ࡱ> &(#$% H0bjbjޥ .HǴǴ"(%b b 8,4#-0QQ"sssRRR,,,,,,,$S.0,RNRRR,ss,Rss,R,*|J,s00INN+,,0#-`+1^v1$J,1J,DRRRRRRR,,RRR#-RRRR1RRRRRRRRRb k: Selfishness Leads to Hopelessness! Genesis 2:25; 3:1-13 Intro. Recently at a national conference for the American Association for Marital and Family Therapy, a Dr. Mark Carpol asked one question. Dr. Carpol believes if every couple would honestly consider and answer this one question throughout their married lives they would rarely, if ever, need marital help. The question he urged husbands and wives to ask is this: What is it like being married to me? Let me use this to introduce this new series of sermons on the family. Wherever you are in life married, not yet married, not going to get married, divorced, widowed wherever you are these sermons will convince and challenge your thinking as to what God says in His Word when it comes to relationships with each other. These principles are found in Scripture and are essential when it comes to relationships, especially in the home. God performed the first wedding ceremony. It was perfect. It was a garden wedding with perfect weather, perfect surroundings bringing together the perfect man and the perfect woman. Bible tells us that Adam and Eve walked around the garden naked but had no shame/embarrassment. Their being without clothing went beyond the physical aspect; they were totally transparent with each other and with God. You know what happened after awhile. Adam and Eve both ate from the forbidden tree. This set off a chain of events that affects you and me today. It also led to the first marital fight in history. When God asked for Adam concerning his sin, the man responded how? The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave {the fruit}, and I ate. In short, Adam blamed his wife. Then, when God addressed Eve, she responded how? She blamed her surroundings and her circumstances. Lord, the serpent deceived me, and I ate. Does all of this sound familiar? As a result, this covenant relationship designed by God as a perfect union to benefit both Adam/Eve and to glorify God Himself, collapsed into an exchange of accusations/blame calling. What is this? SELFISHNESS. We all struggle with this sin which lies at the heart of every marital problem. Marriage counselor Willard F. Harley Jr. wrote: The sudden surge of divorces in the 1970s, that has made America the country with the highest divorce rate, has a great deal to do with changes in our basic beliefs. More to the point, it has to do with a major shift toward self-centeredness. Beliefs that encourage self-centeredness destroy marriage. Ed Young in The Ten Commandments of Marriage: if every couple walking the aisle took seriously this simple principle, a welcome oasis of marital bliss would spread across this nation. Divorce lawyers would have to take a number at the unemployment office Purpose: to see how selfishness especially in marriage leads to hopelessness Philippians 2:3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Sounds basic enough, but its not simple. Selfishness is the one character trait that is sure to torpedo a relationship, especially a marriage. The following will help you and me identify this sin in our lives and to avoid the inevitable hopelessness it brings: I DEFINING SELFISHNESS Immature Love vs Mature Love 1. Make it a habit to ask young couples coming to me to perform their wedding ceremonies: How do you know youre in love? The range of answers I get is always amazing, but, generally speaking it follows pretty much this line: I feel special whenever I am around them I feel lost without them I feel lonely when theyre not around I feel excited 2. Nothing wrong with puppy love but unless this grows into mature love, marriage will struggle/probably not survive. If you build your marital relationship on puppy love, youll end up living a dogs life. 3. PUPPY LOVE verses MATURE LOVE: focus on taking focuses on giving impatient self-serving patient in spite of others flaws outbursts of anger responds gently and patiently insists on meeting its needs transparent and open Thoughtlessness vs Thoughtfulness 1. Insensitivity will destroy any relationship, but it will murder a marriage. 