Test Your Might Integrate



Second Album

*Mortal Calculus

*Harvey Mudder Girls

*Old time Sliding Rule

*Walking in Claremont

*Calculus Man

*Where Have all the Women Gone?

*C is for Constant

(in progress)

*Modern Nerdy Eastie

*We choose to live at East Dorm

*Stayin’ Awake

*Down at East Dorm

*Platt Matter

*I Think I’m Paranoid

Test Your Might Integrate

Test Your Might Derivate

Test Your Might Calculate

Test Your Might Postulate

MORTAL KOMBAT (16) MORTAL KALCULUS!

Fight (24+) solve

MORTAL KOMBAT (30.) MORTAL KALCULUS!

Finish Him! (38) Prove it!

Excellent (45+) Q.E.D.

Kato, Liu Kang, Raiden, Jonny Cage, Scorpion, Sub Zero, Sigma, cosine, G63 Newton’s method, complex plane,

Sonya tangent line, limits

MORTAL KOMBAT! (59-) MORTAL KALCULUS!

Fight (107) pi

MORTAL KOMBAT! (113) MORTAL KALCULUS!

Finish Her! (121) Prove it!

Excellent 128 Q.E.D.

Kato, Liu Kang, Raiden, Jonny Cage, Scorpion, Sub Zero, Theta, DE’s, vector fields, Rieman Sums, induction

Sonya polar graph, aleph-nought,

MORTAL KOMBAT! 142 MORTAL KALCULUS!

Finish Him 143.5 Prove it!

Excelent 147 By Induction

Finish Her 150.5 Prove it!

Excelent 154 By Contraditon

Fight 157.5

Test Your Might 212 Derivate

Test Your Might 215.5 Integrate

(219.5)

Kato, Liu Kang, Raiden, Jonny Cage, Scorpion, Sub Zero, trig-sub, u-sub, by parts, power rule, partial fractions,

Sonya symmetry, complex

MORTAL KOMBAT! 232 MORTAL KALCULUS!

Fight! 240 PLUS C!

MORTAL KOMBAT 246- MORTAL KALCULUS!

MORTAL KOMBAT 300 MORTAL KALCULUS!

MORTAL KOMBAT 307.5 MORTAL KALCULUS!

MORTAL KOMBAT 314.5 MORTAL KALCULUS!

Harvey Mudder Girls

Pomona girls are preppy

And think they’re really bright

And the Claremont girls are so big and buff

They could beat me in a fight

The Pitzer girls like liberal arts and enjoy to read and write

And the Scrippie girls are so lonely there

So with them we spend our nights

I wish they all could be Harvey Mudders

I wish they all could be Harvey Mudders

I wish they all could be Harvey Mudder girls

Harvey Mudd has the classes

Like bio and chem and stats

I dig a friendly girl who will gladly go

To a romantic date at Platt

I’ve been all around the whole 5C

and I’ve seen all kinds of girls

Yeah, but I’d rather be back at HMC

Back to the smartest girls in the world

I wish they all could be Harvey Mudders

I wish they all could be Harvey Mudders

I wish they all could be Harvey Mudder girls

Harvey Mudd has the profs

who love to make us work...

Where Have All the Flowers Gone?

words and music by Pete Seeger

Sung by Bob Dylan

Where have all the flowers gone, Where have all the women gone

long time passing? at Harvey Mudd

Where have all the flowers gone, Where have all the women gone

long time ago? long time ago

Where have all the flowers gone? Where have all the women gone

Young girls picked them, every one; To Scripps College, every one

Oh, when will you ever learn, Calculus, they’ll never learn

Oh, when will you ever learn? Calculus, they’ll never learn

Where have all the young girls gone, Where have all the athletes gone

long time passing? at Harvey Mudd?

Where have all the young girls gone, Where have all the athletes gone,

long time ago? long time ago?

Where have all the young girls gone? Where have all the athletes gone,

They've taken husbands, every one; Gone to CMC, every one;

Oh, when will you ever learn, Oh, there they will not learn,

Oh, when will you ever learn? Oh, there they will not learn.

Where have all the young men gone, Where has all the free time gone

long time passing? at Harvey Mudd?

Where have all the young men gone, Where has all the free time gone

long time ago? long time ago?

Where have all the young men gone? Where has all the free time gone?

They're all in uniform; We’ve studied for so long

Oh, when will we ever learn, Oh, now we have finally learned

Oh, when will we ever learn? Oh, now we have finally learned

Where have all the flowers gone, Where have all the rich kids gone

long time passing? at Harvey Mudd

Where have all the flowers gone, Where have all the rich kids gone

long time ago? long time ago

Where have all the flowers gone? Where have all the rich kids gone

Young girls picked them, every one; To Pomona, every one

Oh, when will you ever learn, C++, they’ll never learn

Oh, when will you ever learn? C++, they’ll never learn

Where have all the flowers gone, Where have all the stoners gone

long time passing? at Harvey Mudd

Where have all the flowers gone, Where have all the stoners gone

long time ago? long time ago

Where have all the flowers gone? Where have all the stoners gone

Young girls picked them, every one; Down to Pitzer, every one

Oh, when will you ever learn, Oh, roll a joint, they have learned

Oh, when will you ever learn? Oh, smoke a bowl, they have learned

Calculus Man

Particle Man, Particle Man Calculus Man, Calculus Man

Doing the things a particle can Derives the things that calculus can

What's he like it's not important, Particle Man. Not useful, it’s not important, Calculus Man

Is he a dot or is he a speck? Delta x goes, to infinity

When he's underwater does he get wet? He gets an integral, always adds C

Or does the water get him instead? Or gets the area from a to b

Nobody knows, Particle Man. Under the curve, Calculus Man

Triangle Man, Triangle Man Chemistry Man, Chemistry Man

Triangle Man hates Particle Man He reduces Calculus Man

They have a fight Triangle wins, Triangle Man. But Calculus integrates him, Calculus Man

Universe Man, Universe Man Biology Man, Biology Man

Size of the entire Universe Man. Size of the entire DNA strand

Usually kind to Smaller Man, Universe Man Usualy kind to smaller man, Biology Man

