Note: Well… this is a new story… and it’s actually very ...



Note: Well… this is a new story… and it’s actually very interesting… with the permission of those included in this story, I may want to turn this into a real book one day(perhaps)… hee hee… so sit back, relax, and welcome to the world of a new and enjoyable story… Oh… btw… IT’LL MAKE YOU SHIT YOUR PANTS!

Television monitor with a viet guy’s face.

Khoi: My name is Khoi… I used to work for the happy dinosaur corporation… they were creating experimental diseases… there was an accident… the virus got loose… and everybody turned straight… trouble was… they didn’t stay straight. By the way! I’M THE VIRUS!!! OooOOOoooh! *starts to rave*

 

Night of Darkness and the Super Suave Team Under People Integrated Dynamite

Codename: N.O.D.A.T.S.S.T.U.P.I.D.

 

Khoi: *wakes up* aww… what a nice dream… it had girls in it…

 

Khoi looks under his covers.

 

Khoi: Uh oh! Spaghettios!

 

Khoi’s mom: Khoi, time to go to school!

 

Khoi: Damn… I want to go back to sleep… that’s where I’m a Viking!

 

Khoi’s mom: AND STOP USING SIMPSONS QUOTES! SHUT THE HELL UP YOU SONUVABITCH!

 

Khoi: Aww…

 

Later at school…

 

Khoi: Hmm… now my first class… what was it again?

 

Jon pops out of nowhere.

 

Jon: hey, Khoi…

 

Khoi: Hello… ::looks in notebook:: Jon…

 

Jon: Hey, Khoi! I got a date! With a hot girl! Her name is Amanda Kissanhug! I GOT AMANDA KISSANHUG!

 

Khoi: Yeah, yeah, good for you fatty.

 

Jon: Okay…

 

In Khoi’s next class…

 

Khoi: How boring…

 

Voice off in the distance…

 

Jon: I GOT AMANDA KISSANHUG!!!

 

Khoi: Whatever…

 

Unknown to khoi was that the next events would change his life forever… let us observe.

 

Khoi: ooh… look at that hot girl… if I can just look over her shoulder… I might see down her shirt… ::makes drooling noise::

 

The girl looks back at Khoi.

 

Girl: You know, I can hear you right? For this past year, you’ve been doing that… saying random things, drooling, reaching down under your desk! WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU! I TOLD YOU A MILLION TIMES! I CAN HEAR YOU!

 

Khoi: Oh… I can fly!!! ::Mimics flying::

 

Girl: grrr… ENOUGH!!!

 

The hot girl punches khoi.

 

Khoi: ACK!

 

Khoi flies from the punch and gets his head stuck into a canister of radioactive waste.

 

Khoi: AHHH!!! IT’S HORRIBLE! IT TASTES LIKE COOL-AID! Oh well… at least no radioactive spiders bit me…

 

Bunch of spiders come and bite Khoi.

 

Khoi: AHHHH!!! THE PAIN!

 

Teacher: Let us never speak of this again. I might get fired…

 

The teacher kicks Khoi out of the class, the radioactive waste canister still lodged on his head.

 

Khoi: Wait a minute… I feel strange… Like… I’m getting stronger and have superhuman…!

 

A loud fartnoise echoes from the canister.

 

Khoi: Nope… just gas.

 

Later, while walking home from school.

 

Khoi: Aww… Joe… do I have to walk? It’s freaking hot!

 

Yes! I’m the narrator and you must do what I say! Muahahahahahahaha! Anyways… he was walking… when suddenly… the hot girl from before comes up to him.

 

Hot girl: ::blushing:: I’m sorry for what I did before.

 

Khoi: huh? The who in the what now? ::Khoi’s already forgotten…::

 

Hot girl: Well… to make it up to you… I’ll… ::whispers in Khoi’s ear::

 

Khoi laughs…

 

Khoi: Hahaha! Silly person! I’m already a virgin! I don’t need yours! Psh! How stupid can you be?

 

Khoi walks away… girl looks confused.

 

Later, Khoi walks into the Barnes and Noble.

 

Khoi: Hello… I want a book…

 

Female Clerk: Okay… what kind of book?

 

Khoi: Hmm… it’s yea high… neigh wide… and yeah…

 

Female Clerk: Umm… can’t you be more specific… you idio… ::the female clerk’s eyes turn big and she begins to blush:: Handsome, handsome… hot… guy… ::begins to unbutton shirt::

 

Khoi: Whoa! Hey! You can’t make me buy more books just by showing me your boobs! I see them everyday in my mirror! AND MINE ARE BIGGER THAN YOURS! HMPH! ::Khoi turns and walks out the door::

 

Later… on… at… urr… umm… Charles’s house…

 

Khoi: Umm… can you get them off me?

 

Charles’ dogs are humping Khoi’s legs.

 

Charles: Hmm… I’d rather not.

 

Much later on.

 

Khoi: Damn dogs, these pants can never wear white to their wedding now! It’s soo sad… ::tear::

 

Joe: dude… this is lame…

 

Joe and Khoi are in a pool hall… All the girls are staring at khoi…

 

Joe: ::smacks Khoi::

 

Khoi: Ow! What was that for?!

 

Joe: They’re looking at you because you’re scaring them! How can I get a girlfriend with you sitting next to me?!

 

Khoi: Uh… Russian mail order bride?

 

Joe: …well… ::thinks:: NO! no! NO!

 

Khoi: okay…

 

Suddenly the hot girl that me and khoi met in the pool hall before enters.

 

Girl: Hey… what’s your name?

 

Khoi: Uhh… Khoi… but the people who know me call me Fag.

 

Girl: Hahaha, you’re funny…

 

Khoi: haha… yeah… ::looks sad::

 

Girl: Hey… wanna play “strip pool?”

 

Joe: Oh god no! ::closes eyes:: I’m at a crossroads! There’s a hot girl! But then there’s Khoi! The BAD OUTWEIGHS THE GOOD!

 

Khoi: How do you play that?

 

Girl: FORGET IT! LET’S GET DOWN TO THE FUCKING! RIGHT NOW!

 

Joe: :: opens eyes:: I AGREE! Wait a minute… something doesn’t seem right here… hot girl wants to do it with khoi… E = MC^2 divided by the factor of gay and weirdness + the coefficient of the planetary alignment… THIS SHOULDN’T BE HAPPENING! THERE’S ONLY ONE EXPLANATION! THIS IS… A DREAM!

 

Khoi: It is?

 

Joe: Yes… here… I’LL PROVE IT!

 

Joe grabs the girl’s chest.

 

Joe: uhh… squishy? Realistic? Damn… my dreams are realistic!

 

Ten seconds later…

 

Joe: can someone please take this pool stick out of my ass! Please! IT HURTS LIKE HELL!

 

Khoi: Umm… Joe… a little help here?

 

All the girls are surrounding Khoi.

 

Girl #1: HE’S MINE!

 

Girl #2: NO! HE’S MINE!

 

Jon: NO HE’S MINE! I MEAN… I GOT AMADA KISSANHUG!

 

Khoi: umm… hehe… well uhh…

 

Girls tackle Khoi.

 

Khoi: NOOOO!! NOT THE FAT!… ooooooooh… okay… okay… the fat…

 

Suddenly… a strike team of people with the word N.O.D.A.T.S.S.T.U.P.I.D. on their vests rush in and break up the mob of women.

 

Strike guy #1: IT’S HIM!

 

Khoi: Who? Me?

 

Strike guy #2: My god… his phermones are off the charts…!!! There’s only one thing to do!

 

The strike team begins to beat Khoi.

 

Strike guy #3: We’ll beat the super suave outta you!!!

 

Khoi: AHHH!! NOT THE FAT!

 

The strike team starts beating khoi in the crotch.

 

Khoi: OKAY! OKAY THE FAT!

 

Who are these mysterious people? What is super suave? How did the girl manage to get that pool stick all the way into my ass… and were my actions worth it? All these questions and more on the next episode…

 

To be continued…

the next installment of N.O.D.A.T.S.S.T.U.P.I.D.

The last part was kinda inspired... okay... it was inspired by Get Backers... kind of... oh well... let's get on with it...

2nd installment: Help for Beans

Khoi: Ow!!! STOP BEATING ME!

 

Suddenly…

 

Jon: I better put a stop to this!

 

Jon runs into the restroom and comes out wearing a superhero costume with the letters J and K on them.

 

Japkid: STOP EVIL DOERS AND GAZE WITH TERROR! FOR I AM THE CRIMEFIGHTER JAPKID! STOP LAYING YOUR HANDS ON AN INNOCENT MAN! AND FEEL UP ME!… I mean… FIGHT ME!

 

Joe: Dude… wtf… this just got so weird…

 

Strike Guy #1: Bring it on!!!… uhh… not in a overtly homosexual way though.

 

Japkid: okay…! Let us fight…! NOW SUPER JAP PUNCH!!! WHOA…!

 

Japkid slips on an icecube and gets knocked unconscious against a pool table.

 

Joe: Damn… must I do everything around here… *pulls out pool stick and throws it away*

 

Khoi: SAVE ME! SAVE ME!… Hey, a penny! Must be my lucky day!! Whee!!

 

Joe: Sigh… I did not want to have to umm… do this thing… but here I go… ::starts powering up::

 

Joe’s hair starts turning blonde and his hair starts to turn blue.

 

Joe: SUPER SAIYAN!!!

 

Strike guy #3: WTF!!!

 

Joe starts beating up the strike team.

 

Strike guy #1: Ouch… we are beaten… we are really sorry for beating up your ugly kinda weird friend…

 

Joe: It’s okay, as long as you learned the error of your ways…

 

Suddenly two supermodels come…

 

Supermodels: Joe, you’re our hero…

 

Anyways, back to reality… well… everything after japkid getting knocked out was fake.

 

Joe: Freaking hell… ::pulls out pool stick:: That hurts like shit…

 

Khoi: JOE! HELP ME! RAPE! RAPE!

 

Joe: Hmm… okay… now then… let’s see here… hmm… what can I do? I got it! ::pulls out cellphone::

 

Joe dials a number.

 

Seiji: Hello?

 

Joe: Hello? Seiji? Can you come down here and help me fight off a strike team?

 

Seiji: But I have to play… ::is playing Final Fantasy XI, he’s at a wedding::

 

Joe: geez… fine then… be like that.

 

Joe hangs up.

 

Joe: Hey, Khoi! I got an idea…

 

Khoi: THEY’RE BEATING ME! JUST DO IT! DO WHATEVER THAT WILL SAVE ME!

 

Joe: Okay… uhh… man… ::pulls off a Swat guy off khoi and knocks him out::

 

Swat guy #2: WHAT THE HELL…!!

 

Joe starts to knock out the swat guys one by one… until Khoi is saved…

 

Khoi: Joe! How’d you do that?!

 

Joe: I just imagined Khoi Alba and in a fit of anger started to smack them down…

 

Khoi: Khoi ALBA!!! ::starts to kick the shit outta the knocked out guards:: Phew… that makes me feel better. So… what do you wanna do now? Go to Charles’ house?

 

Joe: Uh… shouldn’t we find out who these guys are?

 

Khoi: Oh… right… Let’s drag them back to my place and grab some lubricant on the way…

 

Joe: …shut up and bring only one of them…

 

Khoi: fine…

 

Joe and Khoi leave carrying one of the swat guys… Khoi runs back to the unconscious swat team.

 

Khoi: Hee hee… ::puts one of the swat team’s hands on another’s butt::

 

Later on… it’s khoi’s house… Joe and Khoi have tied the swat guy to a chair… all the lights are off except for one…

 

Khoi: ::slapping the Swat guy’s face:: TALK! TALK DAMN YOU!

 

Joe: uhh… Khoi… he’s still unconscious…

 

Khoi: oh… right…

 

Phoenix enters.

 

Phoenix: ::in viet:: What are you guys doing?

 

Khoi: ::in viet:: Raping some guy…

 

Phoenix: ::in viet:: Oh, okay.

 

Joe: What’d he ask?

 

Khoi: ::shrugs:: I don’t know… something about lobsters and dinner… meh…

 

Joe: Okay… so how do we wake this guy up?

 

Khoi: Uhh… put stuff in his butt?

 

Joe: …no… there has to be a better way…

 

Khoi: Let’s kick him in the balls until he wakes up.

 

Joe: Okay, fine by me.

 

Joe and Khoi start kicking the swat guy’s balls, he wakes up.

 

Swat guy: Ohh… my head… OW! MY BALLS! THEY BURN!!

 

Joe: eww… a little too much info there…

 

Khoi: Wait… before we interrogate this guy… is there something we forgot?

 

Back at the pool hall.

 

Jon: ::waking up:: Oh… my head… ::looks to the side:: WHAT THE…?

 

The two swat guys have their hand in each other’s pants…

 

Jon: Uhh… why am I here… on the floor… with these gay people?… oh man… I seriously need Amanda Kissanhug right now…

 

Back at Khoi’s place…

 

Khoi: meh… it was nothing important…

 

Joe: Okay… now talk! What’s your name?!

 

Swat guy: I’d rather die than answer your questions…

 

Khoi: DON’T MAKE ME HUG YOU!

 

Swat guy: eww… but still! I won’t talk! No matter what!!!

 

Joe: Not even for a Klondike bar?

 

Swat guy: What? No! of course not!

 

Khoi: What if I slept with you?

 

Swat guy: Ugh!!! KILL ME! KILL ME NOW!

 

Joe: Hmm… there has to be a way to get the info out of this guy…

 

Khoi: I know! LET’S MAKE HIM A CAKE!

 

Joe: Uhh… no…

 

Khoi: damn… I really want a cake!

 

Joe: Leave me in the room with him for a while…

 

Khoi: Huh? Why? You’re going to make out?

 

Joe: what?! NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOOO! GET OUT!

 

Joe pushes Khoi out of the house.

 

Joe: So… mr. Swat guy… You won’t talk?

 

Swat guy: Never!

 

Joe: Hmm... I see… well you better… because… I don’t know what I am…

 

Swat guy: huh?

 

Joe: You see… I’ve been quite different lately… and I don’t know why… so…

 

Blue flame surrounds Joe.

 

Joe: You will tell me… what this flame is… or I’ll burn you alive…

 

Outside the house…

 

Khoi: Man… what a drag… sigh… I wanted to make out with that guy…

 

Suddenly…

 

Khoi: Huh? I feel kinda funny… ::twitch::

 

Khoi transforms into his “player” alter ego, Jason…

 

Jason: Hmm… ::looks down:: OMG! WHAT AM I WEARING?!

 

Ten seconds later…

 

Jason: ::sigh:: that’s better… ::Jason is wearing a suit::

 

Khoi: Hey, what’s going on? Who’s this sexy guy? He looks like me… sounds like me… but he’s not me! There’s only one explanation… He’s my twin! Yay!

 

Jason: ::punches his own head:: Shut up in there! Stupid idiot!

 

Khoi: Who are you calling stupid! STOopid!

 

Jason: You!

 

Khoi: Damn…

 

Jason: I’ve been trapped in your ugly face for too long! It’s time for me to break loose and get some ladies!!!

 

Khoi: Oh… can I come?

 

Jason: Idiot…

 

Back in the “interrogation room…”

 

Swat guy: Don’t tell me… You were affected by Integrated DYNAMITE!

 

Joe: Wtf is that?… anyways… I’m going to tell you how this happened… it was one month ago…

 

One month ago…

 

Joe: Dude… Khoi… you won’t be able to do it…

 

Khoi: Says you! ::is eating fifty honeybuns:: I’M GOING FOR THE WORLD RECORD!

 

Joe: Sigh… whatever… I’m leaving…

 

Joe turns and slips on a honey bun wrapper and accidentally gets his head stuck in a radioactive canister.

 

Joe: AHHHHH!!! GET IF OFF! IT TASTES LIKE COOL AID! HELP ME!

 

Khoi: I’m eating right now!

 

Joe: AHHH!!! I FEEL STRANGE!!! WHY IS THERE A RADIOACTIVE CANISTER HERE!!!

 

Khoi: Because you touch yourself at night!!

 

Back in the present…

 

Joe: and then after that… I found out that I could create blue fire from myself… sigh… if only I wasn’t in that wood store at the time…

 

Swat guy: No way! THIS IS TOO MUCH OF A COINCIDENCE! You’re telling me that both you and your friend have been affected by N.O.D.A.T.S.S.T.U.P.I.D.!!!

 

Joe: Uhh… huh?

 

Swat guy: He was affected by the Super Suave chemical… and you were affected by the Integrated Dynamite chemical… How… utterly utterly coincidental… As if this story was being written by some lame guy who can’t get a girlfriend that he likes…

 

SHUT THE FUCK UP!

 

Swat guy: Make me!

 

FINE! Swat guy explodes!!!

 

Swat guy: ::dead::

 

Joe: YOU IDIOT! NOW I CAN’T FIND OUT WHAT SUPER SUAVE AND INTEGRATED DYNAMITE IS!

 

Do you want to explode!!! I can always replace you with someone like… uh… Cuong!!

 

Joe: uhh… never mind…

 

Anyways, back with Jason and Khoi…

 

Khoi: lalalalallalalala… hey… let’s go get some honey buns…

 

Jason: SHUT UP!

 

Hot girl: Uhh… who are you talking to?

 

Jason: Uh… nobody… haha… so Can I get your… uh oh?

 

Jason suddenly transforms back into Khoi

 

Khoi: CAN I GET YOUR NAKED PICTURE!!!

 

Hot girl: Uhh… what?

 

Khoi turns back into Jason.

 

Jason: hahaha… I mean… let’s go get some coffee… and talk about your life.

 

Jason turns back into Khoi

 

Khoi: …THEN GET FREAKY!!!

 

Khoi turns back into Jason.

 

Jason: DAMN YOU! STOP COMING OUT!

 

Jason turns back into Khoi..

 

Khoi: BUT I’M SO HORNY!

 

Khoi/Jason starts to fight himself.

 

Hot girl: Uhh… uhh… AHHHH!!! ::runs away:: SCHIZO!!!

 

Jason: No!! Wait, come back!

 

Jason turns back into Khoi.

 

Khoi: YEAH! COME BACK SO I CAN TOUCH YOUR BOOBS! YOUR BOOBS!!!

 

Jon: YOUR BOOBS!… so… uhh… Khoi… why are we yelling?

 

Khoi: Iono… some fag…

 

Khoi suddenly turns back into Jason.

 

Jason: Ugh… you buffoon… you ruined my date of a lifetime… We could’ve had wonderful music… ::takes out a rose… mysterious music plays in the background::

 

Jon: ::tears in eyes:: So beautiful… I mean! Are you hitting on me?!

 

Jason turns back into Khoi.

 

Khoi: Take this! ::kicks Jon in the nuts::

 

Jon: ohh…. The pain… so familiar… so nice… I mean! OW!

 

Khoi: …anyways… time to get fat! ::pulls out a honeybun from outta nowhere::

 

Jason: ! NO! THAT’LL GO STRAIGHT TO OUR THIGHS!!! ::tries to keep honeybun away from Khoi’s mouth::

 

Khoi: NOOO! DAMMIT! GET IN MY BELLY!

 

Khoi is struggling with himself to eat the honeybun.

 

Jon: Uhh… Khoi… are you on some schizo diet or something?

 

Khoi: SHUT UP PORKY! ::trying to force his right hand with his left hand to put the honey bun in his mouth::

 

Jon: Uhh… okay…

 

Joe arrives.

 

Joe: Well, Khoi… it seems like the Swat guy died… someone exploded him……what are you doing?

 

Khoi: Eating!

 

While this was going on… there was something happening on the other side of town.

 

Mr. Pimp: DAMN IT ALL! YOU HO’S BETTA GET CRACKIN’! OR I’LL GET A SMACKIN’! YA HEARD?!

 

Sandra: Okay… okay… just don’t yell…

 

Mr. Pimp: WHO’S YELLING HO?! THIS IS HOW I ALWAYS TALK! FO SHIZZLE! IT’S OFF THE HEEZY!

 

Sandra: Geez…

 

Later on… Khoi and Joe are in a junkyard…

 

Khoi: geez, I can’t come back home like this… My parents will freak if I’m talking to myself and attracting girls!

 

Joe: Psh… I can’t go home either… I burned three of my beds in the past seven days… my parents kicked me out… they think I’m smoking weed under my sheets.

 

Khoi: Oh well, time to get a new home! ::opens up a dumpster with a hobo living inside:: GET OUTTA THERE!

 

Hobo: Who the hell are you?

 

Khoi: Uh… I love you?

 

Hobo: Sigh… you’re an idiot.

 

Later on at the hobo’s fireplace… Khoi, Joe, and the hobo are eating beans.

 

Hobo: So, why are you young fellas here?

 

Khoi: We wanted to get married but our parents wouldn’t allow it.

 

Joe smacks Khoi in the head.

 

Khoi: oooOOOoooh! ::slaps Joe::

 

Joe and Khoi start to smack each other. Khoi starts to eat Joe’s beans,

 

Joe: BASTARD! THOSE ARE MY BEANS!

 

Khoi: MINE NOW PORKY!

 

The hobo smiles…

 

Hobo: You know… you guys remind me of my son and daughter…… urr… at least a sick and twisted version of them… sigh…

 

Joe: Really… where are they?

Hobo: It’s a long story… and you probably wouldn’t want to listen.

 

Joe: Phew, thanks, I hate old people stories…

 

Hobo: well, it was about two years ago… We were a middle class family… we were quite happy with the way we lived… but then my son got into a little trouble… He had gambled himself into a huge debt. He ran away from the city and left me and my daughter to pay his debt… However, the sum was too huge… They took our savings, belongings, and house… but it still wasn’t enough to cover their debt. So… they also took my daughter… ::cries:: It’s all his goddamn fault… my good for nothing son…

 

Joe: wow… that’s a sad story.

 

Khoi: the who in the what now? Hmm… okay… ::gets up:: WE’LL GET YOUR DAUGHTER BACK!

 

Joe: yeah… sad story… WHAT?!

 

Hobo: I can’t let you young boys do that… they’re dangerous people… their leader is the notorious Mr. Pimp…

 

Khoi: Mr. Pimp… sounds so… familiar… oh well!

 

Hobo: Look, it’s my problem! You young kids have no business to help me! What will you gain?!

 

Khoi: You gave us beans… meh… it’s all good!

 

Joe: whoa… uhh… Khoi… we can’t just risk our lives for… beans…

 

Khoi: Uhh… but these are good beans! They’re don jose! DON JOSE!

 

Joe: Hey, I didn’t say we weren’t going to do it… but… old man!

 

Hobo: Huh?

 

Joe: How much will you pay us? To get your daughter back?

 

Hobo: …uhh… I can give you the last of my great treasures… ::takes off a cover off a box::

 

Khoi: gasp! It’s… it’s… a box!!!

 

Hobo: NO YOU IDIOT! ::opens the box::

 

Joe: …this is…

 

Later on…

 

Joe: You know… you didn’t have to come…

 

Khoi: BUT THERE’S A HOT GIRL!

 

Joe: He never said his daughter is hot…

 

Khoi: Hello… a guy named “Mr. Pimp” wanted to pimp her… How can she not be hot? ::drools::

 

Joe: …anyways… what good will you be? I have fire powers… all you have is… the power to seduce women…

 

Khoi: I know… isn’t it great?

 

Joe: …dammit… let’s switch!!!

 

Khoi: back back no takebacks!!!

 

Joe: DAMN! ALWAYS ONE STEP AHEAD!

 

They are looking through a window in a mansion.

 

Khoi: That smelly guy said that this is where she is… WELL! LET’S GO!

 

Joe: Wait… something about this ain’t right… why would a pimp have a ho living in a mansion? It doesn’t make any sense…

 

Khoi: uhh… LET’S GO!

 

Khoi jumps through the window.

 

Khoi: I CAN FLY!

 

Joe: YOU IDIOT! YOU’LL TRIP THE ALARMS!

 

The alarms sound…

 

Khoi: ::holding ears:: Ouch… what is this… ringing sensation…?

 

Joe: IT’S THE ALARM!

 

Khoi: What’s that? Oh… “Alarm.” I knew that.

 

Joe: damn… WHY GOD? WHY?

 

Guards fill up the room.

 

Guard #1: Hey, it’s just a ::looks at Joe:: KID! And… ::looks at Khoi:: some… weird hippopotamus!!!

 

Jason: Are you really going to take that from that… ugly… ugly guy?!

 

Khoi: ::looks around:: who said that?!

 

Jason: Jason!!!

 

Khoi: Oh… right… ::shifts eyes::

 

Joe: Ummm… why are you talking to yourself?

 

Khoi: Oh, Joe, this is Jason… Jason, this is Joe.

 

Guards: Hi Joe! Hi Jason! Wait…

 

Joe: Umm… I really don’t wanna burn these people or anything…

 

Khoi: Hmm… I’ll seduce them! GIVE ME A BLOW JOB!

 

Guard #1: Ugh! Sick freak! Let’s beat him extra hard!

 

Khoi: Umm… now… as in beat, do you mean hug? And by extra hard, do you mean love?

 

Guard #2: LET’S KILL THEM!

 

Joe: uhh… ::points:: LOOK! A DINOSAUR!

 

All the guards turn around.

 

Guards: Where?!

 

Joe: I can’t… believe that worked… COME ON KHOI!

 

Khoi: Hold up! I wanna see the dinosaur!

 

Joe: …Come on!!!

 

Joe drags Khoi away. They run past the guards and run into a room, where they find…

 

Khoi: A HOT GIRL!

 

Sandra: Who are you?

 

Joe: Uhh… I’m Joe… I’m Joe… I’m Joe… I’m Joe…

 

Khoi hits Joe on the head.

 

Joe: Phew, thanks… I was stuck on repeat.

 

Sandra: …so… who are you?

 

Khoi: My name is Mr. Skittles… this is my associate… Mr. S and M… I mean! Mr. M and M!

 

Joe: I thought our code names were Jose and Kaiba…

 

Khoi: We’re here to do you! I mean… rescue you! From MR. PIMP’S EVIL TYRANNY! ::goes on one knee and poses:: FOR ALL HO KIND!

 

Sandra: …how’d you know I was here?

 

Khoi: My millennium earphones! ::makes that stupid noise he and jon always makes:: Nunununununununununu!!!

 

Jon: ::off in the distance:: NUNUNUNUNUNUNU!!!

 

Joe: Okay… that was strange…

 

Sandra: …

 

Joe: anyways, your dad sent us to get you… hehe… he’s a hobo… I mean… who said…!

 

Khoi slaps Joe.

 

Khoi: STOP COPYING ME!

 

Joe: WHY?!

 

Khoi: CAUSE YOU TOUCH YOURSELF AT NIGHT!

 

Joe: …bastard.

 

Sandra: My father sent you guys?

 

Joe: Did I stutter?

 

Khoi: Yeah, did he stutter?… no really… I didn’t hear him…

 

Sandra: I see… well… it’s this way to get out of here… I was planning on escaping myself… but… anyways, let’s go!

 

Sandra leads Khoi and Joe out of the room and through the hallways…

 

Khoi: So… what are you wearing?

 

Joe: Are you asking me or her?

 

Khoi: Uhh… ::shifts eyes:: I love you?

 

Joe: whatever…

 

Sandra: We’re here… ::points to the door::

 

Joe: hmm… interesting…

 

They open the door. Everything is pitch black.

 

Joe: It’s a little dark here…

 

There’s a slapping noise.

 

Joe: OW! WHAT’D I DO?! I thought you were scared so I put my hand on your shoulder.

 

Khoi: That wasn’t my shoulder…

 

Joe: WTF! KHOI! THEN WHAT DID I TOUCH?!

 

Khoi: Uhh… my boob?

 

Joe: …::shudders::

 

The lights suddenly turn on.

 

Khoi: HEY! LOOK JOE! IT’S A SURPRISE PARTY!

 

There are a whole mess of gangsters with guns pointed at Khoi and Joe. Mr. Pimp is also there… and standing next to him is Sandra.

 

Khoi: Uhh… Sandra… you’re on the wrong side there…

 

Sandra: No… I think I’m on the right side.

 

Joe: Uhh… so… why are you over there?

 

Sandra: are you guys morons?

 

Khoi: I’m catholic.

 

Joe: I’m Christian.

 

Sandra: MORONS! NOT MORMONS!

 

Khoi: Uhh… I’m human…

 

Joe: Me too…

 

Sandra: MORONS! NOT MOLEMEN!

 

Khoi and Joe: Oh……..

 

Sandra: You actually think that I’d go back to my father. He abandoned me… and I really should thank him for that. Now that I’m the #1 Ho, I can have whatever I want… Diamonds, money… I’m Mr. Pimp’s favorite. Unlike that time where I had to work with my stupid father and have no fun at all!

 

Khoi: …I thought I was the #1 Ho… meh…

 

Joe: Just as I thought… but do you really think Mr. Pimp is trustworthy?

 

Mr. Pimp: HEY HEY HEY HEY! My biz is legit cuz!

 

Khoi starts dancing.

 

Khoi: TOO LEGIT TO QUIT!

 

Mr. Pimp: STOP THAT YOU FUCKER! IT’S TIME FOR YOU CRACKERHEADS TO LEARN THE MEANING OF UZI! PUH POW!

 

Joe: ::pulls out a dictionary:: Uzi… type of automatic machine gun.

 

Mr. Pimp: …Don’t be going all “intellectualmable” on me! I went to college! BIATCH! PUH BANG!

 

Khoi: Hear that Joe… college… no wonder he talks like a scientist.

 

Joe: …right…

 

Mr. Pimp: Well… I guess it’s time to tell y’all the truth of the old smelly cracker in the dumpster! One day, his little kid came to my place o’ bizness… There I was just playa hatin’ when he bet me a whole lot of the bling bling! Ka ching! I won the benjamins! And he payed me back! But ya know… I knew he had a hot sista! So I busted a cap in his ass! Bang! Then I told that dumb wrinkly dude that his son ran away without paying his debt! See! I’m edumucated!

 

Joe: Hear that Sandra, it was all a plot to trick you…

 

Sandra: …You know… I seriously couldn’t give a rat’s ass… that life was stupid… I think this life is a lot better for me. Who gives a shit about some old man living in a dumpster reliving his old memories?!

 

Khoi: ::serious:: Are you… telling the truth?… You’d give up kindness for money? Family for gold?

 

Sandra: Why not? I should live life to the fullest.

 

Joe: Yeah… if you call living life to the fullest being the most popular one dollar ho in the area… well then yeah… you’re pimpin’ the right life.

 

Mr. Pimp: Enough of this bullcrap! I need to get back to my dice game! CLACKITY CLACK! KILL THE YOUNG BLOODS!

 

The gangsters look at each other confused…

 

Mr. Pimp: Take out the fizzle out the rizzles!!!

 

The gangsters still look confused.

 

Mr. Pimp: KILL THEM!

 

Gangster #1: Geez… say that in the first place… idiot…

 

Khoi rushes toward a group of the gun toting gangsters and knocks them all down.

 

Jason: too slow…

 

Joe: Uhh… Khoi can fight?

 

Jason: I’m not KHOI! I’M JASON!

 

Joe: Yeah… yeah… whatever Khoi…

 

Jason: I’m a master at the art of rave fighting!

 

Jason starts to beat up the gangsters using Khoi’s “dance” moves.

 

Joe: I have to admit… that’s pretty cool.

 

Joe blocks some bullets with his blue fire.

 

Joe: SHORYUKEN!

 

Joe hits some of the gangsters with a flaming shoryuken…

 

Joe: And they said street fighter and videogames would never help me in real life. ::hits another person with a flaming arm:: My flame doesn’t have a long range… but it’s still very very useful.

 

Mr. Pimp: WHO ARE THESE FREAKAZOIDS!

 

Sandra: How are we losing?!

 

Jason suddenly turns back into Khoi. There are still a lot of people with guns left.

 

Khoi: Uh oh! Uhh… I didn’t mean to hurt you?

 

Joe: KHOI! BEND DOWN!

 

Khoi: My… how… forward…

 

Joe: SHUT UP AND DO IT!

 

Khoi bends down. Joe puts one of his lit up fingers in front of Khoi ass… Khoi farts… the flame spreads like a flamethrower.

 

Joe: SPECIAL TECHNIQUE! FLAMING BEAN FART!

 

Khoi: ooh… that was a wet one…

 

Joe: that’s disgusting…

 

Only Mr. Pimp and Sandra are left.

 

Mr. Pimp: Uhh… GO AHEAD! TAKE THE CHICKENHEAD! I DON’T CARE! I’M RIIIICCCCHHHH BIATCH!

 

Mr. Pimp runs away.

 

Sandra: Wait!

 

Joe: Well… that guy was reliable…

 

Sandra: ::trembling:: you… you… you… YOU IDIOTS! YOU RUINED MY LIFE!

 

Khoi: Well, sorry!

 

Joe: You really call this a life? You’re pretty sad… ::turns around and leaves::

 

Khoi: You know… your dad gave us beans… THEY WERE DON JOSE! Sweet… sweet Don Jose… I wish I could just… meet him… too bad he isn’t real like the Pillsbury doughboy.

 

Joe and Khoi leave.

 

Joe: Well… I guess I’m going to go home now… my parents should have cooled down from the bed burning incident.

 

Khoi: Yeah…… Can I come?

 

Joe: No!

 

Khoi: Hey, what about that old guy?

 

Joe: It would be better not to tell him anything… some things are better left alone. It’s her choice whether she wants to go back or not… Well then, bye…

 

Back at the hobo’s house.

 

Hobo: I wonder if they’re okay… ::looks at a picture of his daughter:: I’m sorry, you were so happy back then… I bet you’re having a miserable time right now as that evil man’s right hand.

 

The hobo lies down smiling… never to wake up again.

 

Later, at the Mansion… Mr. Pimp has returned.

 

Mr. Pimp: damn them playa haters… I’M A PIMP DAMMIT! SHOW ME SOME RESPECT!… ::looks around:: Where are my bitches!!!

 

Cuong appears behind Mr. Pimp…

 

Cuong: Hey schweetie…

 

Mr. Pimp: WHAT THE HELL! WHO LET THIS GUY IN HERE!

 

Cuong: Hey, you were looking for those guys who were on the ground right?

 

Mr. Pimp: YEAH! WHERE’D THEM GET OFF TO!

 

Cuong: …I ate them…

 

Mr. Pimp: what?… You’re a little chubby… but not that fat…

 

Cuong: No, I mean… I ate them… like this… ::points palm at Mr. Pimp:: Shadow Spell…

 

Shadows rush toward Mr. Pimp and devour him.

 

Mr. Pimp: AAHHHH!!! BUT! MY BLING!!!

 

Cuong: good shadow… good boy… yes you are… yes you are… What’s that? You’re still hungry? There were some people who were here that you want to eat? Good meat? Okay… let’s find those guys… and feed you some more…

 

To be continued…

3rd installment: Possessed

Joe: Fresh dandelions! DANDELIONS FOR SALE!

 

Charles: Uhh… Joe… what are you doing?

 

Joe: I’m selling flowers… I got kicked outta the house again… I burned the door handle to my room… my parents think I used a blowtorch.

 

Charles: Uhh… burned?

 

Joe: ::thinking:: OH SHIT! CHARLES DOESN’T KNOW ABOUT THAT! I NEED TO GET SOMEONE TO BAIL ME OUT! ANYBODY!

 

Khoi: Oooh… flowers… so pretty ::picks one up… it withers:: geez, WHY DOES THAT ALWAYS HAPPEN!

 

Joe: ::thinking:: Thank god!

 

Charles: What are you doing here Khoi?

 

Khoi: uhh… I love you?

 

Meanwhile… at Cuong’s house.

 

Cuong: Anime’s so boring now…

 

Cuong is cutting out the pictures from his yu gi oh cards… and coloring them black with a sharpie.

 

Cuong: So hungry…

 

At Khoi’s house…

 

Khoi: So hungry… ::eating Kentucky Fried Chicken::

 

Joe: Uhh… okay… do you want to share some of that?…

 

Khoi: GET YOUR OWN! FATTY MCFAT!

 

Jon: HAHAHAHAHA! FATTY MCFAT! HAHAHAHAHAHA!… I don’t get it…

 

Joe: Man… I wonder if anybody else has powers…

 

Jon: What?

 

Khoi: You didn’t hear that.

 

Jon: Okay… I’ll just go to sleep now… that’s where I get girls! ::falls asleep instantly::

 

Joe: Okay… now… this is what we know so far… we got our powers from radioactive canisters that taste like cool-aid… the company is called “N.O.D.A.T.S.S.T.U.P.I.D.” and… that’s basically it…

 

Khoi: so… we destroy the cool-aid factory!

 

Joe: uhh… no…

 

Khoi: ::thinks:: I GOT IT! IT’S A FOOLPROOF PLAN!

 

Joe: Okay… what is it?

 

Khoi: First… we buy a whole mess o’ honeybuns… then we… what was I saying now?

 

Joe: First, we buy a whole lot of honeybuns…

 

Khoi: ::shifts eyes:: Oh… right… okay… we buy the honeybuns… then I eat half… then we chuck the rest at hobos…

 

Joe: …WHAT KIND OF PLAN IS THAT?

 

Khoi: YOU TOUCH YOURSELF AT NIGHT!

 

Joe: THAT DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE!

 

Khoi: WELL LADEEDAH! HMPH!

 

Joe: …sigh… okay… I have a plan… WE KEEP A LOW PROFILE AND WAIT FOR THOSE GUYS TO COME TO US LIKE LAST TIME! AND THEN FOLLOW THEM!… damn I’m good…

 

Khoi: …what were you saying now? I was busy with… ::shifts eyes:: stuff…

 

Joe: ……uhh… why is that remote control car in your pants?

 

Khoi: Umm… I love you? ::presses a button on the car controller:: oooh… that feels good…

 

Joe: Right…

 

Back at Cuong’s house… it’s late at night now… and Cuong is lying awake in his bed.

 

Cuong: I think the coast is clear now… time to get a midnight snack…

 

Cuong gets out of bed… shadows engulf his body and Cuong disappears. He reappears in the shadows of a jack in the box. He walks up to the late night drive thru guy.

 

Cuong: I’m hungry.

 

Drive thru guy: ::yawns:: Sorry, you can only order from the drive thru when you have a car.

 

Cuong: Is that so? ::puts his palm up to the drive thru guy:: Shadow Symmetry. ::a shadow appears in the shape of a giant hand::

 

Drive thru guy: what the hell?!

 

The hand of shadow grabs the drive thru guy and rips him through the wall of the jack in the box. It throws him onto a nearby car… the car gets smashed from the top, the alarm sounds.

 

Cuong: Shadow spell…

 

Shadows cover up the car and drive thru guy… they disperse, and the car and the guy is gone.

 

Cuong: ::talking to something again:: What? No good? Doesn’t taste right? Car didn’t have premium gasoline? I’m sorry… what? Drive thru guy tasted like grease? Yeah… I heard you… I can’t find those guys… they taste like gourmet? I should find them now?… Okay…

 

Back to Joe… He’s on a park bench under a bunch of newspapers…

 

Joe: I feel like a hobo… How can I get some money? Maybe Mr. Pimp needs some more ho’s… WAIT! WHAT AM I THINKING?!

 

Joe looks up at the stars…

 

Joe: Wait a minute… you can’t see the stars this clearly in the city… weird… like this story was being written by some stupid Asian guy who is about to move to Texas.

 

Cell phone rings… Joe picks up.

 

Voice: What’s your favorite scary movie?

 

Joe: wrong number…

 

Voice: DAMN IT! AGAIN! GOSH!

 

Joe hangs up. Cellphone rings again.

 

Voice: what’s your favorite…?

 

Joe: DUDE! You got the wrong number again…

 

Voice: DAMN IT!

 

Joe hangs up. Cellphone rings again.

 

Joe: DAMN IT! STOP CALLING ME! YOU PIECE OF SHIT!

 

Girl voice: …Okay… fine… I’m sorry for actually liking you.

 

Joe: …WAIT! WHO IS THIS?! HAHAHA! I WAS JUST KIDDING! ::she hung up:: Man… I really hope that was someone I hate… like Khoi.

 

Cellphone rings again, Joe picks it up in a hurry.

 

Joe: I’m sorry… I really want to meet you…how bout we go to a movie? And talk over dinner?

 

Voice: …Will it be… a “scary movie?” What’s your favorite scary movie?

 

Joe: SHIT! IT’S YOU AGAIN! DAMMIT! FUCK OFF!

 

Voice: ::it’s actually girly:: GEEZ! WHAT DID I EVER SEE IN YOU?! SO RUDE! ::hangs up::

 

Joe: WAIT! IT WAS A MISTAKE!… dammit…

 

Cuong: Hey Joe… whatcha doing?

 

Joe: ::jumps up scared:: DUDE! Cuong… hehe… what are you doing here?… it’s 2 a.m…

 

Cuong: Uhh… I went to visit… Steve?

 

Joe: …your parents let you get out this early?

 

Cuong: Yeah… they see that I’m… mature now…

 

Suddenly from behind Cuong.

 

Khoi: Really? Pull down those pants and let’s see how mature you are… ::clicks tongue::

 

Cuong: ::grabs his heart:: DON’T DO THAT!

 

Khoi: ::grabs his balls:: DON’T DO THAT! You’re too damn sexy when you do that…

 

Cuong: …

 

Joe: So… uhh… what are you doing here Khoi?

 

Khoi: Oh… my parents kicked me out again…

 

Joe: …at 2 a.m.?

 

Khoi: …uhh… ::shifts eyes:: Yes…

 

Cuong: ::stare::

 

Joe: ::stare::

 

Khoi: Fine… Jason told me to get up off my “ugly butt” and to find some girls…… so… have you seen any around here?

 

Cuong: Jason? Who’s that?

 

Khoi: Uhh… SHUT UP!

 

Cuong: Excuse me for a minute… ::runs off into the bushes::

 

Joe: Uhh… what was that about?

 

Khoi: Iono… maybe he’s masturbating?… ooooooh… I wanna see!

 

Joe: …sick… ::shudders::

 

In the bushes.

 

Cuong: You want to eat them?

 

Mysterious voice: The ugly one is plump and sweet from all those honey buns… the nerdy looking one just annoys the hell outta me…

 

Cuong: But they’re my friends…

 

Mysterious voice: I’m your only friend now… you don’t need anybody else… Kill… I need blood… more blood…

 

Cuong: Gosh! Always with “blood this” and “blood that?” Hey! Don’t forget who runs the body around here!!!

 

Mysterious voice: Who? Your mom?

 

Cuong: ::shamefully:: Yes…

 

Khoi: oooOOOoooh! You’re talking to your counterpart! Counterpart of Cuong meet my counterpart, Jason!

 

Cuong: WTF! When’d you follow me here?!

 

Khoi: I thought you were masturbating… I wanted to see how “mature” you are…

 

Cuong: Dammit… I’m soooo going to eat your flesh!

 

Khoi: oooOOOooooh! Sounds erotic! Hold on! I need to prepare myself mentally! I’M A VIRGIN!

 

Mysterious voice: what the hell? Never mind… I don’t wanna eat this guy… let’s go.

 

Cuong: I have to go now… ::runs off::

 

Khoi: BUT I ALREADY TOOK OFF MY SHIRT! ::his shirt is off:: Geez… making me work again. ::puts shirt back on:: It took so much effort to take it off…

 

Jason: Hey, idiot. Didn’t you think there was something strange going on?

 

Khoi: GASP! Who said that?!

 

Jason: YOU IDIOT! IT’S ME! JASON!

 

Khoi: Oh… right… ::shifts eyes:: I knew that.

 

Jason: Anyways… we should follow him.

 

Khoi: …down a dark alley… then tie him up… and butt rape him?

 

Jason: WHAT?! ARE YOU GAY OR SOMETHING?!

 

Khoi: Hey… you’re the one that suggested it.

 

Jason: WHAT!!! ::makes struggling noises as if he can’t get out what to say:: Never mind… let’s go…

 

Khoi: go where?

 

Jason: YOU MORON! FOLLOW TUBBY!

 

Khoi: Oh… COME BACK HERE PORKY!

 

Khoi runs to where Cuong went away. Cuong is nowhere to be seen.

 

Khoi: Oh well… that’s the end of that chapter.

 

Back to Joe’s new “home”…

 

Joe: Hmm… I wonder…where Cuong and Khoi went…

 

Cuong: Hey shorty…

 

Joe: …god that’s creepy.

 

Cuong: I’m kind of hungry.

 

Joe: So what else is new?

 

Cuong: …this… ::puts palm up towards Joe:: Shadow…

 

Khoi: Hey! I found him Jason!

 

Jason: good job… faggot.

 

Cuong: dammit…

 

Joe: Well… continue on with what you were saying before… ::puts palm up:: shadow… shadow what? Eye shadow?

 

Khoi: oooOOOoooh!! Are we having makeovers!!! We can do each other’s hair and then have a lan party!

 

Joe: uhh… no…

 

Cuong: You guys suck…

 

Khoi: Of course I suck! I SUCK COCK!

 

Cuong: ::wide eyes::

 

Joe: ::wide eyes::

 

Jason: ::wide eyes::

 

Khoi: ::wide eyes:: what? Is there something wrong with finishing off chicken bones?

 

Cuong: …sick…

 

Joe: …nasty…

 

Jason: Gosh… why am I stuck in this guy’s body?

 

Mysterious voice: Go… kill the ugly one… eat the guy with the glasses… then we’ll do homework and go to sleep.

 

Cuong: ::nods:: ::points palm at Khoi::

 

Khoi: Geez Cuong… I’m not that ugly.

 

Cuong: Shadow bind…

 

Shadows wrap around Khoi and begin to tighten around him.

 

Khoi: heehee! Look Joe! The shadows are trying to do me!

 

Joe: You idiot! They’re trying to kill you!

 

Khoi: Ohhhh… well this is a new level of kinkiness…

 

Joe: Cuong… what are you doing?!

 

Cuong: I’m eating… don’t bother me… ::points palm at Joe:: SHADOW SPELL!

 

Shadows surround Joe…

 

Cuong: Soon… soon… you’ll have good blood…

 

The shadows around Joe ripple… then burst… blue flame comes rushing out.

 

Joe: What was that?… ::holding arm which is bleeding like crazy:: It felt like I was getting chewed on…

 

Khoi: ::still being strangled by the shadows:: DID IT FEEL GOOD?!

 

Joe: NO! IT FREAKING HURT!

 

Cuong: …I can’t believe it… you are the one I’ve been searching for… now to find the other one… who is he?

 

The shadow bind begins to tighten. Khoi turns into Jason.

 

Jason: FREAK ATTACK! ::Jason freaks the shadows, breaking them apart::

 

Khoi: ooh… what a nice attack… use it on Cuong!

 

Jason: Shut up in there…

 

Cuong: So… I finally found both of you… hmm… interesting…

 

Mysterious voice: Hahahaha… so good… his blood tasted sooo good… almost as good as a double chocolate chip frap from starbucks… now then… let me take over…

 

Cuong: Okay… ::closes eyes::

 

Jason: What is he doing?

 

Joe: I don’t know…

 

Cuong suddenly opens his eyes.

 

Cuong: SHADOW GATES RELEASE! ::Cuong’s eyes turn red::

 

Cuong’s red eyes turn like cat eyes… with a slit like pupil in the middle. His hair turns red and spikes up. Red dragon like wings pop out from his back, breaking through his shirt… and a tail with spikes at the end pop out of his ass.

 

Joe: oooh… that must sting…

 

Khoi: HAHAHAHA! HE’S TURNING INTO CHARIZARD!

 

Jason: Idiot… this is not the time to be laughing.

 

Cuong: Ahhh… finally… I can feed again…

 

Joe: His voice sounds funny…

 

Khoi: HAHAHAHA! HE WENT THROUGH PUBERTY! FINALLY! GOSH!

 

Jason: Well, I think we better defeat this guy fast…

 

Joe: Uhh… why fast? I’m afraid… ::goes into a fetal position and starts to rock back and forth::

 

Jason: Damn you! Get up! The more time I have the more time I get to spend with hot girls!

 

Khoi: gasp… sounds fun… hot girls… ::drools::

 

Cuong: You guys can’t possibly comprehend what I am…

 

Joe: Some sort of shadow controlling dragon?

 

Cuong: Uhh… that too… but I am… the evil one… my name… Martha…

 

Joe: …

 

Jason: …

 

Khoi: …

 

Cuong: …what? MY NAME’S MARTHA! SO WHAT?! YOU GOT A PROBLEM!

 

Joe: Uhh… so the evil spirit inside Cuong is named Martha?

 

Cuong: well… yeah…

 

Joe: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! MARTHA! OH! THAT’S RICH!

 

Cuong/Martha blows out black flame at Joe from his mouth.

 

Joe: Yikes! ::jumps out of the way::

 

Cuong: YOU DARE MOCK ME! THE GREAT DESTROYER OF WORLDS! RULER OF EVIL! THE DARKNESS LURKING BEHIND THE SHADOWS!

 

Joe: uhh… I commend you…

 

Jason: Can you stop taunting the evil red dragon slash short viet guy thing?

 

Joe: Okay… fine… ruin my fun…

 

Jason: One problem wrong with your story… no normal guy has that kind of think inside him naturally… tell me, where did you come from?

 

Cuong: SILENCE! DIE! ::points palm at Joe and Jason:: SHADOW DESTRUCTION!

 

Shadows rush toward Jason and Joe, ripping up the ground in the process. Joe jumps onto a park bench to avoid it. Cuong breathes out some more black flame at him. Joe counters by using his blue flame as a shield.

 

Joe: GOSH! I WISH THIS FIRE HAD LONGER RANGE!

 

Jason: Hey, can you hold him off for a while?

 

Joe: Why?

 

Jason: Because my attack takes a little time.

 

Joe: Geez… lazy bastard!

 

Joe propels himself into the air by having his blue flame burst out from his feet. Joe’s arm has blue flame surrounding it in midair as he falls toward Cuong.

 

Joe: ::lands right in front of Cuong:: SHORYUKEN!

 

Joe hits Cuong with the flaming uppercut made popular by Street Fighter.

 

Joe: I did it! I did it!

 

The flame clears…Cuong is still there unharmed with a shield of shadow around him.

 

Cuong: Shadow barricade… shadow symmetry.

 

A hand made of shadow grabs Joe and throws him through a park bench.

 

Joe: AHHHH!!! YOU DESTROYED MY HOME!

 

Jason: Uhh… I still need a little bit more time. ::is moving his hands in a circular motion, gathering momentum::

 

Joe: What the hell are you doing? This is no time to be doing the CRAZY EIGHT!

 

Jason: Don’t worry! It’s a powerful technique!

 

Khoi: and I look cool… well… no I don’t… but… YOU SHUT UP!

 

Joe: dammit… ::points at Cuong:: YOU DESTROYED MY HOME! YOU BITCH! ::blue flame surround Joe::

 

Cuong: Uhh… whoops?

 

Joe disappears and reappears behind Cuong.

 

Cuong: FAST!

 

Joe takes off his shoe and starts to hit Cuong on the head with it… Cuong blocks with his hands… but can’t fight back against Joe’s vicious shoe attack.

 

Joe: ::still smacking Cuong with his shoe:: DAMMIT! THAT WAS MY FREAKING HOME! YOU SON OF A BITCH! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT THIS! HUH?! HUH?! FUCK! FUCK!

 

Jason: …I can’t believe Joe’s beating that Dragon thing… with a shoe. He’s not even using his flame… He’s fighting like… a old lady.

 

Cuong: ow! Stop it! Are those cleats?! Ow! Am I bleeding?! No I’m not… but OW!

 

Joe: YOU HOMEWRECKER!

 

Cuong smacks Joe away with his tail.

 

Cuong: ENOUGH!!! TIME FOR YOU BOTH TO DIE!!!

 

Jason: ::hands moving so fast now that they’re hard to see:: Nope… it’s not time yet… CRAZY EIGHT! ::jumps up and hits Cuong in the chest with it::

 

Cuong: OUCHIES!!!

 

Cuong is thrown back… he breaks through a wall, falls to the ground, and slides a little before stopping. Joe gets back up.

 

Joe: Whoa…

 

Jason: …I know…

 

Joe: ::starts to hit Jason with the shoe:: YOU IDIOT! THAT FUCKING WALL WAS A PART OF MY HOME TOO! WHAT’S WITH YOU IDIOTS! DAMMIT! DAMMIT! DAMMIT! FUUUUCCCCKKK!!!

 

The next day.

 

Khoi: Ow… WHAT KIND OF SHOES DO YOU WHERE? LEATHER BOOTS?!

 

Joe: ::smacks Khoi again:: DON’T EVER DESTROY MY WALL AGAIN!

 

Cuong: Anyways… thank you guys for saving me… I’m back to normal now… no evil spirits in this body of mine… So… can you untie me now?

 

Cuong is chained to another park bench. Khoi is sprinkling holy water on him and Joe is holding a wooden cross.

 

Joe: hahaha… of course… not… we have to make sure you aren’t an evil dragon anymore.

 

Khoi: heehee… sigh… yeah…

 

Cuong: Dude… seriously… I wasn’t possessed! I just accidentally drank some of that radioactive waste stuff at school the other day! I thought it was cool-aid… I don’t remember anything after that…

 

Khoi: YEAH! YEAH! Likely story… but we don’t believe it… do we Joe?

 

Joe: Not a bit… by the way Khoi… where’d you get the holy water…? There’s no place around here that has it.

 

Khoi: Oh… well I figured that I’m catholic… so basically… water from me is “holy water.” So I took a trip to the rest room and…

 

Cuong: …

 

Joe: …

 

Cuong: I THOUGHT THAT SMELLED WEIRD! LEMME GO! LEMME GO!

 

Joe and Khoi finally return Cuong to his parents… after they were sued for kidnapping and spraying urine on a minor. They were released in just an hour thanks to Khoi’s “connection” in the police department.

 

Cuong: Sigh… finally home sweet home…

 

Cuong’s mom: WHERE WERE YOU?! ::sniffs:: OMG! WHAT IS THAT SMELL?!

 

Cuong: It’s the smell of freedom mom… the smell of freedom…

 

Cuong’s mom smacks him.

 

Cuong’s mom: TAKE A SHOWER! YOU HOBO!

 

Cuong: Okay… okay… just after I look at my cards… I haven’t been able to enjoy them for a while…

 

Cuong goes to his deck box and opens it up… All of the cards are cut up and colored with sharpies…

 

Cuong: Wah… what… what… ::screams like a girl:: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

 

Cuong’s mom: ::from the living room:: And your breath stinks too! Go brush your teeth!!! You hobo!

 

Outside Khoi’s house.

 

Khoi: Sigh… finally back home…

 

Jason: we should’ve gone clubbing… it was a waste of a night… watching you spray your piss on your short friend.

 

Khoi: really? It really turned me on… ::puts his key into his lock::

 

Khoi is about to open the door when he sees a girl walking in the middle of the street.

 

Khoi: Hey! Look! It’s a hot girl!

 

The girl stops in one of the car lanes… a truck is rushing towards her.

 

Jason: WHAT’S SHE DOING?!

 

Khoi: DAMN!

 

Khoi runs toward her.

 

To be continued.

N.O.D.A.T.S.S.T.U.P.I.D.

4th installment: Tears

Well then… it’s the fourth chapter in this saga…

Khoi: HOW’D CUONG EVOLVE FROM CUONGMANDER TO CHARIZARD?!

Yup…

 

Girl: ::thinking:: Life… ::looks at the moving cars:: is not worth it… It’s not worth the pain… ::walks into the street:: Freedom… that’s what I want… I want to be free from this life… ::faces an oncoming truck:: Like a bird.

 

Khoi: GET OUTTA THE WAY! SToOPID! ::Khoi pushes the girl outta the way:: ::looks at the oncoming car:: I really didn’t think this through… ::concentrates:: Must call… for help… ::makes that gay noise he and Jon always makes:: NUNUNUNUNUNUNUNUNUNUNU!

 

At barnes…

 

Jon: I sense… that Khoi’s in danger… I must do something… ::closes off his mental connection with Khoi:: That’s better…

 

Back at the road.

 

Khoi: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

 

Truck Driver: WHAT IN THE WORLD!

 

The truck driver swerves out of the way and misses Khoi.

 

Khoi: Phew… ::looks down… his pants are all wet:: Uh oh…

 

The girl is looking at Khoi in shock… she’s still lying on the ground.

 

Khoi: Umm… you didn’t see that…

 

Girl: ::still in shock::

 

Khoi: Umm… Please don’t tell anyone how I live… ::runs away::

 

The girl gets up…

 

Girl: ::thinking:: He can fly… like… a bird…

 

The next day at school..

 

Jon: There was a suicidal girl near your house?

 

Khoi: yup! And I saved her! How does it feel to be in the presence of greatness?

 

Khoi puts Jon’s hand on some girl’s butt who’s next to them.

 

Khoi: So! How does it feel?

 

The girl turns around with a throbbing vein on her forehead.

 

Khoi: ::points to Jon:: Jon! HOW COULD YOU?!

 

Jon: :[pic]: WHAT?! WHAT?! NO! IT WASN’T ME! ::his hand is still on her butt:: umm…

 

Ten seconds later…

 

Joe: WTF!!! WTF!!! WTF!!! WHEN I DO IT! I GET POOL STICKS UP MY ASS! I GET PUNCHED! I GET BEAT UP! I GET MY OWN HAND STUCK UP MY BUTT! BUT NOOOO!!! JAPKID! THIS IS WHAT JAPKID GETS!

 

Girl: Hmm… you have a nice firm grip… I like you!

 

Jon: Uhh… Khoi… what do I say now?

 

Khoi: Say “you have pretty good boobs… but nowhere near my mom’s”

 

Jon: You have pretty good boobs, but nowhere near my mom’s…

 

Joe is salivating and rubbing his hands in the background anticipating that Jon will get his ass kicked.

 

Girl: hahahaha! You’re funny! ::goes up next to Khoi:: So… you’re his friend right? ::starts to rub Khoi’s chest::

 

Khoi: Uhh… should I feel violated?…

 

Joe: oh… great… Khoi’s attracted another girl… and she was using Jon to get to him… GAYNESS! GAYNESS! GAYNESS! DAMN STUPID FIRE POWERS! USELESS! I’M A CIRCUS MONKEY!

 

Khoi: Umm… Joe… this girl won’t keep her hands off me…

 

Joe: ::in a corner sobbing quietly::

 

Khoi: Umm… Joe? Okay… calm down Khoi… what did we learn in Women’s self defense class? Oh yeah! HELP! HELP ME! PERVERT! PERVERT! I DON’T KNOW YOU!!! ::throws Jon into the girl and runs away::

 

Jon: ::tears in eyes:: this is the closest to a girl I’ll ever get…

 

Later… in Mr. Kim’s room…

 

Leo: Come on Seiji… for me?

 

Seiji: No Leo, I already have a girlfriend…

 

Leo: COME ON! I NEED YOU TO GO OUT WITH SOMEONE! SHE’S REALLY HOT! AND HORNY!

 

Seiji: I already have a girlfriend… her name is Kaoru423Z7Z… she’s a level fifty... she’s so pretty… especially when she’s killing a king behemoth… that’s my type of woman…

 

Leo: SEIJI! COME ON! Chris! Do you want to go out with a girl?

 

Chris: No, I can’t…

 

Leo: DAMMIT! What’s wrong with you people?!

 

Charles: I’ll go out with her!

 

Leo: CHARLES! THIS IS NO TIME FOR JOKES!

 

Joe: Umm… so why do you need someone to go out with her?

 

Leo: Because… her sister won’t go out with me unless I get a date for her friend!

 

Sophack: Leo… I don’t think she’ll go out with you even if you get a date for her friend.

 

Leo: Uhh… haha… ha?

 

Seiji: ::staring at Mr. Kim’s computer:: …I must play… must play… must play…

 

Khoi: ::kicks seiji in the nuts:: who did that? ::looks around idiotically::

 

Cuong: …weird…

 

Charles: ::getting annoyed:: DAMMIT JOE! GIVE ME WINGS!

 

Leo: Uhh… Charles? Who are you talking to?

 

Charles: uhh… no one?

 

Suddenly… a girl walks in…

 

Khoi: HEY! IT’S THE SUICIDAL GIRL!

 

Anne: I’m not… ::double takes on Khoi:: ::thinking:: What’s going on? My heart’s beating really fast… and it feels like it just got hotter…

 

Jason: Yo, dumb butt! Your powers affected suicide over there! CAN’T YOU CONTROL IT YET!

 

Khoi: …You CAN CONTROL IT! WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME THAT BEFORE I WENT INTO THAT PET STORE?!

 

Jason: idiot…

 

Mr. Kim: Hi Anne…

 

Joe: So that’s your name… you know I knew I recognized you…

 

Anne: what?!

 

Joe: ::gets down on one knee:: I recognized you from my dreams…

 

Anne: Sorry… not interested…

 

Joe: ::tears in eyes:: ::runs out the door::

 

Khoi: ::gets down on one knee:: I recognized you too!!!

 

Anne: Really?

 

Khoi: YEAH! YOU’RE THE SUICIDAL GIRL!

 

Anne: NO I’M NOT!… uhh… what are you doing?

 

Khoi: ::looking up skirt while on one knee:: Uhh… investigating?

 

Jon: Investigating what? ::Jon looks up the skirt:: I don’t see anything…

 

Ten seconds later…

 

Jon: GET IT OFF ME! ::there’s a rabid mongoose on Jon’s face::

 

Khoi: …so… uhh… mongoose eh?… you’re creative…

 

The mongoose is covering Jon’s eyes and he runs into a wall, knocking himself unconscious… Ru comes out of nowhere, looks around, and drags Jon’s unconscious body away.

 

Ru: Awight! I’m goin get laid!

 

Cuong: …let us never speak of this again…

 

Joe: Indeed…

 

Charles: …I don’t get it…

 

Anne leaves…

 

Khoi: Hmm… I should follow her!!! WHEE! I CAN FLY! ::jumps out Mr. Kim’s window::

 

Mr. Kim: ::grabs head:: AHH! MY WINDOW! ::Grabs Charles by the collar:: CHARLES! WHY DIDN’T YOU LOOK AFTER MY STUFF?!

 

Charles: Uhh… please don’t hurt me…

 

Joe: …why does Khoi keep on doing that?

 

Later, at 7 P.M….Anne enters her home, a shabby one bedroom apartment with chipped paint on the walls. There are old yellow spots on the carpet, and a smelly man in his boxers lying on the couch with a beer in his hand.

 

Anne’s dad: Where were you? ::watching Wheel of Fortune::

 

Anne: I missed my bus… so I walked…

 

Anne’s dad: …DON’T FUCK WITH ME!!

 

Anne’s dad gets up and chucks the empty beer bottle against the wall, shattering it.

 

Anne’s dad: YOU JUST DON’T WANT TO COME HOME! YOU WANT TO STAY OUT AND SLEEP WITH MEN! YOU WHORE! BITCH! YOU’RE JUST LIKE YOUR MOTHER! A FUCKING RETARD!

 

Anne begins to clean up the glass. Her dad walks over and slaps her on the back of the head, knocking her down.

 

Anne’s dad: DON’T CLEAN THAT UP! Why don’t you study anymore?! HUH?! YOU THINK YOU’RE A FUCKING GENIUS?! ::turns over a nearby table:: Fuck… ::the table’s broken:: Look what you made me do… this is all your fault. THIS IS ALL YOUR FUCKING FAULT! ::stomps on the table breaking more of it::

 

Anne buries her face into her knees and clasps her hands around them. There are whimpering noises coming from her body.

 

Anne’s dad: Don’t move! YOU STAY THERE! STAY THERE! UNTIL I GET BACK!

 

Anne’s dad walks out of the house, his legs all wobbly. Anne is still whimpering in the corner… whispering to herself.

 

Anne: ::rocking back and forth:: It’s okay… it’s okay… it’s okay…

 

An hour later, at school. Joe is lying down upon the school gym looking up at the sky.

 

Joe: Sheesh… this is annoying… my new house is the roof of the school gym… great…

 

Joe turns his head and notices someone else on the roof with him.

 

Joe: Hey! Who are you?

 

Anne: … ::silent::

 

Anne is standing at the edge of the roof… about to jump… Joe gets up.

 

Joe: Hey, what are you doing here?

 

Anne turns, Joe can see tears in her eyes reflected by the moonlight.

 

Joe: …what’s wrong? Your parents kick you out of the house too?

 

Anne turns her head and jumps off the roof.

 

Joe: WAIT! ::rushes toward her and jumps off after her::

 

Anne begins to think as she falls…

 

Anne: ::thinking:: This is the only way… the only way… to be free…

 

Joe: ::thinking as he falls:: Shit! I’m not going to make it!

 

Khoi comes out of nowhere, slides, and catches Anne. Joe falls to the ground, twitches, and stops moving.

 

Joe: ::crying:: Why? Why? Why always at my home?

 

Jason: Are you all right?

 

Joe: I’m fine… I’m wearing five layers of clothes… it’s freaking cold out here…

 

Jason: I wasn’t talking to you dumbass… Are you alright?

 

Anne: ::looks up at Jason’s face with teary eyes:: No… no… I’m not.

 

Thirty minutes later, Jason and Anne are at Denny’s, having coffee…

 

Khoi: DANG IT! ORDER A HONEYBUN!

 

Jason: They don’t serve any here! ::punches head:: Anyways… go on Anne…

 

Anne: Well… I used to live in a nice apartment… but… my mom left my home… I understand though…

 

Jason: I don’t get it… why would you understand your mom leaving?

 

Anne: My mom never wanted to have me.

 

Jason: …

 

Anne: when my mom and dad were going out… my dad drugged her and raped her… She became pregnant with me. My mom’s parents were Asian and according to their customs, she had to marry my dad. Her parents couldn’t bear the shame of having a granddaughter in a unwed couple… even if my mom was raped. She married my dad… and when I was five… I remember asking her that question.

 

Anne remember back when she was five. Her mom is knitting something.

 

Anne: ::at five years:: Mommy… when did you and daddy fall in love?

 

Anne: ::in the present:: She didn’t answer me… She smiled… and looked at me… I thought a happy story would follow, but there were only tears. She was crying while smiling… She never answered my question.

 

Anne: ::at five years:: Mommy? Mommy?! ::her mom stabbed her hand with a knitting needle:: MOMMY! YOU’RE BLEEDING! MOM!

 

Jason: so after that… your mom left?

 

Anne: yeah… she left…

 

Anne remembers another time when she was dressed in all black.

 

Anne: ::six years old:: ::sniffling:: Mommy… mommy…

 

People are whispering in the background.

 

Voice #1: I heard… that she’s a child of a rapist…

 

Voice #2: ay yah… no wonder she killed herself… who would want a child like that?

 

Voice #3: I don’t know what she was thinking… no self respecting woman would ever let herself get taken advantage like that.

 

Voice #2: I agree…

 

Anne: My dad… broke down after that. He had been normal so far… only getting mad at me when I got bad grades… but now… he… beat me for the heck of it.

 

Anne: ::at seven:: DADDY! WHAT DID I DO?!

 

Anne’s dad: SHUT UP! YOU’RE JUST LIKE YOUR MOTHER! ARE YOU GOING TO LEAVE ME TOO?!

 

Anne: ::scoffs:: Of course… that’s my life… isn’t it great?! ::laughs::

 

Jason: I say that the problem isn’t only your dad… I say that the problem is also you…

 

Khoi: Yup Yup… wait… what?

 

Jason: You never defended yourself? Why don’t you try fighting back? Call the cops! Do something!

 

Anne: But… no matter what he does… ::looks thoughtfully into her mug of coffee:: He’s still my father…

 

Jason stands up slamming his fists on the table.

 

Jason: BULLSHIT! YOU CRY AND CRY! BUT YOU NEVER HELP YOURSELF! I FOLLOWED YOU TO YOUR HOME AND I SAW WHAT HAPPENED! YOU DIDN’T EVEN TALK BACK TO YOUR FATHER! I CAN’T STAND COWARDS LIKE YOU!

 

Anne: What? But…

 

Jason gets up and leaves…

 

Khoi: JASON! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

 

Anne: Wait… I thought you were going to help me… ::coming out after Jason::

 

Jason: ::stops:: Cowards… like you… don’t need help… if you’re brave enough to try and kill yourself… try to be brave enough to live and fight back. ::leaves::

 

Khoi: Jason… go back! I order you to go back!

 

Jason: Why don’t you shut up?! If I get you a honeybun, you’ll be happy right?

 

Khoi: SHUT UP! GO BACK!

 

Jason: Hey, I’m the smarter one… so shut up…

 

Khoi is silenced… Anne stands alone in front of the Denny’s, her head faced down.

 

Jason: She’ll regret if for the rest of her life… if she doesn’t fight back.

 

The next day at school…

 

Joe: So, what happened with that girl yesterday?

 

Khoi: I don’t want to talk about it…

 

Joe: What? She reject your proposal? HAHAHA!

 

Khoi: ::silence::

 

Joe and Khoi are in Mr. Kim’s room. The phone rings and Mr. Kim answers it in the background.

 

Joe: So, what happened?

 

Khoi: Jason… left her… and told her to defend herself.

 

Joe: what? Why?

 

Khoi: …

 

Leo: Why are you all serious today Khoi? Do you want a fruit roll-up?

 

Khoi: No…

 

Mr. Kim walks up to the group of guys.

 

Mr. Kim: Hey Charles, watch my stuff.

 

Charles: Okay.

 

Joe: Where are you going Mr. Kim?

 

Mr. Kim: …I have to go to the office… My student aid Anne… was beaten to death at her home yesterday…

 

Khoi: ::wide eyed::

 

Joe: …what? No way…

 

Mr. Kim: The people who live in the apartment above them heard her yelling at her father… and then they heard nothing… Her dad knocked her in the head with a baseball bat and then continued to beat her while she was unconscious… until she died.

 

Everyone is silenced. Khoi gets up and leaves… Joe follows.

 

Joe: KHOI! WAIT UP! HEY!

 

Khoi: ::stops:: It’s all his fault…

 

Joe: Who? Her dad? Dude… some people are just like that.

 

Khoi: No… ::turns around with tears in his eyes:: It’s Jason’s fault… all of it… it’s all his fault…… It’s all my fault.

 

Later on at four, school is out, mostly everybody has left… but Khoi is in the boy’s bathroom… sitting and thinking…

 

Khoi: Jason… she would be alive now if it wasn’t for you… why… why didn’t you listen to me?

 

Jason: This world isn’t perfect… what would’ve happened if we had helped?

 

Khoi: What do you mean?

 

Jason: She still had a deeply rooted respect for her dad… He beat it into her… She still has the fear of him even in death… if we attacked him… the police would’ve come and arrested us.

 

Khoi: HOW?! WE WOULD BE THE GOOD GUYS!

 

Jason: He has no criminal record… Nobody actually knew about her getting beaten. Her mother, the only other witness, committed suicide… And most importantly… her deeply rooted fear would never allow her to say anything to the police.

 

Khoi: Well, WHAT IF SHE DID?! WHAT IF SHE SAID SOMETHING TO THE POLICE?! THESE ARE NOT FOOLPROOF! YOU COULD’VE BEEN WRONG!

 

Jason: ha… you idiot… if he got arrested… he’d be released eventually… but she wouldn’t… she’d go to some foster home and would always have that fear of him. She would never have another peaceful moment in her life.

 

Khoi: It’s better… it’s better than dying.

 

Joe enters the restroom.

 

Joe: Dude, there you are… what are you doing in my bathroom? I mean… please don’t tell people how I live…

 

Khoi: Shut up…

 

Joe: Hey… ::sits down:: I know what Jason did was pretty fucked… but I think… it might’ve been the right thing to do…

 

Khoi: Great… you’re taking his side too…

 

Joe: No, I’m taking Anne’s side. ::pulls out a letter from his pocket:: Mr. Kim asked me to give this to you… it was a letter… to you from Anne.

 

Khoi: …Is it a sexy letter?

 

Joe: dude… you’re talking about a dead girl. Anyways, read it.

 

Dear Khoi… umm… Jason… uhh… Mr. Ho,

 

This is Anne… This maybe my final message after the actions I will take tonight. I think I will take your advice and try to defend myself. I can’t be scared anymore, I will put a stop to all this now. I knew that I wanted to be free, but I had no idea how to get free. My answer to freedom was originally death, but a death taken in grief is not a way to freedom.

 

Once I thought about it, I realized that I was making all the mistakes my mother made. Trusting the goodness of my father, listening to her parents, and being sad for a long period of time. For my mother’s memory, I could not make the same mistakes.

 

Today, I am writing you to say, I will show you my strength. Because even if I don’t live on, I will have no regrets… and that is true freedom.

Sincerely,

Anne.

 

P.S. Honeybuns are bad for you… they go straight to your thighs…

 

Joe: …so… maybe you’ll think about forgiving Jason?

 

Khoi: Sure… I will… after one more thing…

 

Joe: What?

 

Khoi: ::nuttaps himself:: TAKE THAT JASON! OW!

 

Jason: …idiot…

 

Joe: Well… I guess you’re back to yourself now… sigh… NOW GET OUT OF MY BATHROOM!

 

Meanwhile, at a mysterious dark office…

 

Mysterious Boss guy: All of my agents have failed to bring back project Super Suave and project Integrated Dynamite. You three will have to do it… bring back Project SS and Project ID, kill them if you have to.

 

Three mysterious figures are in the dark office.

 

Project RF: Understood.

 

Project SSE: Okay…

 

Project CN: Well… if we’re going to do this… we might as well make it interesting. ::smiles:: Let me go first…

 

Project RF: What? This is a priority mission for N.O.D.A.T.S.S.T.U.P.I.D. … we can’t just “make it interesting.”

 

Project CN: Oh… and I suppose you’ll be able to get close enough to SS and ID to take them?

 

Project SSE: Hmm… I think CN is right… if he goes… he can take care of them secretly…

 

Project RF: Fine… you will go… but… CN…

 

Project CN: What?

 

Project RF: Creating that bloodhound Martha… was very very risky… He killed several other norms… Don’t make another one of him… Make someone a bit more… in control.

 

Project CN: Don’t worry… I already have my targets… and the perfect beast to create… and Martha did his job… He found ID and SS… now it’s time for us to finish the job.

 

Project RF: So… who’s your target?

 

Project SSE: yeah! Who?! Come on! Tell us!

 

Project CN: nope… that’s my… secret…

 

To be continued… probably will be much more funnier than this one.

Now... should I give Charles a power?... nah... I'll just give him the power to fight salsa cups...

4th installment: Weirdoes...

A guy with blue hair stands in front of Seiji’s house… He’s in his twenties and has blue eyes… He is wearing normal clothes: Jeans, white shirt, Jacket… but his hand is also glowing blue.

 

Project CN: Well then… let’s let the chaos begin.

 

An hour later, he stands in front of Leo’s house… His hand is glowing red now…

 

Project CN: ::begins to draw a picture in the air with his glowing hand:: Seal barrier… Chaos Necromancer commands you! SHIFT EARTH TO HEAVEN! SEAL OF THE ANCIENTS! ::slams down his hand on the street in front of Leo’s house::

 

Another hour later, he stands in front of Charles’ house.

 

Necro: Hmm… well then… ::talks into a earpiece he has on him:: Project Chaos Necromancer a.k.a. Necro is done… all targets… infected.

 

The next day at school…

 

Seiji: Man… all the water at my house tasted like cool-aid…

 

Charles: Me too…

Leo comes rushing in.

 

Leo: ::excitedly:: GUYS! MY WATER HAD TURNED INTO COOL-AID! IT’S A SIGN FROM GOD! I LOVE COOL-AID!

 

Seiji: …

 

Charles: …

 

Joe: What’s up guys? ::walking in Mr. Kim’s room::

 

Leo: Joe! MY WATER TURNED INTO COOLAID!

 

Joe: uhh… ::backs away slowly:: Yeah, Leo… that’s what happens when you pour that powdery stuff in.

 

Leo: huh?

 

Charles: I think something’s wrong with our water supply.

 

Khoi: Okay… HONK HONK! ::grabs Charles’ chest::

 

Charles: Wtf?… ::looks strangely at Khoi::

 

Khoi: hahhahahaha… uhh… I love you?

 

Joe: okay… that was weird…

 

Seiji: Yeah…

 

Later on in class…

 

Seiji: ::twitch::

 

Sophack: Yo fool, why are you twitching?

 

Seiji: I don’t know… ::twitch:: I’m just doing it.

 

Sophack: yeah, whatever fool, probably all that final fantasy.

 

Seiji: But, I must play… ::twitch::

 

Teacher: Seiji… is there something wrong?

 

Seiji: No. ::twitch:: Nothing’s wrong. ::twitch:: ::suddenly stands up:: EXCEPT WITH YOUR FACE!

 

Sophack: …Damn!

 

Teacher: ::gasp:: SEIJI!

 

Seiji: ::sits back down:: What?… what’d I do? ::twitch::

 

In Leo’s class…

 

Leo: Ooooh… yeah… that hits the spot… right there… that’s it… that’s it…

 

Leo’s classmates: ::stare with wide eyes::

 

Leo is humping their pet goat.

 

Leo: Yes! Yes! Yes!

 

Goat: ::in distress:: MEEEEHHHHH!!!

 

Teacher: Class… please don’t tell your parents about this…

 

In Charles’ class…

 

Charles: ::shaking in his table, smiling widely, holding onto the edge of the desk, body kinda scrunched up:: IMPERIAL?!

 

The girl who sits next to Charles backs away… Charles points at her and starts to yell.

 

Charles: SHUT UP! SHUT UP! WHY WON’T YOU SHUT UP?! OH MY GOD! SHUT UP! EEEEEEHHHHH!!!

 

Girl: uhh… ::raises hand:: Teacher? Can I move…?

 

Teacher: Charles… are you high?

 

Charles: DAMN! Oh my god! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! WHY WON’T YOU SHUT UP?!

 

On top of the gym roof, Project RF and Project CN speak.

 

Project RF: Uhh… Necro? What’d you do to them?

 

Project CN: Well… I decided to create a little chaos… after all, Joule… I am Necro the Chaos necromancer…

 

Joule: Just remember Necro, if you can’t get ID and SS… I’ll have to step in…

 

Necro: I know… I know… just worry about your own ass… Mr. Red Flame…

 

Joule: Fine… ::Joule leaves::

 

Back in Seiji’s class…

 

Sophack: Uhh… Seiji… you’re not looking really well…

 

Seiji: ::he’s all pale:: Ugh… I don’t feel good… ::coughs on Sophack::

 

Sophack: UGH! DUDE!

 

In Leo’s class…

 

Goat: meeeh… meehh…

 

Leo: Oh that was the shit! ::smoking a cigar::

 

Teacher: Leo… get outta my class…

 

The goat sneezes on the teacher.

 

Teacher: EEWWW!!! GET IT OFF ME!

 

In Charles’ class…

 

Charles: Happy birthday! Happy birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY BIATCH!

 

Teacher: It’s not even my birthday…

 

People around Charles start to cough…

 

Charles: WHY ARE YOU COUGHING?! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! WHY WON’T YOU SHUT UP!!!

 

Back on the roof of the school gym.

 

Necro: So… the fun begins… haha… HAHAHA! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

Joe: Uhhh… who are you? And what are you doing in my home?

 

Necro: ::sweat drop:: Uhh… I’m the roof… manager… thingy…

 

Joe: Oh… good…

 

Necro: Wait a minute! Who are you?!

 

Joe: Well… uhh… I’m the… umm… I’m Mr. Dragos…

 

Necro: okay then…

 

Joe: Fine…

 

Joe and Necro both back away slowly and both run away…

 

Joe: I WAS KIDDING! I DON’T LIVE HERE!!!

 

Necro: I WAS JUST CHECKING THE STABILITY OF THE ROOF!

 

Later on, Joe and Khoi are walking out of Auto Class.

 

Joe: Dude… do you think you overdid it?

 

Khoi: No… ::is holding ten honeybuns::

 

The whole school is in shambles… there’s bonfires everywhere… everyone is acting strange… Joe and Khoi walk by without notice.

 

Khoi: Damn freshman…

 

Joe: Yeah…

 

Suddenly Charles comes outta nowhere…

 

Charles: ::one eye’s bigger than the other, he points at Khoi:: SHUT UP! SHUT UP! WHY WON’T YOU SHUT UP?!

 

Khoi: Outta my way fatty! ::kicks Charles in the nuts:: I GOT EATING TO DO!

 

Charles falls and doubles over with pain.

 

Khoi: Geez, what was up with him?

 

Joe: Pff… I don’t know… drugs?

 

Joe and Khoi pass by a tree… Leo is humping it…

 

Leo: YES! YES! YES!

 

Khoi: Dammit Leo, get a room!… and a girlfriend!

 

Joe: …damn Leo… that’s sick…

 

Joe and Khoi pass by other students and teachers doing really weird things…

 

Joe: Dude… is there a gas leak around here or something?

 

Seiji pops out of nowhere with a steel bat.

 

Seiji: OMNISLASH ATTACK! ::hits Khoi with the bat:: 10 damage!

 

Khoi: ow! What the fuck SEIJI?!

 

Seiji is standing still…

 

Joe: …

 

Khoi: …

 

Seiji: …

 

Joe: …

 

Khoi: …

 

Seiji: …

 

Joe: Umm…

 

Khoi: uhh…

 

Seiji: ATB meter full! Second attack! OMNISLASH!

 

Joe: Seiji just takes this final fantasy thing too far…

 

Khoi: Yeah… ::makes a grunting noise and kicks Seiji in the nuts::

 

Seiji: AHHH!!! 1000 DAMAGE! GAME OVER! ::doubles over with pain::

 

Joe: …damn… we seriously got to get him off that game…

 

Khoi: Yeah… ::kicks seiji in the balls again::

 

Later, Joe and Khoi are in Mr. Kim’s room. Mr. Kim is gone and a bunch of the windows are broken. A guy outside is breathing hard on one of the only windows left… Joe and Khoi are staring at him while eating honeybuns…

 

Joe: So… what’s with this guy?

 

Khoi: Iono…

 

Joe: umm… should I do something about him?

 

Khoi: Okay…

 

Joe walks out of the room and goes up to the guy.

 

Joe: Umm… we’ve been staring at you for about an hour… is lunch extended today or something?

 

The guy turns around and starts breathing on Joe’s face.

 

Joe: OH GOD! BRUSH YOUR TEETH MAN!

 

The guy jumps on Joe and starts to attack him.

 

Joe: WHAT THE HELL! KHOI! HELP!

 

Khoi is staring at them from inside Mr. Kim’s classroom.

 

Khoi: Hello… I got some more important things to do… ::chomps down into another honeybun::

 

Joe socks the guy in the face, knees him in the stomach, and spins, smacking the back of the guy’s head with his fist.

 

Joe: ::gasping for breath:: ::walks back into Mr. Kim’s room:: Dammit Khoi… what were you doing?

 

Khoi: Uhh… ::shifts eyes:: I had an appointment… with… uhh… Kevin! ::points to the corner… Kevin is there smiling and eating a whole mess of chili fries::

 

Joe: AHHHH! :[pic]: DUDE! HOW LONG HAS HE BEEN THERE?!

 

Khoi: Ever since we came in?

 

Joe: WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME?!

 

Khoi: Gosh… you didn’t ask… stupid…

 

Joe: …whatever… uhh… ::walking slowly towards Kevin:: Uhh… Kevin… Hi… what you eating there?

 

Kevin jumps on his pile of chili cheese fries…

 

Kevin: IT’S MINE! BITCH! I WON’T LET YOU HAVE ANY!

 

Joe and Khoi have their mouths wide open in surprise…

 

Joe: Kevin…

 

Khoi: just…

 

Joe: screamed…

 

Khoi: sexily…

 

Joe: yeah… WHAT? NO!

 

Kevin starts to eat again…

 

Joe: Something weird is going on…

 

Khoi: Really? I don’t notice anything…

 

Joe: It’s as if… everybody is showing their true selves…

 

Khoi: really?

 

Joe: There’s only one explanation… MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKERS!

 

Khoi: Damn them! ALWAYS RUINING EVERYBODY’S LIVES!!

 

Later, Joe and Khoi are in the library.

 

Joe: We must do research… ::looks around… all the “smart” Asians are studying like crazy::

 

Khoi: Geez… someone put these guys on overdrive… Oh well… time to turn them off!

 

Khoi starts to kick all of the guys in the balls… all the guys are down… but all the girls are still up…

 

Khoi: hmm…what can I do?

 

Ten seconds later…

 

Khoi: Honk Honk!

 

Girl: STOP IT WE CAN’T STUDY IF WE HAVE OUR FOLDERS AND BOOKS UP TO OUR CHEST ALL THE TIME!

 

Khoi: exactly!!! OooOOOoooh!!

 

Joe is typing stuff onto one of the school computers…

 

Joe: Yes… yes… I see…

 

Khoi: Did you find out anything? ::looks at the computer screen… Joe is reading notes for “The Scarlet Letter”::

 

Joe: I have a test tomorrow…

 

Khoi: Uhh… Joe… everyone’s acting crazy… I don’t think you’ll have that test… ::smacks Joe in the face::

 

Joe: WHAT THE HELL?!

 

Khoi: Uhh… I love you?

 

Joe: …::shudders::

 

Cuong rushes into the library… scared…

 

Cuong: DUDE! RU TRIED TO RAPE ME! EVERYONE’S ACTING FUCKING STRANGE!

 

Khoi: Gasp… ::points:: HE’S SCREAMING NONSENSE! HE’S ONE OF THEM!

 

Joe: GET HIM!

 

Cuong: No wait!

 

Joe and Khoi start beating Cuong with books.

 

Cuong: Ow! You idiots! Stop! Stop! I’m normal!

 

Joe: Prove it!

 

Cuong: Uhh… I love… yu gi oh?

 

Khoi: HE’S ONE OF THEM! ::swings the book hard at Cuong::

 

Cuong ducks, and Khoi accidentally hits Joe in the face.

 

Khoi: Umm… oops?

 

Joe: …

 

Five seconds later…

 

Joe: ::beating Khoi with a shoe:: MY NOSE! MY NOSE! MY BEAUTIFUL NOSE! ARGH!!!

 

Cuong: Uhh… guys…

 

Joe: WHAT?!

 

Cuong: uhh… Seiji has a sword…

 

Seiji is chopping up a chair with a sword in the library.

 

Seiji: 5 EXPERIENCE POINTS! ::looks at Cuong::

 

Cuong: Uhh… why is he looking at me like that?

 

Seiji: A LEVEL FIVE TONBERRY! ::looks at Joe:: A LEVEL 7 CHOCOBO! ::looks at Khoi:: AN UGLY BEHEMOTH!

 

Khoi: HEY! WHAT’S MY LEVEL?!

 

Cuong: Khoi… you take ugly to a new level…

Khoi: oh… good.

 

Seiji charges with his sword… which I have no idea how he got.

 

Seiji: CLIMHAZZARD!

 

Khoi: Do something Joe!!!

 

Joe: umm… umm… PAUSE!

 

Seiji stops in his charging position.

 

Joe: Umm… turn off?

 

Seiji falls and falls asleep…

 

Khoi: now… HUMP YOURSELF!

 

Joe: …Khoi… I don’t think… ::looks at Seiji with wide eyes::

 

Cuong: …Well… I’ll be damned… ::staring at Seiji with wide eyes::

 

Khoi: It worked! ::licking lips::

 

Joe: ::shudders::

 

Later on… Cuong, Khoi, and Joe are walking… Leo is humping the staircase now…

 

Leo: ohhhh yes… You’re the best I ever had baby… ::kisses staircase::

 

Joe: Dude… this is sick…

 

Cuong: I know…

 

Khoi: ::taking pictures of Leo humping the staircase:: Oh yeah! Work it! Work it for the camera!

 

Joe: KHOI! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

 

Khoi: Umm… ::shifts eyes:: Filming Leo humping the staircase?

 

Joe: WELL STOP!

 

Suddenly, they hear a scream…

 

Joe: What was that?

 

Khoi: HEY LOOK! IT’S A HOT GIRL!

 

The girl is beating the shit out of a bunch of freshman…

 

Girl: What’s wrong with all of you?!

 

Joe and Khoi come and start beating the freshman with books…

 

Joe: are you okay?

 

Girl: Yeah… thanks… I’m Venus Aphrodite… Thanks for your help… these guys are acting screwy…

 

Joe: I know… something’s up…

 

Venus: Yup… ::swings back hair::

 

Joe, Khoi, and Cuong stare with sparkling eyes…

 

Joe: you’re…

 

Cuong: very…

 

Khoi: pretty… but not as much as me…

 

Venus: Uhh… thanks…

 

On one of the school building roofs… Necro is watching the group with a pair of binoculars.

 

Necro: Wtf?… what is she doing here? She’ll ruin everything! Project SSE… what are you thinking?

 

Back with the group…

 

Joe: So… are you seeing anybody?

 

Venus: FOR THE LAST TIME! NO!

 

Khoi: …so… are you really seeing nobody?

 

Venus: Uhh… yes…

 

Cuong: So… you’re telling us that you’re not no longer not seeing nobody?

 

Venus: uhh… yes…

 

Cuong, Joe, and Khoi get sad…

 

Cuong: So… she is seeing somebody…

 

Joe: Damn…

 

Khoi: awwww….

 

Venus: I’M NOT SEEING ANYBODY!

 

Khoi: good!

 

Jason: Yo, dumbface, something’s wrong… ever since we met this hot chick… I’ve been trying to use my powers to seduce her… but it’s not working… it’s almost like her hotness is canceling out my hotness… and you have to be really hot to do something as hot as that….

 

Khoi: Uhh… who cares? She’s hot!

 

Venus: Uhh… who are you talking to?

 

Khoi: umm… I love you?

 

Venus: …well that’s a little forward… don’t you think you should wait before saying something like that? Don’t you think you should know me a little better? Geez, we didn’t even go on a date yet, what gives you the right to say that? Do you think you’re super suave or something? How could you say that when everybody around us is going crazy? HUH? HUH?

 

Khoi: ::sad in a corner, sniffling:: I just… wanted…to… do… you… was that so wrong?

 

Joe: Damn… I like her even more…

 

Cuong: Actually… she kinda scares me now… ::hearts still in eyes:: BUT I STILL LOVE HER!

 

Venus: Losers…

 

Back on the roof of the school… Necro’s earpiece activates…

 

Joule: ::over the earpiece:: Hey… I sent over Ecstasy… have her lead ID and SS to our men with her Super Sexy powers…

 

Necro: I don’t need Project Super Sexy… I can handle this on my own!

 

Joule: No… you already did your part… the people of this school are already under your “Contagious Carrier Spell” and will not remember anything from the past 24 hours… they’ll never remember seeing a girl leading out two students from the school…

 

Necro: My plan was to take them out during that 24 hours and then bring them in…

 

Joule: You really think that you could take them out by yourself? You can’t… over and out.

 

Joule cuts off the connection…

 

Necro: Dammit… Joule… I’ll show you…

 

Later, Charles is struggling with a salsa packet…

 

Charles: ::trying to open it:: I CAN’T OPEN IT! ::throws the salsa cup on the ground and points at it:: SHUT UP! SHUT UP! WHY WON’T YOU SHUT UP!!!!

 

Salsa cup: …

 

Charles: ::sighs:: good thing, you’re a figment of my imagination…

 

Necro appears behind Charles…

 

Necro: I have another job for you… ::hand growing red::

 

Charles: ::still acting crazy:: ?… are you my mommy?

 

Later… Venus is leading Joe, Cuong, and Khoi out of the school…

 

Joe: Umm… where are you taking us?

 

Venus: Shut up and follow me…

 

Joe: ::hearts in eyes:: Okay…

 

Khoi: ::whispers to Cuong:: I think we’re going to get laid…

 

Jason: You idiot… I have a bad feeling about this…

 

Suddenly, Charles blocks the way of them…

 

Khoi: HEY! WE’RE GOING TO GET LAID! GET OUTTA THE WAY PORKY!

 

Charles: … ::strange voice:: Why don’t you get out of the way?

 

All the other students are blocking the way also…

 

Khoi: Umm…

 

Joe: Okay…

 

Venus: ::thinking:: This is… Chaos Necromancer’s puppet spell… and… ::looks at Charles:: That guy has his Chaos seal… this is bad… what is Necro thinking?

 

Cuong: Umm… interesting… Oh well… it can’t be helped… ::points palm at Joe, Khoi, and Venus:: Did you really think you could get rid of me easily…?

 

Venus: ::thinking some more:: Dammit… This guy still has the chaos seal on him… a powerful one at that… two chaos seals… and many more puppet seals… this is really bad…

 

Joe: Hey… Cuong’s speaking strangely again…

 

Cuong: You can’t defeat me that easily… shadow…

 

Cuong suddenly grabs his head…

 

Cuong: get out of my head!!!

 

Khoi: Hmm… it seems he wants something to get out of his head… uhh… perverted thoughts?

 

Cuong starts to split into two…

 

Joe: Whoa… this is trippy…

 

There are now two Cuongs… but one is transparent… Necro is standing on a school building with his glowing hand pointed at Cuong…

 

Necro: You failed me once… there’s no need for you… ::points his hand at Charles::

 

The transparent Cuong goes into Charles…

 

Necro: Kill them… kill them all…

 

Joe: Hey, Cuong… are you okay?

 

Cuong: Yeah… but I feel weird…

 

Venus: ::thinking some more:: A chaos bandit spell? He just removed the chaos seal from Cuong and put it into that other guy… that means… that other guy has two chaos seals… really bad…

 

Venus: Umm… I think we should run…

 

Joe: Maybe we should… but… what would the fun of that be? ::blows flames from his feet to propel himself toward the roof and hits Necro in the face:: You really should learn to hide better…

 

Jason: Yeah… after all… my senses as Jason are ten times better than they are with Khoi’s… ::points at Venus:: I think you should run…

 

Venus: How… did you?

 

Jason: I saw your buddy up there… and told Joe about him… then I told Khoi to fuck off… and took control of his body… I’ve been Jason ever since Charles came here…

 

Venus: Okay then… well then… I guess I can tell you this now… you have no chance of winning…

 

Necro gets up… laughing…

 

Necro: You’re facing me… a guy with two chaos seals… and… Ecstasy…

 

Jason: What? Who the hell’s Ecstasy?

 

Venus begins to transform just as how Khoi transforms into Jason…

 

Ecstasy: I’m Ecstasy… ::she looks the same… but much more sexier::

 

Joe: Damn!!! Too fine!!!

 

Necro: Give it up… you’re outnumbered…

 

Cuong: No, we’re not… I’ll fight Charles…

 

Joe: Uhh… Cuong… you don’t have powers anymore… this fag… ::points at Necro:: took them away…

 

Cuong: No he didn’t… ::creates shadows around himself:: He just took away the dragon part of me… I was able to keep my shadow powers…

 

Necro: :[pic]: I don’t know how you managed to keep those powers… but… no matter… you’ll still die… all of you…

 

Joe: SHUT UP! ::blue flame surrounds his arms::

 

Necro: Bring it… ::his hands start to glow red::

 

Jason and Ecstasy stare each other down…

 

Jason: If we’re going to fight… we’re going to need more space…

 

Jason and Ecstasy jump on the roof and flip over to the quad…

 

Cuong: Didn’t know Khoi could do that…

 

Green dragon wings pop out of Charles’ back.

 

Cuong: Didn’t know Charles could do that…

 

Joe: Heh… still those puppets are a problem…

 

Necro: ::smiles:: No, they’re my weapons… ::points a red hand at Joe:: ATTACK!!

 

A bunch of sunny hills students jump on the roof staring at Joe.

 

Joe: so… the puppet spell makes them stronger also… this will be interesting…

 

In the quad…

 

Jason: I don’t know what fighting styles you use… but… you can’t win! ::makes a crazy 8:: CRAZY 8!!!

 

She stops the crazy eight with one hand.

 

Ecstasy: ::smiles:: Is that all?

 

Jason: :[pic]:

 

Khoi: uhh… we’re screwed.

 

She pushes Jason a little bit away, flips down and starts to spin on her head like a break dancer, kicking the shit outta Jason. She ends it in the lazy position, and flips back up… Jason is knocked down…

 

Jason: Shit… she’s a dance fighter… also… and she’s good.

 

Ecstasy starts spinning her hands around…

 

Jason: No way… that’s!

 

Ecstasy: I’LL SHOW YOU!… THE TRUE WAY TO DO THE CRAZY 8!!!

 

To be continued…

5th installment: Doppleganger

Khoi: Must YOU SHOW US THE TRUE WAY TO DO THE CRAZY 8?! I’m really sensitive…

 

Jason: This is no time for jokes!!!

 

Khoi: Well, sorry…

 

Ecstasy: STOP TALKING TO YOURSELF! ::attacks with her crazy 8::

 

Jason: OH SHIT!

 

Jason gets hit head on in the chest. He seems to be hurt..

 

Ecstasy: ::hands still in Jason’s chest:: Now… you’re… ::surprised look:: Uhh… where are your vital organs?

 

Another Jason is behind Ecstasy with his hands in his pockets and smiling.

 

Jason: What are you attacking?…

 

The Jason that Ecstasy had hit with the crazy 8 is gone.

 

Ecstasy: WTF… ::jumps back to get distance from Jason::

 

Jason: Itz called ghosting…

 

Ecstasy: ::smiles:: Really now…

 

Ecstasy appears behind Jason.

 

Ecstasy: Was this the trick?

 

Jason: :[pic]: uhh… no…

 

Ecstasy strikes with the back of her arm, Jason blocks. Ecstasy ducks and swings her leg to trip Jason, Jason jumps over the leg. Ecstasy propels herself upside down into the air and does another break dance move swinging her legs in a circle, knocking Jason in the face.

 

Jason: ::thrown back by the attack:: …pretty good. ::wipes some blood away from his mouth::

 

Ecstasy: I’m not done yet! Moonwalk attack… ::she starts to moonwalk back and forth::

 

Jason: What kind of attack is… whoa… so many hot girls surrounding me…

 

Ecstasy is moonwalking around Jason creating several images of herself.

 

Ecstasy: I combine my speed with the moonwalk to create the illusion of me having multiple bodies… this is key to my dance fighting style. You’ll never hit me.

 

Jason: Let’s see about that!

 

Jason begins to attack several of the images, he goes through every one of them as if they were holograms.

 

Ecstasy: Getting confused? Then this should confuse you even more.

 

The images all attack Jason.

 

Jason: ::thinking:: Only one of them is real… so I just need to concentrate on where the real attack is coming from…

 

Jason is hit by all the images at once… and it feels like he’s getting hit by multiple people.

 

Jason: ::thinking:: WHAT?! No way! They all feel real!

 

Khoi: …no… if they all felt real… I’d be really happy… ::drooling noise::

 

Meanwhile, Joe is fighting Necro on the school roof.

 

Joe: I don’t know about this… I can’t use my flame on these guys…

 

Necro: Exactly… just give up and die…

 

Joe: …hmm… ::launches himself up by blowing blue flame from his feet:: ::his hand gets surrounded with blue flame:: ::He flips over the students and rushes at Necro:: I THINK IF I JUST TAKE YOU OUT! THE WHOLE ARMY WILL GO DOWN!

 

Necro swings one of his glowing hands and a bunch of students shield his body. Joe stops and shoots out his flames from his feet to flip backwards and slide a little away.

 

Joe: Damn you… you fight dirty…

 

Necro: Well… sue me…

 

Joe: I WILL!

 

Necro: FINE! I HAVE LARRY H. PARKER!

 

Joe: I HAVE… JOHNNY COCHRAN!

 

Necro: …well… I have… YO MAMA!

 

Joe: Well… I have… yo girlfriend!

 

Necro: well… I have! Umm… damn it… this is gay… ATTACK! ::points a glowing hand at Joe::

 

Several students rush at Joe.

 

Joe: Fuck it… ::a huge amount of blue flame surrounds his hand:: FUCK IT ALL! ::punches the roof with his flaming hand… the roof caves in the middle, all the students on the roof at the time fall through it::

 

Meanwhile… Cuong vs. Charles…

 

Cuong: Well then… shall we get started shorty?

 

Charles: …

 

Suddenly!

 

Seiji: FIVE HUNDRED EXPERIENCE POINTS! ::hits Charles on the head with an aluminum bat::

 

Charles and Seiji are in a still position. Blood trickles down Charles’ forehead. Seiji moves back and starts humming the final fantasy victory music.

 

Seiji: dududududududududududududududududududu!

 

Charles: ::falls to the ground unconscious::

 

Cuong: Uhh… thanks Seiji…

 

Seiji: ::stares at Cuong:: I finally found you…

 

Cuong: Oh shit… he’s in STORY MODE!

 

Seiji: ::hugs Cuong as Cuong tries to escape:: I love you… Yuna…

 

Cuong: GODDAMMIT! I’M CUONG!

 

Seiji: Yuna… ::kisses Cuong::

 

Cuong: ::spits out:: HELP! HELP! HELP!

 

Seiji: ::suddenly lets go of Cuong and backs up:: Credit sequence…

 

Directed by Noboru Tokiyawa

Music by Nobuo Uematsu

Cg effect by Tenshi Kotetsu

Map created by Takahashi Senji

Special thanks to…

 

Cuong: …right…

 

Meanwhile… at the front gate of the school… Jon has finally come to school.

 

Jon: Gosh… I’m like five periods late… ::passes by Ru and Leo doing it:: …wha…? ::walks backward to verify what he saw::

 

Leo: Oh yes… oh yes…

 

Ru: Oh yas… oh yas…

 

Jon: …I’m outta here… ::runs away::

 

Back with Jason and Ecstasy…

 

Jason: ::getting the shit beat out of him::

 

Ecstasy: Give up…

 

Jason: Damn… I need to stop all of the images’ attacks at once… but there’s only one way to do it… and I really don’t want to do it… ::starts to pop it::

 

Ecstasy: No matter what dance style you use! It’s useless!!

 

Jason suddenly splits into two Jasons… or did he…

 

Khoi: GASP! I FELL OUT OF JASON! ::grabs onto Jason’s head:: LET ME BACK IN! oooOOOOooooh!!!

 

Jason: Get off me you fool!

 

Khoi: Who said that? ::looks around idiotically::

 

Jason: me!

 

Khoi: ::gasp:: JASON! YOU’RE A REAL BOY NOW! ::pats Jason on the head:: HEY THERE LITTLE BUDDY!

 

Ecstasy just stares with her mouth open wide…

 

Jason: SHUT UP! ::slaps Khoi’s hand away:: I need your help… unfortunately…

 

Khoi: Umm… first… how are we split up? DUDUDUDUDUDUDU!

 

Jason: it’s a side effect of the popping technique… we can create clones of… ::sigh:: you…

 

Khoi: really?! ::starts to pop it… a lot more khoi’s come out::

 

Khoi #1: oooOOOOooooh!

 

Khoi #2: Who said that?!

 

Khoi: I did… urr… you did!

 

Khoi #3: DONG!

 

Khoi #4: SHUT THE HELL UP YOU SONUVABITCH!

 

Khoi #5: Well… ladeedah!

 

Khoi: Nuttap! ::hits Khoi #6 in the nuts::

 

Khoi #6: Ow!

 

Khoi #3: Are we going to get honeybuns?

 

Khoi #1: oooOOOOooooh!

 

Khoi #7: ::smacks Khoi#1:: SHUT UP! I’M TALKING HERE!

 

Khoi #4: ::points at Ecstasy:: GASP! A HOT GIRL!

 

All the khois at once: OoooOOOooooh!

 

Jason: YOU IDIOTS!

 

All the khois at once: WHO SAID THAT?!

 

Jason: me!

 

All the khois at once: OH! We… knew that…

 

Jason: Look… I need your help to stop all of her attacks… think you can do that?

 

All the khois at once: But we’re so sexy… we have to discuss this with our brethren…

 

All the Khois huddle up in a circle… a lot of “ooOOOooohs” and “who said that?”’s and the occasional “Nuttap!” is heard.

 

Khoi: We’ve decided to… go get some honeybuns…

 

Jason: THAT CAN WAIT! HELP ME NOW!

 

Khoi #5: fine… but let us at least get some guy to get our honeybuns for us while we wait…

 

All the khois at once: NUNUNUNUNUNUNUNUNUNUNUNUNUNU!

 

Meanwhile… where Jon is…

 

Jon: AAAHHHHH!!! MIND! OVERLOADING! TOO MANY SIGNALS! AHHHHHH!!!

 

Back to where Khoi and Jason are.

 

Jason: Look… you idiots… the popping technique takes out a lot of energy… we have to take her out in one shot or we’re done for… got it!… HEY! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GUYS DOING?!

 

The khoi’s are dueling.

 

Khoi #7: Shut up! Men are dueling here!

 

All the khois at once: oooOOOooooh!

 

Jason: THERE’S ALSO A TIME LIMIT TO HOW LONG WE CAN STAY SPLIT LIKE THIS!

 

All the khois at once: ::shifting eyes:: Oh… right… we knew that…

 

Jason: Then lets do it! ATTACK!

 

Khoi: hey! ::smacks Jason in the face:: I lead this operation! I’M THE MASTER OF THE SWARM! DUDUDUDUDUDUDU! ::starts to do the Crazy 8::

 

All the other khois: ::start to do the crazy 8:: dudududdudududu!

 

Ecstasy: You fuckers piss me off… YOU UGLY FACED FREAKS! ::makes mirror images of herself again and they all start to do the crazy 8::

 

Jason: Sigh… must I do this? ::starts doing his crazy 8:: du du du? Du du? Du?

 

The images of Ecstasy and the Khoi clones charge at each other.

 

All the khois: DONG!

 

Jason: sigh… “dong…”

 

The Khoi’s end up on the opposite side of where they charged… Ecstasy no longer has mirror images of herself and she’s on the opposite side of where she charged.

 

Ecstasy: Dammit… I can’t believe I got beaten… by you freaks… :: falls to the ground::

 

Khoi #3: VICTORY DANCE! ::all the khois start to do the Rene Dupree dance::

 

Khoi: ALL FOR ONE AND ONE FOR ALL! GIVE ME YOUR HONEYBUNS BEFORE I NUTTAP YOU!

 

All the khois start to fight each other… All the khois except for the original one disappear in a puff of smoke.

 

Khoi: aww… I miss them…

 

Jason: Now… hurry up… let’s get back together!

 

Khoi: GASP! You mean… we broke up?… I thought I meant more to you…

 

Jason: idiot…

 

They fuse back together except in Khoi form.

 

Khoi: hmm… now… what to do? ::looks at Ecstasy on the floor:: hmm… oh well… ::shifts eyes:: Time to go… “honk honk”… ::walks up to Ecstasy::

 

Ecstasy gets up.

 

Khoi: Umm… I wasn’t going to do anything! ::his hands are in the “honk honk” position:: … yeah…

 

Ecstasy: You fag… I’m going to kill you one day…

 

Khoi: oooOOOOoooh!

 

Ecstasy: ::throws a smoke bomb on the ground and she disappears::

 

Khoi: I miss her already…

 

Back with Joe.

 

Joe: Now then… it’s just you and me…

 

Necro: …

 

A bunch of sunny hills students are on the ground… Joe is breathing heavily.

 

Necro: Sigh… you beat all those guys to a pulp… yet… you don’t understand… my power…

 

Joe: Stop talking… ::jumps back onto the roof:: And fight… I’m tired… and today’s the new episode of One Tree Hill…

 

Necro: …right……… ::makes his hands glow red and he puts them on his chest:: CHAOS ARMOR!! ::the debris from the ground piles up on Necro creating very thick and heavy armor::

 

Joe: Well… that’s a unique ability…

 

Necro: hahaha… not even your flame can penetrate this armor… you’ll never win.

 

Joe: Tell me… how heavy is that armor?

 

Necro: Pretty heavy… why?

 

Joe: ::points down to the ground::

 

Necro: ::Looks down:: Oh shit…

 

The ceiling is bending under the weight of the armor.

 

Necro: Damn… not good…

 

Necro falls through the roof and the weight of his armor drags him to the ground hard, breaking a lot of his bones.

 

Joe: Idiot… man… that sux…

 

Joule suddenly arrives on the scene.

 

Joule: Damn… stupid Necro… I think he killed himself maybe….

 

Joe: Umm… who are you?

 

Joule: I am… none of your concern.

 

Joe: Oh good… ::breathes in air:: I thought you were another superpowered guy trying to kill me…

 

Joule: …uhh… I am…

 

Joe: Oh… ::runs away::

 

Joule: …interesting…

 

Joe note: Been a while… well… for those of you who are new to my writing… joe notes are when me, the author Joe, write about something. Well… I’ve just moved to Texas… and from this point on in the story, I will be writing this story… in Texas… Dude… some girls are okay here… but Sunny Hills girls were much better in terms of brains, personality, and looks… no offense to any Texans… The people are so freaking nice that it scares me over here… Anyways… I have 8 freaking classes… 8!!! And the weird thing is… I have no math class… another weird thing… I am starting with 100%’s in all my classes… another weird thing… I’m like considered really smart here… Well… that’s what I wanted to say… btw, thanks to all the people who said goodbye to me… and thanks to Khoi/Jason for his xanga goodbye… and that buffet thing was awesome… Anyways, you fuckers(Khoi, Chris, Sophack, Seiji, Leo, Cuong, Jason, Charles, Kevin) better still do crazy shit like the buffet thing… cause if not… I’m going to come back next year… and I’m going to beat you… IT’S SENIOR YEAR BITCHES! THE LAST YEAR TO MAKE SOME GOOD HIGH SCHOOL MEMORIES! SO HOP TO IT! Also… if someone could buy me a yearbook of SHHS this year and send it to me or something… that’d make me really happy… btw, Leo… I got your pic of that small girl… so… send me money if you want it. Also, someone has to make Seiji go out with the “Fish”… dammit! SOMEONE SET IT UP! Anyways… back to the second half.

 

Joule picks up Necro’s unconscious body and walks off with it.

 

Joule: They’re lucky I have orders to bring you back immediately… or else… They’d get burned. We have a new plan to get those two projects back to us.

 

The next day… a news reporter is at sunny hills interviewing Jon.

 

Interviewer: A gas leak in the school was apparent as many students went mad yesterday, ravaging Sunny Hills… The hills were definitely not sunny yesterday… What happened young man?

 

Jon: FIRST RU AND LEO WERE beeping each other in the beep and I was like what the beep?! And I ran away and then someone sent me hundreds of signals like this! ::starts moving his hands in that annoying way:: NUNNUNUNUNUNU!

 

Interviewer: ……………………………right………………………..

 

Jon: I was scared… horribly, horribly scared… HI MOM!

 

Interviewer: Okay… let’s get another student… YOUNG MAN! ::points to Leo:: What do you remember?

 

Leo: I don’t remember anything… ::rubbing his ass:: But my ass is really sore…

 

Interviewer: Yes… another “side effect”… of the gas… ::points to Joe:: Young man… were you scared?

 

Joe: :[pic]: WHAT?! I KNOW NOTHING! I’M NOT FREAKISHLY GIFTED WITH THE POWER OF BLUE FLAME! LEAVE ME BE!

 

Interviewer: ::gasp:: HE’S STILL INFECTED! GET HIM!

 

Ten doctors pile on Joe and poke him with syringes full of some kinda… sedative…

 

Joe: AHHHHHH!!!

 

Doctor: He’s cured now…

 

Joe emerges from the pile in a daze.

 

Joe: You… you are ver… very… moooooooooooooo… Romi says “Betsy”… hahaha… mooooooo… Have you ever noticed that the lines on your hands… look like strings… strings in your hand… and that when you touch things… they go WOOSH!…

 

Interviewer: Umm… ::smiles back at the camera:: ANOTHER YOUTH SAVED THANKS TO THE… ::looks at the badge on the doctor’s arm:: …South Central Dr. Drug gang?

 

Doctor: Fo shizzle…

 

Interviewer: …what does the government pay you in?

 

Doctor: We got these right hurr!… ::the doctors all smile… they all have gold teeth:: WORD TO THE BLING! YEEEEAAAAHHHH!

 

Interviewer: Okay… George Bush really has taken a lotta money outta the school system… anyways, you there! Young man! What about you?! Were you scared?

 

Sophack: Sure I was… but I mean… once you see Charles naked… nothing really scares you anymore…

 

Interviewer: Uhh… Charles is a boy’s name…

 

Sophack: Yeah… your point?

 

Interviewer: …never mind… let’s talk to some “normal” students now… ::points to a random Fob:: You! Were you scared?

 

Fob: Guh sa dalm duh… ::tears in eyes:: nah mung mung yee muguhsehyoh.

 

Interviewer: Yeah… I don’t speak Canadian… ::points to Leo again:: How did it feel for you, a black student, in this situation?

 

Leo: Umm… I’m Mexican…

 

Interviewer: …no… seriously…

 

Leo: Yeah… I’m serious…

 

Interviewer: …yeah… hahaha… Indeed… ::points to Charles:: What about you? What’s your name?

 

Charles: I’m Charles…

 

Interviewer: Okay! Moving on!

 

Later that day, in class…

 

Joe: Man… I’m so… high still…

 

Sophack: So… your point?

 

Suddenly…

 

Teacher: Okay class… we have a new student today… ::the person walks in:: She’s a transfer student from…

 

Joe: HELL!

 

Teacher: umm… no… she’s from Madagascar… but her name is…

 

Joe: WHAT THE FUCK?!

 

Teacher: No… YOU SHUT THE FUCK UPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!! YOU FUCKING SON OF A BITCH!

 

Joe: ::timidly:: …sorry…

 

Teacher: Her name is Venus Aphrodite… and she will be the new student…

 

Venus: Hi! ::smiles and waves her hand::

 

All the guys drool and bend forward to get a closer look.

 

Joe: NO! SHE’S NOT THAT HOT! SHE’S FUCKING MESSING WITH YOUR MINDS! SHE’S EVIL! DON’T LOOK AT HER! SHE’S EVIL! EVIL!

 

Sophack: Dude… Shut the fuck up… who cares… she’s hot…

 

Joe: SHE’LL KILL US ALL!

 

Some more south central doctors jump on joe.

 

Doctor: HE STILL INFECTED OUT THE HIZZLE!

 

Joe emerges from the pile of doctors.

 

Joe: I feel… heehee… ::rubs sophack’s head:: you look funny… like a big… lollipop…

 

Sophack: what the fuck? Yo… stop touching me…

 

Joe: Okay… YEEEEAAAAHHH!! ::sits down in his chair:: I miss the partridge family… that girl was ubor… heehee… I said “girl”… and I said… wait… whoa… my eyelashes are all… looking at me…

 

Teacher: Venus… take a seat next to… ::looks at the seat next to Seiji:: Seiji!

 

Seiji: You can’t sit here… it’s reserved for XXGAmErXX123! We’re going on a quest to find the golden chocobo…

 

Venus: umm… okay… ::uses her “super sexy” powers on Seiji:: Are you sure I can’t stay there? Please…

 

Seiji: ::there’s a bump in his pants:: …What is happening? ::looks scared:: OH MY GOD! IT’S GETTING BIGGER!

 

Sophack: Umm… Seiji… didn’t you ever take sex ed.?

 

Seiji: …I once took the class of samurai…

 

Sophack: …right…

 

Joe: heehee… I once had a bob… named terrier… he was furry… and he liked to eat dog food… he was weird… I had to tie him up to my spaceship… then he drove away in a ’76 cadillac… I cried for days… but it seemed that he had never left… he was still inside my heart… then I died because the doctor said that terriers are too big to fit in a heart… HAHAHAHAHA! I SAID “BIG!”

 

Sophack: …I’ll ignore that… Man, Seiji… is all you do related to Final Fantasy?

 

Seiji: No, I do other stuff…

 

Sophack: Like what?

 

Seiji: I eat…

 

Sophack: …okay…

 

Teacher: Umm… okay… Venus… sit next to Joe…

 

Joe: hahahaha! Yay! SHE’S GOING TO KILL ME! HURRAY!!

 

Venus sits next to Joe.

 

Joe: just to let you know… I don’t trust you… There’s only one thing in the world I trust… and that’s you! So… you can’t fool me! I’m HIGH!

 

Venus: Right…

 

Sophack: Dude… Joe, you’re obviously scaring her… ::shakes hands with Venus:: Hi, I’m horny… I mean! I’m Sophack!

 

Venus: Hi, I’m Venus...

 

Joe: hahahaha! Venus… rhymes with Penis… ::points at Venus:: DO YOU HAVE A PENIS! BECAUSE I DON’T! AND THE FIRST AMENDMENT SAYS I DON’T NEED ONE TO BE ON EQUAL LEVEL WITH MY ELEPHANT BRETHREN!

 

Teacher: Umm… ::nudges one of the doctors:: What did you inject him with?

 

Doctor: Well, first we went to the Ralphs and bought sum o’ that shit… ya know… Childrens Tylenol… then we went like bum bum bum… and put in some o’ that good ol’ lard… then we mix that for about ::counts on fingers:: Eleventeen minutes… until it gets hot off the heezy!!! Then we add in some ROCKS! AND THEN THE PARTY GETS BUMPING!

 

Teacher: Rocks?

 

Doctor: It’s coke ya cracker! Can’t ya’ all speak anglish! DAMN!

 

Teacher: ::looks at the students:: Did he just call me a cracker?

 

Later at lunch… As Venus walks by, all the guys are staring…

 

Khoi: How is she doing that?!

 

Joe: I know… how’d she get into our school… and what’s she planning?

 

Khoi: Not that! How does she get that attention?! I want that attention! WATCH THIS!

 

Khoi walks in front of a group of guys and drops a napkin.

 

Khoi: Oh… I dropped a napkin… Whatever shall I do… ::bends down in front of the guys:: I hope nobody takes advantage of me while I bend down to pick up my napkin… because I’m very susceptible to be grabbed while I’m bending down!

 

The guy look disgusted and they turn back to look at Venus. Khoi gets up and walks to where they’re looking…

 

Khoi: my, my… it’s so hot today… I think I might have to take off my shirt… ::begins to take off his shirt::

 

Guy #1: Dude! Gross! Ugh… You can have the money! Just leave us alone!

 

Guy #2: Sick…

 

Guy #3: You’re disgusting…

 

The guys throw their wallets at Khoi and they run away.

 

Khoi: …YAY! I GOT MONEY!

 

Joe: …Khoi… That may have been the most disturbing thing… that I have ever witnessed… Never do it again…

 

Khoi: Okay… I can see that you’re jealous… oooOOOoooh! Who said that?

 

Joe: …let’s follow Venus and see what she’s up to…

 

Khoi: …Will we have to raid her underwear drawer?

 

Joe: Unfortunately… we must…

 

Khoi: good… must we put a mini camera in her shower…

 

Joe: It’s for the good of humanity…

 

Khoi: Good… then can we umm… put one in Kevin’s shower?

 

Joe: …hell no…

 

Khoi: Okay…

 

At Charles’ house…

 

Charles: I’m sooo bored… ::watching anime… what else:: I need to do something…

 

Julie: Guy!(sounds like geek… viet name… didn’t quite know how to spell it) I need a ride to Borders!

 

Charles: I have better things to do… ::scratches his balls::

 

Julie: Ugh! ::frustrated groan:: Come on! I really need to go!

 

Charles: No, I’m busy Tao!(other viet name… sounds like cow with a “t” didn’t know how to spell it) I have a life too you know! It’s not all about you! ::still watching anime::

 

Julie: grr… ::leaves the room::

 

Joe note: I finally thought of a power… hee hee… it’s funny and cool at the same time…… actually… it’s not that cool.

 

Charles: I wonder… if it’s time to feed my fishes…

 

Charles digs out some fish food, they disintegrate in his hand…

 

Charles: What the…?

 

A ball of energy is glowing in the palm of his hand…

 

Charles: A ball?… Why is there a ball of energy in my hand?

 

There’s a call from the living room.

 

Julie: CHARLES! STOP TOUCHING YOUR BALLS AND GIVE ME A RIDE TO BORDERS!

 

To be continued… definitely…

6th installment: Elusive Wings

I once wrote a poem called “Elusive Wings” based off of a girl I used to have a crush… I sent it to a poetry contest and it got pretty far… But it didn’t win. They sent me a copy of it back about three months later asking me for permission in publishing it for some book. I never replied, but I read the words and I realized that the words were not meant for the girl I had a crush on but never talked to, but the girl who could make me laugh and make me feel happier than anybody else with just a smile… Strange how things like that work out… meh… new chapter…

 

Charles: I… have… a ball… ::the ball flickers and disappears:: Huh?

 

Julie walks in.

 

Julie: KY! LET’S GO!

 

Charles: ::grabs Julie by the shoulders:: Julie! I HAVE BALLS!

 

Julie: …okay…

 

The next day at school.

 

Leo: Hey, Khoi, where’s Joe?

 

Khoi: I don’t know… Must I tell you everything?!

 

On top of a building somewhere… Joe is playing around with his blue flame.

 

Joe: I have to get better at controlling this… I must create new techniques… ::a sort of rope of blue flame starts to rise up around Joe’s body, but it flickers and dies:: Damn…

 

Joe looks up at the sun.

 

Joe: Last time, I could’ve lost badly… Jason is at a much higher level than me… I have to get stronger… Now… control it… ::Another rope of blue flame begins to twirl itself around Joe’s body::

 

Back at school…

 

Cuong: I’m bored…

 

Charles walks in…

 

Charles: ::looking at his hands:: I… have… balls…

 

Khoi: REALLY?! Let me see!

 

Leo: Me too! I mean… YOU’RE SICK KHOI!

 

Ru: Yah… balls are gud tu yeat, but I lyke to tuch them.

 

Cuong: Uhh… what the fuck did he just say?

 

Chris: ::shrugs:: I need to go to the restroom…

 

Joe note: I haven’t put Chris in this for a while… ever since Ho ki oh…

 

Later that day…

 

Charles: Balls… balls… why do I have balls?

 

A girl sitting in front of Charles looks back at him with a frown.

 

Girl: Uhh… never mind… ::turns back to her original position::

 

Much later that day… in the middle of the quad.

 

Charles: ::looking at his palm:: COME OUT! COME OUT! I ORDER MY BALLS TO COME OUT!

 

Everybody in the quad stares.

 

Student #1: Is this some… performance art piece or something?

 

Principal Dragos comes…

 

Principal Dragos: Okay son… come with me…

 

Charles: ::still looking at his palm:: Have you seen my balls?

 

Principal Dragos: Yes, yes… I’ve seen all your balls…

 

Much later that day in detention.

 

Peter: So… why are you in here?

 

Charles: I tried to show off my balls in the quad…

 

Peter: …uhh… right…

 

Charles: Why are you in here?

 

Peter: …I don’t want to talk about it…

 

Much much later that day…

 

Charles: Why won’t my balls come out?!

 

Joe: Uhh… dude, that’s sick… sicker than hell…

 

Charles: No! NOT THOSE BALLS! THOSE BALLS ARE INSIGNIFICANT!

 

Joe: ……………………okay… how many root beers have you drank today?

 

Charles: None! ::grabs Joe by the collar:: I’M TELLING YOU! I HAVE BALLS! LOTS AND LOTS OF BALLS!

 

Joe: Umm… get off of me when you’re saying that… it’s very disturbing…

 

The next day at school… Leo is asking some girl to homecoming… she’s walking away.

 

Leo: Come on! I promise I have a big one! A BIG ONE!

 

The girl runs away faster.

 

Sophack: Uhh… Leo… I wasn’t serious when I told you to say that.

 

Leo: …I know… ::shifts eyes::

 

Charles is bothering some other girl.

 

Charles: I PROMISE I HAVE BIG BALLS! I’M NOT LYING!

