Irving Berlin’s White Christmas By Music and Lyrics by ...

Irving Berlin's White Christmas By

Music and Lyrics by Irving Berlin Book by David Ives and Paul Blake

Original stage production directed by Walter Bobbie

ACT I

(The show curtain is like a giant Christmas card, with the words IRVING BERLIN's "WHITE CHRISTMAS" written large upon it.)

Music 1: Overture

Scene 1

Somewhere on the Western Front of World War II Christmas Eve, 1944

Music 1A: Curtain Music - Act One

(Lights up on a small skinny Christmas tree decorated with K-ration cans and military paraphernalia, sitting on top of what is clearly and army trunk. A home-made banner says "MERRY CHRISTMAS, 1944" and "151st DIVISION" with an arrow pointing to "U.S.A. 3,451 MILES" and maybe a holiday cheesecake pin-up.

CAPT. BOB WALLACE and PFC. PHIL DAVIS are entertaining their division in a home-made holiday show. BOB and PHIL wear battle fatigues and red, fur-trimmed Santa hats, and PHIL wears a set of jingle bells. CORP. RALPH SHELDRAKE, sitting on another army trunk accompanies them on a wheezy squeeze box, part of a one-man band.

To the tune of "Steppin' Out With My Baby" CORP. RALPH SHELDRAKE is MC'ing the end of a holiday show. An audience of GI's watches, seated on the ground.)

SHELDRAKE Settle down, GI's, settle down! And now I've got a million-dollar proposition for you. If there's anything worse than fighting a war on Christmas Eve, it's gotta be our final act.

MUSIC 2: Happy Holiday - 1944

BOB (Under the vamp.)

Private Davis!

PHIL Yes, Captain Wallace!

2.

BOB Remember - don't sing until you see the whites of their eyes!

PHIL I see 'em!

BOB Then sing!

BOB & PHIL HAPPY HOLIDAY! HAPPY HOLIDAY! WHILE THE MERRY BELLS KEEP RINGING, MAY YOUR EV'RY WITH COME TRUE.

HAPPY HOLIDAY! HAPPY HOLIDAY! MAY THE CALENDAR KEEP BRINGING HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO YOU!

(Music continues as a vamp under the following dialogue:)

BOB That's quite a crowd we've got out there. What do you think?

PHIL Looks like they've been through a war.

BOB They have been through a war.

PHIL Well then, they look pretty good!

(SHELDRAKE punctuates the punch line with a razzing HONK.)

BOB & PHIL WHILE THE MERRY BELLS KEEP RINGING, MAY YOUR EV'RY WISH COME TRUE.

PHIL Captain Wallace.

BOB Yes, Private Davis.

PHIL Do you know how long it's been since I've seen a girl?

3.

BOB How long is that, Private?

PHIL I dunno, but we're dancin' awful CLOSE!

BOB & PHIL MAY THE CALENDAR KEEP BRINGING HAPPY HOLIDAYS, HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO YOU!

SHELDRAKE All right. All right. Thanks. We've certainly had a good time tonight, haven't we, fellas? Look, I know you're all missing home.

(PHIL begins to turn the crank of the music box.)

Music 2A: White Christmas Music Box

So here's one to put you right back there in front of the fireplace sung by our very own Captain Bob Wallace.

BOB (Sings a capella.)

I'M DREAMING OF A WHITE CHRISTMAS, JUST LIKE THE ONES I USED TO KNOW, WHERE THE TREETOPS GLISTEN AND CHILDREN LISTEN TO HEAR SLEIGH BELLS IN THE SNOW.

BOB, PHIL & SHELDRAKE I'M DREAMING OF A WHITE CHRISTMAS WITH EV'RY CHRISTMAS CARD I WRITE...

BOB C'mon, boys, help me out...

(GENERAL HENRY WAVERLY enters, unnoticed by them a manly commanding figure using a stick for a cane.)

BOB, PHIL, SHELDRAKE & GI'S MAY YOUR DAYS BE MERRY AND BRIGHT AND MAY ALL YOUR CHRISTMASES BE WHITE.

SHELDRAKE Attention!

BOB (All three saluting.)

General Waverly, sir!

4.

WAVERLY What the devil is going on here? Don't you men know that there's a war on?

PHIL Yes, sir. But it's Christmas Eve and we thought we'd celebrate -

WAVERLY Attention!

PHIL Yes, sir.

WAVERLY Take off those ridiculous bells.

PHIL (Removing them.)

Just a little Yuletide cheer, you know. Jingle Bells and so on...

WAVERLY Davis, if you could march as well as you jingle, this war would be over.

PHIL Yes, sir.

WAVERLY Captain Wallace, I believe you are out of uniform.

BOB (Removes Santa hat.)

Yes, sir.

WAVERLY Dismissed.

BOB & PHIL Yes, sir! Thank you, sir.

(BOB, PHIL, SHELDRAKE and MALE ENSEMBLE start out.)

WAVERLY And gentlemen - thank you for the fine show.

BOB, PHIL & SHELDRAKE Thank you, sir - Merry Christmas, sir - Merry Christmas, sir.

(BOB, PHIL, SHELDRAKE and the GI's exit.)

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