2. Note how thoughtless Adam and Eve were to each other and most significantly to God after they had chosen to sin. Their thoughtlessness led to sinning and ultimately to sorrows of life itself. Ephesians 5:17 So then do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. a. two contrasting words are the meat of this verse: foolish and understand b. foolishness is the natural result of a lack of understanding! This is whats meant by working at marriage = understanding ones mate absolutely essential - it takes constant effort to develop a marriage it takes no effort to ruin one Killing Time vs Using Time 1. Ephesians 5:15-16 Be very careful, then, how you live not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. = literally means buy up all the opportunities time brings to you. 2. So easy to spend our time on careers, hobbies, work and other self-gratifying activities all at the expense of our marriages or other relationships. How many marriages suffer daily simply because one or both in the marriage are so wrapped up in their selfish wants and needs they dont have time left for their mate or anyone else? Avoid selfishness and youll use time wisely in your marriage! Obviously other areas can be brought up, but examine these three and see how they define selfishness. II DEALING WITH SELFISHNESS - do you see yourself in any of the three identifying marks just used to define selfishness? Are you at all immature in your love for your mate? Ever been thoughtless with your mate? Do you tend to misuse your time leaving your mate the leftovers? Truth is most if not all of us are guilty How deal: A. Set Your Priorities Together 1. Every marriage has priorities problem in most marriages have a husband/wife with two different sets of priorities and usually one being dominant again evidence that selfishness reigns. 2. Only the Lord can enable a husband and wife establish the right priorities together: a. Ephesians 5:22-25 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, His body, of which He is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her b. only way this can and will be accomplished is by both being Christians Spirit of God Be thorough students of Gods Word and let the Lord set the priorities for your marriage! B. Know Your Expectations 1. Prior to their sinning, Adam and Eve had a perfect understanding of each others expectations there was no conflict in what the one expected from the other all changed when sin entered - why we end up with books and tee shirts like these 2. Healthy marriages sit down with each other and constantly strive to understand one anothers expectations, goals from marriage. 3. Its a matter of focusing on your mate, rather than being focused on yourself. C. Recognize Your Backgrounds When two people marry they come from differing backgrounds understanding this is essential Adam and Eve initially didnt have this challenge, but after sin, they certainly did. It is going to take time to understand how your mate is going to make decisions, resolve conflict, handle money, discipline the kids, deal with pressures etc. This is why the Lord said, leave mom and dad and cleave to your wife husbands and wives must establish their own homes even though they come from differing backgrounds. Conclusion: How then will one know they