He's got a watch with a minute hand, The blood cells give, a helping hand

Millineum hand, and an eon hand. The white ones fight, the germs if they can

When they meet, it's a happy land When they meet, it’s a killing land

Powerful man, Universe Man. Powerful man, Biology Man

Person Man, Person Man Physics Man, Physics Man

Hit on the head with a frying pan Hit on the head by Apple Man

Lives his life in a garbage hand, Person Man Calls it gravity that made it fall, Physics Man

Is he depressed or is he a mess? Sits in his lab, and studys the stars

Does he feel totally worthless? Looks at sunspots, and looks at Mars

Who came up with Person Man? Worships the great Newton Man

Degraded Man, Person Man Scientist Man, Physics Man

Triangle Man, Triangle Man Chemistry Man, Chemistry Man

Triangle Man hates Person Man Chemistry Man was bit by a mole

They have a fight Triangle wins, Triangle Man Throws Physics Man, in a black hole, Chemistry Man

Old Time Sliding Rule

Just take those old records off the shelf Just take that old slide rule off the shelf

I'll sit and listen to 'em by myself. I’ll sit and calculate all by myself

Today's music ain't got the same soul Today’s machines just aren’t that cool

I like that old time rock 'n' roll I like that old time silding rule

Don't try to take me to a disco Don’t try to give me a calculator

You'll never even get me out on the floor I won’t even know how to turn it on

In ten minutes I'll be late for the door I’d rather have what I know how to use

I like that old time rock 'n' roll I like that old time sliding rule

Old time rock and roll Still like that old time sliding rule

That kind of music just soothes the soul It’s like doing math with real tools

I reminisce about the days of old Call me too stubborn or call me a mule

With that old time rock and roll I like that old time sliding rule

Won't go to hear them play a tango Don’t like to have to push all those keys

I'd rather hear some blues or funky old soul Can’t believe it runs on batteries

There's only one sure way to get me to go I’ll use it on all my exams at school

Start playin' old time rock and roll I need my old time sliding rule

Call me a relic, call me what you will Call me a relic, call me what you will

Say I'm old-fashioned, say I'm over the hill Say I’m old-fashioned, say I’m over the hill

Today's music ain't got the same soul Today’s machines just aren’t that cool

I like that old time rock and roll I like that old time sliding rule

Still like that old time rock and roll Still like that old time sliding rule

That kind of music just soothes the soul It’s like doing math with real tools

I reminisce about the days of old Call me too stubborn or call me a mule

With that old time rock and roll I like that old time sliding rule

Still like that old time rock and roll Still like that old time sliding rule

Old time rock and roll, baby, just soothes the soul It’s like doing math with real tools

I reminisce about the days of old Call me too stubborn or call me a mule

With that old time rock and roll I like that old time sliding rule

Still like that old time rock and roll Still like that old time sliding rule

Old time rock and roll, baby, just soothes the soul It’s like doing math, with real tools

I reminisce about the days of old Call me too stubborn or call me a mule

With that old time rock and roll I like that old time sliding rule

Still like that old time rock and roll Still like that old time slide rule

It just soothes the soul It’s like using real tools

I reminisce about the days of old I’m a mathematitican, not a fool

With that old time rock and roll I’ll use my old time sliding rule

Still like that old time rock and roll Still like that old time sliding rule

Put on my blue suede shoes Put on my big gas mask

And I boarded the plane As I got off the plane

Touched down in the land of the Delta Blues Walked out in the land of the eternal smog

In the middle of the pouring rain Where it never ever rains

W. C. Handy - won 't you look down over me Urban legend says - there are mountains right near by

Yeah I got a first class ticket Yeah, I’ve also heard that rumor

But I'm as blue as a boy can be But all I see is the yellow sky

Then I'm walking in Memphis Then I’m walking in Claremont

Walking with my feet ten feet off of Beale All the vegetation is brown and bare

Walking in Memphis Walking in Claremont

But do I really feel the way I feel But is it really safe to breathe this air

Saw the ghost of Elvis Almost hit by a truck

On Union Avenue On Foothill Bouelvard

Followed him up to the gates of Graceland These Calilfornia drivers are the worst

Then I watched him walk right through They can’t safely drive a car.

Now security they did not see him Now the policemen did not see him

They just hovered 'round his tomb They were busy busting drugs

But there's a pretty little thing But there’s tension among the gangs

Waiting for the King Shots in the air rang

Down in the Jungle Room A fight between the thugs

Then I'm walking in Memphis Then I’m walking in Claremont

Walking with my feet ten feet off of Beale All the vegitation is brown and bare

Walking in Memphis Walking in Claremont

But do I really feel the way I feel But is it really safe to breathe this air

They've got catfish on the table They’ve got botiques in the village

They've got gospel in the air They’ve got palm trees in the sun

And Reverend Green be glad to see you That’s all the entertainment they have

When you haven't got a prayer When you want to have some fun

But boy you've got a prayer in Memphis There is nothing to do in Claremont

Now Muriel plays piano Now down the road is Pitzer

Every Friday at the Hollywood And across the street is CMC

And they brought me down to see her Way down south is Pomona

And they asked me if I would - Farther north lives the Scrippsies

Do a little number But the best of them all

And I sang with all my might Home to the most nerdly studs

And she said - A college--

"Tell me are you a Christian child?" At a place much better than Stanford

And I said "Ma'am I am tonight" Where is this: Why, it’s Harvey Mudd

Then I'm walking in Memphis Then I’m walking in Claremont

Walking with my feet ten feet off of Beale All the vegitation is brown and bare

Walking in Memphis Walking in Claremont

But do I really feel the way I feel But is it really safe to breathe this air

Put on my blue suede shoes Put on my big gas mask

And I boarded the plane As I got off the plane

Touched down in the land of the Delta Blues Walked out in the land of the eternal smog

In the middle of the pouring rain Where it never ever rains

Touched down in the land of the Delta Blues Walked out in the land of the eternal smog

In the middle of the pouring rain Where it never ever rains

"Joining Larry are Uncle Cube and Mr. Shamik, who are part of that

infamous gang of scalliwags, the Pyros Who Don't Do Anything!"

[with apologies to Larry and the gang...]

We are the Pyros Who Don't Do Anything

We just stay at home and work on stems

And if you ask us if we did anything

We'll just tell you... we didn't do anything.

Well, I've never burned Shamik up

And I've never made some napalm

And I've never been in Parsons with the big not-so-red ball

And I've never melted pennies

And I've never run from Camp. Sec.