 

The girl runs away faster.

 

Sophack: Damn… you guys are weird.

 

Charles: ::grabs Sophack:: YOU BELIEVE ME DON’T YOU! I HAVE BIG BALLS! YOU BELIEVE ME!

 

Sophack: …don’t touch me…

 

Later… Charles is at home…

 

Charles: ::about to go to sleep:: I know I have balls… I know I do…

 

The next morning… Charles wakes up…

 

Charles: ::yawn:: ::looks up:: WHAT?!

 

A bunch of balls of light are surrounding Charles…

 

Charles: I knew I had balls! I KNEW IT!

 

Later… at school…

 

Khoi: You know… sometimes… I feel that life… is very… dull… then I watch Iron Chef… and everything is happy again.

 

Joe: …right…

 

Charles comes rushing in.

 

Charles: Guys… I can control my balls… ::excited:: I CAN CONTROL THEM!

 

Joe: …

 

Khoi: …

 

Charles: I can make them fly around! I can make them fire off stuff! I can make them EXPLODE!

 

Khoi: ::pats Charles on the head:: Good for you little buddy! I remember when I first exploded… I was ::shifts eyes:: four…

 

Joe: …that’s nasty…

 

Later at Charles’ home… He’s playing around with his “balls” in the backyard.

 

Charles: Shield!

 

The balls go in front of Charles…

 

Charles: ::creates more balls from his hands and throws them at cans he has layed out, they explode:: COOL! ::creates another ball in his hand and calls all the other balls into the one ball in his hand to create a very unstable looking ball::

 

Charles closes his fist around the unstable ball and light is coming out from his fist in the cracks between his fingers. He hits a wall with it and the wall breaks down…

 

Charles: COOL! ::he lets go of his fist, and a beam fires out, almost hitting his feet:: AHHH!!… cool!!!

 

Charles’ dad walks into the backyard.

 

Charles’ dad: AY YAH!

 

There’s a huge hole in the ground from the beam, the wall’s broken down, and there’s a bunch of craters…

 

Charles: Uhh… I didn’t do it…

 

The next day at school…

 

Charles: GUYS! It’s not balls! It’s light! I can control light! It’s just that the light was in the form of balls for some reason…

 

Khoi: SHUT UP! ::kicks Charles in the crotch:: Men are dueling here!

 

Jon: ::points at Charles sprawled out on the floor:: HA! WHO HAS THE BALLS NOW?!

 

Joe: man… this is boring…

 

Somewhere… in another part of the city… a little kid walks into a candy store.

 

Little boy: I’d like all the candy in your store please…

 

Candy store owner: Do you have money?

 

Little boy: Nope…

 

Candy store owner: Then, I’m sorry… I can’t give the candy to you…

 

Little boy: ::smiles:: Okay! ::walks out of the candy store::

 

Candy store owner: Nice little boy… a little weird… but nice nonetheless…

 

The candy store owner suddenly looks sick… He grabs his mouth as if he’s about to barf… his stomach begins to grow drastically. He falls over…

 

Later on, Khoi is about to go into the candy store.

 

Khoi: time to get fat…

 

A cop stops Khoi.

 

Cop: Sorry young… ::stares at Khoi bewildered:: uhh… thing… there’s been an emergency…

 

The candy store owner is being dragged out by paramedics on a stretcher. He looks fine, but is acting crazy.

 

Candy Store owner: NO MORE! NO MORE!

 

Khoi: Umm…

 

Cop: Yeah… there’s nothing wrong with him physically, but he went all crazy…

 

Khoi: uhh… I didn’t do anything… ::shifts eyes::

 

Cop: yeah… I know you didn’t…

 

Khoi: good… ::runs away::

 

Cop: Hmm… very suspicious…

 

Cop #2: Here’s the “evidence” chief… ::takes out doughnut box::

 

Cop: GOOD! ::opens up the doughnut box:: HONEYBUNS! OooOOOooooh!!!

 

Later, at a toy store…

 

Joe: Umm… so… a guy went crazy here?

 

Cop: Yup… unfortunately…

 

Joe: Damn… that means I can’t live here…

 

Cop: yup… wait… what?

 

Joe: Umm… never mind… I didn’t say… anything… ::runs away::

 

Cop: Oh, okay! Bye! ::waves::

 

Khoi is walking along a street somewhere… when a ball hits his foot… the same little boy from the candy store walks up to Khoi.

 

Little boy: Hey mista! You going to give me the ball or what?

 

Khoi: Uhh… who said that?!

 

Little boy: DOWN HERE!

 

Khoi: ::looks down:: Oh… HEY THERE LITTLE GUY!

 

Little boy: ::puts his fingers in his ears:: Don’t scream!

 

Khoi: okay… so… what do you want?

 

Little boy: give me the ball at your feet.

 

Khoi: Gosh… hold your horses… ::bends down and picks up the ball:: There? Are you happy now?

 

Little boy: Yes! Bye mista! Look out for the snake! ::runs off::

 

Khoi: …huh? What snake?

 

Khoi is suddenly surrounded by snakes.

 

Khoi: AHHH!! SNAKES!

 

 

Ten seconds later…

 

Khoi: I love snakes… ::he ate all the snakes:: Good eatin’… yum…

 

Jason: eeeeeewwwwww…. Sick… you even ate the venom!

 

Khoi: Strange… I don’t feel full… or poisoned… dudududududu!

 

Jason: Hey… you’re right… you should be dead by now… hmm… how’d those snakes suddenly appear like that?

 

Khoi: umm… Fed Ex?

 

At Charles’ house…

 

Charles: ::fixing up his backyard:: Dammit…

 

Joe: Yo… ::stares at the backyard:: what happened here?

 

Charles: MY BALLS WENT ON A RAMPAGE!

 

Joe: …I see… ::backs away slowly and runs away::

 

Charles: sigh…

 

Later at the theater… Joe and Charles are there… a little boy is in front of them in line.

 

Little boy: One ticket for yu gi oh the movie!

 

Worker: Okay… that’ll be $6.50…

 

Little boy: Ummm… I don’t have money…

 

Joe: Geez, this is going to take a while…

 

Charles: What are you talking about? Hurry up and get your ticket!

 

Joe: …hello… there’s a little boy in front of us.

 

Charles: What little boy? ::looks around::

 

Joe: ::points at the little boy:: RIGHT THERE!

 

Charles: There’s no little boy…

 

Joe: …uhh… Charles… do you need your eyes checked?

 

Charles: I’m serious! There’s no little boy!

 

Joe: …you need stronger lenses…

 

Charles: Look! ::waves his hands in front of him, he smacks the little boy to the ground::

 

Little boy: Ow!

 

Joe: DUDE! You hit the kid to the ground!

 

Worker: SIR! THAT’S RUDE!

Charles: What? What’d I do? I didn’t feel anything!

 

Joe: ::points at the little boy:: He’s right there!

 

Charles: Dude… the only thing there is… NOTHING!

 

Little boy: ::looks scared at Charles:: ::runs away::

 

Joe: Great… you made him run away…

 

Charles: Dude… I still don’t see anything…

 

Back with Khoi… he’s with Jon…

 

Khoi: And then I ate the snakes…

 

Jon: …okay… right… sure…

 

Khoi: SHUT UP! ::nuttaps Jon::

 

Jon: AY Yah! ::doubles over in pain::

 

Khoi: Hmm… strange… I wonder if that little boy had something to do with the snakes…

 

Jason: ::sarcastically:: nooooo… duh… you faggot…

 

Khoi: Hey! That’s not nice! One of these days Jason… one of these days…

 

Jon: uhh… who are you talking to?

 

Khoi: umm… ::shifts eyes:: I love you?

 

Jon: …

 

Khoi: okay! I love PARTS of you!

 

Jon: …okay…

 

Khoi: …yeah… ::drools:: Imagine Cuong’s face on your body… ::makes drooling noise::

 

Jon: …………I’m not sure whether to be flattered or disturbed… definitely disturbed.

 

Jon begins to back away… he trips and falls into a ditch…

 

Jon: Ow!

 

Khoi: Are you okay?

 

Jon: Yeah…

 

Khoi: I wasn’t asking you, I was asking the ditch… stOopid

 

Jon: …I thought you loved me… ::tear::

 

Khoi: I specifically said I love PARTS of you… and those parts seem to be okay…… now take off your pants so I can verify it!!! DO IT! ::shakes fist::

 

Jon: …uhh… AHHH!!…

 

Khoi: Geez, all I said was to take your pants off…

 

Jon: Not that! There’s a body in here…

 

Khoi: …is it a sexy body?

 

Jon: No! It’s scary! Come down here!

 

Khoi: Uhh… are you going to molest me? Because I think I have a girlfriend…

 

Jon: No!

 

Khoi: Okay then! I CAN FLY! ::jumps into the ditch::

 

Khoi lands on a dead body.

 

Khoi: AHHHH! I’ll fly to safety! ::makes useless flapping motion::

 

Jon pulls Khoi off…

 

Jon: See… dead body… oooooooh… ::makes wavy motions with his hands::

 

Khoi: I see… ::kicks the dead body in the nuts::

 

Jon: Uhh… why’d you do that?

 

Khoi: Just making sure… and it’s fun! ::kicks the nuts again::

 

Jon: …right… hey! He has a wallet! ::gets a wallet off the floor and looks at it:: His name was… umm… California… State… License…

 

Khoi: Psh! Stupid! Give me that! ::snatches the wallet:: It says here… that his name is… DMV… HAHAHAHAHA! HE MUST BE THE BROTHER OF DMX!

 

Jon: hmm… yeah… poor DMV… he must’ve fallen and couldn’t get up… like Humpty Dumpty…

 

Khoi: You know… Cuong looks like Humpty Dumpty…

 

Jon: …yeah… you’re right…

 

Suddenly, the little boy appears…

 

Little boy: What are you two doing here? ::floating::

 

Jon: Uhh… Khoi… why is the spooky little kid floating?

 

Khoi: I don’t know…

 

Jon: Umm… do something…

 

Khoi: Okay… get down here now young man… or no dessert for you!

 

Little boy: Get away from my home… now!

 

Jon: …he lives here? Must be a hobo…

 

Khoi: Ooooh… is this dead guy your dinner?! CAN WE EAT TOO?!

 

Jon: What?! I want none of this… DMV… sounds evil…

 

Little boy: If you two won’t get out… I’ll make you get out…

 

A bunch of monster looking things appear…

 

Jon: ::screams like a girl:: ::jumps into Khoi’s arms::

 

Khoi: umm… ::drops Jon::

 

Jon: Sorry… ::brushes dust off of himself::

 

Khoi: Why are you scared of them? They’re not as ugly as Leo…

 

Jon: …you know… now that you mention it… you’re right…

 

Monster #1: Git owt…

 

Khoi and Jon: …

 

Monster #1: …wot? Wot iz eet yoo gois?

 

Khoi and Jon: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Jon: They talk like RU!

 

.Monster #1 looks sad and confused…

 

Little boy: FINE! If this won’t make you get out…

 

Khoi and Jon get surrounded by big screen tvs…

 

Little boy: I’ll make you watch… EVERY SINGLE EPISODE OF POKEMON EVER MADE!

 

Khoi: …umm… even Johto?

 

Little boy: Especially Johto… MUAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

Khoi: …

 

Jon: …

 

Khoi and Jon: YAY!

 

Little boy: ::taken aback:: Let’s see you say YAY AFTER FIVE HUNDRED EPISODES!

 

Two hours later…

 

Little boy: …

 

Khoi: I wanna be the VERY!

 

Jon: BEST!

 

Khoi: THAT NO ONE EVER WAS!

 

Five hours later…

 

Khoi: BORN TO BE A WINNER!

 

Jon: BORN TO BE THE VERY BEST!

 

Khoi: Pokemon!

 

Jon: JOHTO!

 

Twenty hours later…

 

Khoi: GO TREECKO!!!

 

Khoi and Jon: TACKLE ATTACK!

 

Little boy: I don’t understand it… Dennis Rodman turned gay after five seconds…

 

Khoi: ::matter of factly:: You can’t turn what’s already been turned!

 

Jon: huh?

 

Khoi: Umm… I have a girlfriend!

 

Little boy: ENOUGH! ::the televisions disappear:: TRY THIS!

 

Khoi is suddenly strapped onto a weird machine.

 

Khoi: How kinky…

 

Little boy: So… you like honeybuns do you? WELL HAVE ALL THE HONEY BUNS IN THE WORLD! ::pushes a lever:: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

 

The machine is forcing Khoi to eat honeybuns…

 

Khoi: ::munching noises::

 

Five hours later…

 

Khoi: ::is extremely bloated… eats some more honeybuns:: More… ::eats some more:: more…

 

Little boy: He… ate… all the honeybuns… ::checks up on Jon:: That guy has been kicked in the balls five hundred times and is still not in extreme pain… WHO ARE THESE FREAKS?!

 

Jon: Well… after being kicked in the balls so many times by Khoi… It’s like I don’t have any balls… ::looks inside his pants:: …Correction… I don’t have any balls…

 

Khoi: …no more honeybuns? BUT IT’S ALL YOU CAN EAT! ALL YOU CAN EAT!

 

Little boy: I NEVER SAID THAT IT WAS ALL YOU CAN EAT! Dammit… this is turning into a huge rehash of simpsons jokes and ball kicking jokes…

 

Khoi: Welcome to the world of the virus…

 

Little boy: I know what’ll make you leave!

 

Jon’s mom pops outta nowhere…

 

Jon’s mom: PRACTICE VIOLIN NOW! OR NO EAT DINNER!

 

Joe note: I have no idea if she talks like this… so no offense Jon… just my sick imagination at work.

 

Jon’s mom: You no practice violin? You think I no know what you do in Barnes? You go to hit on guys! I know what do!

 

Jon: Huh? But I don’t!

 

Jon’s mom: Yeahhhh… right… You lazy… ::thinks:: laser!

 

Jon: That doesn’t make any sense!

 

Jon’s mom: Ooooh…. You think you “vocab masta” now? Well, why not get 1600 on SAT? You know why? Because you stupid! Stupid no practice violin!

 

Jon: …but I practice every day! LOOK AT MY VIOLIN SCAR!

 

Jon’s mom: That no violin scar! That probably hicky! From gay guy over here! ::points at Khoi::

 

Khoi: umm… who said that?

 

Jon’s mom: You shut up! Nobody point at you! You go get girlfriend! Leave my son alone!… faggot!

 

Joe note: I’m pretty sure Jon’s mom would never say that… but it’s my story… so what the fuck…

 

Khoi: …I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND!

 

Jon’s mom: Oh yeah? What name?

 

Khoi: Umm… Jon…

 

Jon’s mom: …you no good for nothing… you become hobo! Hobo who lose daughter to pimp! I know this way!

 

Jon: sounds familiar…

 

Khoi: yeah, it does… oh wellz… dududdudududu!

 

Jon’s mom: No “dududududududu!” you a doo doo! Go get job lazy bum!

 

Khoi: Work?! Uhh… Jon…

 

Jon: yeah?

 

Khoi: run…

 

Khoi and Jon run away being chased by Jon’s mom.

 

Jon’s mom: Come back here! Oh you get so beaten!

 

Khoi and Jon run away faster.

 

Jon’s mom: NO ME JUST KID! ME NO HURT YOU! DO NOT MAKE ME HAVE TAKE OFF MY BELT!

 

Khoi and Jon escape from the ditch…

 

Khoi: ::breathing heavily:: that was scary…

 

Jon: yeah… hey… ::Looks around:: We were in there for a while… but…

 

Khoi: ::looks at his watch:: You’re right… it’s the same time as when we first went into the ditch…

 

Jon: How… ::shifts eyes:: mysterious…

 

Jon and Khoi close their faces in together…

 

Jon and Khoi: Dun Dun dun!

 

Suddenly Joe arrives…

 

Joe: hey… what are you guys doing here?

 

Jon: We don’t know…

 

Jon and Khoi: DUN DUN DUN!

 

Joe: …indeed…

 

Jason: Hey, dependant! Let’s go to the library…

 

Khoi: Uhh… why? Are we going to use the computer to find the addresses of celebrities?

 

Jon: Huh? Who are you talking to?

 

Khoi: SHUT UP! ::kicks Jon in the nuts::

 

Jason: I think I know what’s going on… but I’m not sure yet… We need to…

 

Cory: ::in “uncle” voice:: RESEARCH! AY YAH! ::runs off::

 

Joe: …that was odd…

 

Later on at the library…

 

Khoi: Umm… what am I looking for?

 

Jason: I think that the little boy is an astral projection…

 

Khoi: …You mean he came out of someone’s ass?

 

Jason: No! I mean someone goes to sleep and then the little boy gets released… but the projection is known to not be physical. However, the little boy seems to be very real… and I can’t explain all those illusions he can do…

 

Joe: Khoi… I think I got someone who can tell us what’s going on! ::brings out Cuong::

 

Cuong: Dammit… I only have one part in this chapter… and the rest of the time people are calling me “humpty dumpty!”

 

Joe: Okay, Cuong… tell us your theory.

 

Cuong: Okay… this ::rolls eyes:: “DMV” guy… I think is astral projecting…

 

Jason: dammit… I do all the work and this ugly guy gets the credit…

 

Cuong: But, he’s doing it subconsciously… ::pulls out a newspaper article:: It says here that a guy was in a car accident and his body disappeared near the ditch you and Jon were in…

 

Khoi: Uhh… okay…

 

Cuong: ::pulls out a cigar and starts to smoke it:: My theory is… ::coughs like crazy::

 

Joe: uhh… Cuong… you don’t smoke… do you?

 

Cuong: Sorry… I just wanted to look intellectual… Anyways… ::pulls out a lollipop and starts to suck it:: My theory is that this guy got knocked unconscious and fell into the ditch… He subconsciously sent out an astral ghost of himself in his child form… Everybody here knows the phrase “inner child” right?

 

Joe: Uhh… yeah…

 

Khoi: ::shifts eyes:: I know what it is… ::whispers to Joe:: what is it?

 

Cuong: Anyways… his “inner child” got released and started to do everything it wanted to do… eat candy… play ball… watch cartoons…

 

Joe: uhh… yeah… that doesn’t explain how the little boy is making people crazy…

 

Cuong: Yeah, the little boy also seems to be able to put illusions on people….

 

Joe: Hmm… and he’s also probably doing that subconsciously… when the candy store manager refused him candy… the little boy probably thought something like “the candy store guy probably doesn’t want to share his candy because he wants it all to himself.” Then the candy store guy saw himself exploding with candy…

 

Cuong: exactly… but not quite that simple… The little boy can only make others see illusions when he is highly emotional… with the candy guy, he felt scorn… when Khoi saw the snakes… He felt annoyed by Khoi… and Khoi and Jon were threatening the little boy’s true body… so that’s how he created multiple illusions…… DAMN I’M GOOD! ::sucks even faster on his lollipop::

 

Khoi: Umm… I get it… ::shifts eyes:: I think…

 

Joe: But that little boy is dangerous… We should put a stop to this…

 

Cuong: yeah… but you two better be careful… He’s probably going to be much more harsher with his illusions now…

 

Khoi: Umm… aren’t you coming?

 

Cuong: ::looks Khoi up and down:: Hell no… I’m not going to die…

 

Joe: uhh… ::gulps:: Die?

 

Cuong: Don’t worry… I’m pretty sure the little boy will make you see horrible horrible images before he kills you…

 

Joe: …

 

Khoi: Gee, thanks…

 

Cuong: Oh yeah… one more thing… treat the illusions as if they’re real… because judging from his previous victims… your mind will make the pain real… so dodge bullets when illusions fire them…

 

Khoi: Sounds like the matrix… I’ll be trinity! ::points at Joe:: You can be Smith.

 

Joe: …whatever.

 

Joe and Khoi are at the ditch…

 

Joe: You first…

 

Khoi: No you first…

 

Joe: No you first…

 

Khoi: you first…

 

Joe: No I insist…

 

Khoi: Nah, ladies first…

 

Joe: that means you Khoi…

 

Khoi: I’d still rather not go…

 

Joe: …wait… how are we going to stop the little boy again?

 

Joe: …

 

Khoi: …

 

Joe: Oh yeah… we just need to wake up that guy…

 

Khoi: I don’t know… I kicked him in the nuts pretty hard last time… and he still didn’t wake up…

 

Joe: Well… we’ll just have to kick harder then…

 

Joe and Khoi go into the ditch…

 

Charles: Where are they going?

 

Charles was driving by when Joe and Khoi went into the ditch. Charles stops in front of the ditch and parks…

 

Charles: They better not be watching any anime without me!!! ::looks at the dark ditch:: Umm… I’ll just wait for them to come out…

 

In the ditch… it’s really really dark…

 

Khoi: Oh little boy… come out and play!

 

Joe: …dude… you sound like a pedophile…

 

Khoi: Yeah… “sound like” ::shifts eyes::

 

Joe: Anyways, let’s light this place up… ::ignites some of his blue flame on three of his fingers::

 

They see the body of DMV…

 

Joe: Okay… let’s wake him up…

 

Khoi: okay… how?

 

Joe: Well… smack him in the face.

 

Khoi: smack!

 

Slaps DMV… DMV doesn’t wake up…

 

Joe: hmm… that’s a tricky one…

 

Khoi: Ooh! I once read a story where a prince kissed the princess and the princess woke up!

 

Joe: Sleeping Beauty? Snow white?

 

Khoi: No… it wasn’t a Disney movie… she woke up and they started to do it…

 

Joe: …you’re sick…

 

The little boy suddenly appears…

 

Little boy: I told you guys to go away… now… I really do have to make you go away…

 

Joe: Try it… ya midget…

 

Khoi: yeah!… umm… shorty?

 

Off in the distance…

 

Cuong: STOP COPYING ME!… AND “MIDGET” IS REALLLY DEGRADING!

 

Khoi: Now then… will you go into your body? Or will we have to force you in?… that also sounds like a movie I saw before… it had girls in it!

 

Joe: You’re sick… really really sick…

 

Little boy: I don’t wanna grow up…

 

Joe: TOO BAD! THIS ISN’T NEVERLAND! EVEN THOUGHT THIS GUY’S A FAIRY! ::points to Khoi::

 

Khoi: Yeah!… right! ::shifts eyes::

 

Little boy: You can’t win…

 

Out of the darkness, two figures appear…

 

Little boy: Face… kill these two… Go! Flame Swordsman! Dark Magician!

 

Joe: Please… :: puts his palm perpendicular to his body in front of his heart:: I’ll show you a new trick Khoi… you can tell Jason that he doesn’t have to come out…

 

Jason: What? Too late…

 

Joe: Damn… well… let me handle these two… ::Joe’s hand ignites on fire… and blue flame fires out of it, trailing around Joe’s body:: I’ll show you my new technique, the ryuusei…

 

A long dragon made out of blue fire is now circling Joe’s body, roaring. Nothing on Joe’s body is on fire… but the Dragon is not disappearing…

 

Jason: Damn… that’s cool… I bet you can get ladies with that…

 

Joe: It took me a while to learn this… might as well test it out… ::puts out his arm, the flame dragon surrounds it:: Watch this… ::smiles, puts his hand in the head of the dragon and runs toward the duel monsters::

 

Joe has his hand out in a position that makes it resemble a open mouth, and the dragon is mimicking it with its mouth open. The body of the dragon is no longer surrounding Joe, but is trailing alongside his arm. Joe’s hand is in the dragon’s head, leading it on.

 

Joe: NEW TECHNIQUE! RYUUSEI! SHOOTING STAR! ::stabs the Dark Magician with it::

 

The Dragon’s whole body rushes into the Dark Magician and the Dark Magician explodes in blue flame.

 

Little boy: No! FLAME SWORDSMAN! ATTACK!

 

Joe points his hand at the Flame swordsman, another blue dragon shoots out and hits the swordsman, blowing it up.

 

Joe: Did I mention that I can fire dragons also? Not as powerful as the Ryuusei… but still… very useful…

 

Jason: That was cool… you can make multiple dragons… your flame has evolved…

 

Joe: uhh… yeah…

 

Khoi: …why can’t you do that Jason?

 

Jason: …shut up…

 

Little boy: Interesting… but I will not give up!

 

A giant Barney appears… the size of a real tyrannosaurus Rex.

 

Barney: Hyuck! I love you! So much that I’m gonna eat ya!

 

Joe: Holy crap…

Jason: Shit!

 

Khoi: yay! It’s barney!

 

Joe: ::fires off another dragon at Barney, it doesn’t phase him:: …we’re in trouble…

 

Jason: yeah… here… let’s do this! ::makes a crazy eight:: COMBO ATTACK!

 

Joe: Right! ::fires a dragon into the crazy eight::

 

Flames spew out from the crazy eight like a flamethrower, hitting Barney…

 

Barney: Ah! You should play nice…

 

Barney melts away…

 

Jason: The crazy eight can blow wind… or if I want it to be a close range shot, it can create a vacuum in the air… either way… I can beat anything…

 

Joe: …damn bastard… taking all the credit…

 

Jason: ::pulls out a rose:: I fight for love…

 

Joe: ::tear:: so… beautiful…

 

Little boy: Enough… it’s time for you guys to leave here… permanently…

 

Joe: Bring it on… old school! I think… uhh… what?

 

Jason: Shut up and attack the little boy! ::flips over and tries to drop kick the little boy::

 

The little boy dodges by floating higher. Joe fires a dragon at him, the little boy floats lower to dodge it. Jason spins and slides himself, grabbing onto his shirt’s sleeve with his finger and thumb(dance move) and tries to tackle the little boy. The little boy dodges. By floating backwards.

 

Jason: Try this! ::strobes after the little boy, reappearing and disappearing (extreme version of a dance)::

 

Jason punches the little boy in the face.

 

Jason: I got you! You little brat!

 

The little boy grabs Jason’s wrist, turns it sharply, and flips Jason hard onto his back.

 

Little boy: You should play nice…

 

Joe: He’s that buff? Dammit…

 

Jason: DAMN!

 

Jason spins his legs to trip up the little boy, but the little boy floats higher to avoid it.

 

Jason: I’m not done yet! ::propels himself into the air with his arms and lands his foot on the boy’s chin:: How bout that! Punk!

 

The little boy grabs Jason’s leg and flings him onto the ground.

 

Jason: what the hell! I’m getting the shit kicked outta me by a little kid!

 

Joe: Hey… he’s an astral projection… How is he touching you?

 

Khoi: hey… Jason… I think it’s time to do our special thing!

 

Jason: Yup…

 

Joe: uhh… you’re not answering my question…

 

Jason: Don’t worry… I won’t lose… ::puts on his headphones, turns on some music:: I’m going into super rave mode…

 

Jason rushes at the little kid and flips over him. He pops behind him and splits… He starts to dash around the little boy at a high speed… He’s going so fast that it seems that there’re four Jasons… He slides on his forehead at the little boy and lands both of his legs onto the little boy shoulders… He twists his legs, grabbing the little boy by the neck and slams him into the ground. Jason flips back onto his feet and pops a fist into the little boy. He then strobes back.

 

Jason: I know he felt that…

 

Joe: So… you learned how to string your attacks together… by using… music?

 

Jason: yup! I had to hit a lot of clubs though… which was cool… I got my game on playa…

 

Joe: …right… that sounds strange coming from someone who looks like Khoi…

 

The little boy gets back up, unharmed…

 

Little boy: You can’t hurt me… not like that… I am an illusion made up of light… You can’t hurt light… That is why I can touch you though… I am no ordinary illusion… the light makes me physical…

 

Joe: :[pic]: Uhh… How? How’d you get this way?

 

Little boy: That’s my business… but I’ll share it… When I was little… I had no childhood… I couldn’t do anything I wanted to do… My mother and father made me stay at home… no television, no birthday parties, not even any toys… They believed that I should act grown up… so… I want to live my childhood out now…

 

Joe: ::laughs:: hahahaha! How stupid…

 

Little boy: What?

 

Joe: Life…unfortunately… doesn’t work that way… No matter how much you want life to stay the same… Life has to change… ::remembers Pacific Drive Elementary School:: Nobody wants to grow old… but… it’s something you cannot change.

 

Khoi: ::changed back from Jason:: Yeah… ::remembers Buena Park Junior High:: No matter… what you want… life moves on… We can understand it better than anyone else… because…

 

Joe and Khoi: ::remembering freshman, sophomore, and junior years at Sunny Hills:: We’re seniors…

 

This moment brought to you by unplanned parenting and lots of television.

 

Little boy: …I don’t accept that fact of life… I don’t…

 

Joe: It’s time to open your eyes… The Joe Ho combination is unbeatable… when we’re together… we can even beat things that aren’t real… like you.

 

Khoi: Yup… ::turns back into Jason::

 

Jason: Because… we’ve been together long enough… to work very well together… ::remembers biology and the weird… lobster thing::

 

Little boy: …Come on then… bring it…

 

Charles pops in.

 

Charles: So then… you guys also have powers… Dammit… I wanted to be special.

 

Joe: Huh? Charles?

 

Charles: Yah… it’s me.

 

Jason: What’s he doing here?

 

Charles: I can’t see this little kid you’re fighting… but I’ve been watching you for a while… and I think that since I can control light… the little boy is invisible to me… his illusions don’t work.

 

 

Joe: Uhh… ::shifts eyes:: right…

 

Charles: You know… I’ve known you since elementary school Joe… I’m surprised you didn’t tell me about your power.

 

Joe: Well… it’s not like I wanted to keep it from you… Wait… actually it is…

 

Little boy: ::looks at Charles:: The guy who can’t see me…

 

Charles: ::his hand is glowing with light:: I think it’s time… to release those who can’t grow up. ::remembers elementary school:: This hand of mine is glowing bright, it’s burning cry tells me to defeat you, SHINING FINGER!

 

Charles swings his hand at the little boy. The little boy begins to disintegrate upon being hit.

 

Little boy: Being grown up huh?… guess it isn’t that bad… I just wanted to feel that happiness, one last time… ::disappears::

 

Joe: He’s gone…

 

Jason: DMV’s gone also…

 

Joe and Jason look at Charles.

 

Joe: …I wonder where he’s going…

 

Charles: Aren’t you going to ask me about my powers?

 

Jason: Yeah… I wonder where he’s going…

 

At a house somewhere… there’s a woman on a porch… She rises up with wide eyes… DMV is walking up to her.

 

DMV: I’m back…

 

Woman: …Bill…

 

They hug…

 

DMV: I think I finally understand… what growing up really is…

 

Woman: What are you talking about?

 

DMV: Nothing…

 

In the Sunny Hills Quad… Joe, Cuong, Khoi, and Cuong are together…

 

Joe: Strange… this whole incident just opened my eyes… All of us… are about to leave…

 

Cuong: Yeah…

 

Khoi: …Well… not really… when you think about it…

 

Charles: Aren’t you guys going to ask me about my powers?

 

Khoi: We all have bonds here… no matter what… We’ll always be tied together… and nobody cares about Charles...

 

Joe nods… Khoi walks toward the back entrance, Cuong and Charles walk toward the front entrance, and Joe stays behind in the quad.

 

Joe: …I met Seiji, Leo, Charles, Gian, Cuong… in elementary school… met Khoi during high school… became friends with Cuong during Junior high… met Sophack during high school… met Jon here… met a lotta people here…

 

A feather gets blown at Joe’s feet. Joe picks it up.

 

Joe: I wonder… where we go from here… ::lets go of the feather::

 

The feather flies off as Joe walks off the school grounds… his hands in his pockets…

 

Joe: Man… Sunny Hills… you’ve been really good to me…

 

To be continued…

well... another chapter... of ballkicking randomness...

7th installment: Flame

Khoi: You see… when you wrap a honey bun with a fruit by the foot… it is no longer a honey bun, it’s a “Honey bun with a fruit by the foot wrapped around it” aka the “Ho special.”

 

Joe: …Do I give a shit?

 

Joe and Khoi are sitting on a park bench.

 

Khoi: My dream is to create the ultimate honeybun… the ONE honeybun to rule them all!

 

Joe: …what?

 

Khoi: the one honey bun… to RULE THEM ALL!

 

Joe: …yeah… and how will you do that?

 

Khoi: Umm… first… I get a honeybun…and wrap it with a… ::shifts eyes:: fruit by the foot?

 

Joe: Umm… isn’t that the “Ho Special?”

 

Khoi: …oh yeah… I knew that… ::shifts eyes::

 

Joe: Sigh… man… school’s been a pain lately… I mean… seriously…

 

Khoi: Huh?

 

One day before…

 

Joe: I know what you’re trying to do! AND I’M NOT FALLING FOR IT!

 

Venus: …I’m just reading a book…

 

They’re in English class…

 

Joe: You can’t catch me off guard… I’m like a cat… I have the reflexes of a tiger! ::slips on a pen and crashes through a desk::

 

Sophack: uhh… yeah…

 

In math class…

 

Joe: WHY ARE YOU HERE?! STOP BEING IN MY CLASSES!

 

Venus: ::smiles:: Whatever are you talking about… I’m just a new student…

 

Seiji: …so much screaming… must drown it out with Final Fantasy later…

 

At lunch…

 

Joe: Stop following me!

 

Venus: Whatever are you talking about? ::she’s following Joe around everywhere::

 

Back in the present…

 

Joe: She won’t leave me alone…

 

Khoi: Sigh… for the only time in your life… a girl IS following you around…

 

Joe: …shut up.

 

Khoi: Anyways… where are you living now? Hooters? I love hooters… ::drools:: So many breasts…

 

Joe: …

 

Khoi: What? Is it wrong to like chicken? Geez…

 

Joe: Man… lame… lame… lame…

 

The next day at school.

 

Leo: Joe… why’s that hot chick following you around everywhere?

 

Joe: I don’t know…

 

Leo: Well… how do you do it? Did you blackmail her or something? Do you have her dog?

 

Joe: …no…

 

Charles: So… this hot girl… she has “sexy powers?”

 

Leo: …huh?

 

Khoi: Shut up! ::kicks Leo in the nuts::

 

Joe note: Dude… this is getting soooo repetitive… let me try to do something without the nut kicking joke…

 

Khoi: Shut up! ::kicks Leo in the nuts::

 

Joe note: Then again… why mess with a winning combination?

 

Leo: ack! The pain! ::doubles over::

 

Jon: I know why this girl is following around Joe!

 

Joe: :[pic]: WHAT?! YOU KNOW!

 

Jon: Yup… you’re using AXE DEODORANT! I KNEW IT! ::gets out two cans of Axe deodorant and starts to spray himself with them:: HAHAHAHAHA! NOW I’LL ATTRACT GIRLS TOO!… ::grabs skin:: IT BURNS!!!

 

Joe: …

 

Khoi: …he smells weird… ::points to Jon:: so… weird…

 

Chris: He kind of smells like that homeless old man I ran over for fun…

 

Cuong: yeah… wait… what?

 

Chris: Umm… fruit loops?

 

Cuong: …oh… okay…

 

Khoi: …Is there a point to this story yet?… nope…

 

In Spanish Class… it’s a Salsa day! YAY!

 

Joe: See… she’s even in my freaking Spanish class! See there Cuong! See!

 

Cuong: Uh… Joe… I’m in the same class as you…

 

Joe: shhhh… she can hear us…

 

Venus: Umm… I’m right next to you…

 

Joe: …that’s what I want you to think…

 

Señor Reyes: Okay… partner up everyone!

 

Every guy rushes to Venus…

 

Guy #1: DANCE with me!

 

Guy #2: FUCK HIM! DANCE WITH ME!… NO WAIT! DON’T FUCK HIM!

 

Guy #3: DANCE WITH ME! I HAVE CANDY!

 

Guy #1: HE’S LYING! ALL HE HAS ARE GUSHERS!

 

Guy #4: I HAVE MONEY! DO YOU LIKE MONEY?!

 

Guy #2: COOOOMMMEEE ONNNN!!! I HAVE CANCER! I ONLY HAVE ONE MORE DAY TO LIVE!

 

Joe: ::jumps on top of Cuong:: FOOLS!

 

Cuong: Damn, you’re heavy.

 

Joe: YOU THINK SHE’S NICE AND STUFF! BUT REALLY SHE’S A DEVIL! SHE’S THE EVILEST… EVIL!… THAT EVER WAS… EVIL! DON’T TRUST HER! SHE’LL DO STUFF WITH YOUR BUTT! YOUR BUTT!!!!

 

Guy #6: Who the fuck cares?

 

Guy #3: She’s hot!

 

Venus: Hi… umm… you guys can call me Deity… all my friends call me that.

 

Joe: …How many names do you have… YOU EVIL TEMPTRESS!

 

Deity: Well… all my friends call me Deity… My real name is Venus Aphrodite… and… then there’s Ecstasy… that’s about it…

 

Joe: Yeah, whatever… “Deity” if that is your real name…

 

Deity: …I just said my real name is Venus Aphrodite…

 

Joe: Yeah… whatever…

 

Señora Stewart: Ay! Chicos! You have to be gentlemenlike! Joe! You dance with Deity!

 

Joe: WHAAAAAA!!! You don’t understand! She’s evil! Evil!

 

Señora Stewart: Look… you can either dance with her… or you can dance with Señor Reyes…

 

Joe looks over at Reyes… Reyes winks at Joe…

 

Joe: …Fine… I’ll dance with her…

 

Ten minutes later…

 

Joe: …Just know… that I don’t trust you…

 

Deity: Why?

 

Joe: Because you tried to kill us!

 

Deity: Oh… ::laughs:: That… don’t worry… I was just going to give you to some scientists who were going to do horrible experiments with your butts…

 

Joe: …

 

Joe and Deity are dancing salsa while they’re talking.

 

Joe: …I have some questions for you…

 

Deity: …I don’t want to go out with you…

 

Joe: No! Who are you people? Why do we have powers… and… ::hearts in eyes:: what’s your number…? ::shakes head:: NO! I mean… what’s N.O.D.A.T.S.S.T.U.P.I.D.? and how’d you get your powers?

 

Deity: Hmm? I have no idea what you’re talking about… I’m just an average student…

 

Joe: …yeah… ::sarcastically:: and Khoi’s an average freak of nature…

 

Later that day…

 

Joule: ::standing on top of the gym, looks sad about something:: Must I do this? Is it my destiny? ::looks up at the sky::

 

Necro: ::arrives in a full body cast:: There you are… give me another chance to get those brats Phoenix…

 

Joule: Sorry… but HQ has given me some orders… Necro… Chaos… Chaos Necromancer… We are all part of the three name band… you, me, and SSE… but… I’ve always been the leader… and as the leader… I must deal out appropriate punishments… After all, I am Joule… Char… and Phoenix… ::his hand suddenly bursts into flame::

 

Necro: ::wide eyes:: Did you put THAT on me?! Wait! Phoenix! Don’t detonate it!! Give me another chance!

 

Joule: what? You disobeyed orders, you jeopardized the situation… Shit like you… ::glances at Necro:: Doesn’t deserve to live…

 

Necro: No! Don’t!

 

Necro explodes in a huge red flame.

 

Joule: Worthless…

 

In Mr. Kim’s room…

 

Joe: …hey… Khoi… maybe Deity isn’t that bad of a person…

 

Khoi: uhh… Deity?

 

Joe: Another name for “Venus” and “Ecstasy”

 

Khoi: Oh… ::shifts eyes:: I still beat her in names! “The Virus,” “Jason,” “Khoi,” “Faggot,” “weird hippopotamus.”

 

Joe: yeah…

 

Cuong: Umm… why the sudden change of heart?

 

Joe: I don’t know…

 

Khoi: HE HAS A CRUSH ON HER!

 

Joe: NO I DON’T!

 

Khoi: Oh right… you’re gay…

 

Joe: Yeah!… WAIT! NO! I’M NOT GAY!

 

Khoi: Really? Damn… you should’ve told me that before I sent your picture to Homo monthly…

 

Joe: What?!

 

Khoi: uhh… you didn’t hear that…

 

Joe: Look! You guys! I don’t have a crush on her! SHE’S EVIL! EVIL!!!

 

Jon: EVIL!… so why are we yelling?

 

Khoi: Umm… ::kicks Jon in the nuts:: WHERE’S YOUR GOD NOW?!

 

Jon: Ow…

 

Joe: yeah…

 

Christian: Hey joe… you lucky man! You got to dance with that one girl and shit!

 

Joe: Right…

 

Ru: Yah! I hab no ideya wot yoo gois are talking bout… but I saw mai balls today and they were all reird…

 

Khoi: I never noticed this but… doesn’t Ru kinda sound like Scooby-doo? HAHAHA! COME ON! DO YOU WANT A SCOOBY SNACK?!

 

Cuong: Dude… that wasn’t funny… at all…

 

Khoi: …shut up Mini me!

 

Leo: Khoi… if he was a mini version of you, we would have killed him by now.

 

Khoi: …shut up and give me your fruit roll up!

 

Leo: okay, master…

 

Joe: …anyways… I think I can get her to get on our side.

 

Cuong: …so… you do have a crush on her!

 

Joe: No! I mean!… argh! ::runs away::

 

Khoi: …phew… look at that view… ::staring down Seiji’s shirt::

 

Seiji: Stop! What are you doing?!

 

Khoi: Umm… investigating your tits? Yours aren’t as big as Mason’s though… Now he was hot… ::drools::

 

Cuong: …Khoi has just reached a new level of depravity…

 

Later… Joe is walking to his new “home”

 

Joe: It was a good idea to live in Barnes and Noble… I just hide in the restroom until the coast is clear… then sneak out and sleep on the couches… no one is the wiser.

 

A person walks up to Joe.

 

Joule: Hey… ID.

 

Joe: Uhh… huh? Got the wrong guy buddy…

 

Joule: No, I think I have the right guy…

 

Joe: …are you hitting on me? Because I’m not gay… that picture in homo monthly wasn’t me… ::shifts eyes::

 

Joule: What? I’m here to talk to you... now come with me… or I’ll force you to come with me.

 

Joe: …uhh… are you some Jehovah’s witness or something?

 

Joule: No… and actually… we met before…

 

Joe: huh?

 

Joule: Remember, right after you defeated Necro… I came to pick up the pieces…

 

Joe: ::suddenly remembers:: …Oh… you’re that guy… ::laughs:: I remember now… I ran away! Well… ::ignites his left hand:: ::serious:: I’m a lot stronger now… and I’m not running away this time.

 

Joule: I’m not here to fight… but if that’s your wish ::ignites his right hand with red flame::

 

Joe: :[pic]: …that’s the same… as me…

 

Joule: Not exactly the same… ::rushes at Joe and swipes at him with the flaming hand::

 

Joe blocks with his flaming hand, once they make contact, they explode… Joe is thrown back…

 

Joe: Ugh… dammit… what was that…

 

Joule: Well… I’ll tell you… I am the first… I’m project Red Flame… Joule Chem… your predecessor… who your powers were based off… your brother.

 

Joe: ::incredulously:: What?

 

Joule: Yes, I am like you. Long ago, when N.O.D.A.T.S.S.T.U.P.I.D. was created… The first power they created was the red flame… ten people were given the power… and nine of them died. Due to the losses inflicted on them… another flame was created. A weaker flame… you.

 

Joe: …::frowns:: Weaker huh?

 

Joule: That’s right… ::ignites his other hand on red flame:: and… I’ll show you why mine is stronger…

 

Joe: …why don’t you stop talking and show me then…?! ::suddenly grabs his neck and gasps for breath:: ::falls to the ground::What… did you… do?

 

Joule: ::seriously:: I heated the air all around us… for someone like you… it must be very difficult to breathe. However, it was a necessary measure. We can’t have you resisting.

 

Joe: ::coughs:: Yeah… well… for someone like you… this might kill you ::weakly points his palm at Joule:: Blue Flame Dragon… ::fires out a dragon at Joule::

 

Joule jumps over the dragon.

 

Joule: Please… I don’t wish to kill you…

 

Joe: Yeah… whatever… ::thinking:: I have to get more air…

 

Joe gets up and begins to try and get away from the heated air.

 

Joe: Ugh… ::concentrates his flame to his feet and launches himself out of the heated area::

 

Joule: Impressive… we truly are of the same mold.

 

Joe: Shut up… ::breathes in deeply:: Because… I won’t hold back… ::creates a dragon around his body:: I’ll show you the shooting star, Ryuusei… ::puts his hand in a claw position and the flame of the dragon surrounds it::

 

Joule: …Interesting technique… then… me too… ::ignites his hand on fire:: I’ll show you a technique I created… Phoenix Meteor… ::the flame grows larger:: Come…

 

Joe: GLADLY! RYUUSEI! ::rushes with his attack::

 

Joule: ::rushes also::

 

They collide and both swing their respective attacks in their hands… The Ryuusei hits the Phoenix meteor. The two attacks are pushing against each other and Joule and Joe are in a deadlock. Blue flame and red flame spread out from the collision every which way.

 

Joe: I’m not done! ::forms another claw position with his other hand and creates a ryuusei in his other hand and pushes it forward::

 

Joule: :[pic]: ::thinking:: Another one of those attacks in his other hand?

 

Joe: Die!

 

Joule kicks Joe away and they both slide back. Joe quickly lights both of his hands on fire, puts them together, releases them and slams them on the floor. The flame rushes into the ground and towards Joule.

 

Joe: Seeking Fire Dragon Missile!

 

Four dragons of blue flame come out of the ground at Joule. Joule flips back and dodges them as they skip up and hit the ground.

 

Joule: ::puts his index finger and middle finger together and points them at Joe:: Flame shotgun!

 

Joe’s shoulder suddenly burns up.

 

Joe: ::grimaces:: Ugh! Fast attack! I couldn’t even see it!

 

Joule grabs his wrist with his other hand and begins to fire multiple fire bullets like a machine gun.

 

Joe: Not good! ::blocks with his forearms, Joe’s sleeves begin to disintegrate:: Damn you! ::suddenly disappears::

 

Joule: …Where’d he go?

 

Joe reappears to the side of Joule and hits him in the face.

 

Joule: ::thinking:: what?! Fast!

 

Joe disappears again and appears on Joule’s other side and kicks him in the face, sending him flying.

 

Joule: Ugh! ::recovers and jumps back up:: Interesting… you’ve very interesting.

 

Joe: What?

 

Joule: ::thinking:: The creativity of his flame attacks… and he’s already using his flame to propel himself to high speeds. I need to see more.

 

Joe: ::brings his hand out in the “bring it” position:: Come on…

 

Joule: ::thinking:: If I continue to hold back… I might die…

 

Joe: If you won’t come to me… I’ll come to you! ::extends his arm and hand in the claw position and flame envelops it again in the form of a dragon:: ::grabs his wrist with his left hand:: Ryuusei! ::rushes at Joule, crouching low as he runs::

 

Joule: ::thinking:: A beautiful… and deadly attack. It’s not just the flame around his hand… but his hand itself… The heat from the flame heats the air in front of his hand and allows him to move his hand into the enemy at high speeds with low wind resistance… Getting hit by that… would be like getting stabbed with a giant sword… DODGE!

 

Joule jumps to the side to avoid the ryuusei. Joe skids to a stop and spins around, attacking with his ryuusei again.

 

Joe: TAKE THIS!

 

Joule propels himself backwards with his flame, leaving a trail of fire on the ground. Joe hits the ground with the ryuusei, the ground crumbles and Joe’s hand gets buried two feet into it.

 

Joule: ::thinking:: That could’ve been me…

 

Joe: Running away?! ::forcefully pulls his arm out of the ground and rushes at Joule, he lights his leg on fire and jumps up at him:: Damn you! ::swings his leg at Joule’s head::

 

Joule lights his forearm on fire and puts it up to his face, guarding against the kick. Joe’s upper body is about to hit the ground, so Joe stops himself from falling by pushing against the ground with his left arm. Joe pushes off against the ground with his left hand and spins, using his other leg to try and leg sweep Joule in the process. Joule flips back to avoid it.

 

Joule: ::barely looks like anything’s happened:: You’re strong… in just this short amount of time… you’ve already taken the steps to master your flame… I commend you.

 

Joe: Stop talking and come.

 

Joule: Another time… we are not destined to have our battle here…

 

Joe: …really now… I disagree!

 

Joule: ::smoke starts to billow out from the bottom of his body:: I’m sorry… but I must leave… but be sure… we’ll fight again. ::the smoke envelops his whole body and he disappears::

 

Joe: Wait! I need answers!

 

Joule’s gone.

 

Joe: Dammit…

 

Anyways… with Khoi later…

 

Khoi: ::eating a hot dog:: This somehow turns me on… putting a sausage in someone’s buns…

 

Jason: Why’d we come to Weinershnitzel?

 

Khoi: Because… I love sausages! They’re almost as good as a honeybun… ::look of realization:: I GOT IT! INSTEAD OF PUTTING A SAUSAGE IN A BUN… I’ll put it in a honeybun! I’ll call it… uhh… the Ho Special?

 

Jason: Can you say… cholesterol?

 

Suddenly, a girl passes by the Weinershnitzel windows.

 

Jason: …! No way!

 

Khoi: ::mouth full of sausage:: Wah?

 

Jason: Follow that girl! We can… be… fated for each other… like how a rose is intended to blossom on a beautiful spring day… She will be my rose… and I will be her sun…

 

Khoi: ::mouth still full of sausage:: Wah? Oh wellz, I don’t care! She’s hot!

 

Khoi runs out and chases after her.

 

Khoi: Hey! Hot girl!

 

Hot girl: ::turns around:: Huh?

 

Khoi: So… I love parts of you… may I “inspect” some!

 

Hot girl: …::runs away::

 

Jason: YOU FOOL! YOU HAVE SUPER SUAVE POWERS AND YET YOU STILL MANAGE TO SCARE PEOPLE AWAY!

 

Khoi: I don’t scare them away… I merely disturb them! I’m the virus!

 

Jason: You’re an idiot… that’s what you are.

 

Khoi: You shut up! Men are watching a girl’s butt as she runs away here!

 

Jason: …well… that is pretty nice…

 

An old man sitting on a bench near Khoi suddenly laughs…

 

Old man: Heh heh… I see you like girls…

 

Khoi: Heh heh! I see you’re an old man!

 

Old man: ::turned around, fist shaking:: ::thinking:: Bastard…

 

Khoi: Anyways… what do you want?

 

Old man: I was just watching you hit on that girl… and I must tell you boy… phew… you’re terrible at this.

 

Khoi: Oh… do you use viagra?

 

Old man: what?! No! That’s not the point! Are you even listening to me?!

 

Khoi: …yes… ::thinking about the girl’s butt:: bouncy, bouncy!

 

Old man: what?

 

Khoi: Uhh… bouncy, bouncy?

 

Old man: …anyways… I’ll tell you sonny boy… I’ve seen a lot of things during my time… and I’m wise beyond my years…

 

Khoi: …but you’re old…

 

Old man: ::thinking:: I’m going to kill this guy…

 

Khoi: Why do you have white hair?

 

Old man: …::makes grunting noises as if he can’t get out what to say:: THAT’S NOT THE POINT! The point is that the key to a woman’s heart… is THE DANCE.

 

Khoi: What’s “The Dance?” Sound DELIGHTFUL! After all, I’m the lord of the dance! ::starts doing the Rene Dupree dance:: dudududududu!

 

Old man: …anyways… the dance is swing! Swing dancing is the way to any woman’s heart. Just throw her once and she’ll come back for more… ::grins:: Heh heh… I got so much booty back in the day… I once dated Marilyn Manson…

 

Khoi: Uhh… you mean Marilyn Monroe?

 

Old man: ::crosses his arms:: I know what I said…

 

Jason: Is it just me… or is this old man acting like ugly right here?

 

Old man: Now what’s with all you youngsters! With your “freaking” and your Michael Jordan “moonwalking!”

 

Khoi: Umm… itz Michael Jackson and moonwalking is soooo eighties… It’s all about freakin’ now! ::starts to freak the old man:: WHEE!

 

Old man: What the hell?! ::grabs heart, collapses::

 

Jason: …

 

Khoi: …

 

Jason: Umm…

 

Khoi: …is he dead?

 

Jason: I… don’t think so…

 

Khoi: …::backs away slowly… runs away::

 

Later… Khoi is walking along a path. A girl in her twenties passes by him. She has glasses and is wearing a doctor’s jacket thing… forgot what it’s called…

 

Khoi: She was hot… looking all smart… ::drools::

 

Suddenly… The woman turns around with a napkin and puts it up to Khoi’s mouth.

 

Khoi: ::muffled yells:: RAPE! RAPE!

 

He grows quieter and falls asleep.

 

Scientist person: Finally… now to take you back to the lab.

 

Ice appears all around the woman.

 

Scientist person: what the?

 

A mysterious person appears. He has a huge sword on his back and the bottom half of his face is covered by a red cloak/cape he’s wearing. He has spiky black hair and brown eyes. He is wearing combat boots and armor on one of his shoulders. He has one wing coming from the left side of his back.

 

?????: What do you think you’re doing?

 

Scientist Person: ::looks scared:: Who are you?!

 

?????: Call me… hitokiri.

 

Scientist person: …okay…

 

Hitokiri: Leave that guy… and go away…

 

Scientist person: And what if I don’t!

 

Hitokiri: ::takes off the huge sword from his back:: Really… do you want to find out what’ll happen if you don’t?

 

Scientist person: …meep… ::runs away::

 

Hitokiri: ::puts the sword back on his back:: ::he jumps down to Khoi:: ::he points his hand at Khoi and a green light envelops Khoi:: Esuna…

 

Khoi wakes up.

 

Khoi: what the? ::sits up:: Who did that?… oh no… have I been… DATE RAPED?! NOOOOOO!!! MY VIRGINITY!

 

Hitokiri: …

 

Khoi: Did you do it?!

 

Hitokiri: Huh?

 

Khoi: …well then… I expect both of us to take care of the baby. Hmph!

 

Hitokiri: ::thinking:: I really hope these are the effects of that chloroform.

 

Hitokiri runs away.

 

Khoi: come back! Come back! I love you!… wait… no I don’t…

 

Jason: Oh man… I hate it when this happens.

 

To be continued…

 

 

 

Joe note: Well… a special treat… I bet you guys don’t know… that sometimes… if I really don’t like a chapter I’ve written… I do it over! Yay! Anyways… the last chapter was one of those. In the original, Joule was like an insane killer type guy. However, I wanted him to be a cool not really evil type of guy. So, I went back and redid all his lines. Well, the following is the original chapter I wrote… let’s see if you guys like this one better or the new one better. Well, in the original… when I’m walking to Barnes… Joule attacks me and basically owns me in one move. Then he tells me that he’s going to go and kill all the other people. Well, after he beats me up… he goes after Charles… and yes… I rewrote these twenty pages… lol… also… you can probably tell why I changed the shit, there’s a lot of things that don’t make sense… like why Joule is attacking everyone and other things… when you reach the part where Joule starts chanting, that’s when things start to get really weird… anyways, enjoy! The untold stories… the original chapter 7? Or is it 8? I lost count… also… Hitokiri looks really different in this one and is introduced… umm… in a different way… But there are some jokes I really like… so read on and enjoy the special chapter.

 

At Charles’ house… Charles is washing his car…

 

Charles: lalalalalalalalala…

 

Suddenly… a fire ball comes and hits right next to Charles’ feet.

 

Charles: Oh shit… IT’S THE END OF THE WORLD! IT’S RAINING FIRE! I BETTER GET INTO MY ANTI-END POSITION! ::goes into the fetal position and starts sucking his thumb::

 

Joule: Fool… get up…

 

Charles: …who are you?

 

Joule: An agent… of N.O.D.A.T.S.S.T.U.P.I.D.

 

Charles: I see… ::creates balls of light all over him:: Bad mistake attacking me like this… funnel attack!

 

The balls rush at Joule firing little light blasts as they chase after him. Joule begins to flip backwards, he sends a wave of fire at the balls, the balls dodge. Joule jumps up and blows out flame from his hand like a flame thrower.

 

Joule: Unlike your friend… My flame has no limits! ::the balls get negated by the flame::

 

Charles: Friend? ::points his palm at Joule and sends a blast of light at him::

 

Joule: Weak… ::blocks the blast with his hand… the blast explodes around him upon contact, creating a blinding light:: what?! ::blocks his eyes:: Ugh… my eyes…

 

Charles’ hands turn bright and he starts to smack Joule with them.

 

Joule: argh… ::falls back, still with his hands to his eyes::

 

Charles: I call that my solar flare blast…

 

Joule: …heh… weak… ::lets go of his eyes and calms down:: Come…

 

Charles: okay! I’ll make you shut up! ::grabs his wrist with his other arm:: With a special attack! Light chidori! ::his right hand begins to light up like crazy:: ::rushes::

 

Joule: Stupid anime freak… I’ll show you what true strength is… ::flame begins to encircle Joule… a huge tornado of flame spreads out from his body and hits Charles hard:: If I can’t hit you… I’ll just have to burn everything…

 

Meanwhile in Charles’ neighbor’s house…

 

Neighbor: Wtf… it’s like the fourth of July out there… what’s going on?

 

Suddenly, Charles gets thrown through the wall of his neighbor’s house and rolls across the floor, stopping at the wall…

 

Neighbor: What the hell?!

 

Joule walks through the hole in the wall.

 

Joule: Forget you saw this old man…

 

Neighbor: Hey…what’s going on?

 

Charles: Ugh… ::gets up weakly:: I’m not done yet… ::his palm begins to glow like crazy:: This hand of mine is burning bright…

 

Joule: Anime freak… shut up! ::grabs charles by the neck:: I’ve seen Rurouni Kenshin before though… there was one attack that really spoke to me… it was done by shishio… ::Joule’s hand ignites then explodes blowing Charles through another wall::

 

Charles is down and is not getting up.

 

Joule: Hmm… ::makes a ball of fire in his hand:: And this is the end…

 

A shadow flies out of nowhere at Joule… Joule notices and jumps over it.

 

Cuong: Damn… miss…

 

Joule: Heh… you… Necro’s little freak…

 

Cuong: Hey… bastard… this is my neighborhood… you think you can get away with this shit so easily?

 

Joule: hmm… unlucky… I didn’t know that you guys lived near each other… but… in the end… all it does is save me time.

 

Cuong: Try talking in my shadow’s stomach! ::points his palm at Joule:: Shadow Spell!

 

Joule burns away the shadow to Cuong’s surprise.

 

Joule: ::serious:: is that all?

 

Cuong: No… I’m not done yet! ::swings his arm across his body:: SHADOW TSUNAMI!

 

A huge tidal wave made up of shadow rushes at Joule.

 

Cuong: Try dodging that!

 

Joule: …I don’t have to… ::ignites his entire body on fire and rushes at the wall of shadow:: I’LL BLOW THROUGH IT!

 

Joule rips through the shadow wave.

 

Cuong: I still have more! ::makes a seal with his hands:: Shadow stealth! ::disappears::

 

Joule: Another weak trick… you must appear sometime… or… ::points hand at Charles:: He’ll die!

 

Cuong appears above Joule with wings made out of shadow.

 

Cuong: ::extends his hand as if he’s holding something:: ULTIMATE SHADOW-RYUU TECHNIQUE! SHADOW DEATH! AND SHADOW REAPER! ::a scythe made of shadow appears in Cuong’s hand:: DIE! ::strikes down with the scythe::

 

Joule catches the scythe with his bare hand.

 

Joule: ::looks back at Cuong:: That’s your ultimate technique?

 

Cuong: I’m not done yet! ::his wings engulf him and teleport him about twenty feet from Joule:: Shadow windmill! ::throws the scythe at Joule, spinning::

 

Joule: psh… ::moves to the side and dodges the scythe:: Easy shit…

 

Cuong: ::smiles:: Really now?

 

The scythe turns around and come back at Joule.

 

Joule: ::noticing:: yeah right… I’ll just catch it!

 

Cuong: ::smiles again and concentrates:: You forget! That scythe is made of shadow! ::clenches his fist:: SHADOW SPELL!

 

The scythe explodes into a shadow spell attack, engulfing Joule.

 

Cuong: I did it!

 

The shadows explode, with red flame rushing forth…

 

Cuong: No… way… ::nervous and sweating::

 

Joule: Any other attacks you want to show me?

 

Cuong’s wings disappear and he goes down to the ground.

 

Joule: So… that technique is limited… you’re all rookies… every single one of you… all rookies…

 

Cuong: Who says I’m done? ::points palm at Joule:: SHADOW DESTR…!

 

Joule has his elbow jammed in Cuong’s stomach.

 

Joule: Problem with your powers… you have to announce them. But… all flame powered people have rocket speed, do I can stop you before you can even say Shadow… and do you want to know why we have this speed? I’ll show you… ::grabs Cuong and propels himself into the air by blowing flame from his feet:: THIS IS WHY!

 

Joule throws Cuong down hard at the ground from fifty feet in the air.

 

Joule: Die!

 

Cuong: ::thinking:: Dammit… is this it?

 

Cuong is about to hit the ground, when a figure rushes in and slides to catch him.

 

Joule: Who?

 

Joe: …damn… I’m still injured… that hurts… ::faints again… after catching Cuong::

 

Joule lands to the ground, using flame to slow him down to a comfortable landing.

 

Joule: Heh… looks like I underestimated you… I won’t do it again… I was going to keep you alive since we’re like brothers almost… but I don’t think so anymore… ::shoots a flamethrower at Joe and Cuong::

 

Another figure comes and absorbs the flamethrower by spinning his hands around in a familiar fashion.

 

Joule: Hmm… Super Suave… I wasn’t expecting you…

 

Jason: Well, Joe didn’t come alone… And what would this story be without the main character fighting you?

 

Joule: Hmm… you’re the main character? Let’s see… I don’t think so… you’re the type that gets on America’s Most Wanted for being a pedophile.

 

Jason: DAMMIT! I’m Jason! Not Khoi!

 

Khoi: YEAH! AND THAT ONLY HAPPENED ONCE IN MY LIFE!

 

Joule: You really think you can beat me?

 

Jason: Yeah… I can beat you like Cuong’s mama beat him…

 

Joule: Interesting… ::eyes flash:: Let’s test it out… ::rushes at Jason:: I WON’T EVEN USE MY FLAME!

 

Joule attacks Jason, Jason dodges to the side and tries to trip Joule with a leg sweep. Joule flips over it and turns, trying for a back hand. Jason freaks the backhand away, and pops his elbow right into Joule’s chest. Joule backs off a little from the blow, but grabs Jason’s arm and throws him backwards as he falls. Jason lands on his feet and Joule flips up onto his feet.

 

Joule: Hmm… pretty good…

 

Jason: heh… I’m the one that hit you…

 

Joule: ::grimaces:: Kota e wo sa gashii de…

 

Jason: What?…

 

Joule: ::puts his hands together and starts to concentrate:: Kuta a nawa shita a nega o mo e deka a otoyou.

 

Jason: ::begins to back off, grabbing his heart:: Oh… my heart…

 

Khoi: Hey, that’s what I always say! But this isn’t really funny…

 

Jason: ::falls down on his knees:: What… have you done?

 

Joule: ::continues chanting:: Muna ke ni iishata kekika iida koto… koto lo!

 

Jason turns back into Khoi.

 

Khoi: What happened?

 

Joule: Heh… so… you’re back to your normal self.

 

Khoi: Uhh… no… ::shifts eyes:: I’m Jason… you better run away before I crazy eight you!

 

Joule: Right… and I’m your mom…

 

Khoi: You are? Who said that?

 

Joule: …die… ::ignites his hand on fire::

 

Suddenly… a shuriken comes out of nowhere and hits Joule’s hand…

 

Joule: What the?… ::his hand is bleeding::

 

There’s a figure on top of the roof of someone’s house.

 

?????: I won’t allow this to go on any further…

 

Joule: Who are you?

 

?????: Call me… Hitokiri…

 

Joule: What the fuck… another freak has appeared…

 

Hitokiri: ::jumps off the roof and lands on the ground in front of Khoi:: who are you calling a freak? You arsonist…

 

Hitokiri’s face is hidden by his shirt, which has a collar going up to his eyes. He has blonde spiky hair and blue eyes. He is wearing a blue cloak over his black shirt and has metal armor on his left shoulder. He is wearing combat boots, cargo pants, and has a huge sword on his back.

 

Joule: HQ didn’t tell me about this guy.

 

Hitokiri: Shut up… ::takes out his huge sword::

 

Joule: This is bothersome… ::ignites his hands::

 

Suddenly, police sirens sound off in the distance.

 

Joule: Tsk… someone in this neighborhood saw us and called the cops… We’ll settle this another day… ::runs off::

 

Hitokiri sheaths his sword.

 

Khoi: Umm… mister… who are you? Where are you from? And where can I get a sword like that? So long and hard… ::drools::

 

Hitokiri: None of that’s your concern and I got this sword from that cutlery store in the Buena Park Mall.

 

Khoi: okay… I’ll remember that.

 

Hitokiri: Well, the cops are coming… You better pick up your friends and…

 

Khoi: Put them in bed together and take very unflattering pictures to bend them to my will?

 

Hitokiri: No! You have to take them away… somewhere safe… if the cops find you… it’ll be big trouble. ::runs off::

 

Khoi: Wait! I can’t lift tubby! ::points at Cuong::

 

Later… at Independence park… Khoi has laid out Joe, Cuong, and Charles on the ground. He is now talking to himself…

 

Khoi: Umm… Jason… you there?

 

Silence…

 

Khoi: Oh, Jason… I have a sweet and juicy honey bun!

 

Silence…

 

Khoi: …Uhh… there’s a hot girl here?

 

Silence…

 

Khoi: …I’m lonely… and I don’t know how to do CPR! I’ve been doing it to Cuong for the last hour! And he still hasn’t woken up! I even used my tongue! Nothing works!

 

Cuong’s unconscious body shudders uncontrollably. Suddenly…

 

Ecstasy: Boy… you’re useless…

 

Khoi: ::hearts in eyes:: YOU’RE BACK! OooOOOoooh!

 

Ecstasy: Sigh… yeah… don’t worry… I’m not here to figh… what the hell are you doing?

 

Khoi: Umm… investigat…? ::is looking up Ecstasy’s skirt::

 

Ecstasy: You say “investigating” and I’ll deck you…

 

Khoi: Umm… investing?

 

Ecstasy: ::kicks the shit outta Khoi:: Stand ten feet away from me at all times! I transformed to Ecstasy to help you!

 

Khoi: Umm… yay? Who said that? ::looks around idiotically::

 

Ecstasy: …sigh… ::puts her two hands together:: Itodi ta ecara yee cana yee e tsubo da neka y sawa y nii kara y nokee wa… kimi a naru gana!

 

Jason: …ugh…

 

Khoi: Gasp! There’s a voice in my head! GET IT OUT! GET IT OUT!

 

Ecstasy: You fool! That’s Jason!

 

Khoi: Who? ::look of realization:: Oh… right…

 

Ecstasy: I’ll tell you this now… all high ranking N.O.D.A.T.S.S.T.U.P.I.D. agents can lock your abilities with a chant. It was a safety measure built into Super Suave in case some idiot tried to go out and knock up a lot of people.

 

Khoi: umm… ::shifts eyes:: I’d never do… that…

 

Ecstasy: Whatever… also… from the looks of things… Cuong will heal up in just a few hours… Charles was thrown through a wall so I suggest you get him to a hospital… and Joe… well… I’ll take him.

 

Khoi: Wait… aren’t you the people who are trying to “kidnap” us to do things with our butts? Why should I let you take Joe?

 

Ecstasy: Because he has Phoenix burns… once Joule touches you with a serious flame, the burn will never go away.

 

Khoi: umm… Charles was burned…

 

Ecstasy: That wasn’t a serious burn… a phoenix burn is a burn that takes on the form of a creature… your friend is lucky… if Joule used his true techniques… you’d all be dead by now…

 

Khoi: So, why didn’t he use his techniques?

 

Ecstasy: I have a theory… but I’m not sure yet… ::picks up Joe:: But… your friend’s burns need to be treated immediately with a special mixture of water and chemicals.

 

Khoi: …Fine… I guess… I’ll trust you…

 

Ecstasy: Good…

 

Khoi: okay… then as a sign of goodwill… take off your shirt… ::drools uncontrollably::

 

Ecstasy: …fuck off. ::runs off carrying Joe on her back::

 

Khoi: Sigh… well… better get Charles to a hospital… ::starts poking Cuong with a stick:: Get up tubby, and help me carry Charles…

 

Cuong wakes up…

 

Cuong: I’m up… I’m up… stop POKING ME!

 

Khoi: fine… ::pokes Cuong one more time:: heehee… look at that fat jiggle!

 

Cuong: ::notices a very bad taste in his mouth:: Ugh… it feels like I made out with a portapotty…

 

Khoi: Strange… maybe I could’ve sworn I brushed my teeth today… oh… that was last week…

 

Cuong: Huh?… ::looks of realization::… oh god… ::starts to throw up::

 

Khoi: …gosh… no manners… I gave you a gift! A GIFT!… I know a lot of people who would kill for me to give them tongue! Hmph!

 

Cuong: ::begins to throw up even more::

 

Back with Ecstasy…

 

Joe: ::waking up:: Ugh…

 

Ecstasy: Finally awake?

 

Joe is riding in the backseat of Ecstasy’s car.

 

Joe: Where am I?

 

Ecstasy: My car…

 

Joe: Ugh… where are you taking me?

 

Ecstasy: I need to get your burns healed…

 

Joe: Forget it… let me off here…

 

Ecstasy: No can do… you have Phoenix burns… and…

 

Joe: What burns? ::Joe is totally healed::

 

Ecstasy: What the… ::looking in her rear view mirror:: ::thinking:: Joule… you’ve terribly underestimated the blue flame… You said that it’s a weaker version of yours… but that’s not really true… Sure it lacks your sheer offensive power… but it has the ability to heal and is a lot more easier to control. The blue flame is not a weaker version of the red… It’s just a defensive version of it…

 

Joe: Let me off here… this is enough…

 

Ecstasy: Hold on… I’ll drive you back…

 

Joe: …I don’t want any favors… especially from you.

 

Ecstasy: aww… so… you don’t like me huh?

 

Joe: I wouldn’t say “don’t like”… I’d say hate…

 

Ecstasy: why’s that?

 

Joe: because… you people did this to me…

 

Ecstasy: What? What’d we do? Give you power?

 

Joe: No… you gave me a curse…

 

Ecstasy: Well… your friends seem to like their powers…

 

Joe: …::angrily:: THEIR POWERS DON’T DO THIS TO THEM! ::pulls up his sleeve, there are many burn marks:: …consequences for using my flame… I can’t touch people! My flame is sometimes uncontrollable! Do you have any idea how that feels?! To burn things when you don’t want to… to be constantly afraid of when my flame might just burst out uncontrollably?!

 

Ecstasy: Wait a minute… are you telling me… that… your flame actually hurts you?

 

Joe: No… when I first got these powers… the flame would attack anything… anything… humans, buildings, furniture… the only way I could learn how to control it… was to burn myself every day… torture myself into using it correctly…

 

Ecstasy: …no way…

 

Joe: If I fail to burn myself a day… my flame appears at random moments… This is the curse you people gave to me… I hate you all…

 

Ecstasy: ::changes back into Deity::

 

Deity: ::smiles:: Well, that’s not nice… remember when you asked me how I got my powers?

 

Joe: …

 

Deity: Well… I was born with them…

 

Joe: :[pic]: …what?

 

To be continued… why is Ecstasy helping Joe? What’s her story? All this and more nutkicking action on the next installment.

 

Joe note: Actually… no… the origin of Ecstasy won’t be revealed next chapter… and you can ignore the shit about my powers being uncontrollable. The REAL chapter will be continued. Lol.

Halloween special... Happy homecoming to all SHHS people... strangely it's near halloween... well... that explains all the Asians dancing... lol

Halloween Special… N.O.D.A.T.S.S.C.A.R.Y. this has nothing to do with the real story line… hence it being a “special!” The next chapter dealing with the storyline is later on…

 

Khoi: Whee! It’s my birthday tomorrow!

 

Joe: Uhh… no it isn’t…

 

Khoi: Well! It’s Halloween! So you better bring me a present! You too fatty!

 

Cuong: …well… it would make sense if you WERE born on Halloween.

 

Khoi: Everybody here is invited to my birthday party!

 

Seiji, Leo, Sophack, Jon, Kevin, etc.: Ugh…

 

Khoi: What was that? ::shakes fist::

 

Seiji, Leo, Sophack, Jon, Kevin, etc.: ugh…

 

Khoi: That’s better! Hmph!

 

Later, Jon is walking through the mall looking for a present for Khoi.

 

Jon: I know what will make Khoi happy! A NIGHT OF HOT SEX!… wait… ::shudders::

 

Suddenly, a homeless guy with a shopping cart of weird stuff appears.

 

Jon: ::looking in shopping cart:: GASP! ::points at a Yugi plush doll in the basket:: KHOI WILL LOVE THAT! LITERALLY! HE WILL MAKE LOVE TO IT!

 

Homeless guy: Eh? You interested lady?

 

Jon: …I’m a guy…

 

Homeless guy: I never doubted you were a man… ma’am, I mean “Sir.”

 

Jon: Uh huh… I want that Yugi doll!

 

Homeless guy: Okay… but… I must warn you… I got it from a toy store where a serial killer died… and the serial killer had “voodoo powers.”… fifty bux.

 

Jon: Okay! ::pulls out his wallet:: ::thinks:: Wait… what was that first part?

 

Homeless guy: I got it from a toy store where a serial killer died… and the serial killer had “voodoo powers.”…

 

Jon: Oh… okay!

 

The next day at Khoi’s “birthday.”

 

Cuong: Where’s Khoi dammit? I don’t wanna be here all day.

 

Khoi walks in with a baby costume on… which is basically him wearing a diaper and pacifier.

 

Khoi: Wait! Why aren’t you guys dressed up?! Awww…

 

Cuong: I AM DRESSED UP! ::oompa loompa costume::

 

Khoi: Oh… ::shifts eyes:: right… Hey! I like your costume Seiji!

 

Seiji: ::dressed up as a final fantasy character:: What costume?

 

Sophack: …right…

 

Joe: ::not dressed as anything::

 

Khoi: dammit Joe… why aren’t you dressed up?

 

Leo: ::dressed up in a Joe costume:: I’m Leo…

 

Khoi: …well… ladeedah… where’s Joe?

 

Joe is dressed up as Khoi Alba.

 

Joe: Hey…

 

Khoi: AHHHHH! … oh… it’s just Joe…

 

Jon: OPEN THE PRESENTS! OPEN THE PRESENTS!

 

Khoi: SHUT UP! ::kicks Jon in the nuts:: Now! Let’s open the presents!

 

Sophack: This one’s from me…

 

Khoi: Ooooooh… ::opens it up, gasps:: A BOX! I love it!

 

Sophack: It’s inside the box!

 

Khoi opens it up.

 

Khoi: heh? There’s just this clock thing in here… oh wellz… ::the clock is counting down to zero:: I already have a clock… ::throws it away… it explodes::

 

Sophack: Damn…

 

Jon: HERE’S MY PRESENT!

 

Khoi: ::opens it up… it’s a yugi plush doll:: WOW! A MASTURBATION TOY!

 

Jon: …uhh… it’s a Yugi doll…

 

Khoi: Oh… right…

 

The yugi doll starts to talk.

 

Yugi: Hi! I’ll be your friend to the end! Hideeho! Hahaha!

 

Khoi: …this seems vaguely reminiscient of a movie.

 

Joe: Kinda seems like Chucky… and I’m a horror movie buff… and yugi dolls aren’t supposed to talk…

 

Yugi: …damn… ::goes limp again::

 

Khoi: Yeah! You better go limp! ::shakes fist::

 

Cuong: …uhh… you’re not going to keep that are you? It’s probably going to kill you.

 

Khoi: hahahaha! Cuong… if there’s anything I’ve learned from horror movies… it’s that the evil doll always turns into a beautiful princess…

 

Cuong: …:[pic]: Huh?

 

Jon: Oh come on people! It’s not dangerous! It’s just been possessed by the soul of a serial criminal!

 

Khoi: GASP! CEREAL CRIMINAL! ::imagines::

 

Rabbit: ::the bowl of cereal in his hands:: DIE!!! YOU BASTARD KIDS! FUUUUCKKKK!!! ::starts shooting his uzi around everywhere:: AHHHHHHH!!!

 

Khoi: …heehee… bunny…

 

Charles: ::dressed up as a mermaid… I don’t know why:: Anyways… we’re going to go now Khoi! Have fun with your crazy possessed doll!

 

Everybody runs out of Khoi’s party.

 

Khoi: hahaha… okay… Hey there little guy! ::pats the yugi on the head::

 

Yugi: …

 

Later that night…

 

Khoi: ::waking up:: ::rubs his eyes::

 

The yugi doll is right above khoi with a knife in his hand.

 

Khoi: Oh! Hey there little guy!

 

Yugi doll: Time to die crapface!

 

Khoi: Hee hee… you’re so small… it’s funny…

 

Yugi doll: DIE!

 

Khoi: ::picks up the Yugi doll:: hee hee… look at him struggle futiley… it makes my heart smile…

 

Yugi doll: dammit! Lemme go! I’m soooo going to fucking kill you!

 

Khoi: GASP! THIS DOLL IS POSSESSED!

 

Yugi doll: You moron! EVERYBODY ALREADY KNEW THAT!

 

Khoi: ahahahahaha! I’ll pay you to say “It’s time to du-du-du-du-duel!”

 

Yugi doll: HOLY CRAP! I’M GOING TO RIP OUT YOUR THROAT AND STUFF IT UP YOUR ASS!

 

Khoi: …that might feel good…

 

Yugi doll: No it wouldn’t!

 

Khoi: Sigh… anyways… I’m bored of you now… why does Jon always get me a possessed doll? Every single year…

 

Yugi doll: Huh?

 

Khoi: Yugi! ::opens up a drawer:: Meet Chucky, the energizer bunny, Woody, Buzz, and Pinnochio! Have a good orgy!

 

Yugi doll: WHAT?!

 

Khoi throws the Yugi doll into the drawer with the other possessed dolls.

 

Pinnochio: I’m a real boy!

 

Yugi doll: Shut the fuck up…

 

Chucky: Hey… if you want some good fucking… the energizer bunny keeps going and going and going…

 

Yugi doll: …Aren’t you also possessed by a serial killer?

 

Chucky: yeah… I know we have a lot in common you and I… but I’m already seeing Pinnochio… He’s definitely a “real boy.” He has “hard wood.” ::wink::

 

Yugi doll: Oh god! GET ME OUT OF HERE!

 

Khoi calls from outside the drawer.

 

Khoi: hey! The virus spreads to dolls too! Dududududududu!

 

The end…

8th installment: Norse

Seiji wakes up and scratches his butt.

 

Seiji: ::drowsily walks up to his computer and turns it on:: Must… play…

 

Later that day…

 

Joe: …wait… so… lemme get this straight… while I was fighting this guy who had the same powers as I have… you got knocked out by a scientist woman… and a guy with a really big sword saved you…

 

Khoi: Did I stutter?… no seriously… I forgot what I said.

 

Joe: Damn… things have gotten sooooo complicated.

 

Khoi: shut up!

 

Joe: …uhh… why?

 

Khoi: ::shrugs:: Uhh… ::shifts eyes:: Let’s watch Lizzie Mcguire?

 

Joe: WHAT?! NO! WHY?

 

Khoi: Geez, it was just a suggestion.

 

Joe: …Hilary duff is stupid… She can’t sing, she can’t do anything except annoy the hell outta people who actually KNOW what music is.

 

Khoi: Umm… Boa?

 

Joe: …that’s not music… that’s Korean… there’s a distinct difference… and it still disturbs me how you know of her somehow.

 

Khoi: Yeah… ::shifts eyes::

 

Joe: well… I’m bored… it’s been a week since all that stuff happened… now it’s back to plain old boring school…

 

Khoi: Yeah… well… I had a dream yesterday…

 

Joe: …must you tell me what happened in it?

 

Khoi: Umm… unfortunately, yes!

 

Joe: Okay… it’s not weird is it…?

 

Khoi: I can’t make any promises… ::clicks his tongue::

 

Joe: Oh god… it isn’t a wet dream about Cuong again, is it?

 

Khoi: Hey! That only happened once! AND ONLY TWICE! I MEAN ONCE!

 

Joe: …well… get on with it… what happened in your dream?

 

Khoi: Well…

 

Khoi’s dream…

 

Khoi: ::wakes up:: What a lovely day…

 

Trish: Hey Khoi! I love you!

 

Khoi: I know! Geez… damn woman… can’t keep her hands off me.

 

Khoi gets up and walks into his underwater living room. He puts a fishbowl on his head.

 

Khoi: Time to watch TV! ::turns on the television, Jon is on::

 

Jon: Hi Khoi!

 

Khoi: Get outta there! ::pulls Jon out of the tv::

 

Jon: So… what are we doing today?

 

Khoi: Same thing we do everyday! Strut!

 

For some reason, Khoi and Jon are now strutting on a street… I have no idea how they got there… and I have no idea where they got those suits they’re wearing from the twenties.

 

Khoi: ::waves at Big Bird:: Hi Mr. Big Bird!

 

Big Bird: Hi Khoi! ::flies away and gets hit by a plane::

 

Khoi: hahahaha! He was yellow…

 

Jon: Hey look! Pizza!

 

A pizza appears out of nowhere.

 

Khoi: Ooooooh… ::opens up the pizza box::

 

Cuong pops out of the pizza box with a marching band.

 

Cuong: I was stuck in there…

 

Khoi: I know…

 

Cuong: Let us dance.

 

Khoi: Indeed…

 

Cuong and Khoi start to lambada. Suddenly, for no apparent reason… Khoi turns into a robot.

 

Khoibot: I am Khoibot! Grrr! ::shoots out laser vision at Godzilla::

 

Godzilla: I’m Colin Powell! Meow!

 

Suddenly Khoi is having tea with a monkey on a unicycle.

 

Khoi: So then, Billy says to me, “You’re beautiful.” And then I said, “Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, I have no idea what happens, fool me… uhh… thrice? And I still don’t know what happens…”

 

Monkey: ::subtitled monkey talk:: THIS DREAM MADE NO SENSE! TELL THE PEOPLE!

 

Khoi smacks the monkey.

 

Khoi: Shut up! I’m talking here!

 

Back in reality…

 

Khoi: I wonder what that dream meant…

 

Joe: It means… you have problems… BIG ones.

 

Khoi: well then, tell me a dream of yours!… was I in it?

 

Joe: Well… in my dream…

 

Joe’s dream…

 

Joe: ::wakes up:: Well… time to go to work…

 

Ten minutes later… Joe is riding on a motorcycle to his office.

 

Joe: Rockets on! ::motorcycle suddenly flies in the air::

 

At the office.

 

Boss: Joe, where were you?!

 

Joe: I was doing your wife! What’s it to you?!

 

Boss: Dammit! Get to work!

 

Joe: Fine!

 

A talking cat smoking a cigar enters the room.

 

Cat: Yo bitch! What’s happening?!

 

Joe: Aiite Mista Whiskas! Shit! Got some new cologne?

 

Cat: Yup! It’s the shit! LITERALLY!

 

Joe: Nice!

 

Joe goes to his cubicle.

 

Joe: ::starts to play pong on his computer::

 

In reality…

 

Joe: And then I end up playing pong for the rest of my dream…

 

Khoi: Well, that’s an average dream…

 

Joe: Hmm… yeah… whatever.

 

Jon: ::appearing out of nowhere reading a book:: Well in the big book of dreams… Khoi… it says here… that your dream means that… you have a strange obsession with monkeys…

 

Khoi: Well… duh… stoOpid!

 

Jon: And Joe… it says here… that you eat too much ketchup…

 

Joe: What? I don’t eat ketchup at all! Not even on French fries!

 

Jon: Well… the other alternative in the book says that… other than that… the person has to be gay.

 

Joe: …I SURE LOVE KETCHUP! CAN’T GET ENOUGH OF IT!

 

Khoi: Where’d you get that book?! I WANT A BOOK!

 

Jon: I got it from the dumpster! I also got parts of this diary from the dumpster! The dumpster is a freaking gold mine!

 

Joe: …yeah…

 

Khoi: LET’S READ THE DIARY! IT PROBABLY HAS LOTS OF… secrets… about… red monkey butts! And why they are so… red…

 

The diary…

 

Oct. 11, 1995

 

I don’t know why… but today… was a very odd day. I walked to school and my teacher started to keep on wanting to talk to me. He kept me in at lunch just to talk about my life. He also tried to keep me after school for no reason. Well, I told Melissa after school about what happened. She thinks that Mr. Neilson has a crush on me. I think she’s crazy. Mr. Neilson can’t have a crush on me! He’s like bazillion years old. Well… that’s basically all that happened today… Oh yeah! I got a present from my mom today. It’s a locket! A gold locket shaped like a pair of wings! I love it!

 

Oct. 15 1995

 

Mr. Neilson acted strange again today. He just noticed my locket and freaked out on me. He asked me strange questions… He kept on asking if I had a boyfriend. Well, boys are lame. He’s weird. I’m just in the fourth grade. Anyways, I told him it was a gift from my mom and he just sort of calmed down. He smiled after that and said to me to keep up the good work.

 

November 20, 1996

 

It’s almost Thanksgiving! Yay! Me and my family are planning to have a huge dinner to celebrate. My mom and dad are out buying the turkey right now… but… something weird happened today… Mr. Neilson was outside of my house… just staring at it. He looked like he hadn’t eaten for days. He was a mess. He freaked me out so I called the police. As they carried him off… He was yelling something strange. I don’t know why. Oh well…

 

December 14, 1997

 

Today was very strange… At my Jujitsu class… all the boys started to try and talk to me. They were all very… weird… Even eleventh graders tried to crowd me. They never tried to talk to me before… but I thought it was just because I am… pretty. I’m not being like conceited or anything… but everybody just tells me that I’m going to become a model when I’m going to grow up… But… before… people would just glance at me nervously… Today… these guys were going crazy. My mom looked very worried… she took me home immediately… When we came home… she held me and started to cry. She told me that she was sorry… I don’t know why she was so sad…

 

Jon: The rest of the pages are unreadable!

 

Khoi: yeah right! Lemme see this! ::grabs the diary:: It says here… today… I got… my penis? Huh?! Ewww!

 

Joe: ::looks at the word:: It says… today… I got my puppy.

 

Khoi: ::shifts eyes:: Yeah… I knew that…

 

Jon: Damn… this person must’ve been hot…

 

Joe: Okay… you pedophile… this was written when she was in the sixth grade.

 

Jon: Hey! I LOOK LIKE A SIXTH GRADER!

 

Joe: …so?

 

Jon: …I don’t know.

 

Joe: …stop hanging with Khoi… it’s turning you weird.

 

Khoi: Well… I am the virus! Dududududududu!

 

The next day at school.

 

Joe: Nice locket.

 

Deity: Yeah… my mom gave it to me…

 

Joe: It reminds me of something…

 

Deity: Of what?

 

Joe: YOU’RE EVIL! EVIL! EVIL!

 

At lunch.

 

Seiji: ::looks sick:: Man… I don’t feel good.

 

Joe: Well… you should go out with “the fish.” That’ll cure what ails you!

 

Khoi: “The fish?”

 

Joe: You weren’t there!

 

Khoi: okay! I’ll go back to sleep now! That’s where I dance with Cuong! ::falls asleep::

 

Cuong: ::double takes:: …wait, what did he say?

 

Joe: ::ignoring Cuong:: come on Seiji… think of the fish…

 

Seiji: ::throws up::

 

Joe: …wow… you really don’t like her, do you?

 

Leo: …hmm… could he have gotten sick from last week?

 

Last week…

 

Leo: who wants the crackers?! Dive for it! ::throws the crackers::

 

Joe and Seiji dive for it, it falls in a canister of toxic green stuff.

 

Joe: Eww… I’m not eating it anymore…

 

Seiji digs it out and starts to eat it.

 

Seiji: Haha! It’s still good!

 

Back to the present.

 

Leo: nah… couldn’t be that.

 

Joe: Dude… Seiji… that’s nasty…

 

Mr. Kim: AHHH! MY FLOOR! ::grabs Charles:: CHARLES! WHY DIDN’T YOU LOOK AFTER MY STUFF?!

 

Charles: Umm…

 

Khoi: I say you kill him!

 

Charles: Dude! Shut up!

 

Mr. Kim: Are you telling me to shut up?!

 

Charles: uhh… yes! No! Wait!

 

Later… in Seiji’s math class.

 

Sophack: Dude… Seiji… you look really bad… even worse than you usually look.

 

Seiji: I think I should go home… and play some more…

 

Sophack: Oh damn… man… did you learn how to look fucking sick so that you can get out of class and play that stupid game?

 

Seiji: No…

 

Sophack: Well… getting sick is what you get… I’d get sick too if I lived with your little brother and sister…

 

Back with Joe…

 

Joe: That’s just the way it is… things’ll never be the same…

 

Khoi: Stop rapping! YOU’RE ASIAN!

 

Joe: Hey… haven’t you ever heard of Drunken Tiger?… wait a minute… never mind… forget I said anything. They’re nothing compared to Eminem, Tupac, Twista… uhh… who else? Weird Al Yankovich? Uhh… well… at least they’re better than 50 cent.

 

Khoi: Hey… is that a tiger that drank too much?

 

Joe: …I have no idea.

Khoi: HEY! YOU FORGOT THE GREATEST RAPPER OF ALL TIME!… Mike Shinoda!

 

Joe: …you’re an idiot… I’d rather kill myself than listen to that guy rap.

 

Khoi: But he’s so fine… ::drools::

 

Joe: …isn’t it strange… I like basically everything, Cuong likes Rock Bands like SugarCult, and you… like Jessica Simpson, Boa, and Trish.

 

Khoi: Hey! Don’t forget Usher!

 

Joe: …actually, I like Usher too… I mean! No I don’t…

 

Joe and Khoi are in line for something…

 

Joe: Umm… so what’s this line for again?

 

Khoi: Uhh… Santa Claus?

 

Joe: Sweet… I’m going to ask for a Barbie doll!

 

Khoi: I’m going to ask for plastic surgery!

 

Joe and Khoi: YAY!

 

Back with Seiji… what’s with all these random Joe Ho moments?

 

Seiji: ::playing Final Fantasy XI again and looking sick::

 

Seiji’s mom: Seiji! Stop playing that game! It’s making you sick!

 

Seiji: No… I need it… it’s like life support.

 

Seiji’s mom: Seiji! Don’t you have any friends?!

 

Seiji: Yeah… Wo0t123 and Gam3rX4you

 

Seiji’s mom: …

 

That night… at a chemical factory… a figure sneaks in…

 

Guard: hey! What the?!

 

Hitokiri: ::points palm at the guard:: Sleep… ::Guard falls asleep::

 

Hitokiri goes into the factory as the presidential debates are going on in the Television the guard was watching.

 

George Bush: We must stick to the facts… and the facts are that Iraq is the factory of terrorists!

 

John Kerry: I agree that we must stick to the facts… and the fact is that… Dick Cheney’s daughter… who is a lesbian… is indeed… a lesbian.

 

George Bush: I believe that marriage needs to be protected… and the best way to do so is to kill all the gays and lesbians!… I mean… make a bill banning gay marriage.

 

John Kerry: Well… Dick Cheney’s daughter… who, mind you, is a lesbian… deserves to have every right to marry her love partner… who is also a lesbian. That’s Dick Cheney’s daughter…

 

Moderator: umm… I didn’t even ask you guys questions yet.

 

George Bush: Questions aren’t important. Questions just hinder action. Irrelevant questions like “Why are we fighting Iraq?” “Who’s going to be the next president?” “Where’s my mommy?”… all of these just hinder gun blazing action… if there’s anything former president Clint Eastwood taught us… is that cowboys always win…

 

Moderator: :[pic]: Huh?

 

John Kerry: I believe questions are important… questions such as… “Is Dick Cheney’s daughter a lesbian?” Also, if I am made president… I will lower taxes on health care… and make sure that the middle class and lower class have benefits… not the high class… ::coughs:: Dick Cheney’s daughter is a lesbian.

 

George Bush: Well… I’ll make sure that the HIGH class has the advantage… I’ll also make a candy act, which gives every United States Citizen the right to have free candy.

 

John Kerry: Mr. Bush, would you please stick to relevant facts? Facts such as Dick Cheney’s daughter is a lesbian?

 

Moderator: ::covering his head with his arms:: Sigh… just… hurry up and end this… closing statements gentlemen.

 

John Kerry: If I am made president… I will allow average citizens… such as Dick Cheney’s lesbian daughter… to have all the advantages given to the rich class… CLASS OF ’47 RULES!

 

Moderator: God… Mr. Bush…

 

George Bush: Don’t mess with Texas!

 

Moderator: ::head explodes::

 

John Kerry: Did I mention I’ll give new heads to the exploded head population?

 

Anyways… Hitokiri goes into the chemical factory…

 

Hitokiri: This is it… the chemical… I’ve traced the origins of the powers to here… ::looks inside the giant tub of green stuff:: …No way! I can’t believe it!

 

The next day at school.

 

Joe: Khoi… I’ve been wondering about something…

 

Khoi: …Are you asking me to Prom?

 

Joe: what?! Hell no! It’s that… we’ve been searching for the origin of our powers and why we have them… umm… why didn’t we ever check that canister?

 

Khoi and Joe are in Mr. Kim’s room… and the canister that says “Toxic” is right next to them.

 

Joe: I mean… it’s pretty obvious our powers came from that… and it’s all over our school. It’s not like we couldn’t find it.

 

Khoi: …I wonder what’ll happen if we drink some more…

 

Joe and Khoi: Hmm…?

 

Joe and Khoi’s imagination: They’re all buff and have every superpower known to man.

 

Joe: Let’s do it!

 

Joe and Khoi start drinking the “chemical!”

 

Joe: It tastes terrible… like cool-aid…

 

Khoi: Eww… green apple flavor…

 

Mr. Kim walks in…

 

Mr. Kim: AHHH!! MY SECRET STASH OF COOL-AID!

 

Joe and Khoi look surprised…

 

Joe: Wait… so… this REALLY is cool-aid?

 

Mr. Kim: OF COURSE IT IS! I JUST HID IT IN THE RADIOACTIVE CAN SO THAT NOBODY ELSE WOULD DRINK IT! WHAT DID YOU THINK IT IS?! SOME SUPER POWER GIVING THING?!

 

Joe: uhh… of course not…

 

Khoi: Umm… so… we didn’t get our powers from this can?

 

Joe and Khoi: ::look at each other:: Dun dun dun…

 

Joe: wait a minute… why the hell am I acting like Jon? ::shudders:: This chapter’s so freaking random…

 

Khoi: I know… I mean… basically it’s just me and you doing random stuff… with the background action of Seiji being sick.

 

Joe: Yeah… It’s as if this story’s being written by a lame asian guy who is listening to some weird Gundam music as he’s writing this…

 

Khoi: yeah… probably Charles…

 

Joe: yeah… can’t be someone cool… like Joe…

 

Anyways… later on… Joe, Charles, Cuong, and Khoi have met up to share their discoveries.

 

Charles: Wait… so… that really was cool aid?

 

Cuong: But… then… why did Charles, Seiji, and Leo’s water turn to cool-aid when Necro appeared? Wasn’t that how Charles got his power?

 

Khoi: umm… ::shifts eyes::

 

The night Necro gave the curse seals to Seiji, Leo, and Charles…

 

Necro: ::in front of Charles’ house, his hand stops glowing:: Heh, mission complete… tomorrow… you’re going to help me get ID and SS… ::runs off::

 

Khoi walks by with a wagon full of cool-aid mix.

 

Khoi: I had a really big hankering for cool aid late at night… phew… ::notices something in the ground:: Hey! What is that? ::looks around idiotically::

 

Khoi grabs onto it…

 

Khoi: It won’t come out of the ground! ::pulls harder::

 

A huge pipe comes out and explodes with water… The water absorbs all of Khoi’s cool-aid mix.

 

Khoi: uhh… ::reads the sign by the pipe:: Water main… uhh… whoops? ::backs away slowly::

 

Back in the present…

 

Khoi: I don’t know… ::shifts eyes even more::

 

Cuong: Anyways… then… that means… our powers came from somewhere else?

 

At the N.O.D.A.T.S.S.T.U.P.I.D. head quarters… Joule is speaking to the mysterious boss man…

 

Mysterious guy: What is it?

 

Joule: I gathered the data on ID… and I believe from SSE, we’ve got the data on SS…

 

Mysterious guy: ::tapping his fingers on his desk:: good… good… you look troubled… what is it?

 

Joule: Sir… The report on SS and ID… said that they were given chemicals that gave them powers… All the soldiers were told that… but… what about that other guy with powers… the guy with the shadows…? Necro’s seal at that point would’ve only made him mad and given him dragon powers… But… he also got shadow powers… at the time, me, Necro, and Venus thought that it was just Necro’s powers evolving… but… at that fight… Necro failed to steal away that guy’s shadow powers… That means that the shadow powers… were not given to him by Necro…

 

Mysterious guy: ::still tapping his fingers:: I suppose Necro must’ve failed to take those away… Also… How did you, SSE, and Necro get your powers? Tell me again…

 

Joule: …You gave us chemicals… since we were young.

 

Mysterious guy: That’s right… and that’s how those others got their powers…

 

Joule: But sir…

 

Mysterious guy: That’s all Joule…

 

Joule: ::salutes:: Yes sir…

 

Joule walks out of the room. The mysterious guy presses a button on his table which opens up a secret door behind his bookshelf.

 

Mysterious guy: Joule seems to be getting suspicious… ::goes into the secret door and ends up in a pure white room… with only one item in it… There’s a beat up paper in a glass case with symbols on it::

 

The mysterious guy opens the glass case and picks up the paper.

 

Mysterious guy: Hehehe… the legend… it will commence… The path for ultimate power… ::pulls out three small items from his jacket: a ring, a necklace, and a small piece of cloth::

 

The mysterious guy begins to read the scroll with mysterious symbols on it.

 

Mysterious guy: The assassin of flame, the guardian of love, the swordsman of darkness, the belief of hope, the guidance of light… the messenger of wind… ::gets tired of reading:: and the rest… will form… the gateways to Ragnarok, Heaven, and Hell. The one who enters Ragnarok will gain absolute power… at the price of…

 

He looks at the rest of the scroll.

 

Mysterious guy: I can’t read the rest of this shit… Damn ancient writing… ::picks up the three items:: Heh… would you believe Joule… that these created the chemicals… you and your counterparts took?

 

At Khoi’s house… he’s having another dream… but not like the weird one he talked about before.

 

Khoi: Where is this?

 

It’s an ancient town… a guy comes out of a small store chasing a girl.

 

Jason: hahaha… you know you love me…

 

Woman: Sir! You flatter me… but I must go…

 

Jason: Come now! Stay!

 

Khoi: Hey! It’s Jason! OoOOOoooh! What’s he doing in this weird place?

 

Suddenly, a shuriken lands in the ground right next to Jason.

 

Jason: What the?! ::draws a sword:: Who’s there?!

 

A guy dressed in black ninja attire is on the roof, he jumps down.

 

Ninja guy: ::he has two short ninja swords strapped to the back of his belt and has a long black scarf trailing from his neck to the ground:: You’re a master of the secret arts… are you not? Jason…

 

Khoi: This isn’t like my other dreams… there’d be Jon in here! This must be… Jason’s dream?

 

Ninja guy: I’m here to kill you… I won’t let Ragnarok be released!

 

Jason: Ragnarok? Who told you of such things…?

 

Khoi: Uhh… ragnarok? As in the online game and sword for from Final Fantasy?

 

Ninja guy: ::draws his two swords:: When all the guardians of the crescent moon gather… The gates will open… I cannot allow that to happen! This is for GOD!

 

The ninja guy rushes… The clash and jump away from each other..

 

Jason: The rumored assassin of flame… Came all the way from that island just to attack me?

 

Khoi: ::notices a mountain in the distance:: …hey… this place… it looks kinda like… California?

 

Ninja guy: Not just to attack you… to kill you… ::collapses:: Damn it…

 

Jason: Well… ::puts his hands in his pockets:: That’s what you get… I’m guessing you used your powers to run here… No wonder you’re out of energy… and no wonder you weren’t using your flame to attack… ::makes a crazy 8:: I’ll kill you now… it’ll take care of problems later.

 

Ninja guy: Dammit…

 

Voice: STOP!

 

Khoi wakes up.

 

Khoi: ::starts punching his head:: DAMMIT JASON! I WANTED TO HAVE A WET DREAM ABOUT SOMEONE… BUT NOOOOO! I HAD TO HAVE A DREAM ABOUT YOU!

 

Jason: I didn’t understand that dream… that was me in the dream wasn’t it?

 

Khoi: ::sarcastically:: No, really… who said that? ::looks around idiotically::

 

Jason: I don’t know why… but that dream… seemed very nostalgic… and sad…

 

Khoi: Shut up! ::goes back to sleep::

 

In another place… Hitokiri is thinking about his discovery at the chemical plant.

 

Hitokiri: That… was… cool-aid… Something’s missing from this equation… sigh… I wish I knew what it was…

 

Hitokiri suddenly looks sick…

 

Hitokiri: Not good… I’m… I need to go back! ::rushes back somewhere::

 

Charles is about to go out in his car…

 

Charles: Damn Thao… making me go get her pizza stix…

 

Suddenly, Hitokiri is jumping from roof to roof in the direction of Pacific Drive.

 

Charles: Huh?! What was that?

 

Charles chases after him… Charles turns a corner and runs into Seiji who’s walking the other direction.

 

Seiji: Ow!

 

Charles: Ow! Seiji! What are you doing up?!

 

Seiji: I’m walking to Ralphs… I need medicine… to play Final Fantasy…

 

Charles: Dude! Stop playing that game! Anyways… did you see some weird guy run by here?

 

Seiji: Weird guy?

 

Charles: Yeah!

 

Seiji: ::shakes his head:: Nope…

 

Charles: Dammit! ::runs off::

 

Seiji: ::collapses on the ground:: So sick…

 

Suddenly… mysterious voices echo in Seiji’s head.

 

Voice #1: It’s happening… we have to stop it…!

 

Voice #2: I can’t hold it for long…!

 

Voice #1: Dammit! Where’s the scroll?! Where is it?!

 

Voice #3: I hid it…

 

Voice #1: What?! You! What did you do?!

 

Voice #3: I will enter the gate… to bring her back!

 

Voice #4: No… you don’t understand.

 

Noise of crunching…

 

New voice: Heh… nobody’s going to enter the gate… and we’re all going to die.

 

Voice #3: You fool! YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU HAVE DONE!

 

Seiji: Ugh… ::grabs his head::

 

Khoi: Ugh… ::grabs his crotch:: Who did that?

 

Seiji: Huh? Khoi?

 

Khoi: ::looks scared:: WHERE?! WHERE IS IT?! WHERE’S THE KHOI?!… oh… ::shifts eyes:: right…

 

Seiji: Can you take me home?

 

Khoi: ::gasps:: Seiji… are you inviting me in?

 

Seiji: What?… wait… why are you even here?

 

Khoi: Well… I had a dream about a guy… then I went to the dentist’s…

 

At the dentist’s…

 

Dentist: So… you’re here to get your wisdom teeth out…

 

Khoi: Wisdom teeth?! I thought I was here to get a blow job!

 

Dentist: Wait… repeat that…

 

Khoi: that…

 

Dentist: No, THAT!

 

Khoi: No, THAT!

 

Dentist: Whatever, let’s get on with the operation…

 

Khoi: Operation blow job?

 

Dentist: NO!

 

Khoi: Then I’m leaving! Hmph! ::Khoi walks out::

 

Back with Seiji

 

Khoi: And then I went “HMPH!” and I left… meh…

 

Seiji: …I see.

 

Khoi: Shut up! ::kicks Seiji in the nuts::

 

Seiji: Ow! Why’d you do that?

 

Khoi: Uhh… who said that? ::looks around idiotically:: ooOOOoooh!

 

Anyways, Khoi returns Seiji to Seiji’s house with little incident on the way… unless you count Khoi rubbing Seiji’s butt an incident… Meanwhile, Deity is in a kind of pub with Joule.

 

Joule: Well, have you gotten all the data from ID and SS?

 

Deity: Yup…

 

A waitress comes.

 

Waitress: What’ll it be?

 

Deity: Hmm… I’ll have a Samuel Adams… hahahaha! Just kidding! Bring one of every drink you have in this place.

 

Joule: Is your salary really that big?

 

Deity: Well, you are going to pay half... and we do have pretty big salaries.

 

Joule: Hmm… I guess so.

 

Deity: What’s bugging you?

 

Joule: I don’t understand. We were given chemical supplements ever since we were born and with all that… it took us twelve years to realize our powers. I can’t believe that ID and SS took one sip of a chemical and just suddenly turned like that.

 

Deity: Well, they had a lot of time to perfect it.

 

Joule: I guess… but still, I can’t help feeling that I’m missing something important.

 

Deity: ::slings her arm on the shoulder of her chair:: Geez, come on… I’m the one who has to hang out with those guys all day… and trust me… they’re freaking strange. So, all you do is think about random stuff like this.

 

Waitress: Umm… ::has all the drinks, with difficulty:: Do you guys have money for all of this?

 

Joule throws a wad of cash at the waitress.

 

Joule: The change is your tip.

 

Waitress: … ::walks away::

 

Deity: Hmm… I can’t even drink.

 

Joule: Then why’d you order this much?

 

Deity: Because I can…

 

Joule: ::picks up a drink and sips it:: There, I’m done… Shall we go?

 

Deity: Fine. ::smiles::

 

Joule and Deity leave. Joe is at the library researching something on the computer.

 

Joe: N.O.D.A.T.S.C.H.E.E.S.E.? Wrong company… do they even exist?… I can’t find anything on them.

 

Jon: What are you looking for?

 

Joe: Umm… none of your business?

 

Jon: Okay! ::runs off:: I’m going to meet my new girlfriend! Sharon Esteedees! I love Sharon Esteedees!

 

Joe: …right…

 

Joe note: This is getting so tiresome right now… this chapter is so complicated to write… Damn… I’m already like 5 chapters ahead as of this point… maybe I’ll take a five week break… and release only one chapter each week… Sounds like a plan… nah…

 

To be continued… this story has been cut short… because Joe has a great urge to write about something different… so here is a new show… called Cory’s Corner: Comments on Life…

 

Cory: Hello there, I am Cory Yee… yes… the lovable hat wearing psychopath…! Recently I have taken to wearing a tie on average every day clothes… why act like a Avril Lavigne wannabe you ask? Because I can CRAPFACE!… Excuse me… anyways… there are many practical uses for wearing said tie… Ever since the tie was invented… by uhh… Aliens!

 

Alien #1: Our heads keep popping off!

 

Alien #2: Yes… strangely!

 

Alien #3: Hey guys! I tied my head to my body with this fabric… it’s not only practical! It looks cool!

 

Aliens #1 and #2: Sweet!… You’re styling now! ::heads fall off::

 

Cory: In addition to the use of the tie to keep your head firmly connected to your body… there’s the use of the tie for many other things… such as in this example.

 

Khoi: Sigh… ::in the restroom, taking a dump:: Oh no! No more toilet paper! Good thing I wore my tie today!

 

Cory: Yes, imagine what could’ve happened if he DIDN’T have his tie that day… I’ll tell you what would’ve happened! BAD THINGS! Now… let’s see another use of the tie… demonstrated by me! Cory Yee! Let’s see me hitting on a girl without a tie!

 

Cory: Hey baby!…

 

Girl: Go away loser…

 

Cory: ::points and clicks his tongue:: Okay!

 

Cory: Now let’s see me with the tie!

 

Cory: Hey baby!

 

Girl: Ooooh… a tie… how manly…

 

Cory: Oh yeah…

 

Cory: So as you can see… A tie is very practical…

 

Joe: Wait a minute… Those examples sucked… what are you smoking?

 

Cory: Shut up crapface! Ties are cool!

 

Joe: I don’t get it… I mean… if you’re wearing a tie to make some sort of social message like “I don’t care what you think.” Isn’t it kind of odd that you are trying to fit into the “cool” norm of “loserdom” that many people strive for today? I mean trying to make that kind of statement while wearing converses and trying to be a social rebel doesn’t really show that you’re going against society, but rather going with it. I mean… if you really wanted to make a statement, you should wear nothing to school. That would have the biggest impact of all.

 

Cory: …silence! Wench!

 

Joe: Also, that stylized name calling you use is obviously used to mask yourself by exterior means. While calling other people names, when obviously you are not qualified to make judgments on others is obviously a cry for attention. If indeed, people think it is cool to be a “social outcast” and try to push people away… they are not trying to be outcasts but rather are doing everything they can to fit in.

 

Cory: …@_@… ::head explodes::

 

Joe: …why? Why must that always happen?

 

Next time on Cory’s corner: Pokemon and white supremacy

9th installment: A brave new world

 

Justin: Must study… study harder… study harder… ::walking through the school reading a Calculus Book::

 

He passes by Joe and Cuong.

 

Joe: ::listening to music::

 

Cuong: ::listening to music::

 

Joe: Senses Fail is pretty good...

 

Cuong: ::singing along with the song:: Tell me your fantasies… I will make you believe…

 

Joe: …

 

Justin: HEY! CAN YOU GET OUTTA MY WAY?! SOME OF US HAVE STUDYING TO DO!

 

Joe: …geez…

 

Cuong: ::singing:: ::moving hands back and forth in metronome motion:: just like the lady in the blue dress…

 

Joe: ::smacks Cuong:: Stop that!

 

Justin: Dropouts! Go away!

 

Joe: ::stepping up:: Make us! ::trips and falls on his face::

 

Justin: right… ::looks back in his book and runs away::

 

Joe: ::gets back up and brushes himself off:: Dammit… I’m not going to take any shit this week… I haven’t found anything on that company…

 

Cuong: At least they’re not after me! Hahahahaha…

 

Joe: ::smacks Cuong:: If we go down… you’re coming with us…

 

Cuong: ::kicks Joe in the nuts:: Like hell I am!

 

Joe: ::sprawled out on the ground:: yes you are! ::punches Cuong in the nuts::

 

Cuong: Ow! ::falls to the ground grabbing his balls::

 

Khoi walks past… then backs up…

 

Khoi: Is this a nuttapping party? Let me join! ::nuttaps himself::

 

Cuong, Joe, and Khoi are sprawled out on the floor, grabbing their balls.

 

Khoi: Whee!

 

Joe: …so… anything new Khoi?

 

Khoi: Meh… not really… except for that weird dream about…

 

Joe: I don’t want to know.

 

Cuong: damn you all!

 

Later in Class…

 

Cuong: Is it just me… or has Justin’s head grown abnormally big?

 

Justin’s head is the size of a large watermelon.

 

Joe: No clue… Hey Justin! Why your head be so big?!

 

Justin: …Be quiet… some of us are trying to study…

 

Joe: Hey man! Don’t be hatin’!

 

Justin: And why are you speaking like that?!

 

Joe: Man… I talk like this because I’m a cool cat… ya know what I’m saying?

 

Cuong: …No seriously… why are you talking like that?

 

Joe: I don’t know… I’ll stop now.

 

Justin: Uggggghhhh… you make me so mad… that I could just… ::a boil on his forehead is pulsating::

 

Joe: Ugh… that’s kinda gross…

 

A pen is suddenly thrown at Joe’s face.

 

Joe: OW! Who did that? ::grabs face::

 

Justin: Uhh… ::leaves::

 

At N.O.D.A.T.S.S.T.U.P.I.D. headquarters…

 

Joule: Sir… when do we make our move?

 

Mysterious guy: Hmm… Don’t worry about it… I’ll know when it’s time.

 

Joule: Sir… why haven’t we moved yet?

 

Mysterious guy: …that’s not something you should be concerned with… now leave me alone…

 

Joule: ::salutes:: Yes sir…

 

Joule leaves… the mysterious guy presses a button… a flat screen monitor appears with Joe, Cuong, Khoi, and Charles on the screen in some sort of diagram.

 

Mysterious guy: I need to draw the rest of you out… by giving more random people powers…

 

Joule is looking through a crack in the door.

 

Joule: What… is that weird diagram… He’s giving other people powers?… what is he trying to find? Why am I whispering aloud to myself?

 

Back at school…

 

Joe: I swear… if I catch the guy who threw that pen…

 

Khoi: you’ll do nothing? And hope he doesn’t throw another one at you?

 

Joe: …::drops head down sadly:: Yes…

 

Khoi: Well, anyways! My dream the other day had a ninja in it!

 

Joe: Khoi… I don’t want to know… about your sick dreams… about Ninjas and unicorns…

 

Khoi: NINJAS AND UNICORNS?! WHO GAVE YOU MY DIARY?! WHO?!

 

Joe: …and why is your screenname Yellow ninja? I mean… you’re not much of a ninja if you’re wearing yellow… unless you’re in Naruto.

 

Khoi: …Yellow’s manly…

 

Joe: Right… ::sarcastically:: Jon is manly too…

 

Khoi: I know! Why doesn’t anybody else notice?! He’s so hot…

 

Joe: Uhh… I was being sarcastic…

 

Khoi: Oh… ::shifts eyes:: As… was… I…

 

Joe: …right… Oh well… hey, how about we take a break from fighting all these weird guys and let Cuong and Charles do all the work for once…

 

Khoi: Aww… but I like touching bad guys…

 

Joe: …Right…

 

Khoi: Don’t make me hug you!

 

Joe: … ::runs away::

 

Khoi: Come back here! And take your hug like a woman! ::chasing Joe:: Don’t make me kiss you!

 

Later… with Cuong and Charles…

 

Cuong: So… what’d you want to see me about?

 

Charles: ::turning around with a grave look on his face:: Let’s become one…

 

Cuong: …Ugh… are you asking me out?

 

Charles: No! ::normal again:: Let’s combine our powers for a super attack that will be soooo super that it’ll be more super than superman…

 

Cuong: …you really need to work on your vocabulary…

 

Charles: So then… here’s what we’re going to do… First, I shoot out light… then you shoot out shadow… then we combine them into the super!… Hey! Come back!

 

Cuong: ::running away, his back is off in the distance:: Sorry! Not interested!

 

Charles: ::charles style:: Damn… he’ll come back… they always come back… Hey! A cookie! ::picks up the cookie off the ground… there’s a salsa cup next to it:: Gasp! ::points:: YOU! AHHHHHHHHH! ::runs away screaming like a little girl::

 

Leo walks by and sees the cookie…

 

Leo: hey! A cookie! Must be my lucky day! ::looks around to see if anybody is looking… he puts it down his pants:: Oh yeah… Sweet… sweet milano…

 

The cookie falls out of Leo’s pants.

 

Leo: Oh well… that’s that… ::walks away::

 

Khoi walks by and sees the cookie.

 

Khoi: Hey! A cookie! Must be my lucky day! ::picks it up and eats it:: ::look of disgust:: Eww… tastes like Leo’s balls… ::shifts eyes:: Not that I… know what his balls taste like…

 

Khoi begins to back away slowly and runs away. Joe walks by.

 

Joe: …sigh… dammit… where’d the ho go? ::sees the salsa cup:: a salsa cup? Hmm… ::picks it up:: hehehe… I’ll dump this into Deity’s backpack… because… SHE’S EVIL!!! EVIL!!!

 

The next day at school…

 

Teacher: Wtf is wrong with you?! How dare you pour salsa into another student’s backpack!

 

Deity: yeah! What’s wrong with you?! ::the teacher turns around… deity flicks off Joe::

 

Joe: SHE’S EVIL! EVIL!

 

Teacher: DETENTION! SUSPENSION!

 

Joe: DAMN! DAMN!

 

Teacher: OUT! OUT!

 

Sophack: …I have no idea what’s going on…

 

Seiji: ::not sick anymore:: I think I know what’s going on… it seems that the chocobo has poured it’s stool into the chimera’s stew…

 

Sophack: DAMMIT SEIJI! STOP USING FINAL FANTASY METAPHORS!

 

Seiji: Hey… don’t go Sephiroth on me now.

 

Sophack: I’ll KILL YOU!

 

Sophack starts to strangle Seiji.

 

Seiji: Limit break! Where’s my limit break?!

 

Sophack: Here’s your limit break! ::smacks Seiji’s head against the wall::

 

Teacher: Sophack!

 

Sophack: Just listen to him talk!

 

Seiji: ::bruises all over his face:: He hit me more times than a cactuar can hit a level 10 with “thousand needles.”

 

Teacher: ::socks Seiji in the face:: You’re right… You’re excused. Seiji, you have a detention!

 

Seiji: wha…? But I can’t play while I’m in there… Mercy! Please have mercy on my soul!…

 

Teacher: You already lost your soul to online gaming…

 

Justin: Could you all be quiet? Some of us are going to become successful and brilliant.

 

Joe: …right… well… some of us are going to… umm… ::thinks of something to make himself look important:: get laid by her! ::points to Deity::

 

Ten seconds later.

 

Sophack: Where do you think Joe is now?

 

Seiji: Probably as far as Balamb is from Midgar.

 

There’s a Joe shaped hole in the ceiling.

 

Sophack: Why does he always do stupid things that end up with him getting hurt somehow?

 

Seiji: Because he has the brain of a iron giant…

 

Everyone bum rushes Seiji and begins to beat the shit out of him.

 

Everyone: Stop making stupid references to Final Fantasy!

 

Okay… later on… in Mr. Kim’s room.

 

Joe: ::rubbing his butt:: The kick and the crashing through the ceiling wasn’t much… but the landing on that stop sign… ow…

 

Cuong: Yeah… Charles is scaring me… he won’t leave me alone. I think he has a crush on me or something…

 

Charles is breathing hard on the window in front of Mr. Kim’s room.

 

Joe: Umm… why doesn’t he come in? Why is he just breathing on the glass?

 

Cuong: I don’t know…

 

Charles: ::noiseless, mouthing the words:: Let’s fuse our powers together!

 

Joe: Is he saying… let’s use our bowels together?… ugh…

 

Cuong: I think he’s saying… Bets choose tower hours forever?… what does that mean?

 

Khoi: I think he’s saying he loves you…

 

Cuong: ::shudders::

 

Charles runs in.

 

Charles: COME ON! We can be the Chaos Emperor Dragon duo! Light and darkness!

 

Khoi: hmm… or… ::makes grunting noise, kicks Charles in the nuts::

 

Charles: ::sprawled out on the floor:: Darn you… once me and Cuong become one… We’re going to do you!

 

Khoi: Gasp!… wait… repeat that last line again.

 

Cuong: That was disturbing… I’m going to run away now… ::jumps through a window breaking through the glass::

 

Mr. Kim: AHHHH!! THAT WAS MY FAVORITE WINDOW! CHARLES! ::Grabs Charles:: Why didn’t you look after my stuff?!… why are you grabbing your balls?!

 

Khoi: Yes… ::rubs his chin:: why is he… indeed.

 

Joe: …did Charles just say he’s going to do you?

 

Khoi: ::tear:: I thought this day would never come…

 

Later on… at a place formerly knowns as Jon’s.

 

Jon: hey Khoi! You ::shifts eyes:: can’t come in right now…

 

Khoi: why not?

 

Jon: Wait a minute… how did you even know where I live?

 

Khoi: Psh… it’s a Joe story… How could I NOT know where you live?

 

Jon: Oh yeah… well… I’m busy… ::shifts eyes:: Doing stuff.

 

Khoi: Are you too busy for this?! ::takes off his shirt:: Whoo…it’s getting kinda hot out here…

 

Jon: ugh! My eyes! MY EYES!! My beautiful somewhat visible asian eyes!!!

 

Khoi: you know you like it…

 

Jon: ::barfs::

 

Khoi: ::getting mad:: Okay! Now you’re just making me feel bad! Hmph!

 

Justin: ::calling for Jon:: Hey! Am I here to tutor you or not?! I have better things to do!

 

Khoi: Hey! It’s Justin! OooOOooooh!

 

Justin: oh man… I hope that’s not that one gay guy who always tries to hit on my little brother.

 

Khoi: ::making struggling noises:: That was only!… ::whispering:: fifteen times… But you have to admit! He really looks like a hot girl!

 

Justin: he’s four!

 

Khoi: …Umm… I’m a prospective buyer?

 

Justin: He’s a boy!

 

Khoi: …Umm… I love you?

 

Jon: I don’t feel good…

 

Khoi: Well duh, you’re Jon… if I were you, I would have commited suicide years ago…

 

Joe note: I’m not serious Jon… We all love you… in our own ways… which involve horribly horribly insulting your violin scar… which looks like a hickey…

 

Jon: ::tears welling up in eyes:: Mommy! ::runs off::

 

Justin: That’s it… I’m out of here…

 

Khoi: Honk honk! ::grabs Justin’s chest::

 

Justin: What the?!

 

Khoi: Oh come on… you know you like it.

 

Justin: grrr… you make me so mad… that I can…

 

Jason: something doesn’t feel right here… there’s all sorts of energy in the air.

 

Khoi: Right… what’s the worst that can happen?

 

Khoi is suddenly thrown back by some mysterious force and flies far far away.

 

Khoi: AHHHHHHH! BUT I’M NOT KEITARO! TEAM KHOI IS BLASTING OFF AGAIN! WHO said that…. ::star twinkling as he disappears into the distance::

 

Justin: …How’d… I do that? ::boil’s pulsating::

 

Somewhere else… Joe is walking…

 

Joe: ::humming a tune… suddenly a shadow covers up the ground:: Huh? What’s that… ::looks up with wide eyes:: AHHHHH!!

 

Joe starts running around in circles… the shadow’s following him.

 

Joe: What the fuck’s going on?! This isn’t some looney tunes cartoon!

 

Khoi lands on Joe.

 

Khoi: Phew… I survived… good thing I landed on this… Joe.

 

Joe: Get your fatass off me….

 

Khoi: Say please…

 

Joe: ::pushes him off:: GRR!

 

Khoi: Now I understand that you’re angry and upset… but what if I did this? ::makes grunting noise, kicks Joe in the nuts::

 

Joe: Ha! I was prepared by wearing a cup!

 

Khoi: a cup eh? Don’t make me gnaw that cup off!

 

Joe: …umm… look! The sun! ::runs away::

 

Khoi: Where?!!… ::thinks:: Hey! Come back here! ::chases::

 

Later on… Charles knocks on Cuong’s front door.

 

Cuong: dude… what is it… what is THAT?

 

Charles: ::has a Cuong cardboard cut-out:: Imagine this is you and this is me! And imagine our powers combined together!

 

Cuong: Dude… you can’t even control your powers yet… You’ve never really used them…

 

Charles: I tried to make a spirit gun… but all that happened was a fart.

 

Cuong: …I’m going to shut the door now… leave me alone.

 

Charles: Come on… I want to make a special technique! I’ll buy you something! I’ll buy you lunch! Lunch!

 

Cuong: ::about to close the door but stops:: …what kind of lunch?

 

Charles: Umm… one dollar double cheeseburger?

 

Cuong: More…

 

Charles: Two… double cheeseburgers?

 

Cuong: More…

 

Charles: Umm… a bucket of kentucy fried chicken?

 

Cuong: More…

 

Charles: …all you can eat buffet?

 

Cuong: …hmm… these are my demands… All you can eat buffet, Kentucky fried chicken, five double cheeseburgers, six big macs, five breakfast burritos, 2 large pizzas, 10 barbeque ribs, a t-bone steak, a sirloin steak, three baked potatoes with the fixings, five orders of chili cheese fries, one Caesar salad, one mandarin salad, one mandarin salad with chicken, and… a pack of skittles…

 

Charles: …let’s see… 10 + 5 +12 + 15 + 10 + 15 + 10 + 8 +7 +12 + 5 + 5 + 5 + .50 equals… 120 dollars and fifty cents! Why do you need so much food?!