are successfully dealing with self-centeredness in their marriage? How can a couple identify they truly are recovering from selfishness? Love. Love is the key 3 aspects: 1) Feeling Love (eros) or romantic love following poem describes most of we men here today = lovesick I climbed up the door and shut the stairs; I said my shoes and took off my prayers. I shut off the bed and climbed into the light. And all because She kissed me good night! This kind of love is God given and is kind of love that will have its ups and downs because of selfishness 2) Friendship Love (phileo) friendship love results in falling, madly or blindly in love, -- it too will have its ups and downs because of selfishness 3) Forever Love (agape) eros love is about looks; phileo love is all about feelings; but agape love is all about choice it sustains the marriage and gives it depth -- Bible provides the classic definition for love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. Feeling love brings sizzle to marriage Friendship love brings interest and fun These loves will surge and retreat come and go; however, Forever love (agape) love remains constant and brings security to marriage. It is this kind of love that is essential to crowd out selfishness in our marriages. Few yrs ago a TV talk show host asked Billy and Ruth Graham about their 56 year marriage. Whats the secret to your wonderful marriage? asked the host. Graham responded: We are happily incompatible. What did he mean? They had learned to overcome their own selfishness and consider each other more important. Great illus. to understanding selfishness leads to hopelessness when it comes to marriage. Granted, marriage isnt always easy, but its always worth the effort. When a man and woman learn to put aside themselves and give their mate top priority, their marriage will fill with satisfaction and power! Like this shorter player trying to guard the taller player. Marriage engulfed with selfishness is hopeless!     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Td,iK@X@,RLTMarkY,!2TT"iK@X@RLP T,#@iK@X@#R%LCarpol asked one question. Dr. CarpolC,!22,'2,223, 22,'22H!C,!22TTA_iK@X@ARLP Tp`T iK@X@`RLXbeliev2,,2TU D iK@X@U RL|es if every couple would,'!,3,#0,222, H322TTE c iK@X@E RLP Td iK@X@d R L`honestly c222,'0,TiK@X@RL|onsider and answer this 22'2,! ,32,2'H,!2& TT,kK@X@,,Lone question throughout their married lives 22,22,'222!2212222,!N,!!,22,'TlkK@X@LXthey 2-0Tk K@X@ Ldwould rarelH222!,!,T kK@X@ Ly, if ever, need marital help0!,2,!3,-2N,!,2,2TTk K@X@LP.TT!k<K@X@!LP T=kK@X@=LxThe question he urged =2,22,'222,2!1,3Rp  @Times New Roman NQ l MQ qS  qSXG*Ax Times ew oman 0 0Sl l zS dvdv% Rp @Times New RomanqSXgywe!~AAAx T dA #v}ABT zAE|ApJA X swgyw?dywcyw! dA &ApJApJv &AT vvdv% ( R&" WMFC dd6p  @Times New Romanyw?dywrMET dA #v}ABT gywe!~AABU ;%#v}A@BB eywB vAv|L Bpvcyw!|  X vSv$-vB@(<%!@(<vvdv% ( Rp @Times New RomanABU ;%#v}A@BB gywe!~AABV ;&#v}A@BB eywBy ] vAv|Ly ]Bpvcyw!| y ]X vSv$-vB@(<%!@(<vvdv% ( Rp  @Times New RomanABV ;&#v}A@BB gywe!~AABW ;'#v}A@BB eywB vAv|L Bpvcyw!|  X vSv$-vB@(<%!@(<vvdv% ( % (  T, OK@X@,8ILhusbands and wives to ask is this:  What is it like being married to me? 22'2,22',22H2,'2,(2'2',_2,'2,2,21N-!!,22N,.,TT  OK@X@ 8LP - TT,QDK@X@,LP TTEQK@X@ELP TPQK@X@+LLet me use this to introduce this new serie<,O,2',2'22!232,,2'2,I',!,T|Q K@X@L\s of ser(2!'-!T Q K@X@ Ltmons on the family. N22'222,",N0T QK@X@ LWherever you are in life `2,!,2-! 022,!-2!,TTQQK@X@LP 2TTQQoK@X@QLP TpQK@X@p L`married, N,!!,2 T, 5K@X@,=Lnot yet married, not going to get married, divorced, widowed 22 0,N,!!,222 12312 2,N,"!,2222",-2H22H,2TT A 5K@X@ LP 3TTB ` 5K@X@B LP T\a 5K@X@a -Lwherever you are these sermons will convince H2,",2-! 032 ,!