And I've never been on any roofs at all.

'Cause we're the Pyros Who Don't Do Anything

We just stay at home and work on stems

And if you ask us if we did anything

We'll just tell you... we didn't do anything!

And I've never climbed in Olin

And I've never climbed in Jacobs

And I've never been rappeling down the Galileo Wall

And I've never purchased dry ice

And I've never owned a blowtorch

And I've never been on any roofs at all.

Yes, we're the Pyros Who Don't Do Anything

We just stay at home and work on stems

And if you ask us if we did anything

We'll just tell you... we didn't do anything!

Oh, I've never made pinatas

And I've never toasted Settlers

And I never broke the ceiling of the physics lecture hall

And I've never smashed computers

And I never slept in Honnold

And I've never been on any roofs at all.

And we've never caught a kobold

And we've never worshipped Momar

And we hope to see Shamik and Lucas back here in the fall

And I've never frozen textbooks

And I've never summoned lightning

...and we've never been on ANY ROOFS AT ALL!!

(by Eric Brown and Matt Brubeck 1999-10-31)

“C” is for Constant

Now, what starts with the letter C? Now what stands the letter C?

Cookie starts with C Constant stands for C

Let’s think of other things that start with C Let’s think of other things that stand for C

Aw, who cares about the other things Aw, who cares about the other things

C is for cookie, that’s good enough for me C is for constant, always add a C

C is for cookie, that’s good enough for me C is for constant, always add a C

C is for cookie, that’s good enough for me C is for constant, always add a C

Oh, cookie cookie cookie starts with C Oh, always always always add a C

C is for cookie, that’s good enough for me Oh, C is for constant, always add a C

C is for cookie, that’s good enough for me C is for constant, always add a C

C is for cookie, that’s good enough for me C is for constant, always add a C

Oh, cookie cookie cookie starts with C Oh, always always always add a C

Hey, you know what, a round cookie with one Hey, you know what, light speed also stands for C

bite out of it looks like a C But that has nothing to do with Calculus

A round dohnut with one bite out of it also looks like a C C can also stand for circumference

but it is not as good as a cookie But that usually is only in Geometry

Oh, and the Moon sometimes looks like a C Oh, and Carbon also stands for C

but you can’t eat that But that’s chemistry!

C is for cookie, that’s good enough for me C is for constant, always add a C

C is for cookie, that’s good enough for me Yeah, C is for constant, always add a C

C is for cookie, that’s good enough for me C is for constant, always add a C

Oh, cookie cookie cookie starts with C Oh, always always always add a C

Yeah, cookie cookie cookie starts with C Yeah, always always always add a C

Oh boy, cookie cookie cookie starts with C Don’t forget, always always always add a C

juggling, simpsons, big not so red ball, 2000 fun balls, red dwarf

"We Didn't Start the Fire"

Harry Truman, Doris Day, Red China, Johnnie Ray Dorm meetings, no beer, juggling, awesome cheers

South Pacific, Walter Winchell, Joe DiMaggio ITR Games, chessers, solve the rubix cube

Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Studebaker, television Integrating, fluffy bunnies, yes it’s fun, acting nerdy

North Korea, South Korea, Marilyn Monroe Death Chess, push your pawns, Streaking in the nude

Rosenbergs, H-bomb, Sugar Ray, Panmunjom Awesome pranks, four-square, blow things up, comfy chairs

Brando, "The King and I" and "The Catcher in the Rye" Wasting time, lounge around, then stay up till after dawn

Eisenhower, vaccine, England's got a new queen Too much caffine, frisbee, got the best cleaning lady,

Marciano, Liberace, Santayana goodbye Happyville, Timesuck Party, What is your purity?

CHORUS

We didn't start the fire We didn’t live in West Dorm

It was always burning Cause we don’t drink beer

Since the world's been turning And we like to hear

We didn't start the fire We didn’t live in North Dorm

No we didn't light it But with them we compete

But we tried to fight it Though we never screw sheep

Joseph Stalin, Malenkov, Nasser and Prokofiev EDC, Movies, Read a book up in the tree

Rockefeller, Campanella, Communist Bloc Gay rights signs, petty crimes, Walk in bare feet

Roy Con, Juan Peron, Toscanini, dacron Time Suck, Scandel Suite, aardvark, G63

Dien Bien Phu falls, "Rock Around the Clock" Hypecube, Brothel suite, and the Funball Suite,

Einstein, James Dean, Brooklyn's got a winning team IM games, we get creamed, volleyball’s a winning team

Davy Crockett, Peter Pan, Elvis Presley, Disneyland Walks to Pitzer, CMC, EDSP

Bardot, Budapest, Alabama, Krushchev Old junk, smashy-smash, Go to Putnam, fun with math

Princess Grace, "Peyton Place", trouble in the Suez Procrastinate, stay up late, study until we crash

We didn't start the fire We didn’t live in South Dorm

It was always burning Because riding uni’s

Since the world's been turning Makes our sperm count puny

We didn't start the fire We didn’t live in Atwood

No we didn't light it Cause it’s way too cold there

But we tried to fight it And there’s two flights of stairs

Little Rock, Pasternak, Mickey Mantle, Kerouac Blended drinks, Talking Schmack, different boardgames, forms of crack

Sputnik, Chou En-Lai, "Bridge on the River Kwai" Boggle, Baw-man-now, mysterious moaning cow

Lebanon, Charlse de Gaulle, California baseball Nicknames, Simpsons craze, X-files every Sunday

Starkweather, homicide, children of thalidomide Barbeques, MOB’s, laughing at the drunk northies

Buddy Holly, "Ben Hur", space monkey, Mafia Vegitales, Jugglers Jam, smash brothersm, Lots of spam

Hula hoops, Castro, Edsel is a no-go Laser tag, run and hide, Freshmen sleeping outside

U-2, Syngman Rhee, payola and Kennedy RFS, songs for stems, swooping all the freshmen

Chubby Checker, "Psycho", Belgians in the Congo Proctor Candy, Miss SWE, 10 minute parties

W didn't start the fire We didn’t live in Linde Dorm

It was always burning Cause our desks are bigger

Since the world's been turning And our couches better

We didn't start the fire We didn’t live in Case Dorm

No we didn't light it Cause we don’t need combos

But we tried to fight it On all our lounge doors

Hemingway, Eichmann, "Stranger in a Strange Land" ...

