FAMILY: The Good F Word The Life-Changing Action Plan for

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11

Chapter 12 Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20

FAMILY: The Good F Word The Life-Changing Action Plan for

Building Your Best Family

By Troy Dunn

Table of Contents

Why Are You Reading This Book? Set Your Goal for Your Family and Go for It 1 Life-Changing Action Plan: Step 1--Look in the Mirror

Know Thyself: Find Out What Makes You Tick

What's It All About? Get the Answers You Need Life-Changing Action Plan: Step 2-- Change, the Game Changer

Commit to Change: Overcome Your Fear, Reap the Rewards Life-Changing Action Plan: Step 3-- Tear Down the Roadblocks!

Relationship Roadblock #1: Blame Relationship Roadblock #2: Scorekeeping Relationship Roadblock #3: The Silent Killer . . . Silence! Relationship Roadblock #4: Don't Believe Everything You Think Relationship Roadblock #5: Misdirected Healing Relationship Roadblock #6: Deal Breakers Four Myths That Make Marriage Miserable

Master Your Money: Talk Dollars and Sense Back into Your Relationship Sex: Bring It Back Where It Belongs

Welcome Your Children into Change: Listen, Love, and Guide Them The Life-Changing Action Plan: Step 4--Embracing the Good

Good #1: Take Ownership of Your Uglies Good #2: Let in Forgiveness Good #3: Sex: The Great Healer Good #4: Creating Tools to Succeed-- Putting Down Your Weapons Good #5: Build Up Walls Good #6: Walk a Straight Line

FAMILY: The Good F Word The Life-Changing Action Plan for

Building Your Best Family

By Troy Dunn

"I truly believe Troy is doing God's work. And I want to put him in the direct path of as many troubled relationships as humanly possible. And now, finally, he has gathered his ideas and successful strategies for repairing and rebuilding families into a book.

With a wonderful combination of compassion, humor, practicality, optimism and passion, Troy offers the reader an accessible primer to addressing family problems and taking the slow, but sure steps to fix them. Whether you think your marriage is in it death throes or that you just want it to be stronger and better, there are answers here that will help every family be the best it can be."

--Dr. Phil McGraw

EXCERPTS FROM

FAMILY: The Good F Word The Life-Changing Action Plan for

Building Your Best Family

By Troy Dunn

I believe in the power of family. It is fuel. It is air to me. It sustains me. It gives meaning and life to all that I do and all I care about. And now that I know it, I want everyone to know the happiness it can bring you. By reading this book, I hope you will.

My family is the most important thing in my life; I cherish my wife and [8] children, and I work hard on our familial relationships. But I am most assuredly a better husband and parent because of my "day job." Having witnessed the devastation that ensues when families split apart, I'm inspired to pay even closer attention to my own family every day.

Living in a healthy home sets you up for happiness and success as a person, not just as a wife, a husband, a mother, a father, or any other familial role you play. With the stability of a well-functioning family to encourage you and lift you up, you will become more productive at work, your children will be more relaxed and secure, and all of you will be more likely to thrive at every level.

 Choosing forgiveness--both asking for it and receiving it--stabilizes and enriches a marriage like nothing else. If there is one thing you can do to cut through the silences and distrust in your relationship and heal wounds, create intimacy, and rekindle love between you, it is to practice the art of forgiveness. Like owning your uglies, practicing forgiveness opens the doors to trust and builds and strengthens your connection to your partner.

I've reunited over 40,000 people with their families over the last 25 years, giving them the tools to cut through the despair, resentments, blame, and anger that have driven them apart, and I've helped them find each other again and enjoy the love, security, and amazing joy that a rebuilt, healthy family creates. The information and tools I use have been road-tested thousands of times on the most troubled of families, people terribly stuck in very dark places. They are angry, hurt, full of pain, and unforgiving, unable to move forward, backward, or side- ways. But they have the desire to change. And when I see that desire, even if it's just a flicker, I grab it with both hands and help them. I show them, step-by-step, the possibilities for change and give them practical ways to initiate those changes. I help them repair themselves and their families. It is my life's work to do everything I can to save families and make them whole again.

I've worked with a lot of couples eager to repair their marriages, but the ones who have the most staying power in creating new, more intimate relationships have learned how to shed their old patterns of behaving with each other and replace those patterns with a new, positive path for themselves. It's the difference between walking in circles and walking a straight line.

Everything in your life does not have to be reactive and spontaneous. Regain some control of your life and increase the odds of better outcomes and results in all areas by placing some dividers in your life to keep compartments from flooding one another. Your relationship will be much stronger, and you will increase the odds of pleasure in your home. What's not to like?

Even the most compatible couples have fights. Let's face it, you're never going to agree on everything. Nor should you--think how boring that would be if every time you had an opinion or made a choice to do some- thing new and different, your partner echoed exactly what you said, felt, or did. Heck, it would be like being married to yourself, and who needs that! But when you do get angry at your husband or wife, you don't have to resort to guerrilla warfare and the prospect of endless conflict. You can learn to resolve your disagreements peaceably by one simple switch. Replace weapons with tools.

A deal breaker is when one person says to another, "This is a nonnegotiable boundary for me." And there certainly are those in a marriage--drug abuse, infidelity, and violence are what I would call real deal breakers, all violating the basic foundations of the commitment two people make to each other. But unhappy husbands and wives often set up all sorts of so-called deal breakers that really have no use in their relationship except to create more problems. They set up a rack of bowling pins, daring their spouses to

knock them over. It is a myth to believe that setting up these deal breakers is the way to stand up for yourself in your marriage.

Change is never easy. It takes commitment, discipline, motivation, faith, and maybe even a little luck. But the rewards of identifying a better life for yourself and taking the necessary steps to get there are rich and long lasting. I've seen so many families take these steps together and be, in a way, reborn by their new commitment and love for each other. It is from their deep well of strength and courage that I drew my passion to write this book in the hope that others could do what they have done.

Thank you for your belief that you can make a difference. I wish you all the joy and love that a strong and healthy family can bring, and I leave you with my last three action items. Be faithful to the one you're with. Be patient with the one you're raising. Be forgiving of the one in the mirror. God bless.

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