-2,',(,!N22'I,2222,, TD,7K@X@,TLand challenge your thinking as to what God says in His Word when it comes to relatio,22 ,2,,31,"022! 22321 ,' 2 H2, H22 '.0' 2 H' _2!2 H2,2  ,2N,' 2 !,,2TX7jK@X@LPns2'Tk7K@X@kLxhips with each other. 22' H1 ,,,2 22,! Tp,2K@X@,LXThese =2,',T3{ K@X@3JLprinciples are found in Scripture and are essential when it comes to relat2!2,2,',!,!223228,!22!,,22,",,'(,2,H2,2,2N,'2",,T | {K@X@|  Lionships, especially in the home22'22','2,,,022,22N,TX|K@X@|LP. TTK@X@LP - TT,K@X@,wLP TK@X@whLGod performed the first wedding ceremony. It was perfect. It was a garden wedding with perfect weather, H222,!!2!N,22,!!' H,2221-,",N230 I,'2,!!-, I,',2,!2-2H,2221H22,!",, H,,2,! T,K@X@, Ldperfect surr2,!!-,'2"!TH K@X@*Loundings bringing together the perfect man222221(2!313131,3,!2-2-!!-,N,2TT  K@X@ LP T  K@X@ L|and the perfect woman. ,223,2-!!-,H2O,2Tl qK@X@ LXBibleB2,TTrK@X@rLP TK@X@Ltells us that Adam and Eve ,'2'2,H3,N,22=3, T|,tK@X@,]]&" WMFC dd6Lwalked around the garden naked but had no shame/embarrassment. Their being without clothing wH,2,2!,!2222 3,!1-!2-2 2,2,3 22 2,3 22 '2-N,,N2,!",''N,2 =2,! 2,31!H222 ,2222!HTtK@X@] Ldent beyond ,2 2.0223 T4,v K@X@,QLthe physical aspect; they were totally transparent with each other and with God. 2,230'-,,'2-,2-0H,!,2,0!,2'3,!,2H2,,,222,!,22H2H22TT v K@X@ LP - TT,ZK@X@,CLP T\oZK@X@CXLYou know what happened after awhile. Adam and Eve both ate from the forbidden tree. ThisH22222HH2,2,22,2-2,!,!,H2,H2,N,23=2,222,,!!2N2,!2!222,2!,,=2'TTpZK@X@pCLP TZK@X@CLlset off a chain ',2!!,,2,3 T,\K@X@,Llof events that a2!%,2,2'%2,%,T \K@X@ Lffects you and me today. It also!!,,''032%,22%N,%22-/& %,'2TT\ K@X@LP %T| \0 K@X@ L\led to t,2%2%T1 \s K@X@1 Lxhe first marital fight2,%!!'$N,!,%!12TTt \ K@X@t LP %T \K@X@ Lin history. When God asked for 2%2'2"0%_2,2%H22%,'2,2%!2!Rp @Times New Roman  NQ l MQ qS  |-qSXG*Ax Times ew Roman 0 0Sl l zS |-dv% % % Rp  @Times New Roman NQ l MQ qS  |-qSXG*Ax Times ew oman 0 0Sl l zS |-dvdv% Rp @Times New RomanqSXgywe!~AAAx Z fA #v}ABZ zAE|ApJA X swgyw?dywcyw!fA &ApJApJv &AZ vvdv% ( Rp  @Times New Romanyw?dywrMEZ fA #v}AB [yw gywe!~AAB[ :*#v}A@BB eywBy ` vAv|Ly `Bpvcyw!| y `X vSv$-vB@(<%!@(<vvdv% ( Rp @Times New RomanAB[ :*#v}A@BB gywe!~AAB\ :+#v}A@BB eywBi vAv|Li Bpvcyw!| i X vSv$-vB@(<%!@(<vvdv% ( Rp  @Times New RomanAB\ :+#v}A@BB gywe!~AAB] :,#v}A@BB eywBy a vAv|Ly aBpvcyw!| y aX vSv$-vB@(<%!@(<vvdv% ( % (  % % % Tl,n @ K@X@,) 0LAdam concerning his sin, the man responded how? H2,N,22,-!2212''22,N,2!,'2222,222H-% % % To @ K@X@o ) 6L The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave {the 882,C2H22C22H92122,,22,C1H,'2,22,,(2, % % % TB  K@X@, Ltfruit}, and I ate. '2( 222 ! 2,8% % % TXB ; K@X@ LP T(<B  K@X@< OLIn short, Adam blamed his wife. Then, when God addressed Eve, she responded how2 '32! H2,N 2,N,2 2' H!, =2,2 H3,2 H22 ,23!,'',2 =2, '2,!!,'2222-2 22GTpB  K@X@ LX? She . 82+ % % % Th, & K@X@, /Lblamed her surroundings and her circumstances. 2,N,22,!'2"!222221',222,!,!,2N'&" WMFC dvd6,2-,'% % % TP & K@X@ +L Lord, the serpent deceived me, and I ate. 882'22,','2,22,,,--2H,222!2,8% % % TX & K@X@ LP TT & K@X@ LP - TT,(  K@X@, LP T(  K@X@ lL$Does all of this sound familiar? As a result, this covenant relationship designed by God as a perfect union H2,',2"2''2222"-N, .H',!,'22',22,2,2!,,22'222-'12,240H22,'-2,"!-,2222 Tl, 9 K@X@, 0Lto benefit both Adam/Eve and to glorify God Hims22,2,!222H2,N=3,,22212!#0H23HN'T:  K@X@: >Lelf, collapsed into an exchange of accusations/blame calling. ,!,2,2',222,2,3,2,22,2!,,,2(,22'2,N,,,31 T8, ' K@X@,h 'LWhat is this? SELFISHNESS. We all strug_2,$&$2&-#8>;98IH=88#_,$,$'!21Tp( )  K@X@(h LXgle wi1,%HTX*  w  K@X@* h LPth2TTx   K@X@x h LP $T|   K@X@ h L\this sin2&$'2TT   K@X@ h LP $Tp   K@X@ h LXwhich H2,2#TT   K@X@ h ,Llies at the heart of every marital problem. ,'#,$2,$2,,!