Dylan, Berlin, Bay of Pigs invasion

"Lawrence of Arabia", British Beatlemania

Ole Miss, John Glenn, Liston beats Patterson

Pope Paul, Malcolm X, British politician sex

JFK, blown away, what else do I have to say what else do I have to say (Oh...Fuck you Martin!)

CHORUS

Birth control, Ho Chi Minh, Richard Nixon back again

Moonshot, Woodstock, Watergate, punk rock

Begin, Reagan, Palestine, terror on the airline

Ayatollah's in Iran, Russians in Afghanistan

"Wheel of Fortune", Sally Ride, heavy metal, suicide

Foreign debts, homeless vets, AIDS, crack, Bernie Goetz

Hypodermics on the shores, China's under martial law

Rock and roller cola wars, I can't take it anymore South of North and East of West, East dorm is the very best!

CHORUS

We didn't start the fire We chose to live in East Dorm

But when we are gone But when we are gone

Will it still burn on, and on, and on, and on... It will live on, and on, and on, and on...

I am the very model of a modern Major-General, I am the very model of a modern nerdy Eastie

I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral, Don’t give me alcohol cause it will make me feel queasy

I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical I shower those who have a birthday and anyone else who I please

From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical; Standing on the big not so red ball I can juggle more than three

I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical, I like to read a book in the hammock way up in the big tree

I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical, I can integrate a function and never forget to add C

About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news, After 2 a.m. I run through the courtyard, streaking in the nude

With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse. I can solve every puzzle most noteably the rubix cube

ALL: ALL:

With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse. We can solve every puzzle, most noteably the rubix cube

With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse. We can solve every puzzle, most noteably the rubix cube

With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse. We can solve every puzzle, most noteably the rubix cube

SOLO:

I'm very good at integral and differential calculus; I never wear my shoes because I prefer to walk in bare feet

I know the scientific names of beings animalculous: My friends live in Time Suck, Hypercube, and Scandel Suite

In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral, I stay up and study on the couches till way after three

I am the very model of a modern Major-General. I am the very model of a modern nerdy Eastie

ALL: ALL:

In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral, We stay up to study on the couches till way after three

He is the very model of a modern Major-General. We are the very model of a modern nerdy Eastie

GENERAL:

I know our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's; I go to the lab each night with my friends to play the game star crack

I answer hard acrostics, I've a pretty taste for paradox, Or sit at my computer and send lots of e-mail to Schmack

I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus, I can program in C and Java and I know how to hack

In conics I can floor peculiarities parabolous; For all the puzzles sitting in the lounge I’ve really got a knack

I can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies,

I know the croaking chorus from the Frogs of Aristophanes!

Then I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's din afore, I make sure that in the East Dorm lounge there’s never any porn

And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore. Cause in all of Harvey Mudd I live in the very best dorm

ALL:

And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore. Cause in all of Harvey Mudd we’re living in the very best dorm

And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore. Cause in all of Harvey Mudd we’re living in the very best dorm

And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore. Cause in all of Harvey Mudd we’re living in the very best dorm

GENERAL:

Then I can write a washing bill in Babylonic cuneiform, Every Saturday at midnight we go down to play ITR games

And tell you ev'ry detail of Caractacus's uniform: One of us is the mad killer but we don’t know who we should blame

In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral, So we chase each other with duct tape daggers down at AC

I am the very model of a modern Major-General. We are the very model of a modern nerdy Eastie

ALL:

In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral, So we chase each other with duct tape daggers down at AC

He is the very model of a modern Major-General. We are the very model of a modern nerdy Eastie

GENERAL:

In fact, when I know what is meant by "mamelon" and "ravelin",

When I can tell at sight a Mauser rifle from a javelin,

When such affairs as sorties and surprises I'm more wary at,

And when I know precisely what is meant by "commissariat",

When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery, I spend all my time playing smash brothers in G63

When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery-- I like to integrate many things especially fluffy bunnys

In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy, I always dress up drag and enter the beauty paegent for SWE

You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee. I’m proud that all the other dorms say I am really nerdy

ALL:

You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee. We’re proud that all the other dorms say we are really nerdy

You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee. We’re proud that all the other dorms say we are really nerdy

You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee. We’re proud that all the other dorms say we are really nerdy

GENERAL:

For my military knowledge, though I'm plucky and adventury,

Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century;

But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,

I am the very model of a modern Major-General.

ALL:

But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,

He is the very model of a modern Major-General.

Tubthumbing

Little old Lady from Pasedena

East Side Story

My Girl

We Built this city

Last Kiss

Rock around the clock

Summer of 69

Old time rock’roll

Down of the corner

Walking in Claremont

YMCA

Semi-charmed life

Hotel California

*I will survive

*500 miles

Real Word

*Blowing in the wind

Girls just wanna have fun

Ironic 0! = 1 x^0 = 1 # of evens = # of integers

I think I’m paranoid

My girl

The Joker

twelve, plus a gross, plus a score (7)

plus three times square root of 4

divided by seven

times 5 times eleven

equals 9 squared and not a bit more

The integral 3 times 3

3 t squared, and plus 2 t

t-squared, t times nine

plus t cubed , and I can’t rhyme

But at last don’t forget to add C

When the Delta t’s nearly

1 over infinity

Of sigma of t

integrate from a to b

of the function t dt.

