ࡱ> LNK 'bjbj 44w -UUa4Eh4)((((((($+->(U &d(UU("4UU((V'@E( V*' ()04)'x-@-E(-S(L((4)- : My Favourite Book Introduction As many people know, J.R.R.Tolkien was one of Britain's most famous authors. His head was always swimming with ideas. One of his most famous pieces was, 'The Hobbit,' a prelude to, 'The Lord of the Rings.' It is a story of how a Baggins had an adventure. Bilbo Baggins was not an adventurous lad but he changed, and that is why I like this book. Tolkien's strongest point was his description. If he wanted to publish his book nowadays, it would be impossible because his descriptions would be too long. Here is an example of his description of the hobbit hole: 'In a hole in the ground, there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit hole and that means comfort.' That tells us what it is not as much as what it is. That is what I like most about his description. There is a lot more describing of the hobbit-hole, but that would fill my book, so I decided to stick with the first paragraph. J.R.R. Tolkien's use of language was very interesting. He uses words that we would not usually use in our writing nowadays as the following quote implies: 'The Elvenking said, "Long will I tarry, ere I begin this war for gold. The dwarves cannot pass us, unless we will, or do anything that we cannot mark. Let us hope still for something that will bring reconciliation. Our advantage in numbers will be enough, if in the end it must come to unhappy blows.' Some people may find 'The Hobbit' hard to read, but others may understand it easily. Onomatopoeia was not used that often: I only found it once. The following quote suggests the level of his use of onomatopoeia: 'Bows twanged and arrows whistled.' Punctuation was definitely not one of Tolkien's strongest points. For example, he uses semi-colons to make his sentences very long, like when he was describing the hobbits. However, I cannot quote this because it will be too long. On the other hand, Tolkien's use of dashes were good as the quote implies: '"Good old Bilbo-Bilbo-Bilbo-bo-bo-bo."' As part of Tolkien's narration, he gave a bit of opinion. This quote implies that he knew a little about Gandalf: 'Gandalf! If you have heard only a quarter of what I have heard about him, and I have heard only very little of all there is to hear, you would be prepared for any sort of remarkable tale.' All in all, the book, 'The Hobbit' was, and still is, remarkably good. We have discussed: Use of language (onomatopoeia) Punctuation Author giving opinion There is a lot more to, 'The Hobbit.'  GR (aged 9). I have written this subtitle so that I could explain what I need to without going over previous comments. Firstly, this introductory paragraph is really good but you have shown a capability to improve upon it and move to the next step. Now you have written your book report, you can look through it and see what you are going to say. You should take the main points and combine them in a sentence or a few sentences in order to tell the readers what you will be talking about. The three things you have focused upon are: use of language; punctuation; author giving his opinion. It is now worth the effort to come up with a sentence to say that you believe that these three things are the things that make The Hobbit so successful a book. Saying,' As many people know,' and 'famous' in the same sentence, is, in effect, repeating yourself as if many people didn't know, he wouldn't be famous. Tolkien, a famous British author, wrote, 'The Hobbit;' a prelude to, 'The Lord of the Rings.' I really like this phrase, although I am not sure you didn't take it from the book. The way it implies that his head was full to the brim is really good. The Hobbit, with capital letters as it the title for a book. Good use of ambitious vocabulary. This might not be the best word to use here, but it made me smile. Other alternatives might include 'sort of person', 'hobbit', 'was not of an adventurous disposition.' Don't really like seeing the use of a comma before the word 'and' but here, it kind of breaks your sentence into parts, separating your opinion from the reason for your opinion. As an author, Tolkien's main strength is his description. Very difficult because his descriptions would be considered too long for the current market of readers. A great idea but you need to phrase it slightly differently as it is actually difficult to ascertain your true intention. 'This quote demonstrates the length and detail in Tolkien's descriptions as he goes to the trouble of telling the reader what it is not, as well as what it is.' Can you see how the comma after 'not' makes all the difference? I don't think I have ever written this type of apology in a book report but it is really good as you are explaining why you are limiting your quotes. If given longer than an hour to write it though, you would need to discuss Tolkien's description in more detail, pulling quotes from all over the book and explaining what they are showing in order to demonstrate your skill fully. This is a good example to use here of Tolkien's use of older language. Tarry means to wait for or to keep waiting or delay. You should point this out to the reader and give the reader some other examples of what could have been used to ensure that you drive the point you are making home. ere means 'before' taken originally from 'erelong' meaning 'before long.' Again, you need to point this out. This indicates a war that the Elvish King does not want. This should be a different paragraph to the second part. It links more with the previous point you made about old language as opposed to the point you go onto make about onomatopoeia. You would need to say a little more about why people may find 'The Hobbit' difficult to read though. Onomatopoeia is when an author uses a word that sounds like the sound it is describing, eg bang. Tolkien does not use onomatopoeia often, and indeed, I was only able to find one example of it in the whole book when he describes bows and arrows being fired at the outset of the dwarfish attack on the elves. I like this discussion type language. It suggests maturity beyond your years. I would disagree here. You are entitled to your opinion and you do back it up with the reason you gave your opinion and that is really good. Some people might argue that if it wasn't for Tolkien's use of punctuation, such as the semi-colon, for example, then his descriptions would have been more limited. A good way of linking two alternative views. This should be 'was' as it is his use of dashes as opposed to dashes that form the subjective clause here. Why is it good though? In this case, it is good as it gives the reader a better picture in his head of Gollum falling asleep, thinking of Bilbo, the person who has stolen away his 'precious.' he often interjects his opinion. Just be careful of using colloquialisms and slang in essays. It never reads well. This will come with practice and time. This is a good way of recapping what you have been talking about but as a discussion of the book, you need to try and state how these things link together to make The Hobbit a good book. Overall, this is a fantastic piece of work. Although it might look that I have been really critical here, you need to understand that it is my job to make you even better. You have demonstrated a real talent for understanding what is, after all, a complex text and discussing the issues as opposed to giving a chronological prcis of the story. The quotes you pick are pertinent to the points you choose to make and at times, you give a good explanation of why you have chosen those quotes. As general next step, there are two points that need to be made: we need to look at your introduction and your conclusion so that we can improve your style and you need to give a deeper explanation of the quotes you have selected and how they relate to the points you are choosing to make.  34O P e f ? @   efuvPQ  +,12gʶʶʶʶʶʶʬʬʬʬʢʗʗjhGU<0JUjh +S0JUh|hWCJ aJ jh.hh0JUjhfA=0JUjh0JUjhe;0JUh|h,CJ aJ jh_~0JUh_~CJ aJ h|hb5CJ aJ h|h,5CJ aJ 3  _ Y A r+AgiwWgd_~gdW & FgdW ]^gd| ]^gdW$a$gdWghklwx\]4UVW23VWXY45WXY< !"V W !! " "u"v"7#8###$$ʶΖΖhGU<jh +S0JUh +Sjh.hh0JUh.hhhfA=jhfA=0JUjh0JUhhe;jhe;0JUh_~jhGU<0JUh|h|CJ aJ jh_~0JU9\V2VXv4X!V ! "u"7##^gd_~ & Fgd_~#$&'''gdW$&x'''''h|h|CJ aJ hh_~hGU<21h:pb. 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