$2!$,2,#/$O-!,$2!22,NRp @Times New Roman  NQ l MQ qS  /qSXG*Ax Times ew Roman 0 0Sl l zS /dv% % % Rp  @Times New Roman NQ l MQ qS  /qSXG*Ax Times ew oman 0 0Sl l zS /dvdv% Rp @Times New RomanqSXgywe!~AAAx ` iA #v}AB` zAE|ApJA X swgyw?dywcyw!iA &ApJApJv &A` vvdv% ( Rp  @Times New Romanyw?dywrNE` iA #v}AB` gywe!~AABa 9/#v}A@BB eywBi vAv|Li Bpvcyw!| i X vSv$-vB@(<%!@(<vvdv% ( Rp @Times New RomanABa 9/#v}A@BB gywe!~AABb 90#v}A@BB eywB ? vAv|L ?Bpvcyw!|  ?X vSv$-vB@(<%!@(<vvdv% ( Rp  @Times New RomanABb 90#v}A@BB gywe!~AABc 91#v}A@BB eywBi vAv|Li Bpvcyw!| i X vSv$-vB@(<%!@(<vvdv% ( % (  % % % Tt,  K@X@, 1LMarriage counselor Willard F. Harley Jr. wrote: Y,!!-1-,222(,2!_,!27I,!.0(!H!2,% % % T H K@X@ Ll The sudden surg'6,'",,+',",,TI  K@X@I 7Le of divorces in the 1970 s, that has made America the ',,+,''",,',,,,",','"C(,'@C''',' T<, W K@X@,C }LHcountry with the highest divorce rate, has a great deal to do with changes in our basic beliefs. More to the point, it has to',,,*@,,',,,'",,,'''','"',&','',,,?,',',,'",+,,'"',''"N,',,',,,,'",TT W K@X@C LP T| W K@X@C L\do with ,,?, T,X  K@X@, La major shift toward self'C',",,?&" WMFC dVd6',"'TTX  K@X@ LP-TDX 6 K@X@ )Lcenteredness. Beliefs that encourage selfe''-'',,'"";''",'',&,+','"'TT. X I K@X@. LP-UTJ X  K@X@J Lcenteredness destroy marriage. '','',,'"",'",+C'',''TTX  K@X@ LP ( % % % TT, . K@X@, LP PT . K@X@ LdEd Young in =2#H2221#2#% % % T ? . K@X@ !LThe Ten Commandments of Marriage:82,#8,2#D2HH222H,2'#2#S2''22,!% % % TX@ . K@X@@  LP ##T . K@X@  3L & if every couple walking the aisle took seriously ,d!#,3,#0$,222,$H,221#2,$,',#222#',!22'1 T,0  K@X@, oL,this simple principle, a welcome oasis of marital bliss would spread across this nation. Divorce lawyers would 2''N1,2!2,2,,H,,2N,2,''2!N,!,2''H221'2!,,2,,!3''2'2,22H22!,,,I0-!'H223 T, .K@X@, Lhhave to  take2,2,2!,2,TT/ HK@X@/ LP T0I K@X@I &La number at the unemployment office&  ,22N2,"!-2,22,N230N,22"!-,d-TT  K@X@ LP -Rp @Times New Roman  NQ l MQ qS  1qSXG*Ax Times ew Roman 0 0Sl l zS 1dv% % %  TT,ANK@X@,CLP % % %  T+OE K@X@,MLPurpose: to see how selfishness especially in marriage leads to hopelessnesse=2'22',!2',,22C','22,'','2,,2,2H2('22,,22'2222,,''2-''TTF Oy K@X@F LP 4 % % % TT,AK@X@,LP  % % % TT,kK@X@,VLP % % % TamK@X@VLlPhilippians 2:3 8222,2' 21 % % % TtbmK@X@bV\L Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better 8H2 21222 22 2 ','2 2H222 2' ,22 ,22,, 22 2 22H, ,22'2,' 22+'' 2,,' % % % T,oK@X@,Lpthan yourselves. n222,22'',,,'8% % % TToK@X@LP eToK@X@ L`Sounds ba82222'2,T\oK@X@XLsic enough, but it s not simple. Selfishness is the one character trait that is sure to ',,2221222!'22'N2,8,!'22,'''2,22,,2,",,,!",2,''2!,1 T,SK@X@,<qL0torpedo a relationship, especially a marriage. The following will help you and me identify this sin in our lives 2!2,22 , !,,22'22 ,'2,,,0 , N,"!-1, =3, !22H21 H 2,2!/32 ,22 N, 2,2"/ 2' '2 2 22! 2,& T,UK@X@,Lxand to avoid the inevi,222,2222,2,2TUK@X@Ltable hopelessness it brings,2,222,,''2,''2!31'TTUK@X@LP:TTU K@X@LP - % % &" WMFC d6d6 % TT,AK@X@,LP % % %  TT,RrK@X@,]LPI'TTSrK@X@S]LP hTrK@X@]LtDEFINING SELFISHNESSHC<'H'IM8CC<'8NIC87TTrK@X@]LP 6Rp @Times New Roman  NQ l MQ qS  3qSXG*Ax Times ew Roman 0 0Sl l zS 3dv% % %  TT,u=K@X@,LP aRp @"Arial D NQD < ( MQD < qS< D 5qSX3.*Cx Arialx PQp 0S zS 5dv% % %  % % % TXA K@X@LPA.H% % % TTB K@X@BLP U% % % T K@X@LImmature Love vs Mature Love NN,2",<22,2'Y,3",;23-TT K@X@LP -!"  TXK@X@hLP1.2TTBK@X@hLP dT|CK@X@Ch]LMake it a habit to ask young couples coming to me to perform their wedding ceremonies:  How Y,2,,2,22,'2 /3221,222,',2N312N,22,!!2!N2,!H,3221,-!,N22,',H2H ThCK@X@CZLdo you know you re in love? The range of answers I get is always amazing, but, generally 22.022-222I/022!",-2-22,.,-=2,-!,22,-2!.