It's the liitle old lady from Pasadena It’s the little old college in Pasadena

It's the liitle old lady from Pasadena It’s the little old college in Pasadena

Go granny, go granny, go granny go Go techies, go techies, go techies go

Got a pretty little flower bed of white gardenias

Go granny, go granny, go granny go

But parked in her rickety old garage

Is a brand new shiny red Super-Stock Dodge

And everybody's saying there's nobody meaner

Than the little old lady from Pasadena

She drives real fast and she drives real hard

She's a terror out on Colorado Boulevard

It's the liitle old lady from Pasadena

You can see her on the street just gettin' her kicks now

Go granny, go granny, go granny go

With her four speed stick and her four-twenty-six now

Go granny, go granny, go granny go

She's gonna get a ticket now sooner or later

'Cause she can't keep her foot off the accelerator

And everybody's saying there's nobody meaner

Than the little old lady from Pasadena

She drives real fast and she drives real hard

She's a terror out on Colorado Boulevard

And everybody's saying there's nobody meaner

Than the little old lady from Pasadena

She drives real fast and she drives real hard

She's a terror out on Coloradooulevard

It's the liitle old lady from Pasadena

If you see her on the street don't try to choose her

Go granny, go granny, go granny go

You may have a goer but you'll never lose her

Go granny, go granny, go granny go

The guys come to race her from miles around

But she'll them a length and she'll shut 'em down

And everybody's saying there's nobody meaner

Than the little old lady from Pasadena

She drives real fast and she drives real hard

She's a terror out on Colorado Boulevard

It's the liitle old lady from Pasadena

Go granny, go granny, go granny go

Granny go

Go granny, go granny, go granny go

Granny go

Go granny, go granny, go granny go

Granny go

Go granny, go granny, go granny go

Granny go

Verse 1:

Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk, Well, you can tell list’ning to this boring prof

I'm a woman's man: no time to talk. Its snoozing time, i must doze off

Music loud and women warm. Mumbling loud, the room’s too warm

I've been kicked around since I was born. How in hell am i s’posed to learn

And now it's all right - it's O.K. - Now its all righ, its OK

And you may look the other way. He’ll just look the other way

Chorus:

We can try to understand the New York Times' effect on man. We can’t try to understand the electric fields effect on man whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother, Whether you’re a Freshman or whether you’re a Senior

You're stayin alive, stayin' alive. You’re stayin awake, stayin awake

Feel the city breakin' and ev'rybody shakin' Your classmates are snoring, the prof is really boring

and we're stayin' alive, stayin' alive. But we’re stayin’ awake, stayin’ awake

Ah, ha, ha, ha, Stayin' Alive, Stayin alive Ah, ha, ha, ha, Stayin’ Awake, stayin awake

Ah, ha, ha, ha, Stayin Alive........ Ah ha ha ha Stayin awake.........

Verse 2:

Well now, I get low and I get high Now you can tell by the bags under my eyes

And if I can't get either I really try. That I was up studing way past sunrise

Got the wings of heaven on my shoes

I'm a dancin' man and I just can't lose.

You know it's all right, I'm O.K.

I'll live to see another day.

Chorus

Refrain:

Life goin' nowhere. Somebody help me. Caffine addiction. Somebody help me

Somebody help, me, yeah. Will you inject me, yeah

Life goin' nowhere. Somebody help, me, yeah. Caffine addiction, Somebody help, me, yeah

Verse 1 repeat

chorus

refrain

Stayin' Alive --- (to beginning and fade... Well, you can

tell.... )

Class of 97: wear sunscreen. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, suncreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen has been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own, meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. But never mind, you will never understand the power and the beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in twenty years, you will look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now, how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future or worry knowing that knowing that worry is just as affective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind. The kind that blindsides you at 4 PM on some idle Tuesday. Do one thing every day that scares you. Sing.

*Don't be reckless with other peoples' hearts, don't put up with people who are reckless with yours. Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealously. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and in the end, it's only with yourself.

*Remember compliments you receive, forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how. Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements. Stretch.

*Don't feel guilty if you don't know what to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives; some of the most interesting 40 year olds still don't. Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when they're gone.

*Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the 'Funky Chicken' on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

*Enjoy your body. Use it everywhere you can. Don't be afraid of it or what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

*Dance. Even if you have nowhere to do it but your own living room.

*Read the directions even if you don't follow them.

*Do not read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

*Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good.

Be nice to your siblings. They are your best link to your past and the most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go. But for a precious few, you should hold on.

Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, for the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

*Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.

*Accept certain inalienable truths: prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old and when you do, you’ll fanaticise that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders. Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse but you'll never know when either one might run out.

*Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're forty, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of wishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth. But trust me on the sunscreen

Harvey Mudd Students: You don’t need sunscreen. Though the long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, under the thick Claremont smog, you won’t need it. The rest of my advice has basis no more reliable than my own, meandering experience, and from Professor Evans’ sworn testimonies. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the simpleness and beauty of frosh chem. But nevermind, you will not understand the simpleness and beauty of frosh chem until it’s over. But trust me, in three years when you’re in big Quantum, you’ll look back at your notes and recall in a way you can’t grasp now, how much free time you had and how easy it used to be. Traveling at relativistic speeds, you would not be as fat as you imagine.

Don’t worry about the finals, or worry but know that worring is just as effective as trying to solve a multivariable calculus problem by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your schedule are apt to be classes that you put off till your senior year. The kind that you skip lecture to sleep in an extra hour at 8:20 some idle Tuesday. Take one class every semester that scares you. Relax

Don’t be a jackass, and don’t put up with people who are. Study.

Don't waste your time worrying about your G.P.A. Sometimes you're doing bad, sometimes you’re doing worse. The race is long and in the end, you’re always behind

Remember the A’s you receive, forget the D’s. If you succeed in doing this, I’ll shower you. Keep your old low grade notices, throw away your old phone bills. Don’t stalk the women.

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what your major is good for. Many successful people have graduated with a degree in chemistry; and some of the most successful people even dropped out. Get plenty of sheep.

Be thankful for the gods of partial credit and for the CS tutors, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.

(music change)

Maybe you'll graduatate, maybe you’ll drop out. Maybe you'll ITR, maybe you won’t. Maybe you'll go to grad school, maybe you'll dance the 'Funky Chicken' after getting your dissertation. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either. Your grades are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Watch the Simpsons. Anytime you can. Don’t let down if others wan’t to watch Star Trek, the X-files, or the Superbowl. It’s the greatest t.v. show you’ll ever see.

Juggle. Even if you have nowhere to do it but your own Dorm Courtyard

Go to lectures, even if you don’t pay attention

Do not watch porn in the lounge, it will only make you feel ugly

(music change)

Call your parents at least once a month. You never know when you’ll need an extra credit card.

Be nice to your roommates. And remember, not on their stuff.

???Understand that friends come and go. But for a precious few, you should hold on.???

Work hard to bridge the gaps between dorms and classes, for the older you get, the more likely you are too move out to Case or Linde.

