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[PDF File]RELATIONSHIP MATTERS: Marriage Tips by Dr. John Gottman ...
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Soften your "start up." Raise issues “softly”.” Discussions invariably end on the same note they begin That’s why 96% of the time I can predict the fate of a conflict discussion in the first three minutes!” says Gottman, If you start an argument harshly by attacking your partner verbally
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[PDF File]FOUR HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE
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FOUR HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE The four attitudes that most predict the dissolution of a relationship, especially in combination, are criticism, defensiveness, contempt and stonewalling (in order of least to most dangerous). Dr. John Gottman, a psychologist at the University of Washington, studied more than 2,000 married couples over two decades.
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[PDF File]Session Five - Communication Tips for Family Members
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Psychologist John Gottman, Ph.D, describes a couples therapy principle called the “softened start-up.” Although this approach was originally developed for couples, it can be easily adapted to help family members talk to their loved ones. Softened start-up involves approaching your loved one in a non-confrontational, non-critical manner.
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[PDF File]THE SOUND RELATIONSHIP HOUSE THEORY - The Gottman …
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Pioneers in relationship science, Drs. John and Julie Gottman have revolutionized our understanding of marriage, relationships, and couples therapy. They draw upon four decades of breakthrough research with more than 3,000 couples. The Sound Relationship House Theory is the foundation of the Gottman Method, which uses a practical
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[PDF File]#30 Rules for Softened Startups B & W 3 12 14.docx - GMCT ...
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Title: Microsoft Word - #30 Rules for Softened Startups B & W 3_12_14.docx - GMCT-30-CONFLICT-Rules-for-Softened-Startups-BW Author: Patricia Purnell-Webb
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[PDF File]Softened Start Up - Orthodox Union
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John Gottman Horseman Antidote Criticism Complain Don’t Blame NO criticism, only talk about your own Feeling. I Feel (an emotion)_____ I Need_____ In What Situation_____ For Example Softened Start Up Say this, “I get lonely or insecure when you don’t pay attention to me, when you come home from work.” Instead of saying, “ This makes ...
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[PDF File]Exercise: Turning Harsh Start-up to Softened Start-up
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Exercise: Turning Harsh Start-up to Softened Start-up Our research shows that the way you start your conversations makes a big difference in the overall quality of your marriage. Harsh start-up— that is, beginning with criticism or contempt—causes the interaction to go downhill fast. Partners become defensive and withdraw, leading
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[PDF File]The Gottman 19 Areas Checklist for Solvable and Perpetual ...
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Distributed under license by The Gottman Institute, Inc. 6. An important event (e.g., changes in job or residence, the loss of a job or loved one, an illness) has ... We are now taking up very different positions. o o Comments, and if things are fine, describe how you are managing this area of your lives. ...
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[PDF File]Gottman’s Marriage Tips 101 - Mark Beaird
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Gottman’s Marriage Tips 101 Since 1973, Dr. John Gottman has studied what he calls the "masters and disasters" of marriage. Ordinary people from the general public took part in long-term studies, and Dr. Gottman learned what makes marriages fail, what makes them succeed, and what can make marriages a source of ... Soften your "start up."
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[PDF File]Gottman Method Couples Therapy
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The Gottman method antidote for criticism is called gentle start-up, whereby the conflict discussion starts in a more functional way; the partner’s specific behavior is criticized (rather than the actual partner). Therapists using this antidote may suggest to clients that they turn …
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Gottman soft start up pdf