-2'H,!'. .2,-'-,H.0'.,N,-21-22.1,3,!,1 % % % TCDeK@X@CNLtspeaking it follows '2,,221!22H'TTEbeK@X@ENLP iTcj eK@X@cNLpretty much this line:  I 2!,0N3,22'2,-% % % TdZ  eK@X@k NLTfeel,,% % % TT  eK@X@ NLP nT, eK@X@ N%Lspecial whenever I am around them& I '2,,,H2,2,2-!,N-!22222,Nd% % % TdpeK@X@NLTfeel,,% % % TT.eK@X@NLP nTl/eK@X@/NLXlost 2' % % % TCg K@X@CLlwithout them& I H2222,Nd% % % TdgK@X@ LTfeel,,% % % TTgK@X@LP TgR K@X@"Llonely when they re not around& I 23,0H3,22.0"!,22,!3222d% % % TdB g K@X@S LTfeel,,% % % TT g K@X@ LP T| gK@X@ L\excited& ,3,,2dTTgK@X@LP - TXKK@X@4LP2.2TTBKK@X@4LP dTDAKK@X@C4TLNothing wrong with puppy love but unless this grows into mature love, marriage will H2221CI!231CH2C32230C22-C22C22,''D2'C1!2H'C22CN,2",C22,CN,"!-1-CHRp@Times New Roman  NQ l MQ qS  7qSXG*Ax Times ew Roman 0 0Sl l zS 7dv% % % Rp @Times New Roman NQ l MQ qS  7qSXG*Ax Times ew oman 0 0Sl l zS 7dvdv% Rp@Times New Romanyw?dywrNEXgywe!~AAAx f tA #v}ABf zAE|ApJA X swgyw?dywcyw!tA &ApJApJ&" WMFC dd6v &Af vvdv% ( Rp @Times New Romanyw?dywrGEf tA #v}ABf gywe!~AAXBg 5*4#v}A@BPB eywXB]  vAv|L] XBpvcyw!| ] X vSv$-vXB@(<%!@(<vvdv% ( Rp@Times New RomanAXBg 5*4#v}A@BPB gywe!~AAxBh 5*5#v}A@BpB eywxB  vAv|L xBpvcyw!|  X vSv$-vxB@(<%!@(<vvdv% ( Rp @Times New RomanAxBh 5*5#v}A@BpB gywe!~AAXBi 5*6#v}A@BPB eywXB]  vAv|L] XBpvcyw!| ] X vSv$-vXB@(<%!@(<vvdv% ( % (  % % % TCMMK@X@CLtstruggle/probably n'!221,2!23,202TNM K@X@N Ldot survive. 2'2"22,% % % ThdYK@X@ZL If you build your marital relationship on puppy love, you ll end up living a dog s life. !$&&&&%$&&9!!!!&&&&&&&%&&$&%!$&&!&&&&%&%!%&%!"TTZd{K@X@ZLP " % % % TX1K@X@LP3.2TTB1K@X@LP dT`C1K@X@CLT TT1K@X@LP unTT1K@X@LP T 1K@X@ L`PUPPY LOVE8H88H<HH>TT 1K@X@ LP uTT31K@X@LP TT41K@X@4LP iTT 1K@X@LP Tl  1K@X@ LX Tp  1K@X@ LXverses2,!',(TT  1K@X@ LP TT k 1K@X@ LP TTl  1K@X@l LP TT  1K@X@ LP @Tl P1K@X@ LX TQ61K@X@Q LdMATURE LOVE:YH=HC=<HH=TT7c1K@X@7LP - Tp3)K@X@LX TT*3BK@X@*LP TTC3[K@X@CLP TT\3K@X@\LP T(3 K@X@OLfocus on taking !2,2'22,231TT 3 K@X@ LP {T 3K@X@  L`focuses o@!2,2','2T|3K@X@L\n giving21232TT3K@X@LP - TTK@X@LP TTBK@X@LP TTCGK@X@CLP TTHK@X@HLP TK@X@ L`impatient N2,,2TTK@X@LP y2TTK@X@LP TdsK@X@LTself',!TTjK@X@jLP-!TxK@X@L\serving',!232TT3K@X@LP TT4K@X@4LP TT K@X@LP TT O K@X@ LP TTP  K@X@P LP TT  K@X@ LP TT k K@X@ LP TTl  K@X@l LP T K@X@ !Lpatient in spite of other s flaws 2,,22'2,2!22,!!(!,H(TT&K@X@LP - TTBK@X@sLP TTCGK@X@CsLP TTHK@X@HsLP bTK@X@sLpoutbursts of anger2222!''2!,22,"TTK@X@sLP TT3K@X@sLP H &WMFC dd6TT4K@X@4sLP TT K@X@sLP TT O K@X@ sLP TTP  K@X@P sLP TT  K@X@ sLP TT k K@X@ sLP TTl  K@X@l sLP T K@X@ sLresponds gently and patiently!,'2222'1,20,222,-21TTK@X@sLP - TTBK@X@LP TTCGK@X@CLP rTTHK@X@HLP TK@X@Lpinsists on meeting2'''22N,,21TTK@X@LP TBK@X@ L`its needs'2,-2'TTCK@X@CLP TT K@X@LP TT O K@X@ LP eTTP  K@X@P LP TT  K@X@ LP TT k K@X@ LP TTl  K@X@l LP T `K@X@ Lttransparent and open!,2'2,!,2,2222,3TTaK@X@aLP - % % % TT7K@X@,LP  % % % TX8<K@X@LPB.B% % % TT=8K@X@=LP Z% % % T8$K@X@!LThoughtlessness vs Thoughtfulness"=22212,''2,''2'=22312!22,'(TT%8QK@X@%LP -!"  TXK@X@LP1.2TTGK@X@LP iTHK@X@HLtInsensitivity will r 2(,2'2/HTK@X@9Ldestroy any relationship, but it will murder a marriage. 2,'!30,30!,,22'2222HN2!2,!,N,!!-1,TTK@X@LP -% % 666666666666666666666666666666666666 6 66 6  6 66 6  6 66 6  6 66 6  6 66 6 66666666666666666666  c.@Times New Roman---  2 $d ,d',5/ 2 //51 2 5/5 ,5/''@Times New Roman--- @Times New Roman-@Times New Roman- @Times New Roman-@Times New Roman- @Times New Roman--@Times New Roman------ ,d  2 5   2 5 ' ,d  2 5S   2 5S   2 5e  2 5e  2 5l  2 5l  2 5f  2 5f  2 5i  2 5i  2 5s  2 5s  2 5h   2 5h   2 5n   2 5n   2 5e  2 5e  2 5s  2 5s  2 5s  2 5s  2 5   2 5   2 5L   2 5L   2 5e  2 5e  2 5a   2 5a   2 5$d   2 5#d   2 5.s  2 5-s  2 54   2 54   2 59t  2 58t  2 5?o   2 5>o   2 5H   2 5G   2 5MH  2 5LH  2 5[o   2 5Zo   2 5dp   2 5cp   2 5ne  2 5me  2 5vl  2 5ul  2 5{e  2 5ze  2 5s  2 5s  2 5s  2 5s  2 5n   2 5n   2 5e  2 5e  2 5s  2 5s  2 5s  2 5s  2 5!  