Take a class at Pitzer once, but leave before it makes you bored. Take a class at Pomona once, but leave before it makes you bored. Travel, off campus.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Stems will suck, freshmen will be swooped, and you too will get sleep dep, and when you do, you’ll fantasize that when you were in high school, classes were easy, the ratio was lower, and you got 8 hours of sleep a night. Get 8 hours of sleep each night. Don’t expect stimulants to support you. Maybe you’ll take caffine pills, maybe you’ll drink coffee at Platt, but you’ll never know when either one might run out.

Don’t eat too much Platt food, or by the time you’re twenty, you’ll look 40.

Be careful whose advice you buy. Some people will tell you that they’ve caught a kobalt, others will swear that Harvey Mudd is a gateway to the underworld. But trust me on the Sunscreen.

E = mc^2 F is ma

young man, there's no need to feel down.

I said, young man, pick yourself off the ground.

I said, young man, 'cause you're in a new town

there's no need to be unhappy.

young man, there's a place you can go.

I said, young man, when you're short on your dough.

you can stay there, and I'm sure you will find

many ways to have a good time.

it's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.

it's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.

they have everything for you men to enjoy,

you can hang out with all the boys ...

it's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.

it's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.

you can get yourself cleaned, you can have a good meal,

you can do whatever you feel ...

young man, are you listening to me?

I said, young man, what do you want to be?

I said, young man, you can make real your dreams.

but you got to know this one thing!

no man does it all by himself.

I said, young man, put your pride on the shelf,

and just go there, to the y.m.c.a.

I'm sure they can help you today.

it's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.

it's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.

they have everything for you men to enjoy,

you can hang out with all the boys ...

it's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.

it's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.

you can get yourself cleaned, you can have a good meal,

you can do whatever you feel ...

young man, I was once in your shoes.

I said, I was down and out with the blues.

I felt no man cared if I were alive.

I felt the whole world was so tight ...

that's when someone came up to me, and said,

young man, take a walk up the street.

there's a place there called the y.m.c.a.

they can start you back on your way.

it's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.

it's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.

they have everything for you men to enjoy,

you can hang out with all the boys ...

y-m-c-a ... you'll find it at the y-m-c-a.

young man, young man, there's no need to feel down.

young man, young man, get yourself off the ground.

y-m-c-a ... you'll find it at the y-m-c-a.

young man, young man, there's no need to feel down.

young man, young man, get yourself off the ground.

y-m-c-a ... just go to the y-m-c-a.

young man, young man, are you listening to me?

young man, young man, what do you wanna be?

Early in the evenin' just about supper time,

Over by the courthouse they're starting to unwind.

Four kids on the corner trying to bring you up.

Willy picks a tune out and he blows it on the harp.

CHORUS:

Down On The Corner, out in the street, Down at East Dorm, South of North and East of West

Willy and the Poorboys are playin'; The jugglers do the shower

Bring a nickel; tap your feet. And go right into Mills Mess

Rooster hits the washboard and people just got to smile, Right then out of nowhere, a game of crack begins

Blinky, thumps the gut bass and solos for a while. One side takes a bishop and looks like they will win

Poorboy twangs the rhythm out on his kalamazoo. Over on the chess board, they fork the king and queen

Willy goes into a dance and doubles on kazoo. But the checker double jumps and it’s looking real mean

CHORUS

CHORUS

You don't need a penny just to hang around, You don’t need permissions just to hang around

But if you've got a nickel, won't you lay your money down? You can stay up in the thrid floor

Over on the corner there's a happy noise.

People come from all around to watch the magic boy.

CHORUS

CHORUS

CHORUS

evenin'

Just about suppertime

Over by the courthouse

They're starting to unwind

Four kids on the cor

Chorus:

The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire The food, the food, the food is Platt matter

The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire The food, the food, the food is Platt matter

The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire The food, the food, the food is Platt matter

We don't need no water let the Motherfucker burn, We don’t like to eat it cause it’s made out of rubber,

burn Motherfucker, burn. and it was cooked last week

Hello my name is "Jimmy Pop" and I'm a dumb White guy Hello I’m a Harvey Mudder and I’m a real nerd

I'm not "old" or "new" but "middle" school But this food is slowly killing me,

Fifth grade like "Jr. High" Tastes like it’s made of terds.

I don't know MoFo y'all peeps be bugging I wanna transfer to Pitzer where the food’s

givin' props to my ho cause she's fly real and therefore much more prefered

But I can take the heat 'cause I'm the other white meat Cause I’m getting fatter cause living on Platt matter

known as "Kid Funky Fry" Is really quite absurd

Yeah, I'm hung like planet Pluto hard to see with the naked eye Platt matter is the basic form of matter in the universe

But if I crashed into "Uranus" I would stick it where the sun don't shine It’s delivered in large metal bins where heat radiation is immersed

'Cause I'm kinda like Han Solo always stroking my own "Wookie" Years ago it was much better but now Airmart has laid its curse

I'm the root to all that's evil yeah but you can call me "Cookie" McDonalds has better food cause food twice leftover is the worst

CHORUS CHORUS

Yo, yo Yo, yo

This "Hardcore Ghetto Gangster" thing does take a lot of practice Airmart stopped serving juice at all meals cause they are really cheap

I'm not Black like Barry White though I am White like Frank Black is Now they’ve charged us more for the food but lowered the quality

So if Man is "5" and the Devil is "6", then that must make me "7" They forget to cook it, at a temperature, so people are suffering

This Honkey's gone to Heaven from Samonella poisening

But if I go to Hell, well then I hope I burn well If I could only tell, what is that awful smell

I'll spend my days with JFK, Marvin Gaye, It could be mashed potateos, which are made

Martha Raye and Lawrence Welk by adding water and stirring well

and Kurth Cobain, Kojak, Mark Twain and Jimmi Hendrix's poltergeist the gravy, was cooked, at Frarie, and the pop’s all watered down

And Webster, yeah, Emmanuel Lewis, 'cause he's the "Anti-Christ" the eggs are instant, the bacon singed, and they burnt the hash browns

CHORUS

Everybody here we go(ooh, ooh)

Come on Pary People(ooh, ooh) Come on Harvey Mudders(ooh, ooh)

Throw your hands in the air(ooh, ooh) Let’s throw some napkin balls

Come on Party People(ooh,ooh) Come on Harvey Mudders(ooh, ooh)