 

Cuong: Well… my cousin, my parents, I’ll send some food over to Georgia… my dog… and the rest of it for me.

 

Charles: …Can I have some?

 

Cuong: …hmm… No I think not.

 

Charles: Umm… I don’t have 120 dollars on me right now…

 

Cuong: Well… that’s a problem…hmm… how much money do you got on you right now?

 

Charles: Ten bucks…

 

Cuong: Okay then… just get me 3 breakfast burritos… and a pack of skittles…

 

Charles: I have some m&m’s in my car, do you want those instead…?

 

Cuong: ::shaking fist:: I said… skittles…

 

Meanwhile… Khoi and Joe are eating steak.

 

Khoi: Where’d we get these steaks?

 

Joe: Oh… they threw these out or the back of Denny’s… something about Mad Cows…

 

Khoi: ::munching:: Score…

 

Joe: Let’s go look for some more free food!

 

Khoi: ::checks watch:: It’s sample time at Costco!

 

Joe: We better hurry! Those greedy people who actually buy stuff may take all the food before us!

 

Khoi: ::shakes fist:: Damn them… I hate them so much…

 

Back with Cuong and Charles…

 

Cuong: Actually, I change my mind… I don’t want to create a new attack… no matter how much food you give me!

 

Charles: You COULD’VE AT LEAST TOLD ME THAT BEFORE YOU ATE THE FOOD!

 

Cuong is bloated.

 

Cuong: Well… I was thinking… duh…

 

Charles: ::charles style:: Damn!

 

Cuong: Well… then… fine… I’ll help you create attacks… for payment for the food.

 

Charles: …Chaos emperor dragon?

 

Cuong: Hmmm… no… and don’t call me Cuong… call me Shiro… Furukawa-SAMA!

 

Charles: Uhh… Cuong…

 

Cuong: That’s SHIRO-SAMA TO YOU! ::smacks Charles with a backhand::

 

Charles: ow… what was that for?

 

Cuong: ::slaps Charles again:: don’t backsass me boy! I’ll whip you harder than my momma whipped me… and that’s really fucking hard.

 

Charles: Why are you talking like that?

 

Cuong: …uhh… Georgia?

 

Charles: Well… until you can prove to me that you’re good enough to be my teacher… then I refuse to learn from you.

 

Cuong: ::smacks Charles:: Is that good enough for you?

 

Charles: ::crying:: Stop doing that! ::runs away wiping away his tears::

 

Cuong: Bye! ::waving:: Come back again… ::turns around angrily, shaking his fist:: Ungrateful student…

 

Cuong’s Mom: Did you make that guy cry again?

 

Cuong: yes…

 

Cuong’s mom: Good! He look-a-like-a-fag!

 

Meanwhile… with Khoi and Joe.

 

Khoi: You know… it’s pretty obvious that Justin has some spooky powers… I wonder if he can strip people with them… imagine the possibilities… ::imagines Boa wearing a honeybun costume:: ::drools::

 

Joe: …I wonder what Khoi thinks about when he drools mindlessly like that…

 

Back with Charles…

 

Charles: Dammit… I need someone to help me to make techniques…

 

The same old man who Khoi freaked a few chapters back is back in a wheelchair.

 

Old man: So… you want new techniques eh? Well, I’m from the hip hop! ::makes a w with his hands:: WEST SIDE! ACK! MY BACK!… ::rolls his wheel chair away:: Crap… my fingers are stuck now… I knew I shouldn’t have done that…

 

Charles: …okay… well… I guess I’ll have to make my own techniques the only way I know how…

 

Ten seconds later… Charles is in his house watching anime. Meanwhile… Justin’s boil has grown twice the size of his body.

 

Justin: …Is this normal?…

 

Little boy: ::staring at the huge boil:: Geez… mista… haven’t you ever heard of clean and clear?

 

Justin: Shut up! You imbecile!

 

Cuong walks by Justin… and backs up to get a better look.

 

Cuong: Uhh… Justin?… why do you have a huge pimple?

 

Justin: It’s not a pimple! It’s obviously… some sort of practical joke played by teenagers!

 

Cuong: …uhh… you are a teenager…

 

Justin: DON’T ARGUE WITH ME! Look at me… I’m hideous…

 

Cuong: Well… at least you’re not as bad as Khoi…

 

Justin: Don’t make fun of me… I’ll kill you!

 

The boil pops… a whole mess of energy is released… There’s a huge flash of light…

 

Cuong: Ugh! ::covers his eyes::

 

Where Joe and Khoi are…

 

Joe: …Khoi…

 

Khoi: ::honeybun in his mouth:: what?

 

Joe: is that a huge wave of light coming at us?

 

Khoi: No duh… now let’s whimper and be done with it…

 

Joe and Khoi: ::whimpering::

 

Where Charles is…

 

Charles: ::charles style:: Damn! ::light is flooding across the whole world::

 

Where Seiji is…

 

Seiji: Oh no! The world’s being attacked by Meteor! Only Holy can stop it now! ::gets into the fetal position and starts sucking his thumb::

 

Where sophack is…

 

Sophack: ::sleeping:: Dammit! Turn off the light!

 

Where some little Indian boy is…

 

Indian boy: Hey look! It’s the end of the world!

 

Indian Star reader: I predicted this would happen…

 

Indian boy: Yeah… you ALWAYS predict this is going to happen…

 

Indian star reader: You know what! I don’t like your attitude! OooOOoooh!

 

Where Kevin is…

 

Kevin: …

 

The world is engulfed in light… then the light disappears… Cuong opens his eyes…

 

Cuong: phew! That was some nasty pimple… uhh… where am I? ::Cuong’s in some sort of jungle place:: …umm…

 

A bunch of robots fly by, stop, and hover near Cuong…

 

Robot #1: Civilian unit… why are you not bowing before our metalness?

 

Cuong: …uhh… huh?…

 

Robot #2: How dare you defy lord Justin…

 

Cuong: Lord Justin?… uhh…

 

Robot #1: Looks like we must… kill the… non-believer…

 

A figure jumps out of a tree, kicks off the head of one of the robots, crazy 8’s another and then spin kicks the head off the last one.

 

Cuong: Khoi?… wait… you’re…

 

Ecstasy: ::grabs Cuong by the collar:: What’d you say?! Did you call me Khoi?… HOW DARE YOU!

 

Cuong: Uh oh…

 

Bunch of loud slapping noises… in another area of the world, there’s a bunch of scattered busted up robots… Joe and Khoi are sitting on them.

 

Joe: You know… you’d think that robots are harder to destroy…

 

Khoi: I know… one kiss from me and they all malfunction… WHY DOES THAT ALWAYS HAPPEN?!

 

Joe: Umm… okay… the real question… where are we?

 

Khoi: Or maybe… the real question is… Where aren’t we?… dun dun dun…

 

Joe: …that didn’t make any sense…

 

Khoi: Shut up! Don’t make me throw my blue eyes at you!

 

Joe: Well… we better find a safe place to hide…

 

Khoi: Don’t worry! I’ll just fly to safety!… oh wellz… ::takes out a honeybun and starts to eat it::

 

At a huge castle in some part of the world… Justin is sitting at a huge table with tons of monitors displaying images from all over the globe(people working, poor people, machines enforcing the rules.). He’s also wearing some weird gay looking purple armor.

 

Justin: This world… is mine… ::looks at one monitor with Joe and Khoi on it:: what? They weren’t changed by the boil?… This will be quite the problem… ::looks over to his side:: I’m going to let you deal with it… can you handle it?

 

???????: Yes…

 

Justin: good… hahaha… those fools have no idea that I can see their every move… Are they waving at the camera?!

 

Back to where Joe and Khoi are.

 

Joe: I think that’s the TRL CAMERA! HEY CARSON! CARSON DALY! YOU MO FO! YOU NEVER SENT ME THAT FREE POSTER! YOU SONUVABITCH!

 

Khoi: NO! THAT’S OBVIOUSLY THE WOMEN’S ENTERTAINMENT NETWORK! I LOVE THE VIEW! AND FELICITY! OooOOOooooh! So… hot… but not as hot as Jon… now he takes sizzling to a whole new level… who said that? ::looks around idiotically::

 

Back at Justin’s huge castle.

 

Justin: …It may be much more easier to beat them than I thought…

 

???????: No… they’re strong… I’ll take care of it…

 

Justin: Good… by the way… there seems to be about 5 troublesome people around… I’d like for you to take care of all of them…

 

???????: Consider it done…

 

Justin: Good… by the way… My cat needs to have a bath today…

 

???????: consider it done…

 

Justin: Good… by the way… pick up some pizza stix on the way back…

 

???????: …anything else…

 

Justin: No………………………………….oh wait… also… make sure to capture the one I want…

 

???????: consider it done…

 

Justin: Oh yeah, and one more thing…

 

???????: WHAT?! WHAT IS IT?!

 

Justin: …pick up parts for the Super Decafrabulator on your way back…

 

???????: Done…

 

Justin: …Oh yeah…and also… I AM THE RULER OF THE WORLD! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

???????: yeah… sure… whatever… I’ll be going now…

 

To be continued…

 

Well… here’s another special.. once Cuong ate all of Charles’ food… originally Cuong tells Charles that he’ll make an attack with him if he fights him… let’s see what could have happened.

 

Cuong: fine… if you can beat me in a fight… I’ll create a new thing with you…

 

Charles: Okay then!… wait… instead of going into a fight… why don’t we just make the technique?

 

Cuong: Silence! We do things my way or the highway! Now let’s go to the abandoned highway to have our fight!

 

Charles: …

 

Cuong: of course we’ll need an impartial judge… let’s get Joe and Khoi.

 

Under the abandoned highway…

 

Joe: In this corner wearing the billabong hat and flip flops!

 

Khoi: Cuong “The Tubby” Nguyen!

 

Joe: And in this corner! Wearing a shorts and… flip flops!

 

Khoi: Charles “DAMN!” Hyunh!

 

Joe: Who will win?! The great Cuong! Or the lowly Charles?! The great ape King Cuong! Or the primate Charles?! The nguyen of win! Or the Hyunh of sin!

 

Charles: Hey! Why are you only saying good things about Cuong?!

 

Khoi: fine… who will win?! The Sexy Cuong! Or the Sexy Charles! Now let the stripping match commence!

 

Charles: …

 

Cuong: …

 

Joe: …::eating a pack of skittles that Cuong gave him:: okay… Viet fight ready… GO!

 

Khoi: Wait! ::points at Cuong:: no hitting below the belt! Grabbing below the belt is okay! ::points at Charles:: Uhh… no illegal objects! TAKE OFF YOUR SHORTS!

 

Joe: ::punches Khoi in the face:: Okay… ready… set… Viet fight ready! GO!

 

Do you guys really want to see Cuong and Charles fight?… well… this fight was waaaayyy too violent to put into this site… so while they’re fighting… here’s a happy story about otters.

 

Otter #1: I love swimming!

 

Otter #2: Me too!

 

Suddenly a shark comes and eats them.

 

Shark: Umm… otter buns… ::drooling noise:: Who said that?

 

Well… back to the fight…

 

Charles: ::puts his hands together at his side:: Come at me…

 

Khoi starts to walk toward Charles…

 

Charles: Not you!

 

Khoi: Well, ladeedah… damn Shamu…

 

Joe: did you just call him Shamu?

 

Khoi: Shut up Shamu!

 

Joe: That doesn’t make sense…

 

Khoi: uhh… I love you?

 

Cuong: Dammit! You guys are taking the spotlight from us again!

 

Joe: Well… sorry… we’ll just go and find more free food then.

 

Khoi: No… let’s stay and watch them fight each other… some clothes may get ripped off!

 

Joe: …::shudders::

 

Cuong: Oh well… the match is already over anyways…

 

Charles: Huh?… ::his whole body is tied up by a thin shadow::

 

Cuong: Shadow bind technique… nothing can break that rope of shadow… and I can tighten it if I want to…

 

Joe: Hey! That’s the technique that Jason broke once right?!

 

Cuong: …shut up…

 

Charles: Heh! DAMN! Time for me to show you what many games and animes have done for me…

 

Joe: Uhh… destroy your sex drive?

 

Charles: uhh… no… Kikou-shou! ::a huge sphere of light appears around Charles, disintegrating the shadows, and then the sphere disappears::

 

Joe: Ooh… a defensive move… pretty good. But you jacked it from Chun Li from Marvel Vs. Capcom…

 

Khoi: sigh… if only Charles were Chun Li…

 

Joe: dude… Chun Li isn’t real…

 

Khoi: I know… but she has such nice legs…

 

Charles: HEY! YOU’RE DOING IT AGAIN! STOP TAKING THE SPOTLIGHT FROM US!

 

Joe: fine… continue…

 

Cuong: That defensive technique seems very annoying… let’s test it out… ::sticks palm out at Charles:: Shadow symmetry!

 

Several Cuong shaped shadows rise from the ground.

 

Cuong: Shadow symmetry is a technique that allows me to create a solid form out of my shadows… so here I go! ATTACK!

 

The shadows attack.

 

Charles: Kikou shou! ::The sphere of light extends from Charles’ body again disintegrating the shadows:: Is that it?

 

Cuong: Nope… but I didn’t think I’d have to bust out my new techniques here… Shadow clone… ::several Cuongs pop up from the shadows::

 

Joe: Man… kikou shou, shadow clones… they’re basically just copying techniques from shows and games…

 

Khoi: yeah… they’re not original like my crazy 8!

 

Joe: Or my ryuusei…

 

Khoi: didn’t you used to use shoryuken?

 

Joe: Well, that was at the start when I had nothing else to go by… but still that was pretty cool…

 

Khoi: Yeah… It looked sooo hot… like Ecstasy… ::drools::

 

Joe: She’s evil! Evil!

 

Cuong: STOP TAKING AWAY THE SPOTLIGHT! MINI-ME’S! ATTACK!

 

The Cuongs rush at Charles.

 

Charles: Time to try another technique ::draws back his hand into a fist and absorbs light into it:: SHOTGUN! ::throws his fist forward as five blasts of light fly out at the Cuongs::

 

Cuong #1: Ow!

 

Cuong #2: AHHH!!!

 

Cuong #3: How dare you do this to me!

 

Cuong #4: I knew I shouldn’t have come out of my house!

 

Cuong: …He has a shotgun attack?…

 

Joe: I guess so…

 

Khoi: ::smacks Cuong:: Only I CAN MAKE CLONES! DUDUDUDUDUDUDU!

 

Cuong: … ::kicks khoi in the nuts:: SHUT UP!

 

Khoi: actually that felt good… do it again…

 

Cuong: …

 

Charles: ha! I did the shotgun! HA! HA!

 

Joe: So his techniques right now are the Kikou-shou and Shotgun… I think it’s obvious he’s a long distance fighter… using the kikou-shou for defense and the shotgun for long range…

 

Khoi: Yeah… what a coward… what a charles…

 

Charles: ::points at Joe and Khoi:: SHUT UP! SHUT UP! OMG! WHY WON’T YOU SHUT UP!

 

Cuong: hmm… I’m long range too… this will be hard to win…

 

Charles: Yeah! And I haven’t shown you all of my powers yet!

 

Joe: ehhh… that’s all you have right now isn’t it…

 

Charles: …yeah…

 

Khoi: well… then… I’m going to say that you both win! YOU MAY NOW KISS THE BRIDE!

 

Joe: Huh?

 

Khoi: You shut up! I’m talking here!

 

Joe: Well… Cuong… you know… you could probably cut through the kikou shou… it’s just a big orb of light…

 

Cuong: hey… you’re right…

 

Charles: What?! No he isn’t!

 

Cuong: ::sticks his hand out:: Shadow symmetry… Shadow Windmill! ::a large shuriken made of shadow appears in Cuong’s hand:: Try to block this with your girly move! ::throws the shuriken::

 

Charles: I will! Kikou shou!

 

The shuriken cuts through the orb then disappears.

 

Cuong: Well… if I made it keep going after it cut through the orb… it probably would have killed Charles…

 

Charles: dammit… I lost…

 

Khoi: Cuong! Cuong! He’s our man! If he can’t do it! Someone else probably can!

 

Charles: How could I block something like that?

 

Joe: ::smacks Charles:: Fool! Have you learned nothing from Naruto?! If you make the orb spin while blocking! It will be impenetrable! And you call yourself an asian…

 

Charles: …well it takes a lot of energy to just make the sphere come out.

 

Khoi: that’s why you practice! WHEE!

 

Cuong: yeah… phew… now I don’t need to create a new attack with Charles…

 

Joe: Yeah… but now you need to stop making shadow clones and create new techniques…

 

Cuong: What? Why?

 

Joe: Copyright laws… ::shudders::

 

Cuong: Oh… right…

 

Khoi: Aww… so we won’t let Cuong and Charles take the next case?… but I need a break to work on my beautiful face! MY BEAUTIFUL FACE!

 

Joe: Pff… no… I’m saying we leave the whole situation to Hitokiri…

 

Khoi: Yeah… he seems to be a reliable guy… damn sexy too…

 

Charles: Wait… what are you guys talking about?

 

Joe: Oh… while you guys were arguing about if you should make techniques or not… Justin’s gotten power crazy and is making trouble downtown… He also has telekinetic powers… meh…

 

Cuong: …and you guys didn’t do anything! And just stood here making weird comments and shit!

 

Joe: Dude… it’s our day off… geez…

 

Khoi: I know… so… ::looks Cuong up and down:: What are you wearing?

 

Charles: Hey! We can handle Justin! We’ll do it!

 

Joe: …

 

Khoi: …

 

Joe and Khoi: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

Joe: Okay…

 

Khoi: go do it… we’ll be playing pool.

 

Yeah… this was the original way things were going to happen… too bad…

 

been a while... but it's finally here... the new chapter in the N.O.D.A.T.S.S.T.U.P.I.D. saga WILL NEVER COME! BECAUSE IT'S ENDED... the start of the newest Saga in the series and the true name of the series... lol... T.R.A.N.C.E.: Trance, Ragnarok, And Never Chased Ever.

And now the first installment of T.R.A.N.C.E.

T.R.A.N.C.E.

1st installment: World

Joe: Sigh… how’d we end up in a jungle fighting robots?

 

Khoi: Uhh… joe… I think the real question here is how’d we end up in a jungle fighting robots…

 

Joe: …That’s what I said…

 

Khoi: …So… where are the honeybuns?

 

Joe: ummm… there are no honeybuns here… it’s a jungle…

 

Khoi: :[pic]: HAHAHAHAHA! Silly Joe… everybody knows that honeybuns come out of honeybun trees…

 

Joe: umm… honeybuns are pasteries…

 

Khoi: No… they’re fruit… Next you’re going to tell me that a steak is not a vegetable! OooOOOOoooh!

 

Joe: …steak is a meat…

 

Khoi: …umm… I knew that… So… where are we now?

 

Joe: I don’t know…

 

Khoi: Well then… I’m going to go get some honeybuns…

 

Joe: Sigh…

 

Joe and Khoi start to walk in a random direction. Meanwhile… with Cuong and Deity…

 

Cuong: You didn’t have to slap me so many times…

 

Deity: yes I did! You called me Khoi you bastard!

 

Cuong: …understandable…

 

Deity: So… what did you fuckers do to horribly horribly change the world? I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF TAKING A BATH!

 

Cuong: … ::thinks:: Gotta keep that image in my head until I get home…

 

Deity: ………why… why was I cursed to walk the earth with losers?

 

Cuong: Correction! LoOser-kun!

 

Deity: …I think I’m going to kill myself.

 

Khoi and Joe reach a shabby looking village.

 

Khoi: Gasp… it’s so ghetto…

 

Joe: hmm… yeah… it’s so ghetto that it makes the ghetto look even more… ghettoish?

 

Khoi: uhh… the who in the what now?

 

People wearing potato sacks stare at Joe and Khoi.

 

Person#1: Gasp… outsiders… not wearing potato sacks…

Person#2: Gasp… outsiders… not wearing potato sacks…

 

Khoi: ::pointing at the people:: Gasp… insiders… wearing potato sacks… oooOOOOoooh!

 

Jon: ::wearing a potato sack:: Stop! Halt! Desist! I am Jon! The chief of this village! What brings you hither!

 

Joe: Uhh… Jon… why are you wearing a potato sack?

 

Jon: Because… his lord Justin demands it! He also demands we wear thongs! They’re not only practical! They’re damn sexy!

 

Khoi: …it’s like a dream come true… ::points to Joe:: Where’s your thong?!

 

Joe: …shut up! Where’s your thong?!

 

Khoi: I’m wearing it… duh…

 

Joe: …I think I’m going to be sick.

 

Jon: Well then, welcome to our village… potato sacks are five dollars at the door, thongs can be picked up at the hut on potato street.

 

Joe: Uhh… no thanks… I’d rather stay… thongless…

 

Jon: …but… but… but… Justin commands it!

 

People: ::drone like voices:: Justin…

 

Khoi: …you mean the one guy with the huge boil… who has a fine ass rack?

 

Joe: …huh?

 

Khoi: You know what I’m talking about… eh… ::clicks tongue and winks:: OR I’LL THROW MY BLUE EYES AT YOU!

 

Jon: You’re… going to throw blue eyes at him? Who did you take these blue eyes from… and can they still see?

 

Joe: …Jon… stop kidding around… and damn! Wear a longer potato sack! That one leaves nothing to the imagination…

 

Khoi: …hmm… I like it… ::takes out fifty bux:: I’ll take 25 potato sacks!

 

Joe: …so you won’t lend me money to buy a drink… but you’ll spend fifty bucks on potato sacks?

 

Khoi: …well duh… stoOpid

 

Joe: …right…

 

Jon: well… it’s now 12:00… time for our pledge to his shininess…

 

Joe: How do you know it’s twelve?

 

Jon: Our thongs vibrate at 12:00… built in thing…

 

Khoi: I’ll take a hundred of those… mmm…. Better make it 2 hundred… who knows when the vibrator will quit! OooOOOoooh!

 

Joe: …this is very very disturbing…

 

Khoi: Hey joe…

 

Joe: What?

 

Khoi: wanna be my thong buddy?

 

Joe: …. ::barfs::

 

Khoi: You know you want to!………………………………………you can stop barfing any day now………… okay, now you’re just making me feel bad.

 

Charles arrives into the village.

 

Charles: I finally found you! Now I can eliminate you… then go get the pizza stix for Justin.

 

Khoi: Shut up! Men with thongs are talking here!… I wonder if that would be a good gay movie… “Shut up! Men with Thongs are Talking Here!”… then I can make the sequel! “Silence! Men with Thongs are Wrestling here!” ooooOOOOooooh!

 

Joe: Uhh… ::mysteriously stopped barfing:: Charles… what are you doing?

 

Charles: I’m going to eliminate you two for master Justin!

 

Joe: …right… and… who’s Justin again?

 

Charles: He’s the leader…

 

Joe: Yeah, yeah… whatever… but WHO is he?

 

Charles: Umm… the leader?

 

Joe: …sigh…

 

Khoi: hee hee… Charles wants to “eliminate us.” It sounds so funny coming from him… almost like a squirrel threatening a tiger with a acorn… ::thinks:: Or… a tiger threatening a squirrel with an acorn… or…

 

Charles: SHUT UP! SHUT UP! OMG! WHY WON’T YOU SHUT UP?1

 

Joe: yup… that’s Charles… I wonder why he’s working with Justin…

 

Charles: It’s because it’s a cool job! I get cash, chicks, and power!… and yu gi oh cards…

 

Khoi: Whoa whoa whoa… Charles… you know that you only get three things… anime, anime, and balls… BOUNCY BOUNCY!… sigh…

 

Joe: You know… I think Charles is serious about “eliminating us.”

 

Khoi: Hahahahaha! Yeah! BUT WHAT IS HE GOING TO DO?! BLIND US TO DEATH?!

 

Joe: YEAH! HAHAHAHAHA! MAYBE HE’LL BE OUR NIGHT LIGHT! HAHAHAHAHA!

 

Khoi: HAHAHAHAHA! MAYBE HE’LL GIVE US BLOW JOBS!

 

Joe: ………………………………wait… what was that last one?

 

Khoi: Oh I’m sorry… HAHAHAHAHAHA! MAYBE HE’LL GIVE US BLOW JOBS! Hee hee… that murderous troll…

 

Joe: What?

 

Khoi: Oh, sorry… ::slams fist into hand, intense look:: That murderous troll…

 

Jon: I’ll be going inside my hut now… and playing with my rocks… and sticks… I wish I could afford a leaf to finish my collection… ::sad look, walks away::

 

Charles: Now then… shall we begin? ::taking a stance::

 

Khoi: wait… lemme ask you one more question…

 

Charles: What?

 

Khoi: What would YOU do for a Klondike bar?

 

Joe: Khoi… what does that have to with anything?

 

Charles: SHUT UP! LET’S GET ON WITH IT!

 

Khoi: umm… in the love sense or the fight sense?

 

Charles: FIGHT SENSE!

 

Khoi: geez…so violent… Where’s the love?

 

Joe: Umm… Khoi… I just realized this… but… after fighting those robots… and after a while in this place… umm… my powers disappeared…

 

Khoi: Pff… hear that Jason… his powers disappeared…

 

Silence…

 

Khoi: Dammit… where’d Jason go without me?! He better not have gone bowling! Because if he did… I’ll just stay home with Phoenix… meh…

 

Joe: Umm… Charles still has powers right?

 

Charles: ::nods::

 

Joe: I see… hmm…

 

Joe note: Chapter… getting… not… funny… must… recuperate… create… funny… will… continue… writing… later…

 

Khoi: Hmm… well… we can stay here and kick Charles in the balls… or we can run away like cowards?

 

Joe: Well… why don’t we just… run away like cowards?

 

Khoi: aww… I’m going to have to run now? Geez… I’d rather stay here and get felt up by Charles…

 

Joe: …you’re sick…

 

Khoi: You know what, I don’t like your attitude… but I do like your ass! HONK HONK!

 

Joe: Grab me and die…

 

Khoi: aww… why does everybody keep on saying that? I just “accidentally” fall and “put” my “hand” on your “ass.”

 

Joe: …then why’d you say “Honk honk?”

 

Khoi: umm… firetruck? HONK HONK!

 

Charles: …

 

Joe: Sigh… fine… let’s run now Khoi!

 

Khoi: Okay! Whee! I’ll fly to safety! ::jumps off a nearby cliff that was very conveniently placed there::

 

Joe: you idiot! ::jumps off the cliff too:: Dammit… why’d I have to jump off?

 

Joe: ::falling:: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

 

Khoi: ::eating bon bons as he falls:: Don’t worry Joe… any second now I’ll fly to safety…

 

Joe: You idiot! We’re going to die…. Hey… don’t you like honeybuns anymore?

 

Khoi: It’s all about bon bons now… by the way have you seen Deity’s bon bons? ::drools::

 

Joe: Omg! I’m going to die with Captain gayness at my side!

 

Khoi: Hey! That’s colonel gayness to you young lady!

 

Joe: My whole life is flashing before my eyes… and why didn’t we hit the ground yet?

 

A whole bunch of girls beating up Joe flash before his eyes… then a bunch of Khoi’s nuttaps… then Badgers and mushrooms…

 

Joe: Damn… my life sucked…

 

Khoi: My life is flashing before my eyes too!

 

Khoi is born… The doctor screams as the baby goes “OOOoooOooh!”

 

Khoi: Hee hee… that doctor was funny…

 

Joe: Huh?

 

Khoi: You shut up! And stop talking!

 

Meanwhile…

 

Cuong: Where are we going?

 

Deity: I don’t know… shut up… I know this is all your fault we’re stuck here!

 

Cuong: how is it my fault?!

 

Deity: You touch yourself at night!

 

Cuong: …are you perchance related to Khoi?

 

Deity: Wait… ::hears something::

 

They stop…

 

Deity: do you hear that?

 

Cuong: sounds like Khoi… and Joe… but where are those voices coming from?

 

Joe falls and Deity catches him.

 

Joe: I’M SAVED! BY SOMEONE! THANK YOU! ::looks:: EVIL! EVIL! LEMME GO!

 

Deity: …It’s raining nerds…

 

Cuong: Where’s Khoi…. Uh oh…

 

Khoi is somehow hovering above Cuong in midair flapping his arms uselessly.

 

Khoi: I can fly! ::drops onto Cuong:: Tubby! You saved me! ::kisses Cuong:: My hero!

 

Cuong: GAAAAH!!! ::seizure, foams at the mouth, unconscious::

 

Joe: …

 

Deity: …why god? ::looks up at the sky::

 

Joe: …You guys are normal? How?

 

Cuong: ::foaming some more… bubbles pop out::

 

Joe: Oh… I see…

 

Deity: There was this huge flash of light… and we somehow ended up here…

 

Khoi: so… wanna go out?

 

Deity: I think the answer to that is obvious… NO!

 

Joe: …so… do you guys still have your powers?

 

Cuong: ::another bubble comes out::

 

Khoi: Hee hee… just like Krabby…

 

Joe: huh?

 

Khoi: Don’t make me crabhammer your ass… ::shifts eyes::

 

Deity: Of course I still have my powers…

 

Joe: Well… why don’t me and Khoi have our powers?

 

Cuong: ::suddenly well again:: I don’t know… but if you kiss me again… I’ll kill you.

 

Khoi: …You know you like it… cause if you don’t… I’ll do you!

 

Cuong: What?…

 

Khoi: Oh… I didn’t mean that… ::shifts eyes:: I meant “duel” you…

 

Cuong: …

 

Khoi: …uhh… who said that?

 

Joe: well… we’re going to stick with you guys… because we need protection from all these damn Robots… and viets…

 

Cuong: yeah… wait, what was that second one?

 

Later on at night… Deity, Cuong, Khoi, and Joe are on the beach around a campfire.

 

Cuong: So Charles is working for Justin?

 

Joe: Yup… he gets cash, chicks, and cars… but I’m pretty sure he’s just Justin’s man-bitch…

 

Khoi: ::rolling on the floor laughing:: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! MAN BITCH! HAHAHAHA! And where did my bon bons go?

 

Deity: So all we have to do is beat the shit outta this guy to change the world back?

 

Joe: It’s a lot more complicated than that… what if we kill him and the world stays the same?

 

Khoi: THEN WE’LL BE THE NEW QUEENS!… I mean kings… ::blushes:: oooOOOooooh!

 

Joe: Who said that?

 

Khoi: ::nods:: You have learned well… from the virus… ::makes a buzz noise:: zzzzzzooommmmm…

 

Joe: uhh… what’d you say?

 

Khoi: Huh?

 

Joe: You said the virus…

 

Khoi: zzzzzooooooommmmm… it just sounds cool…

 

Deity: No… no it doesn’t.

 

Khoi: umm… sex on the beach?

 

Deity: Umm… fist up your ass?

 

Khoi: Umm… we stay twenty yards away from you at all times?

 

Deity: Umm… yes…

 

Khoi: You drive a hard bargain…

 

Joe: So… yeah… man… I need to take a shower and shave my legs… Hey, do you go with the grain or against it?

 

Deity: Well… it’s all a matter of preference, I find that it doesn’t matter, but…………… why are we talking about this?

 

Joe: Erm… I don’t… shave my legs…

 

Cuong: I’m hungry… so hungry that I’m just going to ignore every weird statement made here today… Sigh… I’m going to have to suppress a lotta memories when we get out of here.

 

Khoi: yeah… and you should put more emphasis on our first kiss… without me sneaking into your room late at night…

 

Cuong: …what?!

 

Khoi: umm… without tree beaking two your room bait fat light?

 

Cuong: …… ::gets in fetal position:: Must… suppress memories and must buy new security system.

 

Joe: Hmm… what is there to eat around here?

 

Khoi: Honeybuns?

 

Joe: Nope… and shut up about those… They’re not that good.

 

Khoi: Gasp! But, but, but, but… the honey? Oh well… Imma eat my skittles now… ::takes out a pack of skittles, everybody stares::

 

Joe: …

 

Deity: …

 

Cuong: …

 

Khoi: …Do you all have a crush on me or something?

 

All: No!

 

Khoi: a simple “no” would have sufficed…

 

Joe: Do you want to share some of those?

 

Khoi: hmm… ::thinks:: No, not really…

 

Cuong: Screw this! I need meat!

 

Khoi: Gasp! You wanna do it? Right here! Right now! In front of Joe! Joe! Close you eyes!

 

Cuong: ::shakes his head:: ARRRRRGHHHHH!!! SICKNESS! ::runs into the ocean:: come here little fishies!!

 

Joe: umm… Cuong can’t swim…

 

Deity: Well… shouldn’t you guys go save him?

 

Joe: Bad memories of the ocean… one time I swam in it and couldn’t get out…

 

Khoi: And ruin this hair? Psh!

 

Deity: Dammit… I guess I have to save him… ::goes and jumps into the ocean::

 

Khoi: Ooh… wet t-shirt!

 

Joe: Dude… Khoi… that’s perverted…

Khoi: I wasn’t talking about Deity! I was talking about Cuong! OooOOOooooh!

 

Joe: … ::shudders::

 

Deity comes back with Cuong…

 

Deity: …dammit… he’s pretty heavy…

 

Joe: He has a starfish on his face…

 

Khoi: Can starfish be eaten? ::cooking his skittles::

 

Joe: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

 

Khoi: Pff… I’m not going to eat raw skittles… you barbarian…

 

Deity: ::shaking:: Dammit… it’s freaking cold…

 

Everybody looks at Khoi who’s wearing two shirts…

 

Khoi: Oh… right… ::takes off his outer shirt and puts it over Cuong:: Sleep tight…

 

Joe: ……………………how disturbing… ::takes off his jacket and gives it to Deity:: I’m going to go into the jungle to find food. You guys wait here…

 

Deity: Hey! Don’t you need this?

 

Joe: I always wear three layers of clothes so it’s okay…

 

Khoi: That’s why I have yet to fully strip him down…

 

Joe: ::bonks Khoi on the head:: Shut the fuck up!

 

Joe walks off into the jungle.

 

Deity: Hmm… I bet he’s doing this because of my SS powers…

 

Khoi: Yeah… or he’s really nice?… ::bursts out laughing:: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! How amusing… and funny!

 

In the forest… Joe is walking along when a bucket of Kentucky fried chicken lands in front of him.

 

Joe: What the? Are there such things as Kentucky Fried Chicken trees?

 

Hitokiri is standing on a tree branch above Joe.

 

Hitokiri: Hey dependant… take that back to your camp…

 

Joe: hey! You’re normal too… er… as normal as you can be…

 

Hitokiri: Hmph… ::turns to go away:: Justin’s castle is in the northeast… his defenses are strong… even I can’t get through them…I only was able to break into his kitchen and take that…

 

Joe: so… in the end… you chose to invade his kitchen?

 

Hitokiri: Shut up, I was hungry. Well, I’ll tell you something important… There’s only one way to reverse the changes on this world… and that’s to find the one person who has the power to change everything, the “belief of hope.”

 

Joe: uhh… who the fuck is that?

 

Hitokiri: That’s all I can tell you…

 

Joe: Wait! Can you tell me why me and Khoi’s powers are gone?

 

Hitokiri: Justin has some sort of machine that’s designed to eliminate powers… However, it’s not completed yet so it has no effect on me or your two other friends…

 

Joe: Correction, one friend and EVIL!!

 

Hitokiri: Yeah… whatever… you better move fast while some of you still have powers… Remember, Justin’s castle is in the northeast… and I believe that the “Belief of hope” has not been changed by Justin’s pimple… He’s most likely wandering around in the west dunes, but be wary… Justin knows of him too.

 

Joe: Okay… whatever, thanks… ::picks up the bucket:: Hey, can you get a pizza too?

 

Hitokiri: NO!

 

Joe: fine… ::walks off::

 

Hitokiri: You fools, I’m counting on you… ::hand begins to fade:: seems that Hope’s powers are running low also… that means I’ll dissapear soon… “Belief of Hope”… he’s our only chance… my creator… ::Hitokiri totally disappears::

 

In the west… a guy tiredly gets up and rubs his eyes…

 

?????: I must play… ::a keyboard appears out of nowhere and he starts to play, a pic of Hitokiri is on the screen::

 

To be continued…

 

[pic] 

2nd installment: Death

Khoi: So… we have to find a guy…

 

Joe: Right…

 

Khoi: Who we know nothing about… except that he look-a-like-a man?

 

Joe: Yup… but, all we have to do is find an extremely confused looking guy, who’s lost in this world, and yeah…

 

Deity: Screw that crap… who’s this “Hitokiri” guy anyways? Can he really be trusted?

 

Khoi: Oh… Hitokiri’s sexy.

 

Deity: …I didn’t ask that…

 

Khoi: …Yes… ::shifts eyes:: you did… or I’ll nuttap YOU!

 

Deity: I’LL NUTTAP YOU THROUGH YOUR FACE!

 

Khoi: …

 

Joe: …

 

Cuong: …can it be done?

 

Khoi: But that’s unpossimible!

 

Deity: ::socks Khoi in the face::

 

Khoi: ::grabs his balls:: BUT HOW CAN THIS BE?! ::doubles over:: Ooooooh?

 

Deity: Me and tubby here are going to go and kick the shit outta Justin… You guys can look for that guy you need to find…

 

Khoi: …David Hasslehoff?

 

Joe: NO! WE HAVE TO FIND THE “BELIEF OF HOPE.”

 

Khoi: well for all you know, he “could” be “David Hasslehoff.”

 

Joe: …why are you putting quotation marks everywhere?

 

Khoi: CAUSE YOU TOUCH YOURSELF AT NIGHT!

 

Joe: Dammit… you do realize that you stole many of your lines from me. “I can fly,” “Cause you touch yourself at night,” and “I’m Khoi.”

 

Khoi: …Cause you touch yourself at night?…

 

Joe: …whatever, I’m gonna go play Maple Story now and write later…

 

Khoi: Huh?

 

Joe: you shut up…

 

At Justin’s castle…

 

Justin: You let them get away… You fool…

 

Charles: Well, yeah… but… umm… I… internet?

 

Justin: Hmph… then I guess I’ll have to send some help with you… Take ReaperBot, Clawbot, hmmm… and Plungerbot….

 

Charles: But I hate plungerbot…

 

Justin: SILENCE! I AM YOUR MASTER AND YOU MUST DO WHAT I SAY! OR I’LL NUTTAP YOU THROUGH THE FACE!

 

Charles: Huh?

 

Khoi: ::in the distance:: ooooOOOooooh!

 

Joe and Khoi are still talking to Deity and Cuong.

 

Joe: But… but… but… we don’t have powers…

 

Khoi: Who will protect us form other burly men who want to use us as their bitches?! I’m too fragile for that! ::farts:: oooOOooooh!

 

Joe: …yeah…

 

Deity: sigh… fine… we’ll split up into two groups…

 

Khoi: I call Cuong… ::pokes Cuong in the stomach:: Hee hee… tubby…

 

Cuong: ::socks Khoi in the nuts:: Fatty! I don’t wanna be with this guy! He’ll do things with my butt! My butt!!!!

 

Khoi: …not just your butt you know… oooOOOoooh! I’ll do things to all your fat! ::doubled over while he’s saying all this::

 

Deity: ::thinking:: Hmm… if I can send this guy to fight Justin, he might die… YAY!

 

Joe: Umm… why are you smiling and rubbing your hands together?

 

Deity: uhh… no reason… ::looking straight at Khoi:: hee hee…

 

Khoi: Umm… stop hitting on me you pervert!

 

Deity: ::being held back by Joe and Cuong:: I’LL KILL YOU!

 

Joe: Whatever… anyways… I guess Cuong and Khoi will go and defeat Justin.

 

Khoi: But he might do things to me! TO ME! HE’LL DO THINGS WITH MY ASS! HE’LL POKE IT OVER AND OVER WITH A STICK! OoooOOOooooh! On normal occasions that would be good… but if Cuong doesn’t do it, what’s the point?

 

Cuong: …Wait, what did you just say?

 

Khoi: …Nice ass?

 

Cuong: thanks… I am trying to fill up better… isn’t that right Joe?… Joe?… Joe?

 

Joe and Deity are gone.

 

Khoi: …hee hee… the virus spreads…

 

Cuong: What are you talking about? Who said that? OooOOOOoooh!…. Oh god… ::throws up::

 

Later Cuong and Khoi are going through the jungle towards Justin’s castle.

 

Cuong: ::riding on Khoi, yes riding on Khoi:: Go fatty…

 

Khoi: I can’t go that fast with you on my shoulders tubby…

 

Cuong: Shut up! Gosh… idiot…

 

Suddenly a spinning blade gets slammed into the ground in front of them… Khoi and Cuong back off…

 

Khoi: Uhh… what the?… who threw that?… oooOOOoooh! They’re trying to rip off my clothes! Geez… they could’ve just asked…

 

A robot with claws all over it’s body suddenly appears and starts taking swings at Cuong and Khoi. Cuong creates a shield outta his shadows to block the attacks.

 

Cuong: Let me down Fatty! Go and hide!

 

Khoi: WHAT DO YOU THINK I’VE BEEN TRYING TO DO?! StoOpid!

 

A robot with plungers comes and plunges Cuong’s head.

 

Cuong: What the hell?! I ain’t no toilet! This is so wrong!

 

Cuong is dragged off of Khoi and flung into a tree. Cuong uses his shadows to break his fall and to get up quickly.

 

Cuong: ::pointing palm at robot with plungers:: SHADOW…!

 

A robot with a scythe appears suddenly in front of Cuong.

 

Cuong: Fast! Damn!

 

The Robot swings the Scythe down… Cuong creates a shadow under him and falls into it… He appears behind the scythebot and raises his palm up again.

 

Cuong: Shadow spell!

 

Shadows engulf the robot…

 

Cuong: Gotcha!

 

The shadows are sliced through and the scythebot rockets towards Cuong.

 

Cuong: Dammit! ::points finger at the sythebot with his hand in a gun position:: SHADOW GUN!

 

A large mass of shadow smacks the robot in the head knocking it backwards. The plunger bot rockets behind Cuong and plungers his head again.

 

Cuong: Stop sucking on me!!! You bastard!

 

Khoi: Yeah! ::hiding in the bushes:: That’s my job!

 

Cuong crunches his body then releases it.

 

Cuong: Shadow explosion! ::shadows fire everywhere from everypoint in Cuong’s body, the plungers are totally ripped off, Cuong points his finger at the plungerbot’s head:: SHADOW GUN!

 

The mass of shadow energy rips off the plunger bot’s head.

 

Cuong: DIE!

 

The Claw bot turns it’s body into a ball and rolls down at Cuong, ripping up trees and bushes as it rushes towards him.

 

Cuong: ::points palm at the clawbot:: SHADOW DESTRUCTION!

 

Shadows skip along the ground, ripping it up and hit the Clawbot, knocking it back, but not doing much damage. Scythebot appears behind Cuong and swings its scythe down. Cuong barely dodges, a long scratch appears on his back, the back of his shirt is cut.

 

Cuong: dammit! This shirt cost forty bucks!

 

Meanwhile, at Jon’s village…

 

Jon: lalalalala… ::playing with his rock and stick:: Mrs. Patterson, pass the tea please…

 

Suddenly a deck appears outta nowhere.

 

Jon: Huh? ::looks at the deck of cards::

 

Mysterious voice: Alchemist… go…

 

Jon: …that sounds like a cooler version of Khoi… hmm…? ::grabs the deck:: What is this?…

 

A bright light envelops Jon… Back to the fight with the robots…

 

Khoi: ::eating airheads as he watches the fight:: ::mouth full:: Go get ‘em Cuong!

 

The blade bot comes rolling back at Cuong.

 

Cuong: ::points finger:: Shadow…!

 

Scythebot tackles Cuong from behind.

 

Cuong: Shit!!! ::blade bot is rolling straight for him::

 

Suddenly, two playing cards fly from nowhere hit the bladebot, slashing through it. The blade bot explodes. Cuong protects his eyes from the smoke and looks up.

 

Cuong: What the?… who the fuck?

 

??????: hahahaha! The beautiful beast of the east! The lovely rose they once called jap… the rising sun! I am Japkid!

 

Khoi: Umm… Jon… what are you doing? And where’s your vibrating thong?

 

Jon: ::on a tree branch with a couple of Yu gi oh cards in his hand:: Well, it’s an interesting story… but K’ Jidos has no time to tell such… uh oh…

 

The tree branch falls through and Jon hits the ground hard.

 

Jon: Ay… mi cabeza…

 

Cuong: what the hell? How’d you destroy a robot with cards?… and weren’t you wearing a potato sack before?

 

Jon: What?! What?!… yes… I was…

 

Khoi: …I liked you better then… ooooOOOoooh!

 

Jon: anyways… time to go fight that other robot… scythe!… gundam… THINGY!… and then write an ABNORMALLY long xanga entry about nothing but Wiegman! HA HA HA HA HA!

 

Cuong: Wait! You can’t destroy it with…!

 

Jon rushes toward the scythebot… the scythebot swings down the scythe, Jon swings up a Yu gi oh card… The card cuts the scythe in half… Jon jumps back…

 

Jon: Mind shuffle! NUNUNUNUNUNUNUNUNU! ::starts to rapidly throw cards at the robot, the cars are actually hitting it and slicing through it, embedding themselves in the steel armor, the robot explodes::

 

Khoi: :[pic]: ::points:: he… threw… his blue eyes at him…

 

Cuong: …are yu gi oh cards that powerful? Sigh… another memory to repress…

 

Khoi: but the most important question here is… WHERE’S YOUR VIBRATING THONG?!

 

Later, Cuong, Khoi, and Jon are sitting down on the destroyed robots.

 

Jon: yeah… I woke up and saw that I was wearing a weird thong… I have butt cramps now… and a potato sack! THEN A YUGIOH DECK APPEARED! AND I GRABBED IT!… ::drools:: yu gi oh…

 

Khoi: Hee hee… He grabbed the “deck.” Will you grab my “deck” Jon?

 

Jon: …NO! WHAT?! WHAT?! NO!

 

Cuong: so basically, you found that you had the power to make yu gi oh cards… into knives?

 

Jon: Nope, I can change the attributes of an object to be whatever I want… YESSSSS! ::grabs a small pebble and throws it at a tree, the pebble cuts through the tree:: erm… I mean… make things all sharp and stuff…

 

Khoi: Can you make my “deck” all sharp and stuff? OoooOOOoh!

 

Jon: …sure… where’s your deck?

 

Khoi: In my pants…

 

Cuong: Umm… Jon… I think he’s referring to…

 

Jon: Shhhh… this takes immense concentration…

 

Later with Joe and Deity.

 

Joe: awww… Hope, where are you? Hope?… Hope?

 

Deity: Gosh… this is such a waste of time, it was a mistake for me to come here…

 

Joe: Come on! We have to find the guy… who can change a world… who this weird guy… cosplaying as a final fantasy character…. Told us… about…. Yeah, it sounds stupid.

 

Deity: No duh.

 

Joe: Anyways, I want to ask you something while we have time. Where did we get our powers?

 

Deity: What?

 

Joe: Where did our powers come from?… We were under the impression that they came from chemicals that taste like cool-aid… but that’s not the case.

 

Deity: Are you stupid? You guys are like us. You’re the newest models. You were infected with the same type of treatment as ours. However, we required to be treated our whole lives! WHILE YOU… never mind…

 

Joe: …Huh?

 

Deity: I said never mind.

 

Suddenly, Charles appears.

 

Charles: Heh, I finally found you… the one that master Justin wants.

 

Joe: Huh? Charles, we don’t have time for you, we’re looking for the belief of hope.

 

Charles: Huh? What are you talking about? Anyways, I need to take her back to Master Justin.

 

Deity: What?

 

Charles: I don’t know why, but I do know that it’s my mission. Now get out of my way.

 

Deity: Hmm… over my dead body I’m going. ::trys to transform but fails:: what the?

 

Charles: It seems that Lord Justin’s machine has taken its effect on you also.

 

Deity: Dammit…

 

Joe: Charles, stop being gay and working for that guy. You moron, this isn’t the real world!!!

 

Charles: WHY SHOULD I GO BACK TO THE REAL WORLD?! SALSA CUPS, LEOS, RIDICULE, NUTTAPS?! Nah, I’m happy here…

 

Joe: THERE IS MORE TO LIFE THAN SALSA CUPS! Urr… but they sure are damn good…

 

Deity: Yeah… what type do you use?

 

Joe: Hmm… I like picante, but on occasion I go for mild.

 

Deity: Well, I really like Salsa verde, but…

 

Charles: YOU’RE DOING IT AGAIN! WHY DO YOU GUYS ALWAYS IGNORE ME?!

 

Deity: Shut up! People are talking here!

 

Joe: …Are you related to Khoi?

 

Charles: Enough! ::slightly touches Joe on the chest::

 

Joe: Umm… I feel violated?… ::doubles over:: Shit… what the fuck was that…? ::having trouble breathing::

 

Charles: Light, permeates skin. When you put a flashlight up to your hand, the light shines through. Using that concept, I created this style of fighting. I attack your inner organs using light.

 

Joe: Bullshit… You stole that from Naruto…

 

Charles: Maybe so… but shut up! SHUT UP! WHY WON’T YOU SHUT UP?!

 

Deity: Interesting way to fight… too bad… You can’t do the same thing to me. ::pulls out a pistol:: All N.O.D.A.T.S.S.T.U.P.I.D. members are trained in other methods of combat. We must be prepared for anything and everything…

 

Charles: ::waves his hand:: Yeah… but everything most likely doesn’t include this… Rexbot.

 

A giant dog robot the size of a small house appears.

 

Deity: ::wide eyes:: …holy… crap… ::drops the gun::

 

Back with Cuong, Khoi, and Jon… They’re now walking up to Justin’s castle.Khoi is informing Jon on everything that has happened up to this point.

 

Jon: So… basically… You guys all have powers?

 

Khoi: yupz… oh wellz…

 

Jon: And you have the power to get girls?

 

Khoi: yupz…

 

Jon: …no wonder… I just thought the world was coming to an end when those girls started liking you.

 

Cuong: Guys, look… there’s the entrance…

 

Khoi: Cuong… we can see… we have eyes, we’re not stupid! I got into Cal State Fullerton! ::clicks tongue::

 

Cuong: …Cal Poly reject…

 

Khoi: …those application viewers were just jealous… of my sexiness… oooOOOoooh!

 

Jon: or… they saw a picture of you and ran away in terror…

 

Khoi: ::kicks Jon in the nuts:: I don’t like your attitude young lady!

 

Jon: Ay mi nuttos!

 

Khoi: Hee hee… he said “nuttos.”

 

Cuong: Hey, look… isn’t that Deity?

 

Deity is being escorted by Rexbot and Charles.

 

Khoi: oooOOOoooh! It’s Charlie! Hahahahaha! Mr. Kim’s funny…

 

Jon: What’s that… big robot dog thing?

 

Khoi: You touch yourself at night…

 

Jon: Huh?

 

Cuong: Shut up! I can’t listen! To what’s happening… geez… gosh… idiots!

 

Jon: So, Cuong… how’s it going?

 

Cuong: …I’m in a jungle with you two guys… how do you think?

 

Jon: Must be going pretty good!… Because I’m beautiful!!! K’ JIDOS ROCKS EVERYONE! MY FACE! MY BEAUTIFUL FACE! ::starts to play a violin outta nowhere::

 

Cuong: ‘K you have dos seconds to be quiet before I unleash a can of Khoi’s molestation on you…

 

Jon: …touche…

 

Khoi: I never agreed to this… “molestation.”

 

Cuong: Don’t you guys thing we’re talking a bit too loud?

 

Jon: WHAT?! WHAT?! No… we’re not talking that loud.

 

Khoi: Now let’s get physical! OoooOOOooooh!

 

Inside Justin’s castle.

 

Deity: Okay loser, why’d you bring me here?

 

Justin: Heh heh… sweets for the sweet? ::offers a crunch bar::

 

Deity: ::mockingly:: Heh heh… kick for the crotch?

 

Justin: Huh? OH!!!! ::grabs his balls and falls down::

 

Deity: Faggot… why’d you bring me here?

 

Justin: Because… I need a queen to rule by my side! And I believe you to be the one I want!

 

Deity: Whatever, screw you…

 

Justin: …grrr… but I’m rich! I’ll give you candy!

 

Deity: Man… you’re pathetic.

 

Charles: This is really pathetic…

 

Rexbot: ::automated voice:: THIS IS PATHETIC.

 

Justin: Well, if you won’t be with me… Then, you’ll just have to go to the dungeon! Then we’ll see if you change your mind!

 

Deity: What? This is so lame… nerds playing King… what kinda star trek fat boy, mama’s basement loser sends people to dungeons…

 

Justin: ::making struggling noises:: Silence!

 

Suddenly a J is carved into the door. The door falls down.

 

Jon: Ha hah! “J” for…!

 

Khoi: KHOI!

 

Jon: … ::droops head down low::

 

Justin: Uhh… ::presses button on remote control::

 

Cuong and Jon both fall through holes under him.

 

Cuong: SHIT!!!

 

Jon: WHEEE!

 

Khoi: aww… I wanted to go on the happy fun slide too…

 

Justin: Hmm… he’s the powerless one… He’s of no use to me… Rexbot, kill him.

 

Rexbot roars.

 

Khoi: Oh! Hey there little… big guy?

 

Rexbot smacks Khoi hard against a wall with one of it’s robotic arms.

 

Khoi: Ouchies! ::bleeding:: What is this… red stuff? And this weird sensation… oh right, blood and pain… OUCHIES!

 

Charles: …this is sad… He can’t even fight.

 

Rexbot stamps on Khoi’s body with his robotic arm.

 

Justin: Well, then… that’s the end of that chapter…

 

In a dream…

 

Khoi: Huh? Where am I? First I was playing with the big doggy and then I’m here…

 

Jason: Khoi? What are you doing here? IT’S DANGEROUS HERE! YOU IDIOT!

 

Khoi: oooOOOoooh! It’s Jason! What are you doing?

 

Jason is all scratched up and injured and shit.

 

Jason: I’m fighting the berserker…

 

Khoi: Berserker?

 

Jason: Basically it’s a…

 

A huge bear/wolf/something comes out of nowhere and roars.

 

Jason: well, basically it’s a that…

 

Khoi: it looks… furry… Can I fuck it?… oooOOOoooh!

 

Jason: …I’m going to ignore that… It’s deadly… I found it lurking in your mind the other day… That’s why I haven’t been answering you… I’ve been a little busy.

 

Khoi: hahaha! That thing can’t fit in my head! Silly Jason… hee hee…

 

Jason: Sigh… look… I need your help… We have to tame it.

 

Khoi: …you mean… fuck it? OOOoooOOooH!

 

Jason: No! You total moron!

 

Back at Justin’s castle.

 

Justin: Hmm?

 

Red energy is coming up from Rexbot’s arm.

 

Charles: What the?… What is that?

 

Rexbots arm suddenly explodes, Khoi gets up.

 

Deity: What the?! :[pic]:

 

Justin: Impossible! Your powers should be locked! My machine! It!

 

Charles: Khoi?

 

Khoi: …

 

More red energy starts to flood from Khoi’s body, ripping up the walls of the castle. His hair begins to turn slightly red and his eyes turn pure bright red.

 

Jason: ::fangs appear, roars::

 

More red energy pulsates out and knocks everybody down.

 

Justin: ::scared now:: REXBOT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! KILL HIM!

 

Rexbot begins to take another swing… Jason has red energy all around him now. The metal on Rexbot’s arm begins to melt.

 

Deity: ::thinking:: What… what is this?

 

Jason: Control it… ::the red energy begins to crawl back into his body, it becomes stable… Jason’s body pulsates, he remains still::

 

Deity: …Super Suave?…

 

Jason: What happened to me? ::looking at his hands, he sees everything in red::

 

Jason’s hair has gotten totally red and his eyes are a really noticeable red also.

 

Jason: I need… blood…

 

Rexbot now free from the energy, swings it’s arm back down.

 

Jason: ::one red dragon wing rips out from the right side of his back, it blocks the strike like a shield:: Metal? You have no flesh…

 

Deity: …What the hell’s going on?

 

Charles: … :[pic]:

 

Rexbot: Destroy! ::swings down it’s arm again::

 

Jason: ::deeper tone of voice:: Enough… Lethal 8! ::begins spinning his hands at an extremely high speed with red energy leaking from his hands::

 

Jason jumps up into Rexbot with the Lethal 8. It rips through it’s entire body and Jason jumps out of the back of Rexbot landing perfectly.

 

Jason: ::deeper tone of voice:: Is that all? ::rexbot explodes::

 

Charles: Interesting… try this! ::pushes his hand forward with light encircling it::

 

Jason: Hmm?

 

Charles: IMPERIAL! STRIKE! ::hundreds of attacks come at Jason from Charles:: 1, 2, 4, 8, 16, 32, 64, 128!!!! ::lands a final blow and jumps back:: I’m not done yet!

 

Charles lights up both his hands and slams them into Jason’s chest. Jason is pushed back a little.

 

Charles: How’s that?! I’m STILL NOT DONE! KIKOU SHOU! ::huge amounts of light push out of Charles’ body and slam Jason back into a wall::

 

Jason gets up unhurt slowly.

 

Jason: ::brushes off his shoulders:: ::deeper voice:: Is that it? There doesn’t seem to be enough damage here…

 

Charles: :[pic]: I… hit him with all 128 strikes and the Kikou shou… but he’s still standing?

 

Jason: ::smiles:: do you want to… die? I’m going to rip out your brain and eat it…

 

Charles: ::scared:: waaah???? ::wets his pants::

 

Khoi: Uhh… Jason… did you say you’re going to eat charles’ brain?

 

Jason: Dude… That’s not me controlling your body right now…

 

Khoi: Umm… if you’re in here… who’s out there?

 

Jason: I think it’s probably the berserker.

 

Khoi: ::shifts eyes:: Oh… right…

 

Jason: ::still smiling:: Everybody here needs to die… so I can feed on your blood!!!

 

Jason: not good, at this rate… he’s going to kill everyone here and then go after innocent people.

 

Khoi: Uhh… why was something like that inside me?

 

Jason: It’s a berserker spirit. A spirit that helps men called berserkers fight in battle. In legend, it’s said they allowed men to turn into savage creatures who were impervious to all weapons.

 

Khoi: Uhh… right? Why was it inside me?

 

Jason: I don’t know… but we must tame it before it does anything dangerous!

 

Khoi: How do we do that?

 

Jason: The wing… we have to rip it off.

 

Khoi: …

 

Jason: …dammit, we’re inside here.

 

Justin: …This… is… insane! I want to go back home! ::goes into fetal position and rocks back and forth::

 

Charles: ::grimacing:: ::puts two of his fingers together:: IMPERIAL! WHIP! ::a long whip made of light extends from Charles’s two fingers:: DIE! ::swings it toward Jason::

 

Jason: Hmm? ::the whip hits him and encircles itself around his arm::

 

Charles: Now! ::tugs on the whip a little, and Jason’s arm rips off::

 

Justin: …That’s sick!

 

Deity: …That got him…

 

Back to where Joe is unconscious…

 

Joe: ::gets up:: Ugh… ::remembers what happened:: I have a bad feeling about this… I better hurry…

 

Joe slowly walks to Justin’s castle.

 

Joe: I hope that Deity’s okay…

 

Back to the Berserker and Charles…

 

Jason: ::deep voice:: You made me bleed… I commend you… No human weapon can harm me. Plus, I… ::picks up his arm:: don’t feel pain. ::puts his arm back into place, red energy smokes from the wound where it was cut off, and the arm gets reconnected::

 

Charles: …Oh shit…

 

Justin: …Ugh… this is not good… I should run away!

 

Deity: ::grabs Justin by the collar:: You faggot! Turn off your machine! Or we’re all going to die! I need to be able to fight him!

 

Justin: It’s too late… I can’t stop the machine!

 

Deity: Why you… ::socks Justin in the face::

 

Justin: ACK! MY BALLS!

 

Deity: Where’s this machine?!

 

Justin: It’s upstairs in the highest room.

 

Deity: …shit… ::drops Justin and runs up the stairs::

 

Jason: Where do you think you’re going? I NEED ALL THE BLOOD I CAN GET! ::jumps toward Deity::

 

Charles appears in front of Jason.

 

Charles: We’re not done yet! ::hits Jason with another hand of light::

 

Jason: ::unaffected, grabs Charles and throws him hard into a wall:: Enough… time for you all… to die… ::red energy rushes out from Jason’s body, it surrounds itself around Jason’s hands as he begins to spin them:: Lethal… 8!!!

 

Jason rushes toward Charles with the Lethal 8.

 

Jason: DIE!!!!!

 

Charles: Damn!

 

Right when Charles is about to get hit, someone jumps in the way and gets stabbed totally through with the Lethal 8. He grabs Jason’s arms to stop them from going any further.

 

??????: ::coughs up blood:: Heh… what do you think you’re doing… idiot…

 

Charles: What???

 

Jason: ::shock:: ::pulls out his arms from Joe’s body with a sickening noise:: ::starts to walk back slowly grabbing his head:: AHHH!! What… did I… do???????!!!!!… ::stares at his blood soaked hands::

 

Joe: …::bleeding really badly, Jason’s hands have punched right through him… blank look:: ::falls down onto the ground, dead::

 

Jason: Ugh…. Can’t… rip off the wing… ::berserker regains control:: Stay in there you shit! ::punches his head::

 

Jason: Ugh…

 

Charles: …What?… ::stares:: You… killed him.

 

Jason: ::looks up and smiles:: So… what? You’re next anyways…

 

Khoi: …What the fuck! Joe! You better get up! GET UP YOU SONUVABITCH!

 

Jason begins to walk towards Charles now.

 

Jason: … ::deep voice:: I NEED IT! MORE BLOOD! MORE BLOOD! MORE…!

 

Charles ::still, still in shock::

 

Jason socks Charles in the face and Charles slides on the floor, until he hits the wall.

 

Charles: …this is all my fault… ::gets back up:: This is… all my fault… ::still in shock::

 

Jason: if it is… ::his nails grow long into claws:: THEN YOU SHOULD DIE ALSO!

 

Jason rushes at Charles with his claws extended. Suddenly, a person with a blue flame dragon in their hands hits Jason from the side with a Ryuusei.

 

Jason: Hmmm?… ::gets back up as if he was hit with nothing::

 

Charles: ::looks up:: JOE?!… What?…

 

Ecstasy: … ::ryuusei in her hands:: Ryuusei… blue flame technique…

 

Jason: Oh? You can use it too? ::chuckles:: Interesting! VERY INTERESTING! I WANT TO KILL YOU EVEN MORE!!!

 

Ecstasy: ::looks at Joe on the ground:: heh, so you killed ID, huh?

 

Jason: ::just laughs::

 

Ecstasy: Well, from now on… ::stares back at Jason:: I’m your opponent!!! ::extends her hand, blue flame erupts from it::

 

A sillouhette of Joe is next to Ecstasy. They have the same stance.

 

Charles: ::thinking:: That style… is the same… as Joe’s… but… how? What’s going on?

 

Ecstasy smiles…

 

Ecstasy: I didn’t really know that guy that well… ::remembers him screaming evil:: but… ::looks down:: I… ::looks up again with tears:: WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU!

 

Jason: …I don’t give a shit…

 

Ecstasy: ::wipes away tears:: So… rip off the wing huh? ::remembers when the berserker lost a little control:: I can do that… So then… LET’S GO! ::rushes::

 

Jason: I guess you want to die also… ::rushes::

 

Ecstasy and Jason both rush at each other.

 

To be continued…

3rd Installment: Flashback

 

A little boy walks into a classroom.

 

Teacher: Okay class. This is our new student, his name is *indistinguishable*… treat him well…

 

Little girl: Hey…

 

Little boy: Hey…

 

Little girl: so, where do you come from?

 

Little boy: Some place in the east… You?

 

Little girl: I’ve always lived here. ::sad look::

 

Little boy: Heh, why do you look so sad?

 

Little girl: I wish I could go somewhere else…

 

Little boy: Well, I’ll take you somewhere else someday. ::smiles::

 

Little girl: hahahaha… I’m sure you will… What’s your name again?

 

Little boy: my name is *indistinguishable*… What’s yours?

 

Little girl: Deity… Deity Venus Aphrodite.

 

In the present, Deity is running up to the power sealing machine.

 

Deity: Why? Why am I thinking of that now?

 

Another memory…

 

Little boy: ::eating lunch:: I hope this place won’t be as weird as the last place I lived at.

 

Little Deity: This place is pretty okay…

 

Little boy: well, that’s cool… ::starts to choke:: Oh crap! ::pounds chest::

 

Little Deity: hahaha! Idiot!

 

Little boy: Stop laughing and help me!

 

Deity is still running up to the machine…

 

Deity: ::thinking:: Why, why am I remembering that now?

 

She reaches the machine…

 

Deity: time to get busy!

 

Meanwhile, with Joe…

 

Joe: ::slowly walking up the stairs to Justin’s castle:: Ugh… have to hurry… I have a bad feeling…

 

Memory…

 

Little Joe: Hey, what’s up?

 

Two guys are hanging on the rings at the school playground.

 

Little Charles: Hey…

 

Little Christian: Hey…

 

Back in the present…

 

Joe: I can’t let any of them get hurt… dammit…

 

Memory…

 

Freshman Joe: Man… ::in bio class::

 

Mr. Talcott: Okay, we’re going to be doing projects with partners…

 

Freshman Joe: Great… ::thinking:: Who can I work with?

 

Khoi is walking up to Joe with a gay look on his face.

 

Freshman Joe: ::thinking:: Great… a gay looking guy…

 

Later on in the year… Joe and Khoi are imaginary dueling…

 

Khoi: I play 3 ookazis! Then I play blue eyes! And attack!

 

Joe: This is cheap…

 

Girl with abnormally large… never mind: What are you guys doing?

 

Khoi: uhh… imaginary dueling?

 

Joe: hahaha, yeah…

 

Back in the present…

 

Joe: ::smiles:: heh… that guy… ::reaches the door of the castle:: I have a really bad feeling… ::grabs his chest:: Dammit, I’m still hurt from Charles…

 

Deity is trying to figure out the machine…

 

Deity: Shit… this thing can’t be shut off… I have to find a way… ::grabs a nearby pipe and starts to bang the machine:: I have to break this annoying piece of crap…

 

Memory…

 

Little Deity: ::taking a pill:: I have to take my medicine…

 

Little boy: What is that for?…

 

Little Deity: I don’t know… My mom makes me take them.

 

Little boy: Eh… I can take pills… I take liquid stuff…

 

Little Deity: That’s because you’re a little boy… stoOpid

 

Little boy: Hey! You’re little too!

 

Little Deity: Shut up! Who said that?… haahahahahaha… isn’t this annoying?

 

Little boy: Yeah… I hope I never meet a gay guy who acts like that…

 

Back in the present, Deity is still banging on the machine.

 

Deity: Damn it! Come on! Ecstasy! I need you!

 

Cuong and Jon have fallen into a room with no doors or anything, Cuong is trying to use his shadows to break the walls, while Jon is trying to break the walls with his cards…

 

Jon: Noooo! If I’m trapped here! How will anyone ever see my beautiful pimply face?!

 

Cuong: Shut up and keep on trying to get out!

 

Memory…

 

6th grade Joe: Why don’t you swim?

 

6th grade Cuong: Can’t…

 

6th grade Joe: I see…

 

6th grade Cuong: ::playing game boy::

 

6th grade Joe: So… I have games too… like Robocop…

 

6th grade Matt Buckley: Gameboy’s are cool.

 

Back in the present…

 

Cuong: What the hell am I remembering now?

 

Jon: Huh? What?! What?! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!

 

Joe is on his knees in front of the broken down castle doors which have a J carved into them, breathing hard.

 

Joe: ::breathing:: Damn… just a little… just a little more… MOVE! ::gets up wobbily::

 

Memory… Room 83…

 

Joe: Ah, another year of dueling… hmm? ::sees some pimply freshman on the floor playing with Jap cards:: Another player?

 

Present… Joe moves to the door, lifts up the broken pieces a little, and walks in a bit.

 

Joe: …What is this? ::sees all the destruction and Khoi and Charles fighting:: Khoi?… No… ::red energy all around:: Not Khoi… ::looks around some more:: Where’s Deity?… Shit, did she already…?

 

Back with the machine…

 

Deity: This is… impossible… ::sits down on the floor:: At this rate, he’s going to kill us all…

 

Memory…

 

Little bit older Deity: You’re moving?

 

Little bit older boy: Yeah…

 

Little bit older Deity: …wow… on thanksgiving? ::looks sad::

 

Little bit older boy: It’s okay! I’ll come back for you for sure! I’m a guy that doesn’t break friendships easily! I promise that we’ll always be together!

 

Little bit older Deity: Alright… let’s meet again for sure!

 

Little bit older boy: yeah!

 

Back in the present… Jason forms the Lethal 8…

 

Joe: Crazy 8?!… no, it’s different!

 

Jason rushes toward Charles with the Lethal 8.

 

Jason: DIE!!!!!

 

Charles: Damn!

 

Memory… Few months before…

 

Joe: I’m definitely coming back…

 

Present…

 

Deity: ::sitting on the floor… suddenly, a sillouhette of Joe appears:: Huh? Why am I thinking about him right now?

 

Sillouhette of Joe begins to speak…

 

Joe: Hey, Deity… What’s up…

 

Deity: Bad, what do you think?

 

Joe: Heh, well, I have to tell you something important.

 

Deity: What?

 

Joe: I remember you…

 

Deity: Huh? ::baffled::

 

Joe: When I lived somewhere else… I was lonely… and you were one of my only friends…

 

Deity: What are you talking about?

 

Back with Cuong and Jon.

 

Cuong: ::flash through his mind:: What?…

 

Jon: Huh? What is it?

 

Cuong: I have a bad feeling… We have to hurry…

 

Jon: Okay…

 

Cuong: This is the best time to try out my new technique! Shadow tornado! ::shadows appear around Cuong’s body and he begins to spin rapidly, looking like a spinning shadow missile::

 

Cuong launches into the wall and begins to drill a huge hole through it.

 

Jon: …He can do that?…

 

Back with Deity…

 

Joe: I told you once before… I’m a guy who doesn’t break friendships that easily…

 

Deity: What?… no way… You can’t be!

 

Joe: Stay alive, there’s something I need to do… because if one of my friends dies… that friendship will be also dead. I’m going to use my powers to unlock yours… good luck…

 

Deity: Wait! What are you talking about?!

 

Joe disappears… Blue flame surrounds Deity… She is able to transform into Ecstasy…

 

Ecstasy: Darn it! Where’d that guy go?!

 

Jason is just about to hit Charles with the Lethal Eight…

 

Joe: ::thinking:: Shit! ::runs toward them:: I won’t make it! ::thinking:: Come on… just a little…

 

Jason is just about to hit Charles…

 

Joe: ::thinking:: Just a little… ::a bit of blue flame begins to come out of Joe’s back:: A LITTLE! ::The flame erupts, Joe is rocket in front of Charles and is hit by the Lethal 8::

 

The Lethal 8 stabs through Joe. Joe grabs Jason’s arms to stop the attack from going any further.

 

Joe: ::coughs up blood:: Heh… what do you think you’re doing… idiot…

 

Charles: What???

 

Jason: ::shock:: ::pulls out his arms from Joe’s body with a sickening noise:: ::starts to walk back slowly grabbing his head:: AHHH!! What… did I… do???????!!!!!… ::stares at his blood soaked hands::

 

Joe: …::bleeding really badly, Jason’s hands have punched right through him… blank look:: ::thinking as he grows weaker:: I really am a guy… who does not break… friendships…………………………easily… heh… ::smiles:: Stay alive…

 

Jason is walking backwards grabbing his head, Joe watches as his view gets drowsier… Joe closes his eyes…

 

Khoi: …What the fuck! Joe! You better get up! GET UP YOU SONUVABITCH!

 

Ecstasy is running down the stairs…

 

Deity: What was he talking about?

 

Ecstasy: Come on! We have more important things to do right now… ::stops and sees Joe on the floor bleeding:: Shit…

 

Jason rushes at Charles with his claws extended.

 

Ecstasy: … ::blue flame erupts from Ecstasy’s hand:: Huh?

 

Voice in Ecstasy’s head: ::sounds like Joe:: RYUUSEI!

 

Ecstasy: ::smiles sadly:: I get it… RYUUSEI!!! ::rushes at Jason as he’s about to hit Charles… she hits him from the side with it::

 

Jason is knocked down…

 

Jason: Hmmm?… ::gets back up as if he was hit with nothing::

 

Charles: ::looks up:: JOE?!… What?…

 

Joe: Ryuusei… blue flame technique…

 

Ecstasy: … ::ryuusei in her hands:: Ryuusei… blue flame technique…

 

 

Jason: Oh? You can use it too? ::chuckles:: Interesting! VERY INTERESTING! I WANT TO KILL YOU EVEN MORE!!!

 

Ecstasy: ::looks at Joe on the ground:: heh, so you killed ID, huh?

 

Jason: ::just laughs::

 

Memory…

 

Little Deity: Well then… seeya later… Joe…

 

Little Joe: Yeah… I promise I’ll come back someday!

 

Ecstasy: ::the two voices echo in her head:: Well, from now on… ::stares back at Jason:: I’m your opponent!!! ::extends her hand, blue flame erupts from it::

 

A sillouhette of Joe is next to Ecstasy. They have the same stance.

 

Charles: ::thinking:: That style… is the same… as Joe’s… but… how? What’s going on?

 

Ecstasy smiles…

 

Ecstasy: I didn’t really know that guy that well… ::remembers him as a friend and him screaming evil:: but… ::looks down:: I… ::looks up again with tears:: WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU!

 

Jason: …I don’t give a shit…

 

Ecstasy: ::wipes away tears:: So… rip off the wing huh? ::remembers when the berserker lost a little control:: I can do that… So then… LET’S GO! ::rushes::

 

Jason: I guess you want to die also… ::rushes::

 

Ecstasy fires off a ryuusei at Jason. Jason blocks with his wing… Jason swings down his claws…

 

Ecstasy: Ugh! ::puts her arm up to block, and her arm gets slashed:: AHH!…

 

Jason: Heh… ::attacks from below::

 

Ecstasy: Break! ::Jumps over the attack and spins upside down in the air with blue flame circling her feet, hitting Jason::

 

Jason: Heh, not bad… ::gets thrown back::

 

Ecstasy: ::spinning her hands now:: CRAZY 8! ::blue flame surrounds the Crazy 8::

 

Jason: interesting… combining both powers? I want your blood! ::starts forming the Lethal 8::

 

The rush at each other… The flaming Crazy 8 hits the Lethal 8. A huge explosion occurs. Both of them are thrown back onto the floor.

 

Ecstasy: Ugh… ::still on the floor, gets up slowly:: Where is he? ::there’s way too much smoke to see anything:: ::suddenly feels something and coughs up blood… turns back into Deity::

 

Deity: No… How could?

 

Jason: Heh… these eyes… can see… life… ::seeing in red, people in the room seem illuminated::

 

Justin crawls away even more…

 

Justin: No way… This is insane…

 

The smoke clears…

 

Charles: No way…

 

Deity has been stabbed in the stomach by Jason’s claws…

 

Deity: ::coughs up even more blood::

 

Jason: Heh… yes… more blood… Let me enjoy this even more…

 

Deity: ::smiles:: Won’t get your hand out of my stomach?… Then! ::grabs Jason around the waist and pulls him in tight:: Let’s die together… ::blue flame begins to rush from Deity:: Ignite!

 

Deity looks like she’s about to explode like a bomb.

 

Justin: Oh shit!! ::runs out of the way::

 

Jason: What?! Let me go you bitch!

 

Deity: Heh, never… ::eyes flash::

 

Joe: Let’s go together…

 

Deity: Let’s go together…

 

Joe: Self Destruct!

 

Deity: Self Destruct!

 

Deity self destructs in blue flame. The Castle explodes. Back with Cuong and Jon.

 

Cuong: What the hell was that?… ::stops the shadow tornado::

 

Jon: sounded like bombs exploding like BOOM! Umm… oh no…

 

The floor collapses on Cuong and Jon. Outside… Charles digs himself out of the rubble…

 

Charles: ::dirty, coughs:: Ugh… Shit… She… self destructed like a weezing… and Joe… ::looks sad:: and Khoi… He has to be dead…

 

Suddenly, more of the rubble begins to get pushed up…

 

Charles: Oh shit! Is it him?!!!! ::wets his pants::

 

It’s Cuong and Jon…

 

Cuong: Damn… what was that?

 

Jon: …I’m so dirty… HOW CAN PEOPLE SEE THE BEAUTY OF JON WHEN I’M DIRTY?!

 

Charles: Cuong? Jon?

 

More of the rubble begins to get pushed up…

 

Charles: AHHH! IS IT THAT EVIL KHOI?!

 

Justin comes out of the rubble…

 

Justin: ugh… terrible… terrible… uh oh…

 

Jon and Cuong are above Justin cracking their knuckles…

 

Justin: wwwwait! I can explain!

 

Jon: can you explain the vibrating thong?!!!

 

Justin: umm… no… but…

 

Jon and Cuong begin to stomp the shit out of Justin.

 

Charles: ::looks sad:: …

 

Suddenly, more rubble begins to get up… The rubble explodes in red energy… Berserker Jason is there, his clothes a little ripped up.

 

Jason: Heh, useless bitch… didn’t do anything except… make my clothes a little dirty.

 

Charles: Oh crap!

 

Cuong: What? It’s just Khoi!

 

Jon: yeah… Khoi with red eyes, red hair, and a ripped up wing hanging by a hinge on his back…

 

Jason: Yeah! HAHAHAHAHA! KHOI WITH A RIPPED UP wing… hanging… by… a hinge… on his back… oh shit…

 

The wing falls off…

 

Jason: ::looks back:: ::thinks:: dammit! Was she aiming for that one point?!

 

In Khoi’s mind…

 

Berserker: Shit… I’m back in here…

 

Khoi: yeah… you are…

 

Jason: Time to die… you shit…

 

Berserker: Try it!!!

 

Khoi and Jason put their hands together…

 

Khoi: Fucking monster, YOU KILLED JOE AND DEITY!

 

Berserker: Correction, you technically killed them!

 

Jason: Shut up! And Die!

 

Khoi and Jason begin to spin their hands all together…

 

Khoi and Jason: INSANE 64!!!

 

The attack the berserker… The berserker spirit is totally ripped up…

 

Berserker: What?!… ::disintegrates…

 

In the real world…

 

Khoi: ::hair turns normal, eye turns normal… Khoi falls on the ground unconscious::

 

Jon: …okay…

 

Cuong: Where’s Joe? And Deity?

 

Charles: ::looks up scared:: They’re… they’re…

 

Cuong: ::looks down:: Dead?

 

Jon: Huh? What?

 

Cuong: I thought so… well, there’s no time to think about this stuff… Jon, Charles… Pick up Khoi… we’re leaving to look for the belief of hope… ::Cuong walks off::

 

Jon: …Cuong? ::walks toward Cuong a little in shock:: Joe and Deity are dead…

 

Cuong: I know… but crying about it won’t bring them back… ::continues to walk alone::

 

Charles: Leave him alone… because… even though he may act like that… He’s probably sadder than both of us…

 

Cuong: ::eyes covered in shadow… a single tear drops down::

 

Khoi’s dream… a song plays in the background of Khoi’s mind…

 

You can take me anywhere

Away from all this crazy world

I will go with you

Everywhere you go

Anytime you want me there

I’ll be with you

 

I can feel you wanting me

I just can’t turn away from you

You have what it takes and there’s no mistake

You can fly

You can take me up so high

 

Drive away

Pull away

Just fly away from here

There’s nobody to stop you now

I will stay

There’s no way

I’ll let you go from here

You and me

We’re gonna drive all around

And then ride away to the top of the heavens…

 

Joe: What’s up ugly?

 

Deity: Yeah? Hey…

 

Khoi: Joe?! You’re alive!

 

Joe: …::smiles:: I guess…

 

Khoi: I had a dream, where I thought I killed you! And you too! Hot girl!

 

Deity: Hey! You want me to nuttap you through the face again?

 

Khoi: ooooOOooOoh! Who said that?

 

Joe: hahahaha… funny… I won’t be hearing that again for a long time…

 

Khoi: Why?

 

Joe: Well… it’s complicated… but… remember… We’ll always be friends… I’m a guy who doesn’t break friendships easily…

 

Deity: Pff… yeah right… you could barely remember me…

 

Joe: shut up! EVIL! EVIL!

 

Deity: you know what… I should just ditch you.

 

Joe: …okay I’ll shut up now…

 

Khoi: Anyways… umm… honeybun?

 

Joe: yeah… right… well… I’m here to tell you something… Don’t regret anything and stay alive.

 

Khoi: sounds like you’re saying goodbye…

 

Joe: Nah… it’s more like a hello… Seeya around…

 

Deity: Peace!…

 

Joe and Deity begin to fade away…

 

Khoi: Wait! Do you forgive me?! ::tears:: Come back! Can you forgive me?! I’m sorry… for not being able to… protect you guys… ::falls down to knees::

 

Another song begins to play…

 

There’s a place to go

Where no man’s ever gone before

A place where we can be alone…

We can be ourselves

Be free forever….

 

To be continued…

4th installment: Berserker

Cuong: Where’s that guy?

Jon: I don’t know… ::starts to scream obscenities::

 

Cuong: What are you doing?

 

Jon: …Ummm… Dark Magician?

 

Charles: Why do I have to carry Khoi? He’s so freaking fat…

 

Jon: Because you killed Joe!

 

Charles: Oh… okay…

 

Cuong: Yeah… kinda harsh… but at least we don’t have to carry Khoi…

 

Back at the ruins of Justin’s castle…

 

Justin: ::somewhat trampled:: At least I survived… phew… oh well, now it’s time for my revenge!

 

Joule is standing behind Justin…

 

Joule: shut up you idiot.

 

Justin: Huh? Who are you?

 

Joule: you’ve served your purpose… You’ve discovered the alchemist… and they will soon discover the belief of hope… Thanks… it was worth it giving you those powers…

 

Justin: What? What are you talking about?

 

Joule: Hmmm… I didn’t expect ID and SS to die that easily… Oh well…

 

Justin: Who are you? Answer my questions! I’m lord Justin!

 

Joule: ::points palm at Justin:: No… you’re nothing. ::A huge amount of red flame engulfs Justin and he is totally gone except for some ashes::

 

A swat team in suits with the letters N.O.D.A.T.S.S.T.U.P.I.D. on their backs come in.

 

Swat guy #1: Sir! What are our orders?

 

Joule: They’ll soon find another guy with powers… Well, drag them out.

 

Swat guy #1: …Sir? :[pic]:

 

Joule: Drag out the bodies of ID and SS… Our scientists will study them… and… also drag out that power stopping machine, it may become useful.

 

Swat guy #1: Yes sir! You heard him! Get the machinery and dig them out!

 

Joule: Hmm… what could possibly have enough power to kill SS?

 

The mysterious boss guy is behind Joule.

 

Mysterious guy: Seems, like… it was Super Suave… ::thinks to self:: But to think… he’d have the power of Trance:Berserker.

 

Joule: ::staring at mysterious boss guy:: ::thinking:: What are you planning?

 

Mysterious guy: ::thinking:: Hmm… actually… ID and SS’s death may be exactly what I need… to complete Projects X, Y, and Z… ::smiles::

 

Joule: ::thinking:: Why is he smiling and rubbing his hands… does he have a crush on me or something?

 

Back with Cuong, Khoi, Jon, and Charles.

 

Jon: how long is Khoi going to sleep? Dreaming… dreaming… dreaming about my naked body!

 

Cuong: Shut up…

 

Charles: YEAH! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! WHY WON’T YOU SHUT UP?! OMG! SHUT UP!

 

Everyone stares at Charles…

 

Charles: Sorry…

 

Jon: yeah… K’ Jidos rules…

 

Cuong: What? What is “K’ Jidos” anyways?

 

Jon: It’s ::swings back unswingable hair:: beauty at its finest…

 

Cuong: …more like at its worst…

 

Charles: Hey… wait… do you hear that?

 

Cuong: ::listens:: …sounds like… typing?

 

Jon: …Sorry, I let loose a big one…

 

Cuong: No! It sounds like typing… OH MAN! THAT SMELLS SO BAD!

 

Charles: Dude! What’d you eat?!

 

Jon: Coconuts and chocolate… hmm… and jello… why? What? Why are you looking at me like that? What?! Stop! I know I’m beautiful, but… whatever.

 

Charles: The typing noise is coming from there!

 

They rush over to the noise. Seiji is playing FFXI on a computer… strangely…

 

Cuong: Seiji?

 

Charles Seiji?

 

Jon: Computer? Can I check my email?

 

Seiji: Oh, hey… I’m playing right now.

 

Charles: Umm, Seiji… You do realize… You’re playing that game in an alternate dimension and that that computer has no wires attached to anything?

 

Seiji: Hmm… well that would explain the absence of all my friends in the game.

 

Cuong: Don’t tell me… that Seiji is the belief of hope.

 

Seiji: Huh? Sorry, I’m playing right now…

 

Cuong and Charles bash the computer.

 

Seiji: AHHHH!! You monstrous red giants! Look what you brainless chocobos did!

 

Cuong: Get us to the real world now!

 

Charles: yeah!

 

Jon: And give us some candy! CANDY!

 

Seiji: What are you guys talking about? The real world?… ::looks around:: umm… Why am I outside?

 

Cuong: Geez! You mean you never noticed you were in another dimension?!

 

Seiji: …I was playing…

 

Charles: Anyways, you have to get us to the real world!

 

Seiji: …The tv show?

 

Charles: No! THE WORLD WHERE WE LIVE!!!

 

Seiji: …Midgar?

 

Cuong: ::grabs Seiji:: Look Seiji, either we can stay in this world… or you can send us back to the real world so that you can play your games!

 

Seiji: …but I don’t know how to go back… why are you guys telling me to do it… you guys do it…

 

Charles: Dammit Seiji! Someone told us that you could change the world back!

 

Seiji: …but I can’t…

 

Cuong, Charles, and Jon huddle together.

 

Cuong: Guys… I don’t think that he knows he has powers…

 

Jon: Umm… what are his powers?

 

Charles: I don’t know…

 

Cuong: Well, it’s something that’s obviously powerful enough to change the world back.

 

Seiji: …This is boring… I want to play and stay home…

 

A portal appears behind Seiji…

 

Seiji: I’m out of here… ::goes into the portal and leaves::

 

The world begins to shake…

 

Charles: umm… what’s going on?

 

Jon: Umm… earthquake? WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE! ::starts to run around in circles::

 

Cuong: Ummm… uh oh?

 

Back to Joule and the swat team and the mysterious guy…

 

Joule: How do you know that the world will eventually change back?

 

Mysterious guy: Because the person they should have found right about now has the power to do anything he wants. As long as his intentions are pure and he is unaware that he has a power. All he has to do is want something to happen hard enough and it will happen.

 

The earth begins to shake under them.

 

Joule: :[pic]: What’s going on?

 

Mysterious guy: Heh, seems like he finally wished to go home…

 

Joule: How do you know about all these powers?

 

Mysterious guy: umm… oop… look at the time… better go! ::runs away::

 

Joule: Hey…

 

Huge flash of light… The world changes back…

 

Cuong: Hey!

 

Jon, Cuong, and Charles are at Charles’ house.

 

Jon: Crap… ::looks at Charles’ house:: We got sent to an even WEIRDER dimension…

 

Charles: Dude! This is my house!

 

Jon: Oh… I knew that… ::blushes::

 

Cuong: Finally, we’re back home… Hey, are we missing something?

 

Charles: Hmm… ::looks around:: Nothing important…

 

Khoi opens his eyes slowly… He’s in a huge white place… with nothing in it… no walls, no nothing.

 

Khoi: Umm… Nobody’s here… I guess this is a good place to do “it”… ::shifts eyes and zips down pants::

 

Suddenly a deep voice echoes…

 

Deep Voice: YOU’VE COME!!!

 

Khoi: I WASN’T DOING ANYTHING!!! I MEAN! Who said that?! OoOOOOoooh!

 

The voice echoes some more.

 

Deep voice: You have defeated my evil side… Therefore, you are my new master…

 

Khoi: Umm… are you a hot girl?… Cause that would be cool! OoooOOOOoooh!

 

A dark figure appears behind Khoi. Khoi screams like a little girl.

 

Khoi: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! DON’T MOLEST ME! I’M ONLY FOUR!… TEEN… plus three…. Who said that?!

 

Khoi turns around slowly… and sees a small kitten on the floor.

 

Khoi: Oh… It’s just a kitty… Hello there… Now, hurry… ::unzips zipper:: Get in my pants…

 

Neko-chan: ::normal guy voice:: What the fuck? You’re my new master?

 

Khoi: Umm… Cats can talk? ::picks up the kitten::

 

Neko-chan: WHAT THE FUCK BITCH! PUT ME DOWN! MEOWWWW!!!

 

Khoi: Umm… kitty?

 

The cat scratches Khoi.

 

Khoi: ::drops the cat:: OUCHIES! I DON’T LIKE YOUR ATTITUDE YOUNG LADY!

 

Neko-chan: Pff! Fuck you! ::stands on it’s hind legs:: I’m the berserker spirit NEKO-CHAN!

 

Khoi: Oh………………………………………………… Can I call you fluffy?

 

Neko-chan: NO! FUCKING FUCKSTERS! ::takes out a pack of cigarettes and lights one up and smokes it:: Shit… this is my new gig? Fuck… gotta get me a new agent…

 

Khoi: …The cat has profanity and smokes… and stands on its hind legs… JUST LIKE ME! OooOOOOoooh! I’ll name you Cuong Jr.!

 

Neko-chan: DAMMIT! YOU MOTHERFUCKER! I’M NEKO-CHAN! ::points to self:: NEKO-CHAN! GAY FUCKING SHIT FUCKER ASS WIPE! ::smokes more rapidly, takes out some skotch and takes a swig::

 

Khoi: Hee hee… he called me a shit fucker…

 

Neko-chan: Don’t you remember anything that happened, you ass?

 

Khoi: hmm… nope… other than zipping down my pants and telling you to get in…

 

Neko-chan: ::shudders: Gosh… this is fucking retarted up in this joint. Look fucker, I’m a berserker spirit, I’m here because you defeated my evil counterpart, which makes you my new master…

 

Khoi: Oh… can I trade you in for a green corolla?

 

Neko-chan: Dammit… You’re the stupidest motherfucker I’ve ever met… ::puts on glasses and takes out a book::

 

Khoi: hee hee… the kitty’s wearing glasses…

 

Neko-chan: Hmm… I see… seems like you’ve locked away parts of your memory because of some sort of traumatic thing happening?

 

Khoi: Hee hee… the cat can read…

 

Neko-chan: ::throws book and glasses away:: YOU BITCH ASS FUCKTARD! I’M NO CAT! I’M THE BERSERKER SPIRIT NEKO-CHAN! YOU ASSFUCKER!

 

Khoi: Hee hee, he called me a assfucker… cute kitty…

 

Neko-chan: That’s it bitch! ::breaks his skotch bottle on the floor:: Let’s go! I may be one thousand years old but I can kill like there’s no tomorrow! STEP UP BITCH!

 

Khoi: ::picks up Neko-chan:: Hmm… I think your anger comes from not being neutered… better take you to a vet.

 

Neko-chan: What the fuck?! PERVERTED ASS FUCKING CLOWN FACED BITCH ASS MONKEY FUCKING FUCKER SHIT ASS BITCH!

 

Khoi: …how rude… now you’re making me feel bad…

 

Neko-chan: ::hiss:: You fucker… put me down!

 

Khoi: geez… cusses so much… hmph… No litter box for you young lady!

 

Neko-chan: Get your hands off my fur coat! Bitch! ::pushes himself out of Khoi’s hands:: Man… fucking agent… ::looks through book again:: This guy’s Jason?! I don’t believe it… fuck… ::smokes even more rapidly::

 

Khoi: hee hee… Jason’s in my head.

 

Neko-chan: …what the fuck are you smoking gay fuck?

 

Khoi: sometimes I turn into Jason… he’s pretty sexy.

 

Neko-chan: Huh?! ::looks through book:: Dammit… they must have made a mistake… Fuck… I’ll have to deal with this. Anyways kid, I’m your new berserker spirit, Neko-chan. I help you through your Tranceformation…

 

Khoi: Umm… Tranceformation?

 

Neko-chan: Fuck… do you know anything? Shit… dumbass… you are now a Trance Berserker.

 

Khoi: …Huh? ::thinking about squirrels::

 

Neko-chan: grrr… in times of fucking perilous fucking danger. I’ll help you turn into a fucking berserker! YOUR FUCKING TRANCE FORM! You fucktard!

 

Khoi: Oh… I see… school bus… right… ::thinking about squirrels still::

 

Neko-chan: sigh… fuck it… we’ll see if I can fucking get to your shitty mind later…

 

A week later… Khoi wakes up from bed.

 

Khoi: Ahhh… what a nice dream… it had cats and girls in it… ::looks under sheets:: OooooooOOOOOH! Look like I got a little too excited…

 

Neko-chan jumps onto the bed.

 

Neko-chan: Finally, you’re fucking awake.

 

Khoi: …cat?

 

Neko-chan: Yeah bitch, “cat.” ::starts to smoke some more::

 

Khoi’s mom calls out.

 

Khoi’s mom: Hey! You’re finally awake?… I smell smoke! Are you smoking in there?!

 

Khoi: Uhh… no? It’s a cat!

 

Khoi’s mom: …Right…

 

Neko-chan: Look kid… I’m going to be following you around everywhere to see if you’re worthy of a high caliber berserker spirit like me…

 

Khoi: oh… want some meow mix?

 

Neko-chan: …idiot… I’M A… grr… fucking forget it…

 

At school…

 

Sophack: Where’s Joe and Deity?

 

Teacher: Hmm… they’ve been absent for quite a while…

 

At room 83…

 

Chris: So, where did Joe go again?

 

Cuong: ::looks sad:: He… moved to… umm… ::thinks:: … Texas…

 

Chris: Oh… WHY’D THEY TAKE AWAY MY RESTROOM! ::tear::

 

Leo: Now that I think about it… that Deity girl is gone too…

 

Charles: Umm… She got a job as a model in Hollywood…

 

Leo: Oh… dammit, I should’ve fucked her when I had the chance… which was never… ::tear::

 

Jon: Where’s Khoi…?

 

Cuong: Apparently… he’s at home… somehow… ::thinking:: It’s been a week since the world changed back… and Joe… and Deity…

 

Mr. Kim: Hey Charlie! Ruuster! Look after my stuff!

 

Charles: Okay…

 

Ru: Yoo caun caunt awn mee Mistar Keem. I won’t fuck yo microscopes… much…

 

Mr. Kim: hahahaha… good job Ru… ::thinking:: I never understand anything he says…

 

Khoi walks into the room.

 

Khoi: Hey guys! ::Neko-chan is on his shoulders::

 

Cuong: Hey… umm… why is there a cat on your shoulder?

 

Khoi: Huh? ::looks on his shoulder:: AHHH! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?! ::pushes it off::

 

Neko-chan: FUCKER!

 

Cuong: …

 

Charles: …

 

Seiji: …

 

Sophack: …

 

Whitey: …

 

Ru: …

 

Leo: …

 

Chris: …

 

Neko-chan: Ummm… meow? Meow? Meow?

 

Everyone: aww… cute kitty…

 

Neko-chan: ::thinking:: Fuck, I’m gonna pee in all these fucker’s lunches…

 

Ru: ::thinking:: Ai’m gunna masturbate in eberybodee’s launches…

 

Khoi: Oh… he’s neko-chan… ::picks up Neko-chan and puts him back up on his shoulder::

 

Sophack: Uhh… Khoi… why are you carrying a cat around?

 

Khoi: hee hee… he’s my supervisor!

 

Sophack: …right…

 

Khoi: So… Where’s Joe?

 

Cuong: ::confused look::

 

Charles: ::confused look::

 

Jon: ::confused look:: Dude… you killed Joe…

 

Sophack: Yeah, he moved to Tex… huh?

 

Jon: Oh! I mean… he went to… Texas… ::shifts eyes::

 

Khoi: …oh… okay then… and he didn’t say goodbye?! Awww…

 

Chris: My restroom went away without saying goodbye…

 

Leo: Deity moved away too…

 

Khoi: aww… but she was so hot…

 

Charles: ::whispers to Cuong:: Umm… he doesn’t remember anything?

 

Cuong: ::whispers back:: I think so…

 

Khoi: ::also whispering:: what don’t I remember?

 

Cuong: Oh! ::nervous laugh:: I mean… cute cat!

 

Charles: yeah…

 

Khoi: Yup! I’m gonna pick up chicks with it… oooOOOooooh!

 

Neko-chan: ::thinking:: Doesn’t he have the super suave powers? Idiot… he can get almost any girl he wants.

 

Later that day in Khoi’s trig class…

 

Khoi: Geez… this test is so hard…

 

Neko-chan: ::holding back laughter… DLK is looking at the cat strangely::

 

Daniel: umm… possessed cat?

 

Neko-chan: ::whispering:: This test is soooo easy… hahahahaha…

 

Khoi: Really?!

 

Neko-chan: yeah… these are the answers….

 

Later, Khoi gets the test back… it’s an F…

 

Neko-chan: Well, considering that I was drunk when I told you the answers…

 

Khoi: …Gosh! I’m already stupid enough without your advice Fluffy!

 

Neko-chan: YOU FUCKER! I’M NOT FUCKING FLUFFY! I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU!

 

At N.O.D.A.T.S.S.T.U.P.I.D. headquarters…

 

Mysterious guy: How’s X, Y, and Z coming?

 

There are 3 canisters in front of him and a woman scientist.

 

Scientist: Bad… I can’t get the electricity power right for X… Y’s powers are still unstable… and Z… she’s not doing so well.

 

Mysterious guy: Really… ::hands the scientist a packet of info::

 

Scientist: what is this?

 

Mysterious guy: Research on the bodies of projects ID and SS. Venus Deity Aphrodite and Joseph Choe… use it on them…

 

Scientist: ::looking at the info:: Wow… THIS IS AMAZING!… with this… ::looking at schematics of some sort of body:: Are you planning????

 

Mysterious guy: ::smiles:: Yes… for X, combine the Integrated Dynamite system… and for Y and Z combine the Super Sexy system. Those two systems should make them stable.

 

Scientist: …Isn’t this like tampering with the dead? I mean… ::flips another page of the packet:: Is this right? We’ll need to almost totally destroy the corpses of ID and SS to study enough to make this reality.

 

Mysterious guy: …Don’t forget why we’re doing this… Slice them up, dismember them, burn them, laser them, I don’t care, but I expect projects X, Y, and Z ready for deployment by next week they will be a group led by Lieutenant Joule.

 

Scientist: …I understand… ::calls over other scientists:: PREP THE CORPSES! WE’RE GOING TO STUDY THEM IN DEPTH!

 

Group of scientists: Yes ma’am!

 

Scientist: ::staring at the three canisters:: …Will you finally be born with this?…

 

Joule walks into the room.

 

Joule: Do you think that those three will be born?

 

Scientist: If the info we get from ID and SS is enough…

 

Joule: Hmm… well… if you feel so bad about destroying corpses… There is another solution… ::whispers into the scientist’s ear and gives off a rare and creepy smile::

 

Scientist: :[pic]: But that’s… even…

 

Joule: ::creepy smile:: Do it… after all… They are… my soldiers… ::thinks:: How much more interesting can I make this? Us four will take on… Super Suave, that shadow guy, that light guy, and that card guy. A battle like that… just makes me very excited… very excited.

 

To be continued…

5th Installment: Scars

A month after… all that happened… urr… in the last chapter…

 

Khoi: ::doing pushups with Neko-chan on his back:: Awww… why do I have to work?

 

Neko-chan: Shut the fuck up! I’m your new trainer! If you want to master Tranceformation! Then fucking listen to me you fucker!

 

Khoi: aww… but I don’t even like cats…

 

Neko-chan: DAMMIT! I’M A FUCKING BERSERKER! FUCKING GET IT FUCKING STRAIGHT! Shit… I need a smoke…

 

Khoi: and I’m allergic to smoke… ooooOOOOooooh!

 

Neko-chan: Do I look like I fucking care?… ::lights up a cigarette::

 

Khoi: Well… are you going to keep your promise? Remember… furry… hee hee….

 

A month before…

 

Neko-chan: Okay! Our training to master tranceformation starts today!

 

Khoi: Umm… who said that?

 

Neko-chan: Hey bitch, this is serious shit… It’ll really help you in a fight.

 

Khoi: But I don’t want to work… Hmph!

 

Jason: yeah… we should just go pick up girls… don’t listen to the cat…

 

Khoi: yeah… girls… ::imagines squirrels:: ::drools::

 

Neko-chan: GRRR! MEOWWWW!!! You fucking fuck! ::calms down:: fine… if you train… umm… your wildest dreams will come true!

 

Khoi: Really?! OooOOOoooh! So I’ll get a girlfriend?!

 

Neko-chan: urr… I mean… umm… I’ll give you a reward…

 

Khoi: …What kind of reward?… sex?

 

Neko-chan: …what?! YOU FUCKING GAYASS! ARRRRR!!!… Why was I stuck with this guy?… Shit… ::takes another smoke::

 

Khoi: AHHH! I’m allergic! Put it out! ::smacks the cigarrete out of Neko-chan’s paw::

 

The cigarette lands on Neko-chan’s tail… and it catches on fire…

 

Neko-chan: OH SHIT! YOU FUCKING CLUMSY OAF! DAMMIT! ::starts running around in circles to put out the flame::

 

Khoi: hee hee… he’s on fire…

 

Neko-chan: ::grabs his tail which is now smoking:: Grr… fuck… anyways… I’ll give you a reward…

 

Khoi: Again! What kinda reward?!

 

Neko-chan: umm… what do you want?

 

Khoi: …umm… a green corolla?

 

Neko-chan: ::rolls eyes:: Okay… if you master tranceformation, I’ll get you… ::sigh:: a green corolla…

 

Khoi: …really? YAY! THANKS FLUFFY!

 

Neko-chan: Yeah yeah yeah… fucking yippee doo dah dey…

 

Back in the present…

 

Neko-chan: yeah, yeah, yeah… whatever…

 

Jason: You know Khoi… you’re a fucking moron.

 

Khoi: hey! Shut up you sonuvabitch! OooooOOOOooooh! Who said that?

 

Cuong and Charles are eating lunch at KFC with Romi.

 

Cuong: So… it’s been a month now… Shouldn’t we tell Khoi the truth?

 

Charles: Nope… and whatever happened to Justin?

 

Romi: Uhh… what are you guys talking about?

 

Cuong: Umm… monkeys?

 

Romi: …oh… I get it… ::shifts eyes:: So, how bout that Karan?

 

Cuong looks strangely at Romi…

 

Cuong: Uhh… what about him?

 

Romi: uhh… ::blushes:: nothing…

 

Back at Khoi’s house…

 

Khoi’s mom: Hey! Where are you going?!

 

Khoi: Oh… the kitty said that I have to go to the mountains to train and get my green corolla…

 

Khoi’s mom: …right…

 

At the mountains…

 

Khoi: umm… so what is this going to do for me? ::sitting underneath a waterfall::

 

Neko-chan: Nothing, I just thought that you really needed a bath.

 

Khoi: oh…

 

At some trees…

 

Neko-chan: Alright… climb this fucking tree…

 

Khoi: …Umm… it’s a little high… can’t I climb that really tough hill over there?

 

Neko-chan: No!

 

Khoi: Aww… Are you sure you’re going to get me a green corolla?

 

Neko-chan: ::rolls eyes:: I said yes…

 

Khoi: …oooOOOoooh! Then I’ll climb it! I can fly! ::gets onto the tree… it withers away::

 

Neko-chan: …wow… didn’t expect that…

 

Khoi: aww… why does that always happen?

 

Charles: ::off in the distance:: SICK SICK SICK!

 

Khoi: …hee hee… Charles… what a viet…

 

Neko-chan: Hmm… off to the next fucking test…

 

Khoi: WHEE!

 

Neko-chan has set up a bunch of targets on the tree branches.

 

Neko-chan: Show me how you fight so far…

 

Khoi: Umm… okay… ::kicks Neko-chan in the balls::

 

Neko-chan: AHHH! WHAT THE HELL?! YOU BITCH! ::on the floor, holding his balls::

 

Khoi: hee hee… he’s touching his nuts… whee!

 

Ten seconds later…

 

Khoi: ::scratches all over him:: Ouchies… I hate cats…

 

Neko-chan: Okay… attack the targets!

 

Khoi: Umm… I’m a lover not a fighter…

 

Neko-chan: …sigh… fine… off to the… urr… FUCK! THIS IS GOING NOWHERE! So, you’re saying that you can only fight when you turn into Jason?

 

Khoi: Umm… nuttap?

 

Neko-chan: Huh?… sigh… this is going really badly… Can you turn into Jason right now?

 

Khoi: Hmmmzzzz…. Let me ask myself… Hey, Jason!

 

Jason: I heard the cat… don’t want to come out… I’m bored… and I’m already strong enough. Don’t need no tranceformation.

 

Neko-chan: Well? What did he say?

 

Khoi: He said he loves you and can’t interfere with OUR relationship… who said that?

 

Neko-chan: …geez…

 

At N.O.D.A.T.S.S.T.U.P.I.D. headquarters… Joule and a bunch of scientists are looking into a large white room the size of a gym from a room with windows all around.

 

Scientist #1: ::over loudspeaker:: Testing process… all hands leave the testing area. Stage 1 clear. Starting instruments… ::the scientists turn on all these gauges on a console and they turn on a bunch of cameras:: … Start simulation, 1st up… Project Meta X.

 

A door opens up into the large white room, a guy with a white mask which covers his entire face enters the room. He is wearing a plain black shirt, surprisingly white sneakers, a normal gray backpack with one strap going from one shoulder to his hip, white shorts, and a very large white armband on his left arm.

 

Joule: …What’s with the outfit… and the mask?

 

Scientist #1: Well… the outfit is actually designed to look normal, but in actuality… It greatly helps Meta X’s powers… The clothes are made of a synthetic material that conducts electricity…

 

Joule: …conducts electricity? Why?

 

Scientist #2: You’ll soon see… the mask is used to monitor their level of stress and is equipped with a earpiece. Also, it hides their identity on missions… like a ski mask for bank robbers or assasins…

 

Joule: …okay… why the backpack and armband? And why are the clothes so civilian looking?

 

Scientist #1: Again… those two items will show their purpose soon… and Meta X is an assassination machine… So, to be able to go undetected in large crowds… we decided to give him those types of clothes… Beta Y and Alpha Z both also have outfits similar to what they are capable of.

 

Joule: Okay… well start the test… let’s see what he can do.

 

Scientist #1: ::over loudspeaker:: Commence Test.

 

Scientist #2: Commencing test sequence…

 

Scientist #3: Sending orders to Meta X.

 

Meta X’s body begins to sort of charge up… Electricity crackles around his body. It suddenly starts to go berserk as a whole lot more electricity crackles around his body…

 

Joule: I see… normal clothes would get destroyed by that power.

 

Scientist #3: That’s not his full power yet…you haven’t seen the power of his supercharged flame…

 

Meta X’s body ignites on blue fire… but the fire is crackling with electricitiy.

 

Joule: :[pic]: …an electric fire?

 

Scientist #1: It’s called the supercharged flame… Using electricity… he can start a flame within his body… It’s a much more efficient way of doing things than ID did things. ID’s greatest weakness was that the flames were slow to create… Supercharging the flame program has made Meta X superior to ID in every way.

 

Joule: Hmm… impressive… What about Beta Y?

 

Scientist #2: Beta Y has already been tested… She has what we call Supercharged Transformation. Like the old SS program… she has the power to attract people of the opposite gender. However, in her transformed state… She has gained the power of wind.

 

Joule: …wind?

 

Scientist #1: Yes… she can emit wind and control wind with her body… it’s very exciting to watch…

 

Scientist #2: She was able to rip through a stainless steel safe with her powers.

 

Joule: …sounds exciting. What about Alpha Z?

 

Scientist #3: ::excited:: AH! ALPHA Z! OUR GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT!

 

Scientist #1: As you know… we were unable to originally stabilize the electricity power or wind power of X and Y. Using the information we got from ID and SS, we were able to efficiently use their powers to supplement the new ones. Z… was the most unstable of the original 3 and as such… ID and SS’s data alone really wasn’t enough. So… Alpha Z isn’t a supercharged type.

 

Joule: …So, how’d you stabilize Z?

 

Scientist #2: We used… BOTH ID and SS to supplement her original power… making her the only one in her class. She is not a supercharged type… She is… a fusioncharged type.

 

Joule: fusioncharge… and the project’s a girl?

 

Scientist #2: Yes.

 

Joule: What was her original power?

 

Scientist #2: ::smiles:: Water.

 

Joule: …wind, lightning, water… Not very original… so X, Y, and Z were meant to be like a storm.

 

Scientist #1: …yes… of course… we did that… on purpose… ::shifts eyes::

 

Joule: Well… her original power was water… but what is it now?

 

Scientist #3: Did you see the previous testing room?

 

Joule: Yes… it was decimated beyond belief. ::remembers the totally destroyed room::

 

Scientist #3: She did all that with her power because her power is…

 

Joule: Don’t ruin the surprise for me… But tell me… how is SHE doing?

 

Scientist #1: Who?… Alpha Z?

 

Joule: No… the stray we picked up…

 

Back to Khoi and Neko-chan.

 

Neko-chan: Sigh…

 

It’s nighttime and Khoi and Neko-chan have set up camp.

 

Neko-chan: YOU BASTARD! MADE ME DO ALL THE FUCKING WORK! LOOK AT ME! I’M NOT EVEN A FOOT AND A HALF!

 

Khoi: Well… I was supervising you… duh! StoOpid

 

Neko-chan: Whatever… fucker…

 

Khoi: Hey kitty…

 

Neko-chan: What?! And don’t call me fucking kitty!

 

Khoi: If you’re a berserker spirit… are there others?

 

Neko-chan: ::busts out another cigarette:: I suppose… there aren’t just berserker spirits though… there are several spirits… but the berserker spirit is the only spirit where you get a powerful beast to help you.

 

Khoi: Oh… so… where’s my powerful beast?

 

Neko-chan: I’M THE POWERFUL BEAST! YOU IDIOT!

 

Khoi: …no seriously…Where’s my powerful beast?!

 

Neko-chan: …I’m fucking going to sleep now…

 

At N.O.D.A.T.S.S.T.U.P.I.D. headquarters… in a dark room.

 

Meta X: ::wearing a mask:: This is stupid… when are they going to let us out.

 

Beta Y: ::also wearing a mask:: Shut up…

 

Meta X: No, you shut up…

 

Alpha Z: ::also wearing a mask:: Be quiet… some of us are trying to sleep.

 

Meta X: We don’t sleep… remember?

 

Alpha Z: Well, I’d like to feel the sensation of sleep one day.

 

Beta Y: If you don’t shut up, I’ll put you to sleep for good.

 

In a different room… Joule has met up with the head scientist.

 

Scientist: Did they do well?

 

Joule: They were strong… Not as strong as me… but still strong. They should take those with normal powers rather easily. However, their personalities seem very unstable.

 

Scientist: It can’t be helped… They weren’t born, they were created.

 

Joule: ::evil rare smile which he doesn’t usually do:: Come on doctor… we both know that that isn’t true… for some of them at least…

 

Scientist: You promised you wouldn’t mention that to anyone.

 

Joule: Don’t worry… but… in return for my silence… I want to know.

 

Scientist: Know what?

 

Joule: …Where are these powers coming from?

 

At Cuong’s house…

 

Cuong: man… I’m tired… been studying… too much…

 

Liliboilooser: hey

S W 12345: yo

Liliboilooser: do you have powers?

S W 12345: erm… what?

Liliboilooser: nvm

 

Cuong: I’m really bored… ::typing on his computer some more::

 

Suddenly… Cuong’s cellphone rings…

 

Cuong: ::answers:: Hello?

 

???????: I’m going to rip off all your clothes and make love to you alllll night…

 

Cuong: Uhh… what the fuck? Who is this?

 

???????: This isn’t… Seiji?

 

Cuong: No, this is Cuong!

 

Leo: Oh… hey Cuong… heh heh… umm… please don’t tell people how I live.

Cuong: …I’m going to go now…

 

Cuong hangs up. Cuong’s cellphone rings again.

 

Cuong: hello?…

 

Silence…

 

Cuong: Hey Kevin… is that you?

 

Silence…

 

Cuong: Dude, you’re starting to creep me out. Stop calling me like this.

 

Hitokiri: This is Hitokiri…

 

Cuong: Oh… how’d you get this number…

 

Hitokiri: That is not important… the important thing is the thing that I’m going to warn you about… and it’s a terrible thing that thing that is… that thing.

 

Cuong: …okay…

 

Hitokiri: Do not… I repeat, do not fight with the new projects… run away or you’ll die.

 

Cuong: Umm… new projects?… Okay, gotchya.

 

Hitokiri: good… have a good day! ::hangs up::

 

Cuong: ::thinks:: Well… if Hitokiri says so… I guess I’ll skip my AP Comp project… or I might die…

 

The next day, Khoi had returned to school.

 

Teacher: Khoi, where were you all these days?

 

Khoi: I was training with my “berserker spirit”… oooOOooooh!

 

Teacher: …sit down and try not to be gay…

 

Khoi: Okay! But I’m not going to make any promises… ::sits down::

 

Teacher: Okay students… Khoi has come back from… somewhere…

 

Girls: DAMN!

 

Boy: SHIT!

 

Khoi: oooOOOOooh?

 

Teacher: Also, we have a new student today… Her name is Al Foxrypedalofkysuuufudokoffmedapoojangameowkidbahfuhloff?

 

A pretty girl with long brown hair enters the room. She is wearing jeans, a plain white shirt, and a yellow hoodie.

 

Al: Yah, that’s my name.

 

Khoi: Heh? ::imagines Al in a circle of hearts:: She’s hot… ::drools::

 

Al takes out a honeybun and begins to eat it.

 

Khoi: Gasp!… I don’t believe it!

 

Al: ::spits out the piece of honeybun:: What is this shit?!

 

Khoi: Awww…

 

Al: ::wraps a fruit-roll up around the honeybun:: Now that’s better!

 

Khoi: …what is this… feeling…? ::song begins to play in Khoi’s head::

 

Do you believe in magic…

 

Khoi: And what’s with this gay song playing in my head?

 

Teacher: Umm… Al… where do you come from… your last name… is pretty exotic…

 

Al: …I come from…

 

Teacher: Yeah?

 

Al: far away…

 

Teacher: …okay… have a seat next to… Khoi.

 

Khoi: WHEEE!!!

 

Teacher: On second thought… you better sit at that table over there.

 

Khoi: Aww…

 

In the middle of class… everyone is taking notes…

 

Khoi: hee hee… I know how to get her attention…

 

She’s leaning back in her chair making bubbles with bubble gum…

 

Khoi: ::throws a crumpled up paper at her:: Take my note of love…

 

Al: ::thinking:: What’s this feeling of danger?… ::looks at the note coming at her and Khoi blowing a kiss at her:: oh hell nah!

 

Al leans back even more and dodges the piece of paper.

 

Al: Phew…

 

Khoi: I guess I threw it wrong… oh wellz! I’ll try again!… ::writes down another note:: Will… You… go… out… with…. Me…?… ooooOOOoooh! And now for the final touch! ::draws in a weird martian rhinocerous thing and stuffs a eraser in the paper:: She can’t refuse me now! ::throws it at her::

 

The paper hits her in the head.

 

Al: What the hell? ::picks it up and reads it:: ::thinking:: What’s with that… weird rhinocerous thing?…

 

Al writes down a note quickly and throws it into Khoi’s face.

 

Khoi: Wow! She has good aim! Hee hee… just like I like them… ::opens up the note::

 

Dear ugly guy,

Please stop throwing stuff at me… or I will kill you. And I would never go out with you unless you had some weird power that attracts the female population. Also… You have ketchup all over your face…

 

Khoi: Huh? ::wipes off the ketchup:: When’d that happen?… ::remembers:: oh, right… ::continues to read::

 

You are not my type… I have a boyfriend… go away and… do something that doesn’t involve you bothering me…… or little children… you look like a pedophile.

 

Khoi: Geez, why does everybody say that?… ::writes down another note and throws it at her::

 

Al: What the hell? ::opens up the note::

 

OooOOOooooh!

 

Al: …

 

After class…

 

Al: ::walking away:: Gosh… I hope that’s the last I see of that guy…

 

Khoi: ::pops out of nowhere:: HELLO!

 

Al: ::jumps up in fright, kicks in a random direction:: … ::looks down:: Oh… sorry… it was a reflex…

 

Khoi’s on the floor grabbing his nuts…

 

Khoi: Don’t worry, you can touch my balls anytime… oooOOooOOH! Who said… Hey! Come back here!

 

Al is sprinting away, leaving a dust cloud after her.

 

Jason: …She was kind of pretty… Let’s go get her.

 

Khoi: hey… now that I think of it… why didn’t our super suave powers work on her? Could it be… I’VE LOST MY MANLIHOOD! WHY?????

 

Jason: What manlihood?

 

Khoi: Shut up! I don’t like your attitude young lady! OooOOooOOH!

 

Jason: whatever… let me show you how it’s done… loser-sama…

 

Khoi: yay! I’m a higher rank than Cuong!… is that a good thing? OooOOoooh!

 

It’s lunch… Al is sitting on a bench reading a book.

 

Jason: Hello there… ::smiles, teeth sparkles::

 

Al: You again?… go away…

 

Jason: ::double takes:: heh heh… I’m sorry about what happened in class today… maybe we can be “friends”…

 

Al: That’s a pitiful line…

 

Jason: …Umm… Hi, my name is Jason…

 

Al: I thought your name was Fhoy or something…

 

Jason: Hahaha… some people call me Khoi… although I prefer to be called Jason.

 

Al: …Jason… what a boring name…

 

Jason: …You can call me anything you want…

 

Al: How about dipshit?

 

Jason: …::makes struggling noises as if he can’t get out what to say:: Are you not the least bit attracted to me?

 

Al: …What are you? Some kinda wannabe playboy?

Jason: …please tell me you’re lesbian… My pride! ::imagines himself falling into a dark bottomless hole::

 

Al: …no… I’m straight…

 

Jason: GAH!… ::goes into a still position:: Straight… straight… straight… how is it possible? ::in a dreamlike state::

 

Al: Hey… ::snapping her fingers:: You alright there?…

 

Jason: straight…. Straight… straight…

 

Al: …okay…

 

Jason: ::snapping out of it:: But, but, but… look! ::picks a random girl walking by:: Want to go out? ::takes out a rose as romantic music plays in the background:: I felt our souls harmonize as you walked past me a hundred times in my mind…

 

Random girl: ::tears in eyes:: sooooo beautiful! I want to bear your children!

 

Japkid comes out of nowhere with tears in his eyes also.

 

Jon: No! Let me bear your children!

 

Jason: See! Are you telling me that that had no effect on… where’d she go?

 

Al is running away really fast in the other direction.

 

Jason: ::jawdrop:: MY PRIDE!!!!

 

Khoi: MY HONEYBUN!!!… huh?

 

Jon: Don’t worry… I’ll comfort you… ::rubs Jason’s arm::

 

Jason: Man! Get off me! ::pulls his arm away from Japkid::

 

Khoi: Hey… he was making me feel better… oooOOoooh! Who said that?

 

Jason: Don’t worry, this isn’t over yet! I have my pride to defend!

 

That night, at Al’s home… Jason rings the doorbell.

 

Al: Yeah? ::opens the door:: What the hell are you doing here?

 

Jason: ::twinkle in eye, he’s dressed up in a suit and has a bouquet of roses:: I know you want me… it’s not your fault… You can’t deny it… after all, I am Jason… ::winks:: Huh? Where’d you go?

 

Al shouts from another room.

 

Al: I just called the cops about a stalker!

 

Khoi: STALKER! OH MY GOSH! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO JASON?! I’M TOO YOUNG TO BE SEEN TAKING OFF MY CLOTHES…

 

Jason: ::running away:: you fool! We’re the “stalker!”

 

Khoi: Oh… right… I knew that…

 

Suddenly, a guy in a mask appears in front of Jason.

 

Jason: Umm… can you get out of my way? I think I might have… harassed someone…

 

Meta X: Khoi Ho?

 

Jason: ARGH! Don’t call me that!

 

Khoi: YEAH!… wait…

 

Meta X: …Gosh… This is a gay assignment… You don’t look strong at all.

 

Jason: Yeah well, you’re probably wearing that mask because you’re freaking ugly!

 

Khoi: I wish I had a mask like that…

 

Another person appears behind Jason.

 

Beta Y: Now now, that isn’t nice…

 

Jason: Great… more masked people… What are you guys? Some weird gang? Cult?… muggers?… indy rock band?

 

Meta X: You wish… ::charges up, electricity begins to crackle around him::

 

Beta Y: Hmph… ::charges up, a large amount of wind begins to surround her::

 

Jason: Umm… okay… I’m guessing that stupid company?… Then I won’t hold back… ::pops out a bunch of Khois::

 

Khoi: Aww… now we have to fight now?

 

Khoi #1: Who said that?

 

Khoi #18: oooOOOooh!

 

Khoi #9: I’m hungry! Let’s go get some steak!

 

All the khois: ooOOoooh!

 

Jason: Fags… you guys take on that girl… I’ll take on this guy…

 

Most of the Khois: Take on the girl! YAY! OoooOOooooh!

 

One Khoi in the back: Nay! I mean… who said that? ::looks around at all the other Khois:: ooooOOOOoooh?

 

Khoi #15: We better call for reinforcements!

 

All the khois: NUNUNUNUNUNUNUNUNUNUNUNUNUNUNUNUNUNUNUNU!!!

 

Where Jon is…

 

Jon: Argh! My head!… too many signals! Khoi… in danger… must… go… help… after eating… ice cream… ::takes another bite out of his icecream:: Yum… Cookies and cream…

 

Back to Khoi and Jason…

 

Jason: Well then, let’s get started…

 

Khoi #5: Yeah! Let’s get jiggy with it! Wheee!

 

Jason: …::sighs in disgust::

 

Meta X: Hmm… ::lights up his arm with blue supercharged flame:: I’m kinda mad that you think you can take me alone.

 

Jason: Well, I can… ever think about that… ::thinking:: That flame… isn’t normal…

 

The flame is crackling with electricity.

 

Beta Y: I wonder if it will take me two seconds to beat all these freaks to the ground…

 

Khoi #7: Hey! It will take at least 3!

 

All the Khoi’s nod in agreement.

 

Meta X: …Beta…

 

Beta Y: What?…

 

Meta X: Remember how we held back during those stupid tests?

 

Beta Y: Yeah…

 

Meta X: Don’t hold back this time… kill them.

 

Beta Y: ::smiles:: What did you think I was going to do?

 

At Cuong’s house… He’s sick and is under a blanket in his room.

 

Cuong: I have a bad feeling………………………… I’m going to puke! ::runs to the bathroom::

 

At Charles’ house…

 

Charles: ::hears a noise in his backyard, gets off his computer and looks up at the sky:: It looks like it’s going to rain…

 

On a hill that has a clear view of all the Khois, Jason, Meta X, and Beta Y…

 

Joule: Don’t you want to help your old friend?