2 5!' ,d  2 5   2 5 ' ---,d  2 5   2 5 ' @Times New Roman---,d  2 DG   2 DG   2 De  2 De  2 D n  2 D n  2 De  2 De  2 Ds  2 Ds  2 Di  2 Di  2 D!s  2 D!s  2 D&   2 D&   2 D)2  2 D)2  2 D/:  2 D/:  2 D32  2 D32  2 D95  2 D95  2 D?;  2 D?;  2 DC   2 DC   2 DF3  2 DF3  2 DL:  2 DL:  2 DP1  2 DP1' ,d  2 DV-  2 DV-' ,d  2 DZ1  2 DZ1  2 D`3  2 D`3' ,d  2 Df   2 Df ' @Times New Roman--- 2 J$d @Times New Roman--- 2 L2d  2 M2d @Times New Roman--- @Times New Roman-@Times New Roman- @Times New Roman-@Times New Roman- @Times New Roman--@Times New Roman------2 X$dIntro.- @ !Z$-  2 XBd  2 XEd2 XKd ---2 XQedRecently at a national conference for the American Association for Marital and Family Therapy, a Dr.      2 f$dMark  2 f>d C2 fB%dCarpol asked one question. Dr. Carpol 2 fd 2 fdbeliev/2 fdes if every couple would 2 fd 2 f dhonestly c/2 fdonsider and answer this  M2 t$,done question throughout their married lives  2 tdthey v2 t dwould rarel72 tHdy, if ever, need marital help  2 td. 2 td ,2 tdThe question he urged  @Times New Roman-@Times New Roman-  @Times New Roman- @Times New Roman-  @Times New Roman- -y2 $Idhusbands and wives to ask is this: What is it like being married to me?     2 d  2 $d  2 'd L2 :+dLet me use this to introduce this new serie  2 ds of ser)2 -dmons on the family.  12 dWherever you are in life h  2 d 2 d 2  dmarried,  g2 $=dnot yet married, not going to get married, divorced, widowed      2 Td 2 Zd O2 ^-dwherever you are these sermons will convince   2 $Tdand challenge your thinking as to what God says in His Word when it comes to relatio   2 dns,2 dhips with each other. 2 $dThese z2 DJdprinciples are found in Scripture and are essential when it comes to relat  ;2  dionships, especially in the home 2 8d.  2 >d  2 $d 2 :hdGod performed the first wedding ceremony. It was perfect. It was a garden wedding with perfect weather,         2 $ dperfect surrJ2 [*doundings bringing together the perfect man  2 +d .2 .dand the perfect woman.   2 dBible  2 d 42 dtells us that Adam and Eve  2 $]dwalked around the garden naked but had no shame/embarrassment. Their being without clothing w    2  dent beyond 2 $Qdthe physical aspect; they were totally transparent with each other and with God. t   2 d  2 $d 2 :XdYou know what happened after awhile. Adam and Eve both ate from the forbidden tree. This      2 d #2 dset off a chain #2 $dof events that a;2 q dffects you and me today. It also  2 d 2 dled to t,2 9dhe first marital fight  2 d :2 din history. When God asked for o  @Times New Roman--- @Times New Roman- @Times New Roman-   @Times New Roman-  @Times New Roman-   @Times New Roman-  - ---S2 $0dAdam concerning his sin, the man responded how?    ---\2 "6dThe woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave {the   ---(2 '$dfruit}, and I ate.g---2 'zd 2 'OdIn short, Adam blamed his wife. Then, when God addressed Eve, she responded how     2 '%d? She ---R2 5$/dblamed her surroundings and her circumstances.   ---L2 5+dLord, the serpent deceived me, and I ate.e ---2 5d  2 5d  2 C$d 2 C:ldDoes all of this sound familiar? As a result, this covenant relationship designed by God as a perfect union   S2 Q$0dto benefit both Adam/Eve and to glorify God Hims    h2 Q>delf, collapsed into an exchange of accusations/blame calling.  F2 ^$'dWhat is this? SELFISHNESS. We all strug   2 ^dgle wi2 ^dth 2 ^#d 2 ^'dthis sin 2 ^Kd 2 ^Odwhich M2 ^q,dlies at the heart of every marital problem.   @Times New Roman- - -  @Times New Roman- @Times New Roman-   @Times New Roman-  @Times New Roman-   @Times New Roman-  -  ---U2 l$1dMarriage counselor Willard F. Harley Jr. wrote:    - - - #2 ldThe sudden surg^2 l[7de of divorces in the 1970s, that has made America the 2 y$}dcountry with the highest divorce rate, has a great deal to do with changes in our basic beliefs. More to the point, it has to  2 yd 2 y ddo with 12 $da major shift toward selfd 2 d-I2 )dcenteredness. Beliefs that encourage selfm 2 9d-:2 <dcenteredness destroy marriage.o 2 d --- 2 $d 2 : dEd Young in  ---=2 }!dThe Ten Commandments of Marriage:    ---2 ;d X2 C3dif every couple walking the aisle took seriously t  2 $odthis simple principle, a welcome oasis of marital bliss would spread across this nation. Divorce lawyers would       2 $ dhave to take 2 bd D2 e&da number at the unemployment office     2 /d @Times New Roman- - -  2 $d ---2 $MdPurpose: to see how selfishness especially in marriage leads to hopelessnesso  2 d - - - 2 $d --- 2 $d ---#2 :dPhilippians 2:3 ---2 \dDo nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better    ---%2 $dthan yourselves.--- 2 yd 2 } dSounds ba2 Xdsic enough, but its not simple. Selfishness is the one character trait that is sure to  2 $qdtorpedo a relationship, especially a marriage. The following will help you and me identify this sin in our lives    ,2 $dand to avoid the inevi52 dtable hopelessness it brings 2 d: 2 d - - - 2 $d --- 2 $dI 2 )d )2 :dDEFINING SELFISHNESS    2 d @Times New Roman- - -  2 $d @"Arial- - - ---2 (:dA.- - - 2 (Ed ---52 (PdImmature Love vs Mature Love   2 (d ,d'2 5Od1. 2 5Xd 2 5d]dMake it a habit to ask young couples coming to me to perform their wedding ceremonies: How       2 CdZddo you know youre in love? The range of answers I get is always amazing, but, generally    ---(2 Qddspeaking it follows  2 Qd 42 Qdpretty much this line: I  ---2 Q@dfeel--- 2 QRd C2 QU%dspecial whenever I am around them I    ---2 Qdfeel--- 2 Q+d 2 Q/dlost t---#2 _ddwithout them I  ---2 _dfeel--- 2 _d >2 _"dlonely when theyre not around I   ---2 _{dfeel--- 2 _d 2 _dexcited 2 _d 2 mOd2. 2 mXd 2 mdTdNothing wrong with puppy love but unless this grows into mature love, marriage will       @Times New Roman--- @Times New Roman-@Times New Roman- @Times New Roman-@Times New Roman- @Times New Roman-----(2 zddstruggle/probably n2 z dot survive. ---2 zZdIf you build your marital relationship on puppy love, youll end up living a dogs life. 2 z4d ---2 Od3. 2 Xd 2 dd i 2 md 2 zd 2  dPUPPY LOVE  2 d  2 d  2 d  2 d 2 'd e2 6dverses 2 Td  2 hd  2 ~d  2 d 2 d s2  dMATURE LOVE:   2 d 2 Od  2 ad  2 dd  2 gd 2 zOdfocus on taking  2 d 2  dfocuses o2 dn giving 2 d  2 Od  2 Rd  2 dd  2 ed 2 z dimpatient   2 d 2 d 2 dself 2 d-2 dservingg 2 d  2 d  2 d  2 'd  2 =d  2 Rd  2 hd  2 ~d =2 !dpatient in spite of others flaws  2 (d  2 Od  2 dd  2 ed &2 zdoutbursts of anger 2 d  2 d  2 d  2 d  2 'd  2 =d  2 Rd  2 hd  2 ~d 72 dresponds gently and patiently 2  d  2 Od  2 dd  2 ed &2 zdinsists on meeting  2 d 2  dits needs 2 d  2 d  2 'd  2 =d  2 Rd  2 hd  2 ~d )2 dtransparent and open 2 d - - - 2 Od ---2 :dB.- - - 2 Ed ---=2 P!dThoughtlessness vs Thoughtfulness 2 d ,d'2 Od1. 2 Xd (2 edInsensitivity will  a2 9ddestroy any relationship, but it will murder a marriage.     2 d "System???????????????--ddddddddddddccccccccccccccccbbbbbbbbbb՜.+,0 hp  {First Church of ChristH( 'Truth Matters in Our Spiritual HealthGenesis 2:25; 3:1-13V Purpose: to see how selfishness especially in marriage leads to hopelessness Title Headings  !"#$&'()*+,./0123456789:;<=>?@ABCDEGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ[\]^_`abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz{|}~      !"'Root Entry FS0I)Data %1Table-1WordDocument.HSummaryInformation(FDocumentSummaryInformation8CompObjy  F'Microsoft Office Word 97-2003 Document MSWordDocWord.Document.89q