Wave 'em like ya don't care(ooh,ooh)

Come on Party People(ooh,ooh) Come on Harvey Mudders(ooh, ooh)

Everybody say "Ho"(ooh,ooh)

Come on Pary People(ooh,ooh) Come on Harvey Mudders(ooh, ooh)

Everybody here we go(ooh,ooh)...(repeat and fade)

500 Miles

When I wake up yeah I know I'm gonna be

I'm gonna be the man who wakes up next to you

When I go out yeah I know I'm gonna be

I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you

If I get drunk yes I know I'm gonna be

I'm gonna be the man who gets drunk next to you

And if I haver yeah I know I'm gonna be

I'm gonna be the man who's havering to you

But I would walk 500 miles But I would work 500 hours

And I would walk 500 more And I would come to every class

Just to be the man who walked 1,000 miles Just to avoid another low grade notice and

To fall down at your door To try to get a pass

When I'm working yes I know I'm gonna be

I'm gonna be the man who's working hard for you

And when the money comes in for the work I'll do

I'll pass almost every penny on to you

But I would walk 500 miles

And I would walk 500 more

Just to be the man who walked 1,000 miles

To fall down at your door

When I come home yeah I know I'm gonna be

I'm gonna be the man who comes back home to you

And if I grow old well I know I'm gonna be

I'm gonna be the man who's growing old with you

But I would walk 500 miles

And I would walk 500 more

Just to be the man who walked 1,000 miles

To fall down at your door

When I'm lonely yes I know I'm gonna be

I'm gonna be the man who's lonely without you

When I'm dreaming yes I know

I'm gonna dream Dream about the time when I'm with you

But I would walk 500 miles

And I would walk 500 more

Just to be the man who walked 1,000 miles

To fall down at your door

Some people call me the space cowboy, yeah Some call me a

Some call me the gangster of love Some say that I’m way to nerdy

Some people call me Maurice Some people call me

Cause I speak of the pompitous of love Cause I integrate fluffy bunnies

People talk about me, baby Grad schools talk about us, also

Say I'm doin' you wrong, doin' you wrong Say we’re the brighest, in the nation

Well, don't you worry baby

Don't worry

Cause I'm right here, right here, right here,

right here at home

Cause I'm a picker I’m a Mudder

I'm a grinner

I'm a lover

And I'm a sinner

I play my music in the sun I do my homework in the sun

I'm a joker I’m a chemist

I'm a smoker A physicist

I'm a midnight toker And a biologist

I sure don't want to hurt no one Living as a Californian

You're the cutest thing

That I ever did see

I really love your peaches

Want to shake your tree

Lovey-dovey, lovey-dovey, lovey-dovey all the time

Ooo-eee baby, I'll sure show you a good time

Cause I'm a picker

I'm a grinner

I'm a lover

And I'm a sinner

I play my music in the sun

I'm a joker

I'm a smoker

I'm a midnight toker

I get my lovin' on the run

I'm a picker

I'm a grinner

I'm a lover

And I'm a sinner

I play my music in the sun

I'm a joker

I'm a smoker

I'm a midnight toker

I sure don't want to hurt no one

Wooo Woooo

People keep talking about me baby

They say I'm doin' you wrong

Well don't you worry, don't worry, no don't worry mama

Cause I'm right here at home

You're the cutest thing I ever did see

Really love your peaches want to shake your tree

Lovey-dovey, lovey-dovey, lovey-dovey all the time

Come on baby and I'll show you a good time

You can look but you can't touch You can teach but I won’t get it

I don't think I like you much Sit in class and sleep a bit

Heaven knows what a girl can do Heaven knows why this is so hard

Heaven knows what you've got to prove Heaven knows if I’ll ITR

I think I'm paranoid and complicated I think I’m paranoid and sleep deprived

I think I'm paranoid, manipulate it I think I’m paranoid, trying to stay alive

Bend me break me Take notes, study

Anyway you need me Done means I get a D

All I want is you That’s my only goal

Bend me break me

Breaking down is easy

All I want is you

I fall down just to give you a thrill I

Prop me up with another pill Wake me up with a caffine pill

If I should fail, if I should fold If I should fail, if I should flunk

I nailed my faith to the sticking pole Then pack my bags in the car trunk

I think I'm paranoid, manipulate it I think I’m paranoid and sleep deprived

I think I'm paranoid, too complicated I think I’m paranoid, trying to stay alive

Bend me break me

Anyway you need me

All I want is you

Bend me break me

Breaking down is easy

All I want is you

I think I'm paranoid

I think I'm paranoid

Bend me break me Take notes, study

Anyway you need me Hang with friends and smoke weed

All I want is you Get a little high

Bend me break me

Breaking down is easy

All I want is you

Steal me, deal me, anyway you heal me

Maim me, tame me, you can never change me

Love me, like me, come ahead and fight me

Please me, tease me, go ahead and leave me

Bend me break me

Anyway you need me

As long as I want you baby it's alright

Bend me break me

Anyway you need me

As long as I want you baby it's alright

An old man turned ninety-eight

He won the lottery and died the next day

It's a black fly in your Chardonnay

It's a death row pardon two minutes too late

Isn't it ironic...don't you think

It's like rain on your wedding day It’s mercury, in a liquid state

It's a free ride when you've already paid It’s how water is an acid or base

It's the good advice that you just didn't take It’s sulfur’s octet, has way more than 8

Who would've thought...it figures Who would’ve thought...it figures

Mister Play It Safe was afraid to fly Take water, even deionized

He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids good-bye Has hydronium, and still hydroxide

He waited his whole damn life to take that flight

And as the plane crashed down he thought

"Well isn't this nice..."