 

The person Joule is talking to is silent…

 

Joule: You know… it’s funny… when I found you… I had no idea what to think… We had your dead body… and then you showed up. So… I guess that body we got was your other side…

 

The person Joule is talking to has a long scar on her arm.

 

Joule: You know… I always liked this side of you better…

 

??????: shut up…

Joule: Of course… you are merely surviving on the medication we give you… I wouldn’t really call you living though… You were always just some split persona…

 

??????: …

 

Joule: but now you’re real… What will you do now?

 

??????: You’re really creepy now… weren’t you the calm and cool type before?

 

Joule: We all wear masks… isn’t that right? Ecstasy…

 

Ecstasy: …

 

Joule: I don’t know how you and Deity split bodies… but… that’s not the question anymore…

 

Ecstasy has scars all over her body…

 

Joule: The question is… what will you do?

 

Ecstasy: …

 

Joule: What will you do?…

 

To be continued…

T.R.A.N.C.E.

6th installment: The Couple, The Glutton, and the Island

Jason: So, are you going to stand there all day? Or are we going to get started?

 

Meta X: First, let me say one thing…

 

Jason: What?

 

Meta X: Chiken BUTT! ::makes weird pose as Jason makes a quizzical look at him::

 

Jason: What’s… with this guy?

 

Meta X: Hehe… okay… I was just kidding about that… now that that’s through…

 

Meta X rushes at Jason and takes a swing with a supercharged flaming back heel kick. Jason flips back to dodge.

 

Jason: You’ll need more than that…

 

Meta X: ::suddenly behind Jason now:: by the way… I’m fast.

 

Jason: What the hell?…

 

Meta X grabs Jason’s hands and shoots electricity into him.

 

Jason: ACK! ::thrown far back::

 

Meta X: Come on… I thought this would be more fun… Let me have some fun before they lock me back up in that room.

 

Jason: Masked weirdo… I got your trick now… You send a charge of electricity to your legs to speed up the cells, giving you tremendous speed.

 

Meta X: Eh? I just do it, I don’t know how I do it… hmph… ::unleashes some more supercharged flame around his arm:: Like this! ::rushes at Jason::

 

Meta X swings up with his fist, Jason backs off to dodge, Meta X does a quick spin and kicks Jason in the stomach. Jason slides back holding his stomach.

 

Jason: Shit.

 

Meta X: My, my… you’ve pretty weak… I haven’t even used half of my skills yet…

 

Jason: ::thinking:: This guy’s too fast… He’s not letting me get off any hits… I got to get on the offensive!

 

Jason begins to flip towards Meta X at a rapid pace.

 

Meta X: Oh? This may be more interesting now…

 

Jason kicks down from the flip at Meta X, Meta X, spins to dodge and crouches down. Meta X does a leg sweep toward’s Jason. Jason jumps over the leg sweep and flips back onto his feet. Jason punches down towards Meta X. Meta X charges up his legs with supercharged flame and spins on his back to make Jason back off his attack. Meta X gets back and punches toward Jason. Jason dodges to the side, grabs X’s arm and throws him.

 

Meta X: ::landing on his feet:: Heh, this is getting more fun…

 

Jason: ::didn’t stop attacking, running towards Meta X:: You let your guard down! ::jumps up in the air and drop kicks Meta X in the stomach::

 

Meta X slides back a little.

 

Meta X: … ::holding stomach, grimaces:: Well then… you seem stronger than before… ::legs begin to crackle with electricity:: Then… I’ll stop holding back!

 

Meta X dashes towards Jason as his legs rip through the ground. He’s going so fast that his image is just a blur.

 

Jason: Too fast! ::flips backwards to avoid Meta X::

 

Meta X is above Jason somehow.

 

Jason: ::thinking:: He was able to get above me without me noticing?!

 

Meta X kicks Jason straight down to the floor with a foot in supercharged flame.

 

Jason: Ugh… that hurt… ::getting back up slowly::

 

Meta X: ::lands back on the ground, looks unimpressed:: Hey… are you done already?

 

Jason: …no…

 

With Khoi and Beta Y.

 

Beta Y: Heh, just a bunch of faggots…

 

Khoi #24: Hey! We resent that! OooOOOooooh!

 

Khoi #23: Actually, she’s right… you do kinda look like a fag…

 

Khoi #4: Shut up! Men are talking here!

 

Beta Y: It would be a waste of my time to get into a prolonged fight with these guys… I’ll end this with one move… ::wind begins to rush out from her body::

 

Khoi: Umm… uh oh?

 

Beta Y: BLADE DANCE! ::swings arm at the Khoi’s, several vacuums in the air appear and begin to rip through all the khois::

 

Khoi #3: Ouchies!!!

 

Khoi #11: Who did that?!

 

Khoi #5: Awww….

 

All the Khoi’s except for one dissapear.

 

Khoi: Umm… good… I didn’t like all those fags… ooOOOoooh! Who said that?! There can only be one! Hmph!

 

Beta Y: …It’s not even worth my time to kill you… ::takes out small fan made out of paper:: Hmph… ::swings the fan at Khoi:: GUST BLAST!

 

A huge updraft of wind catches Khoi and he begins to fly off into the distance.

 

Khoi: I can’t believe it…. I can flyyyyy!! ::disappears into the night sky, star twinkles as he gets out of seeing distance::

 

Beta Y: Well that wasn’t fun…

 

Back to Jason and Meta X… Meta X is taking a whole mess of swings at Jason while Jason dodges. Jason kicks towards Meta X’s midsection, Meta X blocks and uses supercharged flame to push the kick away, Jason swings to his other side with a backhanded fist… Meta X leans back to dodge the hit and supports his entire body with one hand on the ground. Meta X uses his legs to catch Jason’s neck and then flips Jason onto his back with his hand. Meta X rolls away and gets back onto his feet as Jason is on the ground.

 

Jason: Tch…

 

Meta X: …come on… your close range fighting was supposed to be good… This is unbelievably pitiful.

 

Jason: ::jumps back to his feet:: Let’s try this then… ::begins to spin his hands in a circular motion::

 

Meta X: Oh? What’s this?

 

Jason: ::hands moving really fast now:: CRAZY 8!!! ::runs toward Meta X:: TAKE THIS!!!

 

Meta X: Pff… hopeless… ::moves to the side and does a plain kick upwards to dodge the crazy 8 and to kick Jason in the stomach::

 

Jason: ::thinking as he falls to the ground:: He… predicted my moves?!

 

Meta X: That technique… is a straight attack designed to defeat the opponent in one move… However, both your arms are needed and that leaves your whole body vulnerable. You have neither arm to defend with and you’re already going at a top speed where you cannot stop… It’s a weak attack… very unreliable…

 

Jason: ::on the floor:: ::smiles:: Really? You forget one thing…

 

Meta X: What’s that?…

 

Jason: The phantom wind stab… ::getting up slowly::

 

Meta X: :[pic]: Phantom Wind Stab?… ::shocked look, falls to knees begins to cough up blood:: What… what happened?

 

Jason: heh… the crazy 8 ain’t your normal run of the mill technique because it’s a JASON SPECIAL! ::grins, teeth sparkle::

 

Meta X: What… is that… it’s called the crazy 8 not the wind stab…

 

Jason: Think about the attack smart guy… The crazy 8 is a rapidly spinning hand motion used to pierce the enemy defenses and deal great damage… But the rapid spinning has other effects… In the center of the spinning hands is a vacuum of air being created… allowing the crazy 8 to rip through anything… That is the phantom wind stab… if you manage to block the crazy 8, you will still get ripped through…

 

Meta X: …I didn’t block the attack! I dodged it!… I couldn’t have been touched by that vacuum…

 

Jason: Heh… ::smiles:: That’s because you were hit by the Phantom Wind Shockwave… another effect of the crazy 8… The winds in the center of the spinning hands are pushed outside the hands creating a strong force rushing out from all sides of the crazy 8… However… the releases of wind are in a rhythm which will send shockwaves into the opponent if the opponent happened to dodge the attack.

 

Meta X: …The ultimate offensive move… with a strong defense also?… shit… ::coughing up more blood::

 

Jason: This fight is over… accept your defeat…

 

A sudden blade of wind rushes at Jason… Jason jumps back to avoid it as the blade of wind rips through a nearby bench.

 

Jason: What the…?!

 

Beta Y: All this fucking talk about wind… what do you know about it? ::looks over at Meta X:: Pitiful bastard…

 

Meta X: UGLY BITCH!

 

Beta Y: DOG FUCKER!

 

Meta X: Cheap whore!

 

Beta Y: Ugly faggot!

 

Khoi runs up from outta nowhere as Jason stares at the two masked people insult each other.

 

Khoi: I finally made it back… so tired… who said that?!

 

Jason: Shit… separating with you made my fight extra hard…

 

Jason and Khoi merge back together as Khoi.

 

Khoi: Umm… Jason… there’s still one more… Don’t leave me here to be molested! I’m too cute! OoOOOOOooh! Who said that?!

 

Beta Y: Enough of these insults… ::whispers:: fuckface…

 

Meta X: ::whispering:: cheap bitch.

 

Khoi: ::whispering:: Honey bun…

 

Beta Y: sorry, but you’ll be coming with us ugly guy…

 

Khoi: Who? Where’s the ugly guy? ::looks around… look of realization:: Oh…

 

Beta Y: Yeah, that’s right…

 

Khoi: You’re looking for Jon…

 

Beta Y: ::nodding:: Yup… we’re looking for… WHAT?! NO! Maybe I should just cut off your legs to make you shut up… ::takes out her fan again::

 

Khoi: Geez… How kinky… if you want to do me just ask! Gosh… stOopid!

 

Meta X: Dammit, this guy’s annoying…

 

Beta Y: I’ve had enough of his ugly face! ::swings fan, sending out a bunch of wind blades::

 

Khoi: Uh oh… my whole life is flashing before my eyes… ::can only hear “ooooOOoOOoh”:: …sigh… twas a good life…

 

A bunch of yu gi oh cards come and cut through the wind blades…

 

Beta Y: :[pic]: What the fuck? Someone cut my wind blades?…

 

Shadowy figure in the moonlight: HAHAHAHAHAHA! I AM THE GREAT AND HANDSOME PIMPLY GUY! CHINESE WITH AN ATTITUDE! BUT AM I REALLY CHINESE! NOT EVEN I! JAPKID KNOW!… But know this evil! Beware of the oily face of JUSTICE! ::does a pose::

 

Khoi: Stupid Jon… hee hee… he’s gay…

 

Jon falls out of the pose…

 

Jon: Bloody hell… worked all day on that pose…

 

Khoi: ::slaps Jon:: Stop sounding like a british guy! You aren’t that cool! OooOOOoooh!

 

Jon: … ::tears welling up in eyes::

 

Beta Y: What’s this? Another weird guy has appeared…

 

Jon: ::twitch… turns toward Beta Y:: I’M NOT WEIRD! I AM JAPKID! THE KING OF WEIRD! NUNUNUNUNUNUNUNUNUNUNUNNUNUNUNUNU!

 

Beta Y: …is that your mating call or something?

 

Jon: Urr… umm… What?! No!

 

Beta Y: Sigh… this is getting troublesome… I’m guessing more of these weird guys will come… ::walks over to Meta X and picks him up:: We’ll be back to kill you guys later…

 

Jon: Not unless we kill ourselves first!… wait… darn… bloodly hell…

 

Khoi: Stop acting English before I rape you… like last time… ::shifts eyes::

 

Jon: …wait what?

 

Khoi: I mean… who said that? ::looks around like an idiot::

 

Jon: …right…

 

Beta Y: Tch… ::begins to jump away… with Meta X on her back::

 

Khoi: Heehee… she’s carrying that guy like he’s a girl… how unmanlyish… ooOOOOoooh!

 

Beta Y has carried Meta X pretty far away from Khoi and Jon as they still dash away…

 

Meta X: That bastard…

 

Beta Y: Heh, I was surprised… I didn’t think you would get hurt that easily…

 

Meta X: Neither did I… but I found out the weakness to that attack… the crazy 8…

 

Beta Y: Hmm… so I guess it’s true… after you see a attack once, you can beat it…

 

Meta X: Yes… that is the key to a great defense… next time… ::clenches fist:: I will not lose…

 

Beta Y: By the way… sorry for what I called you back there…

 

Meta X: …yeah… me too…… stop carrying me… it’s very unmanlyish… I mean! I’m fine now… I just need to rest a little…

 

They stop in a alley and she lets him off… They sit down against the wall.

 

Beta Y: They’ll be wondering where we went…

 

Meta X: …yeah…

 

X grabs Y’s hand…

 

Meta X: …Unbelievably cold…

 

Beta Y: …don’t worry… Once we finish this job… they have to give those back to us…

 

Meta X: …Hopefully… ::takes off mask::

 

Beta Y: ::also takes off mask::

 

Meta X: If it’s to be with you… I don’t care… I’ll kill anyone…

 

Beta Y: …is that supposed to be romantic or something?

 

Meta X: Heh, let’s stay here for a while… like this…

 

Beta Y: …Yeah…

 

Back to Khoi and Jon… Khoi is hugging Jon as Jon struggles to escape…

 

Khoi: Let’s stay here a while… like this…

 

Jon: umm… I’m flattered… but… GET YOUR BLOODY HANDS OFF ME!!!

 

Khoi: not until you start speaking like an asian again!

 

Jon: …bloody hell…

 

Khoi: It’s useless to struggle! OooOOOoooH!… by the way… nice ass, have you been working out?

 

Jon: Finally, someone noticed!… let go of me! ::shudders and breaks free of Khoi::

 

Khoi: Aww…

 

Joule and Ecstasy look on as Khoi chases Jon all over the place.

 

Joule: I was surprised… you didn’t try to help them.

 

Ecstasy: …

 

Joule: Think about where your loyalties lie… ::walks off:: I don’t know what you’re thinking right now… but no one in this world will accept you or what you are. ::leaves::

 

Ecstasy: …

 

At N.O.D.A.T.S.S.T.U.P.I.D. head quarters… the mysterious boss guy is speaking to a scientist.

 

Mysterious guy: So, how’d it work?

 

Scientist: X, Y, and Z are easily controlled with the device… the artificial heart.

 

Mysterious guy: Really… good… as long as they have those in place of their real ones… they’re in my control… or… boom… heart goes explode bye bye…

 

Scientist: X and Y have also just returned… They failed…

 

Mysterious guy: Give them time… They are just prototypes…

 

Scientist: Understood…

 

The next day at school…

 

Jon: And then… Khoi was getting beaten up pretty badly by this small guy, really small. So I stepped in with my might buffness and went like “Hey! Japkid commands you to stop!” Then he ran away carrying his injured comrade… HA HA HA! ::triumphant laugh::

 

Ru: Wai yoo telling us all dese yami? Mahn… I wonna matorbate wit Marvin.

 

Charles: Wait… what?

 

Cuong: So… whatever…

 

Suddenly, there’s a shrill scream coming from the room next door.

 

Khoi: ooooOoOooOOh! Sounds like a date for Khoi!

 

Cuong: or a snack for tubby!

 

Khoi: …

 

Charles: …

 

Cuong: Let us go “investigate.”

 

Cuong and Charles go to investigate… Khoi is too lazy so he stayed behind.

 

Cuong: ::shock:: what the?

 

Charles: ::shock:: ugh… that’s nasty…

 

There’s a dead body on the floor… With huge chunks of it missing.

 

Cuong: dude… that smell… ::looks woozy::

 

Charles: …

 

Later, there are several policemen in the school.

 

Policeman #1: Man, this is some pretty sick shit…

 

Policeman #2: yeah, looks like someone carved this person up to look like he took bites out of the body…

 

Policeman #1: Reminds me of how sick some people are…

 

Policeman #3: Another thing… the vocal chords… are missing… like totally gone… But the neck is intact.

 

Policeman #1: Are you serious?

 

Khoi runs into the room.

 

Khoi: Okay! I just finished watching season one of CSI! Now let me see the body! If it’s hot! I’ll need to take it to my house for… umm… “analysis.” ::shifts eyes:: ooooOOOOoooh!

 

The investigators look at each other, look at Khoi, and look back at each other again.

 

Investigators together: …suspect.

 

Later that day, Khoi is locked behind bars.

 

Khoi: …how kinky…

 

Guard: Ho! You got visitors!

 

Cuong and Charles come in.

 

Khoi: You guys got to get me out of here! A country gal like me in a prison of huge bald men with tattoos! OooooOOOoooh! Makes me a bit woozy! Is it getting hot in here or is it just me? ::bats eyelashes::

 

Cuong: ::shudders:: STOP THAT!

 

Khoi: …fine… who said that?

 

Charles: Well, unfortunately… you’re their number one suspect… You’re weird… you play yu gi oh… you were one room away at the time… and you rushes in like an idiot demanding to have the body… not to mention your record of sexual offenses…

 

Khoi: Hey hey hey! I was framed for touching that guy’s ass! ::shifts eyes:: Who said that?

 

Cuong: Well… whatever… I’ll solve this mystery… on Tubby’s word!

 

Charles: …I’m just going to follow him along…

 

Khoi: good… umm… can you get me a cake with some sort of honeybun baked inside… instead of a crowbar…

 

Charles: Why don’t we just get you a honeybun?

 

Khoi: Don’t question me young lady! Who said that? ::looks confused:: …Why?

 

Charles: Why what?

 

Khoi: Why’d you just call yourself a young lady?

 

Charles: WHAT?! You called me that!

 

Khoi: …prove it… ooooOOOooOH!

 

Charles: ::charles voice:: …damn…

 

Cuong: Anyways… I wonder who did it…

 

That night at the jailhouse…

 

Guard: Ho! You’re free to go!

 

Khoi: oooOOOoooh! Finally, my sexiness got to you…

 

Guard: Ugh! No! You’re innocent… While you’ve been in there… four more deaths have been reported… all with chunks missing out of their bodies… and their vocal chords gone. What a sick bastard who’s doing this…

 

Khoi: yeah… he’s probably very kinky… oooOOOoooh!

 

Guard: …yeah, whatever…

 

Khoi: Okay! I’m going to go home now!

 

At N.O.D.A.T.S.S.T.U.P.I.D. headquarters… they’re mobilizing a group of the swat team guys.

 

Leader 1: There have been several incidences reported today of an abnormal guy taking out chunks of people… In broad daylight.

 

Swat guy #2: For this briefing… how did he do it?

 

Leader 1: The victims all had their vocal chords missing, that means no screaming, no yelling for help. This guy’s really sick… but he’s not normal. The neck and area around the vocal chords were intact.

 

The swat guys murmur amongst themselves.

 

Leader 1: We will spread out around the whole city. Do not let any more civilians go down! Do not reveal this unknown to the authorities. Do not kill him. This is a capture! We want him alive!

 

Meta X and Beta Y are watching the debriefing from atop the second floor.

 

Meta X: Heh, some guy taking chunks outta random people and also ripping out their vocal chords… sounds like some sort of demon.

 

Beta Y: Yes.

 

Meta X: Tch… ::turns around and folds his arms:: Why do we get stuck here while Alpha Z gets to do anything she likes?

 

Beta Y: I don’t know… maybe we shouldn’t have held back during the tests…

 

Meta X: Hmm… maybe…

 

Suddenly, a middle aged woman comes running towards Beta Y and Meta X while being chased by a bunch of guards.

 

Guards: Stop right there!

 

Woman: You!

 

Meta X: What the?

 

Woman: ::stops in front of Beta Y:: What have they done to you? ::grabs onto Beta Y::

 

Beta Y: What are you doing old lady?!

 

Woman: :[pic]: Don’t you remember me! Come on! You have to remember me!

 

Beta Y: Get off me!

 

Meta X: Let go of her!

 

Meta X pulls the mysterious woman off of Beta Y as Guards take her into custody.

 

Woman: Don’t forget! ::throws a locket at Beta Y, Beta Y catches it:: DON’T FORGET ME! I’M SORRY!

 

Beta Y: Huh? Sorry old lady… don’t know you.

 

The woman gets dragged away by the guards screaming.

 

Meta X: What was that about?

 

Beta Y: I don’t know… ::looks down at the locket::

 

Scene change… A mysterious guy is floating in some sort of white place.

 

Mysterious guy: What… is this? ::looks down at his arm, it’s disintegrating slowly:: What the?! WHERE AM I?!

 

Back to Cuong and Charles at 2:00 am… looking for the serial killer.

 

Charles: I’m scared… hold me…

 

Cuong: dude… don’t touch me…

 

Charles: Hey! You’re hugging me too!

 

They’re holding each other as they go down a dark alley.

 

Charles: I want to go home… Let’s just leave this to the cops…

 

Cuong: Come on… what if it’s a clue to why we’re like this?

 

Charles: Big deal, we have powers! Do we NEED to know where they came from?

 

Cuong: Well… I’m curious…

 

A shadowy figure jumps out at Cuong and Charles. Cuong and Charles scream like girls.

 

Cuong and Charles: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

 

Crazy Hobo: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! ::falls backward:: ALIENS! ::point::

 

Cuong: Uhh… my heart… ::sigh of relief:: It’s just a crazy hobo…

 

Charles: phew…

 

Crazy Hobo: You know… the biscuits talk to me… ::wide eyes::

 

Charles: Right…

 

Cuong: Hey, crazy guy… umm… did you see some guy that looks like this?

 

Charles: ::takes out a picture:: This is my interpretation of what the killer might look like.

 

Charles takes out a badly drawn picture of a reindeer like thing combined with a car with two buster rifles on the side.

 

Cuong: Uhh… dude… what the hell is that?

 

Charles: The killer!

 

Cuong: …

 

Crazy Hobo: BAH! REINDEERS are the slaves of the one they call the boogallooo! Whoo hoo! Biscuits… don’t let them biscuits fool you… they’re evil I tells ya! ::grabs Charles::

 

Charles: DON’T TOUCH ME! ::pushes the hobo off::

 

Crazy Hobo: So YOU’RE IN AN ALLIANCE WITH THE BISCUITS TOO?! DIE GRAVY!

 

The crazy hobo starts to beat Charles with a trash can lid.

 

Charles: Ow! Stop that! Cuong! A little help!

 

Cuong: …this is kinda like wrestling… ::sits down and starts to eat popcorn that came out of nowhere:: This entertains me… I think I’ll let it go on for a bit longer.

 

At Jon’s house… he’s sleeping. He feels an eerie chill so he wakes up… and sees a smiling figure outside his window.

 

Jon: AHHH!… oh… it’s just you… what do you want…

 

The figure is still smiling…

 

Jon: …why are you watching me in bed… I can’t blame you though… I am bloody brilliantly beautiful! ::rips off shirt:: Check out my pecs! My three sizes are 83, 84, and 79!

 

The figure is still smiling.

 

Jon: Umm… okay…stop that…

 

The smiling figure headbutts the window and jumps into Jon’s house.

 

Jon: What the?! ::grabs a card::

 

Jon’s whole house collapses… Jon comes flying out the back.

 

Jon: Ack! My mom’s going to kill me…

 

The smiling figure headbutts Jon again and bites his arm.

 

Jon: OW! NO BITING! ::takes a swing at the smiling figure with one of his sharp cards, forcing him to back off:: ::throws 3 more sharp cards at the smiling figure::

 

The smiling figure eats the 3 cards and smiles even more.

 

Jon: What the?! Alright… if you want to play that way… ::takes out his whole deck box… urr bag thing and opens it up:: Card… hurricane! ::all the cars come flying out of the deckbox at the smiling figure from all different sides::

 

Smiling figure: ::smiles even wider if possible:: ::gets stabbed by many cards and starts to bleed like crazy, falls down::

 

Jon: Whoa… scary… ::gets a chill:: I need some hot cocoa…

 

The smiling figure rises again as Jon screams like a girl.

 

Jon: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

 

Smiling figure:: ::still smiling, he’s healing up as Jon screams like a girl at the top of his lungs, the cards are being pushed out of his body::

 

Jon: ::grabbing his neck:: ::can’t speak:: ::looks down at where the guy bit him… the wound is getting very green::

 

The smiling figure runs at Jon with his mouth wide open. Suddenly, Hitokiri jumps between them and kicks the smiling figure in the face.

 

Hitokiri: MOVE! ::bright light surrounds him:: FIRAGA!

 

The smiling figure is burnt to a crisp.

 

Hitokiri: ::turns:: Let’s run! He’s going to get back up! ::grabs Jon as Jon points at his mouth silently:: What? You want something to eat? ::stuffs a loaf of bread in Jon’s mouth, Jon begins to choke as Hitokiri carries him away::

 

Hitokiri and Jon run away… as the smiling figure gets back up… his skin is starting to turn normal again. The smiling figure… is still smiling…

 

Smiling figure: …

 

Suddenly, a van of N.O.D.A.T.S.S.T.U.P.I.D. agents come and they rush out and point their guns at the smiling figure.

 

Agent #1: Aim for the legs! Wound it! Don’t kill it!

 

Smiling figure: ::utters out one word:: food? ::runs at the agents while smiling::

 

Agent #3: What the?! Fire!

 

The agents shoot at the smiling figure… the smiling figure chomps down on a couple of bullets and jumps onto one of the agents, he bites into the agent’s head and rips off the top half of it.

 

Agent #5: WILLIS! You BASTARD! ::firing gun point blank into the smiling figure::

 

Smiling figure: ::unphased by the bullets… runs up to Agent #5 and takes a huge bite out of his leg::

 

Agent #5: AHHHH!!

 

All the other agents look scared as they fire their guns futiley at the smiling figure.

 

Smiling figure: ::smiling with blood all over his mouth:: FOOD! ::jumps really high towards the agents::

 

Agent #2: Oh shit!

 

A gust of wind knocks the smiling figure back down to the ground. Meta X and Beta Y arrive on the scene, Beta Y has her fan in hand…

 

Meta X: You guys leave… We’ll handle this…

 

Agent #2: Carry out the bodies! You heard them! This place is going to become a warzone!

 

Agent #3: ::carrying out Agent #5:: Bill, are you okay?

 

Agent #5: ::trying to speak, but can’t::

 

The agents leave, Meta X and Beta Y stare down the bloody figure…

 

Meta X: ::opens up his backpack and takes out two short swords(ninja swords), puts them into sheaths located on the back of his pants, takes off the cover off his armband, revealing armor all over his arm, takes out a shuriken(ninja star) holder from the back pack and puts it onto his side:: Heh, the tools those fools gave me will come in handy this time… ::throws the covering of the armband and the backpack away::

 

Beta Y: Well, if you’re going to do that… ::opens up a back on the back of her belt and pulls out another fan, she now has two fans in each hand:: Let’s not hold back…

 

Meta X: ::smiles:: We always say that… do we really mean it?

 

Beta Y: This time yes…

 

Smiling figure: ::smiling still:: you… food?

 

Meta X: Shut your mouth! ::throws a couple of supercharged shuriken at the Smiling figure, the metal conducts the electricity and the shuriken are going faster than bullets, they rip up the smiling figure::

 

Beta Y: yeah, and stop eating people you sick freak! ::swings one fan up, and swings the other right after, sending multiple wind blades at the smiling figure, also ripping it up::

 

The smiling figure begins to heal… Meta X and Beta Y rush towards him in a coordinated fashion as if they work together really well.

 

Meta X: you think we’ll let you! ::takes out both of his short swords in the backhand position, they’re also made up of metal so they supercharge also, turning bright blue::

 

Meta X begins to slash the smiling figure while he’s still on the ground. Beta Y connects her two fans together and swings up, both Meta X and the smiling figure get thrown into the air.

 

Meta X: ::sheathes his supercharged swords and charges up the armor on his arm, the arm ignites on supercharged flame:: Take this! ::hits the smiling figure in the air with the flaming supercharged arm, knocking him straight into the ground hard, jumps back to where Beta Y is::

 

Beta Y: And now for the main course! ::puts her fans together again, swings them down, a singular huge wind blade flies to where the smiling figure landed and cuts him straight into two::

 

Smiling figure: ::puts the two pieces of his body back together, but he can’t heal all of his wounds at once:: ::not smiling anymore:: meanies! I still hungry! ::the smiling figure literally bounces away::

 

Meta X: Should we chase after him?

 

Beta Y: …let’s let Alpha Y take care of it.

 

Meta X: Alright then… ::puts his equipment back into his backpack::

 

Beta Y: ::puts her fans back:: You know… I suppose we could have beaten that ugly pervert if we used our equipment…

 

Meta X: Probably… but that wouldn’t prove anything…

 

Beta Y: Great… this again…

 

Meta X: I’ll prove… that I’m better than him with my own hands…

 

The smiling figure is on the roof of the Target in amerige heights healing. He’s smiling again… Meanwhile, Cuong and Charles are visiting with Jon in the hospital.

 

Cuong: …

 

Charles: …

 

Jon: … ::trying to tell them something important::

 

Cuong: just like the other victims… his vocal chords are gone…

 

Jon: … ::doing motions with his hands… he has something REALLY important to tell them::

 

Charles: Here… ::hands Jon a pencil and paper:: Tell us what you saw…

 

Jon: ::grabs the paper and pencil, accidentally breaks the pencil and rips the paper:: ::look of shock:: ::begins to hit himself in the head out of frustration::

 

Cuong: Oh, I get it… Some guy broke him like that pencil and ripped him up like that paper… and hit him in the head…

Jon: ::mouthing out the word “no”::

 

Cuong: Don’t worry! WE’LL FIND THAT GUY! ::Cuong and Charles rush out::

 

Jon: ::noiseless sigh::

 

The next morning… Cuong and Charles are wiped out…

 

Cuong: So tired…

 

Charles: We were up all night looking for that guy… ::Cuong and Charles are walking into the school::

 

Principal Dragos is directing the students.

 

Dragos: hey! You two! School’s suspended until further notice!

 

Cuong: Huh? Why?

 

Dragos: There were 4 more murders last night… Parents and teachers are afraid that the killer may come back here. Be on the look out, stay at home and lock your doors.

 

Charles: …this is bad… ::drags Cuong over to a nearby place:: Jon was attacked in his home… if they were at school, we could protect them, but they’re vulnerable now…

 

Cuong: Yeah… that guy apparently is eating people… ::remembers Jon’s arm:: It’ll be like a buffet to him…

 

Charles: Okay, think… he won’t just go to a person’s house if he can find a whole group of people to eat… Where will there be a group of people around?

 

Cuong: Anywhere… but the question is… where is a group of people out in the open…

 

Charles: Nowhere right now… they’re all scared of the killer… the only place where people should be working is…

 

Cuong: The police department…

 

Charles: Let’s go!

 

Kevin appears in front of Cuong and Charles, smiling.

 

Charles: Outta my way Kevin!

 

Cuong: Uhh… Charles…

 

Charles: What?!

 

Cuong: Why does Kevin have blood all over his shirt?

 

Charles: ::backs away slowly from the smiling Kevin:: I guess… we don’t have to go to the police station.

 

Cuong: Is this what Jon was trying to tell us?

 

In the hospital… Jon is holding a huge sign that says “yes!”

 

Charles: …You don’t want to eat me Kevin… I’m only 100 pounds… ::grabs Cuong and puts him in front of himself:: EAT TUBBY!

 

Cuong: What are you doing?!

 

Charles: He’s a little on the short side, but he will make a good meal!

 

Cuong: … ::twitch:: WHO ARE YOU CALLING A WIDE YET MICROSCOPIC CHICKEN DINNER!

 

Charles: …why are you acting like Ed from Full Metal Alchemist?

 

Cuong: I don’t know… whatever.

 

Kevin: food? ::runs at Charles and Cuong with his mouth wide open::

 

Charles: Geez! ::lights up his hands and hits Kevin straight in the chest, pushing him back::

 

Kevin: ::unphased:: ::runs back towards them smiling::

 

Charles: Well, if that doesn’t work… ::puts two fingers together and a huge rope of light comes out, he swings it really fast at Kevin while running towards him::

 

Kevin is suddenly stuck in a sorta spider web of ropes made out of light…

 

Charles: Imperial cage… ::has the light still connected to his finger:: If I pull on this, your whole body will explode. Now, turn yourself in Kevin!…

 

Kevin takes a bite out of the rope to free himself and runs at Charles.

 

Charles: He ate light?!

 

Cuong: ::points palm at Kevin:: SHADOW SYMMETRY! ::a hand made out of shadow appears, grabs Kevin and throws him against a far wall::

 

Charles: I guess we won’t be able to just capture him.

 

Cuong: Hmm… don’t try to hurt him too much… just hurt him enough so that he can’t defend himself, then we’ll take him in…

 

At the hospital, Jon is holding up a sign that says “HE’S IMMORTAL AND HE HEALS QUICKLY LIKE BREAD!… I MEAN… UMM… a vampire! AHHHH! VAMPIRE?! HE BIT ME! WILL I BECOME A VAMPIRE?! I’M TOO BEAUTIFUL TO BECOME THE LIVING DEAD…………… then again… I’d be a pretty tight and suave vampire… cooler than Blade and Alucard!”

 

Cuong: well, let’s go… ::puts his hand into the “gun” position and gets down on a knee:: SHADOW GUN! ::a bullet made of Shadow hits Kevin in the stomach… it doesn’t phase him:: man… I held back on purpose… but it doesn’t do anything.

 

Charles: Let me try something… ::begins to form a lot of light into a fist and runs toward Kevin:: SPRITE WAVE! ::punches Kevin in the stomach and a huge beam of light rams Kevin through a wall, Kevin gets back up slowly and comes back outside using the door, he smiles::

 

Cuong: ::annoyed look:: dude… Joe’s going to get sued because you used the spirit wave…

 

Charles: Uh uh uh… correction! Sprite wave! A sprite and a spirit have differences!

 

Cuong: Whatever…

 

Charles: ::draws light into his fist again and punches forward, unleashing five blasts of light towards Kevin:: SPRITE GUN!

 

Cuong: Oh yeah… definitely going to get sued…

 

Kevin bounces over the blasts and runs at Charles with his mouth open.

 

Charles: ::puts his hand into the burning finger positon and hits Kevin in the stomach with it:: SHINING FINGER!

 

Cuong: ::twitch:: How many moves do you have?…

 

Charles: How many moves do you have?!

 

Cuong: well, there’s a lot of stuff you can do with a shadow!

 

Charles: OMG! THERE’S A LOT OF STUFF YOU CAN DO WITH LIGHT!

 

Cuong: SHADOW!

 

Charles: LIGHT!

 

Cuong: SHADOW!

 

Charles: LIGHT!

 

Cuong: SHADOW!

 

Charles: LIGHT!

 

Cuong: ::saying really fast:: gayguyssaywhat?

 

Charles: What?

 

Cuong: ha!

 

Charles: ::Charles style:: DAMN!

 

Cuong: umm… Charles…

 

Charles: what?

 

Cuong: Kevins biting your hand…

 

Charles: ::looks down at Kevin smiling as he bites Charles’ hand::

 

Cuong: …

 

Charles: ::breathes in deeply, then starts to run around in panic:: GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! ::swinging Kevin around with his arm:: GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! ::stops and socks Kevin in the face to get him off::

 

Cuong: …why didn’t you do that in the first place?

 

Charles: He bit me! He bit me on the hand! What kind of guy bites other people?! I don’t want to fight him anymore! This is weird! He is…!

 

Cuong: He is biting your butt now…

 

Charles: ::turns head around slowly, sees Kevin biting his butt and smiling:: ::breathes in deeply and starts to run around like crazy:: GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!

 

Cuong: ::trying to aim for Kevin:: Stop moving!

 

Charles stops moving and farts.

 

Kevin: ::smiling:: ::smiling:: ::smiling:: ::lets go of charles and falls onto his back in paralyzed, yet smiling shock::

 

Charles: Thank you grilled stuft burrito from Taco Bell…

 

Cuong: …Did you kill him? ::pokes Kevin with a stick::

 

Kevin chomps onto the stick, Charles and Cuong scream like girls…

 

Charles and Cuong: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

 

Kevin gets back up… and runs toward Cuong and Charles… An extremely small thing kicks Kevin away.

 

Neko-chan: BAH! I’M TIRED OF WATCHING YOUR FUCKING FIGHT! YOU GUYS ARE FUCKING WEAK SAUCED BITCHES!

 

Cuong: ::pokes Charles on the shoulder:: Hey, hey… isn’t that Khoi’s cat…?

 

Neko-chan: ::smacks Cuong in the face:: I’M A BERSERKER SPIRIT! YOU FUCKING TUBBY!

 

Charles: ::rubs eyes:: umm…

 

Neko-chan: ::smacks Charles::

 

Charles: Ow! I didn’t do anything!

 

Neko-chan: I know what you were thinking! You were thinking “Cute kitty!” Well cute fucking kitty my ass! You guys are shitty weak!

 

Charles: Hey, we’re pretty strong.

 

Neko-chan: No you fucker! You’re weaker than shit! You spend your times making new moves but never refine practical and useful ones! Your style is all over the place!

 

Charles: …a cat is criticizing my fighting…

 

Neko-chan: FUCK YOU! ::swings paw backwards and hits Kevin even further away… Kevin had gotten up and was creeping up on them while Neko-chan was talking::

 

Cuong: …why is a cat insulting us…

 

Neko-chan: now I know why faggot was weak…

 

Cuong: :[pic]: faggot?… ::remembers Khoi saying stupid shit about cat being his trainer:: …Khoi was telling the truth?

 

Charles: ::still in shock that a cat criticized him::

 

Neko-chan: Alright you fuckers… from now on I’ll be taking three shitheaded apprentices! You guys are my bitches now!

 

Cuong: Hey! You can’t tell us what to do!

 

Neko-chan: ::scratches Cuong::

 

Cuong: Ow! Okay okay! I’ll listen… just don’t do that again…

 

Kevin gets back up smiling.

 

Neko-chan: ::staring at Kevin:: ::thinking:: What is he? He’s not like any of these guys… he’s not normal… ::look of shock:: He’s! He’s infused with the seal of Odin! ::looks back at Cuong and Charles:: These guys… none of these guys… can stand up to him as they are now… then I must… ::takes out a old fashioned key:: Hey you guys… when I open the door… you enter… close your eyes… unless you want to be blinded.

 

Charles: Wait what?

 

Cuong: ::smacks Charles:: Just listen to him! Do YOU want to get scratched too?! It hurts!

 

Cuong and Charles close their eyes.

 

Neko-chan: ::waves goodbye at Kevin:: Seeya in a month… ::pushes the key into the ground and Cuong, Charles, and Neko-chan fall through a portal created by it::

 

Cuong: WHAT THE?! It feels like I’m falling!

 

Neko-chan: don’t you dare fucking open your eyes! You’ll get lost in time and space!

 

They suddenly stop and fall onto some sort of island.

 

Charles: ::groan:: …oh man… my head…

 

Khoi: Welcome to the ISLAND! OoooOOOOoooh! Honk honk! ::grabs Cuong’s chest:;

 

Cuong: ::punches Khoi:: What the?! Khoi?!

 

Neko-chan: We are now in the island of the palm…

 

Cuong: Why did you take us here?! While we’re here, Kevin will eat more people!

 

Neko-chan: pfff… here… time doesn’t matter… you can stay here for a month and not a second will go by in the real world… this is where we’ll train…

 

Charles: …COOL! IT’S LIKE DRAGON BALL Z! WE CAN STAY HERE FOREVER TO TRAIN!

 

Neko-chan: ::smacks Charles:: FOOL! Do you not understand real life?! All of you said or thought the same exact thing when you got here… DRAGON BALL Z! you fucking morons! AS LONG AS YOU THINK LIKE THAT YOU WILL NEVER GROW ANY STRONGER!

 

Charles: …

 

Neko-chan: On this island… there is no technology, no surefire way to get food… and… there’s a cave on the top of that mountain in the middle of the island, where your wildest fears will come true… There are no animals, no people… There is nothing! Except for some fruit trees and the fish in the ocean. As your guys’ trainer… I shall give you your first assignment… Survive here for a week… and then… tell me… tell me… what is the truth to being strong… if you can’t… You will face the consequences…

 

Cuong: What consequences?…

 

Neko-chan: ::takes out a cigarette and blows out some smoke:: …Death… For this is the island of the palm…

 

Khoi: oooOOOOooooh! I’ve already lived here for five days… with help… ::shifts eyes:: from Jason…

 

Cuong: Wait a minute… so when did you send Khoi here?

 

Neko-chan: We were watching your fight… I sent him here approximately one second before you guys…

 

When Khoi and Neko-chan were watching the fight.

 

Neko-chan: Okay, I’ll help your friends… but you… when I give you the signal… push this key into the ground and go to palm island… I left written instructions for you on the beach… good luck… you jackass…

 

Khoi: Geez… ooOOOOooh!

 

Back in the present…

 

Neko-chan: And that’s what happened… Jason has already most likely found out the truth to being strong… but for you guys… it may take a little longer…

 

Khoi: Whee!

 

Neko-chan: I was talking about you too gayass…

 

Khoi: HuH?

 

Neko-chan: Jason doesn’t count for you… You must find your own answer…

 

Khoi: Aww… then I have two days to answer the questions?

 

Cuong: Wait… what? You said “questions”… so there are more than one?

 

Neko-chan: ::smacks himself in the head:: Oh, I almost forgot… there is one more truth you must find out for me…

 

Charles: What is it?

 

Neko-chan: You said that this island was great because you could train here infinitely… You must find out the truth of this island… good luck… don’t die… ::disappears in a puff of smoke::

 

Khoi: Geez, I’m allergic to smoke…

 

Charles: What the hell… that means after this we only have 2 weeks to train…

 

Cuong: Yeah…

 

Khoi: oooOOOoooh! Don’t worry, I’ll throw my blue eyes at that cat later!

 

Jason: Khoi… let’s go…

 

Khoi: Huh?

 

Jason: You have only two days to answer the questions… I know you have one answered… but the other… you must find out for yourself the truth behind strength…

 

Khoi: yeah… I remember that valley…

 

Khoi is leaving Cuong and Charles.

 

Cuong: Hey! Where are you going fatty?!

 

Khoi: I have to do something on my own. I suggest you guys do the same… otherwise, you won’t find out the truth behind the island…

 

Jason: Do you know where to find the truth behind strength?

 

Khoi: Yeah… the cave of the palm… the cave full of fear at the top of the mountain… Let’s go…

 

To be continued…

T.R.A.N.C.E.

7th installment: Escape

Khoi: Walking to the cave… lalalalalala…

 

Jason: Oh god…

 

Khoi: Don’t make me touch you in inappropriate places Jason! CAUSE I WILL! OooOOOOoooh!

 

Jason: Whatever…

 

Khoi: So… I have to find out the truth of being strong… and the truth behind the island… oooOOOoooh! I know what the second one is!!!

 

Jason: I know you know… fool…

 

Khoi: Well! I know that you know that I know! Hmph!…

 

Jason: …That didn’t even make sense!

 

Khoi: No! You don’t make sense!… faggot…

 

Jason: Well… isn’t that the tree calling the leaf green…

 

Khoi: ::makes struggling noises:: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!

 

Back with Cuong and Charles…

 

Charles: Survive here… without my computer?! How am I supposed to do that?!

 

Cuong: Get our OWN food! How am I supposed to do that?!

 

Charles and Cuong: We’re getting off this island!!!

 

Cuong: If we make a boat… then we can sail off…

 

Charles: Alright! Let’s make the design now! It’ll have rockets! A sea to air conversion! Five machine guns!

 

Cuong: …umm… how about it being made of wood…

 

Charles: …fine…

 

Cuong and Charles look around the island for a while… Then they finally find some small trees good for boat making…

 

Charles: umm… we have to cut these down perfectly right?…

 

Cuong: I guess…

 

Charles: Okay… ::sticks out two of his fingers… a bright light appears at the end:: Chopping wood! ::starts to cut the trees perfectly::

 

Cuong: …Wait… you can do that?…

 

Charles: Yeah… some interesting thing I found I could do when I wanted to open a salsa cup one day… I cut it open.

 

Cuong: …Okay…

 

Charles and Cuong gather the wood and go off to find some coconuts…

 

Cuong: Uhh… why are we gathering coconuts?

 

Charles: umm… food?

 

Cuong: GIMME! GIMME! GIMME!

 

Charles: It’s kinda high… ::looks up::

 

Cuong: …awww…

 

They start to shake the tree… the coconuts aren’t falling down…

 

Charles: DAMN! ::sticks out palm at the coconuts:: FALL DOWN! ::a ball of light appears and fires out from Charles’ hand, it knocks down some coconuts::

 

Cuong: ::wide eyes:: Wait… You can do that?

 

Charles: uhh… yeah… I’ve always been able to call upon my balls!

 

Cuong: …

 

Charles: Whenever something gets me excited, my balls come flying out…

 

Cuong: …

 

Charles: What? It’s true… one time… this cute girl passed by me… and my balls flew out faster than a speeding gundam!

 

Cuong: …

 

Charles: …what?

 

Later, Cuong and Charles are trying to open up the coconuts…

 

Cuong: Why won’t they open!!!

 

Charles: I’ll just feel them up with my balls! Watch out!

 

Cuong: …wait… what?

 

Charles: ::has a ball of light in his hand, he clenches his fist on it… his fist turns bright:: OPEN UP UNDER THE WEIGHT OF MY MIGHTY BALLS!

 

Cuong: …are you doing this on purpose or something?

 

Charles punches the coconut… it explodes…

 

Charles: THERE! Opened it!… whoops…

 

Cuong is covered with coconut juice…

 

Cuong: …

 

Charles: ::nervous laugh::

 

From atop a high tree… Neko-chan watches…

 

Neko-chan: …hmm… ::remembers the two finger cut:: Scissors… ::remembers the palm with the white blast:: Paper… ::remembers the fist of light:: Rock… I don’t fucking believe it… He’s using Janken… Rock, Paper, Scissors…

 

Joe Note: Long time ago… Farmers who were not allowed to fight trained themselves to fight by pretending to play a game. They were planning a rebellion or something… and they created a unique way to train themselves to fight. Janken(a.k.a. rock, paper, scissors) was the way they learned to fight. The rock was to practice punching, scissors to practice an eye stab move, and paper was for a quick block or hit to the face.

 

Neko-chan: He may have integrated his own powers into it… but that’s undoubtedly janken… What an interesting guy… I may have underestimated him…

 

Cuong is chasing Charles around with a big stick.

 

Neko-Chan: …or maybe not…

 

Charles: AHHHHHHHH!!! DON’T TOUCH ME WITH YOUR BIG STICK! OR I’LL USE MY BALLS ON YOU!

 

Cuong: STOP MAKING THOSE STUPID STATEMENTS!

 

Charles: WHAT?! WHAT AM I SAYING?!

 

The next day…

 

Charles: Well… I think we did a good job…

 

Cuong: …

 

The boat is finished… it looks exactly like a physics boat.

 

Cuong: …will this really get us off this island?

 

Charles: SURE! ::jumps in the boat:: Hop in!

 

Cuong: I’m… hesitant…

 

The boat breaks…

 

Charles: …Damn… Oh my god… we spent all night making this boat…

 

Khoi: it looks bad… ::eating a hot dog::

 

Cuong: WHAT THE?! ::grabs heart:: What are you doing here?!

 

Khoi: I got lost… and hungry… so I came back down… to… hee hee… what are you doing? Stop looking at me like that you pervert!

 

Cuong is staring at the hot dog…

 

Cuong: Where… Where’d you get that? ::drool::

 

Khoi: ::shrugs:: Some fag…

 

Cuong: Huh?

 

Khoi: You shut up!

 

Jason: Well… time for us to go the cave… and this time… don’t get distracted by the monkeys!

 

Khoi: But their butts are so red and pokey!… oooOOOooh!…

 

Cuong: That’s it! I’m getting out of here! ::jumps and begins to spin in midair… shadows surround him and he flies off into a random direction:: Shadow Flying Fang!

 

Khoi: Hee hee… he looks like a spinning missile… or some sorta strange spinning dick… oh wellz…

 

Cuong is crashing through the forest, ripping up all the trees and what not… Neko-chan watches…

 

Neko-chan: Shadow flying fang?… destructive power… He surrounds his entire body with shadow and spins rapidly into the air, propelling himself into anything… Hmm… if he can do that much… He has almost unlimited potential, his shadows probably can do a lot more than just that.

 

Charles and Cuong have later rebuilt the boat… reinforced with more wood.

 

Cuong: Do you think this is too much wood?…

 

Charles: no… where’d Khoi go?

 

Cuong He went to that cave again… to do God knows what… ::imagines Khoi humping a honeybun::

 

Charles: okay… well then… the boat is done! Let’s go!

 

Charles and Cuong get into the boat and begin to paddle away from the island.

 

Cuong: Yay!

 

Charles: Yay!

 

Cuong: Yay!

 

Charles: Yay!

 

The boat begins to sink slowly…

 

Cuong: …Charles…

 

Charles: Yeah?

 

Cuong: Is my ass supposed to be wet?

 

Charles: … ::notices the water coming into the boat:: ABANDON SHIP!

 

Cuong: …I can’t swim! So… I’m going to just… PADDLE BACK TO SHORE!

 

Cuong and Charles begin to paddle back to the beach… really quickly… Dolphins below the water comment on the situation.

 

Dolphin #1: ::in dolphin talk:: Man… if he’s in such a hurry to get to shore, why doesn’t he throw tubby off the boat?

 

Dolphin #2: I know… oooOOOoooh!

 

Dolphin #1: …stop doing that…

 

Dolphin #2: But it’s echolocation!… oooOOOoooh!… like a sonar…

 

Dolphin #1: …whatever… you just keep doing that… fag…

 

Dolphin #2: Hey! I heard that!

 

Back to Cuong and Charles… they reached shore… and are lying down on the beach. The boat has been ripped in half by the ocean current.

 

Cuong: … ::gasping for breath:: So… hungry…

 

Charles: Those coconuts… gave me diarrhea…

 

Cuong rolls away from Charles a little.

 

Cuong: …dammit… that stupid cat… what does he expect us to eat? Fish? Where are we going to find fish?!

 

Charles: …I got it! Let’s go fishing!

 

Charles and Cuong make fishing rods out of the remains of their crappy boat.

 

Charles: Now all we need is some bait…

 

Cuong: Yeah… let’s use Khoi.

 

Charles: …hmm… or we can use… pieces of coconut?

 

Cuong: whatever…

 

Cuong and Charles start to fish.

 

Cuong: …lalalalalala…

 

Charles: Creepy song… like a sailor who died at sea.

 

Cuong: Yeah…

 

The line on the fishing rod gets pulled a little.

 

Cuong: I got something!

 

Charles: ::drooling:: oh my god! Pull it up! Pull it up!

 

Cuong: ::pulls:: Whatever it is, it’s heavy!

 

They pull it up…

 

Charles: …

 

Cuong: …

 

Charles: …

 

Cuong: …

 

Charles: …::charles style:: Damn!

 

They have caught the broken off half of the physics boat that broke apart from the main part.

 

Cuong: …I’m sooo hungry… if only I had some sort of power to control shadows… then I could get some fish…

 

Charles: Yeah… if only you did…

 

Cuong: … ::thinks, then jumps up:: ::points palm at water:: SHADOW SYMMETRY! ::a large hand made of shadow goes into the water and drags something back::

 

Charles: FOOD! ::runs toward it:: I WANT IT! I WANT IT! I WANT IT!… I… want… it…

 

The hand has brought back a lion from the water…

 

Lion: ROAR!!!

 

Cuong: ::wide eyes::

 

Charles: ::wide eyes::

 

Cuong: Is that even possible?… better yet… is it edible?

 

The lion starts to chase Cuong and Charles.

 

Charles: ::running away:: I DON’T WANT IT! I DON’T WANT IT! I DON’T WANT IT!

 

Joe note: Finally, some funny stuff happening… the start of this story was boring… lol

 

Later, Cuong and Charles have escaped from the lion somehow…

 

Cuong: Phew… that was close… are you okay?

 

Charles: Yeah… I think… ::shows Cuong his back:: How’s my back?

 

It’s all scratched up and bleeding.

 

Cuong: Uhhhhh… it looks okay…

 

Charles: good…

 

Later, Cuong and Charles are chasing a rabbit.

 

Cuong: RABBIT’S HAVE TO TASTE GOOD! IF HONEY BUNS ARE GOOD THEN A BUN-NY HAS TO BE GOOD TOO!

 

Charles: IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE!

 

Joe note: No… no it doesn’t…

 

Rabbit: ::in rabbit talk:: What’s going on?! Where are my babies?!

 

The rabbit jumps into a hole.

 

Cuong: We have it now! ::puts hand into hole::

 

Charles: Feel anything?

 

Cuong: I feel fur… I got it! ::pulls it up::

 

Cuong has pulled out a lion’s head.

 

Lion: ROAR!

 

Cuong: ::shock:: What the hell?!

 

Charles: ::shock:: Oh my god!

 

The lion starts to chase Cuong and Charles.

 

Cuong: ::screaming like girl:: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

 

Charles: ::screaming AND running like girl:: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

 

Lion: ::roaring like lion:: ROAR!

 

Later, Cuong and Charles are resting next to a stream.

 

Cuong: How’s that even possible?! How could that lion be in that hole?!

 

Charles: It’s as if our life is a story being written by some guy who has no idea what lions really do…

 

Cuong: Whatever… I’m getting a drink from that small puddle over there…

 

Cuong goes over to the puddle to get a drink of water… He drinks some of it… then puts both his hands in to get some water to wash his face… He feels something weird.

 

Cuong: What’s this weird thing in the puddle?… ::pulls it out, it’s the lion::

 

Lion: ROAR!!!

 

Cuong: … meep…

 

Cuong and Charles are once again running away from the lion.

 

Cuong: WHAT’S GOING ON????

 

Charles: SHUT UP! SHUT UP! WHY WON’T YOU SHUT UP?!

 

It’s nighttime after they finally lose the lion… they are leaning against a tree resting…

 

Cuong: That lion is everywhere we go!

 

Charles: Yeah… and we still didn’t get to eat anything…

 

Cuong: ::spots a banana on the floor:: Hey, a banana! MINE!

 

Charles: No let’s split it!

 

Cuong: FINDERS KEEPERS! ::peels the banana, the lion pops out:: … YOU CAN HAVE IT!

 

Cuong and Charles are running away from the lion again…

 

Cuong: IT’S YOURS!

 

Charles: NO IT’S YOURS!

 

Cuong: IT’S YOURS!

 

Charles: IT’S YOURS! NOW SHUT UP! SHUT UP! OH MY GOD! WHY WON’T YOU SHUT UP?!

 

It’s morning now… Cuong and Charles are totally exhausted and are lying on the beach…

 

Cuong: I’m going to wash off this sweat in the ocean…

 

Charles: NO! DON’T TOUCH ANYTHING! DAMMIT!

 

Cuong: Geez… fine… freaking lion… I’m starving…

 

Charles: What day is today? How long do we have left to answer those questions?

 

Cuong: Do I look like a magical machine that will give you all the answers?… this is the third day… man… I’m so lonely…

 

Charles: I’m lonely too…

 

Cuong: …just because we’re stuck on a island… doesn’t mean that I’ll be your boyfriend…

 

Charles: I’M NOT GAY!

 

Cuong: …I know you’re not gay… ::wink::

 

Charles: Why’d you wink?!

 

Cuong: I don’t know… ::wink::

 

Charles: Stop winking!

 

Cuong: Fine… but I’m still lonely… ::thinks… jumps up:: THAT’S IT! ::stomach growls, sits back down:: The secret of the island… it’s not good because… You age here 30 days… in a second of the real world… so that means it’s 30 days gone without your friends and family and PS2!… and 30 days of life lost from you forever… That’s why it’s not good! Your life is limited!

 

Charles: Oh… I get it… ::shifts eyes:: …so basically… we’re getting old faster…

 

Cuong: Basically…

 

Charles: Okay… so that’s one question down… what about the second one?

 

Cuong: Geez… I’m not some smart guy who will give you all the answers… ::thinks:: I GOT IT! I’m a fucking genius!

 

Charles: …

 

Cuong: …yeah… anyways… think about it… We have all these powers… that normal people don’t have, but… does that really mean strength?

 

Charles: …huh?

 

Cuong: We haven’t been able to survive on this island for shit… maybe the truth behind strength is not pure fighting power or literal “strength” like Hercules… Maybe it’s skills.

 

Charles: skills?

 

Cuong: Yeah, skills to survive… skills to find food… skills to avoid lions… After all, if two people are equally strong and they get into a fight… There is basically only one surefire thing to determine the winner, their skill. Maybe training on this island is not to increase our physical strength… but rather to increase our use of our powers…

 

Charles: ::blinks:: ::blank stare:: So… we’re here to not train on 100X gravity or anything… but to refine techniques only?

 

Cuong: …uhh… yeah…

 

Charles: …Then why didn’t you just say that?

 

Cuong: …CAUSE I’M A FREAKING GENIUS!… somewhat…

 

Neko-chan appears in front of them…

 

Neko-chan: Well, since you two found the answers already, it would be a waste of my time to just wait until the seventh day to find out your answers… You guys passed the test.

 

Cuong: ::stares at Neko-chan::

 

Charles: ::stares at Neko-chan::

 

Cuong and Charles start to shake him.

 

Neko-chan: WHHHATT THE FUCCCKKK! YOU BITTCCHESS!

 

Cuong: FOOD!

 

Charles: FOOD!

 

Neko-chan: Get your hands off my fur coat! ::pulls their hands off him:: Fuckers… here’s your fucking food! ::gives them a bag of in n out::

 

Charles: Is this animal style or?

 

Neko-chan: JUST EAT! YOU IDIOT!

 

Charles: …fine…

 

Cuong: two days without eating is too long… I feel like I lost 100 pounds… Must regain it back! ::looks at the bag:: AND THIS ISN’T ENOUGH!

 

Neko-chan: …You fool… this ain’t no ordinary in n’ out bag… It’s a fucking magical one! FUCKING MAGICAL I FUCKING SAID!

 

Cuong: Huh? ::pulls out fries from the bag:: … ::pulls out double cheeseburger from the bag:: Huh? ::pulls out animal style fries from the bag:: Wha…? ::pulls out drink from the bag:: ::pulls out cheeseburger from the bag:: IT’S NEVERENDING! ::tear::

 

Charles: …are you crying?

 

Cuong: no… ::wipes away tears:: I just got something in my eye…

 

Charles: …right… give me the bag! DON’T HOG THE BAG!

 

Cuong: I’m not done with the bag yet!

 

Charles: COME ON!

 

Cuong: I have to smell the bag… feel the bag… pleasure the bag… I have to be the BAG!

 

Neko-chan: Shut the fuck up Tubby and hand over the bag…

 

Cuong: …fine…

 

Neko-chan: After you guys eat… We’re visiting the valley on this island known as the lifeline…

 

Charles: Uhh… lifeline?

 

Neko-chan: There’s a reason why this island is called Palm Island… and I’ll reveal it to you. ARE YOU LISTENING?!

 

Cuong and Charles are eating the burgers.

 

Cuong: I need some more! ::puts hand in bag to pull out another burger::

 

Cuong pulls out the lion.

 

Cuong: ::shock::

 

Charles: ::shock::

 

Neko-chan: ::wide eyed:: …That’s… a fucking lion….

 

Lion: ROAR!

 

Two seconds later… Neko-chan, Charles, and Cuong are running away from the lion… meanwhile, with Khoi… He’s finally reached the cave… and he’s still eating that hot dog…

 

Khoi: oh… sweet weiner… ::drools::

 

Jason: …right… by the way… where DID you get that hot dog?

 

Khoi: SILENCE WOMAN! A MAN NEVER REVEALS HIS SECRETS!

 

Jason: …You stuffed them down your pants before you came here right?

 

Khoi: ::drops head down:: Right… Who said that? ::looks around idiotically:: oooOOOoooh!

 

Jason: Well, go in the cave.

 

Khoi: Why don’t YOU go in the cave!

 

Jason: …

 

Khoi: ::shift eyes:: Oh… right…

 

Khoi goes into the cave. Back with Neko-chan, Charles, and Cuong…

 

Charles: ::looking at something really big and bright in a deep canyon on the island:: …wow…

 

Cuong: ::looking at the same thing:: …that’s… wow…

 

Neko-chan: This is the lifeline… that is connected to the cave of terror at the top of that mountain in the middle of the island.

 

The lifeline is a deep valley that has a multicolored aurora-type light running through it. There are also strange noises coming from the light like screaming and shit like that.

 

Neko-chan: At the deepest part of the valley, lie the bones of demons…

 

Charles: ::screams like a girl:: AHHHHHHHH!… I mean… ::looks around:: Demons… huh?

 

Neko-chan: The light you are seeing is made up of the feeling of all the people who died in battles, wars, murders… If you even touch that light… You’ll fall into a fucking great despair for no fucking reason… and get absorbed into it… The bones of the demons at the bottom of the valley are there because demons are attracted to those negative feelings and end up jumping into the valley towards them. They touch the light, get ripped of their bodies, and fall to the floor as nothing but a skeleton…

 

Charles: So… basically, we shouldn’t jump in there.

 

Neko-chan: Correct…

 

Cuong: Does the cave of terror have something to do with this?

 

Neko-chan: There is a fountain in the cave… which does not flow out water, but rather the stream of the lifeline. Somehow, the fountain uses the feelings of the dead to make the person who enters, relive their worst nightmares and memories. ::puts up three fingers:: Three terrible memories… oh yeah… forgot to fucking mention… it makes those memories take physical form… so it WILL do damage to your mind and body… it will feel as if it’s perfectly real.

 

Charles: …I don’t get it… why is Khoi going up there to find the answer to strength? All he’ll find are memories of Mr. D running out of honeybuns.

 

Neko-chan: I don’t know… I didn’t tell him what the cave of terror really is… so maybe he thinks the answer is up there… what a fucking retard.

 

Khoi is walking inside of the cave…

 

Khoi: Hello?… Hello?… Not much of a cave of terror… oooOOOooh! Who said that?

 

Khoi hears someone crying…

 

Khoi: …oooOOOoooh! It might be a hot girl! I’ll save you hot girl! ::runs to the crying noise::

 

There’s a girl crouched down, crying into her arms…

 

Khoi: Time to put on my moves… ::winks to nobody:: ::walks over to her and puts his hand on her shoulder:: So… what’s wrong?… broke up with your boyfriend? Got lost? Mr. D ran out of honeybuns? Who said that? ::looks around idiotically::

 

Mysterious girl: …why didn’t you save me?… Why’d you leave me to die…?

 

Khoi: Uhh… who said that?

 

The girl turns around and stands up. Khoi looks shocked.

 

Anne: Why didn’t you save me? Why did you let me die?!

 

To be continued…

T.R.A.N.C.E.

8th installment: Memories and Nightmares

Anne: Why didn’t you save me? Why did you let me die?!

 

Khoi: …

 

Jason: Tch… that girl?… how’s this possible?

 

Anne: You…I hate you… You let me die… without even trying to save me.

 

Khoi: That’s not true…

 

Anne: What do you mean it’s not true! IT IS THE TRUTH!… ::laughs and looks down:: You know… before I died… I thought I had a crush on you… but that was just your power…

 

Khoi: …

 

Jason: How does she know about that?…

 

Anne: You know… I really thought I liked you… but really… I hated you… First you manipulated my feelings, then you let me die… WHAT KIND OF PERSON ARE YOU?!

 

Jason: Khoi… this can’t be real… remember her letter?

 

Khoi: But that was written before she died… maybe this is how she felt after she died.

 

Jason: Impossible… this is unbelievably unbelievable… The dead don’t come back to life.

 

Khoi: Well, she feels real… maybe this cave turns people into zombies…

 

Jason: Don’t be an idiot! This isn’t real!

 

Khoi: but she’s right there!! ::makes struggling noises then nuttaps himself:: Take that Jason!

 

Jason: I didn’t feel that… anyways, if this girl really is real.. what are you going to do? Feel bad about yourself? Just because she’s here now doesn’t mean anything. Feel bad, just feel bad and get over it.

 

Khoi: You’re right… ::looks to Anne:: There’s nothing I can do for you now… What do you want from me?

 

Anne: Kill yourself… let yourself die just like how you let me die!

 

Khoi: ::unphased:: But if I die… there will be more people like you… without a person like me who can save them. ::looks away from Anne:: The best way to repent from not being able to save you… is to not let the same thing happen to another person. I’m sorry, I can’t die yet. There are people to save and honeybuns to eat… Hopefully you’ll find peace in death… I cannot fulfill your request.

 

Anne: ::tear:: ::fades away::

 

Khoi: Huh?! ::scared now:: AHHHHHHHHHHH!! SHE WAS A GHOST! THERE MUST BE TONS OF GHOSTS IN HERE! THEY’LL POSSESS ME AND FORCE ME TO DO THINGS WITH MY BUTT! MY BUTT!!!

 

Jason: …Shut up…

 

The fountain flashes again.

 

Jason: Did you see that?

 

Khoi: See what?… oooOOOooh! Who said that?

 

Jason: Geez, for a guy who was depressed a minute ago, you seem very happy now…

 

The fountain flashes the entire cave as Khoi goes “oooOOOoooh!”… The light disspears and Khoi finds himself in a graveyard.

 

Khoi: Huh? Umm… Jason… where is this?

 

There is no answer…

 

Khoi: Uhh… Jason????

 

Khoi walks around the tombstones…

 

Khoi: Hello? Jason?…

 

Old man: ::appears behind Khoi:: Hey young man… Nice ass… oooOOOOoooh! Who said that?

 

Khoi: Huh? Hey wrinkly guy! OooOOOoooh! Who said that!

 

Old man: ::makes struggling noises and smacks Khoi in the nuts with his cane:: Shut the hell up you sonuvabitch! I may be old! But… Yeah I’m old…

 

Khoi: ::makes struggling noises:: Nobody nuttaps me other than myself! ::kicks the old man in the nuts:: Take that you sonuvabitch!

 

Old man: Heh… after losing my balls in a battle, that doesn’t hurt at all!

 

Khoi: Well, ladeedah…

 

Khoi and Old man: oooOOOooh!

 

Khoi and Old man: Stop copying me you pervert!

 

Khoi and Old man: Um… Who said that?…

 

Khoi and Old man: Dammit stop copying me!!!

 

Khoi: So… why are you here?… and why am I here? OooOOOoooh!

 

Old man: I don’t know… geez… I’m not your manwhore…

 

Khoi: okay… why are you here?

 

Old man: ::looks at the tombstones:: I’m here to visit some people… ::crouches down to a tombstone:: This was the love of my life… ::the name’s faded on the tombstone::… sigh… and this was the other love of my life. ::walks over to another tombstone::

 

Khoi walks over to see the name on the other tombstone…

 

Khoi: What the????

 

The tombstone reads “Cuong “Tubby” “LoOser-kun” Nguyen.” “some peole will miss you… ehhh… not really.”

 

Khoi: Hey! I have a friend with the exact same name! OooOOOoooh!

 

Old man: Yeah… this guy was so tubby… but he had a sweet ass… oooOOOoooh!

 

Khoi: uhh… oh wellz? ::looks at the entire graveyard in general, it’s huge::

 

Old man: This graveyard… I made it myself…

 

Khoi: umm… geez… You get a woman to do that job… ::nods stupidly:: oooOOOoooh! Who said that?

 

Old man: Sigh… I wish that these people didn’t die the way they did…

 

Khoi: …So… ::shifts eyes:: how’d they die?

 

Old man: A virus…

 

Khoi: …umm… oooOOOoooh?

 

Old man: …Actually, I killed them all… I slaughtered them… everybody I knew… I liked… hung out with… I killed them all… just like stepping on a honeybun…

 

Khoi: Umm… are you senile? Cause Senile people are strangely attracted to my ass… oooOOOoooh!

 

Old man: ::turns around:: ::red smoke rises off of him:: Oh no… it’s happening again…

 

Khoi: Hee hee… he’s smoking… hot that is… oooOOOoooh!

 

Old man: ::turns around, his eyes are now bright red, and his hair is red too:: You idiot… run away…

 

Khoi: Umm… how’d you change your hair color? I want to do that too!!

 

Old man: You idiot!! ::spins hands rapidly… then super fast… then invisibly fast with red smoke rising from it:: Lethal 8!!!

 

Khoi: Umm… why does this sound familiar?

 

Old man: ::having a hard time speaking:: I went berserk… and I killed all of these people… all of them…

 

Khoi: ::suddenly remembering flashes of when he went berserk:: ::wide eyed::

 

Old man: Run away… you idiot…

 

Khoi: ::remembers Joe calling him an idiot before dying::

 

Joe: ::bleeding from mouth with large hole in chest:: Heh… what do you think you’re doing?… idiot…

 

Khoi: No way…………

 

Old man: I’m losing control… ::roars and runs toward Khoi with the lethal 8::

 

Khoi: I’m scared… so I’ll get into the fetal position now… ::gets into the fetal position and starts sucking his thumb:: oooOOOooh!

 

The old man trips over Khoi in the fetal position, loses control of the crazy 8… falls down… and breaks his neck…

 

Old man: Dammit… I’m too old… but not too old to have sex! OooOOOooh! Thank you Viagra! ::dies::

 

Khoi: ::looks at Old man:: I did it! I did it! ::remembers the whole Joe thing:: I… did… it…

 

The whole graveyard disappears and Khoi is returned to the cave and the fountain.

 

Khoi: …I… killed Joe… and who was that old man?! ::makes struggling noises::

 

Khoi looks sad again…

 

Khoi: I killed Joe…

 

Jason: I guess you can say… I killed Joe…

 

Khoi: ::looks around scared:: WHO SAID THAT?! OooOOOooh!

 

Jason: me! You idiot!

 

Khoi: Oh… where were you young lady?! I was worried sick! Gosh… oooOOOooh!

 

Jason: I lost contact for a while… I don’t know how… this place is really odd…

 

Khoi: Anyways… ::sits down:: I can’t believe I killed Joe…

 

The fountain flashes again.

 

Jason: I’m telling you… it wasn’t any of us… it was that berserker spirit!

 

Khoi and Jason: ::standing up:: THIS IS ALL THAT CAT’S FAULT!

 

Khoi: I’m so gonna nuttap him when we get back! OooOOOooh!

 

Suddenly… a mysterious song begins to echo throughout the cave.

 

Nani mo ka mo umaku yukanai modokashisa ni

Aseru kimochi wo osaete

Hagayusa to iradatashisa ni kokoro midare

Kakaekonda hiza kozou

 

Khoi: Uhh… what the fuck?… oooOOOooh! Who’s singing that?

 

Jason: I don’t know…

 

Shivering and in tears, I repress all my regret

I cried all night, but now it seems dawn is breaking...

 

Khoi: okay… this is even scarier than when I looked in the mirror the first time as a baby…

 

Jason: uhh… right…

 

Back with Neko-chan, Cuong, and Charles…

 

Cuong: so… umm… you’re telling me that… the cave will take your worst nightmares and memories… and make them physical?

 

Neko-chan: Fuck, did I fucking stutter? Nah, I didn’t…

 

Charles: I still think all that Khoi will see is a honeybun squished or something…

 

Neko-chan: Probably… oh well… enough about this… Let’s go do some training… and stuff…

 

Neko-chan, Charles, and Cuong go rest under a tree…

 

Neko-chan: Now bow to your sensei…

 

Cuong and Charles bow to each other…

 

Neko-chan: No… ::smacks Cuong and Charles:: I’m your sensei! Now bow!

 

Cuong: …uhh…

 

Charles: hmm….

 

Neko-chan: Fucking fine then… don’t bow… Now tell me… I want you two to pick out a very specific style of your powers to work on… because you two are unique in the sense that your powers can do a lot… That japkid kid and gay guy in the cave over there… their powers are pretty self explanatory… But because yours can do so much, you guys get confused and end up spreading your true power to several different ways of using your powers… which is not a good thing.

 

Charles: OKAY! ::stands up:: Here’s my attack!

 

Five minutes later…

 

Charles: Then I fake a kick two times to gain speed! Then I finally launch the ball of light at my opponent!

 

Neko-chan: Umm… you do realize… that your opponent will be attacking you as you do this? I doubt he’ll give you that much time… The crazy 8 is already considered a time consuming move even though it only takes about 10 seconds now to do it… but… ummm… I doubt your opponent will give you enough time to do it…

 

Charles: ummm… it’s a finishing move!

 

Neko-chan: Umm… why would you use that to attack an already weak opponent? When you can just use the simplest technique to defeat them?…

 

Cuong: …Maybe it could work.

 

Neko-chan: Well… in a one on one fight… unless your opponent also uses time consuming moves… it’s pretty much useless…and even in a situation where your opponent uses time consuming moves… why would you choose to do that rather than go over to them and kick their ass?

 

Cuong: But… it’s a cool attack…

 

Neko-chan: Okay… let me put this in normal terms… Why would you use that attack to defeat an opponent when a regular attack will have the same effect? Think about it… would you use a bazooka to kill a single serial killer when you can just use a pistol?

 

Charles: uhh…

 

Neko-chan: You see… I’ve been inside that gay guy’s mind for a while… and I’ve seen him and his friend with the blue fire attacks do many battles… At first, the crazy 8 was abnormally slow… also, at first… the ryuusei was abnormally slow… but those attacks with practice became okay fast(referring to the crazy 8) and freaking fast(referring to the ryuusei). However, the crazy 8 is more powerful than the ryuusei, so you can probably say they’re about the same usefulness in general. In different situations, they’ll have different effects.

 

Cuong: …uhh…

 

Neko-chan: sigh… in shows like Yu yu hakusho and Dragon ball Z, I laugh… The enemies are so gay and stupid… It’s fun to watch… but they leave the opponent so much time to form a powerful attack. That will never happen in real life. If you do the attack you just described… a normal serial killer can just shoot you while you’re forming it.

 

Charles: So… you’re saying it’s useless?

 

Neko-chan: No! I’m saying it’s useless in one on one fights… However, it may be a good attack to have in your arsenal when say you’re fighting together with someone… That way while they stall, you are able to form the attack.

 

Charles: okay…

 

Neko-chan: Okay… ::points to Cuong:: Now you! What do you want your attack to be like?!

 

Cuong: Uhh… me… okay… I just want to work on my shadow drill thingy that looks like the shin ryuuken kachokin from G gundam…

 

Neko-chan: …okay… that can work… plus that can be a style of fighting… so that’s good… and I’ve already picked out a style of fighting for that guy over there ::points at Charles:: But that will come later… keep the techniques and styles you just mentioned in the back of your mind the entire time… Now then… ::points to Cuong:: I want you to climb that mountain ::points to the mountain in the center of the island:: Everyday, non-stop…

 

Charles: ::laughs at Cuong:: hahahahahaha!

 

Cuong: Uhh… can I use ropes and stuff?

 

Neko-chan: No… you have to use your bare hands… and also… You must climb like this… ::turns around:: back… ::turns around again:: front… So each time you climb a level, you have to turn around…

 

Charles: That sounds hard… ::scared look:: Do I have to do it too?

 

Neko-chan: No…

 

Charles: ::breathes sigh of relief::

 

Neko-chan: You have to cut down fifty trees a day with your bare hands and then 100 trees a day with your legs.

 

Charles: ::jaw drop::

 

Cuong: ::laughing at Charles:: hahahahhahahahaha!

 

Neko-chan: Oh… forgot to mention… ::points at Cuong:: You have to climb up and down the mountain at least fifty times everyday or you get no food…

 

Charles: ::lauging at Cuong:: hahahahahahahahaha!

 

Neko-chan: ::points to Charles:: And if you fail in meeting your quotas, then you get no food either!

 

Charles: ::jaw drop::

 

Neko-chan: WELL?! ::looks at Cuong:: GET CLIMBING OR NO DINNER FOR YOU!

 

Cuong: FOOD!!! ::runs to the mountain::

 

Neko-chan: And you… ::points to Charles:: Come with me…

 

Neko-chan takes Charles to a forest with many thin bamboo trees.

 

Neko-chan: Okay, cut fifty of these right now with your legs… I’ll be supervising you…

 

Charles: Aww… ::gathers light energy in his legs::

 

Neko-chan: Oh… fucking forgot… No light energy for the leg part, only for the bare hand part.

 

Charles: WHAT?????

 

Neko-chan: Also… I’ll be watching… if you don’t spin in the air two times before you hit the tree, that tree doesn’t count.

 

Charles: ::jaw drop:: This isn’t fair… How hard can Cuong’s mission be?

 

Cuong is at the base of the mountain…

 

Cuong: Umm… how do I climb this?

 

The side of the mountain… is totally smooth, with no cracks to grab onto or anything.

 

Cuong: okay… FOR FOOD AND TUBBY! ::runs a little way up the mountain… then slides back down::

 

Cuong: …crap…

 

Back with Charles… he’s tired and sweating and his legs are all red.

 

Charles: how many have I gotten?

 

Neko-chan: Hmm… ::looks at the single bamboo tree that Charles has knocked down… it bounces back up:: zero…

 

Charles: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! ::screaming while on the ground:: Why do these trees keep bouncing back up?! I kicked that tree after spinning two times in the air about fifty times already! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

 

Neko-chan: Well… I don’t think you’ll kick down any today… so I’ll give you a cookie if you are able to cut one hundred of these bamboo trees down today with your bare hands.

 

Charles: …one cookie?… ohhhhhhhhh… ::stands up, sticks out both of his hands and lights up the middle finger and index finger on each one::

 

Charles uses both hands to cut down the trees easily, two at a time.

 

Neko-chan: ::thinking:: They don’t seem to realize yet that the training they’re doing has two purposes… The spinning in the air two times… will teach this guy to unleash that attack of his, faster… and these bamboo trees will teach him accuracy… Cause there’s a certain point on the tree he must kick to be able to knock them down…

 

Neko-chan: Okay! I’m going to visit Tubby… You stay here and keep… oh… done?

 

Charles: yes…

 

Neko-chan: Then you might as well try to knock down the trees again with your legs… ciao! ::runs off::

 

Charles: ::on the floor sweating:: …Fucking cat…

 

Back with Cuong…

 

Cuong: I can’t do it… not once…

 

Neko-chan: So… you’re sweating… how many times have you climbed it?

 

Cuong: Uhhhhh… sixty times! ::stands up in triumph:: hahahahaha!

 

Neko-chan: ::smacks Cuong:: I know you didn’t even do it once….

 

Cuong: How?! DAMMIT! FUCKING CAT!

 

Neko-chan: ::thinking:: If he climbed it… there would be damage all over the side of this mountain… but it’s still smooth… he doesn’t seem to understand that I want him to climb this mountain by using his technique to drag himself up… Hence me saying flip every time you climb up… Gosh… I hope these guys are going to make it in time… ::Looks up at the top of the mountain:: And I wonder how fatty is doing…

 

Back in the cave with Khoi…

 

Khoi: That song’s been playing for hours… now… make it stop Jason! It’s creeping me out! OooOOOoooh… but somehow is turning me on…

 

I surrendered myself to a dismal emptiness

in the most critical of times

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't quite reach

Aiming for the shore

I had to swim for my life

 

Jason: Shit… what’s going on?… Maybe we should just leave this cave…

 

Khoi: Good… I’m hungry…

 

If only I could get just one more chance...

 

Khoi gets up to leave… but a mysterious voice echoes throughout the cave.

 

Voice: Where do you think you’re going?

 

Khoi: Umm… who said that? ::kinda scared:: Are you going to rape me? Well then… come and get it… oooOOOOoooh!

 

Voice: ugh! ::shuddering noise:: NO!

 

Khoi: Well, ladeedah!

 

Voice: Still fucking annoying…

 

A dragon of blue flame gets fired out of nowhere at Khoi.

 

Khoi: Uh oh… ::transforms into Jason and dodges barely::

 

Jason: :[pic]: That was…

 

A dark figure walks out of his hiding place blocking the exit of the cave.

 

Mysterious figure: The ryuusei…

 

Jason: Tch… ::serious look:: you… guess it’s a dead people party in this cave.

 

Joe: ::smiles:: Yeah… nice to see you again too… ::forms a ryuusei in his hand:: friend…

 

So, undoubtedly you're right

Even though right now I may try to turn back

And I keep on being stubborn about it, though I know it's monotonous

I'll start walking again, this time even farther, and this time I won't give up

 

To be continued…

T.R.A.N.C.E.

 

Special Installment Part 1: Flames of the Past

 

Shigeru Watabashi is running towards the town of Pan… at very high speeds, using his flame powers.

 

Shigeru: …Audria… what is this mission for?… ::remembers what happened the day before::

 

…Shigeru Watabashi walks through the middle of a town…He is wearing ninja clothes. The townspeople stare as he walks by…

 

Townsperson #1: That’s… Watabashi… Shigeru…!

 

Townsperson #2: it’s… the assassin of flame!

 

Shigeru points at a random old man.

 

Shigeru: You, old man… tell me… where is the village elder of this town?

 

Old man: urr… me? ::points at himself and looks around:: I’m the village elder…

 

Shigeru: …must be my lucky day… I am here to speak to a mage… Her name is the Messenger of Wind…

 

Townspeople: ::murmuring:: He’s here to see the priestess, Audria…

 

Village elder: Umm… she resides in the temple at the northern most point of town.

 

Shigeru: Thanks… ::runs off in that direction::

 

Village elder: Urr… no problem…

 

Shigeru reaches the temple.

 

Shigeru: ::looking around:: where is she?… geez… always so late… and she’s the one who called me here… ::walks into a room of the temple::

 

She is praying in the middle of a room that has light shining in the middle of it. Shigeru leans against a wall and watches.

 

Audria: …So… You’ve come…

 

Shigeru: Audria… haven’t seen you in a while…

 

Audria: ::getting up:: As I of you…

 

Shigeru: Hmm… ::closes eyes:: Nice to see you again…

 

Audria is pretty and is wearing a white dress.

 

Audria: ::walks over to Shigeru and smiles:: Won’t you take off that mask?

 

Shigeru: ::eyes still closed:: I’m an assassin… I can’t even let you see my face.

 

Audria: …assassin huh?… I heard news that you had become one… a notorious one…

 

Shigeru: Well… the news was right…

 

Audria: Strange… ::walks out the door:: Follow me…

 

Shigeru follows Audria to a different room.

 

Audria: I suppose you’ve heard of the Guardian of Love…

 

Shigeru: I heard he’s a foolish and gay man who attracts women by merely looking at them… What a ill mystic art…

 

Audria: ::smiles and laughs:: Do you think he could attract me?

 

Shigeru: Bah!… nonsense… is this what you called me out here for?

 

Audria: ::smile fades:: You’ve changed…

 

Shigeru: ::looks away:: I don’t believe I have…

 

Audria: Why do you wear a mask now?… You used to have a beautiful smile.

 

Shigeru: You should know why I don’t smile anymore…

 

Awkward silence…

 

Audria: When… when I was chosen to be the messenger of wind… I was bound to my duties… ::looks at Shigeru with a somewhat sad face:: As you are to yours… I cannot afford to love anybody.

 

Shigeru: …I know… so why have you called me here?

 

Audria: ::takes out a necklace with a ring on it and hands it to Shigeru:: You need to take this back… I can’t have it anymore… I’m engaged to be married next week…

 

Shigeru: I’ve heard… the beautiful priestess, messenger of wind… to be married to the also noble nobleman… the Alchemist of Faith… word even comes all the way to the island which you left…

 

Audria: …

 

Shigeru: heh… ::grabs onto the ring as hard as he can:: I guess… it’s a good match… two noble families… ::looks at Audria:: No place for a third rate like me right?

 

Audria: …Enough of that… That’s not the only thing I called you out for… I’m here to not talk to Shigeru… but to talk to the Assassin of Flame… and to hire him.

 

Shigeru: …

 

Audria: The winds… have brought me news of the gates… ::looks directly at Shigeru:: They’re opening again.

 

Shigeru: ::eyes flash, but face expression doesn’t change much::

 

Audria: They are appearing again… in the west… in the town of Pan… due to the man known as the Lord of the Dance and… the Guardian of Love.

 

Shigeru: …so what do you want from me?

 

Audria: ::hands Shigeru some money:: I want you to take him out… before the gates open.

 

Shigeru: …::drops the money on the ground:: Don’t worry… if the gates open again… I will stop them anyways… Because… if they open… ::smiles with his eyes:: You can’t have your wedding day… right?

 

Shigeru is about to walk out… when Audria grabs his arm.

 

Audria: Wait… ::takes out a piece of cloth:: Here… this cloth is infused with some of my power… It’s… good luck.

 

Shigeru: …I don’t think I need your luck… but okay… I’m grateful. ::takes the cloth and puts it in his shirt:: Now if you excuse me… ::about to walk out the door when Audria grabs him again::

 

Audria: Wait…

 

Shigeru: ::turning around:: What now?…

 

Audria kisses Shigeru.

 

Shigeru: …The mask got in the way…

 

Audria: That’s why you shouldn’t wear one…

 

Shigeru: What does that kiss mean?…

 

Audria: It means… I don’t care about arranged marriages… it means… when you come back… I’ll go with you… I’ll run away with you… because… I love you…

 

Shigeru: … ::somewhat sad look:: Then… I’ll definitely come back…

 

Audria: ::hugging Shigeru:: I will wait… even if you take eternity to return… I will wait for you…

 

Back in the present… Shigeru has reached the outskirts of the town of pan…

 

Shigeru: Audria… I’ll definitely come back… ::jumping onto the roof of a nearby building with his flame powers::

 

At the center town of Pan… a guy comes out of a small store chasing a girl.

 

Jason: hahaha… you know you love me…

 

Woman: Sir! You flatter me… but I must go…

 

Jason: Come now! Stay! We will make… beautiful music together… ::takes out rose as music plays in the background::

 

Woman: OHHHH! SO BEAUTIFUL!!! ::tear::

 

Suddenly, a shuriken lands in the ground right next to Jason.

 

Jason: What the?! ::draws a sword:: Who’s there?!

 

Woman: ::too dumbfounded with hearts in her eyes to notice the shuriken:: oh… Sir Jason…

 

A guy dressed in black ninja attire is on the roof, he jumps down.

 

Shigeru: ::he has two short ninja swords strapped to the back of his belt and has a long black scarf trailing from his neck to the ground:: You’re a master of the secret arts… are you not? Jason…

 

Jason: Who are you?!

  

Shigeru: I’m here to kill you… I won’t let Ragnarok be released!

 

Jason: Ragnarok? Who told you of such things…?

 

Ninja guy: ::draws his two swords:: When all the guardians of the crescent moon gather… The gates will open… I cannot allow that to happen! This is for GOD!

 

The ninja guy rushes… They clash and jump away from each other..

 

Jason: The rumored assassin of flame… Came all the way from that island just to attack me?

 

Ninja guy: Not just to attack you… to kill you… ::collapses:: Damn it…

 

Jason: Well… ::sheathes his sword and puts his hands in his pockets:: That’s what you get… I’m guessing you used your powers to run here… No wonder you’re out of energy… and no wonder you weren’t using your flame to attack… ::makes a crazy 8:: I’ll kill you now… it’ll take care of problems later.

 

Ninja guy: Dammit… why was I being so damn sloppy…

 

Voice: STOP!

 

A girl appears in front of Jason.

 

Leiza: Jason… what do you think you’re doing?! Picking on a guy out of nowhere?!

 

Jason looks dumbfounded.

 

Jason: hello?! Masked guy on floor with assassin weapons! Me here! Just flirting… with… um… uh oh…

 

Leiza: So… ::cracking knuckles:: Flirting with random girls again????

 

Leiza has long brown hair and is VERY pretty.

 

Jason: Umm… no?

 

Leiza: ::puts Jason into a headlock:: DAMN YOU! WHAT THE FUCK?! AM I NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU?! HUH?! HUH?!

 

Jason: No! I love you! I love you!

 

Leiza: SAY IT LOUDER BITCH!

 

Jason: I LOVE YOU! ::tears in eyes:: Please let me go…

 

Shigeru: ::on ground, looking at the scene:: What… the fuck… ::goes unconscious::

 

Later… Shigeru slowly wakes up… drowsily…

 

Shigeru: Ugh… where am I? ::he’s lying in a bed with bandages around his body, his mask is still on:: What the?

 

Jason: tch… Leiza made me undress you and bandage you up… Gosh… and you’re the one who attacked ME!

 

Shigeru seems confused.

 

Shigeru: Ugh… ::grabs head:: why’d you save me?…

 

Jason: Have you not been listening? Leiza saved your ass…

 

Shigeru: ::confused and disoriented:: Leiza?…

 

Jason: Uhh… ::goes close to Shigeru:: She’s my… you know… girlfriend… don’t tell any of my other ten… okay? Or I’ll kill you…

 

Leiza is behind Jason and grabs him from the back…

 

Leiza: What’s that you said Jason?… Hmm? ::smiles evilly:: Other… ten?

 

Jason: no no no… ::nervous laugh:: I mean… don’t tell my mother… uhh… Ken?…

 

Leiza: Your mother’s name is Ken?

 

Jason: Uhh… duh… damn woman…

 

Leiza dropkicks Jason in the face and out the window.

 

Leiza: AND DON’T COME BACK UNTIL YOU BUY SOMETHING FOR ME TO MAKE UP FOR THE GAY GUY THAT YOU ARE!

 

Jason: I’M NOT GAY!

 

Leiza: WELL YOU’RE STUPID!

 

Jason: Geez… ::walks off::

 

Shigeru: ::even MORE confused:: Why’d you save me?…

 

Leiza: Hmm? I don’t need a reason… The town of Pan is the town of love and peace. We can’t have someone kill another here…

 

Shigeru: heh… even if I attacked them first?…

 

Leiza: Even if you did… You see… Jason was just upset because you threw that shuriken at him when he was close to another person… You might’ve hit that slut he was with…

 

Shigeru: …I see… Why’d you put bandages on me?… I wasn’t even hurt… I was just tired…

 

Leiza: oh… when we dragged you here… we kept on bumping you into things… uhh… sorry…

 

Shigeru: …where is this?

 

Leiza: My home…

 

Shigeru: I see… ::remembers Audria and the gates:: ::eyes flash and he lights his hand on fire and puts it right next to Leiza’s face:: I’m sorry… but… I must kill that man…

 

Shigeru gets up slowly and puts his gear back on.

 

Shigeru: You’d do best to get out of this village… something bad’s going to happen…

 

Leiza: Umm… what are you talking about?…

 

Shigeru: Just trust me…

 

Leiza: Sorry, can’t let you leave though… ::shadows attack Shigeru from nowhere::

 

Shigeru: What the?! ::rips through them all with his blue flame:: Heh… you’re the swordsman of Darkness…

 

Leiza: Yes… and you’re… the assassin of flame…

 

The whole front of the house gets blown away, as Shigeru comes flying out… sliding a little on the ground before he stops himself with his hands. Leiza runs out after him with shadows circling her arms…

 

Leiza: ::points Palm at Shigeru:: SHADOW DESTRUCTION!

 

Shadows aimed for Shigeru rip the ground towards him.

 

Shigeru: …is that all?… ::spins rapidly with blue flame circling him to repel the shadow:: I’m guessing it’s my turn then? ::runs toward Leiza::

 

Leiza: A head on attack?… ::taking up a stance::

 

Shigeru suddenly appears behind her. She looks shocked.

 

Shigeru: there’s a reason why I’m called the assassin of flame… ::takes both of his short swords and puts them up to Leiza’s neck:: Now then… tell me your true intentions… You and Jason cannot have a relationship at all… Your village is on the other side of the continent…

 

Leiza: What…?

 

Shigeru: Also… You’re a mercenary. Someone like me… I know all too well… that a noble like Jason cannot take a woman such as yourself.

 

Leiza: ::chuckles:: Very perceptive… I was hired by that noble to collect all the people like you.

 

Shigeru: ::brings the swords up closer:: Why?…

 

Leiza: …wouldn’t you like to know?

 

Jason comes and kicks Shigeru in the face.

 

Jason: You should have just stayed in bed. Now I’m really going to have to hurt you.

 

Shigeru: Heh… trying to collect the gifted and the trances… You MUST be trying to open the gate… ::gets back up from the kick::

 

Jason: Will you hear my reasoning for wanting to open the gate?

 

Shigeru: No… because with the opening of the gates come great consequences… and I cannot allow that to happen.

 

Leiza: This is pointless… You don’t pay me enough to fight the assassin of flame… You didn’t even tell me that this guy was going to be involved.

 

Jason: Well, this was obviously inevitable… all I needed was one of each of the gifted…

 

Shigeru: Stop talking… dead men shouldn’t talk… ::jumps onto a roof:: You better not sleep, eat, drink anything… because I will certainly come back. ::disappears::

 

Leiza: You should have killed him when you had the chance.

 

Jason: Oh well… what are you going to do?… so… do you want to go get something to eat? ::takes out rose as romantic music plays in the background and his eyes twinkle::

 

Leiza: …aren’t you supposed to be a noble?

 

Jason: Not noble enough… ::grabs Leiza:: to refuse a beautiful woman’s love…

 

Leiza: okay… get your hands off my ass before I rip them off…

 

Jason: ::backs off:: touché…

 

Leiza: And should you be hitting on me while your reason for opening the gates is THAT…

 

Jason ::remembers a figure of someone:: well… I get lonely…

 

Shigeru is on a rooftop lying down.

 

Shigeru: Tch… this will be harder than I thought… if it was only Jason I might have had a chance… but the swordsman of darkness… this is troublesome… who knows how many others he has on his side.

 

Shigeru rolls to his side.

 

Shigeru: Oh well, I’m a professional… and professionals can’t back down… I guess I might have to use THAT… ::looks at the ring Audria gave him, it has wings etched on there::

 

Somewhere else… Jason is in a dark room with Leiza and three other people.

 

Jason: It’s good for you guys to come… that makes five.

 

Person #1: What does a noble want to open the gates for?… A noble above all others must know the consequences.

 

Jason: That’s none of your concern… Just do what I pay you for…

 

Person #2: We were able to bring the scroll of Ragnarok as you requested… however, you better pay us a lot if you want us to enter IT…

 

Jason: I will, don’t worry..

 

Person #3: Also, there’s the matter of the gifted… We need one of each… and… there’s only ONE assassin of flame…

 

Leiza: They have a point… what makes you so sure that you can get the Flame Assassin to join us?

 

Jason: Because… he too must understand the horrors of losing a loved one. I just need to speak to him to make him understand… and I’m positive he’s still in this city. I need you three to capture him and bring him back to me.

 

Person #2: Easier said than done…

 

Jason: Well, I’m sure it will not be a problem for you guys. K’ Jidos, Ky, and ::thinks:: what’s your name again?

 

Ky: My name is Ky…

 

Jason: NO! Not you! Him!

 

K’ Jidos: WHAT?! WHAT?! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!

 

Jason: shut up! ::smacks K’ Jidos in the nuts:: I’m talking here!… ::thinks:: Gosh… why am I acting like that?… so unrefined…

 

Seiji: My name is Seiji… ::has cats on his shoulders:: And these are my pussies…

 

Jason: …wait… what was that last part?…

 

Seiji: My pussies… wanna pet them?

 

Ky: DAMN!

 

K’ Jidos: Bloody hell!

 

Jason: ::grabs head:: Sigh… why’d I ever hire these guys?…

 

Leiza: Jason… if you wouldn’t mind… I’d like one of my students to go along with them… He knows most of my abilities… but has some of his own too…

 

Jason: Okay… where is he?…

 

The door is slammed open… a dark figure appears… Lightning clashes in the background… Ky and K’ Jidos scream like girls as Seiji pets his pussy.

 

Ky and K’ Jidos: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

 

Seiji: So soft…

 

The figure walks in… and everyone notices that he’s shorter than all of them.

 

Leiza: …His name… is LoOser! LoOser-Kun!

 

LoOser-kun: Yo…

 

Jason: …not what I expected… but okay…

 

Joe Note: IT’S GETTING FUNNY! YAY!!!

 

Leiza: I’m going to go gather up the other trances and the other gifted… so LoOser here will help you with your search for the assassin of flame…

 

LoOser-kun: I will not fail… ::bows… then sniffs something:: …are you guys eating doughnuts?…

 

Ky: yeah…

LoOser-kun: Well, I’m on a diet… but I guess one won’t hurt… or two… or three… OR FIVE!

 

Leiza smacks LoOser…

 

Leiza: only one for you tubby!

 

LoOser: Umm… one box?… one dozen? Come on… work with me here…

 

Leiza: One doughnut!

 

LoOser: Fine…

 

Leiza: ::points to everyone:: Do not let him have more than one doughnut! ::leaves::

 

LoOser shifts his eyes… and grabs a bunch of doughnuts…

 

K’ Jidos: Umm… she said only one…

 

LoOser-kun: Hey! She said one doughnut! If I mash all these into one doughnut! Then I’m fine!… ::stacks them all together:: ::drools:: Sweet ambrosia…

 

Ky: You know… I have a fascinating idea… What if we could make some sorta box thingy… that could connect to other box thingys… to create some sort of net… where you can get stuff from other people… like messages and stuff…

 

K’Jidos: You mean… like some sort of internet?

 

Ky: NO! Like some sorta box thing! It’ll be called the Charles!

 

LoOser-kun: The charles?… what kinda gay name is that?

 

Ky: SHUT UP! SHUT UP! OH MY GOD! WHY WON’T YOU SHUT UP!

 

Jason: ::coughs:: ahem!… don’t you guys have a mission to do?

 

K’ Jidos: WHAT?! WHAT?! WHAT?! Yes…

 

Jason: ::thinking:: can these guys really capture the assassin of flame?…

 

LoOser-kun: Hold up guys… don’t leave yet… I’m still eating…

 

Jason: Umm… so… what arts are you guys familiar with?

 

K’ Jidos: I’m from the land of the gay guy!… wait… no… I’m from the land of those guys… who can turn paper into like sharp thingys and throw them… the homos?… wait… no…

 

Jason: Umm… alchemists?

 

K’ Jidos: Yes! That’s it! I’m so devilishly good looking!

 

Jason: Uhh… what does that have to do with anything?… and it’s not true…

 

K’ Jidos: …huh?

 

Jason: Never mind… what about you?

 

Ky: Me?… umm… I’m from the IMPERIAL army of the light controlling people thingy… yeah…

 

Jason: …light of hope or something like that?

 

Ky: ::shrugs::

 

LoOser-kun: I’m obviously a student of the Swordsman of Darkness, duh… dumbass…

 

Jason: wait… what’d you call me?

 

LoOser-kun: Umm… come dance?…

 

Jason: Well… I do like to dance… ::takes out a bouquet of flowers as a romantic background appears from nowhere:: when you see a beautiful girl standing alone… a beautiful dance will draw her near and allow your souls to blend into the most beautiful of evanescent hearts!…

 

Ky and K’ Jidos are hugging each other with tears in their eyes…

 

Ky and K’ Jidos: SO BEAUTIFUL!

 

Ky realizes something… then pushes K’ Jidos into a wall.

 

Ky: DON’T TOUCH ME!!!

 

K’ Jidos: …AHHHH!!! MY BEAUTIFUL FACE! YOU SCARRED MY BEAUTIFUL FACE!

 

LoOser-kun: Trust me… it’s an improvement…

 

Jason: …guys… ::watching at they all fight each other:: guys…… guys…… umm… what happened to that one guy? Seiji?…

 

Seiji’s outside with a bunch of cats…

 

Seiji: So… you found the assassin of flame?

 

Cat #1: Meow… ::Nods::

Seiji: Great… you’re the best pussy a boy could ever have…

 

LoOser-kun: You know… I have an odd desire to pet Seiji’s pussies…

 

Jason: ::shudders uncontrollably::

 

Seiji: I have found where the assassin of flame is… shall we go get him?…

 

Ky: Sure… but let me pet your pussy first…

 

Seiji: ::hesitant:: Okay… but be gentle…

 

Ky: Don’t worry, I have very soft hands… ::starts petting the cat::

 

Seiji: Don’t be so rough!

 

Ky: Don’t worry… this isn’t my first time!… Damn, why is your pussy so hairy?

 

Seiji: I don’t know…

 

Jason, LoOser-kun, and K’ Jidos: Ewwwww….

 

LoOser-kun: somehow… that desire is long gone now…

 

Later… Shigeru is still on the roof, looking up at the sky.

 

Shigeru: I guess this will be my base of operations… this roof that is…

 

A bunch of sharp papers come from the sky and imbed themselves into the roof.

 

Shigeru: AHHHHHHHHH!! MY BASE OF OPERATIONS!

 

LoOser-kun: YOU IDIOT! YOU MISSED!

 

K’ Jidos: No! That was a warning shot!

 

Ky: Why’d you warn him?! Now we can’t surprise attack him!

 

K’ Jidos: Hmph… bloody hell…

LoOser-kun: and stop talking like a saxon you sonuvabitch!

 

K’ Jidos: I’ll talk however I feel like… ::Ky and LoOser-kun begin to beat up K’ Jidos::

 

Seiji: Guys… he spotted us…

 

Shigeru goes to where they are…

 

Shigeru: More of Jason’s cronies eh?

 

Seiji: I’ll lead the attack… you follow behind me… and then… ::notices kids playing with tops on the street:: …You guys handle this… I must play… ::runs over to the kids::

 

Shigeru: …

 

Seiji: Hey kids… if you let me play… I’ll let you touch my pussy…

 

Kids: ::running away:: MOMMY!

 

Seiji runs after them…

 

Seiji: Wait! I MUST PLAY!

 

Shigeru: …umm…

 

Ky: Gosh… I guess we have to take care of this… ::rolls up his sleeves::

 

K’ Jidos: Yup… ::takes out a bunch of sharpened pieces of paper::

 

LoOser-kun: Fo shizzle…

 

Ky: ::stares at LoOser-kun::

 

LoOser-kun: Hey man… that’s the language of my village… it means… For sure…

 

K’ Jidos: Now then… ATTACK!

 

2 minutes later…

 

Shigeru: Were you guys really sent by Jason?… is this a joke?…

 

Ky, LoOser-kun, and K’ Jidos are all hanging upside down on a rope…

 

Ky: dang it… he truly is Shigeru Watabashi… getting us trapped in a trap like this…

 

Shigeru: YOU IDIOTS! THIS WAS A TRAP YOU SET FOR ME! YOU FELL INTO IT!

 

Ky: …shhhhh… nobody has to know that…

 

Shigeru: …

 

LoOser-kun: This sucks… You guys suck… I wanna go home…

 

Shigeru walks right under the hanging threesome…

 

Shigeru: You guys are the worst assassins ever… look at this poor craftsmanship on the trap… It’s like it will break down any second… uh oh…

 

The rope snaps and K’ Jidos and Ky land on Shigeru…

 

Shigeru: Well… that wasn’t so bad…

 

Tubby lands on Shigeru.

 

Shigeru: ACK!… ::goes unconscious::

 

LoOser-kun: Ha! I did it!

 

Meanwhile… Seiji has backed the kids up into a corner…

 

Seiji: ::creepily:: Come on… don’t you want to play with my pussy…

 

Kids: waaahhhh!

 

To be continued…

T.R.A.N.C.E.

 

Special Installment 2: Demon Three

 

There are three figures on a rooftop… one is playing around with needles… another is pacing back and forth, and the third is talking to a small raggedy doll.

 

Sin: ::guy pacing back and forth:: hmm…

 

Death: ::guy playing with needles:: I wonder where he is…

 

Corrupt: ::talking to the doll:: Yes… I do too…

 

Sin: Asssassin of flame huh?… We’ll show him what the three are capable of… ::flexes fingers::

 

Death: So… when’s this guy opening the gate? This Jason guy?

 

Corrupt: Elizabeth… says she doesn’t know…

 

Death: Stop playing with dolls… you creep me out…

 

Corrupt: ::grabs the doll tighter:: Elizabeth is NOT a doll…

 

A fourth guy appears onto the rooftop.

 

Demon: The assassin of flame is here… Jason took him…

 

Sin: Really Demon?… Ha! I guess the assassin isn’t all he’s cracked up to be.

 

Demon: No… Jason has hired people… talented… yet brainless nerdy type people…

 

Death: We can kill them easily…

 

Demon: Yes… we’ll take them out first… I’ve studied their abilities, strengths, and weaknesses, so it shouldn’t be that difficult… but… that one person may come back…

 

Corrupt: ::rocks back and forth on the ground:: Swordsman of Darkness…

 

Death: She’s strong… but us four together can probably take her down…

 

Sin: I say we just kill them…

 

Demon: Still… we don’t know the strength of the lord of the dance… it might be dangerous…

 

Death: I say we wait until Jason is about to open the gates before we make a move…

 

Demon: …No… We kill them all now… after all… it’s a celebration bitches… we will see those gates…after such a long time…

 

Sin: …sweet…

 

Demon: …yes… those… beautiful gates…

 

Corrupt: …so… do we have to kill?

 

Demon: …Yes… until the sun comes up… kill everyone in this town of Pan… leave no trace of life. Otherwise… the gates will not shine as brightly as they can.

 

Sin, Corrupt, and Death smile… they fly off the rooftop and land on the ground running… Demon stays on the rooftop for a while… then also jumps off…

 

Jason: ::opening his eyes from sleep:: Something’s coming…

 

Shigeru is chained up to a wall.

 

Shigeru: oy!… How long are you going to keep me locked up like this?

 

Jason: I need you for the opening of the gates… I will release you afterwards…

 

Shigeru: Dammit… you DO know what happens when the gates open, right?

 

Jason: …

 

Shigeru: …damn…

 

Screams start to echo from the town.

 

Jason: What’s that?…

 

Shigeru: I don’t know… let me go and I’ll find out.

 

Jason: Ky, LoOser, K’ Jidos, Seiji… come over here!

 

They walk in…

 

Ky: Where are those screams coming from?

 

Jason: They’re coming from town… I want you four to go check it out…

 

LoOser-kun: That sounds like a lot of screaming… maybe we should just stay here… and you know… wait it out…

 

K’ Jidos: Bah! K’ Jidos has no fear!

 

A really loud scream is heard.

 

K’ Jidos: …Bah! K’ Jidos will stay here!

 

LoOser-kun: Amen to that sister…

 

K’ Jidos: Um… I’m a guy…

 

LoOser-kun: Yeah… sure… ::rolls eyes::

 

Ky: Damn… there’s a lot of noise…

 

Seiji: I think we should go check it out…

 

Jason: You HAVE to go check it out… cause I hired you!

 

Ky: Fine… I’ll take the south…

 

LoOser-kun: I’ll take the west…

 

Seiji: Me and my pussies will take the east…

 

K’ Jidos: I’ll take a #3 combo and a coke… I mean… I’ll take the north… part… of… the town… thingy… ::shifts eyes::

 

They split up and leave.

 

Shigeru: … ::listens very closely:: Those screams… the rhythm… ::eyes widen:: Hey! You have to let me go! Now!

 

Jason: No can do…

 

Shigeru: No, you don’t understand…! You have no idea why I came to stop you from opening the gates, do you?!

 

Jason: The repercussions of opening them?

 

Shigeru: Not only the consequences… but I assume you’ve heard of the Demon three?

 

Jason: No…

 

Shigeru: GRR… stupid noble! The demon three are my direct rivals, another group of assassins!

 

Jason: So what?

 

Shigeru: They are attracted to any place where the gates may open… the Demon three are crazy bastards… they think the gates are “beautiful”… and in celebration of their appearance… they go and kill people.

 

Jason: …So?… if they do not enter the gate, it is fine…

 

Shigeru: I have to correct myself… when I said they kill people… I meant they kill EVERYONE. Nobody’s left.

 

Jason: …they cannot kill everyone of this town as long as I’m around…

 

Shigeru: …I’ve fought them before… they’re strong… the pattern of the screams… listen closely to it…

 

Jason: …

 

Shigeru: They use the screams to communicate to each other. They force their victims to scream for fun… it’s a game they play… whoever can cause the most pain to someone before they die, wins… they judge based on the scream…

 

Jason: ….

 

Shigeru: I’m telling you now… those four are no match for them.

 

Jason: …I think you’re wrong… those four should be able to beat them…

 

Shigeru: …You’re wrong… and by the way… the gate of ragnarok is not what you think it is…

 

Jason: …How would you know anything about it?…

 

Shigeru: ::hesitant:: …Because… I was there… the last time the gates appeared to heaven, hell, and ragnarok…

 

K’ Jidos has reached the north part of town.

 

K’ Jidos: Hmm… I don’t see much…

 

There’s nobody around…

 

K’ Jidos: And I don’t hear much…

 

There’s no more screams in the north part of town.

 

K’ Jidos: I don’t date much… and I don’t wash my face much… ::takes out a bicycle deck card from his pocket:: But… there’s a weird smell…

 

K’ Jidos turns a corner… on the street… are hundreds of people laid out dead… blood is trickling down the gutters…

 

K’ Jidos: ::seriously:: The smell… of blood… of women, children… men… babies… and… the smell of someone DRENCHED IN IT! ::throws the card at a figure on top of a nearby roof::

 

The card rips through the figure… the figure falls down… it’s nothing but a doll.

 

K’ Jidos: … :[pic]: Blood drenched… doll…

 

A voice echoes throughout the street…

 

Voice: Don’t blame me… Elizabeth told me to do it… she’s the evil one…

 

K’ Jidos: Sure… come out here… so I can kill you. ::takes out more cards::

 

Voice: Why won’t you believe me…

 

K’ Jidos: Shut up! You killed all these people! AND! ::suddenly stops talking…::

 

The doll that K’ Jidos had recently slashed with a card, has stabbed him in the back. It now has a evil look on its face… and has very sharp fangs.

 

Elizabeth: DIE!

 

K’ Jidos: AHHHH!!! ::running around in circles:: Get it off me! Get it off me! Get it off….

 

K’ Jidos’s body disintegrates and falls down… transformed into many cards…

 

Elizabeth: …decoy?… made out of cards?…

 

K’ Jidos jumps off a roof to the doll, and slashes it in half with a card.

 

K’ Jidos: ::realizing something:: It’s only a doll?!

 

Elizabeth: You meanie… ::turns head 180 degrees to face K’ Jidos:: You don’t play nice…

 

The arms, body, head, and legs of the doll separate and fly at K’ Jidos… the arms have blades coming out of them as do the legs, body, and head.

 

K’ Jidos: What the?!

 

The doll parts sweep past K’ Jidos, leaving several cuts on his body.

 

K’ Jidos: What kind of technique is this?!

 

Corrupt: …Elizabeth is going to kill again…

 

K’ Jidos: What?… ::looks up at another rooftop… Corrupt is there sitting down::

 

Corrupt: Shouldn’t be looking up here…

 

The doll parts stab K’ Jidos again.

 

K’ Jidos: TCH!

 

Corrupt: Oh… pretty good… you avoided hitting your major organs… but Elizabeth will not lose…

 

Elizabeth: ::in little girl’s voice:: Come on… ::the doll puts itself back together:: let’s play some more…

 

K’ Jidos: Fine… ::takes out a deck of cards:: Let’s play… ::uses one hand to shoot off the cards into the air::

 

The cards suspend themselves in the air, surrounding the doll.

 

K’ Jidos: Let’s play some poker. Get it… I’m going to poke you!

 

(Joe note: that was a unbelievably lame line)

 

Elizabeth: ::little girl’s voice:: Hee hee… ::blue doll eyes turn red::

 

K’ Jidos: Die...

 

The cards start to circle Elizabeth like a tornado…

 

K’ Jidos: Royal FLUSH!

 

The cards begin to fly out from random directions in the tornado of cards, slashing through the doll.

 

Elizabeth: I don’t like this game!

 

The cards stop… Elizabeth falls down in many fragments of wood.

 

K’ Jidos: ::points at Corrupt:: WHAT KIND OF SICKO PLAYS WITH DOLLS! ::hides his mashimaru doll behind his back::

 

Corrupt: …You killed Elizabeth… but… I can always make more dolls to play with…

 

The dead people on the street start to stand slowly…

 

K’ Jidos: …wAH! Scary!!!

 

Corrupt: Meet my new dolls… Dead Ventriloquist technique…

 

K’ Jidos: …You know… I’m bleeding a lot right now… I have acne problems… and now there’s a horde of dead bodies being controlled by some weird guy attacking me… So… since I’m very injured right now… Let me end this quickly… ::Mashimaru doll lights up a little:: ::K’ Jidos throws the Mashimaru doll at Corrupt::

 

Corrupt: …a present…for me?

 

The mashimaru doll connects with the stomach of Corrupt… and rips him in half.

 

Corrupt: …play?… ::falls down in two pieces… the dead dolls all fall down too::

 

K’ Jidos: …not just cards… I can make ANYTHING a weapon… even my very cute mashimaru doll! SOOOO CUUUUUTTTTEEE! Sigh… ::looks at all the dead people:: to think a toy did all this…

 

Someone appears in front of K’ Jidos as he stands…

 

K’ Jidos: Huh? Oh… it’s you… what do you wa…?

 

The person has stabbed K’ Jidos in the stomach with a knife.

 

K’ Jidos: … ::falls on knees:: Why?…

 

Someone: Ragnarok, but of course…

 

Later… with LoOser-kun in the west…

 

LoOser-kun: …There’s a lot of dead bodies… hmm… and all of them… ARE HEADLESS!

 

The dead bodies all have no heads…

 

LoOser-kun: What kind of guy would do this?…

 

Death appears in front of Cuong… rising from a pile of bodies…

 

Death: ::holding a huge Scythe:: Death… Death would do it…

 

LoOser-kun: …how… scary…

 

Death: Yes… and you will die… suffer!… STOP PRETENDING YOU’RE DEAD!

 

LoOser-kun: ::gets back off the ground:: Damn… my master plan did not work…

 

Death: As I was saying… I will kill you………

 

LoOser-kun: Umm… right… umm… ::points Palm at Death:: Sigh… Shadow spell…

 

Shadows surround death…

 

LoOser-kun: Well… that was easy…

 

The shadows get cut in half… and Death walks out unharmed.

 

Death: My scythe can cut anything… even shadow…

 

LoOser-kun: well… good for you… what do you want me to do about it?…

 

Death: I killed all these people… be scared… be frightened… be sorrowful!

 

LoOser-kun: Shut up… you’re so annoying…

 

Death: What?! DEATH IS LIFE! DEATH IS DEATH! DEATH CONTROLS EVERYTHING! DESTROY! ::rushes at LoOser-kun::

 

LoOser-kun: … ::points palm at Death:: Shadow destruction!

 

Shadows rip along the ground towards Death… Death slices them away with his scythe and continues to run towards LoOser-kun…

 

Death: DIE! ::swings down scythe at LoOser-kun::

 

LoOser-kun: ::puts palm down:: …Enough… ::catches scythe with bare hands::

 

Death: WHAT?! ::sweatdrop::

 

LoOser-kun: Don’t underestimate tubby… I am the successor to the swordsman of darkness… and you know why we hold that title?… Because of one technique…

 

LoOser-kun pushes the Scythe and Death away.

 

LoOser-kun: ::gets into a sword draw position even though he doesn’t have a sword:: Come… I’ll show you the Shadow Sword technique… I’ll rip off your head… just as you did to these people…

 

Death: ::somewhat hesitant now:: Heh! Death does not fear anything! ::swings Scythe up again… and rushes toward LoOser-kun::

 

LoOser-kun: SHADOW SWORD!

 

Death: TOO LATE! ::swinging down scythe::

 

LoOser-kun pretends to draw a sword as Death swings down his scythe… They switch positions as they attack, their backs facing each other’s… they are still… and locked into their same positions.

 

Death: :[pic]: hahahahahhahahaha! ::the scythe falls apart into pieces:: Death dying?… how ironic… ::body explodes, squirting out blood, head slides off::

 

LoOser-kun: …did you see it?… the sword of shadows… I think you did not…

 

There’s a large gash in LoOser-kun’s chest.

 

LoOser-kun: I see… it seems… that I cannot master that technique… pity… ::falls down onto the ground:: I wanted… to die eating the largest cheeseburger in the world…

 

In the south… Sin is running away from someone…

 

Sin: You have to be kidding me! I can’t kill someone like him!

 

A blast of light explodes in front of Sin… stopping him in his tracks… Ky smashes Sin’s chest with a fist of light, ripping through his body… Then with his other hand… which is sticking out two fingers surrounded with light… He swings around and cleanly cuts off Sin’s head.

 

Ky: Well… this was interesting…

 

A woman walks up to Ky…

 

Woman: thank you! Thank you! You saved us!

 

Ky: Don’t mention it… ::stabs the woman in the stomach with the knife he used to stab K’ Jidos::

 

The woman falls on the ground dead.

 

Ky: …did you see?…

 

A group of survivors are looking on scared at Ky…

 

Survivor #1: Get the guardian of love! Hurry!

 

Ky runs up to Survivor #1 and uses his scissor janken to cut his head off.

 

Ky: Now, now… I can’t have you doing that…

 

Survivor #2: Bastard…! ::rushes toward Ky::

 

Ky: Heh… ::pushes palm against survivor #2’s chest and uses Janken Paper to fire off a huge light blast which disintegrates him:: Is this all?

 

Survivor #3: …Please! Please don’t kill me!

 

Ky: Coward… You dare beg for your useless life?… I’ll give you five seconds to run… five… four…

 

Survivor #3: waa… AHHHH!! ::running away::

 

Ky: three… two…

 

Survivor #3: ::still running away:: AHHHHHHHHHH!!

 

Ky: One… ::points palm at Survivor #3 and fires off paper janken again::

 

Survivor #3 is engulfed by the light and explodes.

 

Ky: My, my… I wondered how long it would be until I could show my true colors… heh… That berserker spirit is mine… Jason… you will not get it… ::turns and begins to walk away::

 

Ky is about to get out of the alley, when Seiji comes out and gets in his way.

 

Seiji: True colors, huh?…

 

Ky: Tsk tsk tsk… you saw?… Belief of hope? ::lights up fist:: Janken… rock…

 

Seiji: Janken?… ::looks serious:: If you use that… ::also gets into a Janken stance:: Then I shall also…

 

Ky: Oh? You know janken style also?

 

Seiji: What do you think? How dare you use that style for selfish greed? Janken was made for oppressed people to defend themselves… I cannot let someone like you use it… let alone enter the gates… I don’t know what your goal is… but I’ve seen enough of your actions to know they’re not good… I will stop you… ::gets in a variation of the stance:: Let’s go…

 

Seiji: ….

 

Ky: ….

 

Seiji: ::running at Ky:: PAPER!

 

Ky: SCISSORS!

 

Seiji fires off a blast of energy at Ky, which Ky cuts in half.

 

Seiji: ::flips over Ky and makes a fist of energy:: ROCK!

 

Ky: PAPER!

 

Seiji swings his fist down at Ky, but Ky uses his palm to block it. Ky fires off a blast from his palm to throw Seiji’s fist away… Seiji’s fist is bleeding.

 

Ky: ::running towards Seiji:: SCISSORS! ::surrounding two of his fingers with light energy::

 

Seiji: ::does the same with his two fingers:: SCISSORS! ::blocks Ky’s scissors, and clenches his other hand into a fist:: ROCK! ::swings his fist at Ky::

 

Ky: Crap! ::gets the attack straight in the face and is thrown back far::

 

Seiji: ::running towards Ky, unrelenting in his attack:: Nitou Janken SCISSORS! ::makes janken scissors out of both his hands:: KAITEN RYUU! ::spins towards Ky and makes two slashes::

 

Ky: ugh! ::dodges barely, receiving two cuts in the chest:: Nitou Janken Meteor ROCK! ::makes a janken paper out of one hand, and a janken rock out of the other, fires off the blast from the palm and hits the blast with his fist… enlarging the amount of light energy in his fist… also speeding him up at Seiji::

 

Seiji: Janken-ryuu! ROCK DEFENSE! ::makes a fist of energy and pounds the ground with it… bringing up a wall of rock and stone::

 

Ky’s attack breaks through the wall, but is diverted enough to avoid hitting Seiji.

 

Seiji: and this… is the end! NITOU JANKEN SCISSORS! ::creates janken scissors out of both hands:: KAITEN RYUU!

 

Ky: ::thinking:: No time to dodge the spin slash! Have to beat his scissors with rock!

 

Ky: Nitou Janken ROCK! KOKORO-RYUU! ::both hands turned into fists of light energy… Ky and Seiji clash::

 

Meanwhile… in another part of the city…

 

Demon: Weak… all so weak… none of them worthy of viewing the majestic greatness of the gates… ::standing amonst piles of dead bodies:: I believe I have done well in the service of it… Ragnarok…

 

Shigeru appears behind Demon.

 

Shigeru: Demon…

 

Demon: Well, if it isn’t… assassin of flame… Shigeru… Watabashi…

 

Shigeru: You know why I’m here…

 

Demon: yes…

 

Shigeru: then you know that you’re going to die…

 

Demon: Yes… I will die… but not by your hands! ::turns around with some sorta weird green plasma energy circling his hands:: POISON STAB! ::swings smoking green hand at Shigeru::

 

Shigeru: ::thinking:: Shit! Can’t breathe in!… ::dashes backwards as Demon follows after him swinging his poisonous hands to many places::

 

Demon: Will you try?! To stop my enjoyment of the gates also?!

 

Shigeru: You perverted FUCK!

 

Demon: WHY CAN’T YOU JUST LEAVE ME BE?! I DO NOT WISH TO ENTER IT UNLIKE THAT FOOL JASON! Why not stop him?! I MERELY WISH TO SEE THE GATE’S GLORY!

 

Shigeru: And for that reason alone?! You kill people?! ::kicks Demon in the face::

 

Demon: ::recovering and rushing back at Shigeru, throwing swings as shigeru dodges to the sides:: Why not?! Everybody eventually dies! Assassins like you and I! We just speed up that process!

 

Shigeru: DON’T COMPARE ME WITH THE LIKES OF YOU! ::grabs the arm of Demon and throws him onto the ground::

 

Demon: We’re the same! ASSASSIN OF FLAME! YOU! AND I ARE THE SAME TYPE OF BEINGS!

 

Shigeru: ::lighting his hands on blue flame:: YOU’RE WRONG! ::running towards Demon at the side… does a spin kick in the air… Demon catches it and blows a toxic green gas into Shigeru’s face:: Ack! ::steps back and grabs eyes:: ::thinking:: Don’t breathe in… one breath and you’re dead…

 

Demon: ::punches Shigeru in the stomach hard, forcing Shigeru to open his mouth and gasp for breath:: You kill! I kill! Humans KILL!

 

Shigeru: ::breathing hard:: THAT’S ONE SIDE OF YOUR SICK STORY! ::lights his leg on fire and kicks Demon in the stomach, Demon doubles over, recovers quickly, and backs off:: HUMANS ARE NOT ALL LIKE THAT!

 

Demon: ::attacking ferociously again:: THEN WHAT ABOUT YOU?! YOU WHO KILL FOR MONEY!

 

Shigeru: Urgh… ::thinking about when he first met Audria:: There is always more than one side to a story! ::blocking a fist from Demon:: I’m not going to kill anymore… after I kill you… I’m done…

 

Shigeru and Demon back off and circle each other.

 

Demon: Nonsense… You will never be done… YOU HAVE THE STENCH OF BLOOD ON YOU!

 

Shigeru: What?… ::gets a fist to the face::

 

Shigeru: ::thinking:: That poison I inhaled… it’s taking effect… Shit…

 

Demon: What will you be after you quit?! ::blows more poisonous smoke at Shigeru, Shigeru uses his flame to blow it away and rushes at Demon:: A shoe salesman?! ::dodging one of Shigeru’s kicks:: A dog walker?! ::dodging a flaming punch from Shigeru:: OR DO YOU THINK YOU’LL BE A NOBLE?!

 

Shigeru: … ::grimaces:: ::Demon knees Shigeru in the stomach and punches him in the face, he grabs him by the shirt, and throws him into the wall of a nearby house::

 

Demon: What will you be?… A fugitive… feared by all…

 

Shigeru: ::thinking of Audria as he gets up:: You’re wrong…

 

Demon: What?…

 

Shigeru: ::thinking of Audria:: As long… ::coughs up blood… slightly green from the poison:: as I have someone… ::couging violently:: to protect… I won’t care… about… ::fierce look, rushes at Demon:: THE OPINIONS OF YOUR IMAGINARY PERCEPTION OF HUMANS!

 

Demon: Imaginary?… foolish…

 

Shigeru: ::goes up to Demon and kicks him straight in the face… uses his leg on Demon’s shoulder to propel himself up to deliver another kick to Demon’s face using his other leg:: I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY!

 

Demon: ::bleeding a little from the mouth:: Human’s greed… heh… what did Jason promise you so you’d work for him?… hmm? Money? High status? Greed embodies the human race…

 

Shigeru: Jason didn’t release me because of any of that… because… because… he released me because… I told him the truth about those gates… and I believe he now understands… what those gates mean…

 

Demon: …Don’t talk of my beautiful gates! YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THEM! ::a sword actually begins to come out of Demon’s arm… a greenish poisonous sword:: DIE! ::rushes at Shigeru with the poisonous sword::

 

Shigeru: I’ll show you… that humans… are not greedy! ::sticks out arms… and allows himself to be stabbed straight through by Demon’s blade:: I’ll show you… ::grabs Demon and pulls him in close… Shigeru’s whole body begins to ignite:: LET’S GO TOGETHER! LET’S FIND OUT WHAT THAT GATE IS ABOUT!

 

Demon: UGH! ::can’t get free of Shigeru’s grip::

 

Shigeru: YOU LIKE THE GATES SO MUCH!… WHY DON’T WE VISIT THE GATE OF HELL TOGETHER?!

 

Demon: UGH! ::struggling to get free::

 

At Audria’s temple… the winds begin to blow stronger and harder than before.

 

Audria: …Shigeru…

 

Back in Pan…

 

Shigeru: ::coughing up blood:: hahahahaha… funny…

 

Demon: What?! Stop laughing you fool! Hahahaha! HA! That idiot Jason’s going to enter the gates and kill everything you love! Do you not understand?!

 

Shigeru: ::chuckling:: heh… that’s why I hate you… making assumptions about people… Jason will not kill anyone… He indeed will absorb the berserker spirit… and then throw himself into the gates…

 

Demon: …What did you say?!

 

Shigeru: hahahahaha… those gates are going bye bye… because Jason’s on his way there now… the berserker spirit… gates… and powers such as yours or mine… have no place in this world!

 

Demon: NO! I WON’T LET YOU DESTROY THE GATES!

 

Shigeru: …too late… ::looks up at the sky:: The winds are blowing strong………… ::flame bursts rapidly out of Shigeru’s body, engulfing both him and Demon… the cloth that Audria gave Shigeru slips out of his pocket and disintegrates slowly in the flame… the flames dissapear… and so do Shigeru and Demon::

 

Shigeru: ::last words heard… even though he’s gone:: I was glad Audria… that you gave me a dream… and something to protect…

 

The winds blow… harder… Back to where Ky and Seiji are…

 

Ky: ::arm is missing… bleeding profusely:: AHHHHHHHH!!! DAMN!! FUCK!!

 

Seiji’s dead on the floor… along with Ky’s arm.

 

Ky: Son of a bitch… ripped off my arm… before I could kill him… the gates… I must make it to them… I must get that spirit! ::limps off in the direction of the gates::

 

Jason is now walking towards the gates alone… through the death ridden streets of the once beautiful Pan.

 

Jason: ::remembering what Shigeru told him:: The gate of ragnarok gives you ultimate power… not the power to seek peace… but the power to bring about peace through war. You will lose all sense of yourself and become a berserker… and kill until there is nobody left… Then comes true peace… and true peace equals a world without humans…

 

Jason: …All of this… to create more destruction… the gates… I wished to get the ultimate power… to bring you back… ::remembers the figure of someone and a voice:: Someday… peace will come… and then we can be together…

 

Jason: All I’ve been doing… what has it been for?… All I can do now to atone for these lives… is to seal everything… the gates will never appear again…

 

At the temple of Audria…

 

Audria: …I need to go to Pan…

 

Servant #1: Madam?… Pan?… it’s dangerous over there… a storm is brewing…

 

Audria: Yes… I know… That is why… I need to go…

 

In the town of Pan…

 

Leiza: Geez… you’re very fat…

 

LoOser-kun: whatever… I almost died…

 

Leiza: I can’t believe a student of mine couldn’t defeat a weakling without getting injured badly…

 

LoOser-kun: Whatever…

 

Leiza: ::carrying LoOser on her back:: We should go see what that gay guy is up to…

 

LoOser-kun: Yeah………

 

Leiza: Also… there maybe trouble…

 

LoOser-kun: Huh?…

 

Leiza: In the soutside of Pan… I found…

 

Leiza remembers the figure on the ground.

 

Leiza: The corpse… of that light guy…except… his body showed that he died yesterday… and to another light user…

 

LoOser-kun: …yesterday?… :[pic]: We better hurry… something’s not right here…

 

Back with the one armed “Ky”…

 

Ky: Damn… I hate using this disguise… ::light disappears from the body, leaving behind not Ky, but a different person::

 

Ruuster: I laik mai pauer steeling pauers… Nau, tyme to get zat berserker spirit!

 

To be continued…

T.R.A.N.C.E.

 

Final Special Installment: The Future of Hope

 

Jason: ::walking towards a beach area:: The gates… how much have the materialized?…

 

Jason turns the corner… and sees three huge gates. A red, evil looking gate. A blue, heavenly looking gate. Then, there is a gate between them… with both evil, and good looking statues built into it.

 

Jason: ::standing before the huge gates:: …Ragnarok… I thought you would be able to bring peace to this world…

 

Jason remembers a scene… He walks into his home… His entire family is killed on the floor.

 

Jason: So… that something like that would never happen again… ::laughs:: Foolish, huh?…

 

The gate of Ragnarok shines red.

 

Jason: …the only way to bring peace to this world… is to kill humankind…

 

The gate of Ragnarok shines even brighter.

 

Jason: However… to kill off humans… is to… kill off love… friendship…. Happiness… life… I cannot condone it. ::takes out a scroll from his pocket:: I will lock these gates forever… ::the ring and necklace that Audria gave Shigeru falls from his pocket onto the floor::

 

Jason remembers Shigeru telling him something before he goes off to fight Demon.

 

Shigeru: …Take this… Give this back to her. Tell her to be happy, no matter where she goes or who she’s with.

 

Jason shifts his foot in the sand… and unrolls the scroll.

 

Jason: Locking the gates… will guarantee that the future… has hope… Hope for humans… hope for them all…

 

The scroll floats in midair in front of Jason.

 

Jason: …hope to find peace.

 

Ruuster comes out of nowhere, and snatches the scroll away.

 

Jason: what?! Who are you?! Give that back?

 

Ruuster: Wai? Yoo caunt tell mee wot to do.

 

Jason: …Then I’ll kill you! ::forms a crazy 8::

 

Ruuster: Hmm?… dunt beee lik dat… ::suddenly transforms:: Or I’ll have to get mean…

 

Jason: …what the…?

 

Ruuster has transformed into K’ Jidos.

 

K’ Jidos: You’ll never lay a hand on my obnoxiously good looking body! ::takes out a card::

 

Jason: …shapeshifting?… ::attacks with the crazy 8:: IMPOSSIBLE!

 

K’ Jidos: ::jumps to the side to dodge it:: ::a mysterious force hits him:: UGH!…

 

Jason: …did you get hit?… I forgot to mention… the crazy 8 is unavoidable…

 

K’ Jidos: …Fine… ::throws card at Jason::

 

Jason: ::catches the card:: …is that it?

 

K’ Jidos: No! ::transforms into Shigeru::

 

Shigeru: ::blue flame surrounds him:: I’M NOT DONE YET! THAT BERSERKER SPIRIT IS MINE!

 

Jason: ::wide eyes:: You’re after that?…

 

Shigeru: ::rushes at Jason:: YES!

 

Jason: ::kicks Shigeru in the face to knock him back:: Enough of these games… show me your true form… oh yeah… and give me back the scroll!

 

Shigeru: ::smiling:: My true form?… well… You asked for it… ::transforms again, but black energy is pouring out of him this time::

 

Jason: …What???… This energy is?! :[pic]: Youkai energy…

 

The black energy reaches the gate of Ragnarok… and it begins to open.

 

Jason: IMPOSSIBLE!… Youkais are supposed to be extinct! ::looks over at the gate of Ragnarok:: No… impossible…

 

The transformation stops… and Shigeru has transformed… into a normal looking man. Except he has long silver hair… horns… and large green eyes.

 

Youkai: We are not extinct… heh…

 

Jason: … ::thinking:: This is the worst possible situation I could be in…

 

Meanwhile, with Leiza and LoOser-kun… They see the black energy flowing into the sky.

 

Leiza: :[pic]: That’s… youkai energy…

 

LoOser-kun: huh? What’s a youkai? Is it delicious?

 

Leiza: no! A youkai is a demon… and demons are supposed to be extinct… Shit… this is a bad situation…

 

LoOser-kun: …why?

 

Leiza: Youkais are able to flow their dark energy into anything corruptible… ::remembers the demon three:: I see… he corrupted those assassins into loving the gate…

 

LoOser-kun: …umm… so what?

 

Leiza: …Ragnarok is a gate where good meets evil in deadlock. If that balance is tipped… the gates will open… Usually, you need all the talented to be there… the people with powers… to tip the good factor… and open the gates… However… a single youkai can add in evil… and open the gate…

 

LoOser-kun: …all this talk about the gate… WHAT does it do?

 

Leiza: …nobody has ever entered the gate… but… it is said… that… when the gates open, a spirit will be released… into someone nearby… If they enter the gate… it cancels out the process of the gates…. And the gates will close indefinitely. However, if that person is strong enough to rip away the spirit and not enter… He will have a immense power… but a uncontrollable one. On the other hand… if the person it enters is weak… They’ll automatically die. So, you see… nobody has ever successfully locked the gates or brought the spirit to this world, they’ve all been too weak…

 

LoOser-kun: umm… what about this scroll thing that Jason talked about before?

 

Leiza: The person holding the scroll is guaranteed that the spirit will enter them. The scroll also contains valuable info concerning the gates… But if someone else takes it up... like a Youkai…

 

LoOser-kun: What will happen?

 

Leiza: …He’ll kill us all… ::thinks:: tch… a single youkai is hard enough… but one that’s a berserker? I cannot allow it! ::shadows engulf Leiza and LoOser-kun:: Secret TECHNIQUE! SHADOW TELEPORT!

 

LoOser-kun: Not this! I always get sick after this!!!!

 

They dissapear. Back with Jason…

 

Jason: Youkai… I will defeat you… ::makes another crazy 8:: AND RIP THE SCROLL FROM YOUR DEAD HANDS!

 

The gates are still slowly opening…

 

Youkai: …come… ::claws made of bone rip out of his skin:: Try to take the scroll from me. I will bring her into this world, no matter what…

 

Jason: …Bring what?…

 

Youkai: ::chuckles:: The maiden of death…

 

Jason: … ::serious look:: LIKE I’LL LET THAT HAPPEN! ::charges forward with the crazy 8::

 

Youkai: ::pushes his claws straight forward… they hit Jason’s chest, Jason jumps back… he is bleeding from his chest:: The crazy 8?… easily countered with a forward stab…

 

Jason: …tch…

 

Youkai: If I can’t dodge or block that attack… I’ll just have to counter it each time…

 

Jason: …Really now?…

 

Youkai: Hmm… the gates seem to be just ready to open… will I be able to bring her back?… the maiden of death?

 

Jason: STOP TALKING YOU ASSHOLE! ::rushes at the Youkai… and kicks at its head::

 

The youkai virtually disappears and ends up behind Jason.

 

Youkai: too slow… how can you get the scroll if you fight like that?…

 

Jason: ::grimaces:: I guess I’ll have try different moves then! ::grabs his sleeve and does a sliding dance over the the Youkai::

 

Jason jumps forward, flips and does suspends himself in the air with his hands on the ground. He spins and kicks down at the Youkai. The Youkai jumps back to dodge it. Jason runs over to the Youkai. He kicks at him with one foot, then spins, and kicks with his other… the Youkai dodges them both.

 

Youkai: Really… is that all?… ::swings his claws sideways at Jason::

 

Jason flips down on the ground, dodges the claws, then pops himself back up with his hands. He punches forward, the youkai dodges to the side again.

 

Jason: …too fast…

 

Youkai: …indeed…

 

The gates are almost totally open.

 

Youkai: Well then… looks like it’s time for my ascension.

 

Jason: Dammit!

 

Suddenly, a mysterious force appears to stop the gates from opening… The gates begin to close slowly…

 

Jason: …What?…

 

Youkai: :[pic]: Someone’s stopping my spell?

 

Audria is in front of the gate, making a symbol in the sand… Looking very stressed.

 

Audria: This is quite… difficult…

 

Youkai: …who… IS DARE MESSING WITH MY MAIDEN OF DEATH! ::runs at Audria::

 

Shadows appear in front of the Youkai… Leiza appears from the shadows…

 

Leiza: I’ll be your opponent now…

 

Youkai: … ::calming down:: Heh… no matter… that woman won’t be able to keep it closed for long… Her powers are no match for my powers…

 

Leiza: ::makes a sword stance, as if she’s about to draw a sword, even though she doesn’t have one:: Come… I’ll kill you quickly…

 

Youkai: :[pic]: That’s… Shadow Sword…

 

Leiza: If you know it… then you must fear it.

 

Youkai: …

 

Jason: Umm… hello?! What about me?

 

Youkai: …damn..

 

Jason: ::forming a crazy 8:: Nowhere to run now!

 

Youkai: ::looks over at Leiza who’s in shadow sword stance… and Jason with his crazy 8:: This sucks…

 

Leiza rushes forward as Khoi does… Khoi hits the Youkai dead in the chest with the crazy 8, the youkai’s arms are ripped off. Leiza goes down low… and swings an invisible sword… the youkai’s legs are totally ripped off cleanly.

 

Youkai: I HATE YOU GUYS! YOU’RE SO MEAN! YOU DON’T PLAY FUCKING FAIR! YOU’RE NOT INVITED TO MY BIRTHDAY PARTY!

 

Jason: shut up!

 

Leiza: …he’s still alive after that… damn…

 

Jason: Well… I did hold back… Now then…

 

Audria: Hey! You guys! I can’t hold this for long!

 

Jason: Oh, right… ::begins to search the Youkai, look of fear:: I… I… can’t find it…

 

Leiza: What?…

 

LoOser-kun: …umm… uh oh?

 

Leiza: …MOVE OVER! ::pushes Jason out of the way and begins to search the youkai frantically::

 

Jason in a daze… walks over to the gates of Ragnarok… as if he’s thinking about something drastic.

 

Leiza: ::notices Audria straining, and the gates starting to open again:: It’s happening… we have to stop it…!

 

Audria: I can’t hold it for long…!

 

Leiza: ::grabbing the Youkai by his shirt:: Dammit! Where’s the scroll?! Where is it?!

 

Youkai: hehehe… I hid it…

 

Leiza: What?!… you? What did you do?!

 

Youkai: ::arms and legs suddenly spring back to life and connect with his body:: I WILL ENTER THE GATE TO BRING HER BACK!

 

LoOser-kun: No! ::points palm at the Youkai:: YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND!

 

They hear Audria yell…

 

Audria: Hey! What are you doing?!

 

Jason: ::facing the gates, forming a crazy 8::

 

Audria: Hey!

 

Jason: There’s no other choice!!! ::runs at the gate::

 

Jason hits the gate with the crazy 8… making a huge crack in it.

 

Jason: Heh… nobody’s going to enter the gate, unfortunately… we’re all going to die…

 

Leiza: YOU FOOL! YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU HAVE DONE!

 

Jason: This was the only way… Now… nobody can enter the gates… the gates will not close forever… but neither will the world end…

 

The crack grows bigger…

 

LoOser-kun: ::looking scared::

 

Leiza: ::also looking scared:: …what will be the consequences of doing this?

 

Audria: …

 

Youkai: …YOU!!! ::rushes at Jason::

 

Audria takes out a fan… She swings it at the Youkai… The youkai gets a large gash on it’s neck. Leiza moves right in front of the Youkai very quickly…

 

Leiza: SHADOW SWORD! ::swings the invisible sword and rips off the youkai’s head::

 

Youkai: You guys suck! ::disintegrates into nothing::

 

Audria: …Where’s Shigeru?… ::looks around::

 

The crack grows larger…

 

Jason: … ::hesitates:: ::Looks down at the ring on the floor:: He’s…

 

The crack breaks open… a huge light rushes out.

 

Jason: ::smiles:: He’s… really in love with you…

 

The light grows even more… and flashes brightly…

 

The End of the Special.

T.R.A.N.C.E.

 

9th Installment: Ryuusei

 

Joe: ::ryuusei in hand:: you won’t leave this cave alive…

 

Jason: ::forming crazy 8:: Man… this is going to be bad…

 

Khoi: Wait… lemme come out and try to talk to him. I think he’s Joe’s ghost! OooOOOoooh!

 

Jason: …umm… right… ::stops crazy 8:: If you get killed… don’t blame me…

 

Khoi: umm… okay… I’ll blame… ::shifts eyes:: Cuong.

 

Jason transforms back into Khoi.

 

Khoi: Umm… Joe… I know you’re mad that I killed you… but should that REALLY get in the way of our relationship?…

 

Joe: …YES!

 

Khoi: umm… who said that?

 

Jason: Oh man… we’re going to die…

 

Joe: ::charges with the ryuusei:: DAMMIT! DIE!

 

Khoi: Umm… if this is Joe… ::kicks forward::

 

Joe gets kicked in the balls.

 

Joe: …unbelievable… ::falls over… ryuusei disperses::

 

Khoi: I DID IT! I DID IT! TAKE THAT GHOST JOE! NOW WHO’S THE KING OF THE JUNGLE?!

 

Joe: ::gets back up:: That’s it! I don’t need my powers to beat you!

 

Khoi: hmph, me neither!

 

Joe kicks forward, but misses Khoi’s nuts…

 

Joe: …

 

Khoi: umm… Joe… you got a piece of me there…

 

Joe: ::goes over to corner and screams with his hands on his head::

 

Khoi: Umm… you know you liked it?

 

Joe: NO I DON’T! FIRST YOU KILL ME! NOW THIS?! IT’S BOGGLING TO THE MIND!!!

 

Khoi: …yeah… I’m sorry about that… It’s all that damn cat’s fault!

 

Joe: What cat?

 

Khoi: Umm… Oh yeah… you haven’t been in the installments recently…

 

Joe: FREAKING HELL!!! I GOT CUT FROM THE STORY NOW?! ::goes to sob quietly in the corner::

 

Jason: Umm… are you serious? What about vengeance?! What about killing us?!

 

Khoi: Pff! It’s Joe! If he was so vengeful he would’ve killed me for kicking him in the nuts so much… oooOOOooh!

 

Joe: Sigh… this sucks…

 

Khoi: umm… anyways… you aren’t the real Joe are you?

 

Joe: …why do you say that?

 

Khoi: Well, first of all… Joe’s balls have a lot more recoily feel to them when I kick them… Yours just absorb the impact like Jon’s!

 

Away in the distance…

 

Jon: ::holding up a paper:: WHAT?! WHAT?! WHAT?!

 

Back to the cave…

 

Khoi: Oh yeah… he’s still voiceless… and isn’t time supposed to be stopped over there?! Geez…

 

Joe: …weird…

 

Khoi: Also… umm… your attack was pretty girly… for Joe even…

 

Joe: …

 

Khoi: Also…

 

Joe: ENOUGH!

 

Khoi: oooOOOooh!

 

Joe: ARGH! Fine! You want the truth?! I’m not real! I’m a freaking thing made by that fountain shit in this shitty cave! Hmph!

 

Khoi: hA! I knew it!… umm… that you weren’t the real Joe… ::shifts eyes:: not the fountain thingy though…

 

Joe: …indeed.

 

Khoi: …nuttap! ::kicks Joe in the nuts::

 

Joe: stop that! ::tries to kick again, but misses::

 

Khoi: umm… you got another piece of me…

 

Joe: ARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!

 

Khoi: you know that’s an “argh” of pleasure… oooOOOooh! Who said that?!

 

Joe: …I’m outta here… ::disappears::

 

Khoi’s all alone in the cave again, next to the fountain.

 

Khoi: Well, that’s the end of that chapter. ::walks out of the cave::

 

Jason: Umm… Khoi… did you find your answer to that cat’s question?

 

Khoi: Well, duh… stoOpid. The island’s stupid cause there’s no hot chicks or hot guys to molest…

 

Jason: …okay…

 

Khoi: and… true strength is ::remembers all three events in the cave:: …the ability to protect others.

 

Neko-chan pops out of nowhere…

 

Neko-chan: Good job fatty… I’ll take those answers… even though they’re… umm… not that great.

 

Khoi: …I don’t like cats…

 

Neko-chan: YOU FUCKING BASTARD! WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?! YOU ASSHOLE!

 

Khoi: umm… oooOOOooh?

 

Neko-chan: …argh… anyways… ::takes out a cigarette::

 

Khoi: ::smacking the cigarette out of Neko-chan’s mouth:: smoking is bad for you Mr. Kitty cat!

 

Neko-chan: YOU MOTHERFUCKING BITCH ASS FUCKING SHIT DAMN MOTHER SHITTING FUCK ASS BITCH DUMB SHIT COCK SUCKING FUCKING BASTARD!

 

Khoi: ::gasp:: WHO TOLD YOU TO SPEAK LIKE THAT FLUFFY?! NAUGHTY KITTY! OooOOOoooh!

 

Neko-chan: DAMN YOU! I’M A BERSERKER SPIRIT!

 

Khoi: umm… okay… well, I think me and Jason know what we’re going to train on! WHEE!

 

Neko-chan: Oh? And what is that?

 

Khoi: WE’RE GOING TO MASTER GOING BERSERK!

 

Neko-chan smacks Khoi on the head.

 

Neko-chan: Didn’t I tell you before?! You asshole! YOU CAN’T CONTROL YOURSELF AS A BERSERKER!

 

Khoi: So, I can’t control myself around Cuong… oooOOOoooh! Who said that?

 

Neko-chan: …Why don’t you work on a technique or something? Nobody has ever mastered going berserk! They all just go crazy and kill people!

 

Khoi: Hmm… ::picks up Neko-chan:: Where do I stuff you to go berserk?

 

Neko-chan: :[pic]: Huh? ::blinks::

 

Khoi: Well, you ARE my berserker spirit… I can’t go berserk without you… ::tries to stuff Neko-chan into his ass:: Do you go in here???? OooOOOooh!

 

Neko-chan: YOU ASS! STOP THAT! ::scratches Khoi’s ass::

 

Khoi: OW! Stop THAT! You pervert!

 

Neko-chan: ARGH! Forget it… If you want to master going berserk… do it yourself… You don’t need me to go berserk…

 

Khoi: Oh… so… you’re useless! GO BACK TO YOUR LITTERBOX!

 

Neko-chan: I’M NOT A FUCKING CAT! YOU ASS!

 

Back with Charles…

 

Charles: ::spins twice and kicks a bamboo tree:: DIEEEEEEEEEE!!!

 

The bamboo tree comes back up…

 

Charles: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

 

Back with Cuong…

 

Cuong: ::running up the mountain… then sliding back down:: whee! Aww… ::runs back up:: I can do it! I can do it! ::slips and slides down:: SHIT! Whee! Aww… ::runs back up:: I can do it! I can do it! ::slips and slides down:: SHIT! WHEE! Aww…

 

…and he continues that process… Later on at night… on the beach. They all gather around… Charles has a cookie, Cuong has nothing, and Khoi has a… turkey sandwich????

 

Charles: Umm… Khoi… where’d you get that?

 

Khoi: Where’d you get that?! ::points to the cookie::

 

Charles: I got it from that cat for cutting down trees…

 

Khoi: Oh… I got this from a turkey.

 

Charles: …

 

Cuong: …

 

Neko-chan: Well… it seems that you guys tried hard today… try harder tomorrow…

 

Cuong: But… but… but… me so hungy…

 

Charles: I only got a cookie…

 

Cuong: YOU ONLY WEIGH 100 POUNDS! I WEIGH LIKE 270!

 

Khoi: And I have a turkey sandwich! OooOOOooh!

 

Charles and Cuong tackle Khoi and start beating him up.

 

Charles: By the way… what type of training are you doing?

 

Khoi: Who? Me?… umm… Well… I tried to stuff neko-chan up my ass…

 

Neko-chan spits out the water he was drinking.

 

Neko-chan: DON’T FUCKING TELL THAT TO PEOPLE!

 

Khoi: Geez… you know you liked it…

 

Cuong: Me still hungy… where fatty get food?

 

Khoi: Umm… oooOOOooh?

 

Cuong tackles Khoi…

 

Cuong: THAT’S NOT A FUCKING ANSWER!

 

Khoi: ::with Cuong on top of him:: WOW! SO FORWARD! FINALLY! MY DREAM HAS COME TRUE! OooOOOoooh!

 

Cuong: ::automatically gets off:: Me getting hungy… ::stares at Charles… and sees a salsa cup:: ::stares at Khoi… and sees a big hamburger::

 

Big hamburger: Umm… stop staring at me you pervert! OooOOOooh!

 

10 seconds later.

 

Khoi: AHHH! GET HIM OFF! GET HIM OFF!… wait… that kind of feels good… oooOOOooh!

 

The next day…

 

Neko-chan: Okay… go off and do your daily tasks…

 

Cuong: ::stomach growls:: I feel like I’m going to die…

 

Charles: …I only had a cookie…

 

Khoi: I’m full!

 

At Charles’ training ground…

 

Charles: Damn bamboo!

 

(Joe Note: I’m hungry… from all this hungry talk… I’m going to go buy some food… brb….)

 

(Joe note: Back…dude… it was so cold outside… fucking had to run to freaking wendy’s…)

 

Charles: Sigh… better work on getting my cookie…

 

Neko-chan appears.

 

Neko-chan: Oh… you’re not cutting down those trees anymore… follow me…

 

Charles: Huh?

 

Neko-Chan leads Charles to a bunch of trees that are thick at the bottom, but skinny at the top.

 

Neko-chan: Cut these down…

 

Charles: Okay… ::lights up two of his fingers, and chops at the tree… it only leaves a deep cut, but doesn’t cut it down:: …AHHH!

 

Neko-chan: Geez… stop screaming like a girl… I want you to cut down fifty of these trees…

 

Charles: …seriously?

 

Neko-chan: Yes…

 

Charles: ::looking up and down at the tree:: Okay… ::points his palm at the skinny part of the tree high off the ground:: ::a blast of light fires out at the skinny part and rips off the tree:: Is that okay?

 

Neko-chan: ::thinking:: He realized that he had to use the paper technique to knock these trees down… the bottom is too thick to be cut regularly… and the slant upwards will make his rock attack go down, but not bring the tree down… So he attacked the higher skinny point with the paper technique… And yet he can’t cut down those bamboo trees…

 

Charles: Hello?… Is this okay?

 

Neko-chan: yes. That’s fine… time to check up on the other retards…

 

Charles: …wait… what?

 

Neko-chan: I mean… time to check up on the other students… ::shifts eyes:: You heard me bitch… ::runs off::

 

Charles: …

 

At Cuong’s training grounds.

 

Cuong: …Sigh… ::sliding down the mountain again:: …If only… If only I had some sort of shadow power… ::thinks:: …oh… whoops… ::stands up as shadows circle him, Cuong jumps up and spins, turning into a human shadow spinning drill thingy… that is ripping up the mountain::

 

Cuong: ::thinking:: I see… It’s like how you screw in a screw into a hole… urr… that a screw goes into. You spin it…. And it goes in… This is the same concept! This way, I can climb the mountain… oh shit… getting tired… ::reaches the top:: HA! I DID IT! ::shadows disperse as he jumps on top of the mountain:: Now then! Time to go down! And repeat! ::shadows surround him and he does the same technique downwards… he’s going way too fast… and hits the ground head first::

 

Neko-chan: EESH! ::covers eyes:: Doesn’t he get it?… While going down… you have to spin the other direction… If you spin the same way as you did going up… You’re going to go too fast. Going down is a matter of controlling the technique, going up is to up the destructive power of it.

 

Cuong gets back up holding his head.

 

Cuong: Ouchies… Okay… I can do it! FOR FOOD FOR TUBBY!

 

Neko-chan: Geez…

 

Cuong reaches the top and crashes into the ground again.

 

Cuong: Ow… this is harder than I thought… the stone I have to rip through is hindering me… I’m tired…

 

Neko-chan appears.

 

Neko-chan: Good job, tubby… Now then… I’ll give you food for today…

 

Cuong: REALLY?! Finally!

 

Neko-chan: Yeah… but tomorrow, you’re going to try a variation of this training method. I want you to climb the mountain in a zig zag motion, instead of going straight up.

 

Cuong: ::thinks:: …THAT MEANS I HAVE TO DO MY TECHNIQUE FOR LONGER!

 

Neko-chan: Several times longer to be precise…

 

Cuong: … ::face expression turns to shit::

 

Neko-chan: Yeah… so rest now… while you can.

 

Cuong: I HATE YOU! FREAKING CAT! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! NOBODY MAKES TUBBY WORK! NOBODY!

 

Neko-chan is gone…

 

Cuong: … ::wind blows by:: I’m cold and I’m lonely…

 

Meanwhile… Khoi is sitting down by himself thinking.

 

Khoi: hm… how did I go berserk last time?…

 

Jason: We got stomped on by a giant robot dog.

 

Khoi: oh! OKAY! YOU ORDER THE ROBOT DOG JASON! I’LL GET STEPPED ON! OooOOOooh!

 

Jason: …idiot. I’m saying… maybe a dangerous situation brought it out…

 

Khoi: …You mean situations where someone might do something to my butt?

 

Jason: …sigh… yes Khoi… your butt… whatever…

 

Neko-chan is watching Khoi from behind a tree.

 

Neko-chan: Fool… well… time to check on… her… ::goes off to a secluded part of the island::

 

At the secluded part of the island. Some girl is doing the bamboo kicking technique of Charles, except she’s knocking them down.

 

Neko-chan: So… I see you’re doing well…

 

??????: Yeah…

 

Neko-chan: Your scars have healed up… That’s good.

 

??????: Whatever…

 

Neko-chan: …I was surprised when I saw your powers… very similar to that fag’s…

 

??????: I guess…

 

Neko-chan: …I have to ask… why’d you come here… after all… aren’t you on the other side?

 

??????: …I’m not on any side… that person… I was her… She was me… I was her life.

 

Neko-chan: Oh well… at least you’re hot!

 

Ecstasy: …whatever… Well… I don’t like getting fucked around with…

 

Neko-chan: …You saw them too… right?… When they fought Jason.

 

Ecstasy: Beta Y and Meta X?… Yes… I saw them.

 

Neko-chan: Who did they remind you of?

 

Ecstasy: …Their fighting styles… were like Deity and Joe… but they weren’t them

 

Neko-chan: Yeah… They weren’t. I have all the memories of Jason because I’ve been in him for so long… so I would know… Could they have been cloned or something?

 

Ecstasy: ::kicking down another bamboo tree:: No… not even that company has the power to do that.

 

Neko-chan: …What is this company?

 

Ecstasy: N.O.D.A.T.S.S.T.U.P.I.D. … That’s their name… Don’t ask me what it means because I don’t know…

 

Neko-chan: I see… You and Deity split… I wonder how that happened…

 

Ecstasy: …I don’t know…

 

Neko-chan: Okay… one more question… do you still have it?…

 

Ecstasy: …I know what you’re talking about… and the answer is yes… ::something bright is illuminating her face:: ::she brings up her hand which has the ryuusei in it:: I still have the ryuusei.

 

Neko-chan: Well… ::takes out a cigarette and lights it up:: I know why you split.

 

Ecstasy: …

 

Neko-chan: You have too much power in you… You can only have one… When Deity took the ryuusei… it pushed you out.

 

Ecstasy: …I see… these powers… ::looks at the ryuusei:: Cannot coexist in the same body… ::her hand is burning a little, she turns off the ryuusei::

 

Neko-chan: Your body’s not meant to hold the blue flame… but the reason I asked you about Meta X and Beta Y… ::turns around:: If Deity and Joe died… you would have ceased to exist…

 

Ecstasy: ::looks up surprised::

 

Neko-chan: If Joe died… his blue flame would have died out anywhere it was… if Deity died… you are basically linked to her soul… so you would be gone too… ::puffs out some smoke:: I don’t know… but they’re probably alive somewhere…

 

Ecstasy: …impossible… Meta X and Beta Y are… ::a sweatdrop trickles down the side of Ecstasy’s face::

 

Neko-chan: …who knows… wind and electricity were not their powers… but that guy named Meta X… also has the blue flame… So he can’t be Joe… since Joe’s flame is with you.

 

Ecstasy: …what about beta Y?

 

Neko-chan: When you told me about Beta Y and Meta X and their powers… I thought they weren’t Joe and Deity… because Beta Y uses wind… However… I don’t know what to think anymore.

 

Ecstasy: …This can be a mistake though… maybe I’m just alive for some mysterious reason… like ufo’s…

 

Neko-chan: umm… yeah… whatever. As long as that Ryuusei lives on though… It seems… that they are alive somewhere.

 

Ecstasy: …Shouldn’t you be telling this to those fags?

 

Neko-chan: No… they have better things to do right now… I haven’t even told them about you…

 

Ecstasy: …

 

Neko-chan: I’m surprised though… that that guy named Joule just let you do whatever you want…

 

Ecstasy: …He’s changed… He’s weird now…

 

Neko-chan: …You like him?

 

Ecstasy: …That’s none of your business…

 

Neko-chan: Meta X… Beta Y… those 3 fag’s biggest fight does not lie with Kevin… it lies with those two…

 

Ecstasy: ::looks away:: …Those four…

 

Neko-chan: huh?…

 

Ecstasy: when I was recovered by N.O.D.A.T.S.S.T.U.P.I.D. … They had created three new projects… to be put under the command of Joule… Beta Y, Meta X, and Alpha Z… So, four including Joule…

 

Neko-chan: :[pic]: Alpha Z?

 

Estasy: ::kicks down five bamboo trees at once:: I don’t know much about her powers… but… she’s three times more powerful than Meta X or Beta Y…

 

Neko-chan: …three times…

 

Ecstasy: …when the time comes… ::makes a fist:: I’ll help you guys… fight them…

 

Neko-chan: eh?

 

Ecstasy: I have to find out the truth… Is Deity really alive?…

 

Neko-chan: umm… okay… what the fuck… that tips the odds in our favor anyways… so… it’s pimply fag, multiple personality fag, dark fag, light fag, hot… girl… versus fire guy, electric fire guy, wind girl, and …Alpha whatever… five on four…

 

Ecstasy: …I guess so.

 

Neko-chan: ::sighs:: This storyline has just gotten really complicated…

 

Ecstasy: yeah…

 

Back with Charles… and the bamboo trees…

 

Charles: ::getting pissed off as a bamboo tree comes back up:: OH MY GOD! ::points to the bamboo tree:: STAY DOWN! STAY DOWN! WHY WON’T YOU STAY DOWN?! OH MY GOD!

 

Charles kicks the tree again… and it rips off cleanly…

 

Charles: Eh?… ::stares blankly:: …I did it… I DID IT! I DID IT! How’d I do it?… ::sits down confused::

 

Meanwhile, Cuong is lying on the beach.

 

Cuong: Sigh… a looser like me shouldn’t be on the beach… under any circumstances… I’d rather be in a dark room listening to rock music…

 

Cuong sighs deeply…

 

Cuong: All this fresh air can’t be good for my pimples…

 

A large shadow appears over Cuong.

 

Cuong: Umm… and now there’s a very large shadow on top of me.

 

The shadow splits into two and begin to motion something.

 

Cuong: Umm… I don’t get it.

 

The shadow figures bow their heads and shake them… the shadows split up into letters.

 

Cuong: …that’s pretty hard to read…

 

They make it larger… it says Interdimensional slash technique.

 

Cuong: Interdimensional slash technique?

 

The shadows spell out “Yes, moron.”

 

Cuong: WHO ARE YOU CALLING MORON?! I’LL KILL YOU!

 

The shadows disappear.

 

Cuong: …Yeah… you better run… what the hell is an interdimensional slash?… bah!

 

Meanwhile with Charles… again…

 

Charles: ::rubbing chin:: How’d I do it?… hmm… lemme think… ::squints eyes like an asian:: I can’t think with these glasses on! ::takes off the glasses and his eyes widen:: …Whoa…

 

Charles’ eyes are illuminating where all the light is…

 

Charles: umm… what’s going on?… I can see the light… and even the slightest movements in it… ::looks over at the bamboo trees:: …AHHH!! THERE! THERE IT IS! I CAN SEE IT!

 

On the bamboo trees… there’s light going through a single point in them… as if there’s many small holes punctured in a part of them.

 

Charles: ::stands up:: I see… where the light is able to get through… is the weakest part of the tree… ::spins twice and kicks that spot, the tree gets knocked down:: Ha! I can see it! The first time was luck! But now it’s easy! This… seeing everything in light thing will come in handy… ::rubs eyes:: Now they hurt… ::puts his glasses back on:: How come I never noticed that before?…

 

Back with Khoi…

 

Khoi: ::standing on top of the mountain where Cuong was training:: If I jump down from here… it’s a dangerous situation… right?! OooOOOooh!

 

Jason: ….Wait! hold on a minute here! Think about this carefully!

 

Khoi: Here I go! WHEE! I CAN FLY!

 

Jason: NOOOOOOOOO!!!

 

Khoi: Ha! Scared you huh? I’m not that stoOpid to jump off… pff… now let’s get out of here… ::walks off the edge:: Whoops?… ::falling::

 

Jason: You idiot!

 

Khoi: Don’t worry! I’ll fly to safety! ::flaps wings uselessly::

 

Jason: Oh my gosh… we’re going to die…

 

Red light surrounds Khoi… and he transforms into Jason…

 

Jason: What the?… ::eyes and hair start turning red::

 

Khoi: Umm… are you feeling like… you’re being taken over by some killing thing yet?

 

Jason: Nope… but… umm… my hair and eyes are turning red…

 

Khoi: Umm… how can you tell?

 

Jason: ::about to hit the ground:: I’m not sure… ::makes a lethal 8 at the ground… it starts slowing them down, he lands safely::

 

Khoi: This energy feels good… like masturbating!

 

Jason: uhh… yeah……not only that… my senses… are heightened… I can hear Charles breathing like a girl… and Cuong humming some stupid song…… wait a minute… ::looks over in a random direction:: There’s another person on this island… a girl… sounds like she’s hot…

 

Khoi: Huh?…

 

Jason: I don’t know… but… for some reason… I’m not going crazy like last time…

 

Khoi: Umm… you don’t have wings like last time…

 

Jason: …yeah… or that really weird voice…

 

Khoi:and you didn’t haver that sexy tattoo on your arm.oooOOOooh!

 

Jason: Huh? ::looks at his arm, there’s a tattoo of a pair of folded angel wings on his arm:: What is this? ::The wings get absorbed into his skin and disappear:: ::three words run across in Jason’s mind:: …did you read that Khoi?

 

Khoi: Umm… did it say free hot dogs?…

 

Jason: No… it said… Trance… Heavenly Berserker… ::Jason transforms back into his regular form:: Huh? It’s gone…

 

Khoi: umm… I didn’t hear what you said… what were those three words?…

 

Jason: ::sighs:: Trance… Heavenly Berserker…

 

The pair of folded wings appear on the back of Jason’s hand this time, instead of his arm, his hair and eyes turn red again.

 

Jason: Huh?! It’s back again…

 

Khoi: umm… judging from all these cartoons I watched… I think you have to say those words to transform… Who said that? OooOOOooh! We already mastered tranceformation!

 

Jason: But I don’t understand… ::Looks at the back of his hand, where the wings are:: What makes this different than the last time when I went crazy?

 

Jason suddenly powers down again.

 

Jason: Eh? Only for that long?…

 

Khoi: …umm… you’re a premature ejaculator?…

 

Jason: What?!

 

Khoi: Umm… Who said that?

 

Jason: Whatever… but there must be a reason for this…

 

Khoi: Who cares… we can do it… without that cat in our ass too…

 

Jason: hmm… that tattoo… of the pair of folded wings… ::wide eyes:: He’s holding us back…

 

Khoi: Huh? Who?

 

Jason: …I think Joe’s holding us back from going crazy…

 

Back when crazy Jason killed Joe…

 

Joe: Heh, what are you doing… idiot… ::grabs Jason’s arms, leaving some blood there::

 

Jason: …Just like back then… when he stopped us from killing Charles… He’s stopping us from going crazy now…

 

Khoi: umm… okay… I guess that makes sense…

 

Jason: …he gave us this seal… I’m positive of it now… I don’t think he did it on purpose… but… it just somehow happened…

 

Back to Neko-chan…

 

Neko-chan: ::feels something:: They… went berserk… but… they didn’t go mad… what’s going on? ::Looks off in that direction::

 

Charles and Cuong run up to Neko-chan.

 

Cuong: Some shadows were talking to me! MAKE THEM STOP!

 

Neko-chan: :[pic]: Huh?…

 

Charles: Why didn’t you tell me about my eyes?!

 

Neko-chan: :[pic]: Huh?…

 

Cuong: Some shadows made fun of me! And said gibberish!

 

Charles: My eyes can see everything closely in light!

 

Neko-chan: Wha?… ::thinks:: What the hell… talking with your own power… seeing where an element lies?… Nobody should be able to do that… who are these guys?…

 

Charles: I knocked down all the trees! GIVE ME FOOD!

 

Cuong: ME TOO!

 

Cuong and Charles start to shake Neko-chan.

 

Neko-chan: ::thinking while being shaked:: Only a couple days… yet… they’re… so powerful… They all have latent powers… strong ones… what’s going on?… a guy who can control a trance berserker form… a guy who can see where his element lies… and a guy who can talk to his own powers… what the fuck…

 

Cuong: Hey! GIVE US FOOD!

 

Charles: yeah! DO IT! DO IT NOW!

 

Ecstasy walks out from behind a tree.

 

Ecstasy: You guys… what the hell are you doing?

 

Cuong: …it’s…

 

Charles: Dead girl…

 

Cuong and Charles: ::screaming like girls:: IT’S A GHOST! AHHHHHHHHH!!!

 

Ecstasy: ::kicking both of them in the face:: I’M NOT A FREAKING GHOST! I’LL GHOST YOU!

 

Cuong: Deity! You’re alive!

 

Ecstasy: I’m not DEITY! I’M ECSTASY!

 

Cuong: …I’m still very attracted… to her super sexy powers…

 

Ecstasy: LOOK! SOMEHOW I GOT SPLIT FROM DEITY BEFORE SHE DIED! SO SHUT UP AND… what the fuck do you think you’re doing? ::annoyed look::

 

Charles: ::rubbing her butt:: Umm… making sure you’re alive…

 

Ten seconds later…

 

Charles: Oh well… at least it’s not as bad as what she would do to Joe…

 

Cuong: I guess…

 

Cuong and Charles are hanging upside down from a bamboo tree with bruises and black eyes with the lion under them.

 

Cuong: Do lions even live on islands?

 

Lion: ::shrug::

 

Back with Khoi…

 

Khoi: ::walking towards where the others are:: I can’t wait to tell the kitty that we raped him…

 

Jason: Yeah… he’ll be so surprised that we mastered… wait… what did you say?

 

Khoi: I mean… ::shifts eyes:: I can’t wait to tell the kitty we raped him…

 

Jason: Yeah…

 

Khoi: Umm… don’t look at me like that! Please don’t tell people how I live…

 

Jason: …shut up and walk faster fatty…

 

Khoi: yes, ma’am…

 

Jason: ugh…

 

Khoi finally reaches the beach area… and everybody’s around a bonfire… Khoi walks up.

 

Khoi: oooOOOooh! FIRE! WHEE! ::looks over at Ecstasy:: AHHHH!! GHOST GIRL! I’M SORRY I KILLED YOU! PLEASE DON’T DO THINGS WITH MY BUTT! I’M SO SENSITIVE THERE! I’M TOO YOUNG!

 

Ecstasy: Shut the fuck up and sit down…

 

Khoi: Yes sir… ::sits:: ::nudges Cuong:: Umm… I thought she was dead…

 

Cuong: That’s Ecstasy… she somehow got split from Deity…

 

Khoi: Oh… I get it… so… why isn’t she dead? ::shifts eyes::

 

Cuong: …Shut up…

 

Neko-chan: Anyways, you guys did good today… EXCEPT UGLY OVER THERE! ::points at Khoi::

 

Khoi: HEY! I MASTERED GOING BERSERK! IN YOUR FURRY FACE!… furry bastard…

 

Neko-chan: Ugh… whatever… Anyways… I’m sure you all know Ecstasy…

 

Ecstasy: You losers sleep fifty feet away from me, got it? Or your asses or mine.

 

Khoi: ::whispering to Charles:: See… she does want to do barbequeous things to my butt…

 

Cuong: …umm… you mean barbaric?

 

Khoi: …umm… ::shifts eyes:: Who said that?

 

Charles: …Yeah…

 

Neko-chan: Okay you guys…from now on… on top of the training you’re already doing… You’ll be sparring with your sparring partner…

 

Khoi: ::stands up:: YOU CAN’T MAKE ME SPAR WITH SOMEONE! I HAVE TO LOVE THE PERSON! I CAN’T JUST SPAR WITH ANYONE! I’M NOT THAT KIND OF GIRL! HMPH! ::turns away::

 

Neko-chan: …sparring is like practice fighting…

 

Khoi: …oh… ::sits back down:: Umm… Are you sure? Can’t I “spar” with Ecstasy? OooOOOooh!

 

Ecstasy: ::drops a brick on Khoi’s head:: No…

 

Neko-chan: Okay… I’m going to assign you your partners now…

 

Khoi: ::thinking:: Oh boy… I hope it’s Cuong… He has such big tits… not as nice as Ecstasy’s though…

 

Cuong: ::looking at Khoi, thinking:: Is he wearing eye shadow?… oh gosh please don’t let him be my partner… He’ll squeeze my sweet sweet ass all day…

 

Charles: ::smiling and nodding his head for some reason, thinking:: Oh yeah…

 

Ecstasy: ::thinking:: Can’t I just spar with that lion or something?… Do I have to touch one of these freaks?

 

Neko-chan: Hmm… I’m going to assign… Charles with Khoi, and Ecstasy with Cuong…

 

Charles: …ME WITH KHOI?!

 

Khoi: hee hee… hello “sparring buddy!” honk honk!

 

Charles: DON’T TOUCH ME!

 

Cuong: Umm… what’s your reason? Thank god…

 

Neko-chan: Well… I don’t know… I just thought it’d be pretty fucking hilarious… HAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

Cuong: Oh…

 

Ecstasy: Sigh… fine… at least I’m not with gay guy over there…

 

Khoi: Hahaha, yeah… stupid Charles…

 

Charles: DUDE! She’s talking about you!

 

Khoi: …oh… you don’t have to say it like it is…

 

Charles: ::goes and kneels by himself:: Oh my god… oh my god… oh my god…

 

Neko-chan: Anyways… yeah… We have a some more time here… so, we should make the most of it.

 

Khoi: Let’s duel!

 

Cuong: Okay…

 

Neko-chan: …Wait… How do you guys have your freaking cards?

 

Charles: Pff… that’s like asking how a Panda Bear has its stripes…

 

Neko-chan: …Panda bears don’t have stripes…

 

Charles: …umm… shut up!

 

Neko-chan: Oh boy…

 

Ecstasy: …You guys all suck…

 

Khoi: Shut up! Men are dueling here!

 

Ecstasy: …tch… I have better things to do… like train… seeya later… ::walks off::

 

Cuong: …she’s going to train alone… at night?… scary…

 

Khoi: I know…

 

Charles: Someone should go with her…

 

Khoi: Yup…

 

Cuong: Yup…

 

Charles: Yup… why are you guys staring at me?

 

Khoi: come on mr. Nightlight! Go keep her company!… or I’ll nuttap you! OooOOOooh! Who said that?

 

Charles: … ::looks scared:: But… it’s dark out there… and big… Cuong… You should go… You’re in tune with the dark.

 

Cuong: Yeah… but I’m smaller than you guys.

 

Khoi: He has a point…

 

Charles: Well… I’m smaller than Khoi!

 

Khoi: …Only because you’re viet…

 

Charles: YOU’RE VIET TOO!

 

Khoi: Shhh… do you want the whole world to hear?! OooOOOooh!

 

Charles: …

 

Neko-chan: You all go… you pussies… fucking retards… or no food for a month…

 

Khoi: you can’t tell us what to do! We’re indejapendent citizens! OooOOOooh!

 

Ten seconds later… Cuong, Charles, and Khoi are walking in the dark looking for Ecstasy in the jungle.

 

Charles: ::in the front, lighting the way with some light on his hand::

 

Khoi: I don’t want to be in back… ::in the back looking paranoid and scared:: the person in the back always dies! ::very scared sounding “oooOOOooh!”::

 

Cuong: Shut up… Geez… there’s nothing in this jungle but that one lion… who bugs the shit outta me.

 

Khoi: Okay…but if worst comes to worst… I’m going to throw you at them to be a sacrificial lamb Cuong… who said that? ::looks around idiotically::

 

Charles: Sigh… alone in the jungle with two guys… how much gayer can it get?

 

Khoi: Okay… everyone should take off their shirts and huddle together for body warmth…

 

Charles: …why?… oh why?…

 

Cuong: …Where’d she go?…

 

Khoi: This place looks a lot more different at night… oooOOOooh!

 

Suddenly, they see something move on top of a tree.

 

Cuong and Charles: ::screaming like girls:: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

 

Khoi: ::screaming like… umm…:: aaaaaaAAAAaaaaHHHHHHHHH!!!!

 

A Koala bear steps out… into Charles’ light.

 

Charles: Phew… just a koala bear…

 

Cuong: Aww… how kyooott…. Let’s eat it.

 

Charles: Yeah… what? No!

 

Khoi: Hey there, little guy!

 

A monkey comes and hugs the koala bear.

 

Khoi: Hee hee… they’re doing it…

 

Cuong: Aww… they’re friends…

 

The koala bear bites the monkeys head off, and starts to eat it…

 

Charles: …AHHHHHHHH!! ::running away::

 

Khoi: AHHHHHH!! ::running away… and keeping his butthole tight::

 

Cuong: ::standing and watching:: What?… he’s just eating………… whoa… ::shudders and walks off::

 

Cuong, Charles, and Khoi are still looking for Ecstasy…

 

Cuong: Man, it’s like… 2 am… I’m tired… let’s give up…

 

Charles: Yeah… I’m tired too…

 

Khoi: …gosh… we all smell pretty bad…… ::shifts eyes:: ::thinking:: Please don’t let them notice my smell… oooOOOooh! Who thought that?

 

Charles: Well… we haven’t taken any showers for a while…

 

Cuong: Hey… look over there… is that steam?

 

Charles: ::looks, look of excitement:: I’VE SEEN ENOUGH ANIME TO KNOW WHAT THAT IS! IT’S A FREAKING HOT SPRING!

 

Khoi: Really?… I wonder if there will be hot girls there… oooOOOooh?

 

Cuong: haha, nice one Khoi…

 

Khoi: no… I’m serious… ::makes struggling noises:: Why do people always think I’m kidding?!

 

They go over to the hot springs…

 

Cuong: Umm…

 

Charles: Umm…

 

Khoi: umm… why aren’t we going in?

 

Cuong: First of all… we’re all guys… Second of all, you’re Khoi… Third of all… Go over there…

 

Khoi: Aww…

 

Charles: Hey look… there’s four hot springs separated by bamboo trees… ::thinks:: Bamboo trees… hate them soooo much… LIKE THE SALSA CUPS THEY ARE!

 

Khoi: Okay… me and Cuong will take this one… Charles, you go over there.

 

Cuong: … ::socks Khoi in the stomach:: Everyone take their own… geez.

 

Cuong and Charles: ::looking at Khoi:: NO PEAKING! YOU FAG!

 

Khoi: Oh come on… would I really do that?!

 

Cuong and Charles: YES!

 

Khoi: …Geez… you guys know me too well… oooOOOooh…

 

Cuong, Charles, and Khoi all split up and get into one.

 

Cuong: Ah… nice and warm…

 

With Charles…

 

Charles: c4! BOOM! ::makes a big splash:: YOU SUNK MY BATTLESHIP!

 

With Khoi…

 

Khoi: Damn bamboo… I can’t see anything… oh wellz… ::sits in hot spring:: damn cat… not telling us about this… probably kept it all to himself…

 

Jason: Yeah… cause everybody knows that cats love water…

 

Khoi: Yupz…

 

Jason: …No, I was being sarcas… never mind…

 

Khoi: Sigh… ::changes position and leans his back against something:: Hmm… this stone is pretty soft…

 

Jason: Yeah…

 

Khoi: hmm… ::feels around the stone:: This stone feels really weird… What’s this weird bump?… Hey, there’s two of them…

 

There’s a hand rubbing Khoi’s chest…

 

Voice: What the fuck is this weird feeling thing?…

 

Both Voice and Khoi: THAT’S NOT MY HAND!

 

Khoi: AHHH! Pervert!

 

Ecstasy: you son of a bitch!

 

Ecstasy and Khoi both turn around.

 

Khoi: umm… oh my?

 

Ecstasy: ::looks down:: ::looks up and looks pissed:: you asshole…

 

At Charles’ hot spring.

 

Charles: lalalalalla… what’s that running here?… ::puts on his glasses:: …UGH!!!

 

Khoi runs by, being chased by Ecstasy who’s in a towel… but Khoi isn’t…

 

Charles: AHHH! MY EYES!! MY EYES!!! ::shoves his face underwater::

 

Khoi and Ecstasy run past Charles’ hot spring.

 

Khoi: AHHH!! DON’T TOUCH MY ASS!

 

Ecstasy: I’M GOING TO KILL YOU!!!!

 

Khoi: I didn’t do it on purpose!!! Umm… nice tits?!

 

Ecstasy: I’M GOING TO SHOVE YOUR FACE UP YOUR ASS!

 

Khoi: NOT THE ASS! ::runs even faster::

 

At Cuong’s hot spring…

 

Cuong: sigh… boring now… yet still smelly… I wonder if I’ll start hallucinating if I’m in here too long…

 

Khoi and Ecstasy run by Cuong.

 

Khoi: Not the ass!

 

Ecstasy: YOU SHIT! AT LEAST PUT ON A TOWEL!

 

Khoi: NO! I RUN BETTER NAKED!

 

They pass Cuong… Cuong stands up…

 

Cuong: ::blank look:: Okay… I think I’ve been in here long enough.

 

The next morning.

 

Charles: ::eyes have bandages over them::

 

Cuong: ::looking fine, but keeping his distance from Khoi::

 

Khoi: ::his face is somehow… nevermind::

 

Ecstasy: ::sitting across from them, still looking pissed::

 

Neko-chan: What the fuck happened to you guys? ::looks at Khoi:: OH MOTHERFUCKER! WHAT’S!! IS THAT YOUR FACE OR YOUR ASS?!

 

Khoi’s ass: A little bit of both…

 

Neko-chan: …well you guys look dirty… did I mention there’s some hot springs over there?

 

Charles: …I’m trying to forget… bouncy… bouncy… bouncy… bouncy… bouncy…

 

Ecstasy: I’m going to go train… and none of you fuckers come to follow me! ::points at Cuong:: YOU! I’LL MEET YOU LATER FOR OUR SPARRING MATCH! I’M STILL FUCKING PISSED AND I NEED TO GET MY RAGE GOING AGAINST SOMETHING!

 

Cuong: …umm… ::looks scared::

 

Khoi’s ass/face/something: Hee hee… it’s a bittersweet victory… in the life of Khoi… Now can someone get my face unmangled from my ass?…

 

Neko-chan: …I have a question… how’d you get your clothes on like that?

 

Khoi: ::shrugs:: internet?

 

Charles: I’m going to take the day off and try to forget everything that happened… ::gets into the fetal position and starts rocking back and forth::

 

Neko-chan: Sigh… fine… you and… buttface can get the day off… gosh… fix yourself…

 

Khoi’s ass/face/something: ::makes struggling noises:: What do you think I’ve been trying to do this whole time?! GEEZ.

 

Later at night… Cuong and Ecstasy return… Cuong is limping… has bandages around his head… a black eye… a cast on his arm… a sling… and big bruises all over his face.

 

Cuong: …Ow…

 

Ecstasy: ::barely a scratch:: I feel a ton better… thanks! ::smacks Cuong in the back, he gets flattened into the sand::

 

Cuong: ::voice muffled from the sand:: Don’t mention it…

 

Khoi has fixed himself… and Charles doesn’t have the bandages anymore.

 

Khoi: Well then… this day has been productive! WHEE!

 

Charles: …yes… I hope to never remember again… ::shudders::

 

Khoi: ::remembers the night before:: Ahhhh… good times… too bad it wasn’t Cuong…

 

Cuong: Huh?

 

Khoi: umm… nothing… ::shifts eyes:: Who said that?

 

Neko-chan arrives…

 

Neko-chan: Alright you guys… good… ::looks at Cuong:: god… anyways… I forgot to also mention… the hot springs aren’t normal ones… They can heal broken bones and anything in an hour. So… you should go up there…

 

Cuong: Okay… ::gets up on his crutch::

 

Ecstasy: Here! Let me escort you buddy! ::grabs Cuong by the stomach, and runs toward the hot springs… Cuong’s back cracks::

 

Cuong: No! It’s okay! Please don’t hurt me! ::crying::

 

Ecstasy Come on! The sooner you heal, the sooner we spar!

 

Cuong: ::cries even more::

 

Ecstasy: yes, yes… cry tears of joy…

 

Cuong: ::cries A LOT more:: ::turns his head at Charles and mouths the words “help me”::

 

Charles, Khoi, and Neko-chan watch as Cuong and Ecstasy go off.

 

Neko-chan: …yeah… umm… yeah…

 

Khoi: hee hee… Cuong’s getting beat up by a girl…

 

Charles: Yes… indeed…

 

(Joe Note: Freaking Charles…)

 

Charles gets up and walks away from the bonfire.

 

Charles: Well, I’m going to go take a walk.

 

Neko-chan: Really… wow… you’re not scared of the island anymore, good.

 

Charles: Umm… ::shifts eyes:: right… it’s just that I really need to go…

 

Neko-chan: …Yeah… okay… anyways…go to the west side of the island when you’re done… Your training with sleeping outside is over now… I’ll tell that other guy when he returns… there’s a cabin on the west side you guys can sleep in now.

 

Khoi: yay! No more having to touch Charles while he sleeps outside! OooOOOooh!

 

Charles: …wait… what did you say? Oh forget it… I really need to take a dump… ::runs off::

 

Later, Charles walks out from some trees and zips up his pants.

 

Charles: Ahhh… the exhilarating feeling of relief…

 

Charles sees a girl with a pretty old style dress and long curly black hair standing on the beach near him looking out at sea.

 

Charles: Umm… okay… ::walks over:: Excuse me… are you lost?

 

The girl turns around… She’s really pretty.

 

Charles: Hi… I’m Charles…

 

Girl with old dress: ::turns from Charles and looks back at sea again:: Is the sea going to come to port soon?

 

Charles: Heh?…

 

Girl with old dress: I’m waiting for ship 202… has it come in?

 

Charles: uhh…

 

(Joe note: Fuck… I’m writing this at 2 am… and what I’m writing is creeping the shit outta me… cause I’m all alone in this room right now…)

 

Girl with old dress: I believe that that ship is going to carry me back to England…

 

Charles: Oh yeah… that’s an English accent… I thought you were just trying to sound cool…

 

She has an English accent.

 

Girl with old dress: ::sigh:: I do miss England… it was such a good land…

 

Charles: Umm… how’d you get here?

 

Girl with old dress: hmm… I wonder that myself… ::takes out a pocket watch:: Oh my… look at the time… it seems my ship is running late… Well… it’s been nice talking to you sir… but I’ll have to wait for it later… good day… ::disappears::

 

Charles: ::looking freaked out and sweating:: UMMM… ::screams like a girl and runs away flailing his arms:: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! GHOST!!!!

 

Charles runs back to the bonfire place… but everybody’s already left for the cabin…

 

Charles: AHHHHHHH!!! WEST SIDE!! GOTTA GO TO THE WEST SIDE!!! GHOSTS!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! ::runs off to the cabin::

 

Ecstasy, Cuong, and Khoi come out from some trees… and see Charles run off… Ecstasy’s dressed in an old style dress.

 

Ecstasy: See… makeup does make you seem like a different person… and my speed has gotten much higher… He couldn’t even see me move away. I’m also a great actor…

 

Khoi: plus you scared the shit outta Charles… hahahahaha!

 

Cuong: TOO FUNNY! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

Khoi, Cuong, and Ecstasy start to laugh like crazy…

 

Ecstasy: HAHAHAHAHAHA! DID YOU SEE THE LOOK ON HIS FACE?!

 

Khoi: hahahaha! Yeah… he was so scared! Like a Charles! Hahahaha!

 

Ecstasy and Cuong stop laughing and point at something behind Khoi…

 

Cuong: ::scared look:: Umm… Khoi…

 

Ecstasy: …what is that?…

 

Khoi: oh come on… You think I’m going to fall for that?… Geez…

 

Cuong and Ecstasy run away screaming…

 

Khoi: Pff… trying to trick me… who do they think I am? Charles? ::turns around:: oooOOOooh!… who said… ::jaw drop::

 

There’s a small white girl standing in front of khoi, wearing an old English night gown and smiling… She’s also shining brightly…

 

Little girl: hee hee… want to play?

 

Khoi: …AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! ::runs away:: THE GHOST WILL DO THINGS TO MY BUTT!!! MY BUTT!!! MY BUTT!!!

 

The little girl disappears… and Charles comes out behind a tree laughing…

 

Charles: hahaha! Bastards… that’s what you get for tricking me!

 

Later, Cuong, Khoi, and Ecstasy are in the Cabin… which is one room with two bunk beds.

 

Cuong: …

 

Khoi: …

 

Ecstasy: Whatever… no little ghost girl scares me… psh… I’ll just beat the crap outta her…

 

Cuong: ::nervous laugh:: haha… yeah…

 

Khoi: …my butt…

 

Charles walks into the cabin…

 

Charles: Hi guys! ::smiling::

 

Ecstasy: I’m going to sleep… I get the top bunk on this side… You fags sleep on that side… Cuong, you sleep below me…

 

Cuong: Umm… do I have to?

 

Ecstasy: YES! WE’RE FREAKING PARTNERS!

 

Cuong: Okay!

 

Charles: ::looking at Khoi:: That means…

 

Khoi: Hey bunk buddy! OooOOOooh!

 

Charles: ::shudders::

 

Suddenly… there’s a loud knock on the door…

 

Charles: ::screaming like a girl:: AHHHHHHHHHH!!

 

Ecstasy: Shut up and open it!

 

Charles: Okay… ::opens the door::

 

There’s a mysterious figure in the doorway. Thunder clashes behind him.

 

Khoi: AHHHHHHH!! HE’LL DO THINGS TO MY ASS!

 

Cuong: Geez… you said that so many times in this installment…

 

The mysterious person walks in with a trenchcoat and a hat on.

 

Cuong: Umm…

 

Ecstasy: …

 

Charles: Who are you?

 

The mysterious person takes off the trenchcoat and hugs Charles.

 

Jon: I’VE MISSED YOU! ::sobs::

 

Charles smacks Japkid on the head.

 

Charles: DON’T TOUCH ME! HOW THE HELL ARE YOU HERE?! WEREN’T YOU IN THE HOSPITAL?!

 

Neko-chan walks in behind him.

 

Neko-chan: I brought him here… The hot springs cured his silence problem.

 

Jon: AND IT CLEARED UP MY FACE! ::his face is perfectly clean and it sparkles:: I’M SO OBNOXIOUSLY GOOD LOOKING!

 

Neko-chan: Yeah… basically… I gave him a key to this place right before I gave you guys ones… but he was a little late… basically in the time it took him to use the key… You guys had been here for a while…

 

Jon: yeah! And you guys were training without me… ::starts crying:: What do I mean to you?! Oh…. I see there’re only four beds… Fine… I’ll go sleep in the cold hard rain…

 

Cuong: First of all, it’s not raining, second of all, we had to go through a whole lot of shit… Why isn’t he doing the tests that we did?

 

Neko-chan: Well… I’m going to be doing one on one training with this guy with the time we have left here… so we’ll do the stuff as we’re going along.

 

Cuong: I see…

 

Jon: Plus! I HAVE A CLEAR FACE!! ::smiles and puts his face straight into Cuong’s:: LOOK AT IT! LOOK AT IT! THE CLEAR PERFECTION OF JAPKID! ::a pimple pops instantly on his face::

 

Cuong: …right…

 

Ecstasy: ::gets out of bed:: You can take this bed… I don’t need it…

 

Jon: No… no… no… I can’t let a lady sleep outside in the cold… ::throws Ecstasy a blanket:: Here you go! Thanks for the bed!

 

Ecstasy: Umm… yeah… See you guys tomorrow…

 

Ecstasy walks over to the beach and looks across the waters.

 

Ecstasy: ::remembers the cat telling her not to tell the other guys about Meta X and Beta Y:: Hmm… Deity… Joe… ::creates a ryuusei in her hand:: I wonder where you are now…

 

To be continued…

T.R.A.N.C.E.

 

10th Installment: Chaos Emperor Dragon

 

Jon is on the beach eating squid on a stick and singing some song…

 

Jon: Kanahii ii hodo… LALALALALALALA! SOMETHING SOMETHING SOMETHING! ITARI DASHITE! SOMETHING SOMETHING! TRUE LIGHT! SOMETHING!

 

Neko-chan: umm… yeah… so find the answers to the questions yet?

 

Jon: Umm… the island is bad because my pimples have returned very quickly… and there’s one too many cats on this island…

 

Neko-chan: ::smacks Jon:: YOU IDIOT! HURRY UP AND GIVE ME YOUR REAL ANSWER!

 

Jon: …that was my real answer…

 

Neko-chan: …oh fucking…

 

Meanwhile… with Cuong and Ecstasy…

 

Ecstasy: Okay… hurry up with your training so I can beat the crap out of you.

 

Cuong: Umm… okay… ::uses his technique to go up the mountain in a zig zag motion again::

 

Ecstasy: ::yawning::

 

Meanwhile… with Charles and Khoi…

 

Khoi: So… since we’re on an island… should I put on my g-string?

 

Charles: oh my god! FOR THE LAST TIME! NO! STOP ASKING ME!

 

Khoi: …fine… ladeedah…………………………… so… since we’re on an island… should I put on my g-string?

 

Charles: NO! NO! NO! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! WHY WON’T YOU SHUT UP!

 

Khoi: oooOOOooh!

 

Charles: ugh…

 

Meanwhile… back with Jon and neko-chan…

 

Neko-chan: What’s the true meaning of strength?

 

Jon: umm… being obnoxiously good-looking?

 

Neko-chan: NO! ::smacks forehead:: Are you even thinking about these questions?

 

Jon: umm… yes… do you want to see my violin scar? I got it from a violin.

 

Neko-chan: NO! I DON’T WANT TO SEE IT!

 

Jon: …geez… it’s not a hickey or anything… ::shifts eyes:: from Khoi… or Ru or anything…

 

Neko-chan: …You’re a sick bastard… sick and weird… and kinda mentally challenged… So… here. Let’s just skip this part… I think you already get it…

 

Jon: Get what?

 

Neko-chan: Sigh… just tell me what you want your technique to be like…

 

Jon: …hmm… I want to play like a master…

 

Neko-chan: NOT THE VIOLIN! YOUR POWERS!

 

Jon: oh… I throw cards… is there anything else to it?

 

Neko-chan: urr… umm… hmm… well… you can make other things sharp… not just cards.

 

Jon: yeah, but I can carry around a bunch of cards instead of say… carrying around a box of balls…

 

Neko-chan: Okay… just think… think of something that would be beneficial to use… if you were in a tight spot…

 

Jon: Pepper spray to get Ru off me.

 

Neko-chan: NO! NOT THAT TYPE OF SPOT!

 

Jon: …umm… Mashimaru doll? ::takes out the doll:: This doll is what makes me a true man!

 

Neko-chan: ugh… ::drops head down low::

 

Jon: Tee hee… I love you Mashimaru… ::Jon hugs and kisses the doll::

 

Neko-chan: Geez… you do know you have more powers than just to make things sharp…

 

Jon: Like what?

 

Neko-chan: I don’t know… think of something!

 

Jon puts his hand under his chin and thinks… he and Mashimaru are in a warehouse surrounded by hundreds of enemies… for some reason they’re all wearing aprons.

 

Jon: ::taking out violin gun:: DIE! EVIL!

 

Mashimaru: GET THEM JON! I’LL HANDLE THESE CLOWNS!

 

Jon: hahaha, with my violin gun of terror! Nobody can stop me! ::Jon’s muscles rip his shirt apart::

 

Mashimaru: DAMN JON! HOW YOU BE SO SEXY!

 

Jon: I just am… ::swings back hair:: ::pompous laugh:: HA HA HA HA HA!

 

Several supermodels come and cling onto Jon…

 

Supermodel #1: Ooooh… Jon…

 

Supermodel #2: I love how your skin is clear and pimple free…

 

Mashimaru: ::with cell phone:: Jon! It’s every girl from Sunny Hills, they all want a date with you tomorrow!

 

Jon: HA! DO THEY THINK THEY CAN BE SO LUCKY?!

 

Jon, Mashimaru, and the supermodels: HA HA HA HA HA!

 

Back to Reality… Neko-chan is waving his paw in front of Jon’s glazed eyes.

 

Neko-chan: hello? Anybody home? HEY FUCKTARD!

 

Jon: ::startled:: OH! Where’s mashimaru?

 

Neko-chan: Umm… anyways… what’s the power you’ve created?

 

Jon: How about… looking extremely handsome?

 

Neko-chan: uhh… no…

 

Jon: How about turning things like stone… into… ::shifts eyes:: stronger stone?

 

Neko-chan: Uhh… no…

 

Jon: How about turning cats into… pure gold?

 

Neko-chan: Uhh… no…

 

Jon: How about… blue flame?

 

Neko-chan: uhh… no…

 

Jon: How about… super suave powers?

 

Neko-chan: No… sigh… fucking… here… ::hands Jon a piece of steel:: THIS will be your power.

 

Jon: …Umm… okay?

 

Back with Charles and Khoi…

 

Khoi: you know… I always wonder what would happen if I did a crazy 8 with shurikens…

 

Charles: I don’t know… aren’t we supposed to be sparring?

 

Khoi: Aren’t YOU supposed to be sparring? OooOOOooh!

 

Charles: ::puts his head in his hands:: Sigh…

 

Khoi: ADMIT IT WOMAN! YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE SPARRING!

 

Charles: I’M NOT A WOMAN!

 

Khoi: Yes… ::shifts eyes:: yet…

 

Charles: …wait… what?

 

Khoi: Oh I’m sorry… ::shifts eyes:: yet…

 

Charles: Huh?

 

Khoi: ::makes struggling noises:: CAN’T YOU UNDERSTAND VIET?!

 

Charles: …you’re speaking English…

 

Khoi: oooOOOooh?

 

Charles: … ::moans::

 

Khoi: Don’t moan like that… you’re too sexy when you do that! OooOOOooh! BOING!

 

Charles: uhh… what was that “boing” for?

 

Khoi: ::shifts eyes:: Umm… who said that?

 

Charles: You did!

 

Khoi: Umm… or did I? OooOOOooh! Who said that? I mean… ::shifts eyes:: Who said that?

 

Charles: …

 

Khoi: …don’t look at me like that young lady… you’re too sexy when you look at me like that! OooOOOooh!

 

Charles: … ::shudders:: Let’s just do spar right now…

 

Khoi: ::slaps Charles hard:: ON THE FIRST DATE?! I HAVE SOME SELF-RESPECT! OooOOOooH!

 

Charles: ::grabbing cheek:: YOU BASTARD! THIS ISN’T A DATE! YOU DON’T HAVE ANY SELF RESPECT! AND SPAR MEANS TO PLAY FIGHT!

 

Khoi: ::slaps Charles again::

 

Charles: What was that for?!

 

Khoi: Iono… umm… oooOOOooh?

 

Charles: …

 

Khoi: By the way… I wonder what would happen if I touched Charles’ ass…

 

Charles: I AM CHARLES!

 

Khoi: … ::startled:: CHARLES?! OH MY!… when did you get here?… ::shifts eyes::

 

Charles: … ::goes into the bushes… loud screams are heard::

 

Khoi: Hee hee… he must be masturbating…

 

More loud screams are heard… Back with Cuong and Ecstasy…

 

Ecstasy: …Isn’t your training done for today?

 

Cuong: ::still going up and down the mountain:: NO!

 

Ecstasy: Come on… it’s getting late… we have to spar soon.

 

Cuong: BUT I’M NOT DONE YET! GEEZ!

 

Ecstasy: … ::jumps forward, propels herself with her arms to spin upside down in the air… and kick the mountain side::

 

Cuong: … ::the mountain starts to shake… and big rocks start to fall down::

 

Ecstasy: This can be training too! ::starts to break all the boulders coming down at her with her bare hands::

 

Cuong: ::breaking all the boulders coming down at him with shadows:: AHHH!! YOU’RE CRAZY!

 

That night… Charles, Khoi, Cuong, Ecstasy, and Jon are in the cabin exhausted… well… except for Khoi and Ecstasy.

 

Khoi: oooOOOooh…

 

Charles: Khoi… don’t you have daily excersises? That cat is making me knock down 100 bamboo trees… fifty thin wood trees… and fifty trees that are fat at the bottom but skinny at the top.

 

Khoi: I think YOU’RE fat at the bottom and skinny at the top!

 

Charles: …

 

Cuong: ::sweating like crazy:: Jon… what are your daily excersises?

 

Jon: Huh? Excersises? ::sweating a lot:: What excersises? All I do is this all day! ::takes out a piece of steel and holds it in his hand:: See… it’s fun… but hard work…

 

Charles: …

 

Cuong: …

 

Khoi: oooOOOooh?

 

Ecstasy: …yes… whatever…

 

Cuong: Umm… that cat’s making me go up and down the mountain in a SIDEWAYS motion now… like pacman… left… then up… then right… then up… then left… until I reach the top… Sigh…

 

Ecstasy: yeah… and then the stone things! Hahahahahaha! ::eviler laugh:: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

Khoi: hahaha… so why are we laughing? OooOOOooh?

 

Charles: Khoi… what did you even do today?

 

Khoi: Umm… well first… I… LOOK OVER THERE!

 

Nobody looks…

 

Khoi: hee hee… ::runs away as they watch him go out the door::

 

Charles: umm…

 

Khoi transforms into Jason and runs into the forest…

 

Jason: Trance… heavenly berserker… ::eyes and hair turn red… glowing tattoo of folded wings appear on the back of his right hand:: ::turns to the mountain:: HEAVENLY 8! ::spins hands really rapidly… a ball of red energy forms in the middle of the crazy 8, red energy is only coming off of it at random moments like lightning:: :: he hits the mountain with it… leaving a large crack in it::

 

Khoi: Heavenly 8! WHEE! No more lethal 8 with random sexy energy pouring out! Now only a spinning ball of energy!!! OooOOOooh!

 

Jason: Umm… yeah… it is an improvement over the lethal 8. Plus… it’s sexy! ::takes out a rose:: When you can smell the morning dew… you know that Jason was there…

 

Khoi: Eww… shut up! You perv!

 

Jason: …gosh… ::turns back into regular Jason:: It seems our time in berserker form is limited… we’ve improved the time from 30 seconds to two minutes… but still… I don’t think it’s enough…

 

Khoi: I don’t think YOU’RE enough!

 

Jason: …right…

 

Neko-chan pops in…

 

Neko-chan: Impressive… you can control it now….

 

Jason: yeah… I guess so… and we didn’t need you!

 

Neko-chan: Whatever… anyways… you’re the first person ever to succeed in controlling it… congratulations… However… ::looks serious:: You will need me to unlock your full potential in that form.

 

Jason: Huh?

 

Neko-chan: You’ll understand when the time comes…

 

Khoi: …psst… Jason… I think he likes us…

 

Jason: ::watches as Neko-chan walks away::

 

The next day… everyone is gathered on the beach.

 

Neko-chan: Well guys… time’s running short… We have about a week left… So, go do your excersises and sparring now… fuck! DO IT! WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT?!

 

Charles is in the forest… and has just knocked down all the trees.

 

Charles: Sigh… finally…

 

Neko-chan: Hmm… it seems that this is too easy for you…

 

Charles: Yeah…

 

Neko-chan: Come with me…

 

Neko-chan leads Charles to a part of the island with huge redwood trees.

 

Neko-chan: These trees are older than anything else you have ever seen… and as such… they have had time to grow and grow and grow… from the mystical water of the island.

 

Charles: ::staring wide eyed at the huge trees:: You don’t want me to… cut these down do you?…

 

Neko-chan: ::smiles evilly: Yes… from this point on… you don’t need to cut down those smaller trees… All you need to fucking do is cut down 200 of these trees every day.

 

Charles: …

 

Neko-chan: These trees grow overnight even if you cut them down… so… you’ll never run out of them…

 

The tree is 50 times thicker than Khoi and is so high into the sky that you can’t see the top.

 

Charles: …You’re kidding me… 200… ::lights up two fingers on each hand and chops at it… it only leaves a light scratch:: …AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

 

Neko-chan: Well then… I’ll be going now! ::smiles and runs off::

 

Charles: …umm… ::spins twice in the air and kicks it… grabs his leg as he falls to the ground:: owie! Owie! Owie! Owie!

 

Neko-chan goes over to Cuong who has just finished climbing the mountain… the mountain side is really rough now.

 

Neko-chan: Nicely done…

 

Cuong: Thanks… phew… I think I’ve mastered the technique now…

 

Neko-chan: Umm… I don’t think so… ::smiles evilly::

 

Cuong: …what?…

 

Neko-chan: from now on… you don’t climb the mountain… you use your technique to circle the island… 1000 times a day.

 

Cuong: ……………… ::jaw drop::

 

Neko-chan: Yup yup… ::smiles and runs off::

 

Cuong: …cold… bitter… silence…

 

With Jon…

 

Jon: ::throwing cards at trees and cutting them down:: YAY!

 

Neko-chan: umm… did you get your technique to work yet?

 

Jon: Umm… I got this one to work… ::throws three cards in the air… they fly around in whichever direction Jon wants them to:: WHEE! FLY! FLY MY MINIONS! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

Neko-chan: …shut the fuck up… okay… what about your ace technique?

 

Jon: Umm… ::sticks out hand… a black gravity field begins to spark up… but disappears:: I’m still working on it… but it can do this much to the steel! ::takes out the steel… which is partially in small chunks::

 

Neko-chan: yeah… keep on working… OR NO FOOD FOR YOU! ::runs off::

 

Jon: …Well! YOU’RE NOT INVITED TO MY BIRTHDAY PARTY!

 

With Ecstasy…

 

Ecstasy: ::sitting down on the beach::

 

Neko-chan: umm… carry on…

 

With Khoi…

 

Neko-chan: …umm… what are you doing?

 

Khoi: ::on top of a tree:: I’m putting myself in danger! WHEE!

 

Neko-chan: …I’m not even going to touch this one…

 

Neko-chan runs off… back to Charles.

 

Charles: Hmm… ::sitting down looking at the tree:: so fucking big… ::gets up and starts to gather light energy to his fist:: ::his fist now is shining really brightly::

 

Charles hits the tree with it. It leaves a large dent… but that’s it.

 

Charles: hmm… umm… OH MY GAWD!

 

Suddenly… a scroll falls from the way top of the tree and lands on Charles’ head.

 

Charles: …what?! WHO DID THAT?! OOOOOOOOH!

 

Off in the distance…

 

Khoi: oooOOOooh!

 

Back to Charles.

 

Charles: Hmm… ::opens the scroll and looks at it:: …it’s gibberish… ::there’s pictures of figures doing fighting moves… but the writing is in gibberish::

 

Back to Cuong…

 

Cuong: go around the island using the technique? Seems simple enough… ::sits down:: But I have to create a cool name for my technique though… ::a scroll falls on Cuong’s head from out of nowhere:: Umm… who the fuck did that?

 

Cuong opens up the scroll… there’s writing, but no pictures.

 

Cuong: Umm… interdimensional slash?… AGAIN! WHERE DID THIS COME FROM?!

 

Back to Jon… a scroll falls on his head.

 

Jon: Hmm? ::opens up the scroll::

 

Dear Jon,

I love you… parts of you… oooOOOooh!

From,

Khoi

 

Jon: Huh?…

 

Later that day at the Cabin… Khoi and Ecstasy and Jon are eating a pizza… while Cuong and Charles are on the floor.

 

Cuong: I wonder where this scroll came from…

 

Charles: I wonder where this scroll came from…

 

Jon: STOP GIVING ME SCROLLS KHOI!

 

Khoi: oooOOOooh!

 

Charles and Cuong look at each other… then sit up and take out their scrolls.

 

Cuong: Mine has writing…

 

Charles: Mine has figures!

 

Cuong: Maybe these two scrolls give us some sort of super technique!

 

Cuong and Charles rub their chins and imagine…

 

Charles: GO CHAOS EMPEROR DRAGON!

 

Cuong: GO BLACK LUSTER SOLDIER!

 

Khoi: GO HONEYBUN! OooOOOooh!

 

Charles and Cuong shake their heads.

 

Charles: Okay! Let’s do it!

 

Khoi: ::suddenly excited:: DO WHAT?! WHAT ARE YOU GUYS GOING TO DO TOGETHER?! CAN I WATCH?!

 

Cuong: We’re not doing that! You sicko!

 

Cuong and Charles go out to the beach.

 

Charles: Okay… in this figure… the two figures look like they’re doing this type of position…

 

Cuong: My scroll says to get into a low stance?… and call upon my shadow energy?…

 

Cuong and Charles shrug…

 

Cuong: I guess we… try it…

 

Ten seconds later…

 

Cuong: umm… are you sure this is right?

 

Charles: Shut up. It’s what the scrolls said to do…

 

Cuong is on top of Charles with a blanket of shadow over them.

 

Cuong: This position is so…

 

Charles: Don’t say it!

 

Khoi walks by…

 

Khoi: ::doing a doubletake:: AWWW…! YOU SAID YOU WEREN’T GOING TO DO IT! AND ON THE BEACH! ::makes struggling noises:: ::gives up and looks sad:: Fine! I can see I’m not wanted here… ::sits down and stares at Cuong and Charles::

 

Cuong: …Aren’t you going to leave? We’re trying to summon the chaos emperor dragon.

 

Khoi: Umm… I don’t think you do that by having sex…

 

Charles: ONE WE’RE NOT DOING IT! TWO WE ARE GUYS!

 

Khoi: ::shrugs:: So?

 

Cuong: …

 

Charles: …

 

Cuong: Um… let’s get out of this position…

 

Charles: yeah…

 

Khoi: Wait… ::takes out camera and takes a picture:: Now you can get out! ::runs off:: oooOOOooh!

 

Charles: No! IF CARD GIRL SEES THAT! MY LOVE LIFE WILL BE OVER!!!

 

Cuong: Huh?

 

Charles: Well… not really… but whatever… COME BACK HERE! ::trips… glasses fall off::

 

Charles’ face lands right in front of his scroll.

 

Charles: Umm… Cuong…

 

Cuong: yeah?

 

Charles: I think we made a mistake…

 

Cuong: Why?

 

Charles: mine does have writing on it…

 

Cuong: …oh…

 

Charles grabs his scroll and goes into the forest…

 

Cuong: CALL ME!

 

Back with Charles.

 

Charles: This scroll is written in some sort of light pen… or something…

 

(Joe note: yes… “light pen”… whatever…)

 

Charles: … ::reading a word off there:: Janken?…

 

Cuong is in the cabin on his bed looking at his scroll…

 

Cuong: Hmm… bah! ::throws it in a fire:: Who needs some interdimensional slash thing?

 

The next morning… Khoi and Charles are on the beach.

 

Khoi: Um… why’d you call me out here?… oooOOOooh?

 

Charles: I want to…

 

Khoi: Go out with me?

 

Charles: NO! I want to fight you!

 

Khoi: Geez… so violent…

 

Charles: ::takes off his glasses and puts them in his pocket:: Before I do my daily chores… I want to fight you to see how much I’ve improved.

 

Khoi: Umm… is anything off limits?

 

Charles: No.

 

Khoi: not even touching your nuts?

 

Charles: ……………Okay… that’s off limits…

 

Khoi: Awww…

 

Charles: Well then… let’s go!

 

Khoi: umm… go where?

 

Charles: I mean! Let’s fight!

 

Khoi: Fight where?

 

Charles: Here!

 

Khoi: Here where?

 

Charles: DAMN YOU!

 

Khoi: Geez… I’m not the one asking all the questions….

 

Charles: Yes you are!

 

Khoi: Geez… you don’t have to say it like it is!

 

Cuong walks in…

 

Cuong: What’s all the ruckus?

 

Charles: I just need to test my powers on something…

 

Cuong: umm… if I spar with you… can I not spar with Ecstasy?

 

Charles: Uhh… yeah.

 

Cuong: …THEN LET’S GO!

 

Khoi: um… are you guys going to do it again?

 

Charles and Cuong: NO!

 

Khoi: oooOOOooh? So you did do it last night…

 

Charles: …I think we should leave Khoi here and find a more private place…

 

Cuong: yeah… he’s making me feel… awkward…

 

Khoi: …hee hee… you’re going to do it again…

 

Charles and Cuong: NO!

 

Khoi: Aww… don’t crush my fantasies! GEEz!

 

Jason: Wait… this might be a good opportunity to test our powers too…

 

Khoi: Geez… fine… ::transforms into Jason::

 

Jason: Hey… I’ll take both of you on… ::takes out a bouquet of flowers and a box of candy outta nowhere:: Because love is unfair… and sometimes… you must fight off the fury of a wave of passion… even through the dark remnants of the heart…

 

Off in the distance…

 

Jon: SO BEAUTIFUL!

 

Back to Jason, Charles, and Cuong…

 

Cuong: ::staring at Charles:: Dude… is that a tear?

 

Charles: NO! … I just have… something in my eye…

 

Jason: okay… these are the rules…

 

Cuong: Umm… before that… can I have that box of candy? ::drools::

 

Jason: umm… no

 

Cuong: …fine… tubby mad! TUBBY DESTROY YOU!

 

Jason: Okay… whatever… Anyways… the first person to stay on the ground for more than three seconds loses!

 

Khoi: like in wrestling! OooOOOooh! Time to play the game! Who said that?!

 

Charles: Wait… but this isn’t fair… it’ll be two on one…

 

Jason: fine… ::pops out Khoi::

 

Khoi: umm… huh?…

 

Jason: We’re going to fight Cuong and Charles…

 

Khoi: …Must we?… My nails will get hurt…

 

Jason: …Why would your nails get hurt?

 

Khoi: I don’t know! SHUT THE HELL UP YOU SON OF A BITCH!

 

Jason: …okay…

 

Cuong: …Can Khoi even fight?

 

Jason: Don’t worry… in this form… he has as much strength as me…

 

Khoi: Umm… I do?… oooOOOooh!

 

Jason: ::shudders:: Why… why does he have to look like me?

 

Khoi: umm… cause I love you?

 

Jason: Okay! THAT’S ENOUGH! LET’S START THIS! ::puts hands together with Khoi’s… they start spinning them simultaneously::

 

Khoi and Jason: INSANE 64!

 

Khoi: oooOOOooh!

 

Charles: :[pic]: WHAT THE FUCK?!

 

Cuong: hee hee… funny…

 

Charles: don’t laugh you idiot! Dodge!

 

Khoi and Jason run at Cuong and Charles with the Insane 64… Cuong and Charles dodge… Khoi and Jason split up… Khoi at Cuong… and Jason at Charles.

 

Khoi: special move! Ultimate nuttap! ::jumps high into the air… and flies straight at Cuong’s nuts with a dropkick::

 

Cuong: :[pic]: What kind of move is that?! ::jumps backwards to dodge it… Khoi punches at Cuong’s nuts… Cuong dodges to the side:: ARE YOU FIGHTING ME OR MY NUTS?!!!

 

Khoi: umm… both? OooOOOooh!

 

Charles is looking at the Khoi and Cuong fight…

 

Charles: ummm… what kind of fighting is that?

 

Jason: Well… while we were on the island… Khoi INSISTED to make a fighting style of his own… and thus was born… ::sighs:: nuttap fighting… very unsexy compared to my dance fighting…

 

Khoi: I heard that! OooOOOooh! ::grabs Cuong::

 

Cuong: What the?! Let go! This isn’t right!

 

Khoi: BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX! WHEE! ::throws Cuong in the air:: Plus! FLYING NUTTAP! ::jumps into the air at Cuong with his foot out towards Cuong’s nuts::

 

Cuong: ACK! SHADOW CUP! ::a cup made of shadow appears, blocking Khoi’s attack::

 

Charles: Umm… I’m not going to watch this now… so let’s fight…

 

Jason: If you insist… ::runs at Charles:: ::spins across Charles to go right behind him::

 

Charles turns and jumps backwards as Jason punches forward… landing an incomplete shot at Charles’ face.

 

Charles: Close! Not good enough!

 

Jason: Salsa throw!

 

Charles: SALSA?! ::looks terrified::

 

Jason: The dance… not the food…

 

Charles: good!

 

Jason: ::grabs Charles’s hand… spins Charles towards him and then pushes him away spinning… then kicks Charles in the face::

 

Charles: ::getting up from the floor:: Stupid dance fighting!

 

Cuong: Stupid nuttap fighting!

 

Charles: ::gathering light to his hands:: Okay then… time to test out my new techniques… Nitou Janken Scissors! CROSS SLASH! ::makes scissors with both hands and slashes them both down at Jason in an X pattern::

 

Jason grabs Charles’ wrist to stop the attack and throws him backwards. Charles slides a little on his feet and runs back at Jason…

 

Charles: ROCK! ::makes a fist of light::

 

Jason: Um… paper? ::sticks out his palm to block Charles’ fist:: UGH! ::jumps backwards… Charles flips forward and runs at Jason, Jason’s hand is smoking:: Maybe that wasn’t such a good idea!

 

Cuong: ::dodging more nuttaps by Khoi::

 

Khoi: stop dodging! OooOOOooh!

 

Cuong: Never!

 

Khoi: Fine then! Time for my other special technique… ::takes a deep breath… then:: oooOOOoooOOOoooOOOoooOOOoooOOOoooh!!!!!!!

 

Cuong: ::grabs ears:: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

 

Khoi: And now my ultimate technique! NUTTAP OF FURY! ::jumps high into the air and goes straight down at Cuong in a spinning Dropick:: DONG! OooOOOooh!

 

Cuong: ugh! No! NOT MY NUTS! ::turns into a spinning shadow missile and goes straight at Khoi:: SHADOW FANG!

 

Cuong: AHHHHHHHH!!

 

Khoi: oooOOOooh!

 

Cuong goes past Khoi and straight into the air… until he goes out of view.

 

Khoi: ::landing on the ground, confused:: Huh?… umm… where did tubby go?

 

At an angle, behind Khoi, Cuong is coming back from the sky in shadow fang mode.

 

Cuong: SHADOW SNIPE!

 

Khoi: uh oh…

 

Cuong goes through Khoi… Khoi disappears in a puff of smoke… as Cuong does a final spin and lands on the ground.

 

Cuong: Huh?

 

Khoi rises out of the sand behind Cuong and nuttaps him from behind.

 

Cuong: AHHHHH! ::falls doubled over… grabbing his nuts::

 

Khoi: I did it! I did it! ::jumps up and down in happiness::

 

When Khoi goes up… Cuong sticks out his foot while on the ground… Khoi’s nuts land on Cuong’s foot. Khoi falls over onto the ground grabbing his nuts.

 

Khoi: ouchies!

 

Cuong: Shut up!

 

Cuong and Khoi throw sand at each other on the floor… Meanwhile with Charles and Jason.

 

Charles: Janken ryuu! ::sticks palm out at Khoi:: PAPER CANNON! ::beam of light fires out at Jason::

 

Jason: ::deflects the blast by hitting it upwards:: ::forms a Crazy 8:: CRAZY 8! ::running at Charles::

 

Charles: Uh oh… Nitou Janken Meteor ROCK! ::both hands light up, one in a rock, the other as a paper:: ::shoots out a ball of light, from the paper, and slams into it with the fist of light… he doesn’t go straight for Jason though, he spins his fist around with his whole body, leaving a trail of light behind where his fist was, then flies toward Jason with the trailing fist of light::

 

Jason: What kinda move is that?…

 

The Crazy 8 and the Janken Meteor Rock hit creating an explosion which throws up a large amount of sand……… the sand clears. Jason is backed off, but now his hair is red and eyes are red. Charles is backed off… and he’s still the same, but surprised.

 

Charles: umm… ::remembers when Jason killed Joe:: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!! ::screaming even more like a girl:: AHHHHHHHHHH!!

 

Jason: Don’t worry… just fight… I have this under control…

 

Charles: uhh… are you sure?

 

Jason: …Yes…

 

Charles: Okay… ::thinks:: He was in this form when he beat me last time… if I can beat him this time… that’ll mean that I’m stronger… ::two fingers on each hands get surrounded with light energy:: Nitou Janken Scissors! KAITEN RYUU! ::runs at Berserk Jason::

 

Jason: ::spinning hands rapidly with red energy gathering in the middle:: Heavenly 8! ::the red energy disperses… Jason turns back into regular Jason.:: Huh?!

 

Charles: Huh? ::stops the attack::

 

Jason: uhh…

 

Charles: Why’d you change back?

 

Jason: …I don’t know…

 

Neko-chan appears out of nowhere.

 

Neko-chan: Let me explain… Since you’re split with that other fag right now… you can’t do it… The only time you can go berserk is when that fag is also with you.

 

Jason: …interesting…

 

Charles: umm… so… umm…

 

Neko-chan: Well… you’ve all improved dramatically… kinda… umm… ::smacks Cuong and Khoi who are on the floor trying to slap each other:: STOP THAT!

 

Khoi: oooOOOooh?

 

Jason goes back into Khoi.

 

Khoi: so… uhh… meow?

 

Neko-chan: …

 

Cuong: …my nuts hurt like a bitch… I’m going to take a nap… ::walks off to the cabin carefully::

 

Neko-chan: …

 

Khoi: me too…

 

Neko-chan: …anyways… okay… Charles… go do your chores…

 

Charles: WHA??? But they! BUT THEY!

 

Neko-chan: Were you kicked in the nuts?

 

Charles: …sigh… ::walks off to the big trees::

 

Neko-chan: …oh yeah… I forgot… HOW THE FUCK DID HE LEARN THE SUCCESSION MOVES TO JANKEN?!

 

At Charles’ training place…

 

Charles: ::thinking:: I did okay… but… my techniques were weaker compared to what the scroll said… hmm… better work harder…

 

Meanwhile… Neko-chan is taking a nap… Ecstasy is training by knocking down the big trees with the flaming crazy 8.

 

Ecstasy: Close… I’m close to mastering it…

 

A mysterious voice echoes from the forest.

 

??????: yes… yes you are…

 

Ecstasy: What? Who’s there? ::shakes fist:: If it’s any of you fags…

 

??????: Flaming 8 huh?…

 

A figure jumps down from one of insanely huge trees… He lands on the ground, scattering the dry leaves on the floor. He has black hair which is parted in the front but spiked up in the back. He is wearing a long brown scarf over a white shirt. The shirt’s left sleeve is long, but the right sleeve is short… and his right arm is wrapped in bandages. He is also wearing long brown tan cargo pants and regular sandles. His face up to his eyes is also wrapped around with bandages, so it looks like a ninja mask.

 

??????: Yo.

 

Ecstasy: What the hell… who are you?

 

??????: Nobody in particular…

 

Ecstasy: How’d you get to this island?!

 

??????: Umm… internet?

 

Ecstasy: …sure… ::rolls eyes:: What do you want?

 

??????: You have the blue flame right…

 

Ecstasy: Duh… you fucking stalker… I was just using it…

 

??????: Well… did you know that the blue flame has 2 forms?

 

Ecstasy: …what the fuck are you talking about? Tell me who you are!

 

??????: There’s a reason why that flame is blue… If you can find it…

 

Ecstasy: Do I LOOK LIKE I CARE?!

 

??????: ::sticks up his left fist… a shining blue tattoo of folded wings appears on the back of the fist:: Level 1 of Super Suave… improved strength, speed… stamina… etc… Level 2 of Super Suave… able to clone self…

 

Ecstasy: ::getting tense::

 

??????: ::his left hand begins to spark:: Level 1 of Blue Flame… just… blue flame… Level 2 of Blue Flame… ability to manipulate…

 

Ecstasy: …

 

??????: However… there is a level beyond… called Trance.

 

Ecstasy: …

 

??????: ::closes eyes:: ::tattoo on left hand glows brightly:: ::parted hair on front begins to change color from black to blue:: ::opens eyes… which have turned blue:: Trance…

 

Ecstasy: Why are you telling me this?

 

??????: Because… as you can see… I’m powerless right now… I can go into Trance… but that’s it…

 

Ecstasy: … ::sweat drop::

 

??????: That’s where you come in… ::tattoo glows even brighter:: Come to me… my ryuusei…

 

Ecstasy: :[pic]: Who are you?!

 

??????: ::blue flame suddenly pours out of Ecstasy… and starts getting absorbed into the shining tattoo::

 

Ecstasy: What’s going on?!

 

The final amount of flame gets absorbed… and the tattoo stops glowing. The guy’s eyes and hair turn back to their original colors.

 

??????: Thank you… this was what I needed… ::turns and begins to walk away::

 

Ecstasy: Stop! WHO ARE YOU?! Give that flame back to me!

 

??????: ::turns a little::

 

Ecstasy: Are you… ::sweatdrop:: Joe Choe?

 

??????: Hmm… Joe Choe… No… I’m not… someone weak as that who never had Trance… That person could never be me…

 

Ecstasy: THEN WHO ARE YOU?!

 

??????: I am… the person who has watched their constant battles… I am the person who was chosen to keep the gate safe… I am ::thinks:: Jooshay…

 

Ecstasy: Jooshay?! Gate?! What the fuck is that?! GIVE ME BACK THAT BLUE FLAME!

 

Jooshay: I’m sorry… but that flame is necessary… to take the power to the third level…

 

Ecstasy: What level?

 

Jooshay: ::flame appears on his hand… disappears and becomes electricity:: The blue flame’s true form… lightning…

 

Ecstasy: …

 

Jooshay: That is the flame in its truest form… the reason why it’s blue…

 

Ecstasy: FUCK THAT! ::runs at Sefu:: THAT POWER WAS ENTRUSTED TO ME! GIVE IT BACK!

 

Jooshay: ::does a 180 turn and creates a ryuusei of electricity in his hand… the dragon roars a high pitched voice… Ecstasy stops in her tracks… it’s a lot more louder than the blue flame ryuusei:: It’s mine now… the Raijen Ryuusei.

 

Ecstasy: Tch…

 

Jooshay: By the way… I’m sorry… I lied about my name… ::turns to walk away… the raijen ryuusei is covering his whole arm…:: ::begins to walk::

 

Ecstasy: who the fuck are you?…

 

Jooshay: …I am the assassin of flame… ::turns head at Ecstasy:: Now the Mediator of Destiny… ::turns head again:: I will kill all those who attempt to meddle with the gate… I am… Shigeru Watabashi…

 

Ecstasy: Who?…

 

Shigeru: ::disappears in a flash:: ::voice echoes:: The gates have entrusted me with a mission… Destroy those with powers and those who seek the gates… they brought me back for that purpose… Tell your friends… I’m coming for them…

 

Skies turn black…

 

Ecstasy: Gates… what’s he talking about?… ::looks at her hands:: I’m sorry Joe… I lost it… ::remembers the pure fear when Shigeru created the raijen ryuusei:: He’s… He’s… unbelievably deadly…

 

Meanwhile… at the Cabin… Khoi stands straight up after sleeping for a while…

 

Khoi: I feel something strange… DIARHHEA! OooOOOooh!

 

Jason: The skies are dark… It means someone has gotten back from the dead.

 

Khoi: DEAD?! ::screams like a girl:: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

 

Jason: …it’s just a legend…

 

Khoi: Legend?! ::screams like a girl:: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! DON’T TELL ME THAT YOU PERVERT!

 

Lightning crashes in the sky. At Charles’s training place.

 

Charles: Umm… I’m outta here… freaky! ::runs off to the cabin:: ::comes across Ecstasy on the ground:: Umm… are you okay?

 

Ecstasy: …That guy…

 

Charles: …huh?

 

Ecstasy: …he plans to kill us all…

 

Charles: ...umm… is this another prank?

 

Ecstasy: I’ve lost… the ryuusei…

 

Charles: How’d that happen?

 

Ecstasy: ::stands up:: We’re so far from his level…

 

Meanwhile… khoi is coming out of the forest after taking a… yeah…

 

Khoi: Phew… refreshing…

 

A figure mysteriously appears in front of Khoi… floating in the air.

 

Khoi: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! A ghost!

 

Girl: …no… I’m not… I’m a mediator of destiny…

Khoi: Huh?

 

Girl: …Jason…

 

Khoi: ::points at himself:: Huh? Me?

 

Girl: We have sent him… the one that will stop all the madness of the world…

 

Shigeru appears in front of Khoi.

 

Shigeru: Jason…

 

Khoi: umm… who’s this sexy guy? OooOOOooh!

 

Shigeru: Umm… ::taken aback:: Uhh… geez… a millennium sure changes a person.

 

Khoi: hee hee… you have a mask… oooOOOoooh! Who said that?

 

Shigeru: …anyways… Jason… I’m here to tell you… They have brought me back to be a Mediator of Destiny. As such… I cannot allow the actions that will destroy this world take place…

 

Khoi: umm… Jason? Know what he’s talking about?

 

Jason: …no… I don’t… Who is he?

 

Khoi: ::shrugs::

 

Neko-chan wakes up.

 

Neko-chan: ::shakes head:: Geez… another weird dream… I wonder what it meant…

 

Meanwhile… Ecstasy’s training by knocking down big trees with the flaming 8.

 

Ecstasy: ::spinning her hands quickly while them being on fire:: FLAMING 8! ::knocks down a big tree::

 

A figure wearing the same things as the one person in Neko-chan’s dream appears behind Ecstasy.

 

??????: yo… ::takes off mask:: good job…

 

Ecstasy: ::turning around:: Huh? Who are… :[pic]: you…

 

??????: I’m sorry to ask since you made such good progress with that power… but I have a favor to ask… ::tattoo on left hand glows::

 

Meanwhile… at the cabin…

 

Khoi: ::standing straight up from sleeping:: I have a weird feeling…

 

Jason: The skies are getting dark… when they get dark… it is said that a person gets reborn.

 

To be continued.

T.R.A.N.C.E.

 

11th installment: Return

 

??????: yo… ::takes off mask:: good job…

 

Ecstasy: ::turning around:: Huh? Who are… :[pic]: you…

 

??????: I’m sorry to ask since you made such good progress with that power… but I have a favor to ask… ::tattoo on left hand glows::

 

The tattoo is of two Lightning bolts striking a large flame.

 

Ecstasy: What favor?… and… why’d you take off your mask when you’re just wearing another mask underneath?

 

??????: ::has another mask underneath the mask he just took off:: Umm… anyways… allow myself to introduce… myself… I am… the pinnacle of heroes! The greatest of champions! The secret to your mother’s cookie recipe! I AM THE GREAT FLAME PHANTOM!

 

Ecstasy: …flame phantom?… ::quizzical look::

 

Flame Phantom: yes! The flame phantom!… ::shifts eyes, then drops hands:: Awww… forget it… you can call me… Kamekazi Superman!!! ::strikes a pose::

 

Ecstasy: …kamekazi superman?

 

Flame Phantom: …just call me umm… Destiny…

 

Ecstasy: Okay… “Destiny…” You know… there’s an old saying… don’t trust guys wearing masks…

 

Destiny: Mask?… oh… this… hahaha… this isn’t a mask! IT’S AN IDENTITY HIDING MECHANISM!

 

Ecstasy: …umm… how’d you get to this island… faggot…

 

Destiny: It’s a long story… and I have no time for that! ::strikes another pose:: FOR I MUST ASK YOU TO DO A FAVOR FOR ME!

 

Ecstasy: And why shouldn’t I just kill your ass right now?

 

Destiny: ::gets out of pose:: Geez… violent… anyways… I am the great… DESTINY! And I’m asking you… ::gets serious:: Will you give me your flame powers?…

 

Ecstasy: Heh… you gotta be joking me… this power was given to me by a person to protect. Why should I give it to you?

 

Destiny: Well… for one… I’m the great… DESTINY! ::strikes a pose::

 

Ecstasy: …

 

Destiny: Also… I can’t really do much without powers…

 

Ecstasy: ::points to the tattoo on his left hand:: Umm… why is that glowing?

 

Destiny: …that’s none of your concern… However… I promise you… that… ::looks up from pose:: If you give me those powers… I can get you back Deity.

 

Ecstasy: ::wide eyes:: How do you know about her?

 

Destiny: I know a lot of things…

 

Ecstasy: ::kicks Destiny in the nuts:: TELL ME HOW YOU KNOW ABOUT HER!

 

Destiny: ::on floor grabbing nuts:: Gosh… damn… fuck… what kinda person kicks a hero in the nuts?!!!

 

Ecstasy: YOU WERE SENT FROM THAT COMPANY WEREN’T YOU?!

 

Destiny: Company?… I’m doing this out of the kindness of my heart! I sincerely want to help! But I can’t without powers!

 

Ecstasy: DON’T GIVE ME THAT BULLSHIT!

 

Destiny: I see… my words won’t do anything… then how about this… ::rips off shirt:: LOOK AT MY BEAUTIFUL SEMI SIX PACK! IT’S SO CLOSE TO A SIX PACK! CAN YOU SEE ITS HONEST FURY?! YES! TREMBLE BEFORE IT!

 

Ecstasy: ::kicks Destiny in the nuts again::

 

Destiny: ::on the floor again:: Aww… come on…

 

Ecstasy: No means no! I’M KEEPING THESE POWERS UNTIL I CAN GET THEM TO THE OWNER!

 

Destiny: fine then… gosh… ::strikes pose once more:: I’m outta here! ::tattoo glows brightly one last time… and he disappears::

 

Ecstasy: …who the fuck was that?

 

Neko-chan: ::leaning against tree watching:: That would be… what I feared most…

 

Ecstasy: ::looks confused::

 

Neko-chan: Another person with trance… as Jason is a Heavenly Berserker… that guy… he was… a Angelic Flame.

 

Ecstasy: …are you saying that guy was as powerful as Jason?

 

Neko-chan: No… ::turns to walk away:: I’m saying… that guy’s stronger… ::thinks:: Different from my dream… I guess I must be getting old… I can’t predict the future as well anymore…

 

Later on the beach… Everybody has been assembled…

 

Neko-chan: We have only about three days left… You’ve all grown by leaps and bounds… except you… ::points at Jon::

 

Jon: Huh? ::holding steel and mashimaru doll:: But… I’m so devilishly handsome!

 

Neko-chan: I know… ::looks at Charles, Jason, Cuong, Ecstasy, and Jon:: That you all have done extra training on the side… and that a lot of you are holding in techniques you don’t want revealed yet…

 

Khoi: I’m holding in more than that… ::farts:: WHEE!

 

Cuong: …

 

Jon: …

 

Charles: …

 

Ecstasy: YOU ASSHOLE! YOU COULD’VE KILLED US! ::punches Khoi far far away::

 

Khoi: AHHH!! WHAT DID I DOOOOOOOOO! OooOOOooh! ::flies away::

 

Neko-chan: These final three days… will be spent with one goal in mind…You are going to…

 

Charles: …

 

Cuong: …

 

Khoi: ::who has somehow mysteriously come back:: …

 

Jon: …

 

Ecstasy: …what?

 

Neko-chan: You are going to relax…

 

Jon: Huh?

 

Neko-chan: What? Did I stutter? I’m telling you to relax…

 

Khoi: WHEE! WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!! ::pours water over himself:: ::pokes Cuong:: Your turn tubby!

 

Cuong: …don’t touch my fat!

 

Khoi: DON’T TURN ME ON! OooOOOooh!

 

Cuong: …

 

Charles: So… that’s it? Just relax?

 

Neko-chan: yes… relax… while thinking of past events… and what you want to accomplish… ::walks away::

 

Charles: …

 

Later… Charles is sitting upon a bunch of bamboo trees.

 

Charles: What I want to do… ::thinks:: I think that’s obvious… ::clenches fist:: I want… to be stronger so that I won’t lose to anyone.

 

In another place… Cuong is laying down on his bed in the cabin.

 

Cuong: ::remembers when he went all evil:: I don’t… want to have to kill again…

 

Meanwhile… at the hot springs… Jon is in the hot springs…

 

Jon: I want to… play with my Mashimaru-kun! ALL DAY LONG!… ::thinks:: But really… I want… REVENGE FOR THOSE BASTARD MAKING ME WEAR A VIBRATING THONG! ::referring to when he first got powers::

 

Ecstasy is on top of a tree looking at the island.

 

Ecstasy: I want to find you… Deity…

 

Meanwhile… Khoi is on the beach… staring at the sunset… and the waves…

 

Khoi: I want… to be strong enough as to protect everything I care about… like honeybuns… oooOOOooh!

 

The next few days pass by with little incident… other than Khoi touching Cuong’s… never mind… and then they assemble at the center of the island.

 

Neko-chan: This is it… We’ll be going back… I hope you guys are ready for this…

 

Ecstasy: Just open the door…

 

A portal appears…

 

Khoi: Aww… are we going to have to go through the hole again?… sigh… oooOOOooh!

 

They all get sucked up… and end up in…

 

Khoi: FINALLY! We’re back!

 

Goku: Huh? Who are you?

 

Khoi: …oooOOOooh?

 

Goku: huh?

 

Khoi: Shut up! ::kicks Goku in the nuts:: Who said that?

 

Piccolo: Goku! These guys are probably aliens that have come to conquer earth!

 

Cuong: …umm… Neko-chan?

 

Neko-chan: ::shrugs:: I don’t know what happened…

 

Charles: ::tears:: MY DREAM’S COME TRUE! ::hugs Goku:: I LOVE YOU!!!!

 

Goku: umm… HE’S TRYING TO KILL ME!

 

Vegeta: Kakarot! DESTROY THEM!

 

Goku: But… but… but… we must train first!

 

Khoi: …Can I watch? OooOOOooh!

 

Gohan: Dad! What’s going on?! ::looks at Khoi:: UGH! WHAT IS THAT THING?!

 

Vegeta: ::takes out a scouter:: Good thing I have an extra scouter… ::puts it on::

 

Khoi: Umm… stop staring at me you pervert…

 

Vegeta: This doesn’t compute! This guy has a power level of… fat? ::looks to Cuong:: and he has a power level of… tubby?…

 

Cuong: …HEY! I’VE BEEN WORKING OUT!

 

Ecstasy: Why are we in this weird place with guys who have weird hair?

 

Charles: ::still hugging Goku:: This is the Dragon Ball Z world!

 

Ecstasy: Uhh… what’s that?

 

Charles: ::get off of Goku:: DRAGON BALL Z IS ONE OF THE GREATEST ANIMES OF ALL TIME!!!

 

Goku: Umm… we should just defeat these guys right? Ka… me… ha… me…

 

Khoi: ha?

 

Goku: HA! ::fires ki beam::

 

Khoi: There’s only one thing to do! ::hides behind Cuong::

 

Neko-chan: Hey guys! I fixed the portal!

 

They get sucked into the portal again… and end up in…

 

Khoi: Umm… where are we now?

 

Neko-chan: uhh… oops?

 

Jon: ::wide eyes:: IT’S! IT’S! IT’S! What are these things?

 

Cuong: …teletubbies?

 

Teletubby #1: Hee hee… new friends!

 

Teletubbies: Yes! NEW FRIENDS!

 

Jon: ::screams like girl and throws cards at them:: phew… dodged a close one there…

 

Cuong: ::mouth wide open::

 

Charles: ::mouth wide open:: You… killed… the teletubbies…

 

Jon: No need to thank me!

 

Khoi: Yeah… ::shifts eyes:: Now I must take their dead bodies and… umm… investigate… ::picks up a teletubby torso and tries to turn on the monitor:: I SURE HOPE I DIDN’T MISS SMACKDOWN! OooOOOooh!

 

Ecstasy: Dude… you have teletubby blood all over you…

 

Khoi: …so?

 

Ecstasy: …

 

Neko-chan: Umm… I think we’ve fucked with this world long enough… Let’s go!

 

The portal sucks them up again… and sends them to…

 

Khoi: FINALLY! WE’RE BACK AT SCHOOL!

 

Cuong: umm… Khoi… this isn’t school…

 

Khoi: …don’t talk back to me young lady… oooOOOooh!

 

Charles: Umm…

 

Jon: Hmm… from my deductive reasoning… I gather that… we’re in Australia…

 

Charles: no, we’re not! We’re in a pokemon battle!

 

Ash: Gasp! ::looks at Khoi:: PIKACHU! LOOK! IT’S A KANGHASKHAN! ::looks at Cuong:: A charmander! ::looks at Charles:: umm… a… ::skips Charles and goes to Jon:: UGH! SOMETHING’S WRONG WITH THAT POKEMON’S FACE! ::sprays super potion on Jon:: Here you go!

 

Jon: AHHHHHHHHHH!! IT BURNS!

 

Ecstasy: …

 

Ash: GASP! THE POKEMON TALKED!

 

Khoi: oooOOOooH?

 

Ash: Hey! That’s the Kagnhaskhan mating call! Go mate with it Pikachu!

 

Pikachu: ::waving hands:: ::distressed:: PIKA! PIKA! CHU! PIKAPI! PIKA!

 

Khoi: now Pikachu! Listen to your master! OooOOOooh!

 

Pikachu: ::shudders uncontrollably::

 

Neko-chan: …Let’s get out of this weird place…

 

The portal sucks them up again… and they end up in…

 

Khoi: Aww… we’re still not home yet?

 

Cuong: YOU FOOL! WE’RE HERE!

 

Kevin is running at them with his mouth wide open…

 

Kevin: ME HUNGY!

 

Cuong: HEY! THAT’S MY LINE!

 

Ecstasy: What the hell is that thing running at us?

 

Khoi: I don’t know?

 

Charles: That’s what we were fighting before we came here!

 

Cuong: Well… might as well see how much we’ve improved…

 

Charles: Umm… it’s Kevin… we really shouldn’t hurt him… How do we change him back to normal?

 

Khoi: A good night of making out might do it! ::rips off shirt:: oooOOOooh!

 

Kevin: …

 

Charles: Umm… whatever… ::picks up technique book and looks at it:: The healing technique of light… Hmm… that might work… ::sticks out hands in bow and arrow position:: Janken ryuu! Healing arrow of light!

 

Ecstasy: …umm… okay…

 

Charles shoots Kevin with the arrow of light… The arrow hits him, exploding in a flash of light. Kevin goes unconscious.

 

Charles: I DID IT! I DID IT! ::jumping up and down::

 

Khoi: … ::kicks Charles in the nuts:: Only I MAY DO THE THINGS THAT I MAY DO! I DID IT! I DID IT! ::jumping up and down::

 

Later… Kevin wakes up… all alone… in the middle of the quad.

 

Kevin: …where am I?…

 

Meanwhile… Charles, Khoi, Cuong, and Jon are sitting on a park bench somewhere.

 

Charles: So… I guess since there won’t be anymore murders… class will start again…

 

Cuong: …So who actually won this round?

 

Khoi: oooOOOoooh?

 

Jon: …I miss Ru…

 

On a random tree, watching them… is Destiny…

 

Destiny: Hmm… You guys have gotten stronger… ::remembers when he was stuck in the pitch white place with his left arm disintegrating(this was in a previous installment):: The artificial heart that Meta X and Beta Y have… was based on Justin’s power draining machine… However… there are some hearts that cannot leave things alone…

 

At N.O.D.A.T.S.S.T.U.P.I.D. headquarters… in the dark room of Beta Y and Meta X… Beta Y is staring at the locket the old woman gave her(from previous installment).

 

Meta X: ::looks up after feeling shock:: I just felt something… familiar…

 

Beta Y: What?

 

Meta X: I don’t know… felt like my… but that’s impossible…

 

Beta Y: Your heart?… ::looks at the locket some more::

 

Meta X: …Yes…

 

Beta Y: Forget it… as long as Super Suave is still alive… We won’t be able to get those back… We’ll be stuck with these artificial hearts…

 

Meta X: Yes…

 

Beta Y: …If we disobey them… the artificial hearts will explode… and we will die…

 

Meta X: …Yeah…

 

Joule walks into the room.

 

Joule: Hello there my little friends… it seems that Kevin was defeated… by our other little friends…

 

Meta X: …How?

 

Joule: I don’t know… heh… Meta X… ::Looks straight at him:: Do you want a rematch with Jason?

 

Meta X: …

 

Joule: Maybe this time… ::looks dead serious:: You won’t hold back…

 

Meta X: …

 

Beta Y: Hey, why him? He’s had his chance… Why not me?

 

Joule: Shut up… this is my decision… ::walks over to the side:: Did you guys know that Alpha Z will soon reveal herself to them… the fusioncharged… project?

 

Meta X: Alpha Z?… do you need to use her?

 

Joule: heh… they’ve grown far stronger somehow… We monitored it… Their powers have grown exponentially… Also… ::throws a couple pictures at them:: They have company…

 

They’re pictures of Ecstasy…

 

Meta X: This is…

 

Beta Y: …

 

Joule: It seems our little stray has picked a new side… If that’s so… They may already know about Alpha Z…I want you two… to kill her… don’t let her give them any more information… including the whereabouts of this base…

 

Meta X: What makes you so sure that she didn’t already tell them the location of this place?

 

Joule: Hmm… let’s call it an whim…

 

Meta X: Heh… do you really think these other guys will stand by as we do this?

 

Joule: Oh… they will… because… Alpha Z is going to attack them at the exact same time…

 

At midnight… Ecstasy is sitting alone on the edge of the school gym rooftop…

 

Ecstasy: Back again… to this place… hmm… ::looks up:: Are you guys going to stand there all day?

 

Meta X and Beta Y are standing behind her.

 

Meta X: Oh… good senses…

 

Ecstasy: ::stands up:: You masked freaks… I’ll finish you right here…

 

Meta X: Try it… you’re obsolete…

 

Ecstasy: ::turning around to face them:: We’ll see who’s obsolete… ::blue flame surrounds her::

Meta X: …surprising…

 

Beta Y: Kind of looks like yours…

 

Meta X: Yeah… too bad… ::sticks up right hand… there’s a glowing blue tattoo of a flame:: Supercharge… Lightning flame…

 

Beta Y: ::sticks up left hand… there’s a glowing green tattoo of a feather:: Supercharge… Wind Break…

 

Ecstasy: …That looks like… Trance…

 

Meta X: Die… ::takes out equipment, swords, shuriken::

 

Beta Y: ::takes out fans::

 

Ecstasy: Bring it on… ::spins hands around with flame circling them::

 

Meanwhile… Khoi is walking around looking for “victims”

 

Khoi: Gosh! Why aren’t there any hot girls around at midnight?! There’s only hobos and rowdy college people! OooOOOooh!

 

Jason: Wait… stop…

 

Khoi: What? YOU SEE A HOT GIRL?!

 

Jason: No… look up there…

 

On top of a radio tower near where khoi is walking… is a figure with arms crossed.

 

Khoi: oooOOOooh! Is it a girl?!

 

Jason: Moron! Can’t you feel it? Her killing intent? Directed straight at us?

 

Khoi: Umm… oooOOOooh?

 

The figure jumps off the tower and lands on the ground with little recoil.

 

Khoi: oooOOOooh! Let’s try that next Jason!

 

Jason: Hmm… how about… no…

 

Alpha Z: Jason… I assume…

 

Khoi: Umm… no… but here you go… ::transforms into Jason::

 

Jason: Now I’m Jason…

 

Alpha Z: Whatever… ::wearing the same white mask as Meta X and Beta Y::

 

Jason: Who are you?

 

Alpha Z: Allow me to introduce myself… I am Alpha Z… The last thing you’ll ever see… ::a glowing red tattoo of a heart of ice appears on her chest:: Fusioncharge… Ice breaker…

 

Jason: …That… :[pic]: It looks like a trance…

 

Alpha Z: Hmph… What’s trance?… this is fusion charge…

 

Jason: ::thinks:: The power… feels similar to Trance… but it’s different… almost like it’s fake…

 

Khoi: yeah… like Cuong’s tits…

 

Jason: Oh well… fusion charge or not… ::sticks up right hand:: The original is always better… ::the glowing red tattoo of folded wings appear on the back of his right hand:: Trance… Heavenly Berserker!

 

Alpha Z: What is this? ::wind starts to push her back::

 

Jason: ::hairs and eyes turn red:: This… is the original…

 

Alpha Z: ::the wind stops blowing:: ::regains herself:: I see… I see now… that I can’t hold back… ::chuckles:: This is the end for you… ::takes off a large wrapped package from her back::

 

Jason: Oh… what’s that? A sword? A spear? A gun?

 

Alpha Z: ::puts up a snowboard:: It’s a snowboard…

 

Jason: …what do you expect to do with that?

 

Alpha Z: ::puts the snowboard on:: Wouldn’t you like to know… ::jumps high up into the air with the snowboard::

 

Jason: ::hears rumbling:: What… is that…

 

Snow blows from the sky and throws Jason back a little.

 

Jason: What is this?…

 

Alpha Z appears behind him…

 

Alpha Z: Hey…

 

Jason: What?…

 

Alpha Z: ::jumps up and spins herself… the edge of the snowboard catches Jason in the face and throws him back a little::

 

Jason: try that again! ::punches forward… then slips:: What the???? ::there’s ice underneath him… he falls to the ground::

 

Alpha Z: Doesn’t matter how strong you are… if you can’t hit me! ::rides her snowboard on the ground somehow to kick Jason up from the ground:: ::as Jason’s in the air… she punches at him even though she’s not close enough to connect. A gust of cold wind flies from her hand and hits Jason… his leg gets frozen as he falls to the ground::

 

Jason: What annoying powers are these? ::struggles to get up::

 

Alpha Z: Oh come on… ::jumps up into the air… and spins… a lot more cold wind begins to blow from her spinning snowboard onto Jason… freezing his body:: This was pitiful!!!

 

Red energy begins to leak from the frozen Jason… The ice explodes and the ice on the floor begins to melt as well.

 

Jason: ::red energy surrounding him:: If that’s the best you can do… you might as well give up… ::disappears in a blink of an eye::

 

Alpha Z: Where’d he go?…

 

Jason appears behind her and kicks her down to the ground… her snowboard breaks.

 

Jason: You caught me by surprise… it won’t happen again…

 

Alpha Z: you broke my snowboard… ::throws the snowboard away:: Then I guess I’ll have to go all out against you… ::crosses hands together and points them at Jason:: DEEP FREEZE COFFIN!

 

A large spinning blast of cold wind flies at Jason.

 

Jason: Enough! HEAVENLY 8! ::spins hand rapidly while forming red energy in the center::

 

The heavenly 8 blast a hole right through the spinning blast of cold wind. Jason rushes through the wind at Alpha Z.

 

Jason: This is over!

 

Alpha Z: NOT YET! ICE ARMOR REVOLUTION! ::ice begins to form all over her bod to create ice armor::

 

She catches the heavenly 8 and cracks begin to appear in the armor.

 

Alpha Z: What is this power!

 

Jason: Don’t think you can hold the 8 for long! ::spins more rapidly… chunks of the armor rip off::

 

Alpha Z: NOBODY TOLD ME ABOUT THIS POWER!

 

Jason: WELL! TIME TO GET INFORMED! ::breaks through… the heavenly 8 is about to connect with her body::

 

Alpha Z: NOT YET! ::a large ice spike, explodes from the point in her armor where the heavenly 8 is about to hit, it breaks through the heavenly 8 and pushes Jason back::

 

Jason: ugh… she actually broke the heavenly 8?!

 

Alpha Z: ::armor is terribly damaged:: Impossible… nobody has ever even laid a scratch to the ice armor revolution…

 

Jason: ::gets up:: Crap… my time has run out in this form… ::changes back into normal Jason::

 

Alpha Z: ::smiles:: As for me… ::the ice armor freezes up again, making it brand new:: I can go on for days…

 

Jason turns back into Khoi…

 

Khoi: Umm… oops?… oooOOOooh!

 

Alpha Z: What an irritating noise!

 

Three cards bounce off the back of the ice armor.

 

Jon: HA! WHEN THE MOON SHOUTS FOR A HERO! IT CALLS FOR BATMAN! BUT JON COMES ANYWAYS! WITH HIS OBNOXIOUSLY GOOD LOOKING FACE OF PURE DELIGHT!

 

Alpha Z: Great… another clown… ::swings arm at Jon, releasing several sharp icicles at him::

 

Jon: a ha! Take this! ::throws cards to meet the icicles… they cancel each other out::

 

Alpha Z: Hmm… then how about this?! ::stomps foot on the ground… huge patches of icicles burst out from the ground, rushing at Jon::

 

Jon: ::hand glows dark purplish color:: Jon’s special new technique from the island! ::touches one of the icicles…they all explode::

 

Alpha Z: What was that?

 

Jon: Anything I touch will be disintegrated!

 

Khoi: oooOOOooh! Even your pimples?!

 

Jon: unfortunately no!

 

Khoi: Awww…

 

Jon: Now then! ::runs at Alpha Z:: I’ll disintegrate that armor! With my obnoxiously good looking attack!

 

Khoi: TAKE OFF HER CLOTHES TOO!

 

Jon: ::stops in mid run:: Good sir… I am a gentle Jon… I cannot condone such acts of indecency…

 

Khoi: …You’re gay aren’t you…

 

Jon: WHAT?! WHAT?! WHAT?! NO!

 

Alpha Z: TOO DISTRACTED! ::Fires out single large icicle spike from her arm at Jon::

 

Jon: Uh oh?…

 

Charles comes rushing in with a ball of light energy in his hands… he drops it to his side, jumps up, spins twice, and kicks it at Alpha Z, it hits Alpha Z right in the center of her armor… It does not disintegrate on impact though… it’s pushing her back and is lasting a long time.

 

Alpha Z: ::trying to push the attack back:: What is this?! More freaks?!

 

Charles: Yes!… I mean! WE’RE NOT FREAKS!

 

The ball of light is starting to severely crack the armor of Alpha Z.

 

Alpha Z: ::being pushed back a lot:: Darn this… ::pushes it upwards… and it flies off into space… pieces of armor begin to fall off from Alpha Z, the entire middle portion of the armor is gone::

 

Charles: AHHH!! My beautiful attack…

 

Alpha Z: Shit… that was close… if I didn’t catch it in time…

 

Khoi: oooOOOooh! It’s Charles!

 

Alpha Z: This is no big deal… ::armor regenerates almost instantly::

 

Khoi: ::makes struggling noises:: HOW DOES SHE DO THAT?!

 

Suddenly… Neko-chan arrives on the scene…

 

Neko-chan: HEY UGLYFACE!

 

Khoi: Who? ::points to self:: Me?

 

Neko-chan: yes you! There’s only one way to beat an opponent of this caliber…

 

Khoi: Umm… nuttap?

 

Neko-chan: no! Hurry and transform into Jason!

 

Khoi: Umm… I’m all out of energy… duh… stoOpid…

 

Neko-chan: You fool! ::jumps onto Khoi’s shoulder:: I am able to recharge your powers!

 

Khoi: Oh! Okay! WHEE! ::changes back into Jason::

 

Jason: So, cat… what’s your plan?

 

Charles: …yeah… what is it?

 

Jon: YOU’RE BACK MY LOVE! ::going to hug Jason::

 

Charles: ::smacks Jon in the face::

 

Jon: I mean… I like girls… ::looks at Charles:: You’re pretty hot… see, I like women… Did I say that out loud?

 

Charles: Yes… and I’m not a girl! DAMN!

 

Neko-chan: We can only do this once! So get it straight!

 

Khoi: What? We’re going to do it! BUT I’M TOO YOUNG!

 

Jason: Shut up in there!j

 

Neko-chan: I’m going to transform into my berserk form… You should know what to do then!

 

Jason: Umm… okay…

 

Neko-chan: I have three berserk forms to help you in battle… you need the Neko-cannon formation to destroy her armor!

 

Jon and Charles: Neko Cannon formation?

 

Neko-chan: Did I fucking stutter?! NOW GO TRANCE!

 

Jason: umm… okay… Trance Heavenly Berserker! ::hair and eyes turn red::

 

Neko-chan: Trance Cannon formation! ::transforms into a very large, very high tech looking cannon that connects to Jason’s arm::

 

Jason: What the heck? The Cat turned into a gun!

 

Neko-chan: IT’S NOT A GUN! IT’S A CANNON! CANNON!

 

Jason: …the gun’s talking to me…

 

Neko-chan: CANNON!

 

Jason: Whatever… Neko-cannon Rage Fire! ::wings from the middle of the cannon unravel… and the cannon fires a huge beam at Alpha Z::

 

Alpha Z: …Maybe I shouldn’t have listened to them talk so much… ::creates a huge wall of ice in front of her:: THAT SHOULD BLOCK IT!

 

The beam breaks through the ice wall… and blasts Alpha Z, her armor starts to peel off.

 

Charles: …damn…

 

Jon: …wow…

 

Alpha Z: ::thinking:: This is! Unpossible!

 

A person with red flame bursting from his heels pulls Alpha Z out of the way of the beam just in time.

 

Jason: ::transforms back into Khoi… Neko-chan transforms back into a cat::

 

Khoi: oooOOOooh! I haven’t seen him for a while…

 

Joule: Hmm… seems like I’ve severely underestimated you guys…

 

Jon: …umm… who’s he?

 

Charles: That’s joule… the red flame guy we told you about… who works for that company…

 

Jon: ohhhh… who?

 

Charles: never mind…

 

Joule: You’re even a match for Alpha Z with her Ice Armor Revolution… Pretty scary… heh… but if I was your opponent… it would’ve been different…

 

Khoi: Umm… the who in the what now?

 

Joule: Whatever… until next time my little pets…

 

Neko-chan: I’M A BERSERKER SPIRIT!

 

Joule: ::blinks:: Umm… a talking cat… okay… I’m going to go now…

 

Joule disappears, carrying Alpha Z off…

 

Khoi: Umm… okay… oooOOOooh?

 

Meanwhile at the rooftop of Sunny Hills gym…

 

Meta X: This was a waste of our time…

 

Beta Y: Heh… disappointing… I thought you would be stronger…

 

Ecstasy: ::really beat up:: Really easy thing to say when it’s two on one…

 

Meta X: Trust me… it would’ve been the same either way…

 

A mysterious voice echoes out of nowhere…

 

Voice: Really… let’s test it out…

 

Destiny appears on the rooftop.

 

Destiny: Hello masked people… what’s up…

 

Meta X: I’ve never seen this guy before… who the hell is he?

 

Beta Y: Some more trash…

 

Ecstasy: What are you doing here?!

 

Destiny: Duh… I came to save you…

 

Ecstasy: With what?

 

Destiny: Give me your flame powers… temporarily… I’ll take them on…

 

Ecstasy: Yeah right…

 

Destiny: Come on… it’s better than dying isn’t it?…

 

Ecstasy: ::thinks:: ………………ugh… fine! ::transfers flame over to Destiny::

 

Destiny: Way better… now then… ::motions for Beta Y and meta X to come:: You and me now…

 

Ecstasy: You can’t take them on alone!

 

Destiny: No worries… ::a ryuusei appears on his hand:: I’m a professional… ::blue tattoo on left hand glows… eyes turn blue… front part of hair turns blue:: Trance Angelic Flame! ::tattoo transforms to flame with wings coming out of it::

 

Meta X: That… tattoo just changed…

 

Destiny: So you can see through that stupid mask… heh… good… I was afraid you might not be able to see this technique! ::another ryuusei appears on his other hand:: Ryuusei! ::he puts his hands together… and the ryuuseis transfer to his other hand… making two ryuuseis be on one hand:: THE THREAD OF FATE! ::the two ryuusei’s begin to spin around each other quickly on one hand:: TWIN RYUUSEI!

 

Meta X: …what the…

 

Beta Y: I’ve never seen an attack like that!

 

Ecstasy: …How… that technique… who are you?

 

Destiny: I’m… Fated Destiny… ::runs at meta X and Beta Y::

 

Beta Y: ::swings up her two fans:: DIE!

 

Several wind blades shoot out at Destiny…

 

Destiny: ::stops mid run, and smacks away the wind blades with the twin ryuusei’s which act like some sort of weapon… they aren’t disappearing::

 

Ecstasy: …::thinking:: The ryuusei’s supposed to be a one shot technique… How is his staying so long?! He can use it like a sword!

 

Meta X: ::throwing 8 charged shuriken at Destiny:: DIE!

 

Destiny: ::with his hand with no ryuusei’s, he brings up a wave of blue flame that blows the shuriken away… he runs through the wave of blue flame and straight at Meta X:: DIE!

 

Meta X: UGH! ::charges his fist with supercharged flame:: YOU FIRST!

 

The twin ryuusei collides with the supercharged flame… Beta Y throws some more wind blades at Destiny… Destiny breaks away from Meta X, and flips twice to dodge the wind.

 

Destiny: Oh… harder than I thought… ::twin ryuusei disappears::

 

Meta X: ::chasing after Destiny:: I’M NOT DONE! DIE!! ::takes out two short swords and supercharges them:: DEATHBLOW!

 

Destiny: How troublesome… ::ryuuseis appear on his feet and hands this time::

 

Ecstasy: ::thinking and shocked:: Four ryuuseis???? What’s going on?!

 

Destiny: ::propels himself away from Meta X with the ryuusei’s on his feet:: ::The four ryuusei’s disappear as Destiny quickly jumps over Meta X and spins in the air to land right behind him:: I got you!

 

Meta X: I DON’T THINK SO! ::swings swords back::

 

Destiny: ::catches one of Meta X’s wrists and swings him into the air to avoid the other blow::

 

Wind carries Meta X safely to the ground.

 

Beta Y: Dragon wind! ::swings fans… mini tornadoes head for Destiny::

 

Destiny: Troublesome! ::large amounts of flame appear on one of his legs… and he spins in the air with his fired up leg extended multiple times:: SENPUU RYUUSEI!

 

The spinning kick cancels out the tornadoes… Destiny runs up toward Beta Y and kicks toward her head. Meta X blasts in with supercharged speed and blocks the kick for her. Destiny flips backwards multiple times to get distanced from them.

 

Destiny: This is hard… They’re perfectly synchronized…

 

Ecstasy: This is how they beat me…

 

Beta Y: We see you’re getting tired…

 

Meta X: On the other hand… we can go all night…

 

Destiny: ::definitely breathing hard:: Alright then… Ecstasy… There’s only one more thing to do…

 

Ecstasy: What’s that?

 

Destiny: Run like monkeys!

 

Ecstasy: Geez…

 

Destiny: Okay, okay… there’s another thing…

 

Meta X: Oh… and what’s that?

 

Destiny: ::points up at the sky:: Seems like someone just arrived…

 

A large spinning shadow missile lands on the rooftop at Meta X and Beta Y.

 

Meta X: Beta…

 

Beta Y: Yes?

 

Meta X: Dodge…

 

Meta X and Beta Y jump out of the way…

 

Meta X: Troubling… I wanted to kill someone today…

 

Beta Y: Me too… oh well…

 

Cuong: ::landing on the rooftop:: Ecstasy! Are you okay?

 

Ecstasy: Sure… whatever…

 

Cuong: Sorry I’m late… but I had to eat! TUBBY HUNGY! ::notices Destiny:: uhh… who are you?

 

Destiny: No one… ::disappears in the blink of an eye::

 

Cuong: Okay…

 

Meta X: ::breathing hard now… grabs heart::

 

Beta Y: ::also breathing hard… grabs heart:: Dammit… we spent too much energy…

 

Meta X: We have to go back…

 

Ecstasy: OH NO YOU DON’T! ::runs at Meta X and Beta Y… and kicks forward… the locket around Beta Y’s neck gets ripped off::

 

Beta Y: MISS!

 

Ecstasy: dammit!

 

A gust of wind blows Beta Y and Meta X away. They disappear.

 

Cuong: Crap… they got away…

 

Ecstasy: ::picks up the locket:: Huh… what’s this? ::tries to open it:: I can’t open it…

 

Cuong: umm… who knows…

 

Meanwhile… Destiny is on top of a tree… looking up at the stars…

 

Destiny: ::coughing:: I’m still sick… crap… How much time do I have left? ::lifts up shirt a little… a huge scar on his chest can be seen:: This is not good… it’s opening back up… ::thinks of Meta X:: I need to beat you quickly… brother…

 

To be continued…

T.R.A.N.C.E.

 

12th Installment: Time

 

Khoi is in his class, waiting for it to start.

 

Khoi: WHEE!

 

Teacher: ::cringes, turns around from whiteboard:: Don’t DO THAT!

 

Khoi: ::making struggling noises:: DON’T DO THAT! Or I’ll… ::shifts eyes:: cry…

 

Al walks into class… one of her arms is in a cast.

 

Khoi: GASP! SHE’S HURT! I’LL MAKE IT FEEL BETTER! ::puckers up for a kiss and leaps:: oooOOOooh!

 

Al: ::thinking, shock pulsates through body:: I sense… Danger!

 

Al ducks, Khoi trips over her and ends up crashing through a window.

 

Al: Phew…

 

Khoi: umm… phew about what?

 

Khoi is right behind her somehow and Al grabs her heart in surprise.

 

Al: ::making struggling noises:: THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE!

 

Khoi: Pff… don’t you mean unpossible? Take French!

 

Al: …do you mean take English?

 

Khoi: Meh… one of those…

 

Teacher: Sigh… Mr. Kim warned me about this… My poor window… it had three days left before retirement.

 

Khoi: So… how’d you get hurt?

 

Al: I was riding my motorcycle and accidentally fell off…

 

Khoi: oooOOOooh! Motorcycle?! LIKE IN YU GI OH! VROOM VROOM! WHEE! DONG!

 

Al: …huh?

 

Khoi: You know what I said…

 

Al: …what?

 

Khoi: Okay… now you’re just making me feel bad…

 

Teacher: Just sit down Khoi.

 

Khoi: Fine! It’s better for me anyways… you know how much my legs have to work to support my fat…

 

Al: ugh…

 

Khoi: Is that a moan of disgust or moan of pleasure? OooOOOooh!

 

Al: OBVIOUSLY DISGUST!

 

Khoi: …I’ll sit down now…

 

Later at lunch…

 

Khoi: Sigh… guys… how do you know when you’re in love?

 

Cuong: First… get your hand off my ass… Second… stay two feet away from me… Three… huh?

 

Khoi: I’ll listen to the third one… oooOOOooh!

 

Charles: …

 

Chris: Umm… yeah…

 

Khoi: So Chris! ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH ANYONE?!

 

Chris: …I was… ::looks toward the restroom in tears:: Until it betrayed me… with… HIM.

 

Two days before…

 

Chris: ::walking into the restroom::

 

Chris overhears three guys talking coming out of the restroom.

 

Guy #1: Dude… that guy is in there every break…

 

Chris: HuH? What do you mean?

 

Guy #2: There’s some guy in there who doesn’t leave during break or lunch… he’s always in there…

 

Chris: Huh?

 

Guy #3: Yeah…

 

Chris: … ::walks in the restroom::

 

Leo: ::inside a stall:: oH yes… oh yes… oh yes… ::there’s a lot of bumping noises::

 

Chris: …is that you Leo?

 

Leo: …………………………………… ::in fake womanly voice:: No… umm… this is… umm… this is… Mr……… Dragos…

 

Back to present…

 

Chris: ::with one tear in eye:: Darn you… Mr. Dragos…

 

Cuong: …right…

 

Leo: ::shifts eyes:: yeah… ::sucks on juice pack rapidly::

 

Khoi: umm… whatever… anyways! LEO! GOT SOME FRUIT ROLL UPS!

 

Leo: yes…

 

Khoi: Good… ::shifts eyes::

 

Leo: …umm… do you want it?

 

Khoi: DO I?! DO I?!

 

Seiji: NO! I WANT IT! I’ll armwrestle you for it!

 

Khoi: hmm… or… ::kicks Seiji in the nuts:: ::grabs the fruit roll up and eats it, wrapper and all:: I DID IT! I DID IT!… I… did… ::grabs stomach:: Oh… I don’t feel so good…

 

Later… Chris is in track…

 

Chris: Then… one time… I went to the restroom… and it smelled bad… but I had to go anyways… and…

 

Sri: Why are you telling us this?!

 

Chris: …I’m sorry… without my restroom… I am the shadow of what I used to be…

 

Sri: Umm… is it just me… or is Chris faster?…

 

Andrew: I don’t know… why do you ask?

 

Sri: he lapped us already…

 

Andrew: Oh… I’m Canadian…

 

Sri: Yeah, yeah, yeah… you and that Khoi guy… and your French…

 

Chris: What are the Canadian restrooms like? I long to travel and see exotic toilets!… except for those English ones… those damn whores…

 

Andrew: …

 

Even later… a monkey is somehow attacking Khoi…

 

Khoi: GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!

 

Romi: …where’d that monkey come from?

 

Khoi: oooOOOooh? ::continues to run in circles:: GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!

 

At N.O.D.A.T.S.S.T.U.P.I.D. headquarters… the mysterious boss guy has called Joule into his room.

 

Mysterious guy: Joule… we have detected another project…

 

Joule: …I see…

 

Mysterious guy: We cannot allow their forces to grow… so… I want you to recruit this one… He’s strong…

 

Joule: Okay… give me the location…

 

Mysterious guy: Also… THAT will be available soon…

 

Joule: You mean the power stealing machine we stole from Justin?

 

Mysterious guy: Yes… him…

 

Joule: Okay… now give me the location…

 

Mysterious guy: Okay… oh yes… pick me up some doughnuts while you’re at it.

 

Ecstasy is at an abandoned house… sitting and thinking.

 

Ecstasy: …they’re moving… and they’re strong… ::Looks at palm:: I gave… away those powers… but… I’m pretty sure he can be trusted to not do stupid things with them… ::looks annoyed:: DAMMIT! GIVE ME BACK THOSE POWERS!

 

Ecstasy looks down at the locket in her hand…

 

Ecstasy: …Should I force this open?… ::thinks:: It’s probably private… ::thinks:: BUT SHE’S AN ENEMY! ::rips the locket open::

 

Later on… it’s nighttime… and Khoi is lying in bed…

 

Khoi: I hope I dream about Charles tonight… oooOOOooh! Who said that?

 

Jason: … ::shudders::

 

Khoi: But seriously… I think I really like that one girl…

 

Jason: You mean the girl who took away my PRIDE! Give it up… I’m going with the conclusion that she’s a lesbian in denial…

 

Khoi: Umm… okay…

 

Jason: You know… Next time those company people attack… we shouldn’t let them get away… We should defeat them quickly…

 

Khoi: Yeah… before they hurt anyone else…

 

The next day at school… Chris is in track again…

 

Chris: ::notices someone new:: Hey, who’s that guy?…

 

Andrew: That’s a guy who just joined…

 

Brian: He’s fast…

 

Andrew: I think that he’s a pro… he has crazy times…

 

Chris: oh…

 

The new guy walks up to Chris.

 

Mateo: Hello, I’m Mateo, I just moved here…

 

Chris: Hi, I’m Chris…

 

Mateo: I see…

 

Andrew: I’m Andrew…

 

Brian: I’m Brian…

 

Mateo: I’m Mateo…

 

Andrew: uhh… yeah, we know.

 

At the end of track practice…

 

Mateo: You are pretty fast…

 

Chris: I’m okay…

 

Mateo: Yes… I was number one back in my country…

 

Chris: what country are you from?

 

Mateo: …a country… far away…

 

Chris: …okay…

 

Mateo: Well then… I’ll see you when I see you…

 

Chris: Okay… ::blinks::

 

Mateo: That means I’m going now…

 

Chris: Okay… bye…

 

Mateo goes and turns the corner… Meta X appears behind him.

 

Meta X: you’re the guy we hired?

 

Mateo: Si…

 

Meta X: I’m guessing… that you have some sort of power given to you by that company…

 

Mateo: Si… con mucho podre…

 

Meta X: Okay then… here is your mission…

 

The next day…

 

Charles runs in…

 

Charles: I GOT A VALENTINE FROM CARD GIRL!

 

Cuong runs in…

 

Cuong: I GOT A VALENTINE FROM MY SECRET LOVER!

 

Khoi: I don’t remember sending you a valentine… oooOOOooh!

 

Jon: I GOT A VALENTINE FROM RU! UGH! ::burns it and cackles:: BUT I GOT THIS ONE FROM SOME HOT GIRL!

 

Sophack: …wow… these guys… got… dates… the end of the world must be coming… better prepare… ::gets under a table and hugs the leg::

 

Khoi: Very… unpossible… oooOOOooh!

 

Ru: Yami! Wai yoo bay soo mayn…gawsh! I daun wanna masturbate alone…

 

Jon: ::shudders:: I’m going to have to suppress more memories…

 

Khoi: …oooOOOooh?

 

Cuong: ANYWAYS! RIGHT AFTER SCHOOL… and after going to my cousins for freeloading food… I’M GOING TO GO HANG OUT WITH HER! HAHAHA! SEEYA LATER! ::runs off::

 

Charles: I’M GOING RIGHT NOW! ::runs off::

 

Jon: There’s no name on mine… it just says hot girl… it better not be that crazy hobo who keeps on leaving notes and stuff on my window again… ::runs off::

 

Khoi: oooOOOooh? I’m all alone?

 

Ru: ::grabs Khoi’s arm:: Daun’t waury Khoi… we hab each uther…

 

Khoi: Umm… NO TIME FOR YOU! ::dumps Ru in a trashcan and runs away screaming::

 

After school… Khoi is about to go home when…

 

Mateo: Hola… bienvenidos… Tu llamo es Khoi… no?

 

Khoi: hee hee… he’s speaking poor people talk…

 

Mateo: WHAT THE FUCK?! I SHOULD KILL YOU FOR THAT!

 

Khoi: Huh? I wasn’t talking to you… gosh! StoOpid! Look behind you!

 

There’s a mime behind Mateo doing random things…

 

Khoi: Hee hee… look at him struggle to make a living… quiet… pale… wears black and white striped shirts… just like Kevin…

 

Mateo: …Okay… anyways… would you please come with me to the basketball courts? I have something to talk to you about…

 

Khoi: …do you have a crush on me?! Oh no… YOU’RE GAY! OooOOOooh! Who said that?

 

Mateo: No! I just have something important to tell you!

 

Khoi: Umm… who said that? ::looks around idiotically::

 

Mateo: Me…

 

Khoi: oh… hey there little guy!

 

Mateo: …ay… estupido…

 

Khoi: Hee hee…

 

At the basketball courts…

 

Mateo: Okay then… thank you for coming…

 

Khoi: oooOOOooh?

 

Mateo: Well then… I’m here… to kill you…

 

Khoi: on Valentine’s day?! How mean… oooOOOooh!

 

Mateo: Heh… do you know the story of St. Valentine? This holiday is based upon him after all…

 

Khoi: umm… ::shrugs::

 

Mateo: Lemme tell you then… There once was a man named St. Valentine… He was a doctor and a great man… He healed people despite how rich they were… despite who they were… he was loved… Then one day… a man came to St. Valentine… and asked him to help heal his daughter’s eyes…

 

Khoi: Umm… is this going to be long?

 

Mateo: YES!

 

Khoi: Oh, okay… carry on… ::sits and takes out bag of popcorn::

 

Mateo: The man’s daughter was blind… so St. Valentine would constantly rub ointment on her eyes and try to heal her… Day after day… He came to them… and rubbed the medicine on her eyes… Then you know what happened?

 

Khoi: I don’t know…. But carry on! I hope there’s sex in this story! OooOOOooh!

 

Mateo: NO! ugh… Anyways… St. Valentine was one day prosecuted for his unbiased treating of patients… and was sentenced to death… That day… when he was to die… He gave the girl a letter… That day… the girl finally opened her eyes… on that day St. Valentine was destined to die… She opened the letter and the most beautiful flower fell out… The letter said… “From your dear Valentine” and the girl saw the beautiful flower with her restored vision… and cried…

 

Khoi: ::crying:: That was… so sad… oooOOOooh! Oh well! Hey Jason! Is that story true?

 

Jason: Umm… unfortunately… that’s a fairy tale… Saint Valentine and Saint Marius actually under the reign of Claudius the second secretly married people even though Claudius had banned marriages and engagements… Saint Valentine was captured and killed as a martyr. It’s much less romantic in that sense… but… there’s many stories of Saint Valentine… So who knows… Also… Saint Valentine was a priest… not a doctor…

 

Khoi: umm… yeah… ::points to Mateo:: JASON SAYS YOU’RE FULL OF SHIT! OooOOOooh!

 

Mateo: WHAT WAS THAT?!

 

Jason: …That’s now what I said at all…

 

Khoi: Hmm… well… yeah… who said that?

 

Meta X appears…

 

Meta X: Whatever… Hurry this up…

 

Khoi: uh oh! More people! OooOOOooh!

 

Mateo: Anyways… like her eyes… with the “medicine” of that company… my eyes were reborn… You’ll see what I mean… ::takes out a very small knife with a flower inscribed in the blade:: This is my weapon… It’s all I need…

 

Khoi: oooOOOooh! Small knives… say something about… ::shifts eyes:: …umm… your size?… ::winks::

 

Mateo: NO THEY DON’T! YOU ASSHOLE! MALDITO SEA!

 

Khoi: ::transforms to Jason::

 

Jason: Whatever… let’s get this over with…

 

Mateo: Ah, I see… You’ve changed… well then… let’s go…

 

Jason: Okay… hmph… from the looks of it… you have no really strong powers… This will be a piece of cake… ::thinking:: If only it was that simple… what’s this guy hiding?…

 

Mateo: Come…

 

Jason runs at Mateo…

 

Jason: As you want! ::pops a punch at Mateo::

 

Mateo dodges, Jason spins and throws a backhand, Mateo backs away to dodge that… Jason punches forward… Mateo puts up his knife and swings it down exactly at the spot where Jason’s fist had headed. Jason’s hand gets cut badly and he flips backwards…

 

Jason: What the?! How did he dodge my moves?! His speed was absolutely normal! Nothing special at all! And how’d that knife cut me so easily…

 

Mateo: hahaha… this knife is not a normal life… while forging it… it had been folded over 1000000 times… it may be small… but it’s the sharpest weapon around…

 

Jason: It’s impossible for something to be folded that many times!

 

Mateo: Hmm… this is the heirloom passed down in my family… A family of assassins… this was constantly forged and reinforced over the years… it’s the ultimate killing tool.

 

Jason: Geez… ever hear of sniper rifles…

 

Mateo: Hmph… what use are guns to me? Hahaha… I have never been hurt… hit… shot… cut… even once…

 

Jason: …well… that’s rare… you usually never see that in a family line of killers…

 

Mateo: ha… you still have no idea what my power is do you?… hahaha… fool…

 

Jason: ::thinks:: What is it? I don’t see anything extraordinary about this guy… and something else… ::looks over at Meta X:: He hasn’t moved during this fight… as if… as if… as if… if he joins… he’ll hinder this guy… How is that possible?

 

Khoi: iono… maybe he’s just tired… oooOOOooh!

 

Mateo: Not attacking anymore?! Then I’ll come to you! ::runs at Jason at normal speed::

 

Jason: ::running to the left at a fast speed, to go behind Mateo::

 

Mateo cuts off Jason and makes a large sweeping cut, Jason backs off… a small cut appears on his arm… Mateo follows after him… Jason is about to flip backwards to dodge, Mateo flips his knife backhand and hangs it over Jason… Jason immediately aborts the flip… and jumps back to his feet. His feet doesn’t connect to the ground though… Mateo has put his foot exactly where Jason was going to put his foot… and Jason slips… and begins to fall sideways…

 

Jason: Shit!

 

Mateo: ::stabs down at Jason::

 

Jason: ::about to grab Mateo’s arm in midair to stop the attack::

 

Mateo: ::pulls back his arm before Jason can grab it… flips his knife upright and stabs forward::

 

Jason: ::thinking:: NOT GOOD! HE’S HEADED DIRECTLY FOR A KILL POINT! He’s too deep! I can’t stop him!

 

Chris: Hey… umm… Mateo… are you trying to mug Khoi?

 

Mateo and Jason get surprised and fall…

 

Jason: Chris! Get out of here!

 

Chris: Why?…

 

Meta X: ::suddenly behind Chris:: This doesn’t concern you at all… ::grabs the back of Chris’ shirt and throws him back into a fence::

 

Chris: Ow! What the? Who are you?

 

Meta X: Shut up and stay there if you don’t want to die…

 

Chris: ::getting back up:: This is stupid… who are you?

 

Meta X: ::punches Chris in the stomach… with an electrified punch, he goes down::

 

Jason: What’d you do to him?!

 

Meta X: Nothing much… but he’ll be out for a couple days… and he probably won’t remember any of this… Unlike you bitch… You’re going to die right now… Too bad it’s not by my hand…

 

Jason: Tch…

 

Mateo: Hmph… I won’t miss again… That was a fluke…

 

Jason: ::thinking:: He’s a highly trained killer, but that’s it… There seems to be no powers… but nobody is this skilled… It’s like he’s predicting my moves…is he… psychic? Wait… no… He was just as surprised as me by Chris… He didn’t predict that… but… What was that he said before? About his eyes… ::realizes something::

 

Mateo: Oy! Are you ready to die?

 

Jason: Heh… cocky bastard…

 

Mateo: What was that?

 

Jason: I got your trick… it’s pretty stupid… and predictable… and I have a technique that is perfect for defeating it…

 

Mateo: Oh… and what is that?…

 

Jason: ::begins to pop:: ::a bunch of Khoi’s pop out::

 

Khoi: Umm… oooOOOooh?

 

Khoi #2: It’s so cold out here… My nipples are getting hard! OooOOOooh!

 

Khoi #3: Can I see?!

 

Khoi #17: Me too!

 

Khoi #6: Shut up! Men are dueling here!

 

Mateo: …what will this strange thing do…

 

Jason: KHOI’S! ATTACK!…

 

Khoi: Hey… I’m the master of the swarm! KHOI’S! ATTACK!

 

All the Khoi’s oooOOOooh! ::all of them run at Mateo::

 

Mateo: Foolish… ::mateo begins to take them out easily, one by one… they disappear as they get stabbed::

 

Khoi #30: Ouchies!

 

Khoi #4: OW! YOU’RE NOT INVITED TO MY BIRTHDAY PARTY ANYMORE! OooOOOooh!

 

Mateo: ::finishes off the last Khoi:: Is that it? ::looks around shocked:: Where’s Jason?!

 

Jason is directly behind Mateo.

 

Jason: Don’t move… don’t turn around… Don’t even look this way… I’ll kill you…

 

Mateo: Shit… how?!

 

Jason: You cocky bastard… You gave me the clue I needed… your eyes… You can predict what your opponent will do before he does it… However… You have to be looking straight at him… It’s not looking into the future… It’s just that your eyesight is so good that you can see even the slightest movement of my body and guess what I’m going to do next… you must’ve killed a lot of people to gain that kind of insight…

 

Mateo: …nobody has ever gotten behind me before…

 

Jason: heh… You’re also stupid… You’re an assassin… assassinations are usually one on one… There was no way you ever killed someone skilled in a large crowd. Once you lose sight of them… it’s over…

 

Mateo: You… you… you used those clones to block my vision and you :[pic]: you! You had the clones block my side views and front views!

 

Jason: Yup… and I walked around them… the trail of Khoi’s led me straight behind you… and you didn’t notice a thing…

 

Mateo: Ugh…

 

Jason: Now then… are you ready to die?

 

Meta X: ::right behind Jason::You talk to much… Let’s see if you talk much after I rip off your head…

 

Jason: If you attack me… I’ll kill this guy…

Meta X: HAHAHAHAHAHA! DO YOU THINK I CARE?! He’s expendable!

 

Mateo: What?…

 

Meta X: Here… let me prove it to you! ::charges up his hand with supercharged flame and stabs through Jason and Mateo’s stomachs::

 

Jason: ::coughing up blood:: You… no way…

 

Meta X: ::pulls arm out and jumps backwards:: hahaha… funny idiots…

 

Jason: Crap… ::falls to ground::

Mateo: ::on ground… definitely dead::

 

Khoi: Umm… are we dying? OooOOOooh?

 

Meta X: … :[pic]: What the?… fuck…?

 

Red energy is rising from the wound of Jason… and it’s starting to heal…

 

Meta X: YOU THINK I’LL LET YOU?! ::runs with supercharged speed and kicks Jason away into the fence:: I won’t give you the time!

 

Jason: ::half trance… eyes not finished turning red:: Shit…

 

Meta X: You’ll die anyways from that wound… but… HOW ABOUT I SPEED UP THE PROCESS! ::a large amount of supercharged flame appears in his hand:: DIE! ::runs at Jason::

 

Voice: Stop…

 

Meta X stops and looks up…

 

Meta X: You again?!

 

Destiny: ::standing on top of a basketball hoop:: stop… I’ve seen enough… You kill your own comrade… You attack innocent bystanders… I’m sick of you… ::sticks up hand… blue tattoo of blue fire with wings appears glowing::

 

Meta X: Heh… you think I care about things like that… as long as I get to kill! I’M HAPPY!

 

Destiny: Then… ::tattoo begins to glow brightly:: ::looks at something… tattoo stops glowing:: Hmm… it seems… that I won’t have to fight after all…

 

Meta X: What?

 

Chris has stood up…

 

Chris: Are you okay Khoi?

 

Jason: ::bleeding a lot:: I’M NOT KHOI! AND DO I LOOK OKAY?!

 

Khoi: Hey! If you turn into me! These wounds will disappear, right?!

 

Jason: Yeah, but then that guy… ::Looks at Meta X::

 

Destiny: Don’t worry about it…

 

Jason: Huh?

 

Destiny: just watch…

 

Meta X: …hmm…?

 

Chris: I don’t know what’s going on… but… you can’t just go around hurting people…

 

Meta X: What are you going to do about it?

 

Chris: I’ll do… something…

 

In the blink of an eye… Chris has kneed Meta X in the mask… throwing him back… Chris then disappears again.

 

Meta X: ::thinking:: What the?! FAST!

 

Chris: ::running around Meta X in a circle now::

 

Meta X: Ugh! What is this?! ::starts to fire out electricity at Chris… but misses each time…::

 

Chris: ::skids to a stop and runs at Meta X::

 

Meta X: This is ridiculous! ::pulls out two katana and cuts forward… Chris appears behind Meta X::

 

Chris: ::punches Meta X a far distance away::

 

Khoi: Umm… oooOOOooh? What’s going on?

 

Destiny: heh…

 

Meta X: Strong… but how long can you keep this up?… ::gets back up::

 

Meta X is suddenly kicked straight into the air, high…

 

Meta X: What the?!

 

Chris: ::jumps high up into the air after Meta X::

 

Chris: ::appearing directly behind Meta X, they’re floating a high distance above the ground::

 

Khoi: …that looks like a naruto move!

 

Meta X: ::mask cracking a bit:: SHIT! What is this?!

 

Chris: Fighting game skill…?… ::begins to unleash an “unpossible” combo of hits on Meta X as they head towards the ground::

 

Meta X: ::thinking as getting the crap beat out of him:: It’s not just the speed of his movement! His punches and kicks are sped up too! This is bad! But if we both fall from this height…

 

Chris: ::grabs Meta X’s shoulders::

 

Meta X: ::thinking:: WHAT?!

 

Chris pushes himself off with his legs against Meta X’s body… and since he’s holding onto Meta X’s shoulders… Meta X is flipping towards the ground… They crash into the floor hard… but Chris has absorbed the shock by standing on top of Meta X’s body.

 

Chris: Wow… I got faster…

 

Khoi: We did it! WE DID IT!

 

Destiny: …don’t you mean HE did it?

 

Khoi: …shut the hell up you sonuvabitch!

 

Chris walks over to Khoi…

 

Chris: can you explain some of this to me?

 

Khoi: Sure… after… I ::shifts eyes:: “investigate” that guy’s body… ::goes over… but Meta X impossibly stands up… and he’s laughing…::

 

Meta X: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! FUNNY! FUNNY! FUNNY! ::mask is cracked all over the place:: THIS IS HILARIOUS!

 

Jason: HOW CAN ANYBODY SURVIVE THAT?!

 

Meta X: …this was funny… ::sticks up hand with glowing tattoo of a flame:: Let’s play some more!

 

Khoi: What’s wrong with this guy…

 

Chris: …

 

Destiny jumps down from the hoop and stares sadly at Meta X…

 

Destiny: …How can you enjoy killing and violence so much… with no remorse…

 

Meta X: Because… there’s nothing else to live for! Hahaha… Once I get my real heart… you’ll all die! CAUSE THEN! I’LL BE UNSTOPPABLE!

 

Khoi: real heart?…

 

Chris: I’m still confused… Hold on… I’ll be right back… ::goes to the restroom::

 

Destiny: …real heart huh…

 

Meta X: Definitely… HAHAHAHAHA! ::mask is slowly falling away…:: Humans are dirty… too dirty… You say I’m evil… I’m not the one who has killed entire races! CITIES! I’M THE ONE WHO HAS BEEN CORRUPTED BY YOUR WORLD! THOSE WHO MUST KILL AND STEAL TO SURVIVE! AND THOSE WHO LEARN TO ENJOY IT! I EMBODY THOSE PEOPLE!

 

Khoi: …

 

Meta X: Murderers… liars… robbers… politicians… students… soldiers… They’re all the same… all the SAME!

 

Khoi: What are you saying?…

 

Destiny: …

 

Meta X: hahahaha… fool… You’ll understand some day… ::mask totally chips off::

 

Khoi: ::shocked look::

 

Destiny: ::serious look::

 

Meta X: Yes… you’ll understand! Because even though you don’t realize it! YOU KILL ALSO! NO MATTER FOR WHAT REASON! YOU KILL!

 

Khoi: You… you are… ::wide eyes::

 

Meta X: ::wide smile:: Smart? Evil? I know! ISN’T IT FUNNY?! IT’S ALL TOOOO FUNNY!

 

Destiny: Don’t listen to him… He’s insane…

 

Khoi: Huh?

 

Destiny: His behaviour… changes from time to time… love to hate to sadness to jealously… he’s very unstable…

 

Meta X: AM I NOW?!… ::regains composure:: Well… then…

 

Khoi: You can’t be him! IT’S IMPOSSIBLE!

 

Meta X: Who? What are you talking about?

 

Destiny: Khoi… don’t do anything stupid…

 

Khoi: WHY ARE YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE?!

 

Meta X: …I have no idea what you’re talking about… Next time… ::wide eyes:: I WILL KILL YOU! ::runs off::

 

Khoi: …

 

Destiny: …you know him?

 

Khoi: … ::looks over at Destiny:: umm… who are you?…

 

Destiny: My name is Destiny… I’m a friend of your friend’s friend… umm… I know Ecstasy…

 

Khoi: …oooOOOooh?…

 

Destiny: Anyways… who was that guy?

 

Khoi: ::gets up and walks off:: This isn’t the time for an oooOOOooh!… That was…

 

Destiny: ::staring as Khoi walks away::

 

Meanwhile… at the abandoned house… where Ecstasy is staying… she’s on the floor laughing and crying at the same time… seems like she’s been doing it since she opened the locket.

 

Ecstasy: how ironic… heh… how… very… very ironic… haha…

 

The locket is on the floor… inside… is a picture of a little girl… and a teenage version picture of her…

 

Ecstasy: haha… Deity… so you’re that person now?…

 

Later… at N.O.D.A.T.S.S.T.U.P.I.D. hq… Meta X is getting another mask fitted to him.

 

Meta X: Damn… I lost it back there…

 

Joule: ::serious:: … you know… your actions… basically ruined my plan to recruit another one for us… I hope you’re happy… We could’ve gotten someone at the school inside their group to monitor them… instead… they got another person with power.

 

Meta X: Who cares… I’m stronger than him…

 

Joule: oh really… then why’d you get hurt so badly…

 

Meta X: I didn’t supercharge totally… next time… I’ll defeat them all…

 

Joule: Oh… you will… you’ll get a lot of chances too…

 

Meta X: Where’s beta?

Joule: She’s getting recharged… but you my friend… ::smiles evilly:: Have a different mission…

 

Meta X: oh… and what is that?

 

Two days later…

 

Khoi: ::not talking, staring into space::

 

Jon: He’s been like that for a while…

 

Charles: Yeah, it’s weird… no oooOOOooh… no nuttaps… no struggling noises… NOTHING CAN BE THIS PERFECT!

 

Cuong: I wonder what happened… maybe he tried to get that girl to like him again? And failed?

 

Later in Khoi’s class…

 

Al: Phew… peaceful at last… ::walks up to Khoi:: Hey, what’s been up with you? ::cast is gone now:: No gay attempts to hit on me… what’s wrong?

 

Khoi: I don’t want to talk about it…

 

Al: Okay, whatever…

 

Suddenly… a figure appears in the doorway.

 

Teacher: Oh! You’re here! Class… we have a somewhat new student…

 

Al: Hey… aren’t you even going to look up?

 

Khoi: Leave me alone…

 

Al: Man… are you that sad because I don’t like you?

 

Khoi: no…

 

Khoi feels someone move right in front of him… Someone slams their hand onto his table…

 

Voice: Are you going to look all sad all day? Usually you look gayer than that… indeed…

 

Al: Who are you?…

 

Khoi: ::looks up surprised:: what the…?…

 

Teacher: This is our new student who has recently come back from where?

 

Joe: Canada… I guess… ::shifts eyes::

 

Teacher: Yes… this is Joe Choe…

 

Khoi: ::doesn’t look happy, looks scared somewhat::

 

Teacher: Take the fourth seat in Khoi’s row…

 

Joe: ::walking past Khoi:: ::whispers:: Not too happy huh?… ::weird smile::

 

Khoi: ::whispering back:: No… I’m not… Joe… or should I say… Meta X…

 

Al: ::standing back and watching… she smiles::

 

To be continued…

T.R.A.N.C.E.

 

13th Installment: Dragons

 

Ecstasy has gotten up in the abandoned house she’s staying at.

 

Ecstasy: I’ll find out the truth for myself… ::walks out the door::

 

Back at School…

 

Khoi: No… I’m not… Joe… or should I say… Meta X…

 

Joe: Huh???? ::has huge bags under his eyes and looks very sick:: What are you talking about? ::sits down::

 

Khoi: oooOOOooh?

 

At lunch…

 

Charles: Uhh… guys… I walked outside… and saw… A GHOST!

 

Cuong: You mean Joe?

 

Charles: YES! THE GHOST OF JOE!

 

Khoi: oooOOOooh?

 

Charles: Umm… yeah…

 

Joe walks into the room…

 

Joe: Hey guys…

 

Khoi: AHHHHHH!! IT’S META X!

 

Joe: ::looks confused:: Huh?…

 

Sophack: What?

 

Khoi: umm… oooOOOooh?

 

Chris: …

 

Kevin: … ::smiles::

 

Joe: Yeah… I’ve been sick for a while… ::walks out the door and leaves::

 

Everybody: uhh…

 

Later, Cuong, Khoi, Jon, Charles, and Neko-chan meet up.

 

Khoi: He’s Meta X! HE’S JUST FAKING IT! IT’S UNPOSSIBLE! OooOOOooh!

 

Cuong: Umm… yeah…

 

Jon: umm… Joe’s dead right… or some sort of vampire…

 

Charles: This is probably a trick by that company…

 

Neko-chan: Meow…? I don’t know… I didn’t sense any powers coming off of him… and his aura is different from Meta X’s…

 

Cuong: Well… whatever… we should investigate…

 

Khoi: by kicking him in the nuts?

 

Cuong: Umm… no…

 

Khoi: …umm… by nuttapping him?

 

Cuong: …no…

 

Later… they go to “test” Joe…

 

Cuong: So… Joe… got any POWERS?!

 

Joe: …huh? ::eating a sandwich::

 

Charles: Yeah! Any kinda weird flame?!

 

Joe: …what are you guys talking about…?

 

Jon: ARE YOU A VAMPIRE?!

 

Joe: What?…

 

Khoi: ARE YOU SINGLE?! OooOOOooh!

 

Joe: …what?…

 

Charles: …excuse us for a minute…

 

Charles, Cuong, and Khoi go off and huddle… right in front of Joe…

 

Joe: Umm… guys?…

 

Charles: He doesn’t seem to remember anything…

 

Cuong: Yeah…

 

Khoi: I’m pretty sure I killed him back there… maybe I should poke him in the eyeball to be sure… oooOOOooh!

 

Jon: Weren’t you depressed in the last installment?

 

Khoi: ::shrugs:: oooOOOooh?

 

Joe: Look guys… I’m pretty sick right now… I just got back from… ::shifts eyes:: Canada… so… I kinda need some alone time…

 

Charles: Okay… if you’re Joe… Where’s my birthmark?!

 

Joe: Huh?! How would I know that?

 

Khoi: When was the last time I made out with someone?!

 

Joe: uhh… guy or girl?…

 

Khoi: …umm… shut the hell up you sonuvabitch! OooOOOooh! Who said that?

 

Jon: When was the last time WE kissed?!

 

Joe: …What?!

 

Jon: …never mind… I’M OBNOXIOUSLY GOOD LOOKING! ::cackles::

 

Joe: …

 

Cuong: Okay… what am I thinking of… right now?

 

Joe: I don’t know… you’re probably thinking about making a hamburger recipe deck…

 

Cuong: …damn…

 

Khoi: Okay then… I killed you… oooOOOooh! SO HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE YOUNG LADY! AND I SAW YOU YESTERDAY AS META X!

 

Joe: WHAT?! KILLED ME! META X!… What’s a Meta X?… is it delicious?… ::coughs::

 

Cuong: …

 

Charles: …

 

Jon: …Umm… do you really not remember anything?

 

Joe: …remember what? What are you guys talking about… did you sniff Charles’ exhaust fumes again…

 

Khoi: HEY! I only did that… ::shifts eyes:: fifteen times… oooOOOooh! Who said that?

 

Cuong: Umm… guys… GROUP HUDDLE!

 

They huddle again…

 

Cuong: Umm… you saw Joe as Meta X yesterday?

 

Khoi: Umm… yes… ::shifts eyes:: Did I forget to mention that?…

 

Cuong: Yes…

 

Khoi: Oh yeah… also… Chris has powers now…

 

Charles: What?! POWERS?!… are they cooler than mine?

 

Khoi: Umm… who said that?

 

Charles: …

 

Jon: Wait… if Meta X is Joe… and Joe is sitting here… and my pimples won’t go away… then… ::points to Joe:: YOU’RE META X!!!

 

Joe: …Is that a new insult going around?… You guys are messed up… I’m sick… ::walks away::

 

Khoi: Oh? Where are you going now? Off to put on a mask and attack my ass again?! MY ASS?! OooOOOooh!

 

Joe: …Dude… I’m going to go buy breadsticks…

 

Khoi: …oh… GET ME SOME TOO!

 

Cuong: ::hits Khoi on the head:: DUDE! HE MIGHT BE EVIL!

 

Charles: uhh… plus he’s sick…

 

Khoi: umm… food’s food!

 

Cuong: …that’s true…

 

In Al’s car… she’s calling someone…

 

Al: Hey… He’s back… is he… you know who?

 

Voice on telephone: Voldemort?

 

Al: NO! Is he… Meta X?…

 

Voice on telephone: Wait… Who’s back?

 

Al: ID… or someone who looks like him… is this your new plan?…

 

Voice on telephone: …Meta X is here…

 

Al: …what? How is that possible?…

 

Voice on telephone: you must be mistaken… ID and SS’s original bodies were destroyed… and used to supplement Meta X and Beta Y… that’s why they are identical… Even WE can’t bring the dead to life.

 

Al: …then how do you explain this?

 

Voice on telephone: I’ll look into it… Over and out…

 

Al: ::hangs phone up:: this is ridiculous… ::thinks of Khoi:: Bastard… I’ll get you for beating me last time… ::Phone freezes and breaks::

 

Joe walks behind the gym and sits down…

 

Joe: ::grabs chest:: Damn… I need my medicine… I hate taking pills… ::takes out some pills and takes one:: I think I’ll need two bottles of water to take this down… ::gets up to buy some water bottles::

 

Hitokiri appears in front of Joe…

 

Joe: What the?! ::grabs heart even tighter:: DON’T DO THAT!

 

Hitokiri: …who are you?

 

Joe: The question is… who ARE you? And where’d you get that cool looking sword from Final Fantasy?

 

Hitokiri: You can’t be Joe Choe…

 

Joe: Umm… how do you know my name?

 

Hitokiri: Tell me who you are…

 

Joe: Umm… you just said my name… are you playing a joke on me or something… who put you up to this? Leo? Seiji?… probably Seiji…

 

Hitokiri: I have no idea who you are… but… I can’t allow you to hurt any people… especially if you are Meta X… ::takes off sword::

 

Joe: ::backing off:: Whoa… calm down…

 

Hitokiri: If you truly are Meta X… then you have not met me before… I am Hitokiri… and I will defeat you…

 

Joe: Okay… I am Joe… I will run away now…

 

Hitokiri: Yes… we should fight… and… huH?! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!

 

Joe: ::running away:: I’M GOING TO CALL THE COPS!

 

Hitokiri: NOT THE FUZZ! ::runs away::

 

Later… Joe is walking to Barnes and Noble…

 

Joe: hehe… living at Barnes and Noble works out really well…

 

A black van pulls up beside Joe…

 

Swat guy #1: Get in the car!

 

Joe: …First a cosplay freak and now this! DAMN LEO! YOU’RE TAKING THIS TOO FAR! ::slides down the hill as the Car has to go around to reach him::

 

Joe is running behind Target… and ends up at Bath and Body Works… Several swat guys get out of the van to chase him…

 

Joe: ::looking at the bath and body works, then at the swat team, and then back and forth:: Oh well… my social life is in the crapper anyways… might as well get some bath beads… or something… ::walks in::

 

Swat guy #1: …I’m not going in there…

 

Swat guy #2: Really? They have the nicest set of lotion that will…

 

Swat guy #3: Shut up and get back in the van…

 

The swat team leaves… as a bunch of girls laugh at Joe.

 

Joe: Sigh… this is going to be hilarious to my psychiatrist…

 

Later… Khoi, Jon, Charles, Cuong, and Chris have met up at Charles’ house.

 

Khoi: Okay… this is my theory… Aliens have reborn Joe… and the company cloned him!

 

Jon: you fool! THIS IS OBVIOUSLY A PLOT BY THE VAMPIRES!… Or have they gotten to you too!

 

Spy music plays as Jon jumps on Khoi and they start to fight…

 

Charles: DUDE! They’re going to make my floor smell really bad! Turn off that music!

 

Cuong: Okay… sorry… ::turns off the spy music, Jon and Khoi stop fighting::

 

Charles: okay… how about this… the company has cloned Joe… and has placed him in our school… to spy on us…

 

Cuong: One problem with this Sherlock…

 

Charles: What’s that?

 

Cuong: …the great detective… arch nemesis moriarty?

 

Charles: ::blank stare::

 

Cuong: …worked with Watson… smoked pipes… wore that funny hat?

 

Charles: ::continues blank stare::

 

Cuong: Anyways… why would they put him to spy on us? I mean… come on… we know that he is Meta X… so isn’t it kinda weird?

 

Chris: Joe is back? That’s cool.

 

Everybody stares at Chris.

 

Chris: …Okay…

 

Cuong: It must… be… that… umm… they planted him there to attack us?

 

Jon: But… but… but… why would the vampires send Joe to attack us?

 

Cuong: THEY’RE NOT VAMPIRES!

 

Jon: So they’ve gotten to you too! ::about to jump on Cuong as spy music begins to play::

 

Charles: Stop that music!

 

Khoi: Geez… ladeedah… ::turns off the spy music::

 

Jon: ::stops::

 

Khoi: ::puts on Sherlock holmes stuff out of nowhere:: Well then… isn’t this a mystery? OooOOOooh! Who said that?

 

Charles: ::laughs and points:: Hey, it’s Sherlock Holmes!

 

Cuong: ::buries face in hands and groans::

 

Meanwhile…

 

Joe: …damn… some guy with a big sword attacks me… then a swat team attacks me… now what? Leo… I’ll get you back… I’ll put a baby crocodile in your toilet… that’ll teach you… hehehehe… ::inside Barnes and Noble on the couch, rubbing his hands::

 

Little boy: ::staring at Joe:: Mister… why are you talking to yourself?

 

Joe: Hey, shut up…

 

Little boy: You’re a sicko…

 

Joe: Indeed… wait… no I’m not!

 

The next day at school…

 

Leo: And then… I crapped out a baby alligator some how…

 

Sophack: Leo… why are you telling me this?

 

Leo: Because it’s cool!

 

Sophack: you’re sick man…

 

Khoi: Okay… so we’re all agreed…

 

Jon: ::nods::

 

Khoi: Okay… the aliens… under the supervision of the ::points to Jon:: vampires…

 

Jon: Bloody right…

 

Khoi: With the technology of the company… ::points to Cuong::

 

Cuong: ::still with his face in his hands:: gosh…

 

Khoi: ::points to Charles:: Harnessing the power of Sherlock Holmes…

 

Charles: …who?

 

Khoi: ::pointing at Chris:: has some ketchup on your face…

 

Chris: Oh…

 

Khoi: Have… cloned Joe in an effort to put a probe up my butt! MY BUTT! OooOOOooh! We’ve gone through the rabbit’s hole, people…

 

Cuong: Don’t you mean Rabbit hole?

 

Khoi: no… I mean the rabbit’s hole… oooOOOooh! Who said that?

 

Cuong: Ugh… ::buries face in hands again::

 

Joe’s sitting next to them… eating breadsticks and watching the whole thing.

 

Joe: What are you guys talking about?

 

Charles: ::screams like girl:: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN HERE?!

 

Joe: …I’ve been here since break started… like always…

 

Charles: oh…

 

Joe: yeah…

 

Charles: Indeed…

 

Joe: …STOP COPYING ME!

 

Jon: RED EYES BLACK CHICK!

 

Charles: STOP DOING THAT!

 

Khoi: oooOOOooh?

 

Cuong: Oh geez… ::buries face in hands again::

 

Joe: Geez… since I’ve been gone… You guys got weird…

 

Charles: ::getting into Joe’s face:: Did we, “Joe!” Did we?! Or maybe YOU were cloned!

 

Joe: …dude… your breath smells… get away from me…

 

Khoi: hmmz… I think we need to formulate a new theory…

 

Cuong: obviously…

 

Khoi: It was very unrealistic…

 

Cuong: ::nods in agreement:: yup yup…

 

Khoi: Everybody knows vampires and aliens have been warring since cheese got banned by Bigfoot… oooOOOooh!

 

Cuong: …sigh… ::buries face in hands again:: Will the pain never end?

 

Khoi: HONK HONK!

 

Cuong: …it will never end…

 

Later that day at Charles’ house… his phone rings…

 

Joe: Hey, wanna hang out?

 

Charles: NO! YOU EVIL META X THINGY! FROM ALIENS AND VAMPIRES!

 

Joe: …have you been sitting to close to the computer screen again?…

 

Charles: SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! WHY WON’T YOU SHUT UP?! OMG! SHUT UP! Oh… he hung up…

 

Joe hangs up his phone…

 

Joe: Geez… what was that about?… ::calls Khoi::

 

Khoi: oooOOOooh?

 

Joe: Hey, wanna go play pool?

 

Khoi: No, “joe”… or should I say… META X!

 

Joe: …what?…

 

Khoi: Oh, sorry… META X!

 

Joe: Huh?

 

Khoi: ::makes struggling noises:: Now you’re just making me feel bad!

 

Joe: Umm… indeed… ::hangs up::

 

Joe puts his phone in his pocket…

 

Joe: Well… that was odd… ::suddenly feels like he’s about to throw up:: OH SHIT! RESTROOM! ::runs into the restroom::

 

Cuong is riding in his spiffy new prelude singing offkey with a song.

 

Cuong: LALALALALALALALALALALALA! ::the stereo crackles and breaks:: Geez… why does that always happen?

 

Joe: ::waving at Cuong:: hey! Finally got your prelude?!

 

Cuong: OH crap! He saw me! ::speeds off:: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

 

Joe: …what was that about… now they’re just making me feel bad…

 

That night… at Charles’ house…

 

Charles: ::feels a bright light above his face and wakes up:: Huh?…

 

There’s a blue flame dragon right above Charles’ face… it motions for Charles to follow it.

 

Charles: Umm… I sure hope Ecstasy’s calling me for some… ::shifts eyes:: food?

 

Charles leaves and follows the blue flame dragon… it leads him out to his backyard… and stops…

 

Charles: Umm… hello?…

 

Voice: Hello…

 

Charles: ::looks around::

 

Voice: over here…

 

Charles: ::looks down at his dog:: …You can talk?!

 

Voice: Listen carefully… if you want to grow stronger… I can make that happen…

 

Charles: uhh… are you my berserker spirit? And pet dog?

 

Voice: dog? What? LOOK UP HERE YOU MORON!

 

Charles: Huh? ::looks up at his roof… Destiny’s standing there:: Umm… who are you?

 

Destiny: I am Destiny… and I have come to ask if you would like to grow stronger… ::jumps off the roof::

 

Charles: Well… I just did a crapload of training at this one island… plus… WHO ARE YOU?!

 

Destiny: I already said that I’m Destiny…

 

Charles: oh… right…

 

Destiny: Anyways… your powers are light… am I correct?

 

Charles: How do you know…

 

Destiny: Yeah… anyways… the power of light is a very hard thing to use… because light can do many many things… If I believe so… yours has already transformed multiple times…

 

Charles: ::sleeping while standing up::

 

Destiny: ARE YOU LISTENING?!

 

Charles: ::wakes up:: Yeah yeah… multiple… whatever…

 

Destiny: Sigh… anyways… I have felt it… ::tattoo on left hand glows:: Your powers will soon take on their true form…

 

Charles: true form?

 

Destiny: Yes… you must cultivate it… after a certain amount of time… powers like yours will take a familiar shape that fits your personality… as did the blue flame…

 

Charles: Umm… okay… how’d you get the blue flame powers?

 

Destiny: oh, urr… ecstasy gave them to me for safekeeping…

 

Charles: Oh, okay… I guess…

 

Destiny: Like my dragons… your light will also take on a form… you’ve been looking at your power the wrong way… you don’t choose what your powers do… unlike some of your friends… your powers determine who you are and then take a form… the Janken fighting style boosted your enough to the point where your true fighting style will emerge… Your powers basically showed you janken… now they’ll show you the next step…

 

Charles: ::sleeping again::

 

Destiny: DAMMIT! YOU FOOL! Get up!

 

Charles: Huh?

 

Destiny: We will train to awaken your hidden power… every Saturday at two, is that okay?

 

Charles: …I don’t know… that’s when I duel and watch movies…

 

Destiny: …what about Mondays after school?

 

Charles: Umm… I think I’m free then…

 

Destiny: Okay…

 

Charles: good… I’ll go get Cuong! ::about to walk off::

 

Destiny: ::grabs the back of Charles’ shirt:: Umm… no… this training is basically only for you and one other person…

 

Charles: who?

 

Destiny: Chris…

 

Charles: …umm… why can’t Cuong join?

 

Destiny: Sigh… ::rubs forehead:: HE DOESN’T NEED THIS TYPE OF TRAINING!

 

Charles: …umm… fine…

 

Destiny: This is a training style I developed while creating the ryuusei… so… you and Chris will be doing the same type of training…

 

Charles: Wait… you didn’t create the ryuusei… Joe did…

 

Destiny: Huh? What? OH! HAHAHAHA! ::nervous laugh:: Indeed…

 

Charles: And Joe says indeed…

 

Destiny: OH really?! ::nervous laugh:: SHUT UP AND MEET ME SATURDAY AFTER SCHOOL AT umm… oh shit… where should we meet?… umm… JUST COME MEET ME AT RUBIO’S! We’ll have lunch… and then I’ll take you and Chris to the training place at night…

 

Charles: why at night?

 

Destiny: YOU FOOL! YOU CAN’T LET PEOPLE SEE YOU DURING THE DAY WHEN YOU USE YOUR POWERS! So come! ::runs off::

 

Charles: …okay… ::goes back to sleep on his bed::

 

Destiny: I forgot one thing… ::sitting on Charles’ chair::

 

Charles: AHHHHHHH!! DON’T DO THAT!

 

Destiny: ::making struggling noises:: DON’T DO THAT!… anyways… don’t tell anybody about this training…

 

Charles: fine, fine, fine… whatever…

 

Destiny: Geez… why couldn’t this have gone like Chris? Just nod and say okay… then go to sleep again… gosh…

 

Destiny leaves…

 

Charles: …darn I can’t go to sleep now…

 

The next day at school…

 

Charles: I’m so tired…

 

Joe: You look sick… want some of my medicine?

 

Khoi: CHARLES! DON’T IT’S A TRICK! ::takes Joe’s medicine and throws it in the trash, then grabs Joe and throws him in the trash:: Phew… another day saved by the Khoimeister… oooOOOoooh!

 

Joe struggles to get out of the trashcan…

 

Khoi: hehe… look at evil Joe struggle… whee!

 

Joe: Why are you guys so mean to me now?! ::runs away crying, while the trashcan is on top of him::

 

Mr. Kim: Seeya later Joe! Nice to see you again! COME BACK WITH MY TRASHCAN!

 

At N.O.D.A.T.S.S.T.U.P.I.D. headquarters… Alpha Z has come with pictures of Joe.

 

Alpha Z: See…

 

Joule: …odd…

 

Alpha Z: I told you… he’s there.

 

Joule: Hmm… very peculiar… but he’s not ID.

 

Alpha Z: Why?

 

Joule: Let me let you in on a little secret… ::leading Alpha Z somewhere:: The scientists originally had great troubles building your bodies… until we got hold of ID and SS… then it became Child’s play…

 

Alpha Z: …

 

Joule: However, one scientist thought it was terrible to just take apart someone’s body…

 

Alpha Z: …

 

Joule: You fought someone with Trance… haven’t you?

 

Alpha Z: Yes… Jason…

 

Joule: hmm… yes… well… we found… that the body of ID… was not dead.

 

Alpha Z: Are you kidding me? I saw the pictures of the body… he WAS dead.

 

Joule: Yes, he WAS dead… until we noticed something… ::stops in front of a door while he’s talking:: ID had huge amounts of something stored in him… the key to making you guys real… He had awakened what Super Suave calls Trance… and that was slowly healing his wounds.

 

Alpha Z: …

 

Joule: Yes… and that is where we go the information to create the Supercharge and Fusion Charge methods…

 

Alpha Z: …I still don’t understand… why can’t he be Joe Choe?

 

Joule: ::inputs a key code into the door security system:: Because… ::the door opens:: He’s here.

 

Alpha Z: ::looks in the room shocked::

 

Joule: the last mission of Meta X… ::personality suddenly changes… face actually starts showing expression:: hahaha… I’ll give you a real heart… if you give me your body… for someone more appropriate to use.

 

Meta X: Joule… ::strapped to the wall:: What is this?!

 

Alpha Z: What’s going on?

 

Joule: Meta… your personality is too unstable… and personally… you’re very very weak… they have grown too strong for you.

 

Meta X: what was that?! ::Meta X is released from the wall::

 

Joule: I’ll give you a real heart… if you defeat a person for me…

 

Meta X: ::serious:: Who?

 

A door on the other side of the room opens up… A guy totally wrapped in bandages emerges… He’s totally hurt and can’t move well.

 

Meta X: him? That’s it?

 

Joule: That’s it…

 

Alpha Z: This doesn’t explain anything to me…

 

Joule: Just wait…

 

Meta X: heh… ::running at the injured guy:: THIS WILL BE SIMPLE!

 

Injured guy: ::catches Meta X’s head, and slams him into the ground, a glowing black tattoo appears on his back::

 

Meta X: …Such a huge supercharge mark… WHAT IS THIS?! I CAN’T MOVE!

 

Joule: heh…

 

Injured guy: Do you mind…

 

Meta X: ::looking on shocked::

 

Injured guy: This body of mine doesn’t work well anymore… can I borrow yours?

 

Meta X: What are you?!

 

The lights begin to flicker… and totally die out… Meta X screams… and the lights turn back on…

 

Alpha Z: …such power…

 

Meta X’s body is gone… just his clothes remain on the spot where he was pinned down…

 

Injured guy: ::taking off the bandages… on his back is a large tattoo of two black wings::

 

Joule: …what do you want to do?

 

Injured guy: ::turning around:: ::black flame all around him:: I want revenge…

 

Alpha Z: You are…

 

Joe: I’m Joe Choe… but that name’s nothing anymore… call me… Seph Choe…

 

Alpha Z: Wow… Joe and Seph… How original… really, it is… But if this is Joe, urr… Seph… who’s the guy at school?

 

Joule: Who knows… maybe… some sort of alien and vampire made clone? No matter… I’ve checked up on him… he’s powerless…

 

Seph: What are you guys talking about?… another Joe…

 

Alpha Z: Wait a minute… what happened to project ss then?

 

Joule: ::stops from going out the door:: ::smiles evilly:: Now Deity… I wonder… what did happen?

 

Meanwhile…

 

Destiny: So… this is how strong you are huh…

 

Charles: …I guess…

 

Chris: ::shrugs:: Here you go Charles… congratulations… ::hands Charles a custom made sweater::

 

Charles: Uhh… gee… thanks…

 

There is damage all over the ground…

 

Destiny: We’ll have to… smooth out that technique… but when it gets done… It’ll be strong… ::suddenly feels a shock::

 

Charles: Huh? What is it?

 

Destiny: …nothing… but… your janken was impressive…

 

Charles: …

 

Neko-chan watches from high above a tree…

 

Neko-chan: …Who is this guy? Destiny…

 

Meanwhile… outside of N.O.D.A.T.S.S.T.U.P.I.D. headquarters…

 

Ecstasy: Deity… are you in there?…

 

Voice behind Ecstasy: Now, that I wonder…

 

Ecstasy: ::recognizes the voice:: You…

 

Seph: Yes…

 

Ecstasy jumps back and slides off.

 

Ecstasy: So then… if you’re alive… I’m guessing Deity’s alive…

 

Seph: …perhaps… if you call THAT being alive…

 

Ecstasy: What do you mean?

 

Seph: hahahaha… Oh yes… I have to thank you though…

 

Ecstasy: You’re not answering my question…

 

Seph: Indeed… anyways… I have to thank you… For taking away that useless blue flame from me…

 

Ecstasy: What?…

 

Seph: This company has given me something much better… the black flame… ::creates a ryuusei of black flame:: I haven’t tested this on anything yet… so why don’t I test this out on you? ::the ryuusei releases from his hand and begins to circle his body::

 

Ecstasy: So then… you are the real one… Neko-chan told me that the real one would have no powers… since I had them…

 

Seph: Indeed… and I want revenge…

 

Ecstasy: Revenge against what?…

 

Seph: Against the person who killed me… no doubt…

 

Ecstasy: Jason?… you can’t be serious…

 

Seph: I’m dead serious… ::black angel wings rip out of his back:: This is my Trance… Death Berserker… ::the black ryuusei is still circling his body:: Shall we test this out?

 

Ecstasy: ::grimaces:: Berserker…

 

Seph: To kill a berserker… don’t you have to be one?… How else can I match his strength?

 

Ecstasy: Why has your personality changed so much?

 

Seph: What do you mean change?… There’s been no change… There’s only been this one me… and I’m finally set free of the restrictions you people have set upon me…

 

Ecstasy: Whatever… where’s Deity?

 

Seph: ::smiles:: SHE’S DEAD! ::rushes at Ecstasy::

 

Ecstasy: What?…

 

Seph points at Ecstasy… the black ryuusei travels into the air… and splits into hundreds of black ryuuseis… they rain down on Ecstasy.

 

Seph: Ryuusei Reign of Darkness!

 

Ecstasy: …

 

Several wind blades come… and cut enough of the black ryuuseis for Ecstasy to jump out of the way.

 

Ecstasy: What?! You? Why?

 

Beta Y: …You’re not Meta X…

 

Seph: No duh…

 

Beta Y: …you have a real heart…

 

Seph: Fucking indeed… stupid.

 

Beta Y: How can… someone with a real heart act like this? You are not Meta X…

 

Seph: I’m Seph stupid… I’m the original… I’m better.

 

Ecstasy: …

 

Beta Y: You…

 

Ecstasy: …

 

Beta Y: Get out of here… I’ll handle this…

 

Ecstasy: …fine. ::runs off::

 

Beta Y: …

 

Seph: Hmph… ::raises wings… points finger in the air… black ryuusei’s rain down on Beta Y:: Ryuusei Reign of Darkness…

 

Beta Y: …

 

A wave of red flame blocks just enough for the others to miss Beta Y.

 

Joule: Enough… We’re all on the same team, aren’t we?

 

Seph: …I guess so… Next time… ::points at Beta Y:: Don’t get in my way.

 

Beta Y: We’re not finished here!

 

Joule: ::looks at Beta Y:: If you don’t want to die… you’ll listen to orders…

 

Beta Y: Is it true?

 

Joule: What?

 

Beta Y: That while I’ve been gone, you guys killed off Meta?

 

Joule: No… while you were gone… we sent Meta X with the new assassin to take Super Suave… Super Suave killed both of them… ::walks off:: We had to get a new person to take on X’s role… I hope you understand… ::leaves::

 

Beta Y: …Super Suave… ::clenches fist::

 

Seph is sitting in a room… his wings are gone.

 

Seph: Ugh… ::grabs head:: ugh……….

 

Joule is in the Mysterious boss guy’s room again.

 

Mysterious guy: So now… we have someone with trance on our side…

 

Joule: That’s correct sir…

 

Mysterious guy: …So then… Joe Choe has been alive all this time… and you’ve kept that from me…

 

Joule: I did what I thought best sir… Joseph Choe didn’t have any powers when we received him… I thought that we should make Meta X and have him gather enough power to become a starting point for Seph’s power…

 

Mysterious guy: I understand… you can leave now… but Joule…

 

Joule: ::about to leave:: Yes sir?

 

Mysterious guy: Never keep such information from me again…

 

Joule: Yes… ::walks out the room:: Hmph… You trust too much… old man…

 

Alpha Z: So… is that why Meta was named Meta instead of Gamma?… because he was temporary?

 

Joule: You’re smart… ::hugs Alpha Z:: And totally right…

 

Alpha Z: ::hugs back:: Won’t Beta be pissed if she finds out about how Meta truly died?

 

Joule: That’s why we’re not going to tell her…

 

Meanwhile at Destiny’s training place…

 

Charles: ::has his hands at his side… inbetween them… is forming light energy… he swings it to his front and shifts the position of his hands around the ball of energy, it grows bigger… He brings it to his right side, releases the ball of energy into the air, spins twice and kicks it at Destiny::

 

Destiny: ::moves to the side to dodge it:: ::the light energy blast keeps on going and going and going:: So… then… this is your one original move?

 

Charles: Uhh… yeah…

 

Destiny: I see… well then… Now that I’ve seen all that you can do… the training for Charles can now begin…

 

Chris: …

 

Destiny: Umm… you guys don’t mind missing a couple days of school do you?

 

Chris and Charles: What?…

 

Destiny: Just kidding… but I want you to think… imagine what form your light would take…

 

Charles: okay…

 

Chris: umm… what about me?

 

Destiny: oh… I already taught you enough for today… come back next week! HERE’S A LOLLIPOP!

 

Chris: yay! ::thinks:: That wasn’t very Chris-like… ::walks off::

 

Destiny: Okay then… now that Chris’ training is over… I want you to imagine what your technique will be…

 

Charles: ::thinks::

 

Neko-chan: ::secretly watching from atop the roof:: Who does this guy think he is?… I’m a better teacher than him… hmph… ladeedah… ::thinks:: Oh fuck… the virus…

 

Meanwhile… Khoi and Cuong are thinking about the whole Joe situation…

 

Khoi: AHHH!! THERE’S ONE TOO MANY JOE’S!

 

Cuong: I know… either there’s 2 different Joe’s…. or… one Joe… who’s both Meta X and Joe…

 

Ecstasy: ::walks up to them:: Meta X is… dead…

 

Khoi: …

 

Ecstasy: He was killed… and replaced by the real Joe… who calls himself Seph now for some reason.

 

Cuong: What? Then… what about the Joe at school?

 

Ecstasy: …Joe at school?… anyways… Deity’s probably still alive too…

 

Khoi: oooOOOooh?… I’m confused…

 

Cuong: …me too… How come we’re not going to their Headquarters to smash the place up?

 

Ecstasy: Because… we don’t know what to expect…

 

Cuong: pff… that’s not a good reason…

 

Khoi: But wait… what about this “real Joe?”

 

Ecstasy: Well…

 

Ecstasy begins to explain what happened… meanwhile with Charles…

 

Charles: Is this it?! AHHHHHHHHH!!

 

Destiny: HOLY CRAP! THAT’S… WHAT THE HELL?! IT’S AS BIG AS A DRAGON!

 

Neko-chan: ::shielding his eyes:: WHAT IS THAT?! HE NEVER HAD THAT WHEN HE TRAINED WITH ME! LOUSY STUDENT!

 

Destiny: TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF!

 

Charles: I CAN’T!

 

Destiny: THEN USE IT ON SOMETHING!

 

Charles: ::turns to Destiny::

 

Destiny: WAH!! NOT ON ME! ON THE GROUND!

 

10 seconds later…

 

Destiny: Umm… next training session… we’ll work on turning that off…

 

Charles: okay…

 

There’s a huge gash in the ground…

 

Destiny: So… I’m guessing that was the true form… I guess it makes sense…

 

Charles: I’m tired… I’m going home…

 

Destiny: okay… good job! See you next week!

 

Neko-chan stays with Destiny… to follow him…

 

Neko-chan: I think I’ll find out who this motherfucker is…

 

Destiny: Why is a talking cat following me? ::stops:: I know you’re there…

 

Neko-chan: ::drops down from the roof:: Who are you?!

 

Destiny: umm… ::points:: A talking cat…

 

Neko-chan: I’M A FUCKING BERSERKER SPIRIT!

 

Destiny: Berserker spirit?

 

Neko-chan: YES!

 

Destiny: umm… okay………cat…

 

Neko-chan: …motherfucker! WHO ARE YOU?!

 

Destiny: …I am…

 

Neko-chan: yes?…

 

Destiny: OUT OF HERE! ::runs off at high speed::

 

Neko-chan: HEY! COME BACK HERE!!! YOU FUCCCCKKKKKKKEEEEERRRRR! ::takes a swig of scotch and smokes a couple puffs:: Damn… I fucking lost him…

 

To be continued…

T.R.A.N.C.E.

 

14th Installment: Vengeance

 

Khoi is in his room with Neko-chan…

 

Khoi: So… is Joe Meta X? oooOOOooh?

 

Neko-chan: I didn’t sense any power coming off of Joe though… so he can’t be… Plus the fact that Meta X got killed by ANOTHER fucking Joe… is just fucking confusing… So at the moment… there are two Joe’s…

 

Khoi: umm… who’s the real one? Or are they clones? Cause I’m pretty sure I killed him… ::shifts eyes::

 

Neko-chan: ::shrugs:: What I’m wondering about is that fucking Destiny guy… who is he?…

 

Khoi: umm… who said that? Ecstasy said that there’s a real Joe… who calls himself Seph? OooOOOooh! I’M CONFUSED!

 

The next day at school…

 

Joe: ::still sick:: Geez… so hard to stay awake…

 

Al: …so… “Joe”… what’s up?

 

Joe: …do I know you?

 

Al: No, not yet… I’m Al… nice to meet you!

 

Joe: ::sleeping::

 

Al: …bastard… ::thinks:: What’s going on… he looks exactly like Seph…

 

At N.O.D.A.T.S.S.T.U.P.I.D. headquarters…

 

Joule: sir? You called me?

 

Mysterious boss: Yes… I’ve been wondering… How have you been controlling Seph?

 

Joule: I haven’t been controlling him… He just wants revenge against the person who killed him…

 

Mysterious boss: Hmm… I see… Joule… you aren’t hiding something from me are you?

 

Joule: …no sir…

 

Mysterious boss: …Okay then… can you get me a carton of chocolate milk?

 

Meanwhile… at lunch… Destiny is standing on top of the gym surveying the school grounds.

 

Destiny: It seems my true brother has awoken… hmm… this is bad… ::feels something:: And… there’s another weird feeling… great… another dream… ::bell rings to go to class, he disappears::

 

Meanwhile… Joe is in class… sleeping… as usual…

 

Person: What do you fight for?…

 

Joe: Huh? ::in a pitch black place:: what’s going on? Who are you?

 

Person: Do you fight for yourself? Do you fight for the future?

 

Joe: Huh?… I’m confused…

 

Person: The sickness inside you grows…

 

Joe: Umm… okay…

 

Person: Why do you continue to struggle futiley?

 

Joe: huh? Umm… constipation?

 

Person: Locked away… you still fight… alone… and trapped…

 

Joe: I knew I shouldn’t have eaten that stick of butter…

 

Person: Why do you fight? Why do you struggle so? Why do you go beyond your limits?

 

Joe: Why do you keep asking questions?

 

Person: I’ll be waiting there… is that why?

 

Joe: umm… okay… sure…

 

Person: Life goes on… yet… people struggle against the wave of destiny.

 

Joe: uhh…

 

Person: If you continue…

 

The pitch black place suddenly turns into a field of flowers…

 

Person: Will happiness await?

 

Joe: …

 

Person: Or…

 

The flowers wither away into a waste land…

 

Person: will sadness?

 

Joe: …geez… this place smells like Khoi’s butt… ::shifts eyes:: Not that I… know what that smells like…

 

Person: Will we really truly exist after that?

 

Joe: umm… okay…

 

After school…

 

Cuong: ::walking:: Lalalalalala…

 

Joe appears in front of Cuong…

 

Joe: Yo…

 

Cuong: Umm… hey…

 

Joe: ::hands Cuong a piece of paper:: Give this to your friend Khoi… ::smiles:: It tells him the place where he’s going to die…

 

Cuong: Umm… yay! I mean… huh?

 

Joe: ::walking away:: Tell him that Seph will be waiting…

 

Cuong: …oh… you’re that Seph guy…

 

Seph: Indeed…

 

Cuong: okay… whatever… anyways… are you the real Joe?

 

Seph: Indeed…

 

Cuong: I see… then who’s the guy at school?

 

Seph: ::realizes something:: What?

 

Cuong: Umm… who’s the guy at school? “Seph” if that is your real name?… oh wait… it isn’t… anyways… Hold on! ::takes out a custard:: YUMMY! ::bites into it… it spills all over his shirt:: DAMN!

 

Off in the distance…

 

Khoi: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

Farther in the distance…

 

Joe: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

Back with Cuong…

 

Cuong: ::shaking fist:: Those bastards…

 

Seph: Anyways… can you give him that… tubby?… ::thinks:: Actually tell me more about this other Joe…

 

Cuong: You know… I think I’d rather just beat you here… ::flexes arm::

 

Off in the distance…

 

Khoi and Joe: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

Cuong: ::screaming at nobody:: YOU BASTARDS!

 

Seph: Who are you talking to?

 

Cuong: Nobody… umm… when’d you get there?

 

Seph is right behind Cuong.

 

Seph: You know… I don’t really feel like fighting you right now… My revenge will take a different stage… a stage which I’m very familiar with… So then… here’s my grand exit… ::points finger at the sky:: I’ll give you a taste of my new power.

 

Cuong: Umm… blue flame?

 

Seph: No… Black…

 

Black ryuuseis begin to rain down on a nearby street… Cars start to crash and explode… a lot of people begin to scream and panic.

 

Cuong: What the hell? Why’d you do that?!

 

Seph: Hmph… ::smiles:: I died before… why can’t other people? Hmm?

 

Cuong: ::shaking fist:: Bastard…

 

Seph: Ask yourself this if you learned anything from me while I was alive… should I fight this person right now? Or should I save those people who can still be alive?

 

Cuong: Ugh… You’re not the real Joe anymore… this proves it… Next time, I’ll kill you.

 

Seph: No… I’ll kill you…

 

Cuong: Whatever… ::runs off to help the people::

 

Seph: Hmph… ::walks off with his hands in his pockets:: Indeed…

 

Later… Cuong, Charles, Chris, Khoi, and… umm… Jon… meet up…

 

Cuong: And then I spilled custard over myself… and then he basically attacked innocent bystanders…

 

Khoi: joe? Attack peoples? That’s unpossible! OooOOOoooh!

 

Chris: …

 

Charles: umm… yeah…

 

Jon: I’M SUCH A SEXY BEAST!

 

Cuong: ::staring::

 

Khoi: umm… oooOOOOooh?

 

Yen: ::cough cough::

 

Jon: ::in the corner sad:: …I’m sad…

 

Cuong: Uhh… I don’t know him…

 

Yen: Why’d you guys meet up at my house? Do my parents even know you’re here?

 

Khoi: SHHH! DO YOU WANT THEM TO KNOW?! OooOOOooh!

 

Yen: … ::looks closely at Khoi:: Are you… eating our soap?

 

Khoi: ::bubbles in his mouth:: ::shifts eyes:: ::guiltily:: umm… no?…

 

Chris: Why am I here?

 

Cuong: Cause you have powers…

 

Chris: Oh, okay…

 

Yen: Cuong… I mean… we’re cousins right… but… next time you bring these guys over… ::suddenly turns really evil looking:: I’ll kill you…

 

Charles: ::screams like a girl:: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

 

Yen: I said Cuong! Not you!

 

Charles: Oh…

 

Joe: Yeah…

 

Charles and Cuong and Khoi: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!! WHY ARE YOU HERE?!

 

Joe: Chris invited me…

 

Chris: ::nods::

 

Charles, Cuong, and Khoi begin to stomp on Chris.

 

Khoi: We’re not sure who that guy is?! ::stares at Joe:: Look at him with his… ::thinks:: Hair! And… shirt! Thinks he’s better than us…

 

Yen: …

 

Cuong: Umm… Yeah… Joe isn’t our friend anymore… because there’s two of them… and… this guy, we’re not sure about… but the other Joe, who’s called Seph… said he’s real… and Ecstasy said he’s real.

 

Yen: …Just eat your custard… and stop watching cartoons… they make you… crazy…

 

Cuong: No they don’t! ::squeezes custard in anger… it spills on his shirt:: sonuva!

 

Khoi: Aww… did you get a wet dream while you’re awake? And if so… how’d it get on your shirt? OooOOOooh! Who said that?

 

Cuong: …

 

Yen: …

 

Charles: …

 

Chris: hahahhahaha…

 

Cuong: IT’S NOT FUNNY!

 

Chris: oh… ::silence::

 

Khoi: Oh wellz… ::starts to stuff fruit tarts down his throat:: ::begins to choke::

 

Cuong: uhh… Are you okay?

 

Khoi: ::muffled yes then a oooOOOooh… then he collapses onto the table::

 

Yen: …that’s it! OUT! OUT! OUT!

 

The next day outside Mr. Kim’s room…

 

Cuong: Well… I’m still confused… who’s the Joe at school if Seph is the real Joe?

 

Mr. Kim walks up…

 

Mr. Kim: Hey, if you guys are here, who’s watching my stuff?

 

Charles: Don’t worry, we got peoples in there… They’re our peoples…

 

Mr. Kim: They’re my people now! ::runs into the room… screams of Whitey and Ru are heard:: Clean my microscopes you clowns!

 

Cuong: Uhh… let us never speak of this again.

 

Khoi: That sounds like a plan!

 

Meanwhile… Joe is sleeping in class again…

 

Mysterious person: Why do you not remember? Why do you not tell them your identity?

 

Joe: …hmm?

 

Mysterious person: Your heart can’t be defeated that easily…

 

Joe: what are you talking about? My usual dreams involve eating of some sort… I don’t like this type of dream…

 

Mysterious person: You continue to fight… even when the darkness has taken over…

 

Joe: Well… okay… this is getting weirder and weirder…

 

Mysterious person: I guess that it is your destiny… your destiny… to help people…

 

Later at night… Khoi opens the message that Cuong gave him from Seph.

 

Khoi: oooOOOooh? ::plane tickets fall out of the letter:: huh?

 

The letter says:

 

You are cordially invited to attend the famous Jugan school of Fighting in Japan. You and your team of fighters will be in the tournament for a grand prize. You will be exchange students at the school for two months… Invite your team members and be sure to bring this letter as your ticket of admittance.

 

Khoi: …umm… these are plane tickets to Japan…

 

Neko-chan: Jugan school?… that’s…

 

Khoi: you know it?

 

Neko-chan: It’s a school based on martial arts… A fighting high school… It’s a normal high school on the outside… but on the inside… Students fight for supremacy and the teachers turn a blind eye to them… It’s a dangerous place. Why would Seph want you to go there?… as an exchange student…

 

Khoi: Umm… what’s this tournament thingy for a grand prize?… I hope the prize is a honeybun…

 

Neko-chan: Every year at the Jugan school… the students hold a tournament to decide something… I don’t know what it is… but it must be important for him to invite us…

 

Khoi: hmm? It says here that you need teams of three?… ::thinks:: Let’s see… Cuong… me… Charles… Chris… Jon… Umm… That’s five…

 

Neko-chan: …yeah… that’s not good… WAIT?! ARE YOU ACTUALLY GOING TO GO?!

 

Khoi: Well, I want to find out what Joe is thinking… and… I want to see for myself… whether or not he’s the real thing.

 

Neko-chan: …I see… well… there’s three tickets here… So who are you going to take with you? You’ll be gone for a couple of months…

 

Khoi: Hmmz… Well… other than me and Joe(who’s now evil)… tubby’s the most experienced… plus he’s smart… and with all the anime he’s watched, he must know some Japanese… I’ll bring him.

 

Neko-chan: then who?

 

Khoi: Hmmz… Charles would be the choice to bring… Chris seems too inexperienced right now… Jon… hmm…

 

Neko-chan: well?

 

Khoi: If something happens here… I’d rather have Charles stay… I’ll take Jon.

 

Neko-chan: I see… Well then… it seems we’re off on another fucking adventure.

 

Khoi: ::thinking:: Japan huh? That’s the perfect place to get your revenge… Seph…

 

Meanwhile at N.O.D.A.T.S.S.T.U.P.I.D. headquarters…

 

Joule: So Japan huh?

 

Seph: yes… these will be the teams… Me, Alpha, and you…

 

Joule: Oh? Trying to take the leader position from me?

 

Seph: I just put our strongest in one team for maximum efficiency…

 

Joule: I see… but why don’t we do this… Me, Alpha, and… someone… ::smiles:: and you, Beta, and… another guy…

 

Seph: …Fine… ::walking towards the base hangar:: Let’s go…

 

Joule: ::thinking:: Hmm…

 

Seph: ::suddenly feels something:: Hold on… I have something to do before we leave. ::remembers Cuong telling him about the other Joe::

 

Joule: Okay…

 

Destiny is on top of a building… seems to be waiting for something… Seph appears.

 

Destiny: I was wondering when you’d sense me…

 

Seph: Hmm… who are you?

 

Destiny: I am… Destiny… I know your plans… to take them to the Jugan school…

 

Seph: Hmm… indeed… but how do you know?

 

Destiny: you could say that our fates are intertwined… The jugan school is a dangerous place… however… you are underestimating them… They have changed since you last saw them.

 

Seph: …

 

Destiny: Why are you so mad at them? Was it not your own decision to jump in the way of that attack? Didn’t you die to save someone?

 

Seph: :[pic]: What?

 

Destiny: I will be taking my own team to the Jugan school… I will face you there… ::takes off mask:: As the true me…

 

Seph: …hahaha… so it’s you… I knew I felt it…

 

Destiny: Indeed…

 

Seph: Good… looks like I can finally kill you.

 

Destiny: Those are cold words… and I’m hungry… so can you go now?

 

Seph: I know… ::turns to leave:: Don’t disappoint me… I’ll be looking forward to our meeting at the Jugan school.

 

Destiny: Okay… but don’t do it…

 

Seph: Do what?

 

Destiny: Don’t kill anyone… until you face me…… and don’t eat the pizza in japan… it has squid on it.

 

Seph: … ::walks away:: I won’t make any promises. However… the jugan school has tons of fighters… I’m only one guy you should be worried about.

 

Destiny: …heh… you shouldn’t be lecturing me on THAT school… ::Looks to the sky:: Looks like I’ll be coming back… Mika.

 

That Monday night…

 

Charles: DAMMIT! WHY CAN’T I GO TO JAPAN WITH KHOI?!… Wait… what am I saying? Go with Khoi… ::shudders:: Imagine sharing a room together… so many honk honks! DAMN!

 

Destiny: …

 

Chris: ::nods:: Khoi’s hot, but nothing compared to Cuong… I mean… RESTROOM!

 

Destiny: But you guys ARE going to the Jugan school…

 

Charles: Huh? But only three people per team are allowed.

 

Destiny: Indeed. You, me, and Chris.

 

Charles: ????

 

Destiny: I knew what Seph was planning for a while… it’s no coincidence that I decided to train you at that point. We’re going…

 

Charles: …

 

Destiny: The jugan school is also known as the fighter’s paradise… Strong fighters from all around the world gather there. Not just normal people… ::folds hands together:: There are also… guys with powers…

 

Chris: Really?

 

Destiny: Every two years… they have a tournament at the school… I don’t know why Seph invited us… or why that company even thinks we need to be there for them to kill us… but… we should go.

 

Charles: But… isn’t it like being led into a trap?

 

Destiny: That company doesn’t care about Seph. As long as he gets you guys… they won’t give a damn. He’s in charge of their forces right now. This is the way he has decided to do things… Well… ::stands up:: You can choose to stay here… or you can go… and see what the heck your old friend is thinking.

 

Charles: …

 

Chris: …

 

Destiny: I’ll also be going with you guys… because… of my own reasons… ::pulls down mask:: ::turns face towards them:: My own reasons…

 

Charles: What the?! You are!

 

Chris: …You didn’t know, Charles?

 

Charles: OF COURSE I DIDN’T! BUT BUT BUT! SEPH IS!

 

Destiny: It’s a complicated story… which I’ll tell you guys now. The story of the death berserker… and the angelic flame spirit.

 

The next day… at the airport.

 

Jon: JAPKID IS GOING TO JAPAN! I’M A HUNTER IN THE GAME CALLED FREEDOM!

 

Cuong: Huh?

 

Jon: Oh.. umm… I’M OBNOXIOUSLY GOOD LOOKING!

 

Neko-chan: You guys… are fucking idiots… the jugan school is dangerous…

 

Cuong: well, I’m excited… It’s Japan… plus… I need to pay Joe aka Seph back for that blast he did on those innocent people.

 

Khoi: oooOOOoooh?

 

Cuong: Well then… ::points to the sky:: LET’S GO!

 

Khoi: ::slaps Cuong:: Hey! I’m the leader of this swarm! ::points the the sky:: LET’S GO!

 

Cuong and Khoi start to fight as Japkid dances.

 

Jon: lalalala! KANASHII HODO!

 

Khoi: by the way… how’d you get your mom to agree to this?

 

Cuong: Umm… I told her that I was going to buy groceries… I’m sure she won’t notice me for a couple months.

 

Khoi: Umm… okay? OooOOOOooh! Who said that?

 

Neko-chan: …Fucking idiots… meow…

 

On top of the air traffic controller tower… is Ecstasy…

 

Ecstasy: Well then… shall we go also?

 

Seiji: But I must play…

 

Ecstasy: ::grabs the back of Seiji’s shirt as he attempts to walk away:: YOU’RE GOING MOTHERFUCKER!

 

Seiji: …but… but… but…

 

Ecstasy: umm… Japan has all the newest games…

 

Seiji: ::twitch:: …LET’S GO!

 

Kevin: … ::smiles::

 

Joe is in the airport… also looking at a plane…

 

Joe: They’re all coming… heh…

 

Charles: So… are there seriously strong people there?

 

Joe: Heck yeah!

 

Chris: I’m excited to see those new toilets… from japan… and those racing games… and I want to meet that Onimusha guy…

 

Joe: Umm… you do know he’s fake?

 

Chris: no he isn’t… he’s just as real as Shaft.

 

Joe: …whatever you say… ::Joe’s suitcase has a long scarf trailing out of it::

 

Charles: umm… your destiny costume is coming out…

 

Joe: Oh… I won’t be needing it… but… ::turns to Charles and Chris smiling evilly:: We have to wear something… hee hee hee…

 

Charles: …It’s not a thong is it?

 

Joe: NO!

 

Ten seconds later…

 

Joe: Hah! ANIME STYLE!

 

Charles: …I feel… so… animeish…

 

Chris: …I don’t like this… I need my sweater!

 

They’re wearing Japanese school uniforms… Meanwhile with Khoi, Cuong, and Jon, they’re also wearing Japanese school uniforms… in some shape or form.

 

Cuong: I feel like… like… the guy from that anime…

 

Khoi: I feel like DARK! WHEE!! Or Krad… umm… you shut up! OooOOOooh!

 

Cuong: ::trying to point something out:: Umm…

 

Jon: ::crying:: I feel like… DAISUKE!…

 

Cuong: …Jon… that’s not a Japanese schoolboy uniform…

 

Jon: Huh? ::wearing Japanese school girl’s uniform::

 

Khoi: ::also wearing a Japanese school girl’s uniform:: Tee hee…

 

Cuong: AHHHHHHHHHHH!! WHY DO I HAVE TO BE ALONE WITH THESE GUYS?!

 

Back with Joe, Charles, and Chris.

 

Joe: Okay… we need a team name…

 

Charles: THE GOKUS! THE DRAGONS! THE DUELISTS! THE BLUE EYES!

 

Chris: Sunny Hills Track?

 

Joe: …How about… the… umm… bobas?

 

Charles: Bobas?! Bobas?! HOW WILL THAT STRIKE FEAR INTO THE HEARTS OF OTHERS?!

 

Joe: ::shrugs:: internet?

 

Chris: yes… bobas… is a stupid name…

 

Joe: yeah, I was just kidding… ::shifts eyes:: At least we’re not going to call ourselves the sailor scouts…

 

Back with Khoi’s group.

 

Khoi: WE WILL BE CALLED THE SAILOR SCOUTS!

 

Jon: I SECOND THAT MOTION!

 

Khoi and Jon pose in their school girl uniforms.

 

Khoi and Jon: In the name of the moon! We will punish you! WHEE!

 

Cuong: Oh man… I’m seriously going to die…

 

Back with Joe, Charles, and Chris.

 

Joe: So we’re all decided?

 

Charles: I guess…

 

Chris: ::Nods::

 

Joe: Okay… we’re the speedy… ::points to Chris:: ninja ::points to Charles:: Bobas ::points to himself:: ::raises fist in the air:: GO GO SPEEDY NINJA BOBAS!

 

Charles: …sigh…

 

Chris: I like that name, so cool!

 

Joe and Chris pose… drinking bobas…

 

Charles: WHERE’D YOU GET THOSE?!

 

Back with Khoi, Cuong, and Jon.

 

Khoi: So we’re all sexy? OooOOOooh? I mean… decided?

 

Jon: Okay… We are… the Sexy ::points to Khoi::

 

Khoi: damn right!

 

Jon: ::points to self:: Zombie…

 

Cuong: Oh man…

 

Jon: ::points to Cuong:: CREAM PUFFS!!!

 

Cuong: I NEVER SAID THAT!

 

Jon and Khoi: GO SUPER FLYING SEXY ZOMBIE CREAM PUFFS!!

 

Khoi: Our motto will be! IF A GHOST CAN WIN THE LOTTERY! WE ARE SURE TO WIN!

 

Jon and Khoi: GO SEXY ZOMBIE CREAM PUFFS!

 

Jon: WE STRIKE FEAR INTO THE HEARTS OF OUR OPPONENTS WITH OUR SEXY UNDEAD CREAM!

 

Jon and Khoi: GO SEXY ZOMBIE CREAM PUFFS!

 

Cuong: …ugh… ::barfs::

 

Neko-chan: Gosh… didn’t even ask my fucking opinion…

 

Ten seconds later…

 

Khoi: Okay… we are NOW all decided…

 

Cuong: ::still barfing::

 

Jon: WE ARE THE FURRY SEXY VAMPIRE TUBBIES!

 

Khoi, Jon, and even… Neko-chan?: GO GO FURRY SEXY VAMPIRE TUBBIES!

 

Cuong: OH man…

 

Khoi: ::saluting to nobody:: FURRY SEXY VAMPIRE TUBBIES ASSEMBLE!!

 

Jon: I AM! OBNOXIOUSLY GOOD LOOKING JAPKID!

 

Neko-chan: I AM THE FUCKING ULTIMATE BERSERKER SPIRIT!

 

Cuong: I’m really disturbed by all this…

 

Khoi: AND I’M THE EMBODIMENT OF SEXINESS! OooOOOooh! Who said that?

 

At the Jugan school Student council… they have received emails over the computer…

 

Jap guy #1: We have gotten two more teams…

 

Jap guy #2: They are the… Furry Sexy Vampire Tubbies?… and the Speedy Ninja Bobas…

 

Jap guy #1 and #2: …bakas… They’ll die.

 

Back at the airport… Khoi, Cuong, and Jon have gotten onto the airplane.

 

Khoi: Hey kitty… we won’t be facing anybody with powers right?

 

Neko-chan: Don’t worry… I’m sure that there’s nobody with powers over there…

 

Joe, Charles, and Chris are on a different airplane…

 

Joe: We will be facing strong people… physically… mentally… spiritually… Because the truth behind our powers is that anybody can have them. All they need is the amount of spirit necessary.

 

Charles: I see… how do you know all this?

 

Joe: umm… let’s just say I met someone in Canada… and we lived in Japan for a while…

 

Charles: Huh?

 

Joe: Anyways… yeah…

 

Chris: Interesting…

 

Back with Neko-chan…

 

Neko-chan: Yup, I think that we’ll be facing weaklings… so no need to go all out.

 

Khoi: okay! WHEE!

 

Cuong: ::still barfing::

 

Jon: GO GO GO GO FURRY SEXY VAMPIRE TUBBIES!

 

After a plane ride with little incident… other than Khoi attempting to jump out of the plane to prove to Japkid that he can fly… they reach Japan.

 

Khoi: We’re here! WHEE!

 

Cuong: Okay… so where’s this Jugan school?

 

Jon: …

 

Khoi: …

 

Neko-chan: …damn…

 

Cuong: …you’re kidding me…

 

Khoi: Don’t worry! I’ll ask for directions! ::goes right up into the face of a jap girl:: Hello! Where’s the Jugan school? OooOOOoooh!

 

Jap girl: AHHH! BAKEMONO! ::she slaps khoi and runs away:: (translation: AHHH! Monster!)

 

Khoi: umm… why aren’t my super suave powers working?

 

Jason: Because… I don’t know. Whatever… maybe it’s the language barrier…

 

Neko-chan: yeah… your super suave powers are transmitted through words… after you say something… their image of you grows greater. However… with this language barrier… it’s useless…

 

Meanwhile… with Joe…

 

Joe: heh…

 

Chris: I don’t get it…

 

They’re on a taxi…

 

Chris: you guys know Japanese?

 

Joe and Charles: Games and Anime…

 

Joe: Plus I took an online class on Japanese! ::starts to speak in Japanese to the driver:: (Translation: Take us to the harbor for we must make out with monkeys and fuck pandas)

 

Driver: …ano… nande?

 

Joe: Ah yes! Domo arrigato!

 

Driver: …hentais…

 

Charles: umm… Joe… did he just call us…

 

Joe: don’t worry! I have this under control!

 

Meanwhile… back with Khoi, Cuong, and Jon… it’s now 2 am at night… and they’re stuck at a train station.

 

Khoi: How could I have known that meant “I fucked your daughter many times in the ass!?” oooOOOooh! Who said that?

 

Cuong: Great… thanks to you… We have no train tickets… plus… THEY THINK WE’RE WEIRD!

 

Khoi: oooOOOooh? ::looks at a candy machine:: Maybe they’re selling honeybuns! ::looks inside:: GASP!

 

Jon: Oh yeah… they sell pizza in candy machines here…

 

Khoi: NO WAY! ::puts in money and buys a pizza:: HEAVEN! ::bites into the pizza:: Ewww… what is this? ::still chewing::

 

Cuong: They put squid on their pizzas here…

 

Khoi: SQUID?! ::still chewing::

 

Jon: …aren’t you going to spit that out?

 

Khoi: GEEZ! Wait till I’m done!

 

A girl carrying a long package with silver hair passes by them… and does a double take.

 

Japgirl: Umm… are you guys here for the jugan school?

 

Khoi, Cuong, and Jon: SHE SPEAKS ENGLISH?!

 

Japgirl: …uhh yeah… a lot of Japanese people speak English… You can almost always find one.

 

Khoi, Cuong, and Jon: …

 

Cuong: But you’re rather fluent…

 

Japgirl: Oh… I was born in Canada. I just came over here as an exchange student for Jugan. Are you guys going to that school too?

 

Khoi: HOW DID YOU KNOW?! Were we so meant to be… that she could sense our ultimate destination?! OooOOOooh!

 

Jason: those were pretty good lines… for a fag.

 

Japgirl: …what’s with him? All I did was sense your fighting strength…

 

Japgirl: Anyways… I’m Mika… Takahashi Mika.

 

Jon: I’M JON! BUT MY FRIENDS CALL ME BEAUTIFUL!

 

Cuong: ::smacks Jon in the face:: I’m Cuong Nguyen…

 

Khoi: I’m Khoi HO! OooOOOooh!

 

Mika: …ho?… doesn’t that mean…

 

Cuong: OOP! LOOK AT THE TIME! BETTER LEAD US TO THE SCHOOL!

 

Mika: …why? It’s closed now…

 

Cuong: Huh?

 

Mika: Umm… don’t you guys have a place to stay? The school doesn’t have dorms.

 

Khoi, Cuong, and Jon: …

 

Mika: ::rubbing back of her head:: Geez… you guys are exchange students with no exchange families?

 

Khoi: the who in the what now?

 

Mika: Oh geez… Fine… you guys can stay with me. I live in an inn with my grandmother.

 

Khoi: THANK YOU HOT GIRL! I’LL BE SURE NOT TO TOUCH YOU TONIGHT!… much… ::shifts eyes::

 

Mika: uhh… what did you say?

 

Cuong: NOTHING! He said… nothing…

 

Jon: No… I think he said…

 

Cuong: ::punches Jon in the face:: ::nervous laugh:: hahaha! Okay Mika! Lead the way!

 

Khoi: Oh… I get it… Cuong likes parts of her too…

 

Cuong: WHAT?!

 

Mika: ………I may regret this… but from your auras I gather that you’re not bad people… So let’s go… ::looks at khoi thinking:: What’s this weird feeling… he has two auras… and one of them… is burning red…

 

At Mika’s inn…

 

Mika: My grandmother’s probably eating with our other guests… so come on in…

 

Jon: Other guests?

 

Mika: We found this guy on the street in Canada… about your age… He was really messed up and his left hand was bleeding badly… We couldn’t leave him alone… So… we brought him with us to Japan.

 

Khoi: …Canada? Why does that sound familiar?

 

Jon: Umm… but… do you just pick up strangers off the street?

 

Mika: Heh… only ones with good auras… It’s the motto of our fighting style to always help people… Well, we took him in… and we began to teach him our style for a couple months… He just returned today… with two friends…

 

Khoi: oooOOOooh?

 

Mika: Be sure to greet my grandmother… ::opens the screen door:: HEY! I’m back!

 

Joe: Welcome… ::looks at Khoi, Cuong, and Jon:: BACK?!

 

Charles: ::piece of sushi in his mouth… he begins to choke on it:: OMG! WHAT THE HELL?!

 

Chris: Umm… ::waves:: Yo…

 

Jon: OH MY GOSH!

 

Cuong: I know!

 

Jon: THEY’RE EATING SUSHI! THE GOOD TYPE!

 

Cuong: ::hits Jon in the face again::

 

Khoi: Now Charles… what did I say about following me? OooOOOooh?

 

Charles: SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!

 

Charles and Khoi at the same time: WE’RE STAYING HERE!

 

Joe: my my… this got complicated…

 

Cuong: AHHH! IT’S EVIL SEPH!

 

Joe: I’M JOE! JOE!

 

Cuong: Whatever… all you Asians look alike!

 

Charles: CUONG! ::points to Joe:: HE’S DESTINY!

 

Cuong: WHAT?!

 

Joe: Geez… tell the whole world…

 

Khoi: wha???? Who said that?

 

Mika’s grandma: SHUT UP! ALL OF YOU! Heh? ::notices Neko-chan:: …That cat can talk…

 

Neko-chan: HUH?! HOW DID SHE KNOW?!!!! ::goes on hind legs and stands in shock::

 

Mika’s grandma: oh? ::scratches chin:: So he can talk…

 

Neko-chan: ::screaming:: YOU WEREN’T SURE?!

 

Mika: ::unwrapping the long package:: It must be a demon cat! ::it’s a sword:: I’LL EXTERMINATE IT!

 

Joe: ::grabs Mika’s arms before she can attack:: Whoa… whoa… calm down… umm… indeed.

 

Khoi: oooOOOooh?

 

Neko-chan: What the fuck?

 

Charles: SHUT UP!

 

Cuong: ::barfing::

 

Jon: ::eating the sushi:: Yay, this is fun… wait a minute… am I forgetting something?… OH NO! MASHIMARU!!!!

 

More confusion follows.

 

To be continued.

T.R.A.N.C.E.

 

15th Installment: Hair

 

The confusion has died down… and now they’re all sitting around a table on the floor.

 

Mika’s Grandma: Welcome to my Inn… aka my dojo.

 

Khoi: Umm… oooOOOooh?

 

Mika’s grandma: I take it that you guys know each other?

 

Cuong: Yeah…

 

Joe: Well… this is a very weird happening…

 

Jon: ::in the corner crying:: Mashimaro…

 

Mika’s Grandma: …what’s with him… anyways… My sense of aura is not as good as my granddaughter’s anymore… so… why don’t we have practice fights so I can get to know you?… You can all fight against my students.

 

Khoi: GASP! YOU MEAN MIKA!… Imagine how many… “accidents” can happen… ::shifts eyes::

 

Mika’s Grandma: Umm… I mean you all against Mika, Joe, and Mika’s sister when she comes back.

 

Joe: uhh… are you sure about this?

 

Mika’s grandma: yes…

 

Khoi: Awww… but we didn’t eat yet… oooOOOooh! AND THAT JOE’S EVIL!

 

Joe: I’M NOT EVIL!

 

Charles: It’s complicated…

 

Joe: Well, I found myself in Canada… somehow… I don’t remember much about what happened after you killed me… but somehow I was in Canada with my left hand and arm really messed up… So Mika’s family took me in.

 

Charles: …and that’s basically it…

 

Khoi: oooOOOooh?

 

Mika: …what’s this oooOOOooh?…

 

The screen door opens again… and another girl enters.

 

Another jap girl with short silver hair: Great… more visitors…

 

Joe: ::Twitches… backs off a little:: WELCOME BACK AYA!

 

Aya: Yo…

 

Khoi: ::hearts in eyes:: WELCOME BACK AYA!

 

Aya: …umm… yo? ::thinking:: Why is there a monkey in my house?

 

Joe: ::hitting Khoi:: YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW HER!

 

Khoi: I KNOW PARTS OF HER!

 

Khoi and Joe begin to smack each other.

 

Cuong: …great… the dream team is back together again.

 

Chris: Uhh… why do you guys have silver hair?

 

Aya: hmm?… Oh… me and my sister like to mess around with colors.

 

Mika: yup! ::her hair is now pink and black::

 

Cuong: AHHHH!! PINK AND BLACK! I LOVE YOU!

 

Jon: Mashimaro… where are you?…

 

Charles: Well… this has gotten weirder…

 

Chris: ::Nods::

 

Mika’s grandma: Okay then… umm… let’s all go to the practice area.

 

Two minutes later…

 

Mika’s grandma: okay! This is the practice area!

 

Khoi: …just like in anime…

 

They’re inside the dojo.

 

Joe: Geez… bad memories… ::begins to twitch::

 

Aya: Huh? What bad memories?

 

Joe: ::nervously:: haha… nothing… nothing… I’ll sit this out…

 

Cuong: ::thinking:: How much stronger has Joe gotten that he teaches Charles and Chris?… And what’s their fighting style? ::looks at Aya:: What’s this weird feeling… this killing intent…

 

Aya: I’ll sit this out too…

 

Cuong: WHA?!

 

Mika: Sigh… it’s all me then? Against these guys?

 

Aya: ::looking at Joe evilly:: HELP HER!

 

Joe: But she doesn’t need it…

 

Aya: ::twitch:: ::punches Joe through a wall::

 

Cuong: …

 

Khoi: …

 

Charles: …

 

Jon: …

 

Chris: hahahaha.

 

Cuong, Charles, and Jon: IT’S NOT FUNNY!

 

Chris: …

 

Joe: See! BAD MEMORIES! ::begins to shudder uncontrollably::

 

Aya: I am Joe’s teacher! I WILL NOT TOLERATE LAZINESS!

 

Joe: Teacher? Last time you said mutual partners…

 

Aya: SILENCE! ::begins to bat Joe around like a ping pong::

 

Khoi: …oooOOOooh? I’m scared… I really am…

 

Joe: Aya… umm… even though I said Mika could take them on by herself… these guys are pretty strong…

 

Aya: ::still beating Joe… stops for an instant and blinks:: Strong?… ::looks at Khoi who is now trying to touch Cuong… in… places::

 

Joe: ::bruises and bumps all over his face:: hehe… yeah… kinda deceptive…

 

Mika’s grandma: Hmm… lemme guess… you guys have “powers”…

 

Jon: THAT’S RIGHT! ::poses::

 

Cuong: …weren’t you depressed a second ago?

 

Jon: ::eyes get slanted:: Weren’t you getting touched by Khoi a second ago?

 

Cuong: ::barfs::

 

Mika’s grandma: …hmm… how silly… ::looks serious:: Don’t think that your powers already determine your victory.

 

Khoi: …

 

Mika’s grandma: You fools don’t actually believe that you’re the only guys with “powers” on the planet, do you?

 

Cuong: …

 

Charles: …

 

Chris: …

 

Mika’s grandma: All the legends you have heard… all the myths… all the monsters… They are all a product of abilities such as yours. You guys who are… ::looks up quickly and sternly:: The talented.

 

Aya: On this earth… there are people who are born with special abilities. In older times, they would be known as leaders and heroes… but in this new day and age… technology has made people ignorant to their existence.

 

Khoi: AHHH!! YOU’RE TELLING ME THAT WE AREN’T SPECIAL?!

 

Mika’s grandma: in short… you’re very common…

 

Everybody: ::falls on the floor in surprise::

 

Mika’s grandma: The Jugan school gathers all of the people like you who have large amounts of aura…

 

Jon: Aura? Isn’t that a car?

 

Charles: ::hits Jon on the head:: THAT’S ACURA!

 

Mika’s grandma: people’s auras translate in many different ways… and there have been many words for them… ki, superpowers, chi, spirit power, and several other names…. But we call it aura.

 

Joe: Basically… aura is what gave us our powers… didn’t you guys think it was weird that we got powers that were based on our personalities?

 

Khoi: Uhh… never really occurred? OoOOOOoooh!

 

Mika’s grandma: Joe told me about that company and their invitation to you… I’ll tell you something… That company stole some very important scrolls from the Jugan School in the past… scrolls that dealt with the three gates…

 

Neko-chan: ::eyes widen::

 

Mika’s grandma: That company seems to be in the business of giving naturals the power to gain powers… their methods are based on those scrolls.

 

Joe: Well… that’s how it goes…

 

Cuong: Naturals?

 

Joe: naturals are people who have no powers…

 

Charles: hahaha! Like gundam seed…

 

Mika: …right…

 

Mika’s grandma: And there’re even weirder anomalies beyond the people with auras… and those are called trances. Joe is a trance… we realized this after we took him in… another reason why we decided to train him.

 

Joe: Indeed…

 

Aya: Yeah… from that point on…. I began to train him.

 

Joe: ::twitches:: ::begins to cry::

 

Jon: ::nudges Cuong:: ::whispers:: Are they going out?

 

Cuong: man… you are so far from the truth…

 

Khoi: …Are you guys going out? OooOOOooh? Who said that?

 

Aya has put a sword right up to Khoi’s face.

 

Aya: ::looking menacing:: Do you want to grow even uglier?

 

Khoi: Ugly?! Me?! That’s unpossible!

 

Mika’s grandma: Well… after a while… Joe felt the presence of something… and decided it was time to go back to his home to see what was going on… he saw what you guys called “Meta X” and decided to hide his identity to stop any unnecessary confusion. So he became Destiny…. And of course he retrieved his aura back from that one fake aura girl.

 

Joe: Indeed.

 

Aya: haha… yes…

 

Neko-chan: …amazing knowledge…

 

Mika’s grandma: He also told me that a cat was teaching you… heh… a berserker spirit.

 

Khoi: WHOA! They know mr. Kitty cat’s secret identity! OooOOOOooh!

 

Neko-chan: IT’S MY FUCKING REAL IDENTITY!!!!

 

Mika’s grandma: ::points to Khoi:: You’re pretty sad for taking instruction from your servant.

 

Neko-chan: ::stops crying, looks up:: SERVANT?! SERVANT?! I’M A FUCKING SERVANT OF THAT GUY?! AW HELL NAH!

 

Aya: Well then… are we going to have a practice match or not… My apprentice Joe says that you guys are strong enough to take on Mika alone… I say you aren’t… so let’s see…

 

Joe: ..wasn’t it the other way around?

 

Neko-chan: ARGHHHH!! MY FUCKING STUDENTS WILL DEFEAT YOURS ANY DAY OF THE WEEK!

 

Mika’s grandma: …please stop spitting at me…

 

Joe: Well… it can’t be helped… ::gets up:: I’ll assist Mika…

 

Mika: Thank you.

 

Jon: Wait… you two want to fight us all at the same time?

 

Khoi: That’s unpossible! I’m a heavenly berserker!

 

Jason: Don’t you mean… I’M a heavenly berserker?

 

Joe: Well, I’m a angelic fire spirit!

 

Aya: …what?

 

Joe: oh no…

 

Aya: ::smacking Joe around again:: STOP CALLING YOURSELF THAT! YOUR TRANCE IS THE TWILIGHT PHOENIX!

 

Charles: …twilight phoenix?

 

Joe: well… ::bruised up even more:: That’s the official name…

 

Mika: Wait… did he just say he’s a heavenly berserker?

 

Mika’s grandma: Heavenly berserker? Never heard of such a thing…

 

Neko-chan: HA! So you haven’t heard of everything have you?! FUCK!

 

Mika’s grandma: Berserkers are usually crazy people who go insane in battle and kill with no regard for others… and they have small nuts.

 

Khoi and Jason: I DON’T HAVE SMALL NUTS!

 

Khoi: or do I? OooOOOOooh! Who said that?

 

Joe: Well… Aya will kill me if Mika gets hurt… so… let’s do a one on one fight…

 

Mika’s grandma: Hmm… okay… pick your best guy…

 

Charles: let me go! I want to test that new technique!

 

Joe: ::kicks Charles outside:: ARE YOU INSANE?! THAT TECHNIQUE WILL DESTROY THIS HOUSE! AYA WOULD KILL ME!

 

Cuong: …are you her bitch?

 

Joe: I’M NO ONE’S BITCH!

 

Aya: Stop screaming bitch!

 

Joe: Yes master… ::cries::

 

Cuong: Well… my powers will kinda damage this place too… so can’t be me…

 

Khoi: Okay then ::steps up:: IT’S BEEN DECIDED! I WILL HAVE TO… NOMINATE JON!

 

Jason: …coward…

 

Jon: Okay then! Japkid with his obnoxiously good looks will take on you! ::points::

 

Joe: …you’re pointing at the wall Jon.

 

Jon: oh… YOU! ::points to Mika::

 

Mika: ::bows:: It will be an honor to kick your ass.

 

Jon: WHAT KINDA GREETING STATEMENT IS THAT?!

 

Khoi: Geez Jon… just be glad that a girl’s going to touch you! OooOOOoooh! Who said that?

 

Mika: …what is this… “oooOOOoooh?”

 

Khoi: Shut the hell up you sonuvabitch!

 

10 seconds later…

 

Joe: Owwww…. What did I do?

 

Aya: ::shrugs:: Your gay friend insulted my sister?

 

Joe: ::rabid raccoon in his pants:: I see… ::starts running around in circles:: GET IT OUT GET IT OUT GET IT OUT!

 

Khoi: oooOOOooh? ::starts to sing:: I’m drowning in your love…

 

Jon: Really?!

 

Khoi: ::Makes struggling noises:: NOT YOU! ::kicks Jon in the nuts::

 

Jon: ::on the floor crying:: Cause everytime I breathe I take you in… and my heart breathes again… baby I can’t help it… I keep on drowning in your love…

 

Joe: STOP SINGING THAT SONG!!! YOU FAGGOTS!… where’d that raccoon go?

 

Charles: ::raccoon on his face:: GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!

 

Mika’s grandma: …are we ever going to start the match?

 

Neko-chan: HEY FAGGOTY STUDENT! GO AND FIGHT! DO IT! DO IT NOW!

 

Jon: Fine! ::gets up:: Mr. Racoon, wish me luck!

 

Charles: GET IT OFF! ::runs into a wall and gets knocked unconscious::

 

Chris: umm… well since Ru isn’t here… Awight! I’m gon git laid! ::drags Charles somewhere::

 

Joe: hahaha… ::thinks and realizes something:: CHRIS COME BACK HERE!

 

Ten seconds later… things have settled down… everybody other than Jon and Mika are sitting on the side.

 

Khoi: ::in a cheerleader uniform:: JON JON! HE’S OUR MAN! IF HE CAN’T DO IT! I’LL NUTTAP HIM!

 

Cuong: …where’d you get that uniform?!… and why don’t I have one?!

 

Khoi: ::chuckles and turns around:: A furry sexy vampire tubby must be prepared for all types of situations…

 

Jason: …sigh… I will never live this down…

 

Cuong: …

 

Joe: …furry sexy vampire tubby?… ::blinks::

 

Mika: Okay then… I guess I’ll start…

 

Jon: Okay! And now I’ll use my new technique!

 

Mika: …I just said I was going to start… but okay… go ahead…

 

Jon: Alright then…

 

Cuong: new technique?

 

Neko-chan: He has a new technique?

 

Jon: ::rips off his shirt:: LOSE YOUR WILL TO FIGHT IN FRONT OF MY AMAZINGLY RIPPED BODY! SUPER JAPKID SPECIAL TECHNIQUE! SINGLE CHEST HAIR! ::a single chest hair pops out of Jon’s chest:: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

Mika: AHHH! MY EYES! MY EYES!

 

Jon: yes! Is it not beautiful?!

 

Joe: AHHH!! MUST GOUGE OUT EYES!

 

Jon: YES YES! THE BEAUTY IS TOO MUCH FOR YOU TO HANDLE!

 

Everyone except for Khoi and Chris is running around in a panic.

 

Aya: What’s with your weird freaking friend?!

 

Khoi: ::walks up to Jon:: oooOOOooh! ::rips off the chest hair::

 

Jon: …

 

Joe: …

 

Charles: …

 

Chris: …hahahaha

 

Cuong: …

 

Jon: …AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! THE PAIN! THE PAIN! ::falls onto the floor… dead::

 

Mika: ::blinks:: Umm… you’re not dead from just THAT, are you?

 

Jon: ::gets back up:: OF COURSE NOT! HA HA HA! BLOODY CRAP!

 

Joe: Wait, what? UGH!…

 

Jon: I mean! BLOODY HELL!

 

Cuong: ::eating ramen out of nowhere:: Gosh… I though he was over the british thing…

 

Jon: ::twitch:: But I am! I’M AUSTRALIAN! WOT UP CHAP?! TIME TO CATCH A DINGO EY?!

 

Silence…

 

Jon: …You’re either supposed to laugh… or act Australian with me…

 

Khoi: oooOOOOooh! I’ll go for a third option! DONG! ::kicks Jon in the nuts again::

 

Jon: ::on the floor:: ::crying:: Why… why?

 

Aya: Geez… this match is taking too long of a time… as if the person who is writing this is stalling with funny stuff because he can’t think of what to write in the fight…

 

Joe: Indeed… what a fag…

 

Aya: ::hits Joe in the face with a backhand fist:: Who said you can talk…

 

Charles: …umm… yeah… by the way… how old are you guys?

 

Mika: I’m 16.

 

Aya: I’m 18.

 

Khoi: Hee hee… Charles, don’t even think of touching Mika… you pedophile! OooOOOooh!

 

Charles: YOU’RE THE PEDOPHILE!

 

Khoi: ::Makes struggling noises:: GOSH! SAY IT SO THE WHOLE WORLD CAN HEAR!

 

Cuong: … ::points to Joe:: What is your relationship with Aya?

 

Joe: ::crying:: Pain

 

Cuong: oh, okay! So that means she’s single, right?

 

Joe: Indeed…

 

Cuong: ALRIGHT!

 

Joe: I commend you…

 

Chris: ::nods::

 

Mika: Sigh… come on… let’s start this already… ::takes a stance::

 

Jon: Okay then… I won’t hold back! ::takes out some cards::

 

Khoi: umm… is it okay for him to use weapons like that?

 

Mika’s grandma: I’ll allow it… even though they’re just cards…

 

Jon: ::running at Mika:: WHEE!

 

Joe: ::trips Jon… Jon falls on his face::

 

Jon: WHAT?! WHAT?! WHY ARE YOU INTERFERING?!

 

Joe: Are you seriously going to use weapons against an unarmed girl who’s younger than you?

 

Jon: Uhh…

 

Joe: ::throws Mika a sword off the wall:: Okay, now it’s even.

 

Mika: I don’t think I need it… but okay… I’ll end this with one shot.

 

Jon: Not likely… cause I am the obnoxiously talented Japkid! ::running at her again::

 

Mika: ::draws the sword::

 

Aya: It’s over…

 

Charles: ::takes off his glasses:: I can see it…

 

Mika: ::swings across to make Jon jump back, she dashes in to follow… flips the sword around and swings it seemingly once::

 

Jon: ::blinks:: Where’d she go?

 

Mika is behind Jon… putting the sword back in the sheath.

 

Charles: Five slashes?

 

Jon: ::his hair and eyebrows are falling off:: …AHHH!! MY HAIR?!

 

Aya: …well that was fast…

 

Joe: ::nods::

 

Aya: ::punches Joe through a wall again:: STOP AGREEING WITH ME LIKE A MONKEY!

 

Mika’s grandma: …Sigh… do I really have to buy more walls every day like this?

 

Joe: ::crying::

 

Khoi: I really really like her… oooOOOooh!

 

Mika: What is “oooOOOooh?” Some sorta mysticaly chant?

 

Khoi: Umm…

 

Cuong: Now that you mention it… what DOES that mean?

 

Khoi: …

 

Charles: Actually… I want to know too…

 

Khoi: hahaha… well you see… it’s simple… oooOOOooh! Means… ::runs away::

 

Mika’s grandma: …okay… I think then that I’ve seen enough… You all should go to sleep… There are plenty of rooms… Mika will show you to them.

 

Mika: Okay, follow me…

 

Khoi: ::suddenly still there:: oooOOOooh!

 

Cuong: ::grabs heart:: ACK! WHERE’D YOU COME FROM?!

 

Khoi: …umm… who said that?

 

Jon: My hair… even my chest hair… MY MANLY CHEST HAIR!

 

Charles and Cuong hit Jon on the head.

 

Charles: Never mention that again!

 

Joe: Well, I think it’s time for me to go sleep… lalalalala… ::trying to walk away… but isn’t moving anywhere:: Umm… I think I’m caught on something… WAH!

 

Aya is grabbing the back of his shirt.

 

Aya: Where do you think you’re going? Roommate?

 

Khoi: roommate?!

 

Joe: Umm… I thought that I would sleep in a different room today… ::trying to run away even faster::

 

Aya: NO YOU DON’T! ::beats the crap out of Joe again and drags him off::

 

Khoi: hmmz…

 

Cuong: What was that about?

 

Khoi: hmmz…

 

Chris: hahahaha… ha?

 

Khoi: Hmmz… a guy and a girl… in the same room… at night… as roommates… hmmz… I better do some… investigating… oooOOOooh!

 

Cuong: Wait, what?

 

Khoi: oooOOOooh!

 

Cuong: No, the part before that…

 

Khoi: ooo!

 

Cuong: No! BEFORE THAT!

 

Khoi: o?

 

Cuong: NO!… geez… never mind.

 

Khoi: WHEE! I DID IT! I DID IT!

 

Charles: did what?

 

Khoi: Umm… who said that?

 

Jon: Huh? ::his hair has somehow grown back::

 

Khoi: SHUT THE HELL UP! ::runs off flapping his wings:: I CAN FLYYYYY!

 

Chris: Umm… I need to do some “investigating” of my own… ::shifts eyes and runs into the restroom… everybody hears Chris giggle as the toilet flushes over and over again:: Oh baby… your swirl is… is… magnificent…

 

Cuong: …weirdoes… See, this is what happens when viets mix with other races…

 

Charles: yup…

 

Cuong: Weird freaks… come on Charles… let’s duel in the dark and pretend we’re in the shadow realm!

 

Charles: Okay! We’re so cool! Then later! We can pretend we’re gundams!

 

Cuong and Charles look at each other… then look down in shame and walk off.

 

Jon: …can I join?

 

Cuong and Charles: NO!

 

Jon: Awww… but, but, but… I’m so lonely… MASHIMARO! WHERE ARE YOU?!

 

Later that night… outside of Joe and Aya’s room…

 

Khoi: I wonder… what’s going on in there… I think it’s my duty as a friend to see if Joe is evil… and if he’s doing… something… ::shifts eyes:: oooOOOoooh! ::goes up to the door to listen::

 

There’s a lot of moaning and grunting noises…

 

Aya: FASTER! FASTER! GET DOWN LOWER! LOOOOWWWEEER!

 

Joe: I’M AS LOW AS I CAN GO!

 

Khoi: …GAH! I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE! ::opens up the door a little to see inside::

 

Joe is doing pushups while Aya is on his back sitting…

 

Aya: That’s only your five hundredth push up! YOU GIRL! GET DOWN LOWER! LOWER!

 

Joe: My arms hurt… ::crying::

 

Aya: ARE YOU CRYING AGAIN?! THAT’S IT! AFTER THIS! YOU HAVE TO DO FIVE THOUSAND PAIN CURLS!

 

Joe: What are pain curls?

 

Aya explains it…

 

Joe: PLEASE! NOT THAT!

 

Khoi: …sounds… painful… oooOOOooh? Aww… I should’ve known better than to expect Joe to be doing something with a hot girl… other than getting beat up… ::shifts eyes::

 

The next morning… everybody is outside and in their uniforms.

 

Cuong: okay! Let’s go to that Jugan place!

 

Mika: ::walking outside with normal clothes on:: Umm… we don’t have school today.

 

Cuong: Huh?! But… but… but… where are Joe and Aya?

 

Mika: they’re on their daily training routine… hee hee… they’re so full of love… ::shifts eyes:: Kinda…

 

Joe runs by… with Aya sitting on one of his shoulders…

 

Aya: FASTER! FASTER! YOU CALL THAT RUNNING?!

 

Joe: ::whispering under his breath:: Geez… wouldn’t hurt for you to lose a couple pounds…

 

Aya: WHAT WAS THAT?!

 

Joe: I mean… indeed…

 

Charles: umm… was that Joe… just now… running… with a girl sitting on top of his shoulder…?

 

Mika: Yes… it’s mutual training… it’s like extreme weight and endurance training for him while my sister gains a better sense of balance.

 

Khoi: Okay! WE should do that too! Come on Mika! OooOOOooh!

 

Mika: Umm… okay…

 

Khoi: ::jumps onto Mika’s shoulder… she falls on the ground:: aww… this ride isn’t fun…

 

Mika: ::gets back up automatically and takes out a sword:: I will kill you…

 

Khoi: umm… AHHHHH!! ::runs away with Mika chasing after him::

 

Mika’s grandma: ::observing the whole thing:: Hmm…isn’t this odd…

 

Chris: What is?

 

Mika’s grandma: nothing… nothing… forget I said anything…

Neko-chan: ::thinking:: Dammit… that old lady is trying to show me up… I’LL SHOW HER WHO’S THE BEST FUCKING TEACHER IN THESE HERE FUCKING ASS PARTS!

 

Cuong: Sigh…

 

Neko-chan: Alright… YOU FAGS! GATHER AROUND!

 

They don’t move…

 

Neko-chan: Okay! Cuong, Jon, fag… we will do some more heavy training in preparation!

 

Khoi: But we’re already strong…

 

Jon: ::nods::

 

Neko-chan: Ugh… fine! Fucking FINE! MEOW ALL YOU ALL! MEOW!

 

Khoi: …can you be a bunny instead of a cat?

 

Neko-chan: NO!

 

Khoi: Well, ladeedah! OooOOOooh!

 

Neko-chan: ::points to Jon:: HOW’D YOU LOSE SO FUCKING BADLY YESTERDAY?! I THOUGHT YOU WERE A SEXY BEAST?!

 

Cuong: No… I’m the sexy beast… he’s just obnoxiously handsome…

 

Neko-chan: WHATEVER!

 

Jon: Well… I didn’t use all of my techniques against her… ::nods::

 

Cuong: …yeah… cause you got defeated so quickly…

 

Jon: ::sobs:: ::then runs around in circles:: ARGHARHGAGHARHAGAHRAGHAARGG!

 

Cuong: uhh… yeah…

 

Joe: ::running by again, sobbing…:: Help me…

 

Aya: ::smacking Joe around some more as he runs:: FASTER! FASTER!

 

Khoi: Yeah! FASTER! OooOOOooh! ::spanks Cuong::

 

Cuong: What the hell?!

 

Khoi: Umm… nice ass?

 

Cuong: Thanks… I have been working out…

 

Khoi: ::pokes Cuong in the stomach:: Obviously not enough… oooOOOooh!

 

Cuong: NOT THE FAT!

 

Khoi: ::makes struggling noises:: But it’s so jiggly! Hee hee! OooOOOooh! Who said that?

 

Charles: Well… hey! Mika… when do we have to go to school?

 

Mika: Tomorrow…

 

Charles: I see… well right now… will you fight…

 

Chris: ME! ::out of the restroom with toilet paper trailing from his pants::

 

Charles: …geez…

 

Mika: … ::staring:: Are you… stealing our toilet paper?

 

Chris: ::shifts eyes:: I WILL NOT STAND HERE AND LISTEN TO YOUR ALLEGATIONS! ::a bunch of rolls of toilet paper fall form his sweater:: … ::looks surprised:: How’d those get there?! I’ve been framed!

 

Neko-chan: What will it prove if that guy fights her? He’s not even my student… ::looks over at Charles and Chris:: ::thinks:: What is this feeling… their auras are…

 

Mika’s grandma: ::watching them:: Chris Sap?… huh… hmm…

 

In the dojo area… again…

 

Chris: Please go easy on me…

 

Mika: Aren’t you going to take off that sweater?…

 

Chris: And reveal my naked self?

 

Cuong: …Chris… you’re wearing a shirt under there… right?

 

Chris: Umm… sure… ::shifts eyes::

 

Meanwhile… where Joe and Aya are…

 

Aya: ::senses something:: It seems as though another one of your friends is going to try and fight Mika…

 

Joe: ::stops… Aya gets off:: Who?

 

Aya: Your friend with the weird restroom loving problems…

 

Joe: I see… Chris… they should be pretty evenly matched…

 

Aya: …well… your other friend lost pretty badly last time…

 

Joe: Yeah… but… the furry sexy vampire tubbies…

 

Aya: ::smacks Joe on the head:: WHAT’D YOU CALL ME?!

 

Joe: No! That’s their team name! Anyways… Cuong would have been even with her… if Jon had been serious from the start… he wouldn’t have lost so badly… Jason…

 

Aya: Jason?

 

Joe: You don’t want to know… anyways… Jason wouldn’t lose…

 

Aya: How could you be so sure?

 

Joe: …because… he’s most likely the strongest out of all of us… ::thinks:: How much stronger has he grown since I last saw him fight…

 

Back at the dojo…

 

Mika: ::sword in hand:: Let’s go…

 

Chris: Okay…

 

Jon, Charles, and Cuong: GO ROCK LEE!

 

Chris: ?… rock lee?

 

Mika: DON’T LOOK AWAY! ::rushes at Chris… swings down her katana at his head, Chris dodges in the blink of an eye… and instantly appears behind her:: what?!

 

Mika’s grandma: Oh? Fast… however…

 

Mika: ::throws her sheath off the ground to spin herself back to Chris… and swing her katana sideways at him::

 

Neko-chan: HE HAS NO GROUND TO DODGE!

 

Cuong: HE’LL DIE!

 

Jon: ::screams like a girl:: AHHHHHHHHHH!!

 

Chris spins in the air, and knocks away the sword by hitting it on the side.

 

Neko-chan: He used momentum to dodge the strike!

 

Chris: ::lands on the ground… and goes into a dash position::

 

Mika: ::picks up her sword… and sticks it out from her body perpendicularly in a defensive position::

 

Chris rushes forward with blinding speed… Mika crouches down low… and swings her sword sideways… It looks like she’s hit Chris… but Chris appears behind her…

 

Chris: Hey. ::behind her, kicks up::

 

Mika: ::gets kicked to the otherside of the room… she rebounds herself off the wall and lands on her feet:: Not bad… but… I haven’t been using my full strength…

 

Chris: Huh?

 

Mika: ::goes into a strange yet familiar sword stance… holding the edge of the hilt in one hand… and putting her other hand out in front… as if to guide the tip of the blade… in a stabbing motion::

 

Charles: That’s…

 

Cuong: umm… ::points:: Isn’t that…

 

Mika’s grandmother: It’s a technique that was created by a famous shinsengumi captain… it is a stab and a slash sideways… if they manage to dodge the stab to the side… they’ll just walk straight into a sideways slash…

 

Cuong: Then it is! That’s… THE GATOTSU!

 

Mika’s grandmother: …what’s a gatotsu?…

 

Neko-chan: …Please stop embarrassing me…

 

Mika: Let’s go! ::rushes forward in the sword stance::

 

Chris: ::dodges to the side::

 

Cuong: you idiot!

 

Mika swings to the side…

 

Chris: ::jumps backwards but the front of his sweater gets cut… he barely dodges:: Phew… ::slides on the floor a bit… and skids to a stop:: Guess I can’t hold back either…

 

Mika: Huh?

 

Chris: ::takes off his sweater::

 

Cuong: Huh?… why’d he do that?

 

Chris: ::drops the sweater on the floor… it makes a loud thud… then it leaves a large crack in the floor::

 

Neko-chan: …what the…

 

Cuong: umm…

 

Charles: uhh… Rock Lee?

 

Jon: WHOO! TAKE IT OFF! TAKE IT ALL OFF!

 

Cuong and Charles hit Jon on the head.

 

Chris: Good… now I can move better…

 

Cuong: ::thinking:: Chris was fast before… how much weight was that?

 

Chris: ::looks at Cuong:: It was about… 200?

 

Cuong: wha????! How’d you fit that much weight into a sweater?!

 

Chris: ::shrugs:: Anyways… ::gets into a running stance:: let’s continue. ::blasts off… footmarks begin to be smashed into the floor… Chris is running so fast that he can be barely seen::

 

Charles: Whoa…

 

Cuong: …

 

Jon: …

 

Chris starts to run around Mika in a really fast circle…

 

Mika: Hmm… ::looking around:: That’s stupid… all I have to do is this! ::swings down at a random point in the circle to stop Chris from running… Chris jumps up to the ceiling and uses his legs to propel himself down at Mika… He flips in midair to kick the her arm down… and he then uses his arms to propel himself up and kick her up in the air::

 

Chris: ::puts both of his arms as far back as he can:: DOUBLE IMPACT! ::punches forward with both his hands… and keeps her up in the air with the two really fast blows:: ::jumps up into the air… and does a backwards swinging kick:: LEAF SPINNING WIND!

 

Charles: ::eyes get slanty:: Looks like Joe’s been teaching him some weird stuff…

 

Cuong: Yeah…

 

Jon: ::stars in eyes:: So cool!

 

Mika: ::sighs and grabs Chris’ kick:: I’m not done! ::throws Chris into a wall::

 

Chris: ow… ::on the floor::

 

Mika’s grandmother: Enough… this was the worst showing of fighting I have ever seen…

 

Cuong: Huh?

 

Mika’s grandmother: So many random blows… and such speed with no idea how to use it… terrible…

 

Chris: ::sweatdrop trickles down face::

 

Mika: ::rubbing her neck:: He did quite a number though…

 

Charles: …she’s almost perfectly fine…

 

Mika: I think I’ll go take a bath now… ::walks outside of the room and closes the door:: ::grabs her arm… there’s a large bruise on it from where she catched Chris’ kick:: It may have been a random fighting style… but… it sure hurt…

 

Inside the room…

 

Mika’s grandmother: You would greatly benefit from learning a fighting style…

 

Chris: Huh?

 

Mika’s grandmother: As you are now… you couldn’t even scratch some people… if your opponent was Aya… you would be on the floor right now with a second to live.

 

Chris: …

 

Mika’s grandmother: …sigh…

 

Charles: I thought he did well.

 

Cuong: yeah… I’m not sure I could do that much… ::thinking:: I would’ve won… I think…

 

Jon: Umm… guys… have you noticed… where’s Khoi?

 

Charles: …yeah… I haven’t seen him in here…

 

Mika’s grandmother: It looks like… he’s gone somewhere… anyways… ::points to Chris and Jon:: you two… your powers are not like the other’s… You must depend not only on your power, but on your fighting skills.

 

Jon: …Hey… you’re right… BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

Mika’s grandmother: That’s why I’m going to tell Aya to train you guys… but… ::rubs back of head:: She probably won’t listen to me… so… you guys should go and beg her to train you…

 

Chris: Umm… ::nods::

 

Jon: WHAT?! WHAT?! WHAT?! JAPKID BEG! NEVER! BUT I WILL GET ON MY KNEES AND PLEA! ::runs off::

 

Chris: Uhh… I’ll go too… ::runs off also::

 

Mika’s grandmother: hmph…

 

Neko-chan: Whoa, whoa, whoa… WHOA! Why the fuck are you helping us? Aren’t your students also going to the tournament? Why would you want to make us fucking stronger?

 

Mika’s grandmother: Heh… you got a dirty mouth… for such a little guy… anyways… what’s the point of winning such a tournament… if you don’t have strong opponents… plus… ::looks serious:: If those two entered as they are now… they would die…

 

Neko-chan: …

 

Mika’s grandmother: I can tell by just sensing their auras… they’re the newest ones of you who have emerged… ::points to Cuong and Charles:: You two… should learn from the cat?

 

Neko-chan: Huh?!

 

Mika’s grandmother: Your knowledge of fighting seems to be limited… but your knowledge of powers and creating techniques… seem to be very good… You should be teaching those two.

 

Neko-chan: NOBODY FUCKING TELLS ME WHAT TO DO! Hmph! Come on Fat boy and Whitey! Let’s go!

 

Charles: I’M NOT WHITEY!… although the sun is my enemy… along with… ::shifts eyes:: salsa…

 

Meanwhile… with Joe and Aya…

 

Aya: Hurry up…

 

Joe: ::carrying a ton of groceries:: ::crying:: Why do I have to carry all these?

 

Aya: Because… since you’re the one who brought all these people… you have to feed them! I expect you to cook a nice dinner today! That last meal was crap!

 

Joe: Geez… I SLAVED OVER A HOT STOVE FOR THIS?!

 

Aya: By the way… I’m broke… you’ll have to pay for all this…

 

Joe: ::cries even more::

 

Khoi pops out of nowhere…

 

Khoi: hello! OooOOOooh! Who said.!

 

Aya socks Khoi in the face…

 

Aya: What do you want?

 

Khoi: ::rubbing nose:: You… didn’t even let me finish my sentence… son of a…

 

Aya: What was that?!

 

Khoi: oooOOOooh? Anyways… I need to borrow… ::shifts eyes:: Joe? Or… ::shifts eyes:: I’ll… touch Jon?

 

Joe: fine! Gosh… ::gives Aya some money and walks out of the grocery store with Khoi::

 

Aya: HEY! Where are you going?!… ::picks up a random little kid:: Carry these groceries… okay? ::smiles::

 

Little kid: But I don’t want too…

 

Aya: ::sticks her face right up the little kids and smiles creepily:: OKAY?!

 

Khoi and Joe walk on the streets.

 

Khoi: Geez… what’s her problem?

 

Joe: Well… she’s really a nice person, once you get to know her…

 

Khoi: Anyways… I though you liked Deity… oooOOOooh! Who said that?

 

Joe: Huh? No… we were just childhood friends. I didn’t like her like that…

 

Khoi: Oh wellz… so… are you really the real Joe?…

 

Joe: Perhaps… I don’t really know myself… so… why don’t we find out…? I want to fight that Seph guy… and see… the truth for myself…

 

Khoi: oooOOOooh? Okay… Oh wellz… it doesn’t really matter whether you’re real or not… as long as you act like the real thing… DONG! ::kicks Joe in the nuts::

Joe: ::on the floor:: You bastard!

 

Khoi: oooOOOooh? Anyways… do you like Aya?…

 

Joe: ::sweatdrop:: No… I kinda like Mika though… Aya causes too much pain… ::cries::

 

Khoi: I see… oooOOOooh?

 

Joe: Well… since we’re on different teams… we may end up fighting each other also… so, don’t hold back when that time comes.

 

Khoi: ::nods:: And you better not touch me… in… ::shifts eyes:: inappropriate places… or I’ll… call the cops… ::shifts eyes::

 

Familiar voice: Oh great… the fag…

 

Khoi: ::twitch:: IT’S MY LOVE! ::turns around::

 

Al: DON’T TOUCH ME! ::kicks Khoi in the face::

Joe: You?… what are you doing here?

 

Al: I’m an exchange student…

 

Joe: … ::looks at her suspiciously:: Really…

 

Khoi: ::looks at her excited:: REALLY?!

 

Al: ::smiles:: Yup…

 

To be continued…

T.R.A.N.C.E.

 

16th Installment: The Test of Death

 

Khoi, Cuong, Jon, Chris, and Charles are standing in front of the jugan school.

 

Cuong: Well… here it is…

 

Chris: I wonder if Seph is inside…

 

Charles: I wonder if he’s the real Joe…

 

Jon: I wonder if the classes are hard…

 

Khoi: I wonder if they sell honeybuns… ::everybody stares at Khoi:: Stop staring at me you perverts!

 

Charles: YOU’RE THE PERVERT!

 

Khoi: ::laughs:: now now… don’t make me pants and rape you…

 

Charles: …wait… what?

 

Khoi: umm… I love you?

 

Jon: Whatever… it’s time to go into the school! CHARGE! ::runs into the wall of the school and gets knocked out::

 

Chris: ::goes in through the door along with everybody else:: Should we pick him up?

 

Cuong: hmm… no…

 

First class of the day…

 

Teacher: Alright class… we got some new exchange students here… this is Tae Bo, Kong Nin, Charred Hymn, Kiss Crap, and japkid?

 

Jon: YES! ::rips off school uniform:: I AM THE MIGHTY MIGHTY JAPKID! FEAR MY AWESOME SEXINESS!

 

Cuong: and… umm… ::Looks at the Japanese students staring at Jon:: I’m not Kong Nin… I’m Cuong Nguyen…

 

Chris: I’m Chris Sap…

 

Charles: I’m Charles Huynh…

 

Khoi: I’m Tae Bo… you can call me Khoi… oooOOOooh! ::goes up to a random Japanese girl:: Who said that?! ::stuffs his face right up to hers::

 

Japgirl: …AHHHHHHHH!! ::punches Khoi out the window::

 

Second class of the day… Joe and Aya’s class…

 

Joe: These guys are my friends from the U.S.

 

Cuong: ::bows head:: Yoroshiku…

 

Khoi: ::bows head:: oooOOOooh!

 

Chris: ::bows head:: …

 

Jon: ::rips off shirt, then bows head… then gets nuts tapped by Khoi::

 

Charles: ::bows head:: Hahaha… these guys don’t know English… I can say whatever I want… You’re all gay!

 

After class…

 

Jap guy #1: ::pounding Charles:: WE CAN SPEAK ENGLISH!

 

Jap guy #2: YEAH!

 

Jap girl #3: HI YAH! ::flying Kick to Charles’ crotch::

 

Khoi: YEAH! ::taking a piss in the restroom::

 

Third class of the day… Aya is leading them around…

 

Cuong: umm… I just noticed but… aren’t Japanese school systems different than this? Don’t teachers move from class to class?

 

Aya: Shut the fuck up. We’re just visiting each class to introduce the foreign exchange students…

 

Cuong: Okay…

 

Fourth class of the day… Mika’s class…

 

Mika: This is Jon… he’s staying at my house…

 

Jon: I AM JON! ::runs around to the students:: LOOK AT MY PIMPLES! THIS ONE’S NEW!

 

Jap guy #2: …ano sa…

 

Jap guy #3: …baka.

 

After all the classes that day…

 

Jon: Phew… I’m tired… and hungry… LET’S GO DO KARAOKE!

 

Joe: You fools… we have to go visit the guys… in the tournament… thing…

 

They go around to the back of the school… There are tons of tough looking, normal looking, dangerous looking, jock type looking, and a wide variety of people.

 

Guy #1: Hey… these guys are going to be in the tournament?

 

Guy #2: heh… they’re cocky… thinking they can just come to our school and fight in the tournament…

 

Guy #7: What’s with their team names too?

 

Joe: Hey! SHUT UP!

 

Guy #20: Hey, it’s Joe… he’s back… pff… You can’t tell us to shut up!

 

Aya: HEY! SHUT THE FUCK UP!

 

Silence…

 

Girl #3: Hmm… Aya… you’re in the tournament… who’s on your team?

 

Aya: …my sister and Tohru.

 

Girl #3: I was sure he’d be on your team… ::points to Joe::

Joe: umm… indeed.

 

Aya: Whatever.

 

Khoi: oooOOOoooh! Look at all these sexy people for me to touch!

 

Utter silence…

 

Jap guy #50: Who the fuck is that guy?

 

Jason: Gosh…

 

Cuong: ::looking around the crowd:: I don’t see Seph or anybody… but does this school have this many people?…

 

Mika: Sure…

 

A small looking guy and a big looking guy come out from the crowd.

 

Karate guy #4: Hey… shut up… it’s Hamtaro and Sousuke…

 

Sousuke: ::the big guy:: ::looks around::

 

Chris: Who’s he?

 

Aya: He’s the winner of last year’s tournament…

 

Charles: What’s this tournament about anyways? We’ve had some pretty bad info…

 

Mika: The tournament is about gaining access to a room of the school that’s sealed off… it’s rumored that it holds some sorta… precious thingy…

 

Charles: …but… why’s that important?

 

Mika: ::points to Sousuke:: Last year… his aura was close to my sister’s… but now… he has triple her capability… something in that room made him impossibly strong…

 

Joe: Also… his opponent in the finals last year… was none other than Aya herself.

 

Aya: …

 

Joe: She lost because of some very crappy…

 

Aya: That’s enough. Anyways… it’s not just the room… You gain control of the school basically.

 

Sousuke: Alright… the start of the new Jugan tournament will begin… remember that this tournament is not for the faint of heart… If someone here is about to die from a fight… and I’m not in time to save them… they WILL die.

 

Seph: …heh… that’s fine by me…

 

Cuong: SEPH! That bastard!

 

Sousuke: ::turns around to Seph:: Who are you?

 

Seph: Don’t mind me… continue…

 

Aya: ::staring at Seph:: Is that the guy you told me about?

 

Joe: Yeah…

 

Aya: … ::thinking:: This weird aura around him… berserk… a berserker… but different… he has control of it… but… he’s not controlling it like how that fag does… by making it a beastial form and using his willpower to achive his goals… He’s controlling it by fear… What can make a berserker spirit fear something…?

 

Khoi: Seph! OooOOOOooh! I’LL NUTTAP YOU FOR SURE!… and then eat some honeybuns… THEN NUTTAP YOU AGAIN!

 

Sousuke: ::coughs:: Excuse me… but would you new guys please pay attention… You wouldn’t want to get hurt… ::stares at Khoi::

 

Khoi: …Stop staring at my dick you pervert! OooOOOooh! Who said that?!

 

Sousuke: … ::walks over to Khoi:: It seems that I should set an example for all the new students of this school…

 

Aya: Back off Sousuke…

 

Sousuke: Aya… hmm? Why are you with these guys? Anyways… ::muscles suddenly burst and grow much bigger… his shirt rips off…::

 

Khoi: oooOOOooh! How sexy!

 

Sousuke: You have no idea what you got yourself into… you ::looks at Hamtaro::

 

Hamtaro: He’s a furry sexy vampire tubby…

 

Sousuke: You furry sexy vampire tubby…

 

Khoi: umm… Jason? Should we be worried?

 

Jason: I don’t know… but I definitely beat him… in sexiness and strength… cause… I’m Jason…

 

Khoi: Aww… how cute… anyways! OooOOOooh! ::looks at Sousuke:: So… watchu wearing?

 

Cuong: ::smacks his own head in frustration:: Oh boy…

 

Chris: haha… his shirt ripped off… he’s going to have to buy a new one…

 

Charles: …Why is that funny?

 

Chris: Cause… ::millennium sweater glows:: I will get those millennium braces!

 

Charles: Huh?

 

Chris: Umm… just kidding… haha… get it? Ho ki oh?

 

Charles: …no…

 

Chris: …darn you…

 

Aya: Hey you guys, shut up… this might be interesting…

 

Seph: ::watching from the opposite side:: Sousuke huh?… he’s just muscle with no brain…

 

Sousuke: Now then…

 

Hamtaro: Uhh… sousuke… shouldn’t we be commencing with the tournament guidelines?

 

Sousuke: That can wait… ::gets into a martial arts position:: ::breathes in deeply::

 

Khoi: Umm… ::poses like a supermodel and breathes in deeply:: Come and get it big boy! OooOOOooh! Who said that?

 

Sousuke: Urgh… Disgusting exchange student… I’LL CRUSH YOU! ::punches at Khoi::

 

Aya stops the fist with one of her fingers…

 

Aya: now now… you don’t want to get me mad…

 

Sousuke: Move away… I beat you once… I can do it again…

 

Aya: See… that’s the difference between you and me…

 

Khoi: What is? Boobs?

 

Aya: NO! The difference is… with this one finger… ::Looks serious:: I can rip out your entire arm bone…

 

Sousuke: ::remains neutral:: Heh… try to do it in the tournament… ::backs off::

 

Hamtaro: phew…

 

Khoi: HEY THERE LITTLE GUY! Meet my mini me! ::trying to push Cuong to Hamtaro::

 

Cuong: HEY STOP! I’M TOO EMBARRASED! ::blushes::

 

Charles: uhh… Cuong?

 

Cuong: Oh right… DON’T TOUCH THE FAT!

 

Khoi: ::Makes struggling noises:: THEN WHAT CAN I TOUCH!… ::looks over to the side:: HEY LOOK! A SQUIRREL! Hee hee… what a bushy tail… that fag…

 

Mika: …Did you just call a squirrel a fag?

 

Khoi: DUH! What kinda animal that sucks nuts into it’s mouth isn’t a fag!

 

Chris: ::nods::

 

Mika: uhh… whatever…

 

Sousuke: Sorry for that interruption… the tournament rules are very simple… for now… You will all be contacted with matches and locations for your matches. You will face rival teams… and if you make it through the first round of fighting… then we will meet in the arena…

 

Jon: Arena?…

 

Sousuke: The arena where the one on one competitions will be held… try your best not to die… ::walks off::

 

Seph: Wait for the matches?… hmm… why wait… when I could just kill you all right now… and take that prize by force?! ::black flame surrounds him:: Oh well… ::black flame disappears:: I’ll do things your way… for now… ::points to Khoi:: You better hope that we don’t fight during the first rounds… You’ll regret it.

 

Khoi: I can’t regret something that is unregrettable! OooOOOooh!

 

Joe: Wait… what?

 

Khoi: umm… the what what in the what what?

 

Joe: …whatever.

 

Later… back at Aya’s house…

 

Aya: Sousuke doesn’t need to fight in the first round… He’s seeded because he won the tournament last year.

 

Khoi: ::nods:: he sure was sexy… oooOOOooh! But not as sexy as Neko-chan!… in bunny form…

 

Joe: So… how was your guys’ classes?

 

Chris: They were okay… kinda hard.

 

Cuong: yeah… do they really expect us to work?!

 

Jon: LET’S GO KARAOKE!

 

Joe: Shut up! And sit down! SHUT DOWN!… yeah…

 

Charles: lame…

 

A mail man arrives…

 

Mail man: Special delivery for Mr…. Furry sexy vampire tubbies?

 

Khoi: I’m Mr. Furry Sexy Vampire tubby! Now gimme the letter! Oh boy oh boy oh boy… I hope it’s coupons! Or… a… check… of some sort… for ten dollars… so I can… buy coupons off a hobo! ::shifts eyes::

 

Cuong: ::read the letter::

 

Khoi: Aww… I wish I could read…

 

Jon: …You can read…

 

Khoi: ::makes struggling noises:: You don’t know that!… Damn Cuong… showing me up… AFTER ALL THE THINGS I’VE DONE TO HIM! THIS IS HOW HE REPAYS ME?!

 

Joe: Don’t you mean things you’ve done “for” him?

 

Khoi: … ::shifts eyes:: I know what I said…

 

Cuong: It says here… that we have a match on top of a karaoke building… tomorrow at noon… against the…

 

Aya: ::Reads it:: The bokutou team? The wooden sword people?… hmm… I think they have a guy on their team who’s really strong… his name is… Kenta… Kenji… kenta Kenji.

 

Jon: Well then… I guess… we’ll have to pay him a visit… ::shifts eyes:: oooOOOooh! Who said that?!

 

Khoi: ::jumps up and down in anger:: STOP STEALING MY LINES!

 

Chris: Hee hee… he’s jumping up and down like a monkey… ::mimics a monkey to Charles:: You know… the human like thing that’s an ape and has a tail and…

 

Charles: I KNOW WHAT A MONKEY IS!

 

Khoi: AYYAH!

 

Cory: ::outta nowhere:: JACKIE! WE MUST DO RESEARCH! ::runs off::

 

Cuong: …okay… that was odd…

 

Aya: Sigh… I’m going to buy some food… come on Joe… Pay for it.

 

Joe: …NO! I’M TAKING A STAND! I CAN’T LET YOU BOSS ME AROUND ANYMORE!

 

Cuong: Joe… she already left…

 

Joe: Crap… ::Runs after her:: WAIT FOR ME!

 

Charles: …sigh…

 

Khoi: umm… HONK HONK?!

 

Charles: DON’T TOUCH ME!

 

Khoi: Gasp! He screamed at me! I’m telling your mom on you! OooOOOooh!

 

Charles: So?

 

Khoi: …umm… I love you?

 

Charles: …

 

Khoi: Fine I lied… I only love parts of you…

 

Jon: Anyways… we have a match tomorrow… Charles! What’s card girl’s number?! I NEED SOME MORE CARDS!

 

Charles: ::smiles with chinky eyes:: Her name’s Olivia…

 

Khoi: Umm… whee?

 

Jon: I didn’t ask for her name! I ASKED FOR CARDS! ::starts to shake Charles:: GIVE ME CARDS!

 

Khoi: umm… I think he’s in lala land? OooOOOooh!

 

Charles: ::drooling… eyes glazed… still chinky… smiling::

 

Cuong: …odd…

 

Mika: What’s with him? ::walking into the room::

 

Cuong: I don’t know…

 

Khoi: umm… I think I’ll take him into my room… and try to snap him out of it… ::shifts eyes:: I’ll “investigate…”

 

Charles: ::automatically regains himself:: DON’T TOUCH ME!

 

Jon: Wait a minute… OUR MATCH IS ON TOP OF A KARAOKE BUILDING! LET’S GO KARAOKE AFTERWARDS! KANASHII II HODO ITARE DASHITE!

 

Mika’s grandma: What’s that horrible shrieking noise? ::Looks at Jon:: I see…

 

Khoi: By the way Jon… in battle tomorrow… we should wear our school girl uniforms to throw them off by our sexiness… Can you believe I’m a size 4? ::smiles proudly:: ::poses::

 

Jon: Yes! That’s the perfect strategy!

 

Khoi: ::somehow has the skirt on already:: WHEE! ::spins with the skirt on::

 

Cuong and Charles: ::covering their eyes:: OH GOD! Please no! PLEASE!

 

Chris: :[pic]: haha…

 

Meanwhile… Joe and Aya are at a restaurant… ordering an insane amount of food.

 

Joe: Geez… ::suddenly spots Kevin on the sidewalk:: …what the? Isn’t that Kevin? Oh well…

 

Aya: What do you want to eat?

 

Joe: Umm… soba noodles will be fine…

 

Aya: ::smacks Joe:: What?! You think I’m stingy?! Buy something more expensive!

 

Joe: geez… that hurt… fine… how about some high quality sushi?

 

Aya: ::smacks Joe again:: Do you think I’m made outta money? Have something with beef! Beef!

 

Joe: ::cries:: But aren’t I the one paying for all this?

 

Aya: The guy is always supposed to pay!

 

Joe: But we’re not even going out or anything like that… plus… that’s just a stereotype!

 

Aya: Damn… you saw through my plan… ::smacks Joe again:: Oh well! I guess you won’t have to pay… hey look! ::points in a random direction:: I should check that out! ::runs out of the store::

 

Joe: Wait!

 

Store owner: Your food is ready… ::hands Joe the bill::

 

Joe: ::cries:: I’m totally… totally… broke now… and I wanted soba noodles…

 

(Joe note: Soba is good! Except for today… today’s was kinda nasty…)

 

The next day, after school…

 

Khoi: Time to go to the first match! WHEE!

 

Chris: you guys should be careful…

 

Khoi: DON’T WORRY! If things go bad… I’ll stuff my cat up their ass!

 

Neko-chan: yeah, he’ll… wait, what?!

 

Cuong: Hey guys… we have a couple hours before the match starts… what should we do?

 

Jon: KARAOKE!

 

Chris: …I’m going to leave now… ::takes off running::

 

Jon: GO GO FURRY SEXY VAMPIRE TUBBIES!

 

Khoi: go go nuttap! ::kicks Jon in the nuts::

 

Jon: ::on the floor crying:: Why? ARARAGHAHARHARHAHAHRAHGAHRAH!

 

Cuong: Anyways… let’s check out some of the arcades…

 

Khoi: uhh… we don’t have money…

 

Cuong: Okay… let’s go visit the cherry blossom trees…

 

Khoi: uhh… it’s not the season? OooOOOooh!

 

Cuong: Okay… let’s go visit a shrine like in anime and pretend to do… animeish… type… thingies…

 

Khoi: Like this?! ::runs into traffic:: I CAN FLY!

 

Khoi causes a chain of car crashes… but comes out fine…

 

Jon: …

 

Cuong: …

 

Khoi: pff… stupid crappy drivers… you should learn to dodge me! OooOOOooh!

 

Later on… at a authentic ramen restaurant.

 

Khoi: Yum… just like Naruto! ::takes a bite:: UGH! WHAT IS THIS?!

 

Cuong: …Khoi… you’re chewing on Jon’s hair…

 

Khoi: Oh… I see…

 

Jon: yeah… so can you stop chewing now?

 

Khoi: ::Makes struggling noises:: WAIT TILL I’M DONE!

 

A guy walks by their table…

 

Kenji: Hmm… you’re the foreigners, right?

 

Cuong: Uhh… yeah…

 

Kenji: Hi, I’m Kenji…

 

Khoi: oooOOOooh! You’ve grown little guy! You’re even bigger than Seiji now!

 

Kenji: …umm… anyways… ::looks confused:: I’m Kenta Kenji, captain of the bokutou team…

 

Cuong: Hi, I’m Cuong… this is Jon… and THAT is Khoi… and we’re… sigh… the furry sexy vampire tubbies.

 

Kenji: I see… ::looks even more confused:: I will pay for your meal. I want you to be full for the match today.

 

Cuong: Really?! Thanks!

 

Kenji: No problem… So you’re Aya’s friends right?

 

Khoi: well, duh! Do you know her?

 

Kenji: yes… I faced her in a match once… she defeated me easily with her family’s swordsmanship style… my swordsmanship was put to shame that day.

 

Khoi: …the who in the what now?

 

Kenji: Anyways, I believe I’ve gotten better since then… It was very frustrating to lose to a girl whose primary techniques are not derived from the sword.

 

Cuong: Wait… Aya’s family style is not just about swords?

 

Kenji: Yes… it’s about a lot more… swordsmanship is just one of the key factors.

 

Khoi: oooOOOooh?

 

Kenji: hmm… anyways… let me give you a piece of advice. If you face Aya’s team… forfeit immediately… You can lose one round of the preliminaries and still make it to the finals. It’s better than losing a teammate for a month and having no chance at the finals.

 

Jon: Hey! We’d win!

 

Kenji: Uhh… yeah… sure… anyways… I gave the waitress the money… So I’ll be going now… see you guys tonight.

 

Khoi: Okay! I’LL BE READY TO GRAB YOUR ASS!

 

Kenji: …wait, what?

 

Khoi: I’LL BE READY TO CAB YOUR BASS?!

 

Kenji: …you’re weird… ::walks out::

 

Khoi: No! YOU’RE WEIRD!

 

Cuong: He’s gone Khoi…

 

Khoi: …I know… why wouldn’t I know?! ::makes struggling noises:: OH look! ::begins to prance around:: I’m the magical man! Oh look, I’m making people happy! And now I’m going to go to my house built of candy on lollipop lane! ::runs out the door:: ::pops head back in:: By the way… I was being sarcastic…

 

Cuong: He really needs to stop copying the simpsons…

 

Jon: KHOI’S THE MAGICAL MAN?! WHY DIDN’T ANYBODY TELL ME?!

 

Meanwhile… at another match that was taking place in an alley…

 

Contestant #1: No, stop! You guys have won already!

 

Seph: SHUT UP! ::the contestant explodes in black flame:: If you’re weak, you don’t deserve to live…

 

Beta Y: Wow… I didn’t even have to do anything… of course… if I was fighting… you wouldn’t have had to step in either…

 

?????: Probably so…

 

Seph: Hmm… I don’t know why Joule wanted us to bring you along… After all, he was the one who almost killed you.

 

?????: And… you were the one who beat me… don’t worry… I’m just looking for opportunities to kill the both of you… if I have to help you along the way… then so be it.

 

Seph: hmm… I wonder why my team consists of Beta Y and you… whatever…

 

Matches are taking place all over town… secretly… many teams have already lost. However, there is one team that is not satisfied with just defeating the opposing team… they are only satisfied when there is nothing more to attack. They are…

 

Seph: This Vengeance team is coming out quite nicely…

 

Beta Y: What a gay name… like wrestling…

 

Back with Khoi…

 

Khoi: ::walking on the street with Cuong and Jon:: You know… I can nail every one of these guys!

 

Cuong: You mean girls?

 

Khoi: ::shifts eyes:: I know what I said…

 

Jon: ::looking in the glass display of a store:: LOOK GUYS!

 

Cuong: What is it? Anime?

 

Jon: NO! IT’S! IT’S! A TOY DUEL DISK! I MUST HAVE IT! YOU JUST CAN’T GET STUFF LIKE THIS IN THE U.S.!

 

Cuong: Actually Jon… they’ve been…

 

Jon: ::shoves Cuong to the ground and runs in:: GIMME GIMME GIMME! ::gets it and runs out:: ::puts it on! BWAHAHAHAHAHA! NOW THEN! SEE MY HOLOGRAMS! ::turns it on::

 

The two sides clip together… and the calculator turns on with 8000 on there… very ghettoly…

 

Jon: COME OUT! MY VAMPIRE LORD!

 

Cuong: Pff… nothing compared to my vampire lord!

 

Khoi: Nothing compared to my… sexiness? OooOOOooh! Who said that?

 

Jon: ::puts the card on the duel disk… nothing happens:: …hmm… I guess my shadow powers are not yet strong enough… ::sad look::

 

Cuong: Or maybe that’s a plastic rip off of the anime version that was made for little kids.

 

Jon: You’re just a hater! BECAUSE YOU WANT ONE TOO!

 

Cuong: Psh… yeah right… ::looks nervous::

 

Khoi: oooOOOooh!

 

Neko-chan: ::coming out of nowhere:: A toy duel disk… hmm… that might come in handy…

 

Jon: huh? What?! A TALKING CAT!

 

Neko-chan: I’M NEKO-CHAN!

 

Jon: …oh… right… of course you are…

 

Neko-chan: Anyways… your new powers are really unstable… this might prove useful in making them more… uh… useful to you… just let me fidget with it a bit! ::takes the duel disk and runs off:: BE AT THE KARAOKE PLACE IN TIME FOR THE MATCH!

 

(Joe note: QUIZ TRIVIA TIME! WHICH TWO POPULAR TRANCE CHARACTERS HAVE DIED IN THE PAST YEAR?! If you guessed Joe and Necro, you were wrong… they were never popular.)

 

Khoi: Aww… I want a duel disk too…

 

Cuong: You have no money…

 

Khoi: Or do I? ::rubs chin::

 

Cuong: uhh… you don’t…

 

Ten minutes later at the bank.

 

Khoi: ::in womanly voice:: Hello, I’m Mr. Kim… I’d like to cash in this check for 30 dollars.

 

Banker: okay Mr. Kim, I’ll punch this up… what’s your first name…

 

Khoi: ::pause:: ::in womanly voice:: ………………I… don’t know…

 

Later…

 

Cuong: You should’ve known that wouldn’t work… you copied that from the simpsons!

 

Khoi: Did I Cuong? Did I? Or maybe you just WANTED me to copy from the simpsons! OooOOOooh!

 

Jon: He… took my duel disk… and where’s mashimaro! ::sobs:: AND AMANDA KISSANDHUG! I NEED AMANDA KISSANDHUG!

 

Khoi: Geez Jon… I’m right here…

 

Later on… they’re FINALLY at the karaoke place… on the roof top.

 

Khoi: Geez… where’s that cat… oooOOOooh!

 

Neko-chan comes running up…

 

Neko-chan: Here’s your disk thingy…

 

Jon: ::screams like a girl:: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! THAT’S NOT A DUEL DISK!

 

It looks like a duel disk… except now… it’s silver and black…

 

Neko-chan: Man! FUck you! I spent some time makng this! Now shut the fuck up and use it!

 

Kenji: Playing with toys, are we?

 

Khoi: oooOOOooh! They’re here!

 

Kenji and two other guys with wooden swords have arrived.

 

Kenji: Let’s start this…

 

Jon: ::sadly:: Fine… ::puts on the duel disk and puts his deck in, he pressed the button… and it puts the two sides onto one side of his arm… oddly enough… there are strings from edge to edge:: Huh???? ::looks terribly confused::

 

Neko-chan: It’s called… NEKO-CHAN’S VIOLIN DUEL WEAPON!… Just call it the Violin duel.

 

Jon: Umm… this isn’t a violin… it’s just a duel disk with violin strings…

 

Neko-chan: SHUT THE FUCK UP!

 

Jon: Umm… what does this even do?

Kenji: ::staring at Neko-chan:: A… a… talking cat! ::screams like a girl:: AHHHHHHHH!! IT’S POSSESSED!

 

Khoi: Umm… no… this is uhh… it’s… it’s a MEOWTH! YEAH! A MEOWTH!

 

Neko-chan: …shut the fuck up ugly…

 

Khoi: don’t call me that! You furry son of a bitch! OooOOOooh! Who said that?

 

Kenji: Anyways… let’s start… ::takes out his wooden sword::

 

Cuong: Uhh… how do we know when to start?

 

Kenji: Bang… ::runs towards Jon, Khoi, and Cuong::

 

Cuong: Man… screw this… it’s just a wooden sword… ::points hand:: SHADOW DESTRUCTION! ::shadows rip along the ground towards Kenji::

 

Kenji: Bokutou Renkin! KAZE KIZU! ::stabs wooden sword into the ground in front of him… the shadows get repelled back::

 

Cuong: Hmph! How rude! ::points palm at the shadows coming back towards him:: SHADOW SPELL! ::the shadow spell absorbs the shadow destruction::

 

Kenji: TOO SLOW! ::jumps high into the air::

 

Jason: Yeah… too slow… ::right next to Kenji in the air::

 

Kenji: Nani?!

 

Jason knocks Kenji to the ground… Kenji flips himself back and retreats back to his comrades…

 

Kenji: I see… it seems I’ve underestimated you…

 

Jon: ::takes out a card from the duel disk and throws it at them::

 

Meiji: ::knocks it away with his wooden sword:: Yeah right…

 

Jon: Huh?!

 

Deiji: ::runs towards Jon:: SENPUU! ::swings sword down… a large amount of wind begins to hit Jon::

 

Jason: Crazy 8! ::jumps in front of Jon and disperses the wind with the crazy 8::

 

Cuong: SHADOW FANG! ::drills towards Kenji::

 

Kenji: ::sticking his wooden sword out straight in front of him:: ::closes eyes:: ::slowly swings sword to his side:: ::ducks under Cuong’s attack… Cuong flies up into the air… and drills back down at him::

 

Meiji: Bokutou Baki! KATANA! ::wooden sword becomes abnormally polished looking:: SHI! ::runs at Cuong’s side and swings down the wooden sword.::

 

The sword knocks Cuong out of the spin and sends him flying across the rooftop.

 

Cuong: DAMN! ::about to fall off the side… Jason stops the rolling tubby::

 

Jason: Careful! ::runs up to Meiji and kicks him straight in the face, then propels himself off of Meiji’s face to kick Meiji again into the stomach::

 

Meiji: Nani! ::gets knocked to the ground::

 

Kenji: ::closes eyes:: ::jumps up towards Jon:: I’LL FINISH YOU OFF FIRST! HA! ::pulls swords back… and swings it forward… a blinding amount of stabs begins to rip up the ground around Jon…::

 

Jon: What the?! ::trying to guard with his arms in front of his face… but he’s getting hit a lot:: ::thinking:: Darn it… if I could pull out all my cards at once like I usually do… but this bloody duel disk! I mean… violin duel…

 

Jason: ::watching:: DAMMIT! ::rushes to help Jon::

 

Deiji: NO WAY! SENPUU! ::a rushing wind attacks Jason again::

 

Jason: ::gets hit by it in the back:: damn! ::rolls to avoid the rest of the wind and rolls towards Deiji… He pops up in front of him and knees him in the stomach… but Deiji blocks with his wooden sword::

 

Deiji: ::smiles:: SENPUU! ::Jason is too close to his wooden sword::

 

Jason: I DON’T WANT YOUR POO! ::uses both of his hands to hit Deiji in the face on each side… flips to his head’s side… and makes a dance fight move. He lands on his hand… and makes a break pose, kicking Deiji’s face in the process, flips back to his feet and knees him a couple times in a rhythm like music then punches him in the face hard with all his rotational motion::

 

Meiji: Deiji!

 

Cuong: Don’t look away! ::points finger at Meiji:: SHADOW BULLET!

 

The shadow bullet punches and breaks through Meiji’s wooden sword.

 

Meiji: AH…

 

Cuong: SHADOW FANG! ::drills straight into Meiji… Meiji spins for a while… then falls to the ground… his shirt totally mangled…::

 

Khoi: …Cuong you pervert… touching every guy with your drill…

 

Kenji: ::swings sword to his side to stop the barrage on Jon:: There… it’s over… what? Bakena… ::the dust clears… a wall of cards is in front of Jon…::

 

Jon: You know… after the fiftieth time I got hit… I got desperate… and now I think I know what this violin duel is for…

 

A song starts to play… the cards fly up in the air out of the wall position and hover around Jon.

 

Kenji: Impossible! How can you play a song on that… ::eyes widen::

 

The violin duel’s strings are moving by themselves…

 

Jon: The music controls the cards with a lot more freedom than I originally had… I never have to get more cards… cause wherever they are… the music will bring them up!

 

Kenji: But… how are the strings moving by themselves?! ::realizes something:: Your aura… it’s a alchemist aura… the power to control objects form a distance… that is amplifying your range…

 

Jon: ::shrugs:: ::sticks arm up with violin duel… the cards come flying back into the deck area:: ::pulls out about five cards from the deck:: NOW THEN! REMATCH!

 

Cuong: Uhh… should we help?

 

Khoi: oooOOOooh?

 

Cuong: AHH! WHY ARE YOU OUT HERE INSTEAD OF JASON?!

 

Khoi: ::shrugs:: Why are YOU out here instead of… some sexy person?

 

Cuong: …

 

Jon: okay! ::throws the five cards at once at Kenji::

 

Kenji: ::dodges to the side:: Is that all?

 

Notes begin to play from the violin duel… the cards spin in midair and fly towards Kenji’s back.

 

Kenji: ::sensing something:: My swordsman aura is telling me danger! ::jumps up into the air to avoid it::

 

Jon: Tch… ::begins to use his other hand to play the violin duel, playing the notes more fluently::

 

The cards follow in the air after Kenji…

 

Kenji: NOT GOOD ENOUGH! ::uses the multiple stabs again to knock the cards away… they return to Jon’s violin duel::

 

Jon: ::sticks hand with violin duel up into the air:: FINE! MIND SHUFFLE! DUDUDUDUDDUDUDDUDUDU!

 

A song begins to play rapidly… all the songs come flying out… they hover in the air…

 

Kenji: …uh oh… ::lands on the ground::

 

Jon: ::begins to play the violin duel with his other hand again:: You won’t get away!

 

The cards begin to slam down into the ground as they try to hit Kenji. He’s running away and dodging as best as he can…

 

 

Kenji: This is ridiculous!

 

The cards return to hover around Jon…

 

Jon: THEME MUSIC! DADADA! ::Jon allows his aura to play the violin duel as dark purplish energy surrounds his other like lightning::

 

Cuong: That’s the deteriorating technique Jon learned from the island!

Jon: ::running towards Kenji:: JON SPECIAL! ::the music from the violin duel is like charging music::

 

Cuong: …maybe Neko-chan shouldn’t have given him that…

 

Kenji: FOOL! RUNNING INTO MY ATTACK IS SUICIDE! ::does the same multiple stab technique as before::

 

The cards hovering around Jon begin to block the stabs…

 

Jon: Dance Crush card virus! Kuriboh! Call of the haunted! Vampire Lord! JON! ::grabs the wooden sword with his hand pulsating with purplish black energy::

 

Kenji: Darn it!

 

The entire wooden sword bursts and explodes…

 

Kenji: ::Falls to the ground:: Darn… it was… a total defeat… Give me… back… the money… that I paid for your… lunch… ::goes unconscious::

 

Jon: hahaha! JON WINS AGAIN!

 

Cuong: …You wouldn’t have won without Neko-chan’s thingamabob…

 

Khoi: Oh wellz? OooOOOooh!

 

Jason: Well, that was fun… first time I used dance fight moves in a while…

 

Khoi: Shut up in there! ::punches head::

 

Cuong: So… umm…how do they know whether or not we won or not?

 

Jon: don’t worry, my duel disk will send the signal!

 

Cuong: THIS ISN’T YU GI OH! YOU FOOL!

 

Hamtaro appears…

 

Hamtaro: Good job… you are the winners… I’ll take this down…

 

Cuong: Wait… so you were watching this entire time?

 

Hamtaro: Of course… we of the student body council must be the judges for this game… Now if you’ll excuse me… I need to visit Sousuke… it seems that a team of competitors not only killed their opponents… but the judge who tried to stop them.

 

Jon: What?

 

Khoi: …

Hamtaro: They were the vengeance team… don’t worry, I won’t let anything happen to you.

 

Jon: WE’RE THE ONES WHO SHOULD BE SAYING THAT YOU SHORT FREAK!

 

Cuong: ::coughs::

 

Jon: Oh… but it looks good on you Cuong… ::blushes::

 

Meanwhile… the speedy ninja bobas are at a grocery store…

 

Joe: Anyways… guys… I wonder when our match’ll be…

 

A mail man comes out of nowhere and hands Charles a letter…

 

Charles: Hmm… ::looks at the letter:: Our next match is against Team the Steve? Team the Steve? What’s that about?…

 

Chris: We should be called the Saps… Team the saps…

 

Charles: What about Team Charles?

 

Joe: How about you both shut up!

 

Suddenly…

 

Voice: …Charles?

 

Charles: umm… yeah, who’s… ::turns around:: ::screams like a girl:: AHHHHHHHH!!!

 

Joe: Oh… it’s card girl…

 

Chris: card girl? Hi, you’re pretty hot. Want to go…

 

Charles: ::kicks Chris in the nuts:: NO!

 

Chris: ow… hahaha… but still ow… he kicks like a girl though… ::stands right back up::

 

Joe: Uhh… Chris…

 

Chris: Yup… kicks like a girl… ::grabbing nuts and crying::

 

Charles: What are you guys doing here?!

 

Olivia: We’re here to represent Team The Steve in the jugan tournament! Good publicity!

 

Charles: … ::eyes get slanty:: Your store’s all the way in California…

 

Olivia: ::shrugs:: Anyways, come see our next match… this tournament is supposed to be “secret” but whatever… come anyways… Watch us destroy this stupid named team… the speedy ninja bobas?

 

Charles: ::hearts in eyes:: Sure…

 

Joe: …We’re the…

 

Charles: ::kicks Joe in the nuts:: Sure…

 

Joe: ::on the floor:: Bastard!

 

To be continued…

T.R.A.N.C.E.

17th Installment: Reveal

The guys are back at Mika’s house… with Aya and Mika and their grandmother… and are sitting around a table.

Joe: Charles… how could you tell the opposing team… that WE’RE NOT WHO WE ARE?! WHERE’S YOUR SPEEDY NINJA BOBA PRIDE?!

Chris: ::nods:: BOBA FO LIFE FOO!

Joe: …uhh… Chris… that was… so… unchris… that it was not Chris… SOUND LIKE CHRIS DAMMIT!

Chris: Restroom…

Joe: Damn straight…

Khoi: No I’m not… oooOOOooh! Or am I? ::rubs chin pensively::

Joe: DAMMIT! I WASN’T TALKING TO YOU!

Cuong: Good, Steve’s here… that means that I can buy more cards from him…

Jon: I just wonder what his powers are…

Khoi: I WONDER WHAT YOUR POWERS ARE! OooOOOooh! Who said that?!

Jon: …you do know what my powers are…

Khoi: or do I?…

Charles: Umm guys… we can lose one round… so can we skip this one? Please don’t show Olivia how I live.

Joe: Gosh! What do you have to be embarrassed about?! ::picking nose::

Chris: yeah. ::hair in curlers::

Charles: …come on! I’m begging you! Forfeit the match!

Joe: Gosh, that won’t do any good anyways… We should eliminate them quickly.

Charles: why?!

Joe: Because… for one… there’s a team going around killing other teams… do you want team the steve to be annihilated?

Cuong: NO! NOT STEVE! ANYONE BUT STEVE! TAKE CHARLES INSTEAD!

Charles: …

Cuong: …I mean… ha ha… I love you?

Khoi: ::jumps up and down like a monkey:: Stop copying my lines! OooOOOooh!

Jon: RED EYES BLACK CHICK! RED EYES BLACK CHICK!

Charles: Dude, shut the fuck up!

Jon: …red eyes black chick?

Joe: Yup, it’s best we take them out of this tournament as quickly as we can.

Aya: Hmph… your first match… you better not lose.

Joe: Yea…

Aya: but the thing is… this team the steve you’re talking about… it seems that only one of them has a power. The old guy… I sensed their auras at the meeting earlier.

Chris: Who’s Steve?

Cuong: HE’S MY PRECIOUSSSSS…

Chris: … ::backs slowly away from Cuong::

Jon: Anyways… yeah…. The tournament’s getting dangerous.

On a mountain side…

Joule: … ::serious look::

Alpha Z: Huh…

??????: That was easy…

Joule: Yes… let’s return to town now. This match is over.

??????: …blood rain… of…

Joule: I said it’s over. We’ve won.

Vlaka: Fine…

Out of the teams in the tournament… There is one other than the vengeance team who has a truly scary killer on their team. His name is Vlaka… the man who makes a person’s blood turn against him. Their name is… Team Shadow of Darkness.

Joule: Let’s go back.

Alpha Z: Okay!

Joe is on top of Aya’s roof… late at night… blue flame is surrounding him

Joe: ::coughs up a little blood:: Ugh…

The next morning… Jon, Neko-chan, Khoi, and Cuong are all surrounding the violin duel.

Jon: Umm… are you sure you can do this?

Neko-chan: of course… I will convert this weapon into a spirit…

Jon: So, I’m going to get a cat?

Neko-chan: Damn straight… ::dreams of a sexy looking cat:: ::drools:: hehehehe…

Cuong: Oh shit… the virus got to him too!

Khoi: oooOOoooh?

Neko-chan: Well then… Here I go! ::puts both paws on the violin duel:: TRANSFORM!

The violin duel lights up…

Neko-chan: Now, it’s very important that nobody distracts me…

Khoi: oooOOOooh! Pretty glowing thingy! ::smacks Neko-chan out of the way and picks up the violin duel::

Neko-chan: NO! YOU FOOL!

The violin duel explodes…

Neko-chan: Oh shit… I wonder what just fucking happened… that faggot…

Khoi: oooOOOooh? Umm… it’s gone… ::shrugs::

Jon: … ::tear::

Cuong: …hahaha… kinda funny.

Neko-chan: hmm… but matter just doesn’t disappear like that… where in the world…

Suddenly…

Mashimaro: HEY! I’M ALIVE! HEY! WHEE!

Jon: ::hearts in eyes:: IT’S MASHIMARO-KUN!

Cuong: ::shocked:: …umm… ::faints::

Khoi: Umm… ::falls on top of Cuong:: oooOOOooh?

Cuong: ::automatically wakes up:: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! RAPE! RAPE!

Khoi: Pff… this isn’t rape… It’s just molestation!

Cuong: …GET AWAY FROM ME!

Mashimaro: hey guys! I’m Mashimaro! WHOOOOO! OH YEAH! PWNAGE! SERIOUS PWNAGE! WHOOOOO!

Cuong: …

Neko-chan: …first of all… that’s not a cat… second of all… IT’S FUCKING ANNOYING! ::starts to kick the shit out of Mashimaro::

Jon: AHHH! LEAVE HIM ALONE! ::hugs Mashimaro::

Mashimaro: ::crying:: YOU GUYS SUCK! I HATE YOU ALL! YOU’RE NOT INVITED TO MY BIRTHDAY PARTY!

Khoi: awww…. But I wanted some of that delicious Mashimaro marshmallow… ::begins to drool::

Mashimaro: HEY! ALL YA ALL! I’M MASHIMARO! WHOO! PARTY! WHOOOO!

Jon: …Umm…

Mashimaro: WHERE THE CHICKS AT?! BRING ‘EM OUT! BRING ‘EM OUT!

Cuong: Umm…

Mashimaro: Well… you have man boobs… but… YOU AIN’T FINE! WHOOO! YA ALL CAN’T HANDLE THE MASHI!

Cuong: …umm…

Jon: Mashimaro? …

Neko-chan: Can I please kill him…

Mashimaro: YO MAN! BACK THE FUCK OFF! DON’T BE TALKIN’ SHIT IF YOU AINT’ GONNA START SHIT! I’M A PARTY ANIMAL!

Jon: REALLY?! ME TOO!

Mashimaro: YAH FOOL! WE’RE GOING TO ROCK EVERY PARTY! WHOOOO! ::runs out the room::

Khoi: …can I rape him?

Neko-chan: Yes…

Khoi: oooOOOooh! ::chases after Mashimaro::

Struggling noises outside… shouts of Khoi saying “Hold still! I can’t get it in! oooOOOooh!”

Mashimaro: AHHH!! WHAT’S UP WITH THIS FOOL! I DON’T BEND LIKE THAT!

Jon: NO! MASHIMARO! ::chases after Khoi::

Cuong: …I have to see this… ::chases after Jon::

Neko-chan: dammit… this is pretty gay…

Meanwhile… Joe is sitting on a bridge… built on a pond full of Koi.

Joe: …How much more… How many more… ::grabs heart:: Not again…

Elsewhere…

Seph: Hmm… ::Looks in a random direction::

Beta Y: What is it?

Seph: I felt something weird…

Beta Y: No time for feeling weird stuff… you think we should help him?

Seph: Not necessary…

The third teammate begins to walk up…

Necro: I’m done…

Behind him are the opposing team members… totally demolished… Because of the Vengeance team… the team that kills their opponents… There is one that can control the dead… the man who conquered death and returned to life… The chaos necromancer… Necro.

Seph: Let’s go…

Necro: Okay…

Elsewhere… Charles is sitting on the roof of Aya’s house.

Charles: Sigh…

Suddenly…

Mashimaro: WHAT UP TO ALL MY HOMEBOYS IN J-TOWN! WOOT!

Charles: ::grabs heart:: AHHH! AHHH! WHAT IS THAT?! WHAT IS THAT?! ::kicks Mashimaro far away::

Mashimaro: NOOOOTTTT COOOLLLL DUUUUUUDDDDDDEEE!

Jon: ::chasing after him:: MASHIMARO-KUN!!!

Charles: …okay… sigh…

Chris appears on the roof…

Chris: Hey…

Charles: Hey.

Chris: I’ve been thinking about the match… and what do you have to be ashamed of?

Charles: huh?

Chris: I mean come on… you’re nice, have a six pack, have light powers, you smell kinda bad and act weird at times… but sedatives and deodorant will fix all that.

Charles: umm…

Chris: what I’m trying to say is that… you don’t need to be ashamed of who you are… or of rejection…

Charles: hmm…

Chris: Yeah… so… just go for it.

Charles: …

Later… Joe is in a doctor’s office…

Joe: Well?

Doctor: Hmm… where’d you say you got this from?

Joe: A stab wound…

Doctor: …This isn’t no ordinary stab wound… You see… the problem is that… dead tissue which was ripped apart and shredded is interfering with the normal processes of your heart… It is… disturbing your bloodflow a great deal.

Joe: …

Doctor: I’m surprised though… I’ve never seen anything like this… In fact… this is one of the oddest things ever…

Joe: Can you fix it?

Doctor: …unfortunately… no… ::takes out an x-ray:: As you can see here… the problem is very big… We could try to remove the tissue… but… your body somehow has found a way to survive around the tissue area. Removing the tissue now… will disturb the new process your body has created…

Joe: …

Doctor: In short… no matter what… you will die… it’s only a matter of time… I’m sorry. It’s just that this case is rare… I’ve never seen anything like this.

Joe: Thanks.

The day of the match between the bobas and team the steve has arrived… It’s going to be held in the school arena… Charles, Chris, and Joe are in the stands waiting. The furry sexy vampire tubbies are in the stands ready to watch… Khoi is eating popcorn… embedded onto a honeybun which is rolled in a fruit roll-up. Cuong is staring at it drooling… They begin to fight over it…

Chris: Hmm… I wonder where they are…

Team the Steve arrives…

Chris: Oh, there they are…

Steve: Okay… now then… let’s finish this quickly… ::Notices Joe and Charles:: HEY! I KNOW YOU GUYS!

Olivia: Huh? What are you doing here?

Charles: Umm… ::about to get up::

Joe puts his arm in the way of Charles and pushes Charles back down…

Joe: Sorry, but one of our team members isn’t here today… So it’ll be me and Chris fighting you guys… This guy just came to watch the match…

Olivia: Really? How nice… kind of…

Steve: Huh… two on three… sounds unfair…

Joe: Don’t worry… we won’t say anything afterwards if we lose… Just come at us with all you got…

Charles: Hey…

Joe: You don’t have to do anything… just stay here…

Chris and Joe jump down from the stands…

Khoi: ::mouth full of honeybun/popcorn/fruit rollup/Cuong’s hair?!:: Go get ‘im! TOUCH ALL THEIR NUTS!

Cuong: ::staring at patch of missing hair on his head:: … ::cries::

Jon: mashimaro! MASHIMARO! HEY MATE!

Mashimaro: WHOOO! WE NEED SOME BEER FOR THIS VIEWING! WHOOO! LET’S GET CRAZY!

Jon: hee hee… Mashimaro, you’re sooo funny…

Cuong: yeah… “funny”

Steve: Anyways… let’s begin this then… ::takes out a three cards and passes one out to each of his teammates:: NOW THEN! SUMMON! OBELISK THE TORMENTOR!

Olivia: Umm… Slifer the Sky dragon?

3rd Steve worker person: Winged dragon of Ra?

The three god cards appear totally life size… and realistic looking.

Chris: …

Joe: …umm… wow… umm… wow… umm… wow…

Chris: Can we give up?

Joe: NO! We must use our furry sexy… I mean speedy ninja boba skill! NOW! ATTACK!

Joe and Chris run over to Obelisk and start to bang on its foot…

Steve: …

Olivia: …

3rd steve worker: …

Obelisk just kicks Joe and Chris away…

Joe: Okay… that didn’t work… so let’s try something else… phoenix formation!

Joe and Chris start to bang on Obelisk’s foot again… Obelisk kicks them away…

Joe: okay okay… third time’s a charm… mega blaster formation!

Joe and Chris start to bang on Obelisk’s foot AGAIN… Obelisk kicks them away…

Khoi: Aww… geez… how could they be losing?! Look at Obelisk’s crotch! SO BIG WITH SO MANY OPENINGS! JUST NUTTAP HIM!

Cuong: What about Ra and Slifer?

Khoi: Umm… I love you?

Joe: …Okay Chris… huddle up…

Joe and Chris huddle…

Joe: This is the plan…

Ten seconds later…

Joe: okay! This is bound to work!

Joe and Chris start to bang Obelisk’s foot even faster… Obelisk kicks them away…

Khoi: AHHHH! JUST THROW YOUR BLUE EYES AT THEM!

Joe: SHUT UP! Fine! Now that it’s come to this! ::blue flame surrounds his left hand and becomes a ryuusei:: RYUUSEI!

Chris: Okay!

Chris and Joe start to hit Obelisk’s foot this time with their power… Obelisk kicks them away…

Charles: OH MY GOD! DO SOMETHING!

Joe: okay… Chris… I have an idea… I saw this in a Godzilla movie once… If we run around yelling in Japanese… some big giant robot will come and save us…

Chris: That should work…

Joe: Alright… ready… set… go!

Joe and Chris start to run around yelling random Japanese words…

Joe: arrigato! Masahiro! Sakura! Tenshi! Barukai!

Chris: MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW!

Joe: I SAID JAPANESE WORDS!

Chris: ::starts to say Meow with an asian accent:: MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW!

Joe: Better!

Steve: …

Olivia: …

3rd Steve employee: … They’ve gone crazy…

Joe: Okay… stop stop stop… this isn’t working… We must form the megazord!

Chris: ::Nods::

Joe: ::jumps on top of Chris’ shoulders… they run over to Obelisk and start banging on his foot like that:: take our mighty morphing power!

Obelisk: … ::kicks them away::

Joe: Dammit… it’s almost like they can see our moves before we do them!

Chris: ::nods::

Joe: Well… since it’s come to this… ::tattoo on left hand glows:: Trance… Angelic Flame!

Chris: …wasn’t it the twilight phoenix?

Joe: ::stops and talks to Chris:: Well, that’s the official name… I think Angelic flame sounds better don’t you?

Chris: Well… heavenly berserker sounds the best…

Joe: Oh please… come on…

Steve: Ahem…

Joe: Oh… right… ::tattoo on left hand glows again:: ::eyes turn blue… top of hair turns blue:: okay then! ::ryuusei’s appear on both of his hands:: twin ryuusei! ::the ryuusei on the left transfers to the right hand… and the two ryuusei’s begin to spin around rapidly::

Chris: Umm… will this work?

Joe: ::shrugs:: WE SHOULD TRY! ::jumps high up into the air at Obelisk::

Obelisk: ::catches Joe::

Joe: …uh oh…

Obelisk: ::starts to brush his teeth with Joe::

Joe: AHHH! THIS ISN’T RIGHT!

Chris: hahaha…

Joe: IT ISN’T FUNNY!

Cuong: …this is odd…

Khoi: yet funny… oooOOOooh!

Jon: Who said that?

Khoi: stop copying me! ::taps Jon’s nuts::

Jon: ACK!

Neko-chan: Hmm… this is odd…

Khoi: What is?

Neko-chan: Well… in this situation… you’d be a fool to attack those huge monsters… but Joe did… what he really should attack is…

Cuong: The people controlling them.

Neko-chan: Exactly…

Cuong: Well, there are two reasons Joe and Chris won’t do that… the first is that it’s someone they know… second is that… ::looks over at Charles::

Charles is looking on…

Joe: Okay… Chris… that didn’t work… all we did was freshen Obelisk’s teeth… So what we need to do is…call upon EXODIA!

Chris: …

Joe: Stop looking at me like that and help me draw the five cards!

Chris: okay… ::starts to draw::

Joe: …THAT’S A BUNNY!

Chris: …what are we drawing again?

Joe: sigh… well… that bunny is pretty cool…

Chris: ::smiles proudly::

Charles jumps down from the stands…

Charles: Okay, this is stupid… I’m part of… part of… I’m part of their team…

Steve: …okay

Olivia: Really? Okay. Hi!

Charles: ::face goes like that weird expression when you realize you have been worrying about something big which is apparently not so big and you feel really sad and gay for worring about it:: …

Cuong: I don’t get it… is Charles going to attack them individually, or is he going to attack the monsters?

Neko-chan: There is no way to win by attacking those huge things… you must attack the individuals controlling them…

Joe and Chris join up with Charles…

Joe: Okay then… so… since you finally came down… can we stop holding back? And show off what we trained?

Charles: umm… yes…

Chris: cool… so… we don’t have to hold back… right?

Charles: …YOU GUYS WERE HOLDING BACK?!

Joe: …umm… yes…

Charles: Okay… I need to go take a crap…

Chris: Well… wait until after this.

Chris suddenly disappears in a flash and knees Obelisk in the face… Obelisk begins to fall backwards…

Cuong: …

Khoi: …

Jon: …

Neko-chan: …Natural… energy…

Cuong: Huh?

Neko-chan: That guy… he’s using natural energy… an aura that uses neither elements nor external forces… It’s just fortifying his natural attributes… Just like Jason…

Khoi: …umm… but Jason’s sexier… oooOOOooh!

Joe forms the twin ryuusei again…

Joe: Huh… this technique was made to last a while… so I could use it offensively and defensively like a sword… so… I’ll show you how to truly use it! ::runs towards Slifer… and stabs it in the side with the twin ryuusei… he then runs along side the long body of slifer… slicing it as he goes…::

3rd Steve worker: What the?! SLIFER! DESTROY!

Slifer: ::lets out a blast at Joe::

Joe: Hmph… too weak… ::disperses the blast by slicing it in half with the twin ryuusei:: Unlike a regular ryuusei! THIS ONE DOESN’T DISAPPEAR!

Slifer falls down…

Chris: ::lifting obelisk with one hand::

Steve: What’s going on?! This is impossible!

Chris: Masahiro Senpuu! ::throws Obelisk in the air and jumps up after him… delivering a spinning kick to its stomach… Obelisk lands on the floor hard::

Neko-chan is shocked…

Neko-chan: Strong…

Khoi: But how long will he last in bed? Hmph!

Cuong: ::shudders::

Charles is all alone… left with Ra and Olivia.

Olivia: Umm… aren’t you going to attack?

Charles: ahhhhh… ::rubbing head:: FINE! I’ll show you the technique I created while training! ::puts hand over his head::

Joe: …oh shit! DUCK AND COVER!

Chris: … ::runs away::

Khoi: oooOOOooh?

Cuong: Uh… what’s going on?

Neko-chan: GEEZ! ::remembers what he saw while spying on destiny and ducks under some chairs::

Jon: umm…

Mashimaro: Yo… why these fools be trippin’?

Charles: …bang… ::a flash of light erupts in the stadium…::

Cuong: ::being pushed back by something:: WHAT THE?!

Khoi: oooOOOOOooooh!

Jon: WHEE!

Mashimaro: AH! HELL NAH!

The light fades away slowly… and out of the light… comes a huge white robot type thing that kinda looks like the mechs from Zone of the Enders. Except it has large white angel wings… Charles is standing on it’s shoulder…

Olivia: What… the…

Cuong: I still don’t see why you guys are so scared… It’s just a summoned big thing… Nothing TOO big.

Khoi: Yeah! I’ve summoned bigger things outta my ass!

Charles: this is the ryu tenshi!

Neko-chan: Ryu tenshi?…

Charles: RYU TENSHI! Shockwave Pulsar!

The Ryu Tenshi puts both of its arms in the air… the earth begins to shake…

Cuong: GEEZ!

Khoi: WHEE!

Jon: ::unconscious but smiling::

A huge beam of light erupts from its arms into the sky… The beam shoots high up into the sky… breaking through the arena ceiling… There is a pause…

Olivia: umm…

Cuong: …is it over…

Suddenly… the blast of light comes straight down at Charles…

Neko-chan: WAH?! IS HE TRYING TO COMMIT SUICIDE?!

Charles: Plus! THIS IS A TECHNIQUE! I CREATED! ::spins two times in the air and kicks the beam of light at Ra::

Cuong: …all of that… for that?

Khoi: …

After Charles kicks the light… the light breaks up into thousands of smaller blasts that smash into Ra… Problem is…

Neko-chan: THE BLASTS ARE GOING IN RANDOM DIRECTIONS!

Cuong, Khoi, Jon, and Mashimaro: AHHHH! ::trying to dodge the blasts::

Joe: ::smacking them away with the twin ryuusei while trying to run for his life… one of them hits him in the ass:: AHHHHH! ::runs even faster…::

Chris runs… grabs the members of team the steve… and saves them…

10 minutes later…

Joe: GREAT! JUST GREAT!

Charles: yeah! I WON THE MATCH!

Everybody starts to beat up Charles…

Chris: you destroyed the stadium!

Steve: YOU ALMOST KILLED US!

Cuong: THAT MOVE WAS TOO FLASHY!

Khoi: YOU’RE TOO SEXY! OooOOOooh!

An hour later…

Sousuke: …

The arena is completely destroyed…

Hamtaro: …

Sousuke: …charge all this damage to the boba team…

Hamtaro: yes sir…

The next day… Charles and Olivia are walking on the street…

Charles: heh… sorry about all that stuff I did…

Olivia: That’s okay… nobody was hurt…

Joe is in a hospital crying… with his ass in bandages…

Olivia: yup… as long as nobody important was hurt…

Charles: true.

Olivia: And during that match… I have to thank you…

Charles: for what?

Olivia: I think I found someone I really like…

Charles: ::thinking:: omg! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! She must be so impressed with my move that she really likes me now! OH YEAH! ::in a sexy voice:: oh… yeah…

Olivia: What’s the name of that guy in the sweater?

Charles: I LIKE YOU TOO!… I mean… WHA??????

Olivia: When it seemed like your stupidity had killed us all! He came in and saved us! He was so brave… ::Hearts in eyes::

Charles: ::turns all dark:: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! DAMN YOU CHRIS! DAMN YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Olivia: Huh? What was that?

Charles: Umm… you don’t want to like that guy… He’s… well… He’s gay!

Olivia: Oh… I see…

Charles: ::smiling and nodding:: Yup…

Olivia: So… you guys are going out?

Charles: ::smiling and nodding:: yup…

Olivia: Sigh… fine… ::walks off::

Charles: ::still smiling and nodding:: … ::realizes something:: OH SHIT! ::runs after her:: WAIT! WAIT! WAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!

Khoi: ::chasing after Charles:: WAIIIIIITTTTTTT! OooOOOoooh!

(Joe note: this would never happen in real life… except for the last part… with Khoi chasing Charles… yeah…)

Khoi accidentally trips and falls…

Khoi: OH well… now it’s time to hit on girls! OooOOOooh!

A group of girls is running towards Khoi…

Khoi: Gasp! My super suave powers got stronger!

The girls trample Khoi and go up to a group of three guys, begging for autographs and stuff…

Khoi: ::getting up and making struggling noises:: THAT’S UNPOSSIBLE! NOBODY CAN RESIST ME!… and a lot of them stepped on my crotch…

There’s a group of three good looking guys smiling at the crowd of girls.

Handsome: Hey fans! What’s up?!

Richie: Hey baby… how’ve you been?

Famous: Hey girls! Did you see our last match?

Khoi: oooOOOooh? ::looks confused:: ::taps girl on shoulder… she screams… hits him in the face and runs away…:: ::Makes struggling noises:: ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS ASK A QUESTION!

Jason: umm… Khoi… that wasn’t her shoulder…

Khoi: … I know… ::shifts eyes:: ::taps another girl on the shoulder::

Girl: Yeah?

Khoi: Who are those sexy guys?! AND WHY AM I NOT A PART OF THEM?! AND WHY AREN’T YOU TRYING TO GET IN MY PANTS?!

Girl: …That’s handsome, Richie, and Famous! THEY’RE THE MEMBERS OF THE PLAYBOY TEAM!

Khoi: THEY WRITE THE MAGAZINE?! SO ALL OF YOU ARE MODELS WHO WANT TO BE IN IT?!!! ::looks at her up and down:: I don’t think you can make it…

Girl: NO! YOU FAGGOT! THEY’RE JUST THE PLAYBOY TEAM! GOSH! WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU?!… and your face…

Jason: hmm… those guys seem to be canceling out my super suave powers…

Khoi: Oh are they?… ::walks up to them:: STOP BEING SO SEXY!

Handsome: Huh?

Richie: Who’s this guy?

Famous: Either they’ve taught how to make monkeys talk or this guy has something seriously wrong with his face…

Khoi: ::makes struggling noises and nuttaps all of them at once:: TAKE THAT YOU SONUVABITCH!

…complete and utter silence… as the playboy team is on the floor… and the girls around them stare at Khoi…

Khoi: Umm… I love you?

20 seconds later…

Girl #30: COME BACK HERE!

Girl #37: HEY! YOU MO FO! NOBODY TOUCHES THEM BUT US! ESPECIALLY… there…

Khoi: BUT I CAN’T HELP IT! OooOOOooh!

Jason: Okay! You’re far enough from those three where the super suave will work!

Khoi transforms into Jason…

Jason: Come now ladies… ::takes out rose:: daisuki…

All the girls stop with hearts in their eyes…

Jason: ::chuckles:: Even with all you ladies following me… I cannot pick a pretty face among any of you… because… all I have are eyes for you… ::points in a random direction::

The girls begin to fight with each other…

Girl #15: HE WAS POINTING AT ME!

Girl #3: NO! AT ME!

Girl #54: AT ME!

Jon: you fools! HE WAS OBVIOUSLY POINTING AT ME!

The girls… and Jon… continue to argue as Jason walks away…

Jason: still got it…

Khoi: got what?

Jason: …never mind…

Khoi: ::makes struggling noises:: IT BETTER NOT BE A HONEYBUN! CAUSE I WANT IT!

Suddenly… Jason senses something wrong…

Jason: What is this… feeling…

Khoi: Umm… horniness?

Jason: NO! IT’S IT’S! ::runs back to the group of girls and Jon… they all have hearts in their eyes, but not at Jason…:: WHAT HAPPENED?!

Jon: He… he… he was…

Girl #4: So beautiful…

Jason: Who could be sexy enough to do something like this?! ::he spots a tall good looking guy talking to a girl who is hanging onto his every word… the guy walks away and Jason chases after him::

The guy stops and turns around to Jason…

Guy: What do you want?

Jason: How… how… how… who are you?!

Khoi: yeah! Stop stealing the swarm! I’M THE MASTER OF THE SWARM!

Guy: Hmph… whatever… I was just messing around… there’s only one girl for me in this world… ::takes out a cherry blossom from out of nowhere like magic… and lets the wind blow it towards Jason::

Jason: …wow… such style… He… he… I can’t lose to him! ::takes out a rose petal:: As you say… there may be only one girl in the world for you… However… I am the victim… yes… the victim… ::looks to the side:: of unrequited love…

Guy: Ouch! Must beat him! ::gets down on a knee and looks up at the sky:: When I think about her… I look to the sky… because I know… that we are still both under it… and that… that warms my soul…

Jason: Tch… ::takes out a rose:: Like a rose… relationships are very tricky… they are beautiful… but yet… oh so… thorny…

Guy: Thorny?! Thorny?! That’s it! I’ve won!

Jason: NO YOU HAVEN’T! NO YOU HAVEN’T!

Guy: Hmph… ::takes out some cherry blossoms:: Sakura… the beautiful pink leaves from the east that bloom only at certain times of the year… However… your beauty… never disappears…

Jason: Weak! WEAK! WEAK!

Jon: Awww… he won…

Jason: what?!

All the girls flood the mystery guy…

Joe: ::coming out of nowhere:: Hmph… I could beat both of you! Hey… HEY! ::all the girls look at Joe:: ::takes out a cactus:: Like a cactus… You are to me… prickly… and annoying… I want the water inside… but you… you keep on shutting me out……………….. Little punk ass bitch! ::punches the cactus:: OW! SONUVA! ::starts to fight the cactus… the girls stare confused::

Jon: Well… let’s try this… ::takes out a bar of chocolate:: True love is like this chocolate… it needs to be imported from a European country to be any good! Like RUSSIA!

(Joe note: If you didn’t catch it… I was referring to mail order brides… I hope you got it… cause I thought it was funny… I wish I didn’t do the cactus thing… I am the one writing all these lines……… WHY CAN’T I MAKE GOOD LINES FOR MYSELF?!)

Girl #34: …

Girl #23: …

Jason: Ignore them! Your opponent is me!

Guy: …Hmph… you are a worthy adversary… too bad I’m better… ::walking away:: Ciao…

Jason: Wait! Who are you?!

Guy: I’m Tsubasa… as a bird flies on wings… I… levitate on your love…

All the girls chase Tsubasa…

Jason: ::grabs heart and falls to the ground:: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I HAVE LOST!…

A mailman pops out of nowhere and gives Jason a letter…

Jason: Another match? ::reads the letter:: Against the playboy team… at a night club?! Tomorrow?! At 11?!

Meanwhile… with the playboy team…

Handsome: hmph… isn’t that Jason guy on the furry sexy vampire whatevers?

Richie: yeah… but… they stand no chance of beating us if he’s their only “strong” person…

Famous: Yup… this match will be like nothing they have ever experienced… Because it’s not fighting… It’s…

To be continued…

T.R.A.N.C.E.

 

18th installment: Tsubasa equals…

 

Chris is in training… and has his backpack on… Khoi notices some silver shorts…

 

Khoi: Chris! I want to see those shorts on you right now!

 

Chris: …they’re not short enough for you…

 

Khoi: ::makes struggling noises:: sigh… you’re right… ::unhappy face::

 

Cuong: Anyways… so umm… Charles can summon some big weird robotic angel thing now…

 

Charles: yup…

 

Mashimaro: YO MAN! YOU COULD’VE JACKED US UP FOO! WHAT BE WRONG WIT IT?! GEEZZZZZ! FO SHIZZLE!

 

Jon: Hee hee… I love you Mashimaro… with your weird mashimaro language…

 

Mashimaro: THIS AIN’T BE MASHIMARO LANGUAGE FOO! MAN!

 

Jon: ::hugs Mashimaro:: I love you…

 

Mashimaro: Yo man, this ain’t cool wit it!

 

Neko-chan: Anyways… your next match is today at a nightclub against the playboy team… so it should be in our favor… since we have Jason and the field is a night club…

 

Khoi: umm… yeah… about that guy who lives in my head…

 

Jason: ::sobs quietly::

 

Khoi: I think he… is crying… oooOOOooh! STOP CRYING YOU SONUVABITCH! ::nuttaps self::

 

Aya: …how… odd…

 

Khoi: ooooOOooh! Look Jason! A hot girl! You can get her!

 

Jason: …you’re right! I’m Jason! HA!

 

Khoi transforms to Jason…

 

Jason: With your will in my hands… I will also keep your heart… which will flutter with mine through a winter of passion known as… love… ::takes out rose as music plays in the background::

 

Aya: …

 

Jason: …

 

Aya: …you know… My aura repels your love aura, don’t you?

 

Jason: …

 

Aya: Yeah…

 

Jason: …

 

Aya: …

 

Jason: … ::runs away crying:: DARN YOU TSUBASA!

 

Cuong: Tsubasa?! Oh no… I’m trapped in the “world!” Must get out! ::tries to eat himself out of nowhere::

 

Mika: Hey! Stop eating our floor dammit! ::smacks Cuong::

 

Later… Joe is with Charles and Chris…

 

Joe: Well… I have good news and bad news…

 

Charles: okay…

 

Joe: the good news is… ::pulls out a chocolate pie:: I found this chocolate pie!

 

Chris: What’s the bad news?

 

Joe: The bad news is… we got our next match invite… and it’s against… the vengeance team…

 

Charles: ::screams like a girl:: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! ::looks around embarrassed:: I mean… BRING EM ON! ::looks around again:: ::voice cracks a little:: Can I go change my boxers…

 

Joe: For the love of… yes…

 

Chris: …

 

Joe: anyways… we need to formulate a strategy…so, Chris… you and I are going to go scout the vengeance team to see who else is on there.

 

Chris: okay… ::about to leave::

 

Joe: Not now…

 

Chris: oh… ::stops:: well sorry… gosh…

 

Joe: Now if you’ll excuse me… I have to go find Aya and ask her for some more training… Chris… you can do… whatever the hell you do on your spare time… ::walks off::

 

Chris: … ::looks around… :: ::smiles:: ::rips off shirt and begins to dance::

 

Meanwhile, with Joe…

 

Joe: Aya? Are you in here?… Aya?… ::walking around in the dojo looking for her:: Hmm… ::opens up the room to her door:: Aya?……………………………………

 

Aya: ………………………………… ::getting dressed::

 

Joe: Umm… don’t worry! There’s nothing to see!

 

Aya: WHAT?!

 

Joe: I mean! There’s not much to see!

 

Aya: HUH?! ::cracking knuckles::

Joe: hahaha… ::nervous laugh:: What I meant to say was… I didn’t see anything… hahahahaha, funny… right?

 

Aya: ::forms some weird seals with her hands::

 

Joe: ::screams like a girl:: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

 

Aya: FUUGAN! ::eyes focus and become green:: Fuujin ryu! ::wind circles her arm and forms a dragon::

 

Joe: ::really screams like a girl:: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

 

10 seconds later… Khoi walks by…

 

Khoi: ugh… what’s wrong with this rug?

 

Joe: it’s me…

 

Khoi: ugh! What’s wrong with you?! OooOOOooh!

 

Joe: ::crying:: I don’t want to talk about it…

 

Khoi: How is your body so flat?… and is that… a remote control up your…

 

Joe: I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!

 

Later, Khoi is walking on the streets…

 

Khoi: oooOOOooh! Let’s go pick up some girls Jason!

 

Jason: I… I… I… can’t… it’s… I… argh…

 

Cuong is walking up the street towards them…

 

Cuong: Hey, did you guys happen to see Jon?

 

Khoi: well… funny story… ever since Tsubasa came… Jon’s been looking for him… oooOOOOoooh! Who said that? That hot sexy beast! Anyways, help me fix Jason, tubby!

 

Cuong: Okay shweetie… I mean… FUCK YOU!……………… I’ll come…

 

Cuong and Khoi go to a office building and find a really pretty secretary…

 

Khoi: Well, Jason? She’s pretty hot… for a girl… ::shifts eyes::

 

Jason: …but… but… but… no, I’m feeling nothing.

 

Cuong: ::eating doughnuts:: Yeah… she’s just okay… not anything special…

 

Khoi: ::makes struggling noises:: BUT SHE’S A SECRETARY! So… secret… like a cemetery… oooOOOoooh! And look at that skirt… doesn’t leave much to the imagination…

 

Cuong: …How can you tell she’s wearing a skirt? She’s sitting behind a table…

 

Khoi: ::makes even more struggling noises:: I’m just trying to give Jason a boner! GEEZ!

 

Cuong: …Ugh… I don’t think I can eat anymore doughnuts… ::still eating nonetheless::

 

A bunch of security guards appear…

 

Security Guard #1: THOSE ARE THE GUYS WHO STOLE THE COMPANY DOUGHNUTS!

 

Cuong: …Oh crap! It’s the fuzz! Run for it! ::runs into a wall… his fat breaks through it like the hulk and he runs off::

 

Khoi: oooOOOooh! ::runs out… then runs back in to talk to the secretary:: Hey, I’m Khoi… this is my number… if you’re ever in the mood for some weird viet loving… give me a call… oooOOOooh! Who said that?! ::runs out… then runs back in:: By the way, you aren’t a guy are you?

 

Secretary: ::with Japanese accent and puzzled look:: uh… no.

 

Khoi: Phew… good… wouldn’t want THAT to happen again. ::runs out::

 

Security guard #2: HURRY WE CAN STILL CATCH UP TO THAT WEIRD RHINO!

 

Khoi: I’M NOT A WEIRD RHINO!… now you’re just making me feel bad… ::starts to cry… which oddly sounds like a rhino grunting::

 

Cuong and Khoi visit a kimono shop next…

 

Cuong: ::drooling:: so many anime fantasies… coming true…

 

Khoi: So… how do you feel after looking at the models Jason? OooOOOooh! Cause… I’m getting kinda horny…

 

Cuong: Ugh!

 

Khoi: I was talking about being called a rhino! Geez… you pervert… ::smacks Cuong’s ass:: WHO DID THAT?!

 

Cuong: …did you touch me? My fat kinda jiggled…

 

Khoi: uhh… ::guiltily:: no?

 

Jason: Sigh… you guys don’t understand… I’m not just some weird pervert… I’m a chivalrous ladies’ man… you don’t understand…

 

Khoi: …so… you need to go to a strip club?

 

Jason: …Sigh…

 

Cuong: Okay… I didn’t want to do this… but it’s time to pull out the big guns…

 

Khoi: the neko-cannon?

 

Cuong: NO! We will go to…

 

Cuong and Khoi are now in a cosplay place with tons of Yunas and Rikkus.

 

Cuong: The biggest compilation of Yuna and Rikku cosplayers in the WORLD!

 

Khoi: oooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooHHHHH!!!!

 

Khoi crouches…

 

Khoi: Must control… hard on…

 

Cuong: yes… my secret weapon… nobody can resist! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ::taps a Rikku on the shoulder:: Hey shorty… what’s up?

 

Jon: ::dressed up as Rikku, turns around:: well, how do you do, sexy?…………… ::stunned look::

 

Cuong: ::disturbed look::

 

Jon: Umm… I can explain… but you have to hear me out…

 

Khoi: …

 

Cuong: …

 

Jon: Umm… okay… umm… ::starts to wave arms uselessly:: This is all an illlluuuuuusssiiiiioooonnnnn…

 

Khoi: This is a nuuuuuutttttttttappppp! DONG! ::hits Jon in the nuts::

 

Jon: ::on floor:: Okay… I deserved that… but I’m still a sexy beast!

 

Khoi: …you know… my hard on is gone now…

 

Cuong: …indeed… who knows how many more of these people are guys…

 

Khoi: Yeah… we won’t miss anything… SEE YOU IN HELL YUNAS AND RIKKUS! Pff… we won’t miss anything at all…

 

Khoi and Cuong drag Jon out and leave… suddenly

 

Rikku #30: Hey! Let’s all have a pillow fight!

 

Yuna #21: Yeah!… but we’ll mess up our costumes!

 

Rikku #45: Just take them off then!

 

Nude pillow fight ensues… meanwhile… outside the building…

 

Khoi: Not missing anything at all… but something in my bones(Joe note: I’m pretty sure he meant to say boner) are telling me to go back…

 

Cuong: Pff… please… nothing’s going to happen… Let’s get outta here…

 

Khoi: but but but… the Ho-O-meter is going off the charts! OooOOOooh! And the Ho-O-meter is never wrong!

 

Cuong: …remember when your “ho-O-meter” told you that if you took a crap in the park in front of those children, girls would like you?

 

Khoi: …Yes… ::drops head down low and leaves::

 

Cuong: Pff… come on… it’s not like they’re having a nude pillow fight…

 

Khoi: …so… want to have a nude pillow fight?

 

Cuong: ::excited:: DO I?!… I mean… fuck you!

 

Khoi: REALLY?! I mean… who said that?

 

Cuong: ::shudders::

 

Later… Cuong and Khoi go to a park…

 

Cuong: Okay… my theory is that if Jason can get one girl to like him, then he will be back to normal… so then… here we go…

 

A girl walks by… Cuong runs up to her…

 

Cuong: Konichiwa! Do you speak English?

 

Girl: umm… yeah… yeah I speak little bit…

 

Cuong: Oh good, anyways… will you go out with my friend?

 

Girl: what is this… we already out?

 

Cuong: No no, I mean like on a date…

 

Girl: Oh… date… today March.

 

Cuong: No! NO NO! I mean… sigh… ::gets out a boy action figure and a girl action figure:: Pretend this is my friend and this is you… you go to dinner… you go see a movie… then later… ::starts to make voices:: “Oh Jason!” “Oh baby!” “Not there Jason!” “You know you like it…” “oooohhhhhhh…. That feels nice… faster! FASTER!”

 

Girl: ::slaps Cuong and proceeds to beat shit outta him::

 

Ten seconds later…

 

Cuong: ::all bruised up and bleeding:: Darn…my interlanguage skill failed me… Your turn…

 

Khoi: yeah… I didn’t expect her to use a taser on you either…

 

Cuong: yeah… good thing my fat protected me… ::sniffs the air:: Do you smell something cooking?… smells like… pork…

 

Khoi: Okay… I’m up! OooOOOoooh!

 

A pretty girl walks by…

 

Khoi: hello! Do you speak the language of love… by which I mean French…

 

Girl: ::shakes head:: No, but I do speak fluent English.

 

Khoi: Oh good… I speak that too… anyways… You want to fuck this guy who lives in my head? OooOOOoooh!

 

Ten seconds later…

 

Khoi: ::eating an ice cream cone:: hee hee… she thought I was crazy and retarded so she bought me an ice cream cone!

 

Cuong: …ice… cream… ::runs up to random girl:: YOU WANT TO FUCK THIS GUY WHO LIVES IN MY HEAD?!

 

Ten seconds later…

 

Cuong: I’m asking you! DO YOU WANT TO FUCK THIS GUY WHO LIVES IN MY HEAD?!

 

Japgirl: Ah… sorry… no speakuh English much… gomenei…

 

Cuong: AHHHHHH!! ::starts to shake her:: GIMME ICE CREAM!

 

Japgirl: ::screams, pepper sprays Cuong and runs away::

 

Cuong: My eyes! My chinky eyes! Sigh… ::sits down:: When is the burning going to go away?

 

Khoi: ::shrugs:: oooOOOoooh! I have ice cream! And you don’t! hahahahahaha! ::mocking laugh::

 

Cuong: … ::knocks the ice cream outta Khoi’s hand::

 

Khoi: ::slants eyes at Cuong:: You think you’ve won… but you haven’t… hmph! ::begins to slurp up the icecream on the floor:: HURRY UP BEFORE IT MELTS! Stupid tongue! Oh wellz… I’ll just go buy some… takoyaki? ::goes up to a takoyaki stand:: Gimme some!

 

Takoyaki stand guy: it be done in five minutes…

 

Khoi: Oh really? Maybe a little friendly punching will move your ass! ::knocks out the takoyaki guy:: Heh… still got it… ::takes the uncooked takoyaki and begins to eat it::

 

(Joe Note: I’ve just noticed… there’s so much perverted stuff in this installment… with us getting beat up because of things we do… hmmmm… how odd)

 

Later… Cuong is totally healed somehow… and they’re eating at a noodle shop.

 

Cuong: ::already ate five bowls:: How can we fix Jason?

 

Khoi: I know! We’ll nuttap him! ::about to nuttap::

 

Cuong: ::grabs Khoi’s hand:: Umm… no…

 

Khoi: …geez… holding my hand in public… you perv…

 

Cuong: ::shudders and automatically lets go::

 

Khoi: Geez… I didn’t want for it to come to this…

 

Cuong: Oh no…

 

Khoi: But I’m going to have to… SING!

 

Jason: …oh no…

 

Khoi:

Being a lover,

Of Girls… is hard…

Sure there may be Tsubasa,

Sure he maybe more sexy,

But you know…

You know…

You’re sexy to… meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…

He may get more girls,

He may embarrass you,

But always remember,

Crap! I need to goooo poooooooo!

 

Khoi runs off in a hurry to the restroom.

 

Cuong: …well… that was useless…

 

Elsewhere…

 

Aya: Okay you faggots!

 

Charles: uhh… we prefer the term looser…

 

Aya: …I prefer the term… shut your motherfucking face!

 

Charles: NO! YOU SHUT U…!

 

Aya: FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! SHUT THE FUCK UP! SHUT UP! FUCK YOU! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! WHY WON’T YOU SHUT THE FUCK UPPPPPPPP!!

 

Charles: … ::backs off scared::

 

Aya: Anyways… you faggots… Joe has asked me to help you train… I won’t lie to you… It won’t be easy… in fact… it is buttnumbingly hard! YOU! ::points to Charles:: What’s your name?!

 

Joe: Umm… he’s been living here for more than a week now you know…

 

Aya: Yeah… but I’m bad with names… so I’m going to call you smiley! GOT THAT SMILEY?!

 

Charles: …umm… okay…

 

Chris: hee hee… smiley…

 

Aya: You got something to add restroom boy?!

 

Chris: yeah… umm… you called him smiley… and he’s smiley… so since he’s smiley… and is called smiley… it’s funny…

 

Aya: …umm… yeah… carry on…

 

Joe: umm… Aya… I meant that we should train together… they don’t really need you to teach them… I think they’ll learn better by fighting against you.

 

Aya: …okay… if that’s it… I guess I can beat the crap outta them… Of course… you have to fight me too…

 

Joe: Umm… three on one seems a little unfair…

 

Aya: Yeah, but you three are retards…

 

Joe: …

 

Charles: …

 

Chris: …

 

Aya: Okay, let’s start… you better come at me with the intent to kill.

 

Chris: ::runs quickly at Aya::

 

Aya: Starting already?! ::swings a kick forward, Chris tumbles in the air to dodge and tries to throw a kick down at Aya, Aya grabs the kick, twists the leg and kicks Chris a couple of yards away::

 

Charles: ::forms a ball of light, spins twice, and kicks it at Aya::

 

Aya: ryuugan! ::eyes turn green, she spins to the side to dodge… the blast of light ends up flying into a nearby statue and blowing up:: Okay, here we go for real now… Fuujin Ryu! ::wind forms in her right hand to form a wind dragon, but unlike the ryuusei, it’s not disappearing::

 

Charles: …I see… that’s like the twin ryuusei… a sorta technique to be used like a sword.

 

Joe: bingo… when I was training with her, we each created our own technique… of course they’ll be similar… ::puts hands together, then slams them into the ground:: SEEKING FLAME DRAGON! ::blue flame dragons erupt from the ground below Aya… she jumps up and smacks them all away with her fuujin ryu::

 

Joe runs towards her… then surrounds his leg with blue flame, then kicks up at her… she blocks with her own knee which is surrounded by wind. She kicks Joe back to the ground… she lands safely with wind cushioning her fall…

 

Charles: …she has the same powers as Beta Y!

 

Joe: ::getting up, pretty shaken:: No, Beta Y’s powers are just a copy of wind users… there are more than one of each type of aura in the world… it’s just that there’s a lot of different ways in which the power can be used to personalize it to a specific person… Like… you may find another light user… but they’ll probably have a totally different style.

 

Charles: I see…

 

Chris: ::runs around Aya with blinding speed a couple times then flips towards her… grabs her by the shirt and begins to try to knee her… she blocks his knee kicks with her own knee kicks… then swings the fuujin ryu across to force him to back up… parts of Chris’ shirt are ripped up:: AHHHH! I feel so cold…

 

Aya: Come on… is this the best you guys can do?

 

Chris: umm… no? ::kicks up a bunch of dust in the air to block Aya’s view::

 

Aya: This it?

 

Charles: ::running out of the dust with a large amount of light energy in his both hands:: GOT YOU! ::flips in the air, and kicks off one of the energies towards her and spins in the air to kick the other towards her in succession::

 

Aya: ::jumps over the first one and slams her Fuujin ryu into the second one:: IS THAT IT?!

 

Joe: ::runs up and jumps off of Charles with a ryuusei in his hand:: RYUUSEI!

 

Aya: Not good enough! Flash fuujin kick! ::spins in the air… throwing a flying kick of wind into Joe, blasting him into the floor… she once again lands on the floor unharmed:: Aren’t you even going to use the twin ryuusei?

 

Joe: Hmph… fine...

 

Chris: No more holding back… ::takes off weighted sweater… heat waves begin to rise from his body… hair begins to float because of the heat waves… muscles begin to expand::

 

Joe: Trance… twilight phoenix! ::eyes turn blue, front of hair turns blue:: TWIN RYUUSEI! ::forms the twin ryuusei::

 

Charles: RYU TENSHI!

 

Aya: …that huge technique again?

 

Charles: RYU TENSHI ARMOR! ::skin tight armor appears on his legs… blue and white… like CHAD’s arm from BLEACH!::

 

Aya: Oh?… a variation of it?

 

Charles: Yup… ::kicks without forming a light ball… multiple strings of light energy are blown at Aya anyways::

 

Aya: wow! ::rapidly smacks them away with the fuujin ryu:: A unique fighting style based on the move you created?…

 

Charles: yes! ::light energy surrounds his other leg and he does a flying kick towards Aya::

 

Aya backs off to dodge… Charles spins and unleashes more blasts of light from his other leg at her. Aya blocks with her arms… and the attack throws her back…

 

Charles: ::rapidly kicking blasts at her now::

 

Aya: ::thinking:: Unbelievable… this outdoes any of the other styles he has used before… my ryuugan is having trouble protecting me… If I didn’t have this wind break shield… it would be OVER.

 

Charles’ light blasts are being diverted a little bit by a mysterious force.

 

Aya: ::spins in the air rapidly with wind circling around her as Chris and Joe jump at her:: TAKE THIS!

 

Chris and Joe are blown away… Chris lands on his feet and zig zags rapidly towards her… He tries a backhand punch to her, but she blocks… he throws another punch with his other hand underneath it, she catches it with her other hand… Her fuujin ryu has disappeared for now… Chris smiles.

 

Chris: Now that I’ve got you… ::lifts her right above his head::

 

Aya: ::thinking:: What the????

 

Chris throws her up into the air…

 

Chris: ::kicking straight up at her:: Swift Uprising!

 

Aya blocks and catches it… and spins in the air to throw Chris into the ground.

 

Charles: OPENING! ::kicks some more light blasts at Aya::

 

Aya: Hmph… ::uses wind to blow herself left, right, up, and down to dodge the blasts… she flies towards Charles::

 

Charles: meep…

 

Aya shoulder tackles him into the ground… She flips while going due to her momentum and lands on her feet.

 

Joe: ::running up at her with the twin ryuusei::

 

Aya: ::forming the fuujin ryu again::

 

Joe swings the twin ryuusei at her… she blocks it with the fuujin ryu, he spins to the other side and swings it the opposite direction, she swings the fuujin ryu to that side to block it, and quickly does a leg sweep after throwing off Joe’s attack. Joe jumps over it, but she elbows him in the stomach while he’s in the air… He falls to the ground…

 

Chris: haaaaaa…. ::punches into the ground quite a distance away from her:: Earth Slash!

 

The earth cracks… and a large amount of natural energy is embedded in it…(natural energy looks like heat waves) and rushes towards her, breaking up the ground in the process.

 

Aya: ::jumps over it::

 

Chris appears right in front of her in the blink of an eye.

 

Chris: ::punches at her… she blocks, but is thrown back… Chris appears behind her… he punches her forward again… this repeats for a while::

 

Aya: ::thinking:: Dammit, a combination attack… I just need to block the final blow and he’ll be open… Where will it come from……? FROM ABOVE!

 

Chris: ::kicking down from up high:: GYRO RENDAN!

 

Aya: SHIT! ::blocks the downward kick, and senses something coming behind her:: DOUBLE SHIT!

 

Charles has kicked a whole mess of light blasts at her.

 

Chris: HA! ::kicks her with his free foot::

 

Aya: ::grabs Chris and throws him into the light blasts as she goes down::

 

Chris: Ow!

 

Charles: …oops… sorry… ::Chris lands on the floor in la la land, Charles runs to where Aya has landed and tries a knee kick on her, releasing light blasts as she catches it… She smacks the light blasts away with her bare hands… He spins and kicks away more light blasts close range at her from his other leg… Then does a back flip releasing more light blasts in the process at her… she blocks all of them with her bare hands and then moves forward, palm punching Charles in the chest into the ground::

 

Aya: ::hands smoking from the light blasts:: ::breathing heavily::

 

Joe: Umm… let’s stop now…

 

Aya: Huh?

 

Joe: Even you’ll lose if this goes on… and your hands must really be hurting… it also looks like Chris has fractured some of your bones… of course! You also did the same to them!

 

Aya: Where were YOU in the fight? All you did was one thing then leave and watch, then leave.

 

Joe: hahaha, well… I didn’t want to get tired or hurt… ::heart is beating really fast:: ::thinks:: yeah… that’s the reason….

 

Aya: If you thought three on one would be too hard on me and took yourself out of the fight… you’re wrong…

 

Charles: ::still on the floor:: ::weakly:: Why is such a pretty girl so strong…

 

Chris: my back hurts… can I go to the nurse? ::delirious::

 

Aya: Well, I don’t like to leave fights unattended to… ::wraps hands with her sleeve which she ripped off:: These are okay for bandages for now… so, let’s finish this.

 

Joe: Umm… okay…

 

Back to Khoi, Cuong, and Jason…

 

Khoi: ::making struggling noises:: There are only a couple more hours before we have to have that match! COME ON JASON! GET BACK YOUR COOL SELF! ::nuttaps himself again:: oooOOOoooh!

 

Cuong: Sigh… looks like there’s no choice… to get Jason back… we must… FIND TSUBASA AND BEAT THE CRAP OUTTA HIM!

 

Khoi: oooOOOooh! Who said that?

 

Cuong: I did…

 

Khoi: Umm… ::shifts eyes:: I KNOW WHAT WE HAVE TO DO! WE MUST… find Tsubasa and molest him? OooOOOooh! Who said THAT?!

 

Cuong: …anyways, I’m getting kinda hungry again… ::takes out a bag of jelly beans he found lying around in Mika’s dojo:: Want some?

 

Back at Mika’s dojo…

 

Mika’s grandma: …

 

Joe: …

 

Aya: …

 

Charles: …

 

Chris: …

 

Mika’s grandma: …

 

Joe: …

 

Aya: …

 

Charles: …

 

Chris: …

 

Mika’s grandma: so… what happened… here?…

 

Joe, Aya, Charles, and Chris are knocked out on the dojo floor.

 

Mika’s grandma: Oh well… ::opens up a drawer in the dojo:: Hmm…? ::looks around:: Oh my… it’s gone… the mystical bag of mystic beans… uh oh… if someone takes one of those… darn… and I only had about 4 left…

 

Back to Cuong…

 

Cuong: I only had one… but it filled me up good, then I took a nap… There’s only two in here… so one for me and one for you?

 

Khoi: OR BOTH FOR ME?! OooOOOooh! ::Takes the bag and nuttaps Cuong::

 

Cuong: ::takes the nuttap:: WHEN IT COMES TO FOOD! ::starts to fight over it with tubby::

 

Japanese reporter: ::in Japanese:: In Tokyo today, two giant monsters are fighting over a meal… this will have catastrophic effects on the earth… what will happen to Tokyo?!

 

Japanese bystander: ::yelling in Japanese:: OH NO! IT’S FATZILLA AND HIS TUBBY LITTLE BROTHER!

 

Cuong: ::finally has the bag of beans again:: umm… why are they looking at us like that?

 

Khoi: oooOOOooh?They better not be looking at my fat… those pervs…

 

Suddenly… Al appears…

 

Al: Hey khoi… ::looks at Cuong:: Hey…? ……………………… umm… what type of animal is this?

 

Cuong: I’m Cuong…

 

Al: :[pic]: Oh… I mean… hi… ::rubs her arm embarrassed yet amused::

 

Khoi: ::nudges himself in the stomach:: Hey Jason, if you go out with Al… won’t you get over your thingy? After all… remember this? ::gets on knees:: MY PRIIIIIIDDDDDDEEEEEE!

 

Al: umm… what are you doing?

 

Khoi: Umm… oooOOOoooh! I don’t know… anyways… want to hang out?

 

Al: I guess… ::rubs back of head:: Even though I really don’t like you, you smell weird, and have remind me of a weird kinda giraffe…

 

Khoi: ::Makes struggling noises:: IT’S A HIPPO!

 

Al: Well, I don’t know many people here and am kind of bored… so… I guess we can hang out…

 

Khoi: oooOOOOoh! Great! Now then… what should we do?

 

Cuong: umm… won’t I be kind of like a third wheel? So… should I leave?

 

Khoi: hmm… Well… You’re special to me, so… yes.

 

Cuong: Sigh… fine… ::leaves::

 

Khoi: anyways… Jason! Come out here!

 

Jason: What?

 

Khoi: ::Makes struggling noises as Al looks confused as hell::

 

Jason: Geez… fine…

 

Khoi: ::transforms into Jason::

 

Jason: Hey…

 

Al: Umm… I already said hi, you retard.

 

Jason: … ::starts to cry::

 

Al: …geez… ::kicks Jason in the nuts:: HURRY UP YOU FATASS! I DON’T HAVE ALL DAY!

 

Khoi: Sigh… WHY IS SHE SO MUCH LIKE ME?!… it’s… horrifying… yet turning me on! OooOOOooh!

 

While all this weird stuff is going on, Cuong is taking a nap in the park… somebody wakes him up.

 

Cuong: Huh? Who is it?

 

It’s a cloaked figure with a scythe.

 

Cuong: oh, death! HI DEATH! I mean… ::screams like girl:: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

 

Cuong REALLY wakes up now…

 

Cuong: What was that about? I know what it was about… I’m afraid of dying from starvation! ::takes out the jelly beans again:: Just one shouldn’t hurt!

 

Vlaka is walking through the park and notices Cuong.

 

Vlaka: ::thinking:: My blood… it’s boiling at the sight of him… ::clenches fist:: What is this feeling? Are we of… the same type?… ::blood begins to trickle from his fist:: Blood Swor…

 

Necro: What do you think you’re doing… ::right behind Vlaka::

 

Vlaka: You…

 

Necro: Don’t even think of touching them until I do…

 

Vlaka: hmph… chaos necromancer… necro… was it?… controller of death and zombies… I heard you lost to them before.

 

Necro: …shut up…

 

Vlaka: Hmph… I was just looking at him because I was curious… we are after all… of the same type…

 

Necro: Hmph… ::smiles:: same type huh? HAHAHAHAHA! Well, you should know, that he probably outdoes you in every way. Especially in fat…

 

Vlaka: You’re really making me mad… ::throws some of blood from his hand into the air:: Flying needles of blood!

 

The blood solidifies as needles and flies towards Necro.

 

Necro: ::hands glow green:: Is that it? ::bunch of skeletons take the blast and disintegrate::

 

Vlaka: HA! YOUR POWER TO CONTROL IS USELESS AGAINST ME!

 

Necro: Oh shut up! Your breath smells like a monkey’s ass! ::points his glowing green hand at Vlaka::

 

More skeletons rise from the ground and run at Vlaka.

 

Vlaka: ::thinking:: These skeletons have no blood… so I can’t use THAT technique… then this will have to do… ::cuts his arm a bit for blood to trickle down:: Blood sword! ::he swings his arm which has the blood swings out like a whips which cuts all the skeletons in half::

 

Necro: ::thinking:: I didn’t have enough time to mess with people’s minds so I’m running out of ammo… these skeletons will only last me a bit…

 

Necro points his glowing green hand at Vlaka again, a bunch of skeletons with dragon wings burst from the ground.

 

Necro: DIE!

 

Vlaka dodges the skeletons as they explode around him, sending off small shards of bone in every direction… Vlaka gets slashed by them a couple times.

 

Vlaka: WHAT?!

 

Necro: Don’t mess with the chaos necromancer! Puppet Death! ::points his glowing green hand at Vlaka:: You gave me enough time… to gather some reinforcements… ZOMBIE DEATH!

 

People from a nearby office building walk out under Necro’s control…

 

Necro: Their physical attributes are multiplied while they’re under my control…

 

Vlaka: Heh… but you have just allowed me to use this… ::eyes widen enormously… points palm at the zombies:: Crimson RAIN!

 

The zombies’ blood explodes from their bodies into the air… and they fall to the ground… the blood floats around Vlaka.

 

Necro: …what the… creepy ass shit…

 

Vlaka: hehehehehehehheheheheheh hahahahahahahahahahaA! Blood… so much blood… thank you for providing it to me… crimson rain!

 

The blood sharpens into needles and flies at Necro… a large amount of red flame appears and disintegrates the needles.

 

Joule: What are you two doing…?

 

Vlaka: Get outta my way! THERE’S STILL NOT ENOUGH BLOOD!

 

Joule: ::stares at Vlaka whose arm suddenly erupts into flame::

 

Vlaka: ::impervious to it… rips off his own arm:: Fine… if you’re going to be like THAT. ::rips off one of the arms from the corpses and attaches it to himself…:: No, too short… ::rips off another one and puts it on:: This will do…

 

Necro: What the… creepy ass bitch…

 

(Joe note: …wow… this was one creepy ass battle… poor office building people)

 

Joule: You two have made a large commotion… people will be here soon… we must leave.

 

Tsubasa: ::coming out from the shadows:: Where do you think you guys are going after causing such death?

 

Joule: …

 

Necro: …

 

Vlaka: …who are you?

 

Tsubasa: I am Tsubasa… ::wind blows to the side carrying away some cherry blossoms::

 

Vlaka: Tsubasa?

 

Tsubasa: Yes, I am Tsubasa… the god of death…

 

Necro: Wasn’t that Duo Maxwell?

 

Tsubasa: … ::blinks:: Anyways… where do you think you are going?

 

Joule: This is none of your concern… leave… before you get hurt…

 

Tsubasa: Hmph… ::slams hand into the ground:: ARISE! OSARU!

 

Shadows on the ground begin to take form… into a really really inebriated bear… with a mug of ale.

 

Osaru: ::hiccups:: Roar????

 

Joule: ::blinks::

 

Vlaka: What in the world?

 

Tsubasa: This is Osaru… the shadow bear…

 

Osaru: Who?! ::hiccup::

 

Tsubasa: …anyways… Osaru here… has an interesting hunger… you might want to get away from…

 

Necro: what? Beer?

 

Tsubasa: umm… that too… but…

 

Osaru: ::sniffs the air… takes a bite out of something from the ground::

 

Vlaka: …?… ::looks at his shoulder… a piece of it is missing… and starting to bleed, as if something took a bite out of it:: WHAT?!

 

Tsubasa: ::smiles:: Osaru here has a hunger for shadows…

 

Osaru: ::munching on something… farts out something shadow like:: ::hiccup::

 

Joule: That bear… anything he does to our shadows happens to us…

 

Necro: …really now…

 

Osaru: ::sniffs the air again… and runs toward their shadows::

 

Joule: ::lights up some fire to make their shadows disappear::

 

Osaru: ::sniffs the air… takes a bite out of the office buildings shadow… some of the bricks disappear::

 

Tsubasa: ::smacking Osaru:: No! BAD DRUNK!

 

Osaru: ::hiccup:: ::takes another swig of ale:: ::burps::

 

Tsubasa: Anyways, if you’re going to play like that… ::goes into a batoujutsu stance(iga? I think is what it’s called) anyways, a sword drawing stance:: Shadow sword!

 

Vlaka: Ugh! ::goes into the same stance:: BLOOD SWORD!

 

Tsubasa unleashes a long whip like blade of shadow which when formed a bunch of cherry blossoms fly out… he swings it towards Vlaka. Vlaka makes his fist bleed and does a blood sword… they both collide… or about to, when Joule pushes Vlaka down and ducks under the shadow sword…

 

Necro: ::eyes widen::

 

Joule: Ugh… what’s going on…?…

 

Vlaka and Joule have both been cut in half…

 

Joule: It didn’t even touch me…

 

Tsubasa: …I would tell you how it works… but… it’s a secret.

 

Suddenly, Vlaka and Joule’s bodies reattach themselves…

 

Tsubasa: :[pic]:

 

Joule: Thanks… Vlaka…

 

Necro: ::thinking:: Dammit, how can I kill Joule when that blood vampire freak is still around?

 

Vlaka: You’ll need more than that to kill us… but Joule… why’d you push me down?

 

Joule: Your sword would’ve been shattered by his… you could tell the power difference by first glance… I thought I had saved you from being cut in half… I guess not…

 

Tsubasa: ::thinking:: He could sense the power difference….?

 

Osaru: ::hiccup::

 

Tsubasa: Anyways… ::jumps on Osaru:: ::points palm at the three:: I can’t let you leave like this… SHADOW SPELL! ::a large wave of shadow intermingled with cherryblossoms fly at the three::

 

Joule: If that touches you, it’s over… we have to run…

 

They begin to run away… the shadow spell follows them…

 

Tsubasa: it’s impossible to escape! NOW GET EATEN BY MY SHADOWS! THEY’RE HUNGRY!

 

Joule: What power…

 

Suddenly… a black flame dragon collides with the shadow spell… they begin to fight with each other… trying to eat each other… they cancel each other out eventually.

 

Tsubasa: What the?!

 

Seph: ::floating in the air with his black wings:: My my… a strong one has appeared… hasn’t he? That attack… had the same strength as my dark ryuusei… ::points finger at the sky:: Reign of ryuusei…

 

A dark portal opens up from the sky and black flame dragons begin to fly down at Tsubasa.

 

Tsubasa: …Shadow symmertry… ::points palm at the coming dragons:: ::hands made of shadow, intermingled with cherry blossoms… fly out from the ground and grab hold of the ryuuseis, canceling them out…:: Osaru… fly…

 

Osaru: ::drinks every drop of ale and begins to float… with Tsubasa standing on him:: ::hiccup::

 

Tsubasa: ::facing off Seph in the air:: ::the sky begins to get dark::

 

Seph: hello Mr. Death god… I am the death berserker, how do you do?

 

Joule: …

 

Necro: How… how could there be someone as strong as THAT freak? Nobody has been able to match the death berserker… ::remembers the matches they had::

 

Tsubasa: …Osaru… shadow fang…

 

Osaru: ::hiccup:: ::takes out a bottle of beer from its fur and drinks it down… it begins to spin rapidly creating the shadow fang… with Tsubasa standing on top of him… the shadow fang is much larger than Cuongs and is also blowing out cherry blossoms as it spins::

 

The huge cherry blossom shadow fang flies at Seph.

 

Seph: That looks dangerous… ::flies away, being chased by the attack::

 

Meanwhile… with Jason and Al… they’re at a park and it’s 9 pm… two hours before the playboy team match.

 

Jason: Sigh…

 

Al: What’s wrong with you? You’re acting all straight and depressed…

 

Jason: I don’t know… sigh… here you go… ::sticks out an empty hand::

 

Al: What?

 

Jason: ::twists his hand around and a rose mysteriously appears:: Take it.

 

Al: Wow, that was pretty cool… ::takes the rose:: Thanks, you might be cooler than I thought you would be. ::smiles:: So, tell me more about yourself…

 

Jason: sigh… what’s there to know? People call me Jason… I like dancing… and…

 

Khoi: tell her you like honeybuns!

 

Jason: and I DON’T like honeybuns… they go straight to your thighs…

 

Al: Really? But I like honeybuns… especially when they’re wrapped in fruit roll ups.

 

Jason: but… how are you still in great shape?

 

Al: Excersise!

 

Jason: Yeah, well… let’s just say that my other half… doesn’t like to excersise…

 

Khoi: ::makes struggling noises:: I DO!… when there’s food involved… and the prospect of more food to come… ::nods::

 

Back to Tsubasa and Seph…

 

Seph: ::flies back… black flame dragons fly from up top towards Osaru and Tsubasa who are flying towards Seph::

 

Tsubasa: ::does a sword stance again and swings out the large whip like shadow blade which on appearance, bursts out cherry blossoms… it cuts all the ryuuseis:: ::swings it backwards to Seph again::

 

Seph: ::flies above it:: Hmph… easy! I know the trick to that technque now! It’s the same as the bear! It cuts your shadow and also cuts you! An invisible sword! All I have to do is make my shadow avoid the shadow of the sword and avoid the physical version myself! And at this high of an altitude that invisible slash is useless!

 

Tsubasa: You sure like to talk a lot… but my attack… has different variations! ::swings again, but nothing comes out this time::

 

Seph: HmM? ::part of his wing gets cut:: Oh? This time just the invisible one! But?… I see… my shadow in regards to a cloud… pretty clever…

 

Tsubasa: death berserker… don’t make me laugh!

 

Seph: ::ten black flame dragons surround him… he points to Tsubasa:: I won’t… I’ll kill you.

 

The ten of them form a large black flame dragon which flies towards Tsubasa… Osaru throws a liquor bottle into it… which explodes, dispersing the flame.

 

Tsubasa: You must do better than that…

 

Meanwhile… at the Jugan school…

 

Hamtaro: ::typing on a laptop:: It seems two extremely high auras are fighting… in an unknown location… almost like they’re not fighting on the floor…

 

Sousuke: How high are the auras?

 

Hamtaro: Well… say that yours is a 9 out of ten… I’m not sure if this is right but… theirs is… about 20 out of ten…

 

Sousuke: …I see.… how is that possible?

 

Hamtaro: I don’t know…

 

Sousuke: …name the aura’s of the others…

 

Hamtaro: Well… a guy named Uso has 7 out of ten… a guy named Khoi/Jason has near to yours… a guy named Chris has about 6-8… Aya has 10 out of ten…

 

Sousuke: ::grabs Hamtaro’s computer and smashes it on the floor:: Fighting is not about numbers… remember that Hamtaro… Your useless calculations… Fighting depends on your opponent’s style, the situation, the location, and the like… You can never say who will win based on numbers…

 

Hamtaro: Okay… ::whispers to self:: geez… just cuz Aya has higher than you…

 

Sousuke: What was that?

 

Hamtaro: Nothing… ::thinking:: Geez… my calculations are perfect… that’s why… to this day… I have never lost a match…

 

Back to Al and Jason, it’s near ten now, and they’re sitting on some stairs in some neighborhood… one hour till the playboy team match…

 

Jason: So, what about you? Tell me about yourself…

 

Al: Alright… let’s see… I don’t know how I grew up… I’m a mystery child… I like this one guy who took me in… I like ice cream and honeybuns… or icecream ON honeybuns… I like cooking burritos..

 

(Joe note: I’ve been cooking breakfast burritos lately)

 

Al: I like watching comedies… and yeah… that’s it.

 

Jason: I see…

 

Back at Mika’s dojo… Aya has just woken up…

 

Aya: Ugh… who… ::looks down::

 

Joe: ::sleeping and has his hand on her butt::

 

Aya: ::twitches:: ::socks Joe in the face and out the door:: you PERVERT!

 

Joe: ::waking up:: HUH?! What’s going on?

 

Aya: I… I… I… AHHHH! I SLEPT NEXT TO A GUY WITH HIS HAND ON MY ASS! AN UGLY GUY AT THAT TOO! AHHHH!

 

Joe: Who? Charles? Chris? Khoi?

 

Aya: ::throws a big rock on Joe’s head:: YOU!

 

Joe: ::big bump on head:: Geez… it’s not that big of a deal… we share a room! Remember? So we sleep near each other anyways… gosh…

 

Aya: ::thinks:: Oh yeah… but… YOUR HAND WAS ON MY BUTT!

 

Joe: …oh… now that I can’t explain…

 

Ten seconds later… Charles and Chris wake up…

 

Charles: uhh… Joe?

 

Joe: Yeah… it’s me…

 

Charles: …why is your hand up your…

 

Joe: Well… Aya said that punishment is ironic.. so she says how would I like it if someone touched my ass so then she stuffed my own…

 

Charles: Okay Okay! Geez… I get it. ::gets up and walks to the restroom:: You sick freak…

 

Chris: ::points at Joe and laughs:: hahahahaha!

 

Mika’s grandma is now talking to Aya.

 

Mika’s grandma: I told you staying in the same room would lead to trouble…

 

Aya: Yeah, well, it was for training purposes…

 

Mika’s grandma: yeah, right… whatever… ::rolls eyes::

 

Aya: Hey! How cheap do you think I am?! Especially with a guy like that?!

 

Mika’s grandma: You know they say that when a girl or boy bullies someone of the opposite gender, it means they like them.

 

Aya: so I guess every girl likes him then… since practically every girl he’s ever met has beaten him up.

 

Joe getting beat up recap!

 

Joe: See, this is a dream! ::grabs girl’s breast:: Huh? Squishy… real… DAMN MY DREAMS ARE REAL!

 

Ten seconds later…

 

Khoi: How’d she get that pool stick all the way up your…

 

Joe: I don’t want to talk about it! ::crying::

 

Then that other time…

 

Joe: ::yawns and stretches hands back:: …huh? What are these… bumpy things…?

 

Ten seconds later…

 

Joe: ::crying with another really weird injury…

 

Then that OTHER time…

 

Joe: Dang… this room is so dark… I can’t see a thing… Is this the light switch? ::flips it:: Why does it keep bouncing back?…

 

Ten seconds later… It’s too dark to see… but Joe is crying like a girl. Back to the present…

 

Aya: Hmph… see?

 

Mika’s grandmother: Geez Aya, nobody likes a gloater… right Mika?

 

Mika: Yeah.

 

Mika’s grandmother: See?

 

On the roof of the dojo…

 

Joe: …

 

Aya comes and sits down next to him.

 

Joe: hey.

 

Aya: hey… sorry if I overreacted.

 

Joe: sorry if I touched your ass… there’s really nothing to touch though so I don’t see the big deal…

 

Ten seconds later…

 

Aya: damn bastard… I try to apologize and then…

 

Joe: ::with another weird injury, crying:: It was a joke! It felt really good! I was just kidding!… FIX IT! FOR TH E LOVE OF GOD! FIX IT!

 

(Joe note: owwwww…>_< )

 

Back to Tsubasa and Seph… the fight seems to be over… they’re just floating in the air… across from each other…

 

Seph: Well then… it seems we both ran out of steam… I guess it’s a draw…

 

Tsubasa: you would think so… but it isn’t… I can keep on going… this isn’t over until one of us dies…

 

Seph: Well, too bad… I’ll play again with you next time and next time only… ::flies down to the ground:: Seeya around…

 

Tsubasa: ::thinking:: Damn… too tired to follow…

 

Later… Khoi returns to where Cuong was taking a nap… Cuong is gone…

 

Khoi: Oh no… tubby’s gone missing! And it’s almost time for the match! What if… what if… hobos got him?! MAYBE THEY’RE POKING HIS FAT OVER AND OVER AGAIN! OR MAYBE! ALIENS! ::makes struggling noises:: OR HOBO ALIENS WHO POKE HIS BUTT! HIS BUTTTT!!!!

 

Cuong: Uhh… what are you doing? ::has a bag of popcorn::

 

Khoi: oh, hello minime! Whachyu eating? GIVE IT HERE! OooOOOooh!

 

Cuong: NO! GET YOUR OWN FATTY!

 

Jon arrives…

 

Jon: Hey, it’s time to go that nightclub place thingy…

 

Khoi: Are you asking me on a date jon?

 

Jon: what?! WHAT?! WHAT?! No… it’s time for the match…

 

Khoi: oooOOOooh! Darn that playboy team… I’ll rape them so much… ::slams fist into hand::

 

Jon: …wait what?

 

Khoi: Oh I’m sorry… I meant… ::slams fist into hand:: I’ll rape them so much…

 

Cuong: Anyways, did you fix Jason?

 

Khoi: Yup, I sure fixed him good! All he needed was some love… awwww… who said that?!

 

Jason: Shut up ugly! Don’t make me come out there!

 

Khoi: ::starts to fight with himself::

 

Cuong: Right… anyways… off to the match!

 

Jon: HURRAH!

 

At the match place…. Aka the nightclub…

 

Richie: So you’re finally here…

 

Khoi: well duh… You can see us, can’t you? Thanks for stating the obvious Mr. Obvious stater…

 

Awkward pause…

 

Handsome: Anyways, before we start… Playboy team roll call!

 

Famous: I’m famous… Famous for my work in modeling, acting, sports, and love… ::winks and points::

 

Richie: I’m richie! Son of famous entrepreneurs, I have no idea how to back down! Especially in the face of love… plus! I got money! ::takes out wad of cash and smiles with sparkling teeth::

 

Handsome: And I’m handsome! With the chiseled features of a movie star! And together… we are!

 

All: The playboy team!

 

Khoi: well, ladeedah! Furry Sexy Vampire! ::gasps for breath:: Jon… finish for me while my fat recuperates…

 

Jon: FURRY SEXY VAMPIRE TUBBIES ROLL CALL!

 

Khoi: I’m Khoi!… I like… food? And touching tubby! OooOOOOooh! Who said that?!

 

Jon: I’m Jon! They call me the sexy beast! Obnoxiously good looking! And “GET AWAY FROM ME YOU FREAK OF NATURE!”

 

Cuong: I’m Cuong… I’m horribly embarrassed… because… ::rips off outer shirt:: I’M THE SEXY BEAST! ::points at Jon:: he’s ONLY obnoxiously good looking…

 

Jon: ::head droops in sadness:: I just wanted… to seem like the big man in front of Khoi…

 

Khoi: aww… ::nuttaps Jon:: oooOOOoooh!

 

Handsome: …yeah, whatever… losers…

 

Cuong: that’s loosers! With another o!

 

Jon: Uhh… how could you tell they didn’t add the extra o?

 

Cuong: Because they didn’t roll their tongue… like lo-O-ser…

 

Jon: Oh…

 

Khoi: Darn them… don’t know how to roll their tongues… HOW WILL THEY SATISFY ME IF THEY CAN’T ROLL THEIR TONGUES?! ::makes struggling noises::

 

Richie: …anyways… these are the rules of the match… there are still tons of girls in this nightclub… the match’s agenda… GET AS MANY GIRLS AS YOU CAN! THEN YOU WILL BE THE WINNER!

 

Cuong: …wait… wait… wait… how does that deal with fighting?

 

Famous: Well, it’s rather simple really… in a fight… the more handsome and sexy always win… it’s the law of nature…

 

Cuong: …

 

Jon: …

 

Khoi: …

 

Cuong: Are you…

 

Famous: YES I’M SURE! NOW LET’S GET STARTED! I’m about to sign autographs! ::bunch of screaming fan girls run up to him::

 

Handsome: I’m modeling on three different magazines next month… ::bunch of screaming girls run up to him::

 

Richie: I drive a lambourghini and a porche… oh what will I do? ::bunch of screaming girls run up to him::

 

Cuong: umm… I gained a couple pounds…? ::silence::

 

Jon: I got a new violin scar! Wanna see? ::silence… a girl is about to walk up… but her friend grabs her arm and whispers “Are you crazy?”::

 

Khoi: oooOOOOooh? I am a double gold axe at gunbound! I think… ::nobody moves::

 

Complete utter silence…

 

Richie: I’m looking for girls I can randomly spend my money on! Jewelery for everyone! ::More girls run up::

 

Handsome: I’m looking for someone to go to a dance with my good looking self! ::more girls run up::

 

Famous: I’m looking for extras to go in my new music video! ::more girls run up::

 

Jon: ...umm… I have a very rare skin disease that makes my pimples five times more larger than they appear to be…

 

Cuong: I lost my rurouni kenshin dvd’s in my fat… my belly just absorbed it…

 

Khoi: …oooOOOooooh? I like… food?

 

Jason: Gosh you rookies! Let me show you how it’s done!

 

Khoi transforms into Jason…

 

Jason: Sure, money, looks, and fame may be appealing at first… but what can be better later on? A love based on physical things… or true love… based on what really matters……… ::points at a random direction:: you? ::wink::

 

Not strong enough… no girls walk over…

 

Richie: Hmph, you’ll have to do better than that…

 

Joe is sitting at the bar with Aya, Charles, Olivia, Chris, Mika, and Neko-chan.

 

Joe: Hi guys…

 

Jon: When did you guys get here?!

 

Charles: We were always here… ::shrugs::

 

Chris: ::nods::

 

Neko-chan: come on you guys! Get the fuck with it!

 

Handsome: Whoa… did that cat just talk?

 

Neko-chan: ::coughs:: meow, meow… meow?

 

Handsome: Damn straight.

 

Jason: I have an idea… ::runs and picks up Neko-chan::

 

Neko-chan: ::whispering:: You sonuvabitch! What are you doing?!

 

Jason: Just play along… Sigh… this kitten… I found him on the streets… alone… abandoned… nobody liked him… because of his foul mouth and alcohol problems… but I… I… I took him in… and cared for him… because that’s what I am… I am… loving… ::sighs deeply::

 

Girls: awwww…

 

Couple of girls go over to Jason…

 

Jon: HE TRAINS US! HE’S OUR MASTER! THAT CAT CAN…!

 

Cuong: ::grabbing Jon by the mouth:: shut up you moron!

 

Joe: hmm… it seems that the hotness between the playboy group and Jason are canceling each other out… so that they have to rely on everything besides their powers…

 

Chris: Yeah, the girls agreed to vote for whoever they think is better because they were payed to do so… in a real situation, something like this wouldn’t happen without the use of powers… I think…

 

Jason starts again…

 

Jason: ::nudges neko-chan:: Meow…

 

Neko-chan: What?!

 

Jason: Meow!

 

Neko-chan: Fuck you!

 

Jason: do it… and I’ll get you some skotch…

 

Neko-chan: … ::loudly and cutely:: Meow… meow…

 

Girls: awww…

 

They go over to Jason…

 

Richie: Money?

 

Standstill…

 

Handsome: A picture of me…

 

Still a standstill…

 

Famous: Richie… this is bad… we only have two more than them…

 

Jason: ::hands Neko-chan to a nearby girl and kneels:: ::takes out a rose:: I wish for us to get to know each other, so that we may fly into the sunset, not regretting anything in the past as we move to an uncertain future… together…

 

Standstill…

 

Richie: Well, I guess that’s that! WE WIN!

 

Mika: Not yet… I’ll go over to their side…

 

Cuong: ::nudges Olivia:: Come over to our side and I’ll buy ten more holos from your store…

 

Olivia goes over to their side…

 

Handsome: But that means it’s a tie!

 

Joe: Well, there’s one girl left…

 

Everybody stares at Aya…

 

Jason: Of course she’ll go to our side!

 

Aya: Awww… shut up you freeloaders! This is stupid…

 

Richie: ::runs up to Aya:: would you like money?

 

Aya: ::punches Richie in the face:: Do you think I’m that cheap?

 

Handsome: ::runs up to Aya:: hey baby…

 

Aya: Seeya loser…

 

Handsome: ::walks away dejected::

 

Famous: ::runs up to Aya:: would YOU like to be in my next movie?

 

Aya: Well…

 

Pause…

 

Aya: Your movies suck. I’d rather be in a freak show.

 

Famous: …

 

Jon: ::runs up to Aya:: ::starts to play a violin out of nowhere::

 

Aya: …umm… no…

 

Jason: You and me… will be together till the end of time… ::takes out hand::

 

Aya: …how corny and unrefined… are you saying that you’re a clingy bastard who won’t ever let go of me even if I want to break up with you?

 

Jason: …

 

Cuong: ::runs up to Aya and offers her a jelly bean:: Jelly bean?

 

Aya: …hmm… nope…

 

Cuong: Oh well, more for me! ::eats it::

 

Aya: Look, I’m not going to take any side… I’m not some little schoolgirl who goes “ooooOOOOoooh!” at a guy… and I already have a guy I like, so there…

 

Joe: I’ll join Richie’s side if you give me money…

 

Aya: ::slaps Joe on the back of the head::

 

Charles: So… I guess it’s a tie…

 

Cuong: Oh… I don’t feel so good… ::holding stomach:: that jelly bean… ugh…

 

Charles: Are you okay, cuong?

 

Cuong: ::shadows engulf him, everybody screams or looks in terror::

 

Jason: What the?!

 

The shadows leave… and cherry blossoms fly out from them… Tsubasa appears…

 

Tsubasa: ::smiles and winks at the girls:: Hello, I’m Tsubasa…

 

Girl #4: what a kawaii entrance!

 

Girl #20: Tsugoy!

 

All the girls go over to Tsubasa’s side…

 

Charles: Umm… Cuong?

 

Tsubasa: I’m Tsubasa… Tsubasa Cuong… Nice to meet you all…

 

Charles: Tsubasa Cuong? Like in yu yu hakusho… with Kurama and Yoko kurama?! You mean Cuong is taller and sexier than me really?! ::starts to cry and bang his hand on the table::

 

Aya: … :[pic]: That bean!

 

Back at Mika’s grandma’s dojo…

 

Mika’s grandma: Sigh… I wonder where those beans went… for most people it will do nothing… but for some people… it will unleash their hidden strength… oh well, there was only four… and most likely they won’t do anything to a person…

 

The next day… Cuong is in bed… with everybody staring down at him.

 

Cuong: AHHH!! What are you all doing?!

 

Khoi: …he’s back to normal… how… disappointing… oooOOoooh….

 

Cuong: Huh?

 

Charles: …CUONG! WHERE’RE THOSE BEANS! I NEED THOSE BEANS!

 

Cuong: Pff, get your own! I need all the fat I can get! Plus I only have one left!

 

Joe: Wait, wait, wait… so you don’t remember anything that happened yesterday?

 

Cuong: No… geez, now if you’ll excuse me… I need to go take a dump… ::walks into the dojo… all these girls are in there sleeping as if there was a huge party the night before…::

 

Cuong blinks confused…

 

Cuong: umm…. Huh?

 

TO BE CONTINUED!!!!

T.R.A.N.C.E.

 

19th Installment: Re-revenge again

 

Joe is walking with Aya alongside a river…

 

Joe: So… this year… it’s three matches for each team and you have to win two…

 

Aya: yes.

 

Joe: I see, I see… So, that person you mentioned in the club the other day… who is it?

 

Aya: Who?

 

Joe: The person you like…

 

Aya: Oh… ::whispers something to Joe::

 

Joe: …WHAAAA??? HIM?! BUT BUT BUT! He’s… HIM!

 

Aya: Hmph, I shouldn’t have told you then…

 

Joe: …true dat… word dog diggity… diggity dog… umm… doggity dig?

 

Aya: ::nuttaps Joe:: SHUT UP! YOU UGLY BASTARD!

 

Joe: Okay…… ::on floor::

 

Aya: Anyways… who’s the person you like?

 

Joe: hmph… I’m not telling you…

 

Aya: Miharu?… why?

 

Joe: HOW’D YOU KNOW?!

 

Aya: Well, you do always visit her… you do know she doesn’t even know who you are… not to mention that she’s a master of THAT fighting technique and is a priestess…

 

Joe: umm… indeed…

 

Aya: geez… all the guys like Miharu… I wonder why…

 

At a temple on a hill…

 

Miharu: ::sitting in front of a shrine wearing the traditional Japanese red pants, white top thingy:: … I sense… people talking of me…

 

Back to Joe and Aya.

 

Joe: Anyways… when are you going to tell that fag?

 

Aya: In due time… by the way… aren’t you guys going to be facing the team that kills people tomorrow?

 

Joe: Yeah… we’re facing the vengeance team…

 

Aya: well… take these words to heart… If you only fight with power… you will lose… We taught you our arts and disciplines… yet you’ve been using only your powers recently…

 

Joe: …

 

Aya: Your greatest chance will be if you use the techniques we taught you…

 

Joe: I’ll keep that in mind.

 

Aya: Your friend’s team has already qualified to go to the finals… because they won 2 matches… the next match they have is only to get rid of excess fat in the finals. So… I assume you realize that…

 

Joe: Yeah… ::smelling a flower:: This smells like crap…

 

Aya: …that IS crap…

 

Joe: …Crap…

 

Meanwhile… chris is waiting for Joe outside the dojo.

 

Chris: I thought we were going to go scout the vengeance team…

 

Charles: I can go! I’LL BE A GOOD BOY! I PROMISE!

 

Chris: …huh?

 

Charles: I mean… let’s go…

 

Chris: Okay… I think I heard they’re having a match at the alley inbetween that restaurant and the video arcade.

 

Charles: So… we scout… we eat… then we play… GUNDAM BATTLE ASSAUL… HEY! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!

 

Joe comes back… but Charles and Chris have already left… Joe goes into the dojo area…

 

Joe: ::thinking:: I can’t win this with just the ryuusei… or trance…… heh… it’s been a while though… since I’ve fought with my techniques… maybe the 7th installment of N.O.D.A.T.S.S.T.U.P.I.D…… Ever since I learned the ryuusei, I’ve been relying on that… But Aya’s right… this fight won’t be decided by the ryuusei…

 

Jon: What you thinkin’ bout chap?

 

Joe: ::cringes:: Okay, first of all… DON’T SNEAK UP ON ME! Second of all… let’s go to the arcades.

 

Jon: umm… on a date?

 

Joe: NO! We’re going to play fighting games…

 

Jon: …okay?

 

Joe: Let’s see… KoF… Street Fighter… Fatal Fury… Okay, let’s go…

 

Jon: Umm… any reason for this?

 

Joe: Training.

 

Jon: oh… okay! BUY ME SOME GELATOS!

 

Joe: …can you get them around here?

 

Jon: …probably… ::shifts eyes:: MUAHAHAHAHAHA! YESSSSSS!

 

Joe: What are you yelling about?

 

Jon: …umm… porridge?

 

Joe: …okay…

 

Chris and Charles are sitting on top of the building overlooking the alley, eating candy canes… yes… candy canes…

 

Charles: Why are we eating candy canes?

 

CAUSE THEY’RE CHRIS’ FAVORITE FOOD!

 

Chris: no they aren’t… and it’s almost summertime…

 

Charles: ::nods::

 

…Anyways… the Vengeance team arrives… and a scared looking other team arrives…

 

Seph: So you guys are the team we’re facing?

 

Toriyama: Yeah! We are a team that created a unique fighting style that mimics the movement of animals!

 

Seph: …it’s been done before…

 

Beta Y: You guys are weak… ::takes out a couple fans::

 

Necro: …

 

Benitora: Don’t underestimate us! We know you’ve been killing teams! But… your reign of terror stops here!

 

Seph: Psh… whatever… we’ve already won two matches… we qualify… this match is just for fun…

 

Toriyama: if we kill you… it won’t be fun…

 

Itsuki: Yeah… we’ll kill you before the tournament finals… there are no rules against that.

 

Chris: ::Looking on:: I get it…

 

Charles: Huh?

 

Chris: I was thinking that with the amount of people present that first day… that the finals would be huge because it was obvious that not enough teams would get eliminated… but… it seems that the reason for the simple 3 matches for each team is that… the people behind the tournament expect that a lot will die.

 

Charles: …so… they compensate for the deaths.

 

Chris: It seems that the vengeance team isn’t the only team that’s been killing… but we’ve only been hearing about them for a reason… I wonder why…

 

Seph: Are you two just going to look at us all day from your little perch my chickadees?

 

Charles: what are chickadees? Are they good?

 

Chris: …I don’t know…

 

Seph: …hmph… anyways… I’ll answer your question for you… we’re the only ones killing our opponents in the matches… the other assassinations happen after all the 3 on 3 matches are over…

 

Charles: huh?

 

Seph: The teams try to assassinate one another before the finals start… that’s the second test to this tournament…

 

Charles: umm… okay… I don’t get it.

 

Toriyama: Enough talk… FLYING CRANE KICK! ::jumps into a crane position and flies at Seph::

 

Seph: …how stupid… ::swings his arm surrounded with black flame across his body and knocks Toriyama away::

 

Benitora goes to Seph’s side.

 

Benitora: POUNCING CAT CLAWS! ::jumps up at Seph with his arms crossed and his hands facing away from his body in claw formation::

 

Beta Y: This is a pointless match… ::takes out fans:: ::blows Benitora through a brick wall with her fans::

 

Chris: …

 

Charles: …ow…

 

Itsuki: Rushing Ram gores hyena! ::does a flying headbutt towards Seph::

 

Seph: What kind of Jackie chan adventures shit is this? Barbeque roasts rushing ram for dinner! ::creates a wall of black flame which engulfs Itsuki… he comes out of it on fire::

 

Itsuki: AHHHHH! ::tries to roll on the ground to put it out…::

 

Seph: Useless… the black flame cannot be taken out like that… HA!

 

Itsuki burns to death…

 

Chris: eeeh…

 

Charles: eeeeh…

 

Necro: heh, it’s the guy I gave two chaos seals and… I have no idea who that other guy is…

 

Charles: huh?… Who are you?…

 

Necro: ::Falls on the floor in exasperation:: YOU FOOL! REMEMBER IN THE EARLY INSTALLMENTS OF N.O.D.A.T.S.S.T.U.P.I.D.!

 

Charles: ::looks even more confused::

 

Necro: …DON’T YOU REMEMBER THIS?!

 

Flashback…

 

Necro: hahaha… not even your flame can penetrate this armor… you’ll never win.

 

Joe: Tell me… how heavy is that armor?

 

Necro: Pretty heavy… why?

 

Joe: ::points down to the ground::

 

Necro: ::Looks down:: Oh shit…

 

The ceiling is bending under the weight of the armor.

 

Necro: Damn… not good…

 

Necro falls through the roof and the weight of his armor drags him to the ground hard, breaking a lot of his bones.

 

Joe: Idiot… man… that sux…

 

Another flashback…

 

Joule: ::standing on top of the gym, looks sad about something:: Must I do this? Is it my destiny? ::looks up at the sky::

 

Necro: ::arrives in a full body cast:: There you are… give me another chance to get those brats Phoenix…

 

Joule: Sorry… but HQ has given me some orders… Necro… Chaos… Chaos Necromancer… We are all part of the three name band… you, me, and SSE… but… I’ve always been the leader… and as the leader… I must deal out appropriate punishments… After all, I am Joule… Char… and Phoenix… ::his hand suddenly bursts into flame::

 

Necro: ::wide eyes:: Did you put THAT on me?! Wait! Phoenix! Don’t detonate it!! Give me another chance!

 

Joule: what? You disobeyed orders, you jeopardized the situation… Shit like you… ::glances at Necro:: Doesn’t deserve to live…

 

Necro: No! Don’t!

 

Necro explodes in a huge red flame.

 

Joule: Worthless…

 

Back to present…

 

Charles: ::charles style:: …oh yeaaah! How DID you survive that?

 

Necro: heh, Joule put his mark of the rebirth flame on me… I am the only one that survived that technique…thanks to those big ass bandages… I was burned… barely living for months… then I heard a voice… that they still needed me… and then I came to this tournament… to kill Joule.

 

Charles: uhh… but aren’t you guys on the same team?

 

Necro: …no… I will merely wait for the time when he lets his guard down, then he will die… he knows this well.

 

Charles: I see… I don’t get it…

 

Necro: ::falls down in exasperation again:: DARN YOU GUYS!

 

Beta Y: Hmph… this is pointless…

 

Necro: AND YOU! ::points to Beta Y:: WHY DO YOU WEAR THAT MASK ALL THE TIME AND WHY DOES YOUR VOICE SOUND SO FAMILIAR?!

 

Beta Y: Hmph, you’re just imagining things…

 

Necro: ARGH! Damn Joule… what has been going on since I’ve been gone… I haven’t seen SSE anywhere…

 

Seph: Well then… this match is over… ::points to Charles and Chris:: I’ll see you next time… heh… seems THEY really want you dead.

 

Chris: Huh?

 

Seph: The vengeance team… this was our third match… yet we’re having a fourth… against you. Seems like that Sousuke guy wants you guys dead… you guys must have pissed him off badly during that introduction ceremony. Hahaha. Sigh… Oh well, works out well for me… oh yeah… one more thing… ::snaps fingers… the bodies of the opposing team explode in black flame:: I’ll see you guys later…

 

Charles: uhh…… they went boom…

 

Chris: Uhh… yeah…

 

Charles: …okay…

 

Meanwhile, at the arcade…

 

Jon: TAKE THIS! I TRAINED WITH THE HOBOS WHO LIVE IN THE ARCADES! YOU CAN’T DEFEAT ME! GLORIA!

 

Joe: …ouch…

 

Jon: ORA ORA!

 

Joe: ouch again…

 

Jon: MEOW!

 

Joe: OWWWW!

 

Jon takes out a cape and puts it on… He poses…

 

Jon: YOSHA! MY FIFTIETH WIN! TAKE THAT YOU HOMO!

 

Joe: What?!

 

Jon: I mean… hobo… ::shifts eyes::

 

Joe: …okay…

 

Jon: Sigh… so why are we playing KoF so much? And fighting games?

 

Joe: Well… you see… before I created the ryuusei… I was using random fighting styles and stuff I saw on tv and in games… like the shoryuken… so… Aya hinted that I need to go back to that style to win… so here we are!

 

Jon: …dance dance revolution?

 

Joe: OKAY!

 

Joe and Jon start doing dance dance revolution and hitting everything dead on. While doing crazy dance moves…

 

Jap guy #1: …crazy arcade hobos…

 

Meanwhile… back at the dojo…

 

Chris: That was scary…

 

Charles: ::nods::

 

Chris: I’m pretty sure we can take that wind using person…

 

Charles: yeah… but we haven’t seen what that Necro guy can do… and that Joe clone is scary…

 

Off in the distance…

 

Seph: I’M THE REAL ONE!

 

Back in the dojo…

 

Charles: Yeah…

 

Chris: …hmm… I say we let Joe fight him and die… then we run away…

 

Charles: SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN!

 

Khoi: oooOOoooh! DON’T WORRY! ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS TAKE ME ALONG! And if it gets out of hand… I’ll… ::shifts eyes:: …cry…

 

Later… Joe and Jon are playing the newest games on a Japanese ps2 that they just had lying around…

 

Joe: ::playing as Yuri Sakazaki::

 

Jon: ::playing as Iori Yagami::

 

Joe: YOU CAN’T WIN! I’M PRETTIER!

 

Jon: UH UH! I’M PRETTIER!

 

All they are doing are doing the taunting moves on screen without using any of the attacks… Meanwhile…

 

Cuong: ::walking on a really really really big staircase:: I wonder where this leads to… ::gasps for air:: I can’t… do it… too… hard… ::he sits and breathes in some more air… wheezing::

 

Miharu: ::walking down the stairs from the temple place thing:: hello?

 

Cuong: Huh? ::sweating profusely::

 

Miharu: Can you move out of the way please… you’re… blocking the way…

 

Cuong: oh… sorry… ::tries to get up… almost there… almost there… gives up halfway and falls again:: Can you… wait for a sec…?

 

Miharu: … ::smiles:: I guess I shall have to…

 

Cuong: ::looks up:: eh?! Whaaaa…? ::hearts in eyes::

 

Back with Chris and Charles… and Khoi.

 

Chris: There must be something we can do…. Some strategy…

 

Charles: hmm…

 

Khoi: you can… cry?

 

Charles: STOP SAYING THAT!

 

Jason: In the past… when I would be facing an opponent that’s much stronger than myself… Then I would use archers to attack from advantageous positions… then they would have to rush forward… leaving room for a pincer movement from their rear.

 

Khoi: SHUT UP JASON! STOP BRAGGING AND HELP!

 

Jason: …idiot… a sword can only defeat one man at a time… but tactics can defeat one thousand…

 

Khoi: stoOpid… what if it’s a really really big sword that can kill 5 people at a time? Hee hee… I beat JASON in tacticatal knowledgeable!!

 

Jason: …moron…

 

Charles: Well… we can dash at him! USE LIGHT PUNCHES THEN USE OUR BURNING FINGER UPPERUT!

 

Chris: …huh?

 

Charles: Or we can just keep on doing buster rifles… or knock him on the ground with our downward kick then use Gundam Hammer right after…

 

Chris: …uhh…

 

Khoi: oooOOOoooh! THAT SHOULD WORK!

 

Jason: …fags…

 

Aya: ::arriving:: You guys are idiots… really… really… big idiots… tactics usually depend on location, your opponent’s skills, your skills, and likewise… every factor has to be taken into account… Now where is this match supposed to be held?

 

Charles: Some sort of abandoned parking building… I think…

 

Aya: Will it be night?

 

Charles: Yeah…

 

Aya: Okay then… a parking building has several different levels or floors. It also should have things like pillars and stuff where you can hide behind. That means, it’s a very large area in which to move… So, when you see your opponents, don’t automatically rush them… split into different positions… ::draws out a map of the parking building on a piece of paper::

 

Khoi: oooOOoooh? ::draws a squirrel on a piece of paper::

 

Aya: Two of you stay on this level where the two teams meet… One to the left behind this pillar and the other to the right behind this pillar. And you have to move fast in the dark to get these positions. The third person will draw their strongest person from this level into an upper area.

 

Charles: huh? But wouldn’t that person die? Going one on one with their strongest.

 

Aya: No… he is to not fight with their strongest… He is only supposed to keep him occupied while the other two in the lower level split the two others from the team and beat them using surprise and guerilla tactics in the dark…

 

Charles: Like NINJAS!

 

Aya: …umm… yeah, whatever… Now then, there’s a wind user on their team, correct?

 

Chris: ::nods::

 

Aya: Then smiley here will have to fight her…

 

Charles: Waaahhh? Why?

 

Aya: Because long range light attacks can’t be blocked by wind… Not HER weak wind anyways… Light is not affected by wind… if that wind user doesn’t understand how to… I’m guessing she doesn’t, so you have a better chance against her than speedy Gonzalez who’ll have to get close to attack and then get blown away by wind.

 

Charles: …okay…

 

Aya: Also, we don’t know what their third guy’s powers are for sure… so a fast attack in the dark from behind is the best option… and the person with enough speed to do it is speedy.

 

Charles: Then… the third guy?

 

Aya: Then after you defeat the two… go up into the upper level and face their strongest 3 on 1, which will give you the advantage.

 

Khoi: uhh… I don’t get it… ::doing the same exact thing in Final Fantasy Tactics as she was saying it::

 

Charles: Well, we haven’t seen Joe all day… hopefully he’ll come so we can tell him the plan…

 

With Joe and Jon…

 

Joe: I don’t think I’ll go to the dojo tonight… Let’s just play games…

 

Jon: YAY! So… get a strategy for the match from these games?

 

Joe: yeah… rush head forward into all three and destroy them all!

 

Jon: ALRIGHT! ::punches in the air:: GLORIA!

 

Joe: …who’s Gloria?

 

Jon: umm… ::shrugs:: some… old… lady? Anyways… it’s time for…

 

Joe and Jon: MORE DDR!

 

The day of the match… They’re eating breakfast at Mcdonalds…

 

Cuong: ::still with hearts in his eyes:: Who was that… girl…

 

Khoi: Geez… stop looking at my mcmuffin with your lustful eyes you perv!

 

Charles: Yeah… I think…

 

Chris: Where’s Joe?

 

Khoi: Where’s Jon? Maybe they eloped… ::makes struggling noises:: WITHOUT ME?!

 

Charles: hahahahaha! Sigh… it’s funny cause they’re married…

 

Khoi: ::nuttaps Charles:: I’M THE STUPID ONE AROUND HERE!… hee hee… it’s funny cause they’re married…

 

Chris: anyways… hopefully Joe will make it…

 

Khoi: And if he doesn’t… I’ll…………………… cry…

 

Charles: Stop saying that…

 

Khoi: or… I’ll… cry…

 

Charles: SHUT UP!

 

Khoi: or… I’ll… cry…

 

Charles: WHY WON’T YOU SHUT UP?!

 

Khoi: because… I’m… crying…

 

Chris: Anyways… what happened to Cuong?

 

Mika enters the mcdonald’s…

 

Mika: Have you seen my sister?

 

Khoi: …AHH! WHERE’S NEKO-CHAN?! Ayyah!

 

Mika: Yeah, “aya,” where is she?

 

Khoi: not “aya!” You noob! It’s AYYAH!

 

Charles: Anyways… yeah… we’re missing a lotta people…

 

Neko-chan is on top of a wall, staring at the parking building that the match is going to take place in.

 

Neko-chan: Death berserker… hmm… huh? ::notices someone in the parking building waiting::

 

Aya: ::in the parking building:: ::tapping foot::

 

Neko-chan: ::thinking:: It seems that I’m not the only one who is curious about that death berserker…

 

Meanwhile, Cuong is wandering about the city with Mika’s grandma…

 

Cuong: …Do I have to carry all these groceries?

 

Mika’s grandmother: Yes. You stole our mystical beans… and trashed my house with your party.

 

Cuong: Sigh… How’d I get from meeting the girl of my dreams to hanging out with an old lady?

 

Mika’s grandmother: …I heard that…

 

Later, it’s the time of the match… Chris, Charles, and Khoi are there… it’s late at night… They’re eating popcorn.

 

Chris: By the way, where’d you get this popcorn Khoi?

 

Khoi: Oh… ::mouth full of the stuff:: I… found it… at… ::shifts eyes:: oooOOOoooh!

 

Chris: …

 

Charles: …

 

Chris and Charles begin to spit it out.

 

Seph: Heh… what are you guys doing?

 

Beta Y: …

 

Necro: Geez…

 

Charles: Umm… this isn’t what it looks like…

 

Seph: ::Notices Khoi:: Huh? What are you doing here?

 

Khoi: Umm… looking for hot girls? OooOOOooh! Who said that?

 

Seph: …whatever… I’ll kill you later…

 

Khoi: NOT IF I DIE FIRST! ::jumps out of the parking complex, they were on the third floor:: I CAN FLY! HEE HEE! I’M PUTTING MYSELF IN DANGER!

 

Chris: …

 

Charles: …

 

Beta Y: Gosh, idiot…

 

Necro: …

 

Seph: …anyways… it seems that you guys are missing a member…

 

Chris: Uhh… no we’re not…

 

Seph: uhh… yes you are…

 

Chris: No, we’re not…

 

Seph: Yes you are!

 

Chris: Okay okay… we are…

 

Seph: I guess that fake chickened out…

 

Charles: HE DIDN’T CHICKEN OUT! I’M SURE THAT THERE’S A REALLY GOOD REASON FOR HIM BEING GONE!

 

At the arcades… the music is still going… and Jon and Joe are still playing DDR.

 

Joe: ::getting tired::

 

Jon: ::full of energy:: BUM BUM BADAH! BUM BUM BUM! Lalalalala!

 

Joe: What time is it?

 

Jon: It’s time for you to get owned by my crazy dancing skills! YESSSSSS! YESSSSS! I’M SO OBNOXIOUSLY GOOD AT DANCING!

 

Joe: ::knocks Jon off the dance pad…::

 

Jon: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

 

Joe: ::checks a nearby clock:: uh oh…

 

Jon: …uh oh…

 

Joe: Yeah, we’re LATE!

 

Jon: no, not that… umm… ::points out the window::

 

Mashimaro is riding a motorcycle and driving on the streets wildly.

 

Mashimaro: YEAAAAAH! WHOOOO! PARTY!

 

Jon: Hee hee… silly Mashimaro…

 

Joe: OH CRAP! GET OFF THAT THING!

 

Back with Charles and Chris…

 

Charles: yup, a really really good reason!

 

Beta Y: hmph, whatever… the fact is… you are the only guys here… and the match time is about to begin. So I guess… ::looks serious:: It’s 3 on 2… ::takes out fans… and slowly moves one across her face::

 

Charles: Umm… did I fight her before? Cause this seems unfamiliar…

 

Neko-chan is watching from the top of a building…

 

Neko-chan: When Meta X and Beta Y first appeared… they greatly outdid that guy in power… hmm… with all the improvements he made… He might be at her strength now. However… I wonder if he was able to finally make his style complete. Random to Janken… to some big ass robot… fucking almost killed me… but now what is it?

 

Aya is likewise watching from the top of a building…

 

Aya: …Her aura… is odd… as if it’s fake strength… I fought that light guy… he had some pretty weird armor technique… and that natural energy guy… he had made improvements… However… ::looks at Necro with serious eyes:: His aura… greatly… greatly… outdoes them both… and… ::looks at Seph:: He’s… the most dangerous of all.

 

Back to the match floor…

 

Chris: …

 

Charles: Hmm…

 

Khoi: Well then, I guess I have to substitute as the third member! OooOOOooh!

 

Chris: No.

 

Khoi: Yup yup… I will… whaaaa??? ::gets into a gay pose::

 

Chris: This is our fight… even if it’s just us two… we have to do this alone.

 

Khoi: Umm… who said that?

 

Charles: Umm… I think he’s right… You… go over there. We’re stronger now, so we don’t need you.

 

Beta Y: ::notices Khoi for the first time:: You… ::about to swing fan at him:: I’LL KILL YOU!

 

Khoi: oooOOOooh?!

 

Seph: ::grabs Beta Y’s hand:: Now now, that’s not the time for that…

 

Beta Y: but he… he… he killed Meta X! ::calming down:: Fine, I’ll save my revenge for later…

 

Khoi: Meta who? Who said that?! OooOOOooh!

 

(Joe note: He seriously forgot who Meta X was…)

 

Chris: Anyways, Khoi… leave…

 

Khoi: Umm… okay… ::walks down to the lower levels of the parking complex and leaves::

 

Khoi walks reaches the base level and Neko-chan’s in front of him.

 

Khoi: SO THERE YOU WERE! WHERE WERE YOU YOUNG LADY?! OooOOOooh!

 

Neko-chan: We’ll need to move to a higher place…

 

Khoi: huh? Why?

 

Neko-chan: …do you really think this match will end in the parking complex?

 

Back to the match level…

 

Charles: So… ::sweatdrop:: I guess we… abandon Aya’s plan and just go for it?

 

Chris: ::nods::

 

Charles: okay then… GUNDAM FIGHT! READY! GO!

 

Seph: …

 

Beta Y: …

 

Necro: …idiot…

 

Charles: umm… zoid battle? Vengeance team vs. Speedy ninja boba team! READY! FIGHT!

 

Seph: …

 

Beta Y: …

 

Necro: …faggot…

 

Chris: 1, 2, 3, GO!

 

All five dash at each other… meanwhile…

 

Joe: ::driving the motorcycle with Jon on the back, and Mashimaro locked in Jon’s backpack::

 

Mashimaro: HEY! THIS AIN’T COOL YA! LET ME OUT! IT’S PARTY!!! YOU GOTTA FIGHT! FOR YOUR RIGHT! TO PARRRRTTTTTYYYY!

 

Joe: SHUT UP!

 

Jon: Umm, Joe… Can you even drive a motorcycle?

 

Joe: psh… I can drive anything with wheels…

 

Jon: Then uhh… can you go forward instead of reverse?

 

The motorcycle is going backwards as people on the street jump out of the way…

 

Joe: But we’re making good time!

 

Jon: …I’m scared… I never even saw a motorcycle go backwards like this… can they even go backwards like this?!

 

Joe: ::shrugs:: I’M JOE! I’M JOE! I’M JOE! I’M JOE! I’M JOE! I’M JOE! I’M JOE! I’M JOE! I’M JOE! I’M JOE! I’M JOE! I’M JOE!

 

Jon: WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?!

 

Joe: Uhh… I commend you?

 

Jon: ON what?!

 

Joe: …on being… pimply?

 

Jon: …well I have been eating extra pizzas… wait… NO!

 

Meanwhile… Chris dodges Beta Y’s wind blades… Chris runs at her from the side… A weird looking sword connected by a string swings in front of him… making him jump back…

 

Chris: What?…

 

Necro: Heh… my armor technique was too heavy… so I created this… ::has two strange looking swords connected by a wire:: Chaos Blades! ::points one of the swords at Chris:: ATTACK!

 

Several skeletons burst from the stone floor.

 

Chris: Tch…

 

A huge mass of light blasts come and shatter them… Charles has the blue and white armor on his legs again.

 

Charles: NOT EVEN!

 

Charles’ back explodes in black flame.

 

Charles: WHAT?! ::blown forward::

 

Seph: Look behind you! FOOL! ::black flame circling his hand::

 

Charles: ::thinking:: Shit… what’s with this flame! It’s not going out! UNLESS! ::unleashes light energy from his back to make the flames go out::

 

Seph: Oh! You can take it out!

 

Charles: Don’t fuck with me! ::blue and white armor on leg glows brightly… Charles runs at Seph and does a sliding kick… ripping a large crack in the stone floor as he slides toward Seph… with the light energy surrounding his leg::

 

Seph: HEH! ::punches the ground out with his black flame… Charles and Seph get sucked into the lower floor::

 

Chris: SMILIE! I MEAN! CHARLES!

 

Necro: DON’T LOOK AWAY! ::running at Chris… slices down… chris dodges to the side… Necro slashes across with his other sword… Chris jumps back… but a cut appears on his sweater::

 

Chris: Tch!

 

Beta Y: TAKE THIS! ::shoots a large amount of wind blades at Chris::

 

Chris: DAMMIT! ::punches out the floor to get sucked down to the lower level and escapes the wind blades::

 

Necro jumps through the hole Chris created to chase after him…

 

Necro: NOT GOOD ENOUGH!

 

Beta Y creates another hole in the ground by slashing it up with wind and goes down to the lower level.

 

Beta Y: What?!

 

A large amount of light blasts are coming her way…

 

Beta Y: ::gets hit by them and rolls on the floor for a while::

 

Charles: THIS IS THE END! ::kicks more light blasts at her with his light armor on his legs::

 

Beta Y: ::rolls out the way of some of them, hops to her feet… and jumps back twice to dodge the rest, which damage the ground:: ::puts both her fans together and makes a huge amount of wind blow at Charles::

 

Charles: Ugh! ::trying to stay his ground as he puts his hands in front of his face and leans forward against the wind::

 

Necro: ::points another sword at Chris:: RISE AND ATTACK!

 

More skeletons appear from the stone ground…

 

Chris: ::runs through all the skeletons who all try to hit Chris as he runs by but they miss:: ::runs at Necro::

 

Necro throws one of the swords at Chris… Chris dodges to the side and keeps running… Necro throws his other sword at Chris… Chris dodges to the side again… Before the wire gets out of reach, Necro grabs it and starts spinning it around… making the swords come back and twirl around him. Chris jumps back to avoid it… Necro grabs the hilts of the swords again.

 

Necro: caught you!

 

Skeleton arms burst from the ground and grab Chris’ legs.

 

Chris: What?!

 

Necro: ::running at Chris with his two swords:: DIE!

 

Chris catches Necro’s hands as he tries to swing them down… stopping him from attacking with the swords.

 

Necro: what?…

 

Chris: Heh… caught you! ::jumps up, ripping off the skeleton arms as he does so… and leverages himself using Necro’s arms… He then kicks off on Necro, using both legs… Necro gets kicked far away, Chris flips to his feet and runs towards Necro… Necro has used one of his knees to get midway up from the fall as more skeletons burst from the ground in front of Chris::

 

Chris: NOT ENOUGH! ::punches the ground out from below the skeletons, forcing them all to go down. Smoke and rubble rises from the ground::

 

Out of the smoke jumps out Seph. Seph flips a kick into Chris, Chris blocks the kick, but Seph is still near Chris and surrounds his hand with black flame. He spins in mid-air stabs down with his black flame…

 

Chris: Shit…! ::puts his hands up to guard::

 

Seph’s black flame disappears. Seph flips backwards to his feet.

 

Seph: YOU?!

 

Chris: ????

 

Joe: … ::his hand on blue flame, the black flame is mixing with the blue flame… the blue flame absorbs it and grows brighter:: ::looks serious::

 

Seph: Heh.

 

Charles is still kicking light blasts at Beta Y.

 

Beta Y: DAMN THAT WEIRD STYLE!

 

Charles gathers light energy to his leg… and knees Beta Y into a wall, which breaks and falls… Beta Y and Charles’ momentum carries them out of the office building… Beta Y uses her wind to break her fall… Charles uses his light energy to do so too… with a big splash… They have landed in a river. Yet they are standing on the water…

 

Charles: You can do it too?!

 

Beta Y: DON’T LOOK SO SURPRISED! IF I CAN’T USE MY ENERGY TO KEEP MYSELF AFLOAT! THEN I’M A… ::throws more wind blades at Charles:: WEAKLING!

 

The wind blades cut across the water, Charles jumps high into the air to dodge them… He kicks light blasts at Beta Y. The water around her explodes up blocking her from view… The water dies down, she has her arms crossed across her chest with fans out fully extended… as water slowly drips back down from the air.

 

Beta Y: Come on…

 

Joe is using his blue flame in his hands to attack Seph. Seph is using his black flame to dodge.

 

Seph: Persistent fake…

 

Joe: Shut up! ::grabs Seph’s arm and throws him over his back onto the floor behind him:: ::punches straight down at Seph’s body… Seph flips back up and dodges it. Seph kicks at Joe’s head. Joe blocks with his hand and pushes it away, Joe stands himself up with his left hand and swings both feet with blue flame to kick at Seph sideways.::

 

Seph gets knocked a little away. Joe stands and kicks twice at him, alternating each foot, both bursting blue flame at intervals. Seph dodges, spins and attacks with a hand of black flame. Joe spins to dodge and spins some more, jumps into the air and delivers a kick propelled by blue flame at Seph.

 

Chris is running around all the skeleton minions that Necro has summoned. Knocking them down as he goes… Necro runs at Chris, swinging his two swords. Chris continues to dodge, grabs a nearby skeleton minion and throws it into Necro… Necro gets pushed back… Chris begins to deliver an assortment of kicks to Necro. Chris ends it with a downward kick to the ground… making them go down to the base level, Chris kicks at Necro… Necro retaliates by slashing back… Chris flips over the slashes… starts to run to gain distance from Necro’s weapons… Necro chases… They end up in a nearby construction site… Chris slides to a halt, lifts up a metal beam and swings it hard at Necro from the side.

 

Necro: Hmph… ::the metal beam has been sliced in two as Necro holds one of his swords to his side::

 

Chris: Ugh…

 

Necro: Let’s slow this dance down… shall we… ::points sword at Chris, more skeleton minions rise from the ground:: I AM… ::stares intently and furiously:: THE CHAOS NECROMANCER!

 

Charles is chasing Beta Y… on the river. She is literally floating a little and hovering backwards to dodge Charles’ attacks. Charles is literally in the sky following… going down to the ground every now and again to jump back up.

 

Beta Y: Damn him… that armor… allows him to float in the air… ::throws a large wind blade at Charles::

 

Charles: ! ::his ARM becomes surrounded by the blue and white armor… he punches through the wind blade… with light energy erupting from his fist…::

 

Beta Y: ! The armor! Is on his arm now?!

 

Charles: ::rushing downward at Beta Y:: DIE! ::punches into the water near her she dodges, the light energy makes the water burst up high… A large light blast splits the floating water as it runs towards Beta Y::

 

Beta Y: IT’S MORE ACCURATE THAN BEFORE! ::Dodges to the side… her mask gets cracked a little by the furosity of the attack:: How?!

 

The water dies down… The armor on Charles’ arm has extended to form a bow of the same strange material which Charles is pointing to Beta Y.

 

Beta Y: …a bow… that shoots light energy… accurately…

 

Charles: This is the result of every style I’ve ever had… the ultimate light style! Byakuya! True light!

 

(Joe note: hahaha, name of a song)

 

Beta Y: Just like artemis huh…

 

(Joe note: referring to greek mythology… but I’m not sure if she got the figure right… she never went to school…)

 

Charles: Artemis?! I’m not friggin’ owl!

 

(Joe note: reference to Disney movie…)

 

Beta Y: …dumbass… but I can’t hold back anymore! ::puts one hand high up with one fan and one hand down low with another fan:: ……………………….come.

 

Back in the parking complex.

 

Joe: ::swings backhand of blue flame at Seph, Seph ducks down low… right into Joe’s kick… Seph literally gets kicked out of the opening in the parking complex wall::

 

Seph: ::in midair, he points to the sky… Several black ryuuseis rain down into the parking complex, making it finally collapse to the ground:: ::uses black flame to halt his fall, and he lands on the floor:: GOT HIM! HA!

 

Out of the rubble and smoke… bursts out Joe in Trance form with a twin ryuusei in his hand. Joe flips in the air… and does a downward strike at Seph with the twin ryuusei.

 

Seph: ::black flame propels him backwards to dodge the twin ryuusei which leaves a large gash in the floor:: WHY WON’T YOU DIE?!

 

Joe: NOT UNTIL YOU DO, WILL I DIE! ::fires a ryuusei into the ground with the hand that does not have the twin ryuusei on it, which travels along the ground towards Seph… it collides with his body and explodes::

 

The smoke clears… Seph has his black wings folded around his body… They unfold and reveal his body which is unharmed… He is now in Trance.

 

Seph: ::flying into the air:: You’re really pissing me off…

Joe: Indeed…

 

Seph: ::points at the sky:: REIGN OF RYUUSEI!

 

Tons of black ryuuseis rain down on Joe… Joe runs across the ground as they barely miss… hitting the position where he was in just a second before…

 

Joe: ::thinking:: DAMN! HAVE TO KEEP RUNNING!

 

Seph flies after Joe… continuously summoning the ryuuseis at him… Joe dodges one to the right as he runs, dodges one to the left as he runs… one lands right in front of him, he flips over it as it explodes… and it continues…

 

Charles is high in the air again… he kicks more light blasts at Beta Y, spins and fires off a more accurate light blast from his arm armor bow at her.

 

Beta Y: ::still hovering away from the blasts:: ::throws some wind blades into the water to make it rise up and absorb the light blast from the bow:: ::retaliates with a large tornado like attack at Charles… Charles lands on the ground right when it comes at him… He punches through it again… and fires off a light blast from his arm bow as he does it straight at Beta Y::

 

Beta Y spins rapidly with her arms extended to the sides… making the water around her rise and absorb the light blast.

 

Charles: ::thinking:: Shit, the water gives her the advantage…

 

At the construction site… Chris punches into the ground to take out all the skeleton minions… out of the smoke created by the attack… jumps out Necro… who throws one of his swords at chris… it spins around chris and ties the wire around him, binding him.

 

Chris: SHIT!

 

Necro flies down at Chris with a downward stab.

 

Necro: NOW YOU LOSE!

 

Joe rushes by quickly… breaking Necro’s sword with the twin ryuusei… Joe grabs the tip of the sword that broke off… and quickly throws it into the air at Seph.

 

Necro: What?!

 

Seph: UGH! ::the piece of sword cuts across his wing, but only does minimal damage…, but it distracts him long enough so that he stops firing the black ryuuseis::

 

Joe: CHRIS! DON’T DIE! ::runs vertically up one of the beams of the building they’re making… and jumps backwards up at Seph with the twin ryuusei:: I HAVE YOU!

 

Seph flies higher up into the air to dodge and points his finger at the sky again… Joe lands on the ground and automatically starts running in another direction… as the black ryuuseis begin to fall again.

 

Seph: YOU PERSISTENT BASTARD! ::chases after Joe::

 

Chris: ::breaks free of the wire…:: Don’t die…

 

Necro: ::Throws away the broken sword, puts his hand out:: Chaos blade! ::the dirt and bone from one of his skeletons rise from the ground and form another sword which he grabs:: HEHEHE! Come on!

 

Chris: I see, that’s what those swords are made of… if it’s useless to break them… then… I’ll break…

 

Necro: ::sweatdrop::

 

Chris: Your bones! ::takes off sweater:: ::violent wind begins to spin around him… his hair begins to fly up:: ::veins from his body begin to burst::

 

Necro: ::thinking:: That’s… adrenaline… lots of it… rushing through his veins! Impossible! Nobody can call upon adrenaline! If a normal human gets three times the strength from adrenaline… then this guy……………

 

Chris: ::muscles suddenly much larger:: Come on… Let’s finish this!

 

Aya, Neko-chan, Jon, and Khoi are all watching from the same rooftop now…

 

Neko-chan: Well, since we’re all watching…

 

Aya: Yes… we might as well… watch…

 

Jon: Where’s Mashimaro?

 

Khoi: Oh… he was getting annoying so I kicked him off the building… but… I’ve never seen fights like these…

 

Neko-chan: It seems that Charles has taken all that he has learned and has created the best style for himself from those… that Chris guy’s growth is fucking amazing… and Joe… he was…

 

Jon: yeah, he was using fighting moves for the most part… and his reflexes are a lot better now… thanks to… THE ULTIMATE JAPKID TRAINER!

 

Aya: Yeah… but… Joe will lose… Charles will lose… and Chris… Chris… might win… but… they’re still at a disadvantage… ::gets angry:: If only they went with my plan! THOSE BASTARDS!

 

Neko-chan: If only they consulted me… THOSE BASTARDS!

 

Khoi: If only they had sex with me… THOSE BASTARDS! I mean… who said that? ::looks around idiotically::

 

Jon: you guys can actually see their fights? But they’re all away from each other now… I can’t even see them…

 

Neko-chan: We can tell what’s going on… by the traces of their killing intent… and my Cat’s eye technique… ::pupils dilate::

 

Aya: My Fuugan can see the traces of the wind and the wind tells me what’s happening…

 

Khoi: …me… I don’t know how I can tell… but it’s like… I can see at least one of the fights…

 

Aya: ::stares at Khoi:: huh?

 

Khoi: I can see… Joe’s fight.

 

Chris stares off with Necro…

 

Chris: Let’s end this in the next attack…

 

Necro: Fine by me…

 

They rush at each other…

 

Charles is now in the water… barely floating… breathing hard…

 

Charles: hu… hu… hu…

 

Beta Y: ::still fine:: Heh, as I was taking my time… You were expending your energy all the time… you fool… now then… ::sticks up hand which has glowing green tattoo:: Supercharge…

 

Charles: Not yet! ONE MORE ATTACK! ::sticks up his arrow bow… the armor from his leg disappears… and adds to the light energy into the arrow bow:: NOT LONG RANGE! BUT! ::rushes at Beta Y:: POINTBLANK PUNCH OF LIGHT ENERGY SHOULD FINISH YOU!

 

Beta Y: he’s combining his long range and close range attack?! ::puts both her fans together::

 

Joe is still running from the black ryuusei attacks from the sky.

 

Joe: ::breathing heavily:: ::twin ryuusei has died down considerably:: I… ::breathes hard:: Won’t lose… ::stops running and turns to Seph who is still in the sky and is not looking tired at all::

 

Charles is running at Beta Y.

 

Charles: I WON’T LOSE!

 

Chris is running at Necro.

 

Chris: I won’t… ::eyes widen intensely:: LOSE!

 

Joe powers up the twin ryuusei again… Seph laughs…

 

Seph: Don’t be reckless now… You look tired… and I’m all the way up here…

 

Joe: ::quietly smiles to himself:: I led you to this spot for a reason…

 

Seph: :[pic]: Those times… ::remembers all the times when Joe attacked with the twin ryuusei but hit the ground instead, missing Seph::

 

Joe: I WAS missing… but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t doing something else!

 

Several ryuusei’s burst from the ground directly under Seph… They grab him and drag him down…

 

Seph: BASTARD! YOU PLANNED THIS!

 

Joe: My flame is not long range like yours… but… if there’s a earth element around… I can have it travel along that… AND NOW! IT’S THE END! ::runs at Seph with the twin ryuusei::

 

Aya, Neko-chan, and Khoi suddenly notice something.

 

Aya: Let’s go!

 

Neko-chan: Fuck…

 

Khoi: …JASON! ::transforms into Jason::

 

Jason: You sense it too…

 

Jon: Ara? What’s going on?

 

Jason, Aya, and Neko-chan dash off into different directions.

 

Jon: uhh…

 

At the river… Charles is floating in the river with a large gash across his chest.

 

Charles: ugh…

 

Beta Y: Hmph… you still are weak… ::takes out fans and fully extends them::

 

At the construction site… Chris is kneeling on the floor with a sword stabbed through his arm and another in his leg… He’s twitching one eye in pain…

 

Necro: ::his arm is broken… and his face has a large cut on it:: You sure did a number… but… Chaos Blade! ::creates another sword:: This is the end…

 

Where Joe and Seph are…

 

Seph: !?

 

Joe: … ::coughs::

 

Seph: …You… you have THAT injury…

 

Joe: …… ::kneeling on ground… grabbing heart… coughing up blood:: ::thinking:: Not now…

 

Seph: Heh… ::black flame bursts from his body… destroying the ryuuseis that hold him:: Not that it would make a difference… even if you didn’t have that injury… I would’ve still prevailed… but… ::eyes widen in anger:: NOBODY TOUCHES ME! ::remembers when Joe slashed his wing with Necro’s sword:: ::whole body gets engulfed in black flame and he flies up:: ::the black flame around his body forms a large phoenix of black flame:: ::he dives down at Joe in that form::

 

Joe: Shit…

 

Beta Y is on the floor… her fans are ripped apart

 

Beta Y: What…?!

 

Neko-chan: You’ve already won the match… don’t take it far…

 

Beta Y: ::thinking:: That cat… did this… what in the hell…

 

Necro’s sword has been broken again… Aya is holding it inbetween her middle and index finger…

 

Necro: Bitch… what do you think you’re doing?

 

Aya: Fight’s over…

 

Necro: I’ll kill you…

 

Aya: With that broken arm? You think you can?

 

Necro: … ::thinking:: Damn… she’s right…

 

Aya: If you think you can… FUUGAN! ::eyes turn green::

 

The black flame phoenix is heading straight for Joe.

 

Joe: …am… I… going to die? AGAIN?!

 

Jason in Berserker Form intercepts the black flame phoenix with a heavenly 8.

 

Jason: UGH! He’s still too strong like this! DAMMIT!

 

Seph: ::eyes glowing red in the black flame phoenix:: OUT OF MY WAY!

 

Joe: …you… what do you think you’re doing?

 

Jason: Shut up fag… this fight is over!

 

Joe: …fag? FAG?!

 

Jason: WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU FIGHT WITH AN INJURY?!

 

Joe: …

 

Jason’s hands are starting to get burned…

 

Jason: Tch…

 

Seph: YOU CAN’T STOP THIS ATTACK!

 

Jason’s attack rebounds off of the black flame phoenix… and he gets rebounded back… Joe catches him… They are both out of trance form though… While the black flame phoenix still exists…

 

Jason: Shit! That attack… is too strong… I’m turning back into…

 

Khoi: oooOOoooh? ::changes back into Khoi::

 

Seph dives down again…

 

Seph: HAHAHA! I’LL KILL BOTH OF YOU NOW!

 

Joe: ::getting up:: I suggest you run Khoi… this is my match… and he’s… my enemy.

 

Khoi: Oh puhleeze… I can’t leave a sexy guy behind! OooOOOooh!

 

Joe: Then what?

 

Khoi: umm… the Joe Ho combo?

 

Joe: Umm… we’re going to die…

 

Khoi: yup…

 

Suddenly… the glowing tattoos on Khoi’s right hand… and Joe’s left hand glow. Khoi’s red, Joe’s blue…

 

Joe: …?

 

Khoi: Umm… oooOOOooh?

 

Joe’s symbol changes into a pair of folded wings like Khoi’s except it’s blue.

 

Khoi: ::transforms back into Jason in heavenly berserker form, hair turns red, eyes turn red::

 

Jason: What?!

 

Joe: ::goes back into Trance form…eyes turn blue… but hair instead of being partly blue is totally blue now:: What the hell? What happened to my angelic flame spirit Trance?!

 

Neko-chan suddenly raises his head and stares in the direction of Khoi and Joe…

 

Neko-chan: …those guys… ::eyes get glazed:: Death for death of the soul… hero for deeds on earth… and heavenly for ascension to the skies… Hero berserker…

 

Beta Y: Huh? What the hell are you talking about?!

 

Back to Joe and Jason…

 

Seph: I DON’T CARE ABOUT WHAT’S GOING ON WITH YOU STUPID MORONS! BUT I’M STILL HERE! ::just feet away from them now::

 

Joe: ::forms a twin ryuusei:: HERO RYUUSEI! Heh? What did I just say?

 

Jason: ::forms a heavenly 8:: heavenly 8!

 

Khoi: oooOOOooh? The Joe ho combo?

 

Joe and Jason hit the black flame phoenix with both attacks at the same time… the glowing tattoos of the wings are glowing.

 

Seph: You bastards! ::the tattoo of the black wings on his back are glowing black::

 

Joe: ::struggling:: I still don’t think it’s enough…

 

Jason: ::also struggling:: I know!

 

Khoi: ::making struggling noises::

 

A shadow fang from above hits the black flame phoenix on the back…

 

Joe: uhh…

 

Jason: uhh….

 

Khoi: …TUBBY TO THE RESCUE!… I’m pretty sure he was just looking for food though…

 

Cuong: SHADOW SNIPE!

 

Seph: Dammit… being attacked by two many sides! ::disperses the black flame phoenix and uses his wings to knock Cuong, Joe, and Khoi away:: You bastards… ::points finger to the sky:: REIGN OF RYUUSEI!

 

Neko-chan arrives…

 

Neko-chan: GAY GUY! ::transforms into the neko-cannon::

 

Jason: DON’T CALL ME THAT! ::picks up the neko-cannon, fires a huge blast that knocks out most of the ryuuseis coming from the sky::

 

Neko-chan: …now… second form…

 

Neko-chan transforms into a double sided sword that’s blades are glowing red… Like Zidane!

 

Jason: Neko-sword… ::jumps high up into the air at the rest of the ryuuseis and cuts them all up::

 

Neko-chan: Now… third form…

 

Neko-chan transforms back into a cat and jumps onto Jason’s shoulder in mid-air… neko-chan begins to glow…

 

Seph: What the…?

 

The glowing Neko-chan spreads out larger…

 

Joe: …

 

Cuong: …

 

The glow disperses… Neko-chan has turned into a pair of red wings on Jason’s back…

 

Jason: What?…

 

Neko-chan: THE THIRD FORM! NEKO-WING!

 

Jason: DON’T TALK WHEN YOU’RE ON MY BACK! IT FREAKS ME OUT!

 

Neko-chan: SHUT THE FUCK UP BITCH! I’LL KILL YOU! MOTHERFUCKER!

 

Khoi: Geez, why can’t he be like withe…

 

Jason: Why can’t YOU be like Daisuke? You gay faggot…

 

Khoi: At least Dark doesn’t hit on every girl he sees! You perverted slut! OooOOOooh!

 

The wings, the left hand of Jason, the right hand of Jason, and the legs all start to fight each other…

 

Cuong: OH geez… nothing good can come of this…

 

Joe: ::nods::

 

Seph: …He has… wings too…

 

Charles is unconscious on the riverside… with his cut bandaged up.

 

Charles: ::talking in his sleep:: dammit Joe………… give me wings…

 

Aya: ::standing over Charles, carrying Chris:: Hmm… ::smiles:: It seems I like him for a reason.

 

To be continued.

T.R.A.N.C.E.

 

19th Installment: Re-revenge again

 

Joe is walking with Aya alongside a river…

 

Joe: So… this year… it’s three matches for each team and you have to win two…

 

Aya: yes.

 

Joe: I see, I see… So, that person you mentioned in the club the other day… who is it?

 

Aya: Who?

 

Joe: The person you like…

 

Aya: Oh… ::whispers something to Joe::

 

Joe: …WHAAAA??? HIM?! BUT BUT BUT! He’s… HIM!

 

Aya: Hmph, I shouldn’t have told you then…

 

Joe: …true dat… word dog diggity… diggity dog… umm… doggity dig?

 

Aya: ::nuttaps Joe:: SHUT UP! YOU UGLY BASTARD!

 

Joe: Okay…… ::on floor::

 

Aya: Anyways… who’s the person you like?

 

Joe: hmph… I’m not telling you…

 

Aya: Miharu?… why?

 

Joe: HOW’D YOU KNOW?!

 

Aya: Well, you do always visit her… you do know she doesn’t even know who you are… not to mention that she’s a master of THAT fighting technique and is a priestess…

 

Joe: umm… indeed…

 

Aya: geez… all the guys like Miharu… I wonder why…

 

At a temple on a hill…

 

Miharu: ::sitting in front of a shrine wearing the traditional Japanese red pants, white top thingy:: … I sense… people talking of me…

 

Back to Joe and Aya.

 

Joe: Anyways… when are you going to tell that fag?

 

Aya: In due time… by the way… aren’t you guys going to be facing the team that kills people tomorrow?

 

Joe: Yeah… we’re facing the vengeance team…

 

Aya: well… take these words to heart… If you only fight with power… you will lose… We taught you our arts and disciplines… yet you’ve been using only your powers recently…

 

Joe: …

 

Aya: Your greatest chance will be if you use the techniques we taught you…

 

Joe: I’ll keep that in mind.

 

Aya: Your friend’s team has already qualified to go to the finals… because they won 2 matches… the next match they have is only to get rid of excess fat in the finals. So… I assume you realize that…

 

Joe: Yeah… ::smelling a flower:: This smells like crap…

 

Aya: …that IS crap…

 

Joe: …Crap…

 

Meanwhile… chris is waiting for Joe outside the dojo.

 

Chris: I thought we were going to go scout the vengeance team…

 

Charles: I can go! I’LL BE A GOOD BOY! I PROMISE!

 

Chris: …huh?

 

Charles: I mean… let’s go…

 

Chris: Okay… I think I heard they’re having a match at the alley inbetween that restaurant and the video arcade.

 

Charles: So… we scout… we eat… then we play… GUNDAM BATTLE ASSAUL… HEY! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!

 

Joe comes back… but Charles and Chris have already left… Joe goes into the dojo area…

 

Joe: ::thinking:: I can’t win this with just the ryuusei… or trance…… heh… it’s been a while though… since I’ve fought with my techniques… maybe the 7th installment of N.O.D.A.T.S.S.T.U.P.I.D…… Ever since I learned the ryuusei, I’ve been relying on that… But Aya’s right… this fight won’t be decided by the ryuusei…

 

Jon: What you thinkin’ bout chap?

 

Joe: ::cringes:: Okay, first of all… DON’T SNEAK UP ON ME! Second of all… let’s go to the arcades.

 

Jon: umm… on a date?

 

Joe: NO! We’re going to play fighting games…

 

Jon: …okay?

 

Joe: Let’s see… KoF… Street Fighter… Fatal Fury… Okay, let’s go…

 

Jon: Umm… any reason for this?

 

Joe: Training.

 

Jon: oh… okay! BUY ME SOME GELATOS!

 

Joe: …can you get them around here?

 

Jon: …probably… ::shifts eyes:: MUAHAHAHAHAHA! YESSSSSS!

 

Joe: What are you yelling about?

 

Jon: …umm… porridge?

 

Joe: …okay…

 

Chris and Charles are sitting on top of the building overlooking the alley, eating candy canes… yes… candy canes…

 

Charles: Why are we eating candy canes?

 

CAUSE THEY’RE CHRIS’ FAVORITE FOOD!

 

Chris: no they aren’t… and it’s almost summertime…

 

Charles: ::nods::

 

…Anyways… the Vengeance team arrives… and a scared looking other team arrives…

 

Seph: So you guys are the team we’re facing?

 

Toriyama: Yeah! We are a team that created a unique fighting style that mimics the movement of animals!

 

Seph: …it’s been done before…

 

Beta Y: You guys are weak… ::takes out a couple fans::

 

Necro: …

 

Benitora: Don’t underestimate us! We know you’ve been killing teams! But… your reign of terror stops here!

 

Seph: Psh… whatever… we’ve already won two matches… we qualify… this match is just for fun…

 

Toriyama: if we kill you… it won’t be fun…

 

Itsuki: Yeah… we’ll kill you before the tournament finals… there are no rules against that.

 

Chris: ::Looking on:: I get it…

 

Charles: Huh?

 

Chris: I was thinking that with the amount of people present that first day… that the finals would be huge because it was obvious that not enough teams would get eliminated… but… it seems that the reason for the simple 3 matches for each team is that… the people behind the tournament expect that a lot will die.

 

Charles: …so… they compensate for the deaths.

 

Chris: It seems that the vengeance team isn’t the only team that’s been killing… but we’ve only been hearing about them for a reason… I wonder why…

 

Seph: Are you two just going to look at us all day from your little perch my chickadees?

 

Charles: what are chickadees? Are they good?

 

Chris: …I don’t know…

 

Seph: …hmph… anyways… I’ll answer your question for you… we’re the only ones killing our opponents in the matches… the other assassinations happen after all the 3 on 3 matches are over…

 

Charles: huh?

 

Seph: The teams try to assassinate one another before the finals start… that’s the second test to this tournament…

 

Charles: umm… okay… I don’t get it.

 

Toriyama: Enough talk… FLYING CRANE KICK! ::jumps into a crane position and flies at Seph::

 

Seph: …how stupid… ::swings his arm surrounded with black flame across his body and knocks Toriyama away::

 

Benitora goes to Seph’s side.

 

Benitora: POUNCING CAT CLAWS! ::jumps up at Seph with his arms crossed and his hands facing away from his body in claw formation::

 

Beta Y: This is a pointless match… ::takes out fans:: ::blows Benitora through a brick wall with her fans::

 

Chris: …

 

Charles: …ow…

 

Itsuki: Rushing Ram gores hyena! ::does a flying headbutt towards Seph::

 

Seph: What kind of Jackie chan adventures shit is this? Barbeque roasts rushing ram for dinner! ::creates a wall of black flame which engulfs Itsuki… he comes out of it on fire::

 

Itsuki: AHHHHH! ::tries to roll on the ground to put it out…::

 

Seph: Useless… the black flame cannot be taken out like that… HA!

 

Itsuki burns to death…

 

Chris: eeeh…

 

Charles: eeeeh…

 

Necro: heh, it’s the guy I gave two chaos seals and… I have no idea who that other guy is…

 

Charles: huh?… Who are you?…

 

Necro: ::Falls on the floor in exasperation:: YOU FOOL! REMEMBER IN THE EARLY INSTALLMENTS OF N.O.D.A.T.S.S.T.U.P.I.D.!

 

Charles: ::looks even more confused::

 

Necro: …DON’T YOU REMEMBER THIS?!

 

Flashback…

 

Necro: hahaha… not even your flame can penetrate this armor… you’ll never win.

 

Joe: Tell me… how heavy is that armor?

 

Necro: Pretty heavy… why?

 

Joe: ::points down to the ground::

 

Necro: ::Looks down:: Oh shit…

 

The ceiling is bending under the weight of the armor.

 

Necro: Damn… not good…

 

Necro falls through the roof and the weight of his armor drags him to the ground hard, breaking a lot of his bones.

 

Joe: Idiot… man… that sux…

 

Another flashback…

 

Joule: ::standing on top of the gym, looks sad about something:: Must I do this? Is it my destiny? ::looks up at the sky::

 

Necro: ::arrives in a full body cast:: There you are… give me another chance to get those brats Phoenix…

 

Joule: Sorry… but HQ has given me some orders… Necro… Chaos… Chaos Necromancer… We are all part of the three name band… you, me, and SSE… but… I’ve always been the leader… and as the leader… I must deal out appropriate punishments… After all, I am Joule… Char… and Phoenix… ::his hand suddenly bursts into flame::

 

Necro: ::wide eyes:: Did you put THAT on me?! Wait! Phoenix! Don’t detonate it!! Give me another chance!

 

Joule: what? You disobeyed orders, you jeopardized the situation… Shit like you… ::glances at Necro:: Doesn’t deserve to live…

 

Necro: No! Don’t!

 

Necro explodes in a huge red flame.

 

Joule: Worthless…

 

Back to present…

 

Charles: ::charles style:: …oh yeaaah! How DID you survive that?

 

Necro: heh, Joule put his mark of the rebirth flame on me… I am the only one that survived that technique…thanks to those big ass bandages… I was burned… barely living for months… then I heard a voice… that they still needed me… and then I came to this tournament… to kill Joule.

 

Charles: uhh… but aren’t you guys on the same team?

 

Necro: …no… I will merely wait for the time when he lets his guard down, then he will die… he knows this well.

 

Charles: I see… I don’t get it…

 

Necro: ::falls down in exasperation again:: DARN YOU GUYS!

 

Beta Y: Hmph… this is pointless…

 

Necro: AND YOU! ::points to Beta Y:: WHY DO YOU WEAR THAT MASK ALL THE TIME AND WHY DOES YOUR VOICE SOUND SO FAMILIAR?!

 

Beta Y: Hmph, you’re just imagining things…

 

Necro: ARGH! Damn Joule… what has been going on since I’ve been gone… I haven’t seen SSE anywhere…

 

Seph: Well then… this match is over… ::points to Charles and Chris:: I’ll see you next time… heh… seems THEY really want you dead.

 

Chris: Huh?

 

Seph: The vengeance team… this was our third match… yet we’re having a fourth… against you. Seems like that Sousuke guy wants you guys dead… you guys must have pissed him off badly during that introduction ceremony. Hahaha. Sigh… Oh well, works out well for me… oh yeah… one more thing… ::snaps fingers… the bodies of the opposing team explode in black flame:: I’ll see you guys later…

 

Charles: uhh…… they went boom…

 

Chris: Uhh… yeah…

 

Charles: …okay…

 

Meanwhile, at the arcade…

 

Jon: TAKE THIS! I TRAINED WITH THE HOBOS WHO LIVE IN THE ARCADES! YOU CAN’T DEFEAT ME! GLORIA!

 

Joe: …ouch…

 

Jon: ORA ORA!

 

Joe: ouch again…

 

Jon: MEOW!

 

Joe: OWWWW!

 

Jon takes out a cape and puts it on… He poses…

 

Jon: YOSHA! MY FIFTIETH WIN! TAKE THAT YOU HOMO!

 

Joe: What?!

 

Jon: I mean… hobo… ::shifts eyes::

 

Joe: …okay…

 

Jon: Sigh… so why are we playing KoF so much? And fighting games?

 

Joe: Well… you see… before I created the ryuusei… I was using random fighting styles and stuff I saw on tv and in games… like the shoryuken… so… Aya hinted that I need to go back to that style to win… so here we are!

 

Jon: …dance dance revolution?

 

Joe: OKAY!

 

Joe and Jon start doing dance dance revolution and hitting everything dead on. While doing crazy dance moves…

 

Jap guy #1: …crazy arcade hobos…

 

Meanwhile… back at the dojo…

 

Chris: That was scary…

 

Charles: ::nods::

 

Chris: I’m pretty sure we can take that wind using person…

 

Charles: yeah… but we haven’t seen what that Necro guy can do… and that Joe clone is scary…

 

Off in the distance…

 

Seph: I’M THE REAL ONE!

 

Back in the dojo…

 

Charles: Yeah…

 

Chris: …hmm… I say we let Joe fight him and die… then we run away…

 

Charles: SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN!

 

Khoi: oooOOoooh! DON’T WORRY! ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS TAKE ME ALONG! And if it gets out of hand… I’ll… ::shifts eyes:: …cry…

 

Later… Joe and Jon are playing the newest games on a Japanese ps2 that they just had lying around…

 

Joe: ::playing as Yuri Sakazaki::

 

Jon: ::playing as Iori Yagami::

 

Joe: YOU CAN’T WIN! I’M PRETTIER!

 

Jon: UH UH! I’M PRETTIER!

 

All they are doing are doing the taunting moves on screen without using any of the attacks… Meanwhile…

 

Cuong: ::walking on a really really really big staircase:: I wonder where this leads to… ::gasps for air:: I can’t… do it… too… hard… ::he sits and breathes in some more air… wheezing::

 

Miharu: ::walking down the stairs from the temple place thing:: hello?

 

Cuong: Huh? ::sweating profusely::

 

Miharu: Can you move out of the way please… you’re… blocking the way…

 

Cuong: oh… sorry… ::tries to get up… almost there… almost there… gives up halfway and falls again:: Can you… wait for a sec…?

 

Miharu: … ::smiles:: I guess I shall have to…

 

Cuong: ::looks up:: eh?! Whaaaa…? ::hearts in eyes::

 

Back with Chris and Charles… and Khoi.

 

Chris: There must be something we can do…. Some strategy…

 

Charles: hmm…

 

Khoi: you can… cry?

 

Charles: STOP SAYING THAT!

 

Jason: In the past… when I would be facing an opponent that’s much stronger than myself… Then I would use archers to attack from advantageous positions… then they would have to rush forward… leaving room for a pincer movement from their rear.

 

Khoi: SHUT UP JASON! STOP BRAGGING AND HELP!

 

Jason: …idiot… a sword can only defeat one man at a time… but tactics can defeat one thousand…

 

Khoi: stoOpid… what if it’s a really really big sword that can kill 5 people at a time? Hee hee… I beat JASON in tacticatal knowledgeable!!

 

Jason: …moron…

 

Charles: Well… we can dash at him! USE LIGHT PUNCHES THEN USE OUR BURNING FINGER UPPERUT!

 

Chris: …huh?

 

Charles: Or we can just keep on doing buster rifles… or knock him on the ground with our downward kick then use Gundam Hammer right after…

 

Chris: …uhh…

 

Khoi: oooOOOoooh! THAT SHOULD WORK!

 

Jason: …fags…

 

Aya: ::arriving:: You guys are idiots… really… really… big idiots… tactics usually depend on location, your opponent’s skills, your skills, and likewise… every factor has to be taken into account… Now where is this match supposed to be held?

 

Charles: Some sort of abandoned parking building… I think…

 

Aya: Will it be night?

 

Charles: Yeah…

 

Aya: Okay then… a parking building has several different levels or floors. It also should have things like pillars and stuff where you can hide behind. That means, it’s a very large area in which to move… So, when you see your opponents, don’t automatically rush them… split into different positions… ::draws out a map of the parking building on a piece of paper::

 

Khoi: oooOOoooh? ::draws a squirrel on a piece of paper::

 

Aya: Two of you stay on this level where the two teams meet… One to the left behind this pillar and the other to the right behind this pillar. And you have to move fast in the dark to get these positions. The third person will draw their strongest person from this level into an upper area.

 

Charles: huh? But wouldn’t that person die? Going one on one with their strongest.

 

Aya: No… he is to not fight with their strongest… He is only supposed to keep him occupied while the other two in the lower level split the two others from the team and beat them using surprise and guerilla tactics in the dark…

 

Charles: Like NINJAS!

 

Aya: …umm… yeah, whatever… Now then, there’s a wind user on their team, correct?

 

Chris: ::nods::

 

Aya: Then smiley here will have to fight her…

 

Charles: Waaahhh? Why?

 

Aya: Because long range light attacks can’t be blocked by wind… Not HER weak wind anyways… Light is not affected by wind… if that wind user doesn’t understand how to… I’m guessing she doesn’t, so you have a better chance against her than speedy Gonzalez who’ll have to get close to attack and then get blown away by wind.

 

Charles: …okay…

 

Aya: Also, we don’t know what their third guy’s powers are for sure… so a fast attack in the dark from behind is the best option… and the person with enough speed to do it is speedy.

 

Charles: Then… the third guy?

 

Aya: Then after you defeat the two… go up into the upper level and face their strongest 3 on 1, which will give you the advantage.

 

Khoi: uhh… I don’t get it… ::doing the same exact thing in Final Fantasy Tactics as she was saying it::

 

Charles: Well, we haven’t seen Joe all day… hopefully he’ll come so we can tell him the plan…

 

With Joe and Jon…

 

Joe: I don’t think I’ll go to the dojo tonight… Let’s just play games…

 

Jon: YAY! So… get a strategy for the match from these games?

 

Joe: yeah… rush head forward into all three and destroy them all!

 

Jon: ALRIGHT! ::punches in the air:: GLORIA!

 

Joe: …who’s Gloria?

 

Jon: umm… ::shrugs:: some… old… lady? Anyways… it’s time for…

 

Joe and Jon: MORE DDR!

 

The day of the match… They’re eating breakfast at Mcdonalds…

 

Cuong: ::still with hearts in his eyes:: Who was that… girl…

 

Khoi: Geez… stop looking at my mcmuffin with your lustful eyes you perv!

 

Charles: Yeah… I think…

 

Chris: Where’s Joe?

 

Khoi: Where’s Jon? Maybe they eloped… ::makes struggling noises:: WITHOUT ME?!

 

Charles: hahahahaha! Sigh… it’s funny cause they’re married…

 

Khoi: ::nuttaps Charles:: I’M THE STUPID ONE AROUND HERE!… hee hee… it’s funny cause they’re married…

 

Chris: anyways… hopefully Joe will make it…

 

Khoi: And if he doesn’t… I’ll…………………… cry…

 

Charles: Stop saying that…

 

Khoi: or… I’ll… cry…

 

Charles: SHUT UP!

 

Khoi: or… I’ll… cry…

 

Charles: WHY WON’T YOU SHUT UP?!

 

Khoi: because… I’m… crying…

 

Chris: Anyways… what happened to Cuong?

 

Mika enters the mcdonald’s…

 

Mika: Have you seen my sister?

 

Khoi: …AHH! WHERE’S NEKO-CHAN?! Ayyah!

 

Mika: Yeah, “aya,” where is she?

 

Khoi: not “aya!” You noob! It’s AYYAH!

 

Charles: Anyways… yeah… we’re missing a lotta people…

 

Neko-chan is on top of a wall, staring at the parking building that the match is going to take place in.

 

Neko-chan: Death berserker… hmm… huh? ::notices someone in the parking building waiting::

 

Aya: ::in the parking building:: ::tapping foot::

 

Neko-chan: ::thinking:: It seems that I’m not the only one who is curious about that death berserker…

 

Meanwhile, Cuong is wandering about the city with Mika’s grandma…

 

Cuong: …Do I have to carry all these groceries?

 

Mika’s grandmother: Yes. You stole our mystical beans… and trashed my house with your party.

 

Cuong: Sigh… How’d I get from meeting the girl of my dreams to hanging out with an old lady?

 

Mika’s grandmother: …I heard that…

 

Later, it’s the time of the match… Chris, Charles, and Khoi are there… it’s late at night… They’re eating popcorn.

 

Chris: By the way, where’d you get this popcorn Khoi?

 

Khoi: Oh… ::mouth full of the stuff:: I… found it… at… ::shifts eyes:: oooOOOoooh!

 

Chris: …

 

Charles: …

 

Chris and Charles begin to spit it out.

 

Seph: Heh… what are you guys doing?

 

Beta Y: …

 

Necro: Geez…

 

Charles: Umm… this isn’t what it looks like…

 

Seph: ::Notices Khoi:: Huh? What are you doing here?

 

Khoi: Umm… looking for hot girls? OooOOOooh! Who said that?

 

Seph: …whatever… I’ll kill you later…

 

Khoi: NOT IF I DIE FIRST! ::jumps out of the parking complex, they were on the third floor:: I CAN FLY! HEE HEE! I’M PUTTING MYSELF IN DANGER!

 

Chris: …

 

Charles: …

 

Beta Y: Gosh, idiot…

 

Necro: …

 

Seph: …anyways… it seems that you guys are missing a member…

 

Chris: Uhh… no we’re not…

 

Seph: uhh… yes you are…

 

Chris: No, we’re not…

 

Seph: Yes you are!

 

Chris: Okay okay… we are…

 

Seph: I guess that fake chickened out…

 

Charles: HE DIDN’T CHICKEN OUT! I’M SURE THAT THERE’S A REALLY GOOD REASON FOR HIM BEING GONE!

 

At the arcades… the music is still going… and Jon and Joe are still playing DDR.

 

Joe: ::getting tired::

 

Jon: ::full of energy:: BUM BUM BADAH! BUM BUM BUM! Lalalalala!

 

Joe: What time is it?

 

Jon: It’s time for you to get owned by my crazy dancing skills! YESSSSSS! YESSSSS! I’M SO OBNOXIOUSLY GOOD AT DANCING!

 

Joe: ::knocks Jon off the dance pad…::

 

Jon: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

 

Joe: ::checks a nearby clock:: uh oh…

 

Jon: …uh oh…

 

Joe: Yeah, we’re LATE!

 

Jon: no, not that… umm… ::points out the window::

 

Mashimaro is riding a motorcycle and driving on the streets wildly.

 

Mashimaro: YEAAAAAH! WHOOOO! PARTY!

 

Jon: Hee hee… silly Mashimaro…

 

Joe: OH CRAP! GET OFF THAT THING!

 

Back with Charles and Chris…

 

Charles: yup, a really really good reason!

 

Beta Y: hmph, whatever… the fact is… you are the only guys here… and the match time is about to begin. So I guess… ::looks serious:: It’s 3 on 2… ::takes out fans… and slowly moves one across her face::

 

Charles: Umm… did I fight her before? Cause this seems unfamiliar…

 

Neko-chan is watching from the top of a building…

 

Neko-chan: When Meta X and Beta Y first appeared… they greatly outdid that guy in power… hmm… with all the improvements he made… He might be at her strength now. However… I wonder if he was able to finally make his style complete. Random to Janken… to some big ass robot… fucking almost killed me… but now what is it?

 

Aya is likewise watching from the top of a building…

 

Aya: …Her aura… is odd… as if it’s fake strength… I fought that light guy… he had some pretty weird armor technique… and that natural energy guy… he had made improvements… However… ::looks at Necro with serious eyes:: His aura… greatly… greatly… outdoes them both… and… ::looks at Seph:: He’s… the most dangerous of all.

 

Back to the match floor…

 

Chris: …

 

Charles: Hmm…

 

Khoi: Well then, I guess I have to substitute as the third member! OooOOOooh!

 

Chris: No.

 

Khoi: Yup yup… I will… whaaaa??? ::gets into a gay pose::

 

Chris: This is our fight… even if it’s just us two… we have to do this alone.

 

Khoi: Umm… who said that?

 

Charles: Umm… I think he’s right… You… go over there. We’re stronger now, so we don’t need you.

 

Beta Y: ::notices Khoi for the first time:: You… ::about to swing fan at him:: I’LL KILL YOU!

 

Khoi: oooOOOooh?!

 

Seph: ::grabs Beta Y’s hand:: Now now, that’s not the time for that…

 

Beta Y: but he… he… he killed Meta X! ::calming down:: Fine, I’ll save my revenge for later…

 

Khoi: Meta who? Who said that?! OooOOOooh!

 

(Joe note: He seriously forgot who Meta X was…)

 

Chris: Anyways, Khoi… leave…

 

Khoi: Umm… okay… ::walks down to the lower levels of the parking complex and leaves::

 

Khoi walks reaches the base level and Neko-chan’s in front of him.

 

Khoi: SO THERE YOU WERE! WHERE WERE YOU YOUNG LADY?! OooOOOooh!

 

Neko-chan: We’ll need to move to a higher place…

 

Khoi: huh? Why?

 

Neko-chan: …do you really think this match will end in the parking complex?

 

Back to the match level…

 

Charles: So… ::sweatdrop:: I guess we… abandon Aya’s plan and just go for it?

 

Chris: ::nods::

 

Charles: okay then… GUNDAM FIGHT! READY! GO!

 

Seph: …

 

Beta Y: …

 

Necro: …idiot…

 

Charles: umm… zoid battle? Vengeance team vs. Speedy ninja boba team! READY! FIGHT!

 

Seph: …

 

Beta Y: …

 

Necro: …faggot…

 

Chris: 1, 2, 3, GO!

 

All five dash at each other… meanwhile…

 

Joe: ::driving the motorcycle with Jon on the back, and Mashimaro locked in Jon’s backpack::

 

Mashimaro: HEY! THIS AIN’T COOL YA! LET ME OUT! IT’S PARTY!!! YOU GOTTA FIGHT! FOR YOUR RIGHT! TO PARRRRTTTTTYYYY!

 

Joe: SHUT UP!

 

Jon: Umm, Joe… Can you even drive a motorcycle?

 

Joe: psh… I can drive anything with wheels…

 

Jon: Then uhh… can you go forward instead of reverse?

 

The motorcycle is going backwards as people on the street jump out of the way…

 

Joe: But we’re making good time!

 

Jon: …I’m scared… I never even saw a motorcycle go backwards like this… can they even go backwards like this?!

 

Joe: ::shrugs:: I’M JOE! I’M JOE! I’M JOE! I’M JOE! I’M JOE! I’M JOE! I’M JOE! I’M JOE! I’M JOE! I’M JOE! I’M JOE! I’M JOE!

 

Jon: WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?!

 

Joe: Uhh… I commend you?

 

Jon: ON what?!

 

Joe: …on being… pimply?

 

Jon: …well I have been eating extra pizzas… wait… NO!

 

Meanwhile… Chris dodges Beta Y’s wind blades… Chris runs at her from the side… A weird looking sword connected by a string swings in front of him… making him jump back…

 

Chris: What?…

 

Necro: Heh… my armor technique was too heavy… so I created this… ::has two strange looking swords connected by a wire:: Chaos Blades! ::points one of the swords at Chris:: ATTACK!

 

Several skeletons burst from the stone floor.

 

Chris: Tch…

 

A huge mass of light blasts come and shatter them… Charles has the blue and white armor on his legs again.

 

Charles: NOT EVEN!

 

Charles’ back explodes in black flame.

 

Charles: WHAT?! ::blown forward::

 

Seph: Look behind you! FOOL! ::black flame circling his hand::

 

Charles: ::thinking:: Shit… what’s with this flame! It’s not going out! UNLESS! ::unleashes light energy from his back to make the flames go out::

 

Seph: Oh! You can take it out!

 

Charles: Don’t fuck with me! ::blue and white armor on leg glows brightly… Charles runs at Seph and does a sliding kick… ripping a large crack in the stone floor as he slides toward Seph… with the light energy surrounding his leg::

 

Seph: HEH! ::punches the ground out with his black flame… Charles and Seph get sucked into the lower floor::

 

Chris: SMILIE! I MEAN! CHARLES!

 

Necro: DON’T LOOK AWAY! ::running at Chris… slices down… chris dodges to the side… Necro slashes across with his other sword… Chris jumps back… but a cut appears on his sweater::

 

Chris: Tch!

 

Beta Y: TAKE THIS! ::shoots a large amount of wind blades at Chris::

 

Chris: DAMMIT! ::punches out the floor to get sucked down to the lower level and escapes the wind blades::

 

Necro jumps through the hole Chris created to chase after him…

 

Necro: NOT GOOD ENOUGH!

 

Beta Y creates another hole in the ground by slashing it up with wind and goes down to the lower level.

 

Beta Y: What?!

 

A large amount of light blasts are coming her way…

 

Beta Y: ::gets hit by them and rolls on the floor for a while::

 

Charles: THIS IS THE END! ::kicks more light blasts at her with his light armor on his legs::

 

Beta Y: ::rolls out the way of some of them, hops to her feet… and jumps back twice to dodge the rest, which damage the ground:: ::puts both her fans together and makes a huge amount of wind blow at Charles::

 

Charles: Ugh! ::trying to stay his ground as he puts his hands in front of his face and leans forward against the wind::

 

Necro: ::points another sword at Chris:: RISE AND ATTACK!

 

More skeletons appear from the stone ground…

 

Chris: ::runs through all the skeletons who all try to hit Chris as he runs by but they miss:: ::runs at Necro::

 

Necro throws one of the swords at Chris… Chris dodges to the side and keeps running… Necro throws his other sword at Chris… Chris dodges to the side again… Before the wire gets out of reach, Necro grabs it and starts spinning it around… making the swords come back and twirl around him. Chris jumps back to avoid it… Necro grabs the hilts of the swords again.

 

Necro: caught you!

 

Skeleton arms burst from the ground and grab Chris’ legs.

 

Chris: What?!

 

Necro: ::running at Chris with his two swords:: DIE!

 

Chris catches Necro’s hands as he tries to swing them down… stopping him from attacking with the swords.

 

Necro: what?…

 

Chris: Heh… caught you! ::jumps up, ripping off the skeleton arms as he does so… and leverages himself using Necro’s arms… He then kicks off on Necro, using both legs… Necro gets kicked far away, Chris flips to his feet and runs towards Necro… Necro has used one of his knees to get midway up from the fall as more skeletons burst from the ground in front of Chris::

 

Chris: NOT ENOUGH! ::punches the ground out from below the skeletons, forcing them all to go down. Smoke and rubble rises from the ground::

 

Out of the smoke jumps out Seph. Seph flips a kick into Chris, Chris blocks the kick, but Seph is still near Chris and surrounds his hand with black flame. He spins in mid-air stabs down with his black flame…

 

Chris: Shit…! ::puts his hands up to guard::

 

Seph’s black flame disappears. Seph flips backwards to his feet.

 

Seph: YOU?!

 

Chris: ????

 

Joe: … ::his hand on blue flame, the black flame is mixing with the blue flame… the blue flame absorbs it and grows brighter:: ::looks serious::

 

Seph: Heh.

 

Charles is still kicking light blasts at Beta Y.

 

Beta Y: DAMN THAT WEIRD STYLE!

 

Charles gathers light energy to his leg… and knees Beta Y into a wall, which breaks and falls… Beta Y and Charles’ momentum carries them out of the office building… Beta Y uses her wind to break her fall… Charles uses his light energy to do so too… with a big splash… They have landed in a river. Yet they are standing on the water…

 

Charles: You can do it too?!

 

Beta Y: DON’T LOOK SO SURPRISED! IF I CAN’T USE MY ENERGY TO KEEP MYSELF AFLOAT! THEN I’M A… ::throws more wind blades at Charles:: WEAKLING!

 

The wind blades cut across the water, Charles jumps high into the air to dodge them… He kicks light blasts at Beta Y. The water around her explodes up blocking her from view… The water dies down, she has her arms crossed across her chest with fans out fully extended… as water slowly drips back down from the air.

 

Beta Y: Come on…

 

Joe is using his blue flame in his hands to attack Seph. Seph is using his black flame to dodge.

 

Seph: Persistent fake…

 

Joe: Shut up! ::grabs Seph’s arm and throws him over his back onto the floor behind him:: ::punches straight down at Seph’s body… Seph flips back up and dodges it. Seph kicks at Joe’s head. Joe blocks with his hand and pushes it away, Joe stands himself up with his left hand and swings both feet with blue flame to kick at Seph sideways.::

 

Seph gets knocked a little away. Joe stands and kicks twice at him, alternating each foot, both bursting blue flame at intervals. Seph dodges, spins and attacks with a hand of black flame. Joe spins to dodge and spins some more, jumps into the air and delivers a kick propelled by blue flame at Seph.

 

Chris is running around all the skeleton minions that Necro has summoned. Knocking them down as he goes… Necro runs at Chris, swinging his two swords. Chris continues to dodge, grabs a nearby skeleton minion and throws it into Necro… Necro gets pushed back… Chris begins to deliver an assortment of kicks to Necro. Chris ends it with a downward kick to the ground… making them go down to the base level, Chris kicks at Necro… Necro retaliates by slashing back… Chris flips over the slashes… starts to run to gain distance from Necro’s weapons… Necro chases… They end up in a nearby construction site… Chris slides to a halt, lifts up a metal beam and swings it hard at Necro from the side.

 

Necro: Hmph… ::the metal beam has been sliced in two as Necro holds one of his swords to his side::

 

Chris: Ugh…

 

Necro: Let’s slow this dance down… shall we… ::points sword at Chris, more skeleton minions rise from the ground:: I AM… ::stares intently and furiously:: THE CHAOS NECROMANCER!

 

Charles is chasing Beta Y… on the river. She is literally floating a little and hovering backwards to dodge Charles’ attacks. Charles is literally in the sky following… going down to the ground every now and again to jump back up.

 

Beta Y: Damn him… that armor… allows him to float in the air… ::throws a large wind blade at Charles::

 

Charles: ! ::his ARM becomes surrounded by the blue and white armor… he punches through the wind blade… with light energy erupting from his fist…::

 

Beta Y: ! The armor! Is on his arm now?!

 

Charles: ::rushing downward at Beta Y:: DIE! ::punches into the water near her she dodges, the light energy makes the water burst up high… A large light blast splits the floating water as it runs towards Beta Y::

 

Beta Y: IT’S MORE ACCURATE THAN BEFORE! ::Dodges to the side… her mask gets cracked a little by the furosity of the attack:: How?!

 

The water dies down… The armor on Charles’ arm has extended to form a bow of the same strange material which Charles is pointing to Beta Y.

 

Beta Y: …a bow… that shoots light energy… accurately…

 

Charles: This is the result of every style I’ve ever had… the ultimate light style! Byakuya! True light!

 

(Joe note: hahaha, name of a song)

 

Beta Y: Just like artemis huh…

 

(Joe note: referring to greek mythology… but I’m not sure if she got the figure right… she never went to school…)

 

Charles: Artemis?! I’m not friggin’ owl!

 

(Joe note: reference to Disney movie…)

 

Beta Y: …dumbass… but I can’t hold back anymore! ::puts one hand high up with one fan and one hand down low with another fan:: ……………………….come.

 

Back in the parking complex.

 

Joe: ::swings backhand of blue flame at Seph, Seph ducks down low… right into Joe’s kick… Seph literally gets kicked out of the opening in the parking complex wall::

 

Seph: ::in midair, he points to the sky… Several black ryuuseis rain down into the parking complex, making it finally collapse to the ground:: ::uses black flame to halt his fall, and he lands on the floor:: GOT HIM! HA!

 

Out of the rubble and smoke… bursts out Joe in Trance form with a twin ryuusei in his hand. Joe flips in the air… and does a downward strike at Seph with the twin ryuusei.

 

Seph: ::black flame propels him backwards to dodge the twin ryuusei which leaves a large gash in the floor:: WHY WON’T YOU DIE?!

 

Joe: NOT UNTIL YOU DO, WILL I DIE! ::fires a ryuusei into the ground with the hand that does not have the twin ryuusei on it, which travels along the ground towards Seph… it collides with his body and explodes::

 

The smoke clears… Seph has his black wings folded around his body… They unfold and reveal his body which is unharmed… He is now in Trance.

 

Seph: ::flying into the air:: You’re really pissing me off…

Joe: Indeed…

 

Seph: ::points at the sky:: REIGN OF RYUUSEI!

 

Tons of black ryuuseis rain down on Joe… Joe runs across the ground as they barely miss… hitting the position where he was in just a second before…

 

Joe: ::thinking:: DAMN! HAVE TO KEEP RUNNING!

 

Seph flies after Joe… continuously summoning the ryuuseis at him… Joe dodges one to the right as he runs, dodges one to the left as he runs… one lands right in front of him, he flips over it as it explodes… and it continues…

 

Charles is high in the air again… he kicks more light blasts at Beta Y, spins and fires off a more accurate light blast from his arm armor bow at her.

 

Beta Y: ::still hovering away from the blasts:: ::throws some wind blades into the water to make it rise up and absorb the light blast from the bow:: ::retaliates with a large tornado like attack at Charles… Charles lands on the ground right when it comes at him… He punches through it again… and fires off a light blast from his arm bow as he does it straight at Beta Y::

 

Beta Y spins rapidly with her arms extended to the sides… making the water around her rise and absorb the light blast.

 

Charles: ::thinking:: Shit, the water gives her the advantage…

 

At the construction site… Chris punches into the ground to take out all the skeleton minions… out of the smoke created by the attack… jumps out Necro… who throws one of his swords at chris… it spins around chris and ties the wire around him, binding him.

 

Chris: SHIT!

 

Necro flies down at Chris with a downward stab.

 

Necro: NOW YOU LOSE!

 

Joe rushes by quickly… breaking Necro’s sword with the twin ryuusei… Joe grabs the tip of the sword that broke off… and quickly throws it into the air at Seph.

 

Necro: What?!

 

Seph: UGH! ::the piece of sword cuts across his wing, but only does minimal damage…, but it distracts him long enough so that he stops firing the black ryuuseis::

 

Joe: CHRIS! DON’T DIE! ::runs vertically up one of the beams of the building they’re making… and jumps backwards up at Seph with the twin ryuusei:: I HAVE YOU!

 

Seph flies higher up into the air to dodge and points his finger at the sky again… Joe lands on the ground and automatically starts running in another direction… as the black ryuuseis begin to fall again.

 

Seph: YOU PERSISTENT BASTARD! ::chases after Joe::

 

Chris: ::breaks free of the wire…:: Don’t die…

 

Necro: ::Throws away the broken sword, puts his hand out:: Chaos blade! ::the dirt and bone from one of his skeletons rise from the ground and form another sword which he grabs:: HEHEHE! Come on!

 

Chris: I see, that’s what those swords are made of… if it’s useless to break them… then… I’ll break…

 

Necro: ::sweatdrop::

 

Chris: Your bones! ::takes off sweater:: ::violent wind begins to spin around him… his hair begins to fly up:: ::veins from his body begin to burst::

 

Necro: ::thinking:: That’s… adrenaline… lots of it… rushing through his veins! Impossible! Nobody can call upon adrenaline! If a normal human gets three times the strength from adrenaline… then this guy……………

 

Chris: ::muscles suddenly much larger:: Come on… Let’s finish this!

 

Aya, Neko-chan, Jon, and Khoi are all watching from the same rooftop now…

 

Neko-chan: Well, since we’re all watching…

 

Aya: Yes… we might as well… watch…

 

Jon: Where’s Mashimaro?

 

Khoi: Oh… he was getting annoying so I kicked him off the building… but… I’ve never seen fights like these…

 

Neko-chan: It seems that Charles has taken all that he has learned and has created the best style for himself from those… that Chris guy’s growth is fucking amazing… and Joe… he was…

 

Jon: yeah, he was using fighting moves for the most part… and his reflexes are a lot better now… thanks to… THE ULTIMATE JAPKID TRAINER!

 

Aya: Yeah… but… Joe will lose… Charles will lose… and Chris… Chris… might win… but… they’re still at a disadvantage… ::gets angry:: If only they went with my plan! THOSE BASTARDS!

 

Neko-chan: If only they consulted me… THOSE BASTARDS!

 

Khoi: If only they had sex with me… THOSE BASTARDS! I mean… who said that? ::looks around idiotically::

 

Jon: you guys can actually see their fights? But they’re all away from each other now… I can’t even see them…

 

Neko-chan: We can tell what’s going on… by the traces of their killing intent… and my Cat’s eye technique… ::pupils dilate::

 

Aya: My Fuugan can see the traces of the wind and the wind tells me what’s happening…

 

Khoi: …me… I don’t know how I can tell… but it’s like… I can see at least one of the fights…

 

Aya: ::stares at Khoi:: huh?

 

Khoi: I can see… Joe’s fight.

 

Chris stares off with Necro…

 

Chris: Let’s end this in the next attack…

 

Necro: Fine by me…

 

They rush at each other…

 

Charles is now in the water… barely floating… breathing hard…

 

Charles: hu… hu… hu…

 

Beta Y: ::still fine:: Heh, as I was taking my time… You were expending your energy all the time… you fool… now then… ::sticks up hand which has glowing green tattoo:: Supercharge…

 

Charles: Not yet! ONE MORE ATTACK! ::sticks up his arrow bow… the armor from his leg disappears… and adds to the light energy into the arrow bow:: NOT LONG RANGE! BUT! ::rushes at Beta Y:: POINTBLANK PUNCH OF LIGHT ENERGY SHOULD FINISH YOU!

 

Beta Y: he’s combining his long range and close range attack?! ::puts both her fans together::

 

Joe is still running from the black ryuusei attacks from the sky.

 

Joe: ::breathing heavily:: ::twin ryuusei has died down considerably:: I… ::breathes hard:: Won’t lose… ::stops running and turns to Seph who is still in the sky and is not looking tired at all::

 

Charles is running at Beta Y.

 

Charles: I WON’T LOSE!

 

Chris is running at Necro.

 

Chris: I won’t… ::eyes widen intensely:: LOSE!

 

Joe powers up the twin ryuusei again… Seph laughs…

 

Seph: Don’t be reckless now… You look tired… and I’m all the way up here…

 

Joe: ::quietly smiles to himself:: I led you to this spot for a reason…

 

Seph: :[pic]: Those times… ::remembers all the times when Joe attacked with the twin ryuusei but hit the ground instead, missing Seph::

 

Joe: I WAS missing… but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t doing something else!

 

Several ryuusei’s burst from the ground directly under Seph… They grab him and drag him down…

 

Seph: BASTARD! YOU PLANNED THIS!

 

Joe: My flame is not long range like yours… but… if there’s a earth element around… I can have it travel along that… AND NOW! IT’S THE END! ::runs at Seph with the twin ryuusei::

 

Aya, Neko-chan, and Khoi suddenly notice something.

 

Aya: Let’s go!

 

Neko-chan: Fuck…

 

Khoi: …JASON! ::transforms into Jason::

 

Jason: You sense it too…

 

Jon: Ara? What’s going on?

 

Jason, Aya, and Neko-chan dash off into different directions.

 

Jon: uhh…

 

At the river… Charles is floating in the river with a large gash across his chest.

 

Charles: ugh…

 

Beta Y: Hmph… you still are weak… ::takes out fans and fully extends them::

 

At the construction site… Chris is kneeling on the floor with a sword stabbed through his arm and another in his leg… He’s twitching one eye in pain…

 

Necro: ::his arm is broken… and his face has a large cut on it:: You sure did a number… but… Chaos Blade! ::creates another sword:: This is the end…

 

Where Joe and Seph are…

 

Seph: !?

 

Joe: … ::coughs::

 

Seph: …You… you have THAT injury…

 

Joe: …… ::kneeling on ground… grabbing heart… coughing up blood:: ::thinking:: Not now…

 

Seph: Heh… ::black flame bursts from his body… destroying the ryuuseis that hold him:: Not that it would make a difference… even if you didn’t have that injury… I would’ve still prevailed… but… ::eyes widen in anger:: NOBODY TOUCHES ME! ::remembers when Joe slashed his wing with Necro’s sword:: ::whole body gets engulfed in black flame and he flies up:: ::the black flame around his body forms a large phoenix of black flame:: ::he dives down at Joe in that form::

 

Joe: Shit…

 

Beta Y is on the floor… her fans are ripped apart

 

Beta Y: What…?!

 

Neko-chan: You’ve already won the match… don’t take it far…

 

Beta Y: ::thinking:: That cat… did this… what in the hell…

 

Necro’s sword has been broken again… Aya is holding it inbetween her middle and index finger…

 

Necro: Bitch… what do you think you’re doing?

 

Aya: Fight’s over…

 

Necro: I’ll kill you…

 

Aya: With that broken arm? You think you can?

 

Necro: … ::thinking:: Damn… she’s right…

 

Aya: If you think you can… FUUGAN! ::eyes turn green::

 

The black flame phoenix is heading straight for Joe.

 

Joe: …am… I… going to die? AGAIN?!

 

Jason in Berserker Form intercepts the black flame phoenix with a heavenly 8.

 

Jason: UGH! He’s still too strong like this! DAMMIT!

 

Seph: ::eyes glowing red in the black flame phoenix:: OUT OF MY WAY!

 

Joe: …you… what do you think you’re doing?

 

Jason: Shut up fag… this fight is over!

 

Joe: …fag? FAG?!

 

Jason: WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU FIGHT WITH AN INJURY?!

 

Joe: …

 

Jason’s hands are starting to get burned…

 

Jason: Tch…

 

Seph: YOU CAN’T STOP THIS ATTACK!

 

Jason’s attack rebounds off of the black flame phoenix… and he gets rebounded back… Joe catches him… They are both out of trance form though… While the black flame phoenix still exists…

 

Jason: Shit! That attack… is too strong… I’m turning back into…

 

Khoi: oooOOoooh? ::changes back into Khoi::

 

Seph dives down again…

 

Seph: HAHAHA! I’LL KILL BOTH OF YOU NOW!

 

Joe: ::getting up:: I suggest you run Khoi… this is my match… and he’s… my enemy.

 

Khoi: Oh puhleeze… I can’t leave a sexy guy behind! OooOOOooh!

 

Joe: Then what?

 

Khoi: umm… the Joe Ho combo?

 

Joe: Umm… we’re going to die…

 

Khoi: yup…

 

Suddenly… the glowing tattoos on Khoi’s right hand… and Joe’s left hand glow. Khoi’s red, Joe’s blue…

 

Joe: …?

 

Khoi: Umm… oooOOOooh?

 

Joe’s symbol changes into a pair of folded wings like Khoi’s except it’s blue.

 

Khoi: ::transforms back into Jason in heavenly berserker form, hair turns red, eyes turn red::

 

Jason: What?!

 

Joe: ::goes back into Trance form…eyes turn blue… but hair instead of being partly blue is totally blue now:: What the hell? What happened to my angelic flame spirit Trance?!

 

Neko-chan suddenly raises his head and stares in the direction of Khoi and Joe…

 

Neko-chan: …those guys… ::eyes get glazed:: Death for death of the soul… hero for deeds on earth… and heavenly for ascension to the skies… Hero berserker…

 

Beta Y: Huh? What the hell are you talking about?!

 

Back to Joe and Jason…

 

Seph: I DON’T CARE ABOUT WHAT’S GOING ON WITH YOU STUPID MORONS! BUT I’M STILL HERE! ::just feet away from them now::

 

Joe: ::forms a twin ryuusei:: HERO RYUUSEI! Heh? What did I just say?

 

Jason: ::forms a heavenly 8:: heavenly 8!

 

Khoi: oooOOOooh? The Joe ho combo?

 

Joe and Jason hit the black flame phoenix with both attacks at the same time… the glowing tattoos of the wings are glowing.

 

Seph: You bastards! ::the tattoo of the black wings on his back are glowing black::

 

Joe: ::struggling:: I still don’t think it’s enough…

 

Jason: ::also struggling:: I know!

 

Khoi: ::making struggling noises::

 

A shadow fang from above hits the black flame phoenix on the back…

 

Joe: uhh…

 

Jason: uhh….

 

Khoi: …TUBBY TO THE RESCUE!… I’m pretty sure he was just looking for food though…

 

Cuong: SHADOW SNIPE!

 

Seph: Dammit… being attacked by two many sides! ::disperses the black flame phoenix and uses his wings to knock Cuong, Joe, and Khoi away:: You bastards… ::points finger to the sky:: REIGN OF RYUUSEI!

 

Neko-chan arrives…

 

Neko-chan: GAY GUY! ::transforms into the neko-cannon::

 

Jason: DON’T CALL ME THAT! ::picks up the neko-cannon, fires a huge blast that knocks out most of the ryuuseis coming from the sky::

 

Neko-chan: …now… second form…

 

Neko-chan transforms into a double sided sword that’s blades are glowing red… Like Zidane!

 

Jason: Neko-sword… ::jumps high up into the air at the rest of the ryuuseis and cuts them all up::

 

Neko-chan: Now… third form…

 

Neko-chan transforms back into a cat and jumps onto Jason’s shoulder in mid-air… neko-chan begins to glow…

 

Seph: What the…?

 

The glowing Neko-chan spreads out larger…

 

Joe: …

 

Cuong: …

 

The glow disperses… Neko-chan has turned into a pair of red wings on Jason’s back…

 

Jason: What?…

 

Neko-chan: THE THIRD FORM! NEKO-WING!

 

Jason: DON’T TALK WHEN YOU’RE ON MY BACK! IT FREAKS ME OUT!

 

Neko-chan: SHUT THE FUCK UP BITCH! I’LL KILL YOU! MOTHERFUCKER!

 

Khoi: Geez, why can’t he be like withe…

 

Jason: Why can’t YOU be like Daisuke? You gay faggot…

 

Khoi: At least Dark doesn’t hit on every girl he sees! You perverted slut! OooOOOooh!

 

The wings, the left hand of Jason, the right hand of Jason, and the legs all start to fight each other…

 

Cuong: OH geez… nothing good can come of this…

 

Joe: ::nods::

 

Seph: …He has… wings too…

 

Charles is unconscious on the riverside… with his cut bandaged up.

 

Charles: ::talking in his sleep:: dammit Joe………… give me wings…

 

Aya: ::standing over Charles, carrying Chris:: Hmm… ::smiles:: It seems I like him for a reason.

 

To be continued.

T.R.A.N.C.E.

 

20th Installment: Triangle…

 

Charles: ::remembers a voice:: It seems I like him for a reason… ::the line repeats in his head over and over again:: It seems I like him for a reason… It seems I like him for a reason… It seems I like him for a reason… It seems I like him for a reason… It seems I like him for a reason… It seems I like him for a reason…

 

Charles sits up awake from being unconscious…

 

Charles: ::looking confused:: Heh?

 

Aya: Awake now? Loser… ::staring off into the distance with green eyes:: The fight’s starting to get interesting…

 

Charles: ::sweatdrop:: ::thinks:: That voice…

 

Where Jason, Joe, and Cuong are…

 

Jason: ::still fighting with his own body:: STOP YOU FAGGOTS!

 

Neko-chan: shut the fuck up your perverted fuck!

 

Khoi: oooOOOooh! DONG!

 

Jason’s left hand nuttaps himself… they go crashing into the ground…

 

Khoi: I’M PUTTING MYSELF IN DANGER!

 

Joe: ::blank stare::

 

Cuong: ::blank stare::

 

Seph: ::blank stare::

 

Jason: ::flying back up:: Yeah… umm… yeah…

 

Jon: YEEEEAAAH! OKAY! WHAT?!

 

Joe: ::jumps up in fright and turns around to Jon:: WHAT THE HECK?! JON?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

 

Jon: What?!

 

Joe: What are you doing?

 

Jon: WHAT?!

 

Joe: …what are you doing?

 

Jon: What?!

 

Joe: …WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

 

Jon: okay!

 

Joe: that doesn’t anser my question!

 

Jon: Ora ora!

 

Joe: What?!

 

Jon: YEEEAHHH!

 

Joe: huh?!

 

Jon: okay!

 

Cuong: …You’re Jon… not Lil’ jon…

 

Jon: …oh… right… ora ora!

 

Joe: umm… yeah… ::goes out of hero berserker form:: Heh?! ::drops on floor tired:: ::grabs heart area:: Ugh… still painful…

 

Jon: ::grabbing nut area:: Ugh… still painful… anyways! ::takes out some cards:: ::yells out some Japanese battle cry::

 

Cuong: huh?

 

Jon: umm… JOLLY HO!

 

Khoi: oooOOOoh?

 

Seph: …Bah! YOU FAGGOTS! I’LL KILL YOU ALL!

 

Suddenly… a large blast of natural energy comes and disturbs the weird weird occurrences… Sousuke has arrived with hamtaro at his side.

 

Sousuke: You of the… ::stares at Cuong and thinks:: …fuzzy team?

 

Cuong: It’s the furry sexy vampire tubbies you noob!… oh crap… what have I become…

 

Sousuke: Whatever, you idiots… don’t interfere in this match…

 

Seph: hmm?

 

Sousuke: This is a match between the bobas and the vengeance… you have no place here… Two of the boba members are incapacitated… so there’s only one person on the boba team who is eligible to participate!

 

Seph: oh… so that’s how it goes…

 

Joe: umm… I see… and that would be… ::looks around:: Jon… right?

 

Jon: WHAT?! WHAT?! WHAT?!… what?

 

Sousuke: No, the only person who can participate is YOU! ::points to Cuong:: JOE CHOE!

 

Cuong: Huh?!

 

Joe: Yup, that’s right Joe! It’s only you…

 

Cuong: but, I’m not…

 

Joe: He’s not scared to fight! Right? Right? ::pushes Cuong towards Seph:: Good luck Joe!

 

Cuong: …hey, weren’t you all badass when you were fighting him?

 

Joe: ::gets close to Cuong:: ::whispers:: That’s when I had powers… and wasn’t all injured… I’m kinda badly hurt right now and my powers aren’t working… so… GO GET HIM JOE!

 

Jon: …

 

Cuong: …but, but, but…

 

Seph: Sigh… how… disappointing…

 

Hamtaro: ::typing and looking into his laptop:: Umm… sousuke… that chubby kid’s not Joe…

 

Cuong: … ::twitch:: HEY! I’M TUBBY! AND I’M NOT A KID! YOU LITTLE PIECE OF UGLY KHOI CRAP!

 

Jason: …HAHAHAHAHHA! UGLY KHOI CRAP! ::falling slowly down as he grabs his stomach in laughter… notices he’s falling down:: OH SHIT! ::flies back up::

 

Joe: Sigh, fine… He’s not Joe… but I’m… PRETTY SURE HE’S JOE! ::points to Jon::

 

Jon: WHAT?! WHAT?!… what?

 

Hamtaro: ::looking into his laptop:: No… that’s Jon…

 

Jon: WHAT?! I RESENT THAT!… oh wait… I am Jon… ::shifts eyes::

 

Joe: ::points to Sousuke:: FINE THEN! YOU’RE JOE!

 

Sousuke: …

 

Hamtaro: …

 

Seph: …

 

Cuong: …

 

Jason: …

 

Jon: …

 

Joe: …damn… umm… okay, I’m Joe…

 

Sousuke: Good, you’re joe then… I see… well then, continue the fight…

 

Joe: ::tilts head to the side and smiles:: I give up…

 

Jason, Cuong, Jon, Sousuke, Hamtaro, and Seph: WHAT?!!!

 

Jon: What?

 

Joe: Yeah… I don’t think I can beat him right now… so… yeah…

 

Seph: you coward… ::points to the sky:: I’LL KILL YOU! REIGN OF RYUUSEI!

 

Hamtaro: Stop, unless you want to be disqualified from the tournament…

 

Seph: Hmm?

 

Sousuke: …

 

Seph: Heh… ::puts his finger down:: Odd, considering you GAVE us this match… I thought you wanted me to kill them… after all, this IS our fourth one… while we were only supposed to have 3…

 

Sousuke: …we don’t need the likes of you to eliminate our competition… and they’re not even worthy of being called my competition…

 

Seph: ::smiles:: I see…

 

Sousuke: You neither…

 

Seph: ::nods:: yup yup… ::notices what Sousuke said:: WHAT?! I’LL KILL YOU!

 

Joe: oh well, we lose this match… however… ::glares at Seph and Sousuke:: In the finals… we will be there… and I’ll destroy you all!

 

Cuong: …umm…

 

Joe: Oh… when I said you all… I didn’t mean you guys… heh heh?

 

Jason: Darn… and right when I bust out my new technique… everything stops…

 

Seph: ::looks at Jason:: Neko-wing?…

 

Jason flies back to the ground and his wings transform back into Neko-chan who is sitting on his shoulder… Jason goes out of Trance form…

 

Sousuke: …wings…?…

 

Seph: ::also flies back down… Beta Y and Necro are limping towards Seph:: ::wings disperse:: Let’s go…

 

Beta Y: Fine…

 

Necro: … ::stares back at Joe:: ::mutters:: You’re good…

 

Joe: :[pic]: huh?

 

Necro: …when I was fighting that fighter guy… you were fighting Seph… yet… you… always intervened at critical moments to help your teammate… I wonder… if you weren’t preoccupied with that… would you have won against Seph?

 

Seph: ::thinks:: What?…

 

Necro: … ::Looks serious:: However… you are not as strong as Joule… even with your “Trance…”

 

Seph: Joule?… that guy’s not strong… I’M STRONG.

 

Necro: You’re wrong… Joule… ::remembers back:: HAS ALWAYS HELD BACK!

 

Joe: …

 

Cuong: …

 

Jason: …

 

Jon: …

 

Necro: Joule… noboby’s ever seen the full extent of his powers… You’ve fought him before, right?…

 

Joe: …I think maybe once…

 

Necro: …what did he seem like?

 

Joe: …he seemed calm… ::remembers back:: like he was toying with me…

 

Necro: …His power borders that of Seph’s…

 

Seph: …

 

Necro: No… his power may be even greater than Seph’s…

 

Seph: Impossible… I could sense his aura… it was not anything special, it was only close to a regular Trance by those two fags… ::points to Jason and Joe::

 

Jason: Don’t call me a fag…!

 

Necro: …perhaps… ::walking away::

 

Joe: Wait! Why did you tell us this?

 

Necro: …as I am now… I don’t know if I can get my revenge on Joule… however… maybe you guys can… ::walking away and thinking:: Heh, yeah right… in the finals… you’ll lose to Joule… but he’ll most likely be injured… then I’ll come and kill him…

 

Seph: …heh… what nonsense… ::points to Jason:: You may have wings… but… you are far weaker than me… I’ll be sure to kill you next time we meet…

 

Khoi: Meat?! Where?!

 

(joe note: I’m tired and pissed and hungry… and the writing’s not going well, I’m going to go buy some food. I’ll continue this later. This is literally the 3rd rewrite of what happens in this chapter… gayness)

 

(joe note: Strangeness…>__ ................
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