ࡱ> NPM -bjbj .Bcc%DDDDDXXXX$|4X/t3/5/5/5/5/5/5/$(13Y/DY/DDn/ DD3/3/,.1y -//0/-\4 40.4D. Y/Y//4 : How to Write your College Application Essay Step 1: Choose your Topic Your college application essay is your chance to bring yourself to life through writing. Admissions officers want to learn something about you that they cannot already gather from information included on other areas of your application. There are several types of information colleges seek in the essay. Personal information Ex. Please provide information that you feel will give a more complete and accurate picture of yourself, e.g., unusual background, personal philosophy, specific traits, etc. Ex. If you were to describe yourself by a quotation, what would that quote be? Significant experience/achievement and its impact on you Ex. Describe a fear or problem you have had during your lifetime and how you were able to overcome it. Ex. What achievement are you most proud of and how has it helped to shape your personality? Important issue (personal, local, national, or international) Ex. Describe the national or international concern that is of most importance to you. What is your position on the issue, and how would you resolve it? Influential people, places, or things (person, literary character, historical figure, creative work, etc.) Ex. If you were afforded the opportunity to meet a historical figure, whom would you choose and why? Ex. Discuss any reading you have done recently that has been particularly meaningful to you and explain why. Future goals, often as they relate to institution Ex. Why have you selected this college/university? What do you hope to acquire here educationally? Ex. How will the degree you are seeking help you achieve your future goals? Once you select your topic, be sure to answer the question and make it personal. Step 2: Write the Introduction The introduction should do 2 things. Grab attention quickly by creating mystery, interest, or intrigue. State the thesis (what you will be proving in your essay. Never ever EVER begin a college application essay like this: My name is Joe Smith. I was born on November 4, 2008. I am a student at Cardinal Dougherty High School in Philadelphia. Ever since I was little I wanted to be a doctor. I love helping people so thats why I want to go to your university. Both of these intros are BORING. Plus, they state the obvious. Admissions officers can figure this out just by reading your application. Both of these intros also TELL the reader, instead of SHOWING the reader using descriptive details and examples. Tips for starting your essay Begin with dialogue. You must stop seeing that Russian girl, " I ordered my brother when he returned home last summer from the University of Indianapolis. Echoing the prejudiced, ignorant sentiment that I had grown up with, I believed it was wrong to become seriously involved with a person who does not follow the Hindu religion and is not a member of the Indian race. Thankfully, that Russian girl forced me to look at the world from an different perspective. Please, can we have a story? Okay, but only one because its bedtime. The two scramble for a place on my lap as if its stadium seating. Their freshly shampooed heads dampen my shirt with a fruity fragrance. As I turn the page, I hear a crisp rustle that comforts me more than any other sound. While Kyle and Marissa are lost in the magic of the story, I am drawn back in time to when my adventure began as their big sister. Begin with vivid image or description. I promised God I would eat all my peas, but He didn't care. A confused eleven-year-old girl, I sat and listened to my father pace. With each heavy step echoing loudly throughout the silent house, my family's anxiety and anticipation mounted while awaiting news of my grandfather's health. My heart racing, I watched the clock, amazed that time could crawl so slowly. Finally, the telephone interrupted the house's solemn silence. I heard my father repeating the words "yes, yes, of course." He then hung up the receiver and announced my grandfather's death and cancer's victory. My life changed forever. Begin with a quote. According to Mother Teresa, If you judge someone, you have no time to love them. I first saw this quote when it was posted on my sixth-grade classroom wall, and I hated it. Rather, I hated Mother Teresas intention, but I knew that the quotes truth was inarguable. I felt that it was better to judge people so as not to have to love them, because some people dont deserve a chance. Judgments are shields, and for a long time mine was impenetrable. Begin with a starting statement or fact. I feel sick. Im nervous and my stomachs turning. The room is lined with neat rows of desks, each one occupied by another kid my age. Were all about to take the SATs. The proctor has instructed us to fill out section four: race. I cannot be placed neatly into a single racial category. Although Im sure that people walking down the street dont hesitate to label me Caucasian, I refuse to live my life by a label. Begin with a question. On the verge of losing consciousness, I asked myself: "Why am I doing this?" Why was I punishing my body? I had no answer; my mind blanked out from exhaustion and terror. I had no time to second-guess myself with a terrifying man leaning over my shoulder yelling: "You can break six minutes!" As flecks of spit flew from his mouth and landed on the handle of the paddle, I longed to be finished with my first Saturday rowing practice. Those torturous and painful weekend mornings shaped me into the person I am today. Step 3: Write the Body You should aim for your college essay to be five paragraphs. Admissions officers only spend a few minutes looking at your essay, so you want to make an impression, not write a novel. Once you establish your thesis (what you want to prove in your essay), find three ways to prove it or three aspects of your topic to discuss. These three items will make up the three body paragraphs of your essay. Sample Outlines I. My grandmother has made me the person I am today. II. She taught me to respect others. III. She taught me to work hard. IV. She taught me to believe in myself. I. Interning at a hospital inspired me to enter the medical profession. II. Environment III. Patients IV. Ability to change lives Remember, each body paragraph should connect back to the introduction. Also, be sure to use transitional words and phrases. Step 4: Write the Conclusion Do relate your conclusion back to the introduction. Do expand on the broader significance of your topic. Do leave a lasting impression. Dont summarize. Dont use clichs like This was the greatest lesson of all. OR I know my dreams will come true. Dont add entirely new information. Sample Conclusions Legos may not have changed the world the way the airplane and the computer have, but for one little boy, they accomplished what no incredible piece of technology could do. They released an unstoppable flow of imagination and curiosity that has shaped the boy into a creative, energetic, and confident young man. I hope to continue performing and studying music after high school. One of my band members met Sean Lennon last week while in the Village and said that Sean was very interested in hearing the demo we will be finishing in late November. Just the opportunity to present my music to a larger audience makes me realize how deeply I want to share the positive experience music has been in my life. Every time I make a new film, DJ a radio show, or record music with my band, I hope to promulgate music that will inspire other people to listen closely to the music that surrounds and impacts their lives. General Tips Use precise language.Use precise language. Samuels touchdown __________ the stadium crowd. a) created much energy in b) energized c) really energized Woolfs essay __________ my opinion of gender inequality. a) challenged b) made me take another look at c) was challenging to As Jessica drew near me, I __________ the baton and took off running. a) grasped b) got c) was given Vary your sentence structure. Before: I started playing piano when I was eight years old. I worked hard to learn difficult pieces. I learned about the effort needed to improve myself. I began to love music. After: I started playing piano at the age of eight. From the beginning, I worked hard to learn difficult pieces, and this struggle taught me the effort needed for self-improvement. My work with the piano nourished my love for music Use active voice. (Passive) I was selected to be the tuba player by the band leader. (Active) The bandleader selected me to be the tuba player. (P) I will be prepared for college as a result of the lessons my mother taught me. (A) My mother taught me lessons that will prepare me for college (P) I am reminded of her voice every time I hear that song. (A) That song reminds me of her voice. Use description, including sensory language and figurative details (simile, metaphor, personification, etc.) The walk toward the coffin was a trudge up an icy mountain. An avalanche of gloom fell upon me, but I was determined to make it to the top. SHOW, dont TELL. Mediocre: I developed a new compassion for the disabled. Better: Whenever I had the chance to help the disabled, I did so happily. Excellent: The next time Mrs. Cooper asked me to help her across the street, I smiled and immediately took her arm. Avoid common grammatical errors, including fragments, run-ons, incorrect comma use, and verb tense shifting. Have someone edit your draft before sending it in. 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