And isn't it ironic...don't you think

*Repeat chorus*

Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you

When you think everything's okay and everything's going right

And life has a funny way of helping you out when

You think everything's gone wring and everything blows up

In your face

A traffic jam when you're already late

A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break

It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife

It's meeting the man of my dreams

And then meeting his beautiful wife

And isn't it ironic...don't you think

A little too ironic...and yeah I really do think

*Repeat Chorus*

Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you

Life has a funny, funny way of helping you out

Helping you out

Real World

I wonder what it's like to be the rainmaker I wonder what it’s like if strings were really massless

I wonder what it's like to know that I made the rain I wonder what’s it’s like if pulleys had no friction

I'd store it in boxes with little yellow tags on everyone It’s best to ignore these annoying Complications

And you can come and see them when I'm...done, when I'm done And it really helps when we make...calculations

I wonder what it's like to be a super hero I wonder what’s it’s like without air resistense

I wonder where I'd go if I could fly around downtown I wonder what would happen without drag forces

From some other planet, I get this funky high on yellow sun It’ll work out just perfect, there’d be no terminal velocity

Boy I bet my friends will be...stunned, they're stunned Doing all the math would be...easy, it’s easy

(Chorus)

Yeah, Straight up, what did you hope to learn about here Yeah,

If I were someone else, would this all fall apart

Strange, where were you, when we started this gig,

I wish the real world, would just stop hassling me I wish the real world, would just stop hassling me

I wonder what it's like to be the head honcho

I wonder what I'd do if they all did just what I said

I'd shout out an order, I think we're out of this man get me some

Boy don't make me wanna change my...tone, my tone

(Chorus)

Please don't change, please don't break

The only thing that seems to work at all is you

Please don't change, at all from me

To you, and you to me

(Chorus)

STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN STAIRWAY FROM BECKMAN

There's a lady who's sure There a Mudder who knows

All that glitters is gold When a lecture’s a bore

And she's buying a stairway to heaven And she’s leaving the stairway from Beckman

When she gets there she knows When she gets there she knows

If the stores are all closed Student’s eyes are all closed

With a word she can get what she came for They’re missing the class they all paid for

Ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh ooh ooh ooh-ooh, Ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh ooh ooh ooh-ooh,

and she's buying a stairway to heaven And she’s leaving the stairway from Beckman

There's a sign on the wall There are notes on the board

But she wants to be sure Telling what is in store

'Cause you know sometimes words have two meanings Cause you know it’ll be on the midterm

In a tree by the brook *In the front of the hall

There's a songbird who sings There’s a prof who knows all

Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiven And he’s teaches though no one is listening

Ooh, it makes me wonder Ooh, it makes me tired

Ooh, it makes me wonder Ooh, it makes me tired

There's a feeling I get My class in discrete

When I look to the west Nearly puts me to sleep

And my spirit is crying for leaving And my spirit is crying for leaving

In my thoughts I have seen In my thoughts I have seen

Rings of smoke through the trees Hundreds of daydreams

And the voices of those who stand looking At many places where I’d rather be

Ooh, it makes me wonder Ooh, it makes me tired

Ooh, it really makes me wonder Ooh, it really makes me tired

And it's whispered that soon And it’s rumored that soon

If we all call the tune

Then the piper will lead us to reason

And a new day will dawn

For those who stand long

And the forests will echo with laughter

Ohh-ooh ohh-ooh ohh-ooh ohh-ooh ohh hoh

If there's a bustle in your hedgerow If there’s a letter in your mailbox

Don't be alarmed now From one of your profs

It's just a spring clean for the May-Queen It’s just another low grade notice

Yes, there are two paths you can go by Yes, it’s likely that you will not pass

But in the long run But in the long run

There's still time to change the road you're on There’s still time to change the grade you have

And it makes me wonder And it makes me tired

Ahhh, hoh-hoh

Your head is humming and it won't go

In case you don't know Because you don’t know

The piper's calling you to join him ITR’s calling you to join them

Dear lady, can you hear the wind blow

And did you know

Your stairway lies on the whispering wind

(Guitar Solo)

And as we wind on down the road

Our shadows taller than our soul

There walks a lady we all know

Who shines white light and wants to show

How ev'rything still turns to gold

And if you listen very hard

The tune will come to you at last

When all are one and one is all, yeah-ee-yeah

To be a rock and not to roll

And she's buying a stairway to heaven And she’s leaving the stairway from Beckman

Imagine

Imagine there's no heaven Imagine there’s no friction

It's easy if you try It’s easy if you hope

No hell below us Never on a pulley

Above us only sky Not even on a slope

Imagine all the people Imagine all vehicles

Living for today... Will not ever stop...

Imagine there's no countries Imagine strings are massless

It isn't hard to do

Nothing to kill or die for

And no religion too

Imagine all the people

Living life in peace...

You may say I'm a dreamer You may laugh at my assumptions

But I'm not the only one But I’m am just a prof

I hope someday you'll join us

And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions Imagine there’s no drag force

I wonder if you can It’s ....

No need for greed or hunger No terminal velocity

A brotherhood of man And no air resistance

Imagine all the people Imagine parachuters

Sharing all the world... Falling like a rock

You may say I'm a dreamer

But I'm not the only one

I hope someday you'll join us

And the world will live as one

It’s a square wave after all

It’s a square wave after all

It’s a square wave after all

It’s a square square wave

It’s got one small peak and a little trough

Its only values are on and off

We are the jugglers who can’t do anything

We go to festivals, and do three balls

And if you ask us, if we do anything

We’ll just tell you...we can’t do anything.

Well, I’ve never juggled Mills Mess

And I’ve never done the yo-yo

And I’ve never done a passing pattern with any of my friends

And I’ve never done the shuffle

And I’ve never crossed my arms twice

And I’ve never juggled Rubenstein’s Revenge

Cause we’re the jugglers who can’t do anything

we go to festivals, and do three balls

And if you ask us, if we do anything

We’ll just tell you...we can’t do anything

And I’ve never done a shower

And I’ve never done Burkes Barrage

And I’ve never juggled by bouncing the balls off the floor

And I’ve never done a back cross

And I’ve never done a chin trap

And we’ve never juggled any more than four

Yes, we’re the jugglers who can’t do anything

We go to festivals, and do three balls

And if you ask us if we did anything

We’ll just tell you...we can’t do anything

Oh, I’ve never done a neck catch

And I’ve never done reverse chops

And I’ve never done a split or a stacked multiplex

And I’ve never done a kick-up

And I’ve never done a siteswap

And I’ve never done a 3-up piroutte

Yes, we’re the jugglers who can’t do anything

We go to festivals, and do three balls

And if you ask us if we did anything

We’ll just tell you...we don’t do anything

And I’ve never done Boston’s Mess in the Fall

...and we’ve never